5. Three Is a Crowd

"What—is—this?"
"This is a child! We only found it today. It's as large as life, and twice as natural!"
"I always thought they were fabulous monsters!"
~ Lewis Carroll

"Albus, this is out of the question!" Severus pursed his lips and crossed his arms over his chest. His expression would be a perfect illustration for 'mulish obstinacy' in any dictionary.

"We have no choice, Severus," Albus Dumbledore said not without some impatience.

Lucius who had been five minutes late to his eavesdropping session and so had not heard what all this was about, was also becoming tired of this inane dialogue that seemed to consist of "It is really necessary, my boy!" and "No, never, I won't do it!".

"What is out of the question?" he asked, leaving his hiding place behind a giant fir-tree and coming out into the clearing.

Both quarrellers went silent and stared at him.

"How long have you been here?" Albus asked at last a bit reproachfully.

Lucius made some quick calculations in his mind.

"About a month and a half, I guess. Why?"

The old man sighed gravely.

"It does not matter. I wonder what—"

"...does the Dark Lord think of you and Severus?" Lucius asked, narrowing his eyes. "And what does the Ministry think of me?"

"Nothing," Albus said cautiously.

"And the Dark Lord thinks of you exactly the same thing," Lucius smiled. "So, what is this idea of yours that Severus thinks is out of the question?"

"His idea," Severus seethed, "is dropping Potter off here to stay with us until the end of summer."

"Severus!" Dumbledore looked appalled with this indiscreet announcement.

"Pray tell, why not?" Lucius's surprise seemed to be so honest, that Dumbledore and Snape stared at him again. "The accommodations might be a bit small, but I am sure we can dig out a second hut. Well, Severus can, anyway. And you will have to deliver more provisions, but this is just details, and so should be manageable."

Severus suddenly rediscovered his ability to speak.

"Are you crazy?!"

Meanwhile, the Headmaster's blue eyes began sparkling strangely.

"Please correct me if I misunderstood you, Lucius. You don't mind looking after Harry, is that what you are saying?" he asked.

"Not at all," Lucius answered magnanimously, ignoring his campmate's eyes, wide from horror. "For all intents and purposes, I am a father first and foremost. So, one boy more does not make a difference..."

Severus slumped to the ground, pulling his hair out and making some muffled noises that were piteous and disgusted at the same time, as he could not bear listening to Lucius's enthusiastic discussion with the Headmaster.

ss SS ss

The evening of the same day, Severus was making the second mud-hut's roof, quietly damning to hell Lucius, Albus, Potter, the Dark Lord, the Forbidden Forest, the Western Paradise and the lower world all the same, as his treacherous friend was busy criticizing his endeavours for aesthetic defects. The phoenix chose that very moment to come in blazing flames from the sky and to drop on the grass a number of deliveries: one Thunderbolt, one school trunk, one owl's cage and one Potter Jr. A snow-white owl came all by herself and landed gracefully on the pile.

For several blissful moments, the clearing was silent. After that, Potter got out from under his baggage and started screaming at Dumbledore who had just assumed his normal appearance.

Severus, going sulkier every minute, finished the roof and went into the hut to make a plank-bed for Potter. Lucius sat down on a small grass mound nearby and just watched the show.

"It seems to me that you are wasting your precious time, Professor Dumbledore," he said nonchalantly fifteen minutes later. "I don't think you will hear anything new from now on."

The Potter boy was speechless with indignation. Dumbledore, however, smiled.

"Well then, I leave the boy in your capable hands, Lucius. And now, alas, I have to... well, fly away."

The next moment, the blazing phoenix flied up and disappeared into the dark-blue dusk. Potter followed him with his eyes, gaping like a fish on a shore.

"All right, Mr. Potter, let me introduce you to the pleasures of the bivouac life," Lucius announced in an amiable tone of a worldly gentleman. "It would be interesting to know if you can make yourself useful in the circumstances."

Dumbfounded Potter, looking lost, followed him unquestionably.

ss SS ss

At dinner, Lucius had a lot of fun watching his unwilling cohabitants performing a very emotional pantomime. Somehow, Severus and Potter managed to pull some quite unbelievable faces at each other, all the while eating their spaghetti Bolognese with relish. The result would certainly give satisfaction to anyone loving their bread and circuses at the same time, thought Lucius.

The repast was almost over when a flaming bird came down from the skies again, looking quite impressive in the darkness. The phoenix dropped another young man with his baggage on the grass, this time a blond one.

Everybody went silent. Then Severus very slowly put his bowl aside and drew himself up to his full height, looking murderous.

"What does this mean, Albus?" His voice was sharp enough to slice dragon scales. "Does this place look like nursery to you?"

"I cannot possibly ignore a student who needs help," Dumbledore answered with dignity, despite looking slightly embarrassed. "Nobody can find you here. And I absolutely believe in your abilities to defend the children and therefore our future..."

Draco, looking dismal, got out from under his things, cautiously approached the merrily burning campfire and sat on an unclaimed piece of log.

Potter, looking as dismal, turned to Lucius.

"I hope you have more spaghetti," he said sulkily, "because I surely won't share mine."