7. A Bait for a Trap

Have you not tethered a young kid under a tree,
lain above it with your rifle, and waited
for the bait to bring up your tiger?
~ Arthur Conan Doyle

"What does that Lord of ours take me for?" Snape asked indignantly. Keeping his bowl of porridge close to his chest, he was wildly waving his spoon around in agitation. "Does he take me for a fool?" He knocked with his spoon on his forehead, but as the former was made from aluminium, he got no dramatic sound to illustrate the point. "Me, for a fool!"

Harry tried very valiantly not to giggle, but his efforts were in vain. This time the regular morning show 'Snape reports on the Dark Lord' was even more spectacular than usual. Draco did not even try to look considerate. He was laughing so hard that he fell from his log into the grass and was now rolling there.

"Stop fussing, Severus," Narcissa rebuked the Potions master. "Just sit somewhere, calm yourself and explain. What does he want from you this time? And you should eat your breakfast while it is still hot."

"Our dear Lord is..." Severus went silent, sitting down and taking a spoonful at last. As Narcissa insisted that she should take care of "her dear boys" herself, the porridge was slightly burnt, but Severus courageously gulped it down and continued, "So, the Dark Lord demanded I got him a cabriolet for Potter's birthday."

For a moment, there was a surprised silence in the camp.

"Voldemort wants a cabriolet for my birthday?" Harry asked in a shock. "Has he lost his mind?!"

"To do that he should have had something to lose in the first place," Lucius smirked. "This is too much even for him, though. Did he demand a white Thestral thereto?"

Now Harry looked at Malfoy Sr. in surprise. After the last couple of days, he got more or less used to the man's peculiar views on everything and to his seeming levity, but usually his jokes were not that abstract.

"Since when Thestrals are necessary for a cabriolet?" asked Harry.

"Well, Thestrals are not necessary, really. Abraxans are even harder to get, though," Lucius answered in contemplative tone. "Aethonians look too plebeian. And Granians bite quite badly. Most unpleasant."

"Potter, you nitwit, that was an oxymoron," Draco snorted. "Like, you know — black snow, white Thestral... Basically, you just need a horse, that's all."

"That is not an oxymoron, that's a catachresis," corrected Narcissa.

Snape who was trying to get himself a mug of hot coffee almost got it all over himself, but made no comments.

"And how are you going to attach a horse to a car?" Harry asked snidely. As he always did at school, he simply ignored all the obscurities and asked about the thing he was interested in.

"To a car? What for?" Lucius also seemed sincerely surprised.

"It seems to me that you are talking of different things," Snape said slyly. As soon as he became a part of the audience instead of the show participant, he calmed immediately, regaining his usual spirits. "Luce, could you explain in details, please?"

Malfoy Sr. glanced at him suspiciously.

"I can't believe you haven't seen a cabriolet," he said.

"I have seen everything," Snape smirked. "Potter, however, seems to hear for the first time in his life that a cabriolet is a specific kind of a trap."

"A kind of what?" Harry asked in confusion.

"A trap, you dolt. A two-wheeled carriage," Draco interfered and was immediately rewarded by his mother's tender cuff on his nape.

"Stop bickering, boys," she admonished. "What it was that you were talking about, Harry?"

"Cabriolet is an open car," Harry explained loftily, still a bit offended.

"What would the Dark Lord need such a thing for?" Draco asked, wide-eyed.

"And what does that have to do with my birthday?" added Harry.

Everybody turned to Snape.

"The Dark Lord is not exactly in the habit of explaining his orders," the Potions master made a face. "Fortunately, just after I left, he started to scream at Pettigrew in such a voice that now half the world knows of his secret plans. The problem is that this does not make them more intelligible. As far as I could understand, on the 31st of July he wishes to drive a cabriolet on a Diagon Alley and make a speech. At the same time, he also wishes to impress the public with his incomparable beauty, but that is much easier to achieve, thank Merlin. Glamour charms are not that difficult. It's the cabriolet that bothers me. And the fact that it's but three days until the 31st."

Everybody exchanged looks, trying to digest the information.

"And you wanted me to serve this lunatic, Dad?" Draco demanded at last. "Were you temporarily crazy?"

"It seems to run in the family," Harry mumbled, not being able to help himself. The next moment Narcissa cuffed him slightly too.

"Who does not let bygones be bygones will wash the cooking pot," she smiled sweetly.

ss SS ss

By the time when the phoenix (that is, Albus Dumbledore) came for his usual visit that evening, the problem still stayed unsolved. Nobody of the camp dwellers possessed a car, and so nobody had any idea whatsoever how to get one. As soon as Dumbledore was brought up to date, he got himself a mug of hot tea, put a lemon drop into his mouth and became lost in thought.

"Hmm, that's a challenge," he murmured. "Maybe Arthur could help..."

Snape suddenly straightened.

"Albus, you are a genius. Potter, what have you done with that flying junk of Arthur's?"

Harry stared at his Potions professor for a couple of moments, and then he got it.

"You mean, with Mr. Weasley's Ford Anglia?" Remembering the whole mess they got into that time, he reddened a bit. "It's here... in the forest, I mean... running wild, I guess."

"Running wild?" Snape raised an eyebrow.

"Well, he turned alive here somehow," Harry got even more embarrassed. "He saved us from the Acromantulas later that year."

"Perfect," said Lucius. "Tonight you should go and catch that ridiculous thing."

"I should?" Harry bristled. "Why me? And, by the way, Ford Anglia is not a cabriolet. It is not even a convertible, its top is fixed."

"It's you who let it run wild," Lucius retorted. "So it is you who must catch it. And we can always cut the top off."

"As if it would allow that! It is alive!" Harry crossed his arms on his chest. "Anyways, I am not going anywhere alone. Do you know where that car has gone? It's the darkest part of the Forest. Merlin only knows what lives there!"

"Calm yourself, my boy, nobody's letting you go anywhere alone," Dumbledore promised and traded a look with Snape.

"Yes, that's what I thought," the Potions master nodded gloomily. "I am going with you, Potter, if that's a consolation. However, I need a good rope, a sock and Lucius."

"Whatever for?" Malfoy Senior asked suspiciously.

"For security," Snape answered vaguely. "Go get ready. And don't forget your ridiculous cloak, Potter. We depart at half past eleven precisely."

ss SS ss

"M-m-m-m! M-m m-m-m!" Harry shouted in outrage through the thick sock in his mouth, vainly trying to get rid of the rope that bound him tightly to the tree. "M-m m-m-m m-m!"

"Don't be silly, Potter," said Snape who was sitting in the same tree under the invisible cloak. "It is quite gracious from my part. I could use a dirty sock."

This statement provoked a new series of protestations under the tree.

"Who else could I use as a bait? Would you propose using Lucius?"

Hearing this, Malfoy, who was hiding under the same cloak, just snorted derisively.

"Anyway, keep making as much noise as possible, Potter," Snape continued. "The sooner your shrieks attract the Acromantulas, the faster we achieve our idiotic goal."

"May I remind you that it was you who came up with this plan?" Lucius smirked.

"If the goal is idiotic by its very nature, it does not matter who came up with the plan," Snape replied calmly. "Stick to business."

Very soon indeed, gigantic shadows appeared in the darkness under the trees. Harry felt his hair stand on end; he stopped making any sounds and tried not to attract attention to himself. The shadows came closer.

"Don't you think that this time you went too far, Sev?" Lucius asked quietly.

"Alright, three more minutes, and we untie him," Snape answered grudgingly.

Three more minutes, and there won't be anybody to untie, Harry thought darkly.

"Three more minutes, and you will untie him yourself," Lucius warned, "because in two minutes I Disapparate."

Fortunately, in that very moment, just as any good horror movie demands, a car engine roared in the bushes, and the darkness was dispelled by automobile headlights. The smaller Acromantulas scattered immediately, and even the big spiders pulled back a bit, obviously already acquainted with the bellicose spawn of American car industry. Its lights flaring menacingly, the Ford Anglia stopped in front of Harry and stared, as if asking a question.

"M-m-m!" Harry said gratefully.

"Stupefy!" Snape said from the tree, and the car stopped moving with a hurt expression frozen on its front. The spiders moved forward again, and Harry braced himself for the worst, but the next moment he was freed and pulled into the car. As soon as the doors closed with a bang, he caught hold of the person nearest to him and blacked out.

ss SS ss

Meanwhile in the camp Albus paced by the fire, getting more and more worried as the time passed. Narcissa tried to calm him down, pouring him fresh tea.

"They should be here long ago," the Headmaster muttered. "What if something happened?"

"What could possibly happen?" Narcissa asked, carefully hiding her own worry. "They will get back soon. Luce always returns before breakfast at the latest. He promised me that at our wedding."

"Does he really?" Albus inquired.

"Yes, he does. Except for his time in Azkaban, of course."

Then they heard the purring of the engine at last, and a battered, but proud Ford Anglia came to the clearing from the bushes. A yard and a half of a spider's leg stuck out of its trunk, obviously torn off in a battle.

"You see, I was right," Narcissa smiled.

Snape who was driving, opened the door and got out of the car.

"Albus, this crazy tin can has a half-tank of Sleeping Draught, so it must be out of it for the next twenty four hours at least, but I would still keep an eye on it, if I were you," he said. "As to me, I am going to bed. Could somebody please shake awake these two drunkards in the back seat? They finished all my reserve stock of Firewhiskey, all the while criticizing my driving habits. Next time they are on their own, I swear."

By the door of his hut he stopped and took something out of his pocket. It looked like a small wet rag. The Potions master hung the rag on the nail sticking out of the doorjamb and added, "By the way, I will be grateful if you return this to Draco later."

Five minutes later Albus and Narcissa heard Malfoy Jr. shouting in the boys' hut.

"Potter! What did you steal my sock for? It was my only clean pair!"