Chapter 23
"Do you want to lie down?" Anya addressed Taylor a little while later. They had stood in silence next to the pyre which was still burning; both of them subtly watching Lexa and Clarke interact, too far away to hear the exact words which were passing between the two leaders.
Taylor knew the words though as she had watched this particular scene a few times in the show. It had been sort of the first occurrence of Lexa at the very moment admitting and also weirdly denying having feelings.
Now that she thought of the possibility of herself being with Lexa and Anya Taylor internally wondered if the commander would her perceive her feelings as weakness as well. Or were they even feelings involved?
Taylor shook her head at Anya's question. She did not know how long it would take until the feast after the ceremonial burning of the dead bodies would start, but she knew that she definitely wanted to be there and witness the moment. She still wondered if she could somehow prevent Raven from being harmed. Would it be a good idea to tip Lexa off directly that it the culprit would be Gustus?
She did not really doubt that Lexa would believe her; the commander had been accepting of what she had revealed about the future before after all. She was uncertain though if the beginning of the punishment of Raven was needed for Skykru to witness or not and the danger that it may be important was too high for Taylor to try and spare Raven from the additional pain.
"Are you sure you are feeling well?" Anya probed and her voice was unmistakeably tainted with worry.
Taylor looked up at the general, narrowing her eyes at the older woman. She actually hated being repeatedly questioned in such a fashion. She of course understood though that the general was not trying to command her around to anger her, but was genuinely worried for her wellbeing. She sighed under her breath, softening her features again forcefully before she insisted "I am fine, Anya, please stop worrying. The wound is not giving me any trouble today".
Anya mutely met the blonde doctor's gaze for a while as if she wanted to assess for herself that Taylor was indeed speaking true, before she slightly inclined her head in simple acceptance.
"How long will it be until the feast begins?" Taylor asked the general lowly under her breath a few moments later. She had always liked the crackling sounds a burning campfire made, but now that she was aware of the fact that human corpses were being burned in front of her – and she still could not fully forget the fact that she had failed to save them from their deaths – Taylor just wanted to get away from it as soon as possible.
Anya furrowed her brows slightly, sensing the underlying discomfort in the simple question "It will take a while. The feast will not begin before the fire starts to die down" she explained.
Taylor huffed under her breath. In the show everything had seemed to happen so immensely quickly. Of course, the show had left out a lot otherwise it probably would have been the most boring thing ever, but still, she was starting to get impatient with all the waiting.
The obviously frustrated huff from Taylor pulled Anya's lips into an amused smile "Patience does not seem to be one of your strengths, Yssa" the general commented with the hint of a tease ringing within her tone, trying to lighten the otherwise rather tense mood.
Taylor frowned at being called out like that. Her first instinctive reaction would have been sticking out her tongue at Anya; thankfully she was controlled enough to restrict that reaction to a mere annoyed frown. She indeed had always hated waiting of any kind with a passion, preferring extremely busy days over even an hour of nothing to do on any day.
She huffed when Anya's amusement only seemed to increase at her annoyed reaction and indeed looked back towards the fire, choosing to ignore the general standing beside her in the meantime.
When Lexa left Clarke's side a while later, the commander's features gave away nothing of what she may be feeling. Lexa had seen the deep pain of loss within the other leader's blue eyes and she knew how dangerous it was as a leader to uphold her functions if she was guided by feelings. Telling Clarke about Costia had been a rather unconventional decision, but it had felt right in that moment. Now though, she felt pulled back towards Taylor.
Her sudden anger at the realisation of both, her and Anya, being attracted to the blonde doctor had ebbed away by now. The reminder of Costia though made her cautious. Lexa was not sure if she could protect Taylor from finding such a fate as well. Being with her as the commander was dangerous to Taylor and Lexa was not sure if she was willing to paint a target on the doctor's back like that.
Walking around the still burning pyre and seeing Anya standing with Taylor made Lexa pause for a moment. She could imagine stepping back and simply ignoring her clear attraction to the blonde doctor and letting her be with Anya instead. She knew of course how good of a woman the general was, the doctor would be taken good care of. But still, even the thought of choosing that option soured Lexa's stomach and left a foul taste in her mouth.
She also was not blind to Taylor's previous reaction. The blonde woman had been tense as well during their journey and she was most likely offended now that Lexa had remained resolutely silent.
As well as she could imagine the possibility of abandoning all her possible feelings for Taylor, Lexa also easily picture herself giving in. It would be so easy to fall for the blonde doctor. If she was honest with herself, she internally had to admit that it already had begun.
She knew all too well how her flamekeeper would react. Lexa was sure the man was secretly glad that her last personal connection had died with Costia.
Lexa sighed under her breath, debating the option to just turn around and let Anya and Taylor be with each other for now. She could easily return to Clarke's side and simply keep the blonde leader company. The other leader was still standing at the burning pyre forlornly.
She had seen earlier how Anya had embraced Taylor, obviously comforting the doctor for some reason. She had been too far away to listen to the words passed between them. Lexa now was eager to see for herself that the blonde doctor was well.
The fact that Abby had now stepped over to her daughter and was obviously trying to comfort her, sealed Lexa's decision.
Lexa felt slightly guilty at the almost shy smile settling onto Taylor's features once the blonde doctor finally noticed her approaching. She also did not miss the subtle exchange of gazes between the two other women, initiated by Taylor.
"There will be a feast to celebrate the new alliance between Trikru and Skykru once the pyre has burnt down" Lexa proclaimed in a neutral tone, trying to keep her expression at least remotely friendly "If you do not prefer to rest, you are welcome to attend as well, Yssa".
Taylor's smile got a little more pronounced at the offer and the blonde woman nodded in agreement, immediately denying that she definitely did not need further rest now.
Lexa allowed herself a real smile as well, amused by the determination ringing within the blonde's tone, as if she definitely would not admit to a physical weakness now. Her expression turned serious only a moment later. If they indeed were to entertain the idea of something between them, Taylor should be aware of what happened to Costia. She would not blindly lead the blonde woman into danger after all.
"There is something that you need to know …" Lexa begun in a low tone, stepping slightly closer to Taylor and making sure no one would be able to overhear their words now "… before you can make a decision".
Taylor furrowed her brows in confusion. She honestly was clueless as to what decision Lexa may be referring to now. She could only guess that the leader's words were purposefully vague; they were not alone here. So, she just inclined her head as a signal for the commander to continue.
Lexa's green eyes connected with Taylor's grey ones and for a moment Taylor could spot the deep shadow of the grief still lingering within their depths.
Taylor's throat felt clogged by a slight lump, as she could now guess what Lexa intended to tell to her. The jealousy which had clouded her mind earlier completely forgotten, she instinctively reached out and connected their hands "You wanna tell me about Costia, right?" she asked the brunette in nothing but a hushed whisper.
The widening of Lexa's eyes showed her puzzlement at Taylor's insight. How could she have known about this?
"I know what you have told to Clarke" Taylor explained in a soft tone, keeping it as low as possible and letting go of the commander's hands again.
"So, that was supposed to happen?" Lexa questioned, quickly having regained her composure. She had already wondered what Anya's survival may change, but so far, Taylor had not told them of anything which had changed from the possible future she knew.
Before Taylor could do more than give a nod of confirmation, Lexa's expression turned a weird mixture of hope and despair "You know the possible danger then…" the commander commented in a fleeting tone, letting her words trail of as she lowered her eyes.
Taylor needed a short moment before she understood the implication of Lexa's words. One part of her rejoiced at the clear confirmation that Lexa was thinking about something romantically between them, while another part was worried. She honestly had not even contemplated what being with the commander could mean.
Of course, Costia's brutal death and also the way in which Titus had reacted to the romance between Clarke and Lexa in the show, should have already tipped her off towards the luring danger.
Taylor suddenly felt Anya's hand being placed on the small of her back again and when she looked back into Lexa's green eyes, which if she was not mistaken showed a starting hopelessness, she pushed such worries away. She reached out again towards Lexa and although she kept her tone low, it was steady and her grey eyes shown with determination as she said "I trust both of you, Lexa".
"I do not know if I can protect you better than…" Taylor did not let Lexa finish her words and instead interrupted the commander.
She shook her head "Neither of us can know that, but that does not matter" Taylor emphasised. She understood the possible danger, but if she had interpreted Skykru's interest at her the right way, Taylor knew that she already was in danger anyway, no matter if they were to add a romantic relationship into the mix.
She was fairly certain that the grounders would think in a similar fashion. It would be obvious to anyone that she was important to Lexa for some reason; the commander was already keeping her close. Taylor knew that Lexa theoretically could send her away from her side to have her better protected, but that would also null what she saw as her own purpose here now. If she was not by Lexa's side, she could impossibly warn her about anything which would happen.
No, she needed to stay close to the commander.
Lexa had raised a brow at the blonde woman, but she seemed to let the matter rest for now. "We shall speak about this again at a later point" she closed the matter only a few seconds later with finality colouring her tone.
Taylor nodded again in agreement, turning back towards the fire. She was slightly surprised to note that the pyre seemed to have almost burnt down.
"The feast can begin soon" Lexa assessed as well, following Taylor's gaze.
Taylor had to admit that the room which was prepared for the feast looked great in a weird way. The tiles from the old world were broken in places and definitely dirty as well, but the offers of different foods were grand and impressive.
Lexa had chosen to place Taylor on one side of her, while Anya sat on Taylor's other side.
Taylor was apprehensive of what she knew would happen now. She was drumming her fingers on her legs nervously and she knew both, Lexa and Anya, had noticed her sudden restlessness.
Lexa could not really pay it any mind though as the Skykru members were led into the room in that moment and she had to officially open the feast.
Taylor suddenly calmed once Markus pulled out the bottle of alcohol.
For a moment she considered the possibility of just exchanging her own cup with Lexa's. It seemed though that Anya had seen the sudden twitch of one of her hands and she felt the general placing one hand on one of her legs. When she looked over to Anya, she strongly shook her head at Taylor.
So, Taylor watched the scene unfold. The relieve which had been so clear on all of the members of Skykru turned to almost comical horror once Gustus collapsed sputtering and coughing.
Lexa stood up from her chair abruptly, green eyes blazing angrily at Clarke, once Indra threw in the accusation of poison.
Surprisingly to Taylor, the commander first made sure that she was alright; pushing her beside her own body once Taylor had gotten to her own feet.
Two warriors helped Gustus out of the room, while other warriors had already raised their weapons at each and every Skykru member. In Taylor's eyes the measurement was rather useless; Skyru had given up all their weapons after all.
Lexa heatedly exchanged a few words with Clarke, accusing the blonde of wishing for her death as well, before she loudly proclaimed that no Skykru person was allowed to leave the room.
Taylor followed Lexa and Anya out of the room only a moment later, her stomach coiled with the tension of what was happening. She knew that Gustus was not in danger; he would be fine from the poison.
Lexa marched ahead quickly, intent on finding a healer and hearing about her guard's condition. The commander was visibly relieved to hear that the healer was confident to have the right antidote at hand.
Taylor slightly hung back with Anya. She knew that the bottle of poison would have been found on Raven by now and indeed one warrior who had been supposed to search Skykru again, hurried from the room behind them and towards the commander, quickly telling them what had happened.
It did not take Lexa long to demand Raven to be brought out for her execution. The commander had looked over to her only for a little moment and the question burning within her green eyes if this was supposed to happen was rather obvious.
Taylor did not really know how to react. It was obvious that the commander was seething that someone had tried so bluntly to poison her.
She shuddered when Raven was pulled forcefully out of the room a little while later. The Skykru mechanic was pale and the fear within her eyes was deep.
Taylor winced with each of Raven's screams. It was Lexa herself who had placed the first few cuts.
Anya must have sensed her inner urging to step forward and stop the punishment and the general had wound an arm around her hip, physically holding her in place and whispering "Do not interfere" with force into her ear.
Taylor let her shoulders drop and she nodded. She knew that it would not take long now for Bellamy and Clarke to call out Gustus as the real culprit.
The burly guard had just returned a few moments ago, still a little pale, but otherwise fine, when Clarke already charged towards Lexa, demanding the bottle of alcohol from Gustus.
Taylor could see the utter betrayal setting onto Lexa's features once Gustus finally admitted that he had put the poison in the cup to save her from the alliance. She wished that she could just go over to the brunette and comfort her, but Anya was still holding onto her body.
In contrast to Raven, who had screamed loudly and shrilly at each cut, Gustus did not utter a single word as the blade cut into his body over and over again.
Thankfully, Taylor was not asked to place a cut on the burly guard and she felt her heart sink for the young leader once Lexa stepped forward to end Gustus' life.
"Stay strong" Gustus uttered with his last breath, showing again his misled deep loyalty and affection for the commander as his leader's sword pierced clear through his heart.
Lexa stormed away from the side of the execution without Anya and Taylor, obviously needing to get away before she would lose her façade so openly.
Anya finally let go of Taylor and she let the blonde doctor follow behind her former second alone. She would stay behind and keep Skykru in check.
Taylor neared the tent which was allotted to the commander cautiously and with sympathy burning hotly through her veins. She could not fully imagine what this just had cost Lexa personally.
She hovered in front of the tent for a moment. Would her company even be welcomed now?
She did enter the tent quickly though when she heard something being smashed inside.
Lexa seemed to have just turned over the table forcefully and Taylor was a little taken aback by her blazing green-eyed gaze.
"You knew!" Lexa proclaimed loudly and her voice was shook by grief "You knew this would happen! Why have you not said anything?!" the commander demanded to know hotly.
Taylor swallowed drily, feeling herself shrink faced with the enraged commander "Skykru needed to see this. Their acceptance and loyalty depended on it…" she let her words trail off with guilt.
Surprisingly to Taylor, Lexa's clear anger ebbed away within seconds, left behind was the clear grief, but there was also an understanding within her green eyes.
Cautiously Taylor stepped forward, reaching out and placing her hands on the commander's arms, inviting her into an embrace.
"I understand" Lexa breathed out in a powerless tone, indeed sinking into the offered embrace a moment later.
Taylor did not say anything else as she let her hands trail over Lexa's brunette mane, feeling the commander cry silently within her arms.
