Chapter 33

Travelling with a smaller group and without any kind of impending war was different.

Taylor was grateful that Lexa and Anya had obviously taken great care in choosing her horse for the journey. The animal was tame and gentle. It seemed to follow the other mounts with the Trikru warriors more than actually wating for any kind of order from Taylor.

She absolutely disliked though how the warriors who she was travelling with were treating her. It was unmistakable that Titus' account of what was being said about Taylor among the clans was true. Taylor had not heard them utter the name "Wanheda" yet, but it made sense that she would be given the title now.

Thanks to Taylor's actions at the Mountain, it now would not be Clarke who was sought after. The thought was heavy on Taylor's mind.

The grounders were looking at her with reverence within their gazes. Before the Mountain, the grounders had been merely curious, but after a simple few words from their commander, they had accepted Taylor's appearance without further question. It would be stupid to assume that even Lexa was powerful enough to settle the rumours now.

During the break they took, one warrior was so kind to assemble a small tent for Taylor, surely on Lexa's direct order. A small part of her was grateful, another acknowledged though that it would have been wiser to erupt the tent herself, now that the other warriors were still there to correct her if she constructed it incorrectly.

Taylor found it a little easier to breathe in the crisp air of the night and surrounded by the noises of the woods. Now that she was together with other warriors, she knew that there was no reason for her to fear the possible predators lurking in the shadows, but things would be different if she left and to fend for herself.

No one went hunting this time. Food had been packed for the night into their saddlebags, together with furs to sleep on.

Taylor knew that if she indeed decided to separate from the party travelling to Skykru, she would be better prepared than Clarke had been in the show.

She laid down in the small tent. She wondered how Clarke actually had done it. The blonde had not had any real survival training before separating from her people. Neither had she departed with any supplies.

While Anya had tried during the evening to convince Taylor to stay, Lexa had instead used their remaining time together to try and brief Taylor on how to best survive out in the wild.

Taylor remembered how Nia had wanted to strike a deal with Clarke, simply because the blonde Skykru girl had been known as "Wanheda" back then. She shuddered slightly, wondering what Nia might offer to her now in the future.

Suddenly Taylor could empathize just why the other blonde girl had chosen to leave her people in the show and instead seek out the wilderness on her own. She knew that she would be meeting Clarke once they arrived at Skykru. The blonde girl had also been very curious previously and Taylor wondered how the blonde would think of her now.

The night was restless for Taylor. When she tried closing her eyes, the memories of the Mountain returned vividly. What unsettled her the most was the smell of the bubbled wounds of the Mountain Men which she could not forget.

Taylor also wondered if some of the Mountain Men may have survived. She knew that Maya had been with Jasper and wearing a hazmat suit. Had the girl survived the ordeal?

Taylor's stomach churned nervously at that thought. In the show, Carl Emerson was the last Mountain Man and he gave the destruction code to Nia in revenge. She would understand it if Maya hated her for killing all of her people single-handedly.

In the morning, Taylor crawled out of the small tent as soon as she heard the first movements from the other warriors travelling with her. The sun had not even risen just yet and the air was cool against her skin. Taylor pulled her hair back from her face, binding it together at the nap of her neck with the leather tie Lexa had given her a while ago. She crossed her arms in front of her chest, rubbing at her arms to warm them with the friction.

It was not just the physical coldness which made her shiver. Last night, Taylor had dearly missed the warming comfort of Lexa's and Anya's presence to sooth her during the dark hours of the day. Taylor shook her head; she had left Polis with the decision to be on her own for a while. Now, she was not sure if being alone was indeed what she needed. It may be what she deserved though.

Taylor ate her breakfast in silence, staring at the small campfire which had been kept alive during the night in inner contemplation. She knew that if she wanted to separate from the group of warriors and seek out the wilderness alone, now would be the optimal time to do so. They would only need a few more hours to reach the Skykru settlement.

She did remember something which Lexa had said to her though.

The commander had tried to offer her help and consolation in her own special way. "The healers in Polis can always use experienced helping hands, Yssa". The offer had been tempting in a way, but Taylor had declined. She had not wanted to expose herself to more judging eyes. She wondered if Skykru could use her help as well.

She thought of Raven and her permanent problems with her leg. Taylor was relatively confident that with fitting equipment, she would be able to help the dark-haired mechanic.

Once the warriors had packed up their things, Taylor took a deep breath. She stood in front of her horse for another silent moment, before she hoisted herself up into the saddle. No, she would travel to Skykru with them.

Their welcome at Skyru was unexpected to Taylor.

The show had not contained any information about the relationship between the grounders and Skykru before Clarke returned after months of being alone in the wild. The only thing clear had been that their tentative cease fire had been upheld and that Indra and Kane had remained in contact.

Taylor had no idea how things would change, now that Lexa had not done the betrayal against these people. Could Skykru become a firm part of the coalition before Nia would set up her coup?

If that were to happen, then the whole coalition would have a chance to prepare for the meltdown of the old powerplants and the wave of radiation.

Taylor got of her horse tentatively in the middle of the Skykru settlement. Fields had been started to be built and the gates of the fence had been opened immediately without any of the warriors needing to say anything. Taylor was fairly certain that a grounder party would not have been invited inside this readily at this time of the show.

She tried to cling to the slightly comforting thought that her actions at the Mountain would help to safe others in the end. She knew that Clarke would have pulled the lever if she had not done so. So, also it was only a sliver of comfort, she had not caused additional deaths than which would have happened anyway.

Taylor shook her head slightly when she noticed herself spacing out and being lost in her thoughts.

She spotted Markus and Abby speaking to the leader of the group of warriors, handing over a scroll of parchment; a wax seal with the commander's signal in it pranked on the parchment.

Not far behind them, Taylor could see Clarke and Bellamy. She could also spot Monty and Harper. Taylor's heart skipped a beat when she saw Jasper standing together with Maya.

The dark-haired girl was looking right back at her. Obviously, Skykru had already given the girl a bone marrow treatment as the last surviving Mountain Man was standing there without a hazmat suit. Her skin was still extremely pale, but Taylor was sure this would change when the girl was exposed to the sun during the next summer. The sun had gotten weaker as winter was approaching slowly.

Taylor lowered her gaze quickly. She held onto her horse with one hand, feeling the animal's strong pulse echo through its skin beneath her fingertips. She did not wish to see the loathing in Maya's eyes and she highly doubted that the dark-haired girl would feel anything but hate for her. She felt her heart beat within her throat and she was starting to feel nauseous.

It was Clarke who finally stepped over to Taylor.

"Taylor, hello" the blonde Skykru girl said, keeping a respectful distance.

Taylor looked up quickly, meeting the blue-eyed gaze silently.

"Do you happen to know what was written in that letter?" the blonde wanted to know curiously.

Taylor frowned slightly. She was surprised by the question. She also had not really paid attention too much to what Lexa and Anya had done. Neither had she been interested in the coalition's politics. So, she indeed did not know the letter's exact contents. She only knew that it generally was an invite for Skykru to come to Polis.

She looked intently at the blue-eyed girl, searching for some form of assessment in her features. But she found none.

Taylor forced a kinder expression onto her face. She was fairly certain that her sudden paleness would give away how uncomfortable she felt though. "It is an invite to Polis to speak about politics" Taylor answered vaguely. She guessed that the leadership of Skykru was once again back in the hands of an older adult. She was uncertain though if Abby or Markus were chancellor now.

The thought of Skykru's chancellor made Taylor's stomach twist. She had not yet told Lexa about the people from Farm Station being within Nia's territory still. She did not wish to send a letter with such sensitive information though. So, Taylor hoped that things would remain calm until she felt ready to return to the capitol.

Clarke seemed slightly surprised to hear that, but she nodded. "Indra has already offered that TonDC could help in making Arkadia ready for the winter"

Taylor nodded her head in mute acknowledgement. She could remember how worried Skykru had been about winter and their lacking stock of food for example.

Internally, Taylor wondered she should stay so that Skykru would offer her to stay for a while. But she had not needed to worry.

"Are you going to stay here?" Clarke asked next once she turned her gaze away from her mother holding the commander's letter and returned to looking at Taylor.

"Sure" Taylor retorted immediately. She only hoped that Maya's presence would not be a problem. She offered that she could help in the medical bay of Arkadia, justifying her stay in a way. And mentioning that Raven's injury might be treatable with the right equipment.

"You have knowledge of medicine?" Clarke asked with a raised brow, clearly suspicious again.

Taylor bit her lip, wondering how she could answer Clarke without giving herself away. She did not really trust the blonde and she knew it would be stupid to entrust her with her true origin.

"I know many things" Taylor answered just vaguely again. Internally, she wondered if she had spent too much time with Lexa and Anya. She guessed that both of them might have given just this exact same answer.

Clarke seemed to sense that she would not get another answer right now and let the matter rest. Instead, she guided Taylor over to Markus and her mother, officially introducing the blonde doctor. Also, saying that Taylor wanted to work in the medical bay as well.

"You are of course welcome here, Taylor" Markus Kane concluded in a friendly tone "We hope that there will be peace with the grounders now" he added and his words carried a question.

Taylor could not really reassure him. She did not know what terms Lexa might be setting for Skykru to be given a place in the coalition, but she at least knew that the commander was planning to offer this.

Staying with Skykru was weird for Taylor. She was assigned a small room inside of the remnants of the Ark. She did try to spend as little time alone in it as possible. The room was cold and looking almost sterile, so, instead she tried to help where ever she could.

The medical bay did have much less equipment than she would have hoped for. She only remembered now that Abby had removed the bullet from Raven's back without anaesthesia, simply because they did not have any. Helping in the medical bay was more about some minor injuries than actual emergencies, so, Taylor had more than enough time to help in other functions as well.

If she kept busy, she barely thought about the Mountain. It was only at night or if she paused, that the memories returned.

Although no one was outright unfriendly to her, Taylor kept her distance to Maya who was always in close vicinity to Jasper. Whenever she spotted the dark-haired girl, she would instantly feel nauseous again, starting to shiver and stumble for words.

Also, she did not really understand it, but Clarke seemed to seek out her proximity for some reason.

Whenever she went into one of the public areas of Arkadia, the blonde seemed to pop up out of nowhere and started to try and talk to her for some feeble reason.

Taylor had been with Skykru for roughly two weeks now and she had worked out some kind of rhythm. She knew for example that Jasper and Maya would not go for breakfast before eight. So, she made sure to be there an hour before them and leave long before the two would show up.

During the previous night, Taylor had been plagued by nightmares. Beside the memories of the Mountain which haunted her mind, Taylor missed Lexa and Anya. She had only gotten real rest in the early hours of morning and thus, had overslept her "usual" hour for breakfast.

Taylor went into the eating area quickly, hoping that Maya and Jasper were not there just yet.

She let out a breath of relieve at not seeing the two of them there just yet. She kept her head down and quickly started to eat her small portion of lunch.

Taylor startled when suddenly someone cleared their throat just in front of her table. She looked up suddenly and promptly chocked on the bite she had just taken.

It was Maya standing opposite of her. The dark-haired girl seemed unsure as well, but a tentative smile was on her features.

"Can I sit here?" the girl asked in a tone ringing with kindness.

Taylor swallowed down her bite, still coughing a little, before she nodded, forcing her features to be as clear as possible. She did not know what to say though. There was an apology on the tip of her tongue and she felt her palms getting sweaty. But how could you apologise to someone for genocide?

So, they sat together in uncomfortable silence for a long while.

Taylor could see Jasper together with Bellamy and Clarke, obviously watching them and trying not appear as if they were spying on them.

It was Maya who broke the silence. "You do not need to avoid me, Taylor" the dark-haired girl said in a calm tone.

Taylor looked into the girl's brown eyes and all she could read in them was honesty, no sign of any animosity or hatred whatsoever. She knew that it had been obvious that she had been avoiding the girl to deny it now. She did not understand though why the girl was even speaking to her.

"You must be hating me" Taylor blurted out spontaneously.

Maya shook her head. Grief flashed over her features for a moment, before it was replaced with an understanding expression.

"I do not hate you, Taylor" Maya assured the blonde doctor in an honest tone "I understand that it happened in a war".

Taylor was honestly speechless. There was absolutely no trace that the girl was speaking anything but the truth.

"Okay" was all Taylor finally managed to retort in a weak tone, fumbling with the fork between her fingers uncertainly.

Maya gave the blonde woman a slight smile, before she finally got up, obviously wanting to finally join Jasper and the others as she had said what she wanted.

Taylor was left behind confused by what had just happened. The memory of Maya just speaking to her and telling her that she indeed had no hate for her, were battling within her mind with the Mountain Men dying from the air she had let inside the Mountain.

She did not notice how much she was shaking, until Clarke suddenly sat down in the chair oppositive of her and addressed her.

"You look very pale, Taylor, are you alright?" the blonde girl checked in a caring tone.

Taylor snapped out of her internal conflict. She nodded her head, standing up abruptly "Your mother is waiting for me in the medical bay" she brought out through clenched teeth. She tried to force her lips into the resemblance of a reassuring smile, but was sure that it was more a grimace than anything else. She did not wait for Clarke's response and quickly turned around to leave.

Taylor did her best to help in the medical bay, but she was not at it with her thoughts. Her fingers were still shaking slightly and the nausea had also not fully left.

When the day came to an end several hours later, Taylor still felt miserable. During dinner, she had seen Maya and Jasper in the eating area again. The dark-haired girl had even nodded to her in kind greeting.

Taylor had left again without taking a single bite from her plate. She wandered through the halls of the Ark with hurried steps. The more she thought about it, the clearer it became. She needed to leave. She also was not planning to tell Abby. The Skykru woman had been impressed with her medical knowledge and she would surely be missing her help.

She did not need more than a few moments to quickly gather together her belongings from the small room. She strode up and down the small room for a while, debating internally if she was making the right decision.

Taylor hesitated behind the door which she had kept ajar, listening for footsteps on the hall. She had no intention to speak with anyone before she left. She did not wish to have to explain why she needed to leave or that someone would try to change her mind on this.

The hall was clear when Taylor stepped out of the small room, closing the door behind herself softly. She did not know if Skykru would be searching for her, but if she was lucky, she would not be sought for before she was far away from Arkadia already. It was not clever to leave in the dark, but she wanted to spend the night outside and not once again in the small lonely room.

She was lucky and did not encounter anyone until she stepped out of the Ark. Dusk was just falling around them right now, so, there still were people outside. A group was sitting by a fire some distance from the entrance to the Ark.

Taylor pulled her coat tighter around herself, also, adding a hood over her bright blonde hair. She had seen others go out of the perimeter of the Ark at dusk before. So, she hoped that no one would think anything of it now.

She held her breath until she stepped past the fence and quickened her steps a little until she finally reached the outskirt of the forest around Arkadia.