Disclaimer: Characters be not mine. But .:rowr:. Milo!
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Rory packed up a bag of clothes while Jess was brewing another pot of coffee. She packed some makeup and pajamas just in case they stayed in Stars Hollow overnight. "I'll be out in a minute," she called out to the common room. She stared at her closet, figuring out what to bring. She assumed they'd stay the night, because the drive home would just be too tense.
What did he mean that Stars Hollow is his home? Rory confused herself by thinking. She was dreading the drive and the conversation. Jess was so serious. He really did want to know everything. Every single thing. She had to tell him about Dean. She had to tell him about Logan and their casual relationship. She had even more to say about Dean. So much had happened in the last two years. Would he talk first? She knew he wouldn't, he'd want to know about her first. In a few minutes she'd have to start the long story of the past.
Jess came over to her room with two travel mugs of coffee. "You ready?" Rory nodded and swung her bag over her shoulder. Leaving her laptop and responsibilities behind, they left her dorm to Jess's car. "Why the bag?"
"Just in case," she said and got in the car. "Your stuff is in here, right?"
"Yeah, I didn't exactly have an opportunity last night to bring in anything."
"I'm so sorry about that," she said, looking over at him. "I didn't expect him to be so mean…"
"So he's never hit you before?" Jess looked over to her for a bit and then focused on the road.
"No, never…."
"Maybe we should start when I left?" Jess suggested.
"Jess…How am I supposed to start this?"
"Just start talking? Or do you want me to ask you questions?"
"I'd rather just start talking. Why don't you just… uh… Can you not talk unless I ask? Let me know you're listening, but don't butt in? There so much that I know you're not going to like and I really don't want to argue right now."
"I promise," Jess said and raised his pinky up to her. He didn't look away from the road, but she knew what he meant. She grabbed his pinky with hers.
"You're great," Rory laughed and leaned back in the seat. "Where to start, where to start…"
"When I left?"
"When you went to New York after the accident? When you went to California? Or when you came back for you mom's wedding and asking me to run away with you?"
"Rory…"
"You promised!" Rory almost yelled. The tight confines of the car made her speech more vivid. "You know what happened after the accident. You didn't say goodbye so I missed my mom's graduation to go see you. I knew I liked you. I can't say now if I loved you yet. I was still with Dean and I acted like nothing had happened…until Sookie's wedding. You told me you were moving back. I knew it was because of me. You moved back to a town I thought you hated because of me. You should've just said you loved me."
"Rory. I know all this. I did love you. I was playing the revel without a cause, how was I supposed to say it?"
Rory sighed, "You really suck at this not talking thing. When did you get so vocal?"
"I'm not going to let you ramble to the point where I turn out to be the devil," he retorted.
"Fine, I'll start when you went to California. Answer me this: that was you on the phone at my graduation, wasn't it? You heard my speech?"
"It was more of a rant, but I heard it."
Rory ignored his comment, "And you didn't say anything because…?"
"Because I let you down. You were right. I could've done it better. I didn't say goodbye, again. But unfortunately Rory, you don't know what I was going through. I was confused, I wish I hadn't left. I didn't want to be like Jimmy but I felt that was all I could be. You were the only person that thought differently. When you're told something so many times, it's hard to change that image of yourself."
Rory leaned back in her seat, "Jess, I know. I know what you went through was touch. I would've been there for you, but you didn't give me a chance."
Jess nodded. "I know I didn't and I'm sorry. I guess I'll shut up now."
"Good timing, because I'm sorry too, but for what's coming up." Jess looked to her for a second before turning back to the road. He nodded. This is going to be so hard…
"You went to California; I went to Europe with my mom. When I came back, Dean was engaged. Everything was different. I went to Yale and I was alone. I had nobody there for me. I still had Lorelai, but I needed something else. Now I know I wish I had you. You were different from Dean. You read and knew about music and movies. We always had something to talk about, but we didn't always have to talk…" Rory took a breath and thought she heard Jess say something. "Jess?"
"We were perfect," he said louder. "I know that now. I've never met anyone else like you."
"Same here," she whispered.
"I'm sorry… I interrupted again. I have a feeling you're not done yet, you're not crying…I know you, you're probably going to cry," he said when he noticed the look of questioning on her face.
Rory shook her head. "We're almost there. I need you to not be driving when I tell you what comes next. What happened after you came to Yale," she paused, "And yes, there will be tears."
"Please don't cry," he said, and held her hand. "I'll talk until we can get out."
"I'll give you the same courtesy you gave me."
"So I don't get any either?"
"Just talk, Jess."
"I knew I was in the wrong when I came to Yale like that. I was pathetic and blinded by stupidity and love. California made me realize that I really loved you, that I needed you, and that I had to be with you. I came back for Mom's wedding... I got this book, from Luke actually. That book…"
"What book?"
"You Deserve Love," Jess said quietly.
"You didn't…" Rory said, stifling a laugh.
"Hey, don't mock it til you've tried it! It made me realize how stupid I had been, how I really did need you. That's why I came to you, to Yale. Living without you wasn't really living."
"That's sweet," she said and giggled. "You Deserve Love."
"You are so lucky we're around two minutes away."
Rory looked up and realized they were entering Stars Hollow. "Just one more question before we get out of the car."
"Shoot."
"Where'd you go when I said no?"
"New York."
"I thought so. I looked for you."
"I guess I wasn't ready to be found…"
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Awe, how cute? I'm sorry I didn't get the real Dean fiasco in this one. Once again, I felt that the entire conversation warranted its own chapter. But you gotta admit, there is a whole lot of information in this conversation. Thank you to everyone who so kindly reviewed. I'm trying to get a stockpile of chapters going so that I can update all the time without rushing, but it's turning out to be hard. You guys are just so greedy! JK! I love posting, I can't horde all this goodness for myself.
I'm looking for at least 5 morereviews before I post the next chapter. I may not hold to that, but I'm going to try! Review, and I love you!
