Chapter 9: What's your greatest fear?


Kat slept pretty well until she heard a knock on her door, she got up slowly to find a scared first year on the verge of crying. She told her there was boggart in the dorms, flying around and scaring people. Kat quickly grabbed her wand and sent the first year back to her dorm, she left her own dorm and started walking down every hallway trying to find the boggart, just hoping it hadn't went into anyone's rooms.

Alex woke up scared when he heard thunder, he hated loud noises, he climbed out of bed quickly, he stands in the middle of the room thinking where to go, if he went with Severus, he would surely send him back here, and if he went with Kat, she would let him sleep with her, but Severus would kill him in the morning. He shakes his head and heads for the door when the boggart stood in front of him. Alex falls to his knees on the floor when it transformed into his greatest fear, he covers his ears and begins to cry out loud -"Kat! Sev! Daddy!"-. His screams woke up his roommates, who also started screaming.

Kat's body came to a stop when she heard the screaming, the second she heard one of the screams she knew it was Alex. -"Please don't let the broggart be in his dorm."- She pleaded to herself right before apparating herself into Alex's dorm, appearing in the middle of the room. No one knew she had figured out how to apparate, not even their father knew, she had been trying to learn if for a year or two and just figured it out. She turned around and looked down to see Alex kneeling on the floor with his hands over his ears.

-"Kat! Sev! Daddy!"-. Alex's body trembled and he shuddered. -'Please go away, please go away'- He thought. Alex's greatest fear was that of being left alone, in front of him were the corpses of his siblings and his father. He sobbed and screamed. He was completely terrified, and not only by the corpses in front of him but also by the thunder that sounded outside

Alex has always been able to see and feel things that other people don't, but even he didn't realize that. Alex could see people's magic. Alex knew which beings were magical and which were not, like knowing the emotions felt by his siblings and father through their magic, unless they hid their emotions, which they usually did. But at the same time their magics generated different sensations for him, which were pleasant for him, but also made him more sensitive and susceptible to very intense and overwhelming situations for him, whether good or bad. Being born this way, he always thought that seeing the magic of magical beings was something normal as well as feel his family's emotions, neither his father nor siblings knew it, he did not keep it a secret, but he believed that everyone could see and feel the same as he did.

His fear of abandonment stems from that sensitivity, the year his father became the headmaster of Hogwarts, he never came to visit them, which was odd, since as long as he could remember his father always came home every night after work, but that year he didn't, and not only that, his father's magic seemed very unstable and somewhat frightening during that summer, which also during that summer he spent very little time with them. This led Alex to believe that his father wanted to abandon them, he never knew why he had come to that conclusion, he just thought it. This caused him to become more attached to his siblings, fearing that they would do the same someday. But when his father came back, Alex was very relieved and happy, but his magic still seemed unstable and was not as frightening as before, but it did cause Alex a lot of sadness and a feeling of uneasiness for some reason he did not know.

That night he had gone to sleep with his father for fear that he would leave again and discovered, as he peeked through the bathroom door, that his father's body was badly wounded and hearing his father say: -"I almost died there"- Terrified him, and he never said anything about it, ever. But from that night on, he associated abandonment with death. Alex did not understand very well those feelings he felt at that moment, but he learned to live with them, and at the same time trying to convince himself that his siblings and his father would neither abandon him nor die, that they would stay by his side forever, but his logic and reasoning had lost strength when he saw the three corpses in front of him.

-"Alex, I'm right here!"- Kat said as she placed her hand on his back to try and calm him down, she turned to look at what he was screaming at and froze. She was shocked to see her own dead body laying in front of her. Eventually, she forced herself to move and shouted -"Riddikulus."-

Alex looked up to see Kat by his side; Alex sobbed louder and threw himself against Kat's neck. He put his arms around her neck as he cried. -"Waahh, don't leave me, don't die, I want Sev, I want daddy, they can't be dead, Waahh"- He said, completely forgetting that it was a boggart. He clung to Kat tightly, fearing she would disappear at any moment.

-"Alex, look"- Kat said as she forced him to look as the corpses turning into a kitten sitting on the floor. -"It's fake, you're fine now."- She said as she put her wand away.

Alex took deep breaths trying to calm down, Kat's magic helped him calm down faster, sobbing and sniffing he looked at the kitten and remembered it was a boggart, he turned his head to put it on Kat's neck -"I still want Sev and daddy, can I go see them?"- He said in a very low tone of voice, his body trembled and bounced with each thunder. -"Please"-

-"Fine, but I have to talk to dad while we're there."- Kat says, removing Alex's arms from her neck, then stood up and picked up the kitten, she checked on his roommates before leaving the dorm. -"Go to Severus."- She said as she walked in the direction of his dorm.

Alex got up from the floor before walking out of the dorm behind Kat. As Kat walked toward Severus' dorm, he nodded and ran down the hall. When he got in front of Severus' dorm, he knocked on the door, not too hard. -"Sev, Sev"-

Severus was sleeping peacefully until he heard the door and someone calling him. He got up grunting and opened the door, he looked down to see Alex with his face red and full of tears -"Uh, what are you doing..."- Alex didn't let Severus finish speaking, as he hugged him by the waist -"Hey, what's wrong with you now?"- He said confused as he looked at Alex.

-"You were dead"- Alex said with his face against Severus' chest.

Severus rolls his eyes. -"Did you have a nightmare?"-

Kat walked down the hallway towards Severus's dorm after Alex, holding the kitten and making sure that it didn't turn back into something bad.

Severus looks up, then raises an eyebrow and sees Kat with a kitten. -"Why do you have a kitten?"- He looked back at Alex, who wouldn't let go; he sighed heavily and picked Alex up.

Alex immediately threw himself against Severus' neck, wrapping his arms around his neck, his legs around his waist and putting his face against his neck.

Severus was confused at Alex's actions, he knew Alex always sought comfort after a nightmare, but this was odd even for him. -"Did I miss something? He's not overreacting much for a nightmare"- He says as he settles Alex on his hips.

-"There was a boggart in the dorms, when I went to find it I heard Alex screaming. I apparated into his dorm and found the boggart."- Kat motioned towards the kitten -"This is the boggart."- She said as she looked at Alex pretty much attached to Severus's neck.

Severus nods and sighs -"And I guess his boggart has something to do with me being dead, that's why I have him clinging to my neck like a spider monkey"- He looks down at Alex but then looks at Kat with a raised eyebrow. -"Wait a second, you said apparated, how did you apparated into his dorm?"-

-"It was all of us dead."- Kat said looking down at the kitten to check on it -"I just did, it wasn't that hard."- She said with a shrug as she pet the cat softly.

Severus nods. -"I'll ask you about that later"- He smirks -"Hey, Alex you must be very scared, you don't want to hug your sister too"- He says in a low tone and moves closer to Kat.

Alex turns his head to look at Kat. He really wanted to feel Kat's magic a little more and when Severus pulls him close to her; he throws himself on her and hugs her just like he did with Severus a moment ago.

Severus laughs and holds the kitten, so Kat won't drop it.

-"No you won't."- Kat said as Alex jumped on her -"No, he already did this to me."- She sighed as she pried him off of her and then took the kitten back. -"We're going to dad's office; watch the dorms while we're gone."- She said with a yawn.

Alex pouted a little when he was on the floor, but didn't resist when Kat pried him off her neck.

Severus shrugs. -"Yes, I can do that"-

-"Thank you."- Kat said as she turned to walk out of his dorm. She waited in the hallway for Alex.

Alex looks at Kat and walks to her side after he walks out of Severus' room.

Kai was looking down at him as they walked.


As they walked, Alex covered his ears so as not to hear the thunder.

-"It's just thunder; it's not going to hurt you."- Kat said as they approached their father's office, knocking softly before entering.

Snape looks up to see Kat and Alex walk into his office. -"Katarina, Alexander, what are you doing here so late?"- He looked at Alex with a frown, thinking he had done something.

Alex's eyes watered as he took his hands off his ears and ran over to where his father was.-"Daddy! Daddy!"- Alex said before climbing onto his father's lap and throwing himself against his neck, he put his arms around his neck and his face against his neck.

Snape was surprised by Alex's actions and how he had called him. Alex only called him that when he was in trouble or scared. He looked at Kat with a raised eyebrow, waiting for an explanation.

Kat sighed as she pet the kittens head softly and walked to sit in one of the chairs. -"I know he's supposed to be asleep, but I allowed him to be up to see you and Severus."- She sighed, knowing that this would be a bit of a situation -"A first year came to my dorm and told me there was a boggart in the dorms, so I went to go find it, while I was looking I heard Alex and his roommates screaming. So I apparated into his dorm and found Alex freaking out, when I turned around the boggart was in his dorm."- She said motioning towards the kitten that she had wrapped up in her arms.

Snape takes a deep breath. -"Well, I guess I'll have to send someone to check that there are no more boggarts"- He looks at Alex for a moment before looking at his daughter. -"And I guess I can let him get out of bed just this time."- He sighs. -"Now, I can trust you to get rid of that boggart, right?"-

-"Yeah, I'll get rid of it now."- Kat said with a nod as she laughed softly -"Good luck with that, he's pretty traumatized by the whole situation."- She said referring to Alex who was literally attached to his neck. -"Would you like me to come back here when I'm done?"- She asked as she pets the kittens head.

Snape nods. -"Yes, when you're done you can come back for him, if I'm lucky he'll fall asleep, and you can take him back to his dorm, in the worst case he will have to sleep with me again, or with you tonight"- He sighs feeling Alex tighten his grip against his neck.

Alex sat on his father's lap as he put his legs around his hips without letting go of his neck.

Snape sighs again. -"May I know what the boggart transformed into so that he's about to strangle me with his arms?"- He exaggerated, Alex did not have that much strength, but he was very attached to his neck, unwilling to let go.

-"It was us."- Kat said with a sigh as she looked at Alex again not wanting to upset him, but she had to tell her father -"Well in a way…it was our corpses."- She nodded as she spoke it was pretty traumatizing for Alex to see that, but it definitely messed Kat up to, she wasn't expecting to see her own dead body laying in front of her.

Snape's eyes widened slightly when he heard his daughter; he looked down at Alex, whose body was still trembling slightly. He looked back at his daughter. -"I see, that explains why he's acting like this"- He sighs. He would have to think about how to deal with this, or Alex might not want to be separated from them for a while. -"I'll see what I can do to try to calm him down, and you are okay? I know that seeing your own corpse is not something pleasant"-

Alex yawned as he turned his head and rested it on his father's shoulder.

-"Well apparently I'm not responsible for him anymore so dealing with him is up to you and Sev."- Kat said as she turned to go get rid of the boggart, she shrugged when she heard her father's question -"I'll deal."-

Snape nods -"Okay, you can go, and yes, according to our deal between Severus and me, you are no longer responsible for Alexander, at least these three weeks, I will take care of him for the moment. Just come back when you're done"- He says before looking down and going back to work on his documents.

Alex glances at Kat as he yawns, trembling slightly when he sees her about to leave the office.

-"I'll be back in a half an hour at maximum, Alex."- Kat said as she saw him trembling and then turned and left the office and headed to the DADA classroom to deal with the boggart.


{Kat's POV}

Kat took a deep breath as she entered the DADA classroom to destroy the boggart, it would have to be turned back into her greatest fear before she could destroy it. She placed the kitten down far away from her and then pulled out her wand, she cast a spell at it, and it transformed into her greatest fear. Her father appeared, shouting at her angrily, and she froze, her biggest fear was always her father's disappointment and punishment. She quickly snapped herself out of the trance and cast another spell at the boggart, and it was destroyed.

Kat took a deep breath and sat down for a few minutes as she tried to calm herself down. Kat's fear comes from a very marked memory during her childhood. Her mother had abandoned them when she and her brothers were still very young, but she, being the oldest, was the one who had the most understanding of the situation, and even though her father had asked her to, she had already made the decision to take responsibility for her mother's duties, including taking care of her younger brothers.

From that moment on Kat felt a great resentment and hatred towards her mother for abandoning them, she remembers that day very well, her mother walking out the door of the house and also Severus' face full of tears, who was in front of the door that day. Although Alex continued to act completely normal after that day, she supposed he was too young to understand what was going on, but she and Sev were very affected by the events of that horrible day.

Because of those bad memories and all the changes that happened around her, Kat's fear arose, the fear of disappointing and defrauding her father. She doesn't want to become her mother, she is afraid of messing up the responsibilities that used to belong to her mother, but she had given them up.

After several minutes, once she thought she was calm enough to hide her reaction to the boggart, she got up and left the classroom, returning to her father's office.


{Alex and Snape's POV}

Alex sobs when Kat left -"Kat"- He said sadly.

Snape sighed -"She will be fine, she will be back in no time, you don't have to cry, what you saw was false, no one is dead and no one is going to die. Your siblings and I are and will be fine"-

Alex put his face against his father's neck again and sniffs. Although he felt safer feeling his father's magic, he still wanted to feel Kat's magic, it was his favorite magic.

Snape sighs again and knocks on the table, making a glass of milk appear, he takes it and gets up from the chair, and walks to sit on the couch. -"Here, calm down and drink this"-

Alex didn't move from where he was. His father's magic made him feels so secure that he didn't want to move and lose that security.

Snape sighed and before summoning a Potion for Dreamless Sleep, and poured it into the glass -"Come on, son"- He said rubbing Alex's back.

Alex let go of his father's neck and took his legs off his hips and straddled his father's lap.

Snape settled him so that he was sitting on his lap with his head resting on his chest.

Alex took the glass and drank the milk slowly. When he finished drinking it, he felt drowsy and fell asleep.

Snape took the glass away from Alex when he saw him start to close his eyes, got up and laid Alex down on the couch, and then sat back down at his desk to continue working.


Kat opened the office door and saw her brother sleeping soundly on the couch.

When Snape heard the door, he looked up. -"Katarina, did you get rid of the boggart?"-

-"Yes, it's gone."- Kat said as she walked into the room and sat down on the chair in from of his desk tiredly

-"Good job"- Snape takes a vial out of his robe -"Here, I want you to drink this once you get back to the dorm, I don't want you to be tried again in the morning, it's not a potion, but it will help you relax and sleep better."-

-"It's ok, I'll fall asleep right away I don't need anything."- Kat said as she leaned back into the chair.

Severus nods and puts the vial back in his robe.

-"Are you coming to my Quidditch match in 3 days or are you too busy?"- Kat knew he was busy, so she wasn't upset when he couldn't come.

Snape leaned back in his chair as he thought. -"Well, I can't promise you anything but as long as nothing unforeseen happens I will be able to finish all the work I have pending, and I will be free that day."-

Kat nodded as she yawned and got up from the seat -"Do you want me to take Alex back now?"- She asked as she glanced at the boy who was asleep.

Snape nods -"Yes, I gave him a sleeping potion, so he shouldn't have nightmares tonight but tell Severus to keep an eye on him at nights, in case he has nightmares and I will have to give him some more."- He hands her a handful of potions.

Kat nodded as she went over and picked up the small boy, wincing slightly as his body landed on one of her bruises.-"Goodnight, Father."- She said as she walked towards the door.

-"Good night, Katarina"- Snape said as he saw his daughter walk out the door.

Alex snuggled into Kat's arms as he murmured -"Kat, don't leave me, Sev, daddy"-. Kat's magic had woken him up a bit.

-"We already did this twice."-Kat said under her breath as he attached himself to her again -"I'm not leaving you; I'm bringing you to your dorm and if you need me just come to my dorm."- She said softly as she walked into the common room

Alex took a deep breath and smiled, -"I love you"- He muttered before falling into a deep sleep.

-"I love you too."- Kat whispered back as she placed him into his bed and covered him with a blanket.

Severus walks to Kat's room to see if she has returned, he passed Alex's dorm and saw her -"Hey, you came back "-He says from the door-

-"Yeah, why wouldn't I?"- Kat said with a yawn as she closed the door to Alex's dorm behind her. She handed Severus a bunch of potions for Alex from their father -"Those are from dad for you."-

Severus raised an eyebrow and then sighed, realizing that they were sleeping potions. -"One more thing to add to the list"- He keeps the potions in his pocket. -"I just wanted to tell you that after you left one first year came asking about the boggart and I said that you had already taken it out of here."-

-"Yeah it's gone."- Kat said with a sigh as she rubbed her face -"I have to do a full sweep of the dorms tomorrow because I don't feel like having this happen again, I don't want to have to purposefully make a boggart show my biggest fear just to get rid of it."- She said shaking her head just hoping there weren't anymore in the dorms

Severus bit his lip and took a deep breath. -"Do you want me to do it?"- He shrugs -'Why can't I keep my mouth shut'-. He thought- "After all tomorrow I have to spend the whole day here taking care of Alex, so I can check if there are more boggarts here"-

-"No I'll do it, it's my job, plus you have to be in the Great Hall with everyone watching him."- Even though she wasn't supposed to watch Alex anymore and use the time to relax it almost made her more worried about what could happen. She felt like she had to do more stuff as a prefect to prevent anything from happening while she wasn't in charge of watching Alex.

Severus sighs. -"Okay, but you should rest a bit unless you want your job of taking care of Alex back."- He chuckles softly. -"But I still plan to watch him for the next three weeks; I never back out when I start something."- He says proudly.

-"Well I've done a better job of taking care of Alex today then you have, and it's not even supposed to be my job."- Kat said, shutting his confidence down.

Severus glared at her. -"Well, at least from lunch until he went to sleep he was not injured in my care"- He lied. -"So I'm improving"-He huffed.-"Now go to sleep and rest or all the work I'm doing won't be worth it"-

-"He's going to be my problem again in no time, I know it."- Kat said as she turned and started to walk back towards her dorm.

Severus rolls his eyes. -"I know, but at least as long as he isn't, rest at least a little bit, silly"- He says walking to his dorm.

-"I don't have time to rest much, with or without Alex, goodnight."- Kat laughed softly

Severus rolls his eyes -"Yeah, yeah, good night"- He yawns and walks into his dorm.

Kat went into her dorm and went right into her bed, falling asleep the second her head hit the pillow.


{Sev's POV}

Severus went to his closet to store the potions. When he opened the closet, another boggart appeared, showing Severus' great fear. In front of him was a little boy, crying, about 6 or 7 years old, and looking at him with contempt. He took a few steps back and took his wand. He took a deep breath before he whispers - "Riddikulus."- Causing the boggart to turn into a teddy bear. He froze for a few seconds before putting the potions and teddy bear in the closet and sitting on his bed. Severus' fear is to end up being a weak and useless person and the little boy he was when he was little.

Severus' fear is a bad memory from his childhood, like Kat, he was deeply affected by his mother's abandonment. At that time, although he was old enough to understand that his mother would leave never to return, for little Severus he never understood why, which led him to think that it was his fault somehow. And the current Severus tries not to remember that day, he still did not understand the reason why his mother left, but he came to be at peace with himself that it was not his fault, but all these years of feeling guilty for the events of that day left him with many emotional scars.

Although he doesn't remember the events of that day very well, he remembers his mother's words very well. When Severus asked her why she was leaving: -"Because you are not worth it enough to risk my life"-. Those words scarred Severus completely, causing him to begin to shut down emotionally, finding it difficult not only to express his emotions but also to give affection, although he could make exceptions for his brother.

His fear of becoming a useless and weak person came from the guilt he felt at not being able to stop his mother from abandoning them, if he had been stronger and more useful, maybe his mother hadn't left, if he had spoken up instead of crying maybe everything would have been different. Severus blamed himself and regretted for years, that's why he always wants to help his sister, he wants to be useful to her, he doesn't want to be a person who just stands by without being able to do anything.

Severus takes a deep breath before lay down on the bed pretending nothing happened, he decided to talk about the boggart in his closet tomorrow with Kat, and it took him a while to fall asleep.