Disclaimer: Mourn-Today owns Erica and Vicky, Deepshadows2 owns Artimis and Alexis. JK Rowling owns all other characters.


'My dear, your lifeline clearly shows a slow and painful death.'

'Of course it does' cut in Alexis as the Divination Professor stroked Artimis' hand in a rather disturbing manner.

'It is advisable that you avoid contact with any Unforgivables and under no circumstances attempt to drink any potions offered to you.'

Artimis raised an eyebrow at the bug-lady, 'Professor, I think I'd be avoiding those things anyway…really, it's just common sense.' Trelawney only glared in reply, 'That's what they all say dear, but I am always right in the end.'

Alexis snorted loudly. 'Who's they?'

Trelawney turned to face the Gryffindor who 'obviously didn't posses the sight.'

'They? My dear they would be all the sorry souls who didn't heed my warnings. I tell them time and time again that they'll be killed by a lethifold, or a rampaging Hippogriff, but they never listen.'

'Oh…right.'

It had been ten minutes since Dumbledore had left Trelawney with the four girls and it seemed that time had finally come to a standstill. That one moment of stillness before the universe stops expanding, and decides that today is the day it will implode.

Trelawney had done nothing since her arrival except from predicting four deaths and rather obviously hinting about a fifth. Presumably this was Snape's as it was the reason she was down in the dungeons.

Amusing as it was, Snape had yet to return from his rooms fully clothed, however, what was attracting the most attention was the fact that since his initial scramble to reach them, shouts and screams had been issuing through the walls.

At first the girls were at a loss for what to do, Dumbledore had told them not to worry and had promptly offered each of them a sherbet lemon, and that seemed to have been that. But now the girls were growing anxious again, and Vicky had ceased her repetitive head banging (against the wall if anyone's curious) and had made her way over to Snape's office door.

'For the love of God! What the hell's wrong with you? Do you work at being perverted or is it just a natural talent you seem to have?'

Five head immediately snapped towards the door. Snape's voice was getting louder.

'Vicky! Get away from there! He'll kill you if he finds out you've been listening!' muttered Erica.

'Not exactly hard though is it?' replied Alexis arching an eyebrow.

'I'M GONNA GIVE YOU TILL TEN BEFORE I HEX YOU INTO NEXT WEEK! GET OUT!'

'Oh my, he does seem stressed today doesn't he?...I sense a high blood pressure will befall our Potion Master in the near future…'

Artimis rolled her eyes as she wrenched her hand out of the womans grasp and scuttled over to Vicky.

'Move! He's coming!' Artimis quickly pushed her friend out of harms way, only to become the victim herself.

Snape's office door was blasted open by a rather violent spell and out was thrown a woman. She sailed through the air gracelessly and landed with a sickening crunch on top of the Slytherin who fell to the floor looking rather dazed.

'Bloody Hell, Artimis, you ok?' ventured Alexis, after a few seconds of shocked silence.

'Interesting…' was the only word to come out of Erica's mouth as she waltzed over to the scene and nudged the strangers body with the toe of her shoe.

Professor Trelawney and Vicky were now sat side by side. 'Professor, you got any sherry handy? I don't really believe what I'm seeing here.'

'Neither do I dear.' Replied the bug lady, pulling out a bottle from under her numerous shawls.

Meanwhile, back on the dungeon floor, Artimis was trying and failing to roll the woman off her. 'Help-can't breathe!' She gasped.

'Righto!' Vicky and Erica dashed over to the scene, leaving Alexis and Trelawney to become bottle buddies.

'Just-shove her off.'

After some maneuvering, the three girls managed to roll the witch onto the stone floor, and free Artimis who was now looking slightly disheveled.

'Thanks I-'

'Well well well, still here girls? I would have thought you'd find someway to avoid your detentions…I'm disappointed.'

Artimis, Erica and Vicky spun around, coming face to face with their irate potions master.

'Professor we-'

'Do not interrupt me Callabella! You will each scrub the floors, cauldrons and tables clean without the use of magic before you leave this classroom. Do you understand?'

The three girls nodded glumly and began to head towards the stockroom.

'As for you Miss Whyte, (Alexis looked up, her mouth hanging open and a sherry bottle in one hand at the sound of her name.' I want you to dispose of the witch currently lying on my classroom floor.'

'Sure thing Sev!'

A crash erupted from the store cupboards as buckets and mops were dropped and three heads reappeared at the door to the stockroom.

Trelawney, whom Severus had yet to acknowledge, brought a second bottle of Sherry close to her nose and sniffed, looking at Alexis uncertainly.

'Excuse me?' Snape crossed the room in six large strides, and lent over the short Gryffindor, his eyes narrowed.

'Oh Jesus, he's gonna kill her,' came a hushed voice from the stockroom.

'Severus, please be easy on the girl, it appears I've given her a bottle of firewhisky instead of sherry.' Snape's eyes snapped towards Trelawney.

'Oh Merlin, what do you want?'

The Divination Professor blinked in surprise, 'My Dear, the fates have visited me, an have predicted a most gruesome death-'

'Oh no! Not this again!' Snape looked livid. He turned to the three students who had now summoned water into their buckets and were scrubbing tables giggling.

'Why! Why did you let her in?' Snape sounded like he was actually begging for an answer. 'Of all the people on the planet, why her? Why?'

He stalked back across the room, purposefully stepping on the unconscious witch's back as he went.

'Dumbledore said she had a message for you Sir.' Erica smirked.

'A prediction of sorts, by the sound of it Professor,' added Artimis, as she watched Alexis stumble across the classroom over to the witch.

'Ya know, this gal looks familiar,' Alexis was prodding the stranger in the head with her wand.

'Severus, you must heed my warning!'

'Professor, does this desk look clean?'

'Ah! I know who she is!'

'Sorry about our prank from earlier Sir,'

Severus looked at each of the witches in his room as they each vied for his attention. Three of them couldn't tell when a desk was clean, one was busy predicting his death, one was unconscious and the other was pissed out of her mind. Merlin help him!

'Professor? You ok?'

Making up his mind, Severus stalked over to Alexis and snatched the sherry bottle out of her hands, taking a swig of the firewhisky inside, then he approached Trelawney and cast a silencing spell interrupting her 'prediction' of his death. The witch glared at him from behind her thick glasses.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Severus turned to the three students who were serving detention, only to be thrown to the ground. Dazed but certainly not beaten, Severus looked for his attacker and groaned as he saw Alexis scuttling away, hugging her quickly retrieved sherry bottle close to her chest.

'Miss Whyte!' he growled, 'come back here at once!'

The small witch gave a manic grin before blowing a raspberry and taking another swig of the firewhisky as she edged over to Vicky.

Severus snarled as he slowly got to his feet.

'Miss Whyte…get back here now!'

Alexis giggled as the Potions Master stalked towards her. Raising her wand and firing a pink jet of light, Snape had to dive to avoid being hit. Unfortunately, it was the unconscious witch who received the charm, and she was now twitching.

'HOW DARE YOU!' Snape quickly stood up and bolted towards his four students. Alexis squealed and began running through the mixture of tables, chairs and her friends. Trelawney, having lost the ability to speak was taking the time to watch the show with interest. Artimis meanwhile, had opened her mind link with her manic friend.

Alexis! What the hell are you doing?

Ahh, you know me, trying to annoy Snape. You guys just gonna stand there or are you actually gonna help me?

Sure, we'll help.

Artimis grinned as she turned to Vicky and Erica giving them quick instructions. Back on the floor, the witch was now awake and was trying to avoid being trampled by the Professor and his student.

'Can't catch me!' Cried Alexis as she jumped over a desk and took another swig of Firewhisky. She then sprinted back over to her friends who were all standing relatively close to water-holding objects.

Next came Snape who looked about ready to curse the poor girl. He reached his students and then, all went black.


AN: Just a quick note! 'Pissed' means drunk in England, sorry but I wasn't sure what it meant in the US...maybe mad or sad? O.o

Next chapter, the mystery witch is revealed!