Chapter 23: Happy and sad flashbacks


After half an hour, Alex had fallen asleep from crying and screaming.

Severus sighed in relief. -"Finally, but what just happened?"- He asked as he removed his hands from his ears.

Snape sighed before getting up and laying Alex face down on the couch. -"I don't know"- He summoned a blanket and tucked Alex in, -"But he saw something in my wand, of that I'm sure, after how he reacted when you walked over with it"-

Severus hands the wand to his father. -"Well, that makes sense, he can see magical auras and your wand has your magic in it, so have you cast any spells that could scare Alex like that?"- He asked curiously.

Snape's eyes widen at Severus' question. He became slightly nervous, he put away his wand, but he couldn't answer the question.

After a while of the room being silent, Severus spoke. -"Father?"- He looked at his father in confusion; he is not usually at a loss for words, though he hoped he would not be scolded for the question, as his father did not look too happy.

Snape takes a deep breath; he turned his head, unable to look his son in the eyes. -"Yes, I can think of a few, but don't ask me about it, Severus, I'm not going to talk about it, it's not a conversation I want to have with any of you three"- He spoke using a cold tone, one he only used with others never with his children. Snape had never, talk to his children about his former spy work and that he was a Death Eater, well, nothing to do with the war or Voldemort. It was a topic that wasn't pleasant to remember, and he didn't want his children to know all the bad things he had done. Besides, he didn't want to reopen old wounds and strong regrets; he didn't have time to fall into a depression when his children needed him now more than ever. -"You can go, leave Alexander here; I'll take him to the Great Hall for dinner"-

Severus flinched a little at his father's tone, his father never spoke to them like that, unless something had happened that he was pissed off about, and he used that tone with them, so he didn't ask again. He nods and leaves the office without saying a word, but was slightly confused at his father's attitude, but at the same time intrigued by what Alex may have seen on his wand.

Snape sits back down at his desk as he tries to forget all the bad old memories. -'Sometimes I wonder if I really deserve to be a father'- He thought as he put his hands on his head, he gritted his teeth as he tried not to break down while memories and regrets invaded his mind.


{Kat and Sev's POV}

Kat got out of the shower and changed into a sweatshirt and leggings to hang out in, taking off her gloves as she pulled out one of the books her father had asked her to read. It didn't take her long to finish the book, so she could meditate. After meditating, Kat read the book her father gave her about trying to control her ability, the more she read, the more she realized how much her and Sev could help with Alex. Severus could pretty much hear anything Alex did, hear his movements and talking to know exactly what he was doing and trying to keep him safe. Anything that scared Alex, Kat could touch and see why; whether it be her father's wand or even tap into his mind to see what happened in a dream that upset him.

Severus headed for his dorm, but decided to tell Kat what had just happened, so he went to hers. He knocked on the door, didn't wait for an answer, and walked in. -"Hey, something really weird just happened with Alex"- He said with a sigh.

-"What happened?"- Kat asked curiously as she looked up from a book while sitting on her bed. -"Why do you look like your ears feel like they're bleeding?"-

Severus sits on the floor as he sighs. -"Because, my ears were about to bleed, your little brother has good lungs for screaming"- He took off his headphones while rubbing his ears. -"Well, he's been looking at his wand all day, saying it was pretty, then he became obsessed with my wand, saying it was electric and asked me to take him to see dad's wand, which I did. He looked at the wand with fascination saying it was very strong, but then he started screaming as if someone was killing him"-

-"He's your little brother too, not just mine, lol"- Kat said shaking her head as she enclosed the book and put it down next to her -"Why is he so fascinated with wands, they're just wood?"- She asked with a shrug as she tried to figure out why he would be.

Severus shrugged. -"I don't know, when I asked him I didn't understand his explanation, but I deduced that, as he can see the magical auras, the wands use the magic of their owners, so he can see our magic in the wands and maybe the spells we have cast with them. So maybe he saw or felt a spell that dad cast a long time ago, and it really scared him"-

-"Alex really needs to learn that not everyone in this world is good"- Kat said with a sigh as she rubbed her face -"I wonder what dad cast that scared him"- She said, wanting to know what it could be.

Severus shrugged again. -"I don't know, but it must have been something really bad, dad reacted in a very strange way, I use that tone when he gets pissed"- He rolled his eyes. -"And well, what do you expect from that kid, he lives in a bubble where you or dad get rid of everything bad"-

-"We have to get rid of everything bad because the kid will cause us hell if we don't take care of the things that bother him"- Kat said with a sigh as she thought of an idea -"I think I should touch dad's wand and see what I can see"-

Severus raised an eyebrow. -"Are you sure? Alex was really scared by what he saw, although he's scared of everything, but I don't know if dad lets you touch his wand, he seemed to have a slight suspicion of what Alex saw"-

-"It can't be that bad, I can also handle a lot more than Alex can"- Kat said with a nod trying to come up with an idea to get his wand.

Severus shrugged. -"Okay, if you say so, so, do you have something in mind?"- He smirks.


{Snape's POV}

Snape sighed, he couldn't concentrate on his work; he raised his head to where his little boy was sleeping. Alex was sleeping peacefully; it really seemed as if what happened a couple of hours ago had never happened. His mind began to wander to the past. After the first magical war, he ended up psychologically shattered. The guilt was eating him alive after because of him his best friend and the love of his life had died. And although he had followed all of Albus' orders to try to atone for his guilt and try to feel better, but he never stopped thinking about taking his own life or letting himself be killed once the Potter boy fulfilled his destiny. Though, his plans were ruined after a visit from an old friend...

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{Snape's flashback}

Eighteen years ago (1985), four years after the war had ended, Snape was still not getting back on his feet, he spent all day drinking, doing potions or giving classes, for him his life had no meaning, just waiting for the Potter boy to arrive, so he could fulfill his promise.

Snape kept a lost look while holding a glass of firewhiskey, like every day he didn't want to think about anything or do anything. He thought that day would be like any other when he heard someone come in through his fireplace.

-"Severus, you really don't know how to take care of yourself"- Lucius Malfoy said as he walked towards him.

-"What do you want, Lucius? If you've come to criticize my lifestyle again, you can leave"- Snape said with annoyance.

-"Oh, come on, Severus, you can't go on like this for the rest of your life"- Lucius said with a sigh.

-"Lucius, this is my life, I screwed up, and I'm paying the consequences, leave me alone"- Snape said in a tired voice.

Lucius sighed exasperatedly -"Hey, you need to get on with your life"- He sat down across from him -"Look, I've been talking to some friends and one of them wants to marry off his granddaughter, she's about your age"-

-"Lucius, stop right there, either way where this conversation is going, and the answer is no. Besides, your 'friends' are all purebloods and me, a half-blood, stop talking bullshit"- Snape said in exasperation.

-"No, she is the youngest granddaughter, and you carry in your blood the Prince lineage, you are an excellent candidate to sire very powerful wizards, come on, just a date. Besides, this will help you not to be alone anymore"- Lucius tried to convince him.

-"I don't want children, I'm not a child's person, besides, I don't want children to carry my blood or my last name"- Snape said with disgust.

-"Come on, just meet her, I'm not going to force you to marry, but I just want to help, I know you regret it, but you need to get over it and this will keep you more distracted than just drinking, swearing, yelling and terrorizing kids. Besides, the Cass family genes are stronger than yours, your kids will be nothing like you"- Lucius said with a smile.

Snape sighed heavily -"Fine, I'll do it"- He knew Lucius wouldn't leave him alone -"But they don't expect me to be a good father, I'll never be a good father, I'm not even a good person"-

Lucius rolled his eyes -"You just have to educate them, the same thing I did with Draco, just give them what they need and discipline them, with that you'll already be a father"-

Snape rubbed his face with his hand -"Yeah, I know your parenting style"- He looked at the glass knowing that he would regret his decision -"Alright, what's her name?"-

Lucius smiled before saying the name of the woman who is a one future would be one of the most hated people for Snape -"Kiara"-

A week goes by, and he met that woman, she really was a tolerable woman and was completely different from Snape in looks, with her beautiful blonde hair, her white but not pale skin and her blue eyes. They had a nice date, you could say, they hardly talked about them, only about what their "marriage" would be like, they agreed to have two children and raise them as purebloods had been raised all their lives, it didn't matter if they carried Snape's last name, what mattered was magical power, not blood. Snape thought about it for a few days, but he was really too tired to think about the future, so he decided to get married, he wouldn't have to plan anything, as the Cass family took care of everything. The "wedding", if you could call it that, was very discreet, so no one besides the parents of Kiara and Lucius knew that Snape had gotten married. So in a matter of a year they were married.

Even after they were married, Snape never forgot his initial plans, but Lucius was right about one thing, having company was a bit more bearable of his guilt than being alone. When he found out that Kiara was pregnant he was not happy, they hardly spoke or communicated at all, so he found out when she already had a big belly, of course Snape didn't comment anything.

But Snape's plans were ruined a few months later with the birth of his daughter. She looked like Snape, to both of their disappointment, the only thing they didn't have in similarity was their noses. Snape felt bad to see that his daughter looked like him, but at the same time he felt a little happy. He never wanted to be a father for fear of being just like his.

Kiara, on the other hand, was upset that her daughter didn't have her family's features -"You name her"- She said as she put the newborn in the cradle.

Snape sighed, but nodded. He went through several books looking for the perfect name until he found one -"Katarina...Katarina Lily Cass"- He decided to name her after his best friend. He looked at the little girl in the crib and for the first time in a long time he smiled genuinely.

A little over a year later their second child, their son, was born. And just like his sister, he was identical to Snape. Kiara was again annoyed at not seeing her family's features, but gave up; the point was for the children to be great wizards.

Snape was much more enthusiastic this time, although as usual he didn't show it, but he already had the name for his son -"Severus Salazar Cass"- Although it seemed strange to him to name his son after him, at that moment he was so excited that he didn't care.

Years passed and Snape was not a loving father, and a bit absent. He spent most of the year at Hogwarts, obviously he never took his children to the castle, he wanted no one to know of their existence, in case he died, no one could relate them with him. Although the older his children got, the more the idea of dying after fulfilling his promise gradually faded away. He used to go home during Christmas, summer vacations and some weekends during the school period. During his days at home he used to be a bit distant, only talking to them to correct them, punish them or exchange a couple of words. There were never hugs or kisses, although he used to give them compliments like "Good job", "You did well", "Good boy" or "Good girl".

But the atmosphere at home changed three years later with the birth of their youngest. Kiara and Snape did not share a room and never slept together, but after one of Snape and Kiara's depressive drunken binges during the holidays, she also came back drunk, and one thing led to another, causing the couple to have an extra child. There were a couple of fights between Severus and Kiara.

-"We said two, two children, I don't want a third!"- Kiara shouted in annoyance.

-"Stop yelling, the children are taking a nap, and this is both of our fault, I didn't want one more child either, but"- Snape said without showing any emotion, but inside he was nervous and scared; he wasn't prepared for a third child.

After a heated discussion, they agreed to keep the baby; after all, it would be another child with a chance to be a powerful wizard. At that point, Snape started looking for parenting books; he was not prepared to take care of three children.

The problems would not end there, when his third child was born, and like the others he did not have the appearance of a Cass, Kiara had already given up on her children having her appearance. She was exhausted, this had been the most difficult delivery and for some reason the baby had been born smaller than normal, but the healer said he was healthy.

-"Alexander Severus Cass"- Snape said to his two children who were looking at the little baby in their mother's arms, -"It's your baby brother"-

A little Kat looked at him with a bow of her head, -"He's very small"-

Snape nodded softly at his daughter's words.

For the next month, Snape had not been to see his children, he was very busy, as he had to keep an eye on the Potter boy who had entered Hogwarts, but after a desperate letter from his wife he had to return home, she sounded very upset. So that weekend he came home.

-"What's the matter?"- Snape said with mild annoyance. He was surprised to see his wife more tired than usual, this had never happened with his other children. He thought maybe the other two plus the newborn had caused a lot of trouble. He sighed; he didn't want to punish anyone today.

-"I hate this kid, every time he sees me cry and hits me or pulls my hair!"- Kiara said walking towards Snape with a small Alex, who was crying loudly -"Take him, I can't stand him anymore!"- She put him in Snape's arms.

-"Are you crazy, don't give him to me"- Snape said, visibly nervous. He was frightened that he might drop him, but at that moment Alex stopped crying and squirming, curled up against his father's chest, falling asleep. He was surprised at this, but before he could do or say anything, Kiara was gone. He looked down at the little one in his arms, it was the first time he had ever held one of his children, he had never done it before, he was too afraid of contaminating them or hurting them. He sighed heavily and sat down without taking his eyes off the baby.

Time passed, Alex was the same, when Snape wasn't at home, he wouldn't stop crying and screaming, so Snape had to come home more often, causing him to go home every night, with his exceptions. Until Christmas came, although he had to keep his promise, Albus allowed him to spend Christmas away from the castle, since, even if the Potter boy was there, there would be no problem. He rolled his eyes, but said nothing, to go home. Once at home, Kiara gave Alex to him and fled, it was a routine that had become between them. Once he sat down with the baby in his arms, he was lost in his thoughts when a small voice brought him out of them.

-"I think Alex hates mother"- Kat said as she sat down at her father's feet with a book.

Snape looked down at her, -"Why do you think that?"-

-"Alex cries when she's around, but with Sev and me he always smiles, it's cute"- Kat said as she opened the book.

At that moment a little Severus walked in -"Father"- He frowned as he saw him holding Alex, he sat next to his sister pouting.

Kat sighed and patted Severus' head.

Snape frowned at his daughter's words. How a baby would hate his mother. But it didn't seem crazy to him when he first experienced it. Every time Kiara fed, changed or carried Alex, he would just cry and kick, but when he was in the crib or lying on the floor with his siblings around, he would smile. Snape didn't think much of it, but because of that child, he was forced to become more actively involved in his children's parenting.

The more time passed, the more Snape changed his attitude towards his children, he became a little more attentive towards them and even became a little more affectionate, a couple of pats on the head or on the back, but the one who received more affection was Alex, not because Snape loved him more, but because he asked for affection all the time.

When Alex started to crawl he used to constantly go to where his father or siblings are for attention, and when he learned to walk he used to drag his father all over the house to where his siblings were, although Snape never played with them, he stayed in the room watching them play. At other times, Alex would only come to his study just to sit on the floor and play there, until Kat would come for him and mutter a "Sorry"

Snape, as his youngest grew up, had to give him a lot of affection, as the little boy was always asking him to pick him up, and though he would never admit it he could never say no to the puppy face his son made, a manipulative little boy.

-"Daddy, daddy, up"- Alex said holding out his little arms to Snape.

-"Alexander, it's father, not daddy"- Snape corrected him just as he did his other children.

Alex's smile disappeared and his eyes watered -"Up"- He said in a trembling voice.

Snape looked at him for a moment and sighed defeated -"Fine"- He gently picked Alex up -"You really are a very strange kid, your siblings never asked me to do this"- He said to Alex, but he was talking more to himself.

Alex just giggled and snuggled into his father's chest as he put his thumb in his mouth.

Snape rolled his eyes and continued his work with the baby in his arms.

But that wasn't the only thing that changed, his older children began to get closer or interact more with him. Like when Severus was 5 years old and started his tutoring at home and began to take an interest in potions. Snape used to notice how Severus would peek in the door of his potions lab to watch his father work, until Snape allowed him to come in and sit next to him, so he could learn better.

Snape stayed focused as he made a potion, he sighed heavily when he heard the door open, -"I thought I locked it"- He turned his head expecting to find a baby crawling around the room, but only saw Severus peeking in the door, -"What are you doing there?"- He said more sternly than he expected.

Severus closed the door with a frightened face before walking away from the Lab.

This happened several times until one day Snape said when he heard the door open -"Severus, come here"- He said without turning his head. He listened as the little 5-year-old walked towards him. Snape looked down at him, Severus looked frightened, -"Are you interested in potions?"-

Severus closed his eyes tightly in fear, -"Yes, father, I have only studied the theory, but I would like to see how to make a potion"-

Snape raised an eyebrow at his son's words, -"Alright, you can look, but no touching"- He said sternly before picking Severus up and sitting him on the stool next to him. He frowned slightly as he watched his son look at him in amazement, and then looked at the ingredients more amazed. He sighed and explained everything about the potion. By the end of his "lesson" his son was a much better student than his students and was much smarter, so a wave of pride went through his body.

Also, when Snape used to read in the living room and Kat would sit with him to read too, but it wasn't until he was 6 years old that he started asking her questions about the books she read and also asked her for new books, since he had read all the books he was allowed to read in the house.

Snape didn't mind his daughter sitting next to him while they both read, but something initial about their reading sessions was that his daughter spoke up, as they were usually quiet during their reading time.

-"Father, why can't a wizard use a wand until the age of 11?"- Kat asked, looking at her father.

-"Because at that age your magic has already stabilized enough to be able to use magic, besides at that time you will begin your education, and you will need it"- Snape answered without looking up from the book.

-"I understand, father"- Kat said before going back to reading. A few moments later she moved closer to her father and asked another question, -"Father, why don't we go to school like the other kids in the area?"-

Snape sighed, -"Because you are magical children and for safety's sake you must see classes here"-

Kat nodded, -"I understand, Father"- She went back to reading, but after a while, -"Father..."-

Snape answered her questions without any discomfort and could see out of the corner of his eye how his daughter smiled.

Even if Snape didn't hug or kiss them, or play with them or have long conversations, those little moments were important to all of them. And spending more time with his children made all those horrible memories recede into the back of his mind.

But that harmony would not last forever, the peace that existed in the house was lost when the dark lord returned and Kiara abandoned her children and Snape the same year 1995...

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{Back to the present}

{Alex and Snape's POV}

As Snape was lost in thought, a range of emotions crossed his face, from sadness and remorse, from happiness and nostalgia to deep anger, but he snapped out of his thoughts as he heard a small murmur from the sleeping boy on the couch.

Alex woke slowly; the change of emotions in his father's magic had awakened him. He rubbed his eyes as he sat up on the couch.

Snape had to take a deep breath to swallow all the emotions he was feeling -"Are you sleeping well?"- He asked in his usual tone.

Alex turned his head to look at his father. -"That was really scary"- He pouted a little -"I'm sorry, don't be mad at me, I was really scared, I didn't mean to scream like that"- He said as he looked down and played with his thumbs.

Snape stood up and walked over to the couch until he sat down next to Alex-"I'm not mad at you"-

Alex looked up at his father for a moment before he climbed onto his father's lap and sat down.

-"What did you see that scared you?"- Snape asked as he settled him on his lap, so he could look at him.

Alex bit his lip and looked down slightly. -"Well, when I took your wand, it was very warm, it felt very good, but then there was something else, hidden in your wand, so I wanted to take a little peek"- He held his father's robe tightly -"And when I saw it I felt many things at once, first I felt very scared as if someone wanted to hurt me and I couldn't protect myself, but then that fear became even more terrifying until it felt very painful as if I had lost something important. But then the fear calmed down a bit, but it felt very heartbreaking and very lonely, but the fear became very scary again, as if I was about to do something unforgivable, I couldn't take it anymore, and I threw the wand away. I didn't want to see or feel anymore"- He looked up. -"The magic was weird, very murky, unpleasant, sometimes warm and protective, but also very sad and lonely. Dad, was that you...?"- He didn't finish when he saw his father's face, he had never seen it before and his magic felt cold and sad.

-"Alexander, son, that's enough, just stop"- Snape said as he put his hand to his face and gritted his teeth. He didn't want his son to see him in that state.

-"Dad, are you all right?"- Alex said with a tone of concern.

Snape said nothing as he hugged his son against his chest. He didn't have how to answer or how to talk to him, all those memories and feelings he had felt, because of him, his son had felt them, also all the horrible spells he had done, his hatred, his anger, his guilt, his desire of not wanting to live, everything. His son had seen it all.

-"Daddy?"- Alex buried his head in his father's chest, he wanted to cry, but he restrained himself, he didn't know what was wrong with his father, he doesn't like that he was like this. But he didn't know what to do, he had never seen him like this, his father was always strong and confident, but who he had in front of him now didn't look like his strong father at all. A small memory hit Alex's mind, he had only seen him like this once, but it was a long time ago...

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{Alex's flashback}

Six years ago, 1997.

Alex didn't really understand why his father wasn't around much during that summer; he kept staring at the fireplace, waiting for his father to come back.

-"Alex, you can't stay there all day, did you finish the homework the tutor left you?"- Kat said behind him.

-"It's just that I was expecting dad to help me, he always spends every day of the summer with us, why is he away so much?"- Alex said sadly.

Kat sighed, -"Dad is busy, I can help you with your homework"-

Alex sighed, but before he could say a word Kat had picked him up and carried him to his room.

Things didn't get any better when his father after a few days had said he was Headmaster of Hogwarts.

-"Oh, father, congratulations"- Kat and Sev said at the same time with a small smile.

-"Thank you, Katarina you're in charge of your siblings, I won't be home very often from now on and I won't be coming for the whole school year"- Snape said indifferently.

Alex was about to complain, but something about his father's magic didn't please him, he wasn't his usual self, something was wrong. Fear coursed through his body, his father was leaving, and if he didn't come back, would he abandon them?

During the few times his father was home, Alex tried to spend as much time as possible with him, but his magic scared him, he was very unstable, if he didn't know his father he would say he was nervous or scared. But that was impossible, his father was not afraid of anything.

The night of August 30 was horrible for Alex. The four of them were in the living room, that was rare, his father used to leave early on September 1, but after days of not coming back here he was gathering his children to say goodbye.

-"Well, I'm leaving, Katarina keep your brothers safe, don't send me any letters, the elf will take care of your meals, and you will be alone from now on"- Snape closed his eyes tightly, -"Try not to leave the house too much, Alexander and Severus I want them to listen to Katarina in everything, everything she says is as if I'm saying it"- He said seriously, -"I'm leaving"- He turned around and walked towards the fireplace.

Alex's eyes filled with tears, and he ran to his father, something was wrong, and he was afraid. -"Daddy"- He hugged him tightly.

Kat walked towards Alex, she pulled him away from their father and hugged him -"Hey, father will just be very busy, we'll see him July, as always, right father?"- She asked him with a sad smile.

Snape didn't even bother to turn around, but nodded, -"Take care of yourselves, I'll try to come back"- He said before disappearing into the green flames.

Once his father was gone fear took over Alex's body, and he cried loudly -"Daddy, daddy!"- He felt Kat hug him tighter, he even felt Sev hugging him, that didn't make him feel better, it scared him even more.

At first, Alex was crying and depressed the first few weeks, but then he got used to not having his father around, plus he was distracted with homework and playing around the house. But his father was away from home for 11 months, and they didn't hear from him during that time. In addition, the elf was in charge of hiding the Daily Prophet so that none of the children knew what was going on outside the house, it was an order from Snape since Voldemort returned, none of his children could have a newspaper in their hands.

When July arrived, Alex was excited for his father to come back, unfortunately he didn't, that made Alex even more scared, spending all that time wanting to not think that his father had abandoned them, but as July's days passed his theory started to get stronger in his head.

-"Alex, dad is busy, he's the Headmaster, he's not a professor anymore, so he'll be home later"- Both Kat and Sev were telling him that, but Alex didn't believe them much, he was so busy not to come visit them even on Christmas, not even on their birthdays, not even a card o letter, of course his father had left presents, but it wasn't the same.

Everything changed one afternoon in August, when Snape came out of the fireplace, the first to notice his presence was Kat, who was reading in the living room -"Father, you've come back home!"- She said, visibly happy.

Alex barely heard the word father, he ran to the fireplace -"Dad, dad"- He cried as he hugged him. His father's magic was much calmer than when he left, but he was much weaker, but Alex didn't think about that at that moment, his father was back and that was all that mattered.

During the night, when Alex couldn't sleep, he went out of his room to his father's room, he wanted to sleep with him and make sure he didn't leave. He entered the room stealthily, there he saw his father's wounded body and the words that traumatized him for life -"I almost died there"- Alex had to cover his mouth so that no noise would come out of it. He ran to his father's bed and got under the sheets, he was crying silently until he heard his father's voice.

-"What are you doing here?"- Snape said in a tired voice.

Alex looked at his father, there he realized how tired he looked, his face that almost never showed any emotion looked sad and exhausted, his magic was weak and gave him a lot of sadness. Alex cried harder, -"I only wanted to sleep with you"-

Snape sighed -"You don't have to cry"- He said before getting into bed with his son -"You can sleep here tonight"-

Alex held his father's arm tightly as if he was going to disappear at any moment. For a couple of weeks his father didn't seem the same, he was very strange for Alex's perspective, sad, apathetic and distant. He didn't like seeing his father like this, but he didn't know what to do, he stayed close to his father as much as he could. His father's attitude returned to normal a few days before Kat started going to Hogwarts, he didn't seem at all himself, but his father was slowly coming back to himself...

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{Back to the present}

{Alex's POV}

Alex looked up at his father, that look was similar and the same with magic. He hugged his father tightly, a little fear entered his body, as if everything that happened that terrible year was going to be repeated, he didn't want his father to leave again, or to feel like that. He with determination thought -'I won't stay away from daddy until he is like always again'-