Well, as they say, all good things must come to an end. I want to thank every single person who has reviewed this story: you all are so amazing and I thank you for all your comments and feedback! I hesitate to call the next story a sequel, so I think I should refer to it as a memoir—basically, an elderly Anna is going to narrate the entire story, including various details left out of "Stories of the Past". Anyway, you guys are amazing, and I really hope that you all enjoy the epilogue! Don't forget to look for "Chasing Hope" either tomorrow or Saturday afternoon! Oh! And the song at the end of the chapter? Totally Faith Hill's amazing song: "Fireflies".
The Epilogue
Leala's chin was in her hands as she leaned on the coffee table. "And that's all?"
Greg and I faced each other and nodded. "Yeah, that about covers the highlights of my story," I concluded.
"I have one question though, Mom," Eva began, cocking her head to the side slightly. I nodded, encouraging her to continue. "No offense or anything to you, Dad," she said, looking at Greg honestly, "but why would you give up someone so…so…"
"…so seemingly perfect for me?" I finished with a sad smile. Eva nodded her head eagerly, eyes searching mine. I sighed.
"If I had continued to date, and eventually marry Flack, you all wouldn't be here…"
"Well, we know that mom," Leala began with a slight wave of her hand as she maneuvered herself back onto the couch. "Even Baron knows that we're both of our parents, with genetics and all that…"
"Are you making fun of me?" Baron asked his sister, obviously insulted. Leala rolled her eyes dramatically and Eva picked up her younger sister's sentence for her.
"Yeah, Mom, we know that if…"
"No, you don't 'know if'," I said, rubbing my temple, "you don't know the half of it."
"Well, then tell us, Mommy," Leala pleaded. "Why didn't you marry Flack if you were so in love with him?" she asked, eyes begging for more information. I smiled at my youngest daughter.
"They always say: If you love something, set it free…"
"…if it comes back, it's meant to be," Leala recalled.
"…if it doesn't, then it never was," Eva concluded, folding her arms across her chest with a triumphant grin. I smiled at my girls. Greg looked at Baron and the two of them were baffled.
"Is that some secret female mantra?" Greg asked me. I slapped his arm playfully. I guessed that Elsie had hung up, or else she would have chimed in by now. So, I got up from the couch and snapped my cell phone shut, putting it back into my purse.
"So, what does that have to do with Flack?" Eva asked curiously. I turned around to face her and sat back down onto the couch next to Greg again.
"If I had married Flack, I wouldn't have you guys," I said, looking at all of my children in turn, "because Flack and I chose different paths in life."
Baron's eyebrows were raised. "What does that mean?" he asked. I licked my lips and continued.
"After Flack and I had dated for a while, we talked about what we wanted in life: marriage, family, homes, et cetera," I told my children, who seemed to be listening with interest, "and we chose different paths," I added quietly.
"You mean," Eva began, trying to decipher my words, "Flack didn't want children?" she asked, eyes fixated on mine. I bit my lip.
"No, I think he wanted kids, it was just that, when it all boiled down to it, we both had different ideas about…things," I said cryptically. Leala rolled her eyes at me.
"You're gonna have to be more specific than that, Mom."
I laughed at my daughter and continued the conversation. "Flack wasn't ready to give up his job in a heartbeat to settle down and have children," I said, recalling years ago when I was younger and very stubborn.
"So, you were willing to give your job up to have kids?" Baron asked. I studied my son. Was there a hint of admiration in his voice, or was I imagining things?
"Yes. Yes, I was. I didn't want to continue to be a crime scene investigator if I had children. Though, granted, being a CSI was not a 'throw your life on the line' kind of profession, it was still dangerous. And I knew that if I had children, I wanted to be there for them."
Leala's eyes were wide. "So, you gave up Flack and New York…for us?" she asked. I ran my fingers through my brunette hair.
"In a sense, yes, I guess I did. I knew what I wanted in life, and though I loved Flack, he and I had different opinions. I was ready to move into the country and have a family, and Flack didn't exactly jump at the idea of leaving the city."
"From how you describe him, he strikes me as a city boy," Eva said with a little grin. I laughed at her.
"Yes, yes he was. But he was nothing compared to Danny," I noted with remembrance. Baron perked up again.
"Wasn't it hard to give up Flack?" he asked me. I blinked, not quite expecting to hear that question from my son.
"Of course," I said, my voice above a whisper. I saw a younger version of myself, boxes packed, standing on her fire escape, just crying out to the stars. I swallowed and nodded again, addressing Baron's question. "It's hard to give up someone, especially when you're scared at where life will take you next."
Leala nodded. "And that's when you moved from New York, right?"
I shook my head. "Not right after that, no. It was still a few months after I had broken it off with Flack that I got an offer out west – California – to join their CSI team out there."
"And did you take it?" Eva asked, curiosity getting the best of her. I smiled and looked at Greg.
"Ironically enough, I went down to Florida for a vacation, in order to think things over, and…"
"…and that's where your mother and I ran into each other again," Greg finished putting his arm around my shoulders. The children gasped.
"Nuh-uh!" Leala exclaimed with wide eyes and an even wider smile.
"Yep," I nodded with a smile to match hers. "It was fate that your father was staying at the same hotel that I was."
Eva beamed. "That is so cool!"
I nodded and laughed with Greg.
"Do you have any regrets about what you did, Mom?" Leala asked seriously. I stopped laughing and stared into her dark eyes. My daughter looked thoughtful, and yet fearful of my answer. I patted the empty patch of couch next to me, and Leala came over. I sat her on my lap and wrapped my arms around her, kissing the top of her head. Eva and Baron stared at me, expecting an answer.
"There was a line from a musical, once, that I have always remembered," I began with a slight tilt of my head. "It said: Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. I think that I have always followed through with that. So, Leala, I don't regret anything. If it wasn't for me leaving New York, I would have never met up with your father again, and then you all wouldn't be here."
The children's gazes were sympathetic and yet loving. "If I had taken that job in California, if I hadn't gone back to school to get my teaching certificate, and if I hadn't had ever taken that trip to Florida, I wouldn't have the joy that I have now," I explained. "And more importantly, I wouldn't have the five loves of my life." I looked around at my four children – three who were awake, and a sleeping Noah – and my husband. All of them were smiling at me.
Leala faced me and wrapped her arms around my neck. "I love you Mommy. You gave up your dreams for mine." I held back tears and tightly embraced my daughter. I opened my eyes to the flickering of lights and power. The children, Greg, and I all cheered. Finally, after hours upon hours of waiting, the power had finally been restored. Eva looked at her siblings thoughtfully and ushered them over to her chair. Leala bounced off of the couch and over towards where her brother and sister were congregated. I threw a confused glance at Greg, who merely shrugged as Noah woke up, stretching and yawning.
The children broke from their little congregation, and Eva stood up, stretched, and walked over towards where the light switch was. She flicked the lights off, and suddenly there was darkness in the room once again. The children looked at Greg and me, all smiling.
"We talked about it, and decided that we want to spend time with you guys," Eva declared with a smiling face. Baron and Leala nodded enthusiastically.
I furrowed my eyebrows. "You really want to spend time with…us? Your parents? The ones who apparently make your lives miserable on a daily basis?" I asked with a chuckle. Baron nodded and plopped himself back down onto the couch.
"Yeah, something like that."
Greg beamed and let Noah down from the couch to play with his toy cars and trains.
"Alright, who are you and what have you done with the real Sanders children?" Greg asked playfully. Leala threw her hands up in mock frustration.
"Dad!" she whined. Greg laughed and Leala sat, Indian-style, on our carpet, with Eva seated to the left of her.
"Seriously though," Eva continued, "we're sorry that we give you guys a hard time, and that we don't spend as much time with you as we should."
Greg and I shared a look. "Okay, now I'm officially scared," I said with a little laugh. Eva looked frustrated and I continued. "but I am touched that you all want to spend time with us."
The children looked at each other and smiled.
"Dad," Baron began, bounding over towards my husband, "tell me about all those bodies and cases and stuff!" Greg looked at me once, with a glimmer in his eyes, and proceeded to tell Baron some interesting CSI tales.
"So, Mom, what else did you and Aunt Elsie do in New York?" Leala asked with curiosity. Eva's eyes widened. "Was there a lot of cool places to shop?"
I beamed. "The coolest," I assured Eva before turning my attention to Leala. "Well, there was this one time…" I began, settling myself to tell more stories of adventures.
I believe in fairytales, and dreamer's dreams
Like bedsheet sails,
And I believe in Peter Pan, and miracles,
Anything I can to get by.
And fireflies.
Sometimes, life happens for a reason, and we never truly understand. But then, we reach points in our lives, where suddenly everything makes sense again. We realize why we ever dreamed in the first place, or why we wished or hoped or prayed. Sometimes when we least expect to get an answer, it comes to us in a heartache. I think that I have realized these things as I have gone through life. Granted, times have been hard, and granted, I have felt many days like giving up or giving in.
But I keep pressing on, knowing that this journey in life may be rocky in places, and may contain sinkholes and detours.
But everywhere that I have gone, everyone that I have seen, and everything that I have done has pointed me one way:
Home.
Before you knew me, I traveled 'round the world.
I slept in castles and fell in love,
Because I was taught to dream.
