Hey everybody, thank you so much for tuning in once again. You're going to find this chapter a little different from the others mainly because I switched to first person point of view. I wrote it out in third person but it kept changing to "I said" and"I thought" so I changed it. I actually like it better this way. Sorry it's taken so long but life's gotten a little crazy. Once again, please review, it means a lot to me, even if you want to tell me the story sucks.

Chapter 9

Jude's POV

I walked into G Major with a heavy heart and a mind full of doubt. I watched as the receptionist whispered something to Eden who laughed and smirked at me. I had yet to have even a conversation with her but I knew one would be coming soon. I watched Tommy follow somebody into StudioA and tried to send him a half smile but knew it looked more like a grimace. Kwest sat on one of the couches and stood up once he saw me.

"Lets go," he said stiffly. He was still pissed about the day before. Jude couldn't just do the easy thing once and sing what she was given. She had to always be different and now she'd probably cost him his first real producing job and he'd go back to being a technician.

"I'm sorry Kwest," I said softly as we walked towards Darius's office.

"Yeah well, so am I," Kwest muttered. "Jude, if we somehow make it through these next few minutes without getting fired, could you please promise me something?"

"What?" I asked.

"To think about somebody else then yourself for once," he said seriously. "I know you have your standpoint on doing cover songs and you hate being told what to do. But this isn't all about you. If I screw this up, I go back to being Tommy's btch boy."

"I thought he was your friend," I said confused.

"Oh he is, my best friend," Kwest said. "Outside of work, but here, I've always had to do what he said. Here's my chance for once to run things, please just give me this chance."

"Okay." I could tell by the look on his face he wasn't expecting that but I didn't want to get a lecture from him when I was sure to get one from Darius.

We walked into Darius's office behind Liam who had been waiting in the doorway for us. Darius was sitting in his chair with his feet up on the desk like he was the friggen' king or something. He motioned for us both to sit and I had to hold my tongue from telling him we weren't dogs.

"I trust that Liam has already talked to both of you," Darius said already knowing he had. When we both nodded he smiled. "Great, than I think we need to get something straight. Kwest, we'll start with you. When you came to me beggin' for a chance to actually produce somebody, I was skeptical. You already knew that. But I gave you an artist, somebody I thought you could control because you worked on her first album."

"And I can never thank you enough for this chance," Kwest said making me want to puke. My only hope was that I didn't have to talk to him this way but sadly, I knew I was going to have to do some major ego stroking.

"I'm thinking I gave you too much to handle and it's time to hand her over to somebody else," Darius said and I watched as Kwest's face fell. It seemed he'd been right, I had screwed up my job at G Major and his. I couldn't let Kwest get fired. Besides, if I was going to just give in and do what I was told, I needed a friend here at least.

"Don't take him off my album Darius," I said interrupting Darius mid-sentence. When everybody looked at me in surprise; I realized I'd messed up once again. "I'm sorry for interrupting but I can't let you do this. It's not Kwest's fault. I'm sure Georgia told you that I have issues with control, Tommy couldn't even control me."

"Ms. Harrison, I'll get to you in a second," Darius said glaring at me.

"No Darius, you don't have to get to me," I said pausing more so I could gather my thoughts than anything else. "I'll do what you want."

"What?" everybody said shocked.

"I'll sing what you want, wear what you want, do what you want," I said all in one breath. Those were the hardest words I've ever had to utter in a long time.

"You'll go blonde," Darius said giving me a look that can only be described as calculating.

I had to take a deep breath, okay, a couple deep breaths. "Yes," I said finally getting the word out. I watched as Darius smiled like the cat that got the canary and Liam hit the intercom button calling Portia into the office. Kwest was smiling like he'd just one the freaking' lottery and rubbing my back like that was going to make everything okay. I felt nauseous but mostly, I felt like a little piece inside of me had just died. I'd given something away today, my freedom.

"You rang," Portia said sarcastically opening the door.

"Yes, I have another project for you," Darius said motioning her in so she could shut the door. "Please take Ms. Harrison to the salon, she's going blonde."

Portia looked at Jude in surprise but even she couldn't mask the look of utter success on her face. She knew that Darius would have broken her in eventually, it just looked like he'd done it a lot sooner this time. "And her wardrobe."

"Lets just stick with one thing at a time," Darius said looking at the clothes I was wearing today. So okay, it was the same thing I'd worn yesterday but after sitting up most of the night agonizing over what I was going to say, it had taken every ounce of my willpower to even be on time for the meeting.

"Great, lets go," Portia said walking out the door to go get her purse.

I stood up and started following her more slowly. I still couldn't believe that I told them I'd do what they said. As I walked out of G Major the only thought in my head was of going home, well to James's apartment, and crying into a carton of Ben and Jerry's chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.

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I took a look in the mirror as the hair stylist turned the chair and wanted to cry. I looked like Sadie. I know Sadie thinks that I'm the special one, the one who everybody remembers after we've left a room. But honestly, the only thing that was mine, was my red hair. It was my form of expressing who I was, nobody else has that hair. So looking at myself in the mirror and seeing Sadie, brought me to tears.

"Jude," Portia said pulling me into her arms for a hug. "Okay, I know that you loved that hair, and although I don't know why, I know what it feels like to have to change for the business."

"But that's the thing," I said pulling away. "I didn't have to change, my album was selling fine when I had red hair. Now I look like everybody else."

"But you have a voice that's different than anybody else," Portia pointed out. She paid the salon and followed Jude out to her car. "Jude, I know that you hate conforming but Darius is known for taking artists to the next level. He will make you world wide."

"What if I don't want world wide?" When Portia froze as she was putting the key into the ignition I knew I had to explain better. "I would love to be known all over the world but for me. This," I said motioning to my hair, "isn't me."

"But it could be," Portia said pulling into the traffic and headed back to G Major.

I didn't speak the rest of the way back to G Major. I knew that Portia spoke the truth. That Darius could probably take me places that I've only dreamed of going but did I really want to get there by dyeing my hair and changing my clothes. Did I want people to buy my music or somebody else's that I'm singing. I've always been about my music and I don't really know how to change that.

"Jude, just give Darius a chance," Portia said before she followed me into G Major.

Okay, I may have a voice that makes heads turn but I have never entered a room and had everybody stop and stare at me before. I mean, I've always wanted it to happen but now that it actually had, I was embarrassed. I smiled sadly at Kwest who was looking so happy that I knew I couldn't tell him how unhappy this was making me. He was finally producing somebody, I couldn't tell him I wanted to walk away.

"Uh…can I talk to you for a minute?" Tommy said grabbing my hand and pulling me into his office. He closed the door and locked it, which didn't bode well for me. He was pissed, which happened often but never at me before. "Why are you doing this?" he finally asked through clenched teeth.

"I have to play the game Darius's way, or I'm done," I said sadly.

"Who cares Jude, then walk. You don't want to be the next Eden and you look damn close," Tommy said shaking his head.

"I thought you liked blondes," I said before I slapped my hand over my mouth. Okay, I so didn't mean to say that. I was suppose to be getting over Tommy. I was suppose to be his friend. I wasn't suppose to whine that he liked blondes, so why can't he like me? 'Oh, wait, that is a great song idea,' I thought mentally storing the idea away.

"Jude, I like blondes, brunettes, black and red," Tommy said throwing his hands up in the air. "It's not the hair color Jude, it's who you are inside."

"You know what Tommy," I said ticked off now too. "You are right, it's not the hair color, it's who I am inside. And I'm the same damn girl I was yesterday, a week ago, hell, a year ago. So I went blonde, big friggen deal. I'm still Jude Harrison, so deal with it." I turned and stormed out of his office and made my way to Studio C where Kwest and I had been working lately. Hopefully he had a song to get my mind off of things.

"Jude," Portia said stepping up beside me. "Don't let Tommy get to you, believe me, if you do, you'll regret it."

"What does that mean?" I asked confused.

"Tommy doesn't like change, it confuses him. He likes things to stay the way they are and now that you are obviously changing it's going to make him uncomfortable. So don't let him get to you," she said patting my shoulder.

"Sounds like you speak from experience," I said wondering how she knew Tommy so well.

"Yeah well, when you marry the idiot and then he walks a month later, you figure these things out," Portia said coldly.

I watched her walk away frozen in place by what she said. I knew Tommy had been married but to Darius's sister. Plus now we all got to work together, this was just getting better and better. I made it to the studio without anyone else stopping me and sat down in my favorite chair with a big sigh. "Kwest, please tell me you have something for me to sing. Like an angry girl song because I'm not in a very good mood."

"Well, Darius picked this out to be your first single," Kwest said uneasily handing me a sheet of paper with the lyrics. It didn't take a genius to figure out that I wasn't going to like the song.

"Dumb Girls?" I asked skeptically. "Does Darius have a problem with girls or something. First Stupid Girl now this, can I sing anything that doesn't make me sound like an idiot."

Kwest smiled. "Read the lyrics Jude." He turned on the music in the background and I flinched as I heard the poppy beat.

He broke my heart today
I don't know what to say
I can't feel a thing at all
I did not see it comin'
Now you just a man that got away
I look at the ground
And give the sky the middle finger
Something inside said
"Here's a day you should remember
So mark it on a wall"

I never believed it could happen to me
Something like this only happens to dumb girls
Taking themselves too seriously
I was so damn smart
I was the one girl
Who never believed it could happen to me
Something like this only happens to somebody else

I miss you so much
Can't stand it
You bring out the blonde in me
'Cause I'm still hanging on
Even though you done me wrong.
And I got the heart to forgive this
But I'd never let you know.
What kind of girl would put herself
In that position?
yeah
To think that I could ever fight the system
And I got fooled again

I never believed it could happen to me
Something like this only happens to dumb girls
Taking themselves too seriously
I was so damn smart
I was the one girl
Who never believed it could happen to me
Something like this only happens to somebody else

I thought I was strong (I thought I was strong)
But I was just dreamin'
I can't believe it (can't believe it)
That nothing was wrong (nothing was wrong)
I thought I knew what was goin' on
But love was deceiving me (love was deceiving me)
Now I'm just a dumb girl
yeah
A dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb girl
That's what I am
yeah, yeah

I can't believe that it happened to me
Something like this only happens to dumb girls
Taking themselves too seriously
I was so damn smart, yeah
I was the one girl
Who never believed it could happen to me
Something like this only happens to somebody else

(only shit like this would happen to me)
Can't believe this shit could happen to me
yeah, yeah
'Cause something like this only happens to somebody else

I guess I'm just a dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb girl
That's what I am
Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb girl

"There is no way I am releasing this as my first single," I said glaring at the sheet of paper like if I stared hard enough, it would disappear. "This sounds like Eden or Hilary Duff. I don't do pop."

"I remember somebody saying they'd do whatever I say," Darius said from behind me.

'Crap,' I thought, my big mouth was already getting me into trouble and the day wasn't even half over. "Darius, do you think you could maybe take a look at some of the songs we wrote over the tour. I think they're pretty good."

"No, I like this one. Teenage girls will relate to it and it's young and fresh. Get started on it Kwest. I want a rough copy on my desk by close of business today." He walked out of the room leaving me hanging once again. What is with him and not even listening to a word I say. He won't even look at my songs. Okay so only like five of them were worth a look but he won't even look at one.

"Jude, just do it, I promise it'll get better once you start listening," Kwest said getting the sound board ready.

I looked at the lyrics one last time before I made my way into the recording booth. I was going to be the laughingstock of my school once this song hit the radio. This was a pop song and I wanted to literally smack my head into a brick wall more than I wanted to sing this song. It's not that I don't respect pop music, I think Hilary Duff is really talented but I don't want to be her. But as I listened to the music come through the head phones I could see that I was on the road to being her, and I didn't know how to go back.

Please tell me what you think, I really would like to know. Thank you again!