Chapter 8

I skidded to a halt outside of the party room, gaping in awe at the utter chaos that had engulfed it.

To start with, one of the room's walls was just flat out gone, allowing me to catch sight of a fairly large crowd of armed killers attempting - emphasis on attempting - to hold down a rather rotund Luffy. The job was made fairly difficult by the fact that Luffy was flailing around and roaring furiously as he bodily flung the bounty hunters this way and that. Luckily, I could see Miss Monday lying in the middle of the street with a rather painful looking dent in her skull. Un-fortunately, not only could I not see Sanji and Zoro, but I could hear the tell-tale sounds of them fighting in the distance. I had a very bad feeling I knew what had brought that on.

As for Usopp and Nami, they were both handling themselves relatively well against the dozen or so agents that were trying to get them, with Nami employing her staff to admirable effect and Usopp using a variety of ammunition on the thus-occupied bounty hunters.

I contemplated the rolling battle, wondering where I should start...

"CROSS, DUCK!"

Before I was torn out of my musings by Usopp's warning hitting my ears, prompting me to act first and think later as I dropped to my knees. As a result, the lead ball he shot at me whizzed well over my head and slammed into the chest of the man who'd apparently been sneaking up on me.

"Soundbite, keep your ears open, got it?" I growled underneath my breath.

"ROG- MOVE!" Soundbite barked suddenly.

Acting on instinct, I rolled forwards, narrowly dodging a blade that stuck itself in the wooden doorframe where I'd been squatting moments before. I scrambled to my feet... right in front of yet another bounty hunter.

I didn't think. There wasn't any time to think, no time to consider anything akin to a plan, just pure, straight up action. And with that, I rammed my free fist - thumb out, tight but not too tight - straight into the guy's nose. As he staggered back, I followed up with a kick to one of his knees. The joint crumpled under the impact and the man began to keel over, and I finished by bringing my baton down on the back of his skull. If the way he flopped bonelessly was anything to go by, he was down and out.

"BLADE LEFT!"

Acting on Soundbite's warning, I whipped my baton up, barely catching a sword from coming down on me and cleaving my skull open like a rotten melon as I supported the metal pole with both hands. I strained for a moment under the pressure before swiftly swinging my foot up and kicking the guy once, twice in his shin. His stagger gave me just enough time to force my way into his guard and whip my elbow up and into his face, followed swiftly by the palm of my hand ramming into the middle of his forehead.

I glanced around for where to go next...

"BEHIND-!"

Unfortunately, Soundbite was a moment too late as a thin arm, a woman's, wrapped itself around my neck and something was pressed to my temple.

"Alright you two, surrender quietly or your friend here-!"

THUNK!

"Grgh..." the woman gurgled as she slumped away from me, a glance downwards showing a large lump rapidly blossoming on her forehead.

I breathed a sigh of relief as I took a step back, my back coming into contact with Nami's. "Thanks for the save. Sorry, I should have- GRGH!" I warded off a guy who wandered too close with a savage kick. "Been faster!"

"Don't - ragh! - beat yourself up about it!" Nami managed to bite out. "We all make mistakes. To be - honest! - two people is pretty impressive, especially without anything heavier than that dinky baton of yours."

"H- HEY!" I yelped as I rammed my shoulder into an opening I managed to notice. "I'll have you know that tactical batons are simultaneously strong, subtle, and have been used for plenty of cases of police- brutality!" I brought the weapon down on the elbow of an arm I'd grabbed, the resulting crack sounding very reassuring to me.

"Whatever." Nami's voice gave the impression of rolling her eyes in good-natured exasperation. "Anyways, you're doing alright for your first fight. I thought you'd said you'd never actually fought before?"

"I haven't! But I do have a demon of a little brother back home," I explained, frowning at the mere thought of the little shithead. "One who has a tendency for hair-pulling and other forms of foul play. Just thought it'd be best to emulate him for once. I'll be honest, this is working out!" I shot my baton out and caught a guy - the second one I'd taken down, actually - in the throat before grabbing his hair and bringing his face down to meet my knee. "Better than I thought it would!"

"Yeah, and I think I know why," Nami grunted. "These guys are meant to be trained professionals! They're used to people with actual skills, not amateurs who come at them like rabid dogs!"

"Rabid dog, huh?" I huffed out as a slightly vicious grin spread across my mouth. "I actually think I can live with tha-!"

"GUM-GUM!"

I cut myself off with a yelp as I dove to the floor, followed closely by Nami and Usopp.

"WHIP!"

Not a moment too soon; a second later, a long elastic limb swung through the air above us, bowling over the rest of the agents who were still standing in a single definitive strike.

I lay prone for a second before daring to glance up, taking in the array of unconscious bodies in numb awe. "Well... that works too, I suppose."

"Only when we're not in the line of fire..." Nami growled darkly.

"Ahhh..." Luffy sighed heartily as he ambled over to us, patting his now-flat stomach. "Nothing like a good fight to help with digestion. That was nice!"

"IT'D BE EVEN NICER IF YOU GAVE US A HEADS-UP BEFORE ALMOST TAKING OUR HEADS OFF!" Usopp howled as he sprang to his feet.

Luffy blinked at us in confusion. "But you're all fine, aren't you?"

"ONLY BECAUSE WE KNOW YOU TOO WELL, JACKASS!" Nami and Usopp raged.

"That was a little reckless, Luffy," I concurred.

"Loose cannon, baby!"

Luffy blinked at us for a moment before chuckling and scratching the back of his head sheepishly. "Ah... yeah, you're right. Sorry guys."

"At least you're willing to admit it..." I sighed wearily before glancing at Nami. "Dare I even ask where Zoro and Sanji are?"

As I feared, she jerked her thumb towards the sounds of combat in the distance. "Zoro took down that large woman, Miss Monday, when she tried to cave Usopp's head in with her fist. Unfortunately, that got Sanji going after him as a result. They went that way and haven't come back yet."

"Joy..." I ground out. I considered matters for a moment before speaking. "Alright, seeing how the element of surprise has just been blown to kingdom come, mind if I offer my opinion on what the hell we should do next?"

Luffy shrugged with a large grin. "Sure thing!"

Nami mimicked the action. "I don't see why not."

Usopp glanced around warily for a moment before nodding nervously. "A... alright then. You were right about this town, so..."

"Thank you," I sighed in relief. "Alright, here's what I'm thinking: Usopp, you find a good rooftop and act as support, take out anyone who shows their head and isn't us. Think you can do that?"

Usopp considered my request for a moment before popping a thumbs up and nodding firmly. "Y-yeah! Of course I can?! Who do you take me for, huh? I am the-!"

"Great Captain Usopp, yeah yeah yeah, we know, we know," I rolled my eyes impatiently. "Now get to it, would you?"

"R-right, right!" Usopp yelped, running off to find the nearest ladder or staircase possible.

"Nami," I directed my attention at the orange-haired woman. "You and I are going to be engaging in one of the few pirate activities I think you will enjoy."

"Oh yeah?" Nami cocked an eyebrow doubtfully. "What?"

I grinned and clapped my hands together firmly. "Looting everything that isn't nailed down, and a lot that is!"

I could practically see Nami's eyes flash into beri signs. "You have my attention."

"No shite!" Soundbite chortled.

Ignoring the snail, I went on. "I think Luffy managed to take out the majority of these guys and the rest are probably either heading for the hills or getting caught in Zoro and Sanji's crossfire. Hence, that leaves an entire town of criminals abandoned and ripe for the picking. I imagine you hear opportunity knocking like I do, right?"

Nami allowed a giggle of child-like glee to slip out of her as she nodded eagerly.

Luffy blinked in confusion as he cupped his ears. "I don't hear anything..."

"Figure of speech, Luffy," Nami and I chorused.

"Anyways," I continued. "You head towards Sanji and Zoro and break them up if you can, then send them back here to tie these guys up so that they don't get loose. I'll head in the opposite direction and see what I can turn up. And keep an eye out, alright? There could still be some stragglers hiding here and there, so there's a good chance they could try and jump us. Got it?"

"You got it, big bro!" Nami chirped before skipping - skipping! - away.

I blinked in numb shock as I tried to process what I'd just seen. "O... kay... that was disturbing..."

"I feel... unclean..." Soundbite shivered heavily.

"I haven't been this scared since the last time Grandpa came to visit..." Luffy gulped audibly.

I jerked as I was reminded of my captain's presence. To be specific, I was suddenly all-too-aware of exactly what I'd been saying in his presence.

"Ah, captain, look..." I started uncomfortably. "L... Listen, about the whole 'plans' thing... I-I realize that this is your crew, really. I-if I've been insubordinate or anything-"

"Cross."

I snapped my jaws shut, not because Luffy was angry... but because he was grinning.

"I can't cook."

I blinked in confusion at the non-sequitur. "Uh...?"

"I can't predict the weather," Luffy went on, still grinning serenely. "I can't swing a sword, and I can't lie." His grin widened enough to expose his teeth. "And I'm not that smart, either."

I tried to put the pieces together in vain. "I... Luffy, I don't think I understand."

"Shishishi!" Luffy chuckled as he scratched underneath his nose. "Oh yeah, you weren't there for that, were ya? Ah well. We'll talk about it on the Merry."

"O... kay?" Contrary to what Luffy thought, I actually knew what he was talking about, I just didn't understand why. How did that apply in this context?

"Anyways... weren't you going to tell me what your plan was for me?"

I jerked at the reminder. "Ah-! R-right, right... Luffy-!"

"IGARAPPA!"

BANG!

"GAH!" Luffy grunted as he was suddenly jerked forwards by a number of lumps shooting out of his chest. The lumps remained for a second before Luffy growled and flexed furiously, the lumps flattening out and a spread of buckshot shooting out of his back as he let loose a rabid roar.

"HEY, WATCH IT YOU BASTARDS, THAT WAS DANGEROUS!" my captain roared as he wheeled around and charged in the direction of both the voice and the bullets.

I blinked in surprise as my mind caught up with what had just happened. "Smash..." I finished intelligently.

Soundbite giggled as he watched Luffy roar off. "Puny GOD!"

"That comes later..." I muttered to myself. "For now, just puny Frontier Agents."

"ENOUGH TALK!" Soundbite barked as he jerked his head forwards. "MUSH! MUSH!"

"I'm mushing, I'm mushing..." I complied as I started walking forwards. "But I'm doing it slowly. Right now, we need to talk."

The baby transponder snail blinked in confusion. "WE do?"

"Yes," I pinned him with a glare. "We do." I jerked my thumb over my shoulder. "I got ambushed twice back there, Soundbite. Not once, twice."

"NOT MY FAULT!" Soundbite protested.

"Yes your fault!" I accused firmly. "Soundbite, your hearing is phenomenal. You should have heard that guy outside of the bathroom, you should have warned me about him. Why didn't you?"

The snail hesitated for a moment before glancing away sheepishly. "Wasn't listening..."

"And that almost got us killed."

Soundbite made to say something, then bit his lip and looked away uneasily.

I kept walking for a moment before stopping and sighing. "Soundbite... look, I'm sorry for being so harsh. I realize you're young and I realize you're not used to this, but..." I spread my arms and indicated the town around us. "We're in the Grand Line. We can't afford to freeload anymore, either of us. I'm going to be exercising under Zoro, and frankly? You should exercise too. Or at least, practice. Your powers are as strong as they'll be, at least until your body grows up a bit. Until then, all you can do is refine how you use your powers. Nothing more and nothing less. Understand?"

Soundbite was quiet for the longest time as his eyes swivelled back and forth on his eyestalks, before he gave me a look of pure determination, nodding his head firmly. "Understood."

I smiled and gave his shell a reassuring pat. "Glad to hear it. And I know how you can start. Remember those stragglers I mentioned could still be around?"

Soundbite nodded, though he looked confused.

"Well, I want you to listen for them. Find their heartbeats, find their breathing, find them talking, find anything. Locate anyone left in this town who isn't us and tell me or Nami or anyone else if those people are getting close to them. Do you think you can do that for me?"

Soundbite frowned as he glanced left and right in thought, grinding his teeth slightly. "It's... hard. Need to concentrate... FOCUS A LOT... WEED THEM OUT..."

I shrugged helplessly. "Sorry, Soundbite, but I said it before we went up the Mountain. Nothing worth doing is easy to do. I'm not asking if it's easy or hard, I'm asking whether you can or cannot do it."

"I'll...try..." Soundbite ground out before snapping a glare at me. "Quote Yoda AND DIE."

I chuckled as I raised my hands in surrender. "Not a word."

"GOOD. Now... Quiet."

And with that, I shut up as I started going from house to house, popping the doors open and checking out the insides. As it was, this venture was turning out to be quite profitable indeed. Every residence I checked was quite spartan in nature, and had a not inconsiderable stash of money hidden somewhere within, some in pantries, others beneath mattresses, and so on and so forth. Thankfully I'd managed to find a nice big burlap sack to stash the bills in, and after about two hours and a dozen houses, I was lugging what had to be half of Luffy's bounty in cash.

I had to admit, it was quite the ingenious system; if the residents of Whiskey Peak had pooled the rewards of their bounties in a singular vault, then there would always be a chance of someone getting greedy and pulling off a heist. Foolhardy, on account of the Unluckies and other such threats, but a chance nonetheless. But by spreading the wealth throughout the town, no one person would have too much money on them at once. Most likely Igaram and Vivi's teams had larger shares on account of being Agents, but their strength and positions made any thoughts of stealing from them suicidal at best.

As I made the rounds of the house, Soundbite was uncharacteristically silent, his eyes darting back and forth beneath his clenched eyelids. It was easy to tell that the snail was concentrating as hard as he possibly could, keeping track of however many bounty hunters were left in this town.

Ultimately, this concentration paid off when Soundbite snapped his eyes open just as I was about to make my way out of my fifteenth house. "WAIT," he hissed. "Bounty hunter."

I promptly froze, my hands inches from the doorknob of the still-ajar door. "Where?" I whispered.

"Down the street. He has a gun."

I snorted slightly as I rolled my eyes. Of course he did, why wouldn't he have one?

Alright, alright, no time to panic, just need a quick plan... How to best use noise to take this guy out... the obvious answer was subterfuge, so all I needed was a good tri-

Wait... trick... parlor trick... that was it!

"Can you mimic any of the bountyhunters who are still up?" I asked quietly.

Soundbite muttered under his breath for a second before nodding. "Yeah," he grunted in a foreign voice.

"Alright... here's what I want you to do: swap my voice, and then project it to that guy, while making sure I can hear what he's saying. Can you do it?"

A moment of concentration more and Soundbite nodded firmly. "Say when."

"Okay... okay..." I took a calming breath and pressed myself up against the wall of the house, right next to the door. "Do it."

A second later, an electronic-ish whine sounded in my ear. "You're live."

"Pst. Pst!" I hissed out. "Hey, hey, you!"

"What the-? W-who-?!"

"Shhh! Over here!" I tapped the door slightly, causing it to swing a bit. "Get over here, quietly. One of the pirates is upstairs. We can take him by surprise."

The silence was devastating. For a heart-rending moment, I feared that this wouldn't work...

Until the agent spoke. "Alright. Hang tight..."

I took slow, deep breaths as my heart pounded in my chest, every instant seemingly lasting an eternity as I waited for the right moment.

Finally, Soundbite bit out a nigh imperceptible "Get ready" into my ear.

A second later, the door started to creak open and I caught sight of the side of somebody's face.

With barely a second thought, I sprung at the man, one fist crashing into the side of his face with all my weight behind it while my free hand grabbed the end of his gun's barrel and wrenched. Thankfully, the force and shock factor of my punch was more than enough to cause the man to let go of his weapon as he stumbled in an attempt to catch on to what was going on. Instead of giving the bounty hunter a chance to reorient himself, I jammed the butt of the gun into the guy's gut. As he doubled over, I caught him squarely in the middle of his face with my elbow.

A final overhead swing of the rifle onto the man's head skull put him squarely down for the count.

As I stood there, panting and staring at the prone man in shock, I came to a few realizations: first, I was shaking like I'd been dunked in ice; second, I could feel my heart pumping and roaring in my chest; and third... third was that I had a massive and most likely slightly disturbing grin on my face.

"-ross? Hey, Cross, is this thing working?"

"YERK!" I yelped in shock, jumping almost a foot into the air as Zoro's voice came out of nowhere.

"Yeah, it's working. Cross, you alright?"

"Uh..." I stammered dumbly. Right, right... Soundbite must have made a connection... just... just need to calm down. "Fine. Fine, fine, I'm... I just ambushed another agent, but I'm fine."

"... Cross, did you-?"

"NO!" I winced at how loud that was. "I... I mean no, no. He's fine. I'm fine. I didn't... he's just unconscious, I wouldn't... not that there's anything wrong with that, not if there's any other-!"

"Cross, are you really alright?"

I hesitated slightly as I contemplated my answer before responding. "I... look, Zoro, I know it is distinctly not right to enjoy fighting and violence, I know that... but... the thrill of it all... the rush... that's... that's still safe, right? That's not...?"

"Are you kicking his head in or breaking his bones for kicks?"

"Uh..." I looked down at the unconscious man contemplatively, reassuring myself that yes he was still breathing. "Ah, no, no, I didn't do that. I did what needed to be done, nothing more or less."

"Then you're still sane, Cross. You're still pretty nuts for, well, anyone, but you're not the dangerous kind of nuts. Well... to anyone but yourself, at least. Does that help?"

I considered this for a moment before promptly sagging in relief. "I... I don't think it should but it does. It really does. Thanks, Zoro."

"Great. Anyways, the crap cook and I just finished tying these clowns up and Nami wants to start counting cash. Get over here before she gets it in her mind to get you herself."

I barely choked down a squawk of panic as I grabbed the sack of Beri's I'd accumulated. "On my way!" I grimaced as a thought hit me. "Ah... before I forget, were Mr.9 and Miss Wednesday among the captured? I coulda sworn I caught sight of them when Luffy went to beat down that curly-haired guy."

"Huh? Yeah, we got them. They tried to attack me and the cook while we were fighting. Psh, as though fighting that moron would distract me even remotely enough for that to work. Why do you ask?"

"Perfect..." I ground out, doing my best to keep my exasperation out of my voice. That made things... complicated. Or at least, interesting. "I just wanted to know because they seemed like they had higher ranks than the rest, if their low numbers meant anything. A grunt is one thing, executive officers are another barrel of pitch entirely."

"Fair enough. But don't worry, they're tied up. They won't be causing us any problems."

"Got it, got it..." I nodded slowly to myself. "Well, anyways, I'll be there in a bit. Hang tight." And with that, I jerked my hand across my throat. The second the connection was cut, I let out a slight groan as I looked up at the sky, searching for an answer. Well this was a fine mess. While the sky was dark, we were still early in the timeline, and without Mr. 5 and Valentine putting seemingly lethal pressure on Vivi and Igaram, neither of the two would spill their identities to us.

Some way, somehow, I needed to get the two to divulge their identities to us and explain their stories. Otherwise... well, best not to contemplate those kinds of consequences. Or the body counts that went alongside them.

Well, standing around separated from the crew wouldn't do anything to help. Besides, maybe the walking could help me think of something.

Fifteen minutes later, I was back at the building and my mind was still giving me squat. As it was, my train of thought could be summed up as a frantic repetition of the words 'What-do-I-do-What-do-I-do-What-do-I-do-!?'

"Hey big bro!"

"SONNUVA!" Once again I jerked in shock as a voice, Nami's this time, came straight outta nowhere. I shot a glare at Soundbite. "And you didn't warn me why!?"

"Too FUNNY!" Soundbite snickered.

"Grgh..." I hissed out before taking in Nami's very ecstatic demeanor. "And as for you, what the heck is with the 'big bro' stuff?"

"Anybody who helps me make fifty million beris in a single night is as good as family to me!" Nami chirped eagerly as she yanked the bag of cash I was holding out of my hands.

I blinked at the sum in shock. "You managed to find fifty mil all on your own?"

"Actually, your bag makes it fifty," Nami clarified as she hefted the bag with a squee.

I ran that phrase in my head for a second before giving the navigator a disturbed look. "Did you just figure out how much money that bag has in it with a glance?!"

"It's a gift!" she chirped as she swung the sack up onto her shoulder. "Well! I'm going to go and stow this on the Merry. Go take Sanji's place and tell him to get to work!" And with that, she was off.

I blinked as I tried to come to terms with what had just happened before slowly looking at Soundbite. "That woman is way too scary for someone her size."

"Shh! SHE COULD HEAR YOU!"

"I wouldn't put it past her..."

Moving past that little scene, I went inside the building where the Monster Trio was waiting.

"Hey Cross!" Luffy waved as he eagerly munched down on some of the leftovers. "Have fun?"

"For a certain degree of the word 'fun', anyways," I tilted my hand side-to-side with a grimace before looking at the other two. "What about you guys?"

Sanji coughed uncomfortably as he refused to meet my eyes. "I... overreacted slightly during the fight and Nami got a bit angry with me. Nothing serious."

I swear I could feel a drop of sweat hang from my head as I took in the mass of bruises that adorned Sanji and Zoro's skulls, as well as a few small cuts on Sanji's face and legs. "Yes... I can see that. Anyways..." I jerked a thumb over my shoulder. "Nami wants us to switch out. Grab a bag and start looting, I'll stay here and keep an eye on these clowns."

"Got it," Sanji nodded as he walked off. "I'll grab some food while we're at it. We're running a bit low... Maybe a few barrels of fresh water too..." And with that he was off, muttering out a growing list the entire way.

I watched him leave for a moment before turning and taking stock of our former attackers. The majority of the bounty hunters were still unconscious, their limbs tied behind their backs with several lengths of rope. However, not all of them were dead to the world. As it was, Mister 9, Mister 8 and Miss Wednesday were all still conscious, if badly bruised, and gagged as well as bound. The trio was showing off their mental clarity by pinning us all with furious glares.

I gave the trio a once-over before glancing at Zoro. "They say anything?"

The swordsman scoffed as he poked around in the house's wreckage for a bottle that was still intact. "Nothing worth listening to, anyways."

I hummed in understanding as I contemplated the Frontier Agents; specifically, Miss Wednesday. The second she caught me looking at her, however, she affixed me with a thunderous look. It was quite the expression to behold. In fact, the way she'd been acting the entire time I'd known her actually seemed a bit... familiar...

Wait... could that actually work? It was certainly a possibility, no doubt. After all, Vivi prided herself on not being like that, so maybe...?

There was only one way to find out.

I pointed at Miss Wednesday. "Do you mind if I take her gag out? I want to ask her something."

Luffy and Zoro blinked at me in confusion before shrugging indifferently. "Go ahead."

"Thanks..." I walked up to the bound woman and knelt in front of her, yanking out the cloth lodged between her teeth.

Miss Wednesday spat and gagged for a moment before glaring at me venomously. "What do you want?" she growled.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Vivi was a hell of an actor. If I didn't know the truth about her personality, I'd say she was as much of a bitch as she was making herself out to be.

And it was the sheer disparity between her two personalities that I was banking on.

"What's your name?" I asked.

The 'Agent' cocked her head with a haughty sniff. "Are you daft? You know full well that my name is Miss Wednesday."

I grumbled in exasperation as I rolled my eyes. "Your real name, smartass, not your codename."

I could practically feel Mr. 8's eyes boring into me as the blue-haired woman twitched imperceptibly. "Wh- why do you want to know?"

I shrugged as I maintained my flat stare. "I want to know your family name so that I can confirm a theory I have."

A cold sweat appeared on Miss Wednesday's brow as she swallowed slightly. "What... what are you talking about?"

"You can cut the act, it's written all over you. The way you walk, the way you look at me and my friends, the way you carry yourself..." I tilted my head to the side just so. "You're rich, aren't you?"

That prompted Wednesday to blink in shock. "I... w-what?"

"Your family, they have plenty of money, don't they?" I clarified. "Every one of your mannerisms is textbook blue-blood behavior, the kind that you learn over the course of your whole life, and that can only mean one thing: you're loaded, and you grew up loaded."

Miss Wednesday flapped her jaw uselessly for a moment as she attempted, attempted to come up with an answer. "W-w-what- What does it matter if my family has money?" Her gaze suddenly turned steely. "Are you looking to hold me for ransom or something, hm? Is that it?"

I couldn't help but smile at the deflection. Smart girl, very impressive. Too bad she was a mile off-base. "Not even remotely. I just wanted to confirm that before asking you my real question: why?" Wednesday blinked in shock, but I pressed on before she could respond. "Why are you here? You have money, you have standing, you have things, period. So why join Baroque Works, hm? Why would a pretty girl like you, someone with everything, be slumming with a nefarious criminal organization? And don't try to tell me this isn't a step down from your usual accommodations."

Those questions managed to do the job, putting Miss Wednesday on edge and forcing her to avert her gaze. "I... what... why would you possibly-?"

"I want to know," I asserted firmly, leaning to the side so that I was looking at her straight in the face. "Because tonight, I was attacked by people who were acting with full intent to kill, and as such I want to know why. I want some kind of motivation, I want to know why someone like you would be so willing to kill me. The rest of these chumps? That's easy: they want to get rich, and at least I can understand the idea, even if I don't even remotely respect it.

"But you?" I jabbed my finger at her. "As I said before, you're loaded. You don't need to lower yourself to base violence to get rich because you already are. So what I want to know is why. Why the hell are you here?"

Wednesday bit her lip furiously as she twisted this way and that where she was sitting, wholly unwilling to look at me.

"Was it for the thrill of it?" I demanded. "Were you sick and tired of living a safe and secure life? Because I'll admit, the rush is a hell of a thing. Or maybe it was simply youthful rebellion? Tired of being daddy's precious little princess," I spat the word, causing Wednesday to flinch. "All the time, wanted to escape your sheltered life?" I cast a disdainful glance at Mr. 9. "I seriously doubt you decided to do it for romance, especially not with him..." I then looked at Mr. 8 with a grimace. "And I really hope not with him."

"MMMPH!" The pair roared furiously beneath their gags, though for different reasons.

Meanwhile, Miss Wednesday was outright squirming in her spot, clearly uncomfortable to the extreme. Just one more push...

I made a show of tensing up as a thought hit me. "Or maybe..." I shot an accusing glare at her. "You like it, don't you?"

Wednesday glanced at me in confusion.

"You like causing pain."

And just like that, horror washed across her face, her entire body tensing up as though she'd been struck by lightning "No..." she breathed numbly..

"That's it, isn't it?" I denounced vehemently. "You like hurting people, you like killing them, hunting them down."

"No, no, no..."

"You like torturing them, ending their lives, gaining their trust and stabbing them in the back the second they least suspect it. The entire reason you're here is that you take pleasure out of the suffering of others, suffering that you-!"

"NO!"

I jerked back in shock at the sudden scream, barely managing to keep a victorious grin off my face.

Miss Wednesday was long gone, and in her place sat Princess Nefertari Vivi of Alabasta, huffing and panting furiously as she stared at me with equal parts royal fury and honest desperation.

"That is not true!" Vivi spat heatedly. "You think I like doing this? You think I enjoyed causing so much pain? I hate hurting people! I've hated it my entire life! Every second I've been a part of this organization, every instant I've worked for it, I have had to fight against every fiber of my being to keep going! I promise you, there is not one person on the planet who hates Baroque Works more than I do!"

"Then why join!?" I demanded, getting right up in her face. "Why become a part of it, why climb the ranks until you were mere inches away from the top?! What possible purpose did that serve!?"

"Espionage, primarily."

"Although I wouldn't be surprised if there was a little sabotage in there too, kyahaha!"

My blood ran cold as a very familiar pair of voices sounded out behind me, and judging by the way Vivi suddenly paled in absolute terror, my memory wasn't faulty in this regard.

With an immense amount of dread, I slowly stood up and turned around, taking in the duo that were standing out in the street: a dark-skinned man wearing a trenchcoat and a bubbly woman in a yellow lemon-themed sundress carrying a parasol.

"Honestly now, you've been quite busy..." Miss Valentine mused with a grin. "Haven't you, Princess Nefertari Vivi of Alabasta?"

Luffy blinked at the Officer Agents in confusion. "Who the heck are these guys?" He then twisted his head around to look at Vivi. "And you're a princess? For real?"

All Vivi could manage was a panicked whimper as she trembled in place.

Zoro snorted as he looked them over, his right hand clenched around Wado Ichimonji. "More Baroque Works agents, if I had to guess."

"Yeah..." I grit out darkly. "At a glance, I'm going to say... Mr. 5 and Miss... what, April Fool's Day?"

"Kyahaha!" the woman cackled. "Valentine's Day, actually, but good guess! I'm glad to see that my sunny disposition is so impressionable! Just for that, I'll make your death painless!"

"You should consider yourself lucky," Mr. 5 grunted. "Usually she likes to take her sweet time."

"I'm honored," I drawled sarcastically. Beneath my breath, I hissed at Soundbite out of the corner of my mouth. "Nice job keeping a lookout!"

"I WAS listening!" the baby snail protested. "I heard THEM coming."

"Alright you two, enough of the comedy routine," Zoro growled, sliding Wado Ichimonji out of its sheath. "What do you want?"

"What we want isn't important," Mr. 5 sniffed. "What's important is what our boss wants, and what he wants is her majesty's head served to him on a silver platter, along with her keeper-" He jerked his head at Mr. 8. "Igaram, Commander of the Royal Guard of Alabasta."

"Of course, seeing how you all seem to know so much about our organization," Miss Valentine's grin went from ear to ear, showing off her psychopathy at it's fullest. "We'll need to kill you all as well! Nothing personal, kyahahaha!"

"Yes, because that's exactly the kind of reassurance a person wants to hear." I deadpanned before growling at Soundbite. "Well why the hell didn't you say anything!?"

"I DID SAY something!"

Before I could question what he meant, both Mr. 5 and Miss Valentine fell into ready positions.

"Now then..." the male half of the duo started.

"Let's get started, kyahaha!" the woman finished.

They started to move... and promptly jerked simultaneously before falling face-first to the ground.

I blinked in confusion as I tried to process what the heck had just happened. "Uh...?"

"Kyahahaha!" Soundbite cackled. "I just DIDN'T SAY IT to you!"

"What the hell are you-?!"

"Hey, guys! You alright down there?"

I stared at Soundbite for a second as he belted out Usopp's voice before allowing my jaw to drop open in shock. "That... was genius."

"Thank yoooou!" he sang in response.

"Tch, cocky little shit..." Zoro grunted as he clicked his sword back into its sheath, not even bothering to hide the smirk he was wearing. "We're fine, Usopp. Nice going."

"Yeah, that was a great shot!" Luffy nodded in agreement.

"Uh... y-yeah! Of course it was! After all, what else would you expect from The Great-!"

"We know!" I groaned tiredly. "Look, you can gloat later, when we're out of danger. For now? Soundbite, broadcast to the whole of crew."

One electronic whine later and the snail announced "You're live!"

"Sanji, drop what you're doing and hightail it to the Merry, pronto. Nami, if you're still onboard, stay there. We need to meet up as soon as possible."

I glanced between Vivi and Igaram contemplatively.

"We have a lot to talk about."

-o-

"Alright, you two." I crossed my arms with a huff as I leaned against the Merry's thankfully unmolested main mast. "Start talking: just what in the blue hell have we stumbled ass-backwards into?"

After cutting Vivi and Igaram's binds, we all spent a few minutes relocating to Merry's deck, where our crew had encircled the pair of royals and were watching them curiously.

Vivi, with her hair now let down into a looser and far more comfortable-looking ponytail, looked at us desperately for a moment before hanging her head with a heavy sigh. "How much do you all know about the kingdom of Alabasta?"

"Princess!" Igaram attempted to protest.

"They just saved our lives, Igaram! Even after we tried to kill them!" Vivi cut him off firmly. "They have a right to know!"

The Captain of the Guard hesitated for a second before conceding with a slump of his shoulders.

Vivi stared at him for a moment longer before looking back at us. "As I was saying..."

"We've never heard of it," Nami shrugged.

"Believe it or not, a lot of people in the East Blue would probably be surprised to learn the Grand Line actually has kingdoms, much less any kind of person living in it besides pirates," I added.

"I see..." Vivi nodded slowly. "Well, you have to understand: our home, Alabasta, was once known as one of, if not the most peaceful nation on the Grand Line."

Sanji frowned as he gnawed on his cigarette contemplatively. "When you say 'was'..."

"In recent years, the country has been wracked with rebellion," Vivi lamented miserably, her voice filled with pain and misery. "Not the Revolutionaries, they've never had any quarrels with us, but a truly natural one. There have been riots, uprisings, chaos in general... at first, it appeared like my kingdom, my home was tearing itself apart..."

"Until I discovered- ahem, excuse me, ma, ma, MAH!" Igaram recited hastily. "Until I discovered rumors about the criminal organization known as Baroque Works. They have been using their agents to covertly disseminate unrest amongst the populace, turning the people against the crown. I attempted to discover a motive, but... none were forthcoming."

"When I found out about Baroque Works, I came to Igaram for help," Vivi explained. "I wanted to infiltrate the organization so that I could investigate it from the inside, and discover the identity of their leader, as well as his intentions."

"Damn..." Zoro whistled in awe. "Pretty damn gutsy for a princess."

"You will address Princess Vivi with respect, you-!" Igaram started to bluster before Vivi slapped his arm.

"Igaram!" she huffed. "Apologize to Mister Bushido, now!"

Most of the crew, myself included, hastily whipped our hands up to cover the smirks and scoffs we gave out.

"Mister Bushido?" I couldn't help but ask, gently elbowing him in the side.

Zoro's eye twitched as he let out a growl. "Are you...?"

"I apologize, Mister Bushido," Igaram spoke up, nodding firmly at Zoro.

"THAT'S NOT MY NAME, DAMN IT!" the swordsman roared amidst our renewed laughter.

"A-a-anyways, anyways..." I finally managed to get out. "D-did you manage to figure out what they're after?"

And just like that, the good mood died as Vivi's expression sobered. "Yes, we did. The aim of Baroque Works, the entire reason the organization was created, is to conquer Alabasta. They created and exploited the rebellion, and I need to return home as quickly as possible so that I can expose the truth, before my people unwittingly throw themselves into Baroque Works' clutches."

"I see..." Usopp mused. "That's quite the story..."

"So who's the boss?" Luffy asked eagerly.

"Aye!" I nodded in agreement. "Who's patient zero? Or, well, Mister Zero as it were?"

"DON'T ASK US THAT!" Vivi and Igaram shouted simultaneously.

"You must understand, Bawo- ahem, ma, ma, MAH!- Baroque Works prides itself on secrecy!" Igaram explained hastily. "Mister Zero is already attempting to kill us because we know his identity! Were we to share it with you, then you would become targets as well!"

"Fine by us!" Nami waved her hands hastily with a shaky grin. "We're kind of in over our heads already, I don't want to go any deeper!"

"I do!" I piped up hastily. "This sounds sweet!"

"Bring him on!" Luffy grinned as he pounded his fists together.

"Bring him on! Bring him on!" Soundbite parroted eagerly.

"Anyone who hurts someone as beautiful as you deserves to taste my shoe leather, the hard way," Sanji growled.

"Meh, we can take him," Zoro grunted.

"NO WE CAN'T!" Usopp and Nami roared.

"Look, you're all very strong, you've proven that," Vivi replied, her tone and hands raised placatingly. "But I have to agree with those two. You're no match for Sir Crocodile, one of the Seven Warlords of the Sea."

Vivi immediately clapped her hands over her mouth, her eyes wide in horror. Too late, though. We had all heard it. Nami was hugging herself desperately and Usopp had fainted dead away.

"You just told us," Zoro deadpanned, his jaw and brow twitching furiously.

A heavy silence fell over us all as we all stared at Vivi in shock.

Igaram stared at Vivi in shock.

The rest of the crew and I stared at Vivi in shock.

Mr. 13 and Miss Friday stared at Vivi in... well, honestly, they just seemed to stare from where they were perched on the upper deck's railing, the sunglasses made it hard to tell, but they were sure as heck staring nonetheless.

Then they stared at the rest of as we all took notice of them and stared up in surprise.

After a minute, they glanced at each other for a second before Mr. 13 jumped on Friday's back and she took off, the duo soaring into the heavens.

"The bird and the otter! Who are they?!" Nami shrieked, grabbing Vivi by the collar and shaking her back and forth. "Are they going to report us!? Well!?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." Vivi whimpered as she let herself hang in Nami's grip, tears streaming down her frozen, mortified face.

"Hear that?" I heard Luffy say excitedly behind me. "One of the seven warlords!"

"Yeah, this could be fun," Zoro replied. I barely resisted the urge to facepalm at the arrogant smirk I could hear in his voice.

"Hmm... Crocodile... usually best cooked from frozen, but I suppose I'll be able to make do with raw as well."

I sent a smirk at Igaram as I patted him on the back. "She needs to work on her impulse control a bit, huh?"

"Princess Vivi..." the Captain moaned piteously, burying his face in his hands.

"I'm so sorry, it just slipped out..." Vivi continued to moan, apparently only half-conscious of what she was saying.

"Slipped out!? Now those bastards are going to try and kill us too!" Nami roared at her before finally tossing the princess away and starting to sob piteously, clutching her face in despair. "Not even a full day into the Grand Line and already one of the Warlords wants us dead! This is too much, too much! What did I ever do to deserve this!?"

"Do you want that list chronologically or alphabetically?" I offered.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

"We're lucky, we'll be able to meet him soon."

"I wonder what he's like..."

"Eh, he can't be too tough."

"THAT GOES FOR YOU TOO!" Nami roared at the Monster Trio before turning on her heel and marching away with a huff. "Well, I feel your pain and I'm sorry for the both of you, but this is where we part ways! Hit the road, you two! Cross, help me hoist the sails!"

"Huh?" Luffy blinked in confusion. "Where're we goin'?"

"Anywhere but here! Those bastards don't know what we look like, so we've still got a chance to get away! Now stop lollygagging and hurry-!" Nami cut herself off as she heard the sound of a pencil scratching on paper.

A glance to the side revealed the Unluckies perched back on the ship's railing, with Mr. 13 drawing furiously on a sketchpad. He then proceeded to flip it around and show off a couple pages, each displaying a scary good sketch of one of us, even Soundbite.

"Wow, you're pretty good!" Nami chirped as she clapped her hands eagerly.

"Yeah," I couldn't help but snark up. "Not a bad parlor trick. What else can you do, balance a ball on your nose?"

The otter stared at me flatly for a second before reversing his sketchpad and drawing furiously on it for a minute, flipping through several dozen pages in seconds.

When he was done, he held the book upside down and started to let the pages fall. I blinked in shock at what I saw.

"Wow, a flip book, and with me in it!" I whistled in awe. "Damn that's impressive... so I'm walking along... then I'm getting shot in the leg... and now I'm being disemboweled... and now your partner is... is..." I trailed off as I continued to observe the macabre spectacle. "...Okay, that's just wrong."

His job done, 13 leapt back on Friday and they took off anew, soaring towards the horizon.

"PERFECT, NOW THERE'S NOWHERE LEFT TO RUN!" Nami howled furiously.

Oh like hell I was letting this opportunity slip away!

"Not quite!" I growled as I glanced at Soundbite. "Wake him up, now!"

"BWAAAAAH!" Soundbite complied, blasting a foghorn across the deck and causing Usopp to scramble awake with a shriek.

"Who-wha-where-!?"

I hastily grabbed Usopp's shoulder and oriented him at the retreating pair of assassins. "Targets at 12-o-clock, priority target, shoot them down, now now now!"

What happened next was, in all honesty, a thing of beauty. In the span of a few scant seconds, Usopp snapped his goggles down, whipped his slingshot up, loaded, took aim, and fired.

An instant later, the Unluckies jerked in the sky and plummeted, a faint squawk managing to make its way back to us.

I breathed a sigh of relief as I patted the sniper on the shoulder. "Nicely done."

Usopp blinked out at the sea for a second before looking at me in confusion. "Uh... thanks, I think? What just happened?"

"You just got us off scott free!" Nami squeed exuberantly. "Usopp, if you were anyone else I'd kiss you!"

"... I'll take it."

"Er, Nami?" I couldn't help but speak up hesitantly. "It's not that easy. A, we already messed with Baroque Works by taking out this town, so unless you're willing to kill everyone here..."

Nami gained an uncomfortable expression. "Well..."

"And B..." I pointed at Soundbite with a grimace. "You're sailing with the loudest snail in the world, who now knows one of the most dangerous secrets in the world."

"CROC-O-DILE, CROC-O-DILE, Mister ZERO is CROC-O-DILE!" Soundbite piped up helpfully. Well, his version of it, anyways.

Nami's face immediately fell into a massive scowl. "I am so tempted to eat you right now..."

"It's no use, Nami," Zoro smirked as he patted her on the shoulder. "The fact is, one way or another? We're on Baroque Works' hitlist."

"Sounds like fun to me!" Luffy grinned eagerly.

"We're gonna diiieee..." Nami moaned as she slumped on the deck, clutching her knees to her chest.

"I'm so sorry..." Vivi attempted to comfort her desperately, patting her on the back.

"Um, excuse me?" Igaram spoke up hesitantly. "I realize that we have caused you an immense amount of trouble, but if at all possible, I would like to make one final request of you. For the sake of our nation, Princess Vivi must be returned to Alabasta at all haste. As such, I would request that you transport her home upon your ship. You are all quite powerful, so I imagine that you would be able to handle the Agents that will be sent after us with little problem.

"Please!" Igaram shocked us by falling on his hands and knees and bowing deeply. "You will be rewarded most handsomely, just bring our beloved Princess home, I beg of you!"

"Igaram..." Vivi said quietly.

"Nah, don't worry about it!" Luffy said, grinning as he waved his hand in front of his face. "We'll get her home for you, no problem!"

The rest of the crew, myself included, tensed furiously at the statement, casting panicked glances at Nami.

The orange-haired woman sniffled and sobbed for a moment longer before standing up with a sigh and slapping a hand to her forehead. "Well, I guess if those are the captain's wishes than we don't have a choice. Alright, we'll do it."

I gaped at Nami in blatant shock. "Wait, you're not going to lambast Luffy for passing up your chance to name a price to royalty?!"

Nami blinked and considered for a moment before shrugging indifferently. "Meh, not really. After all..." She suddenly grinned toothily and threw an arm over my shoulders. "You helped me make quite the mint today, big bro! Seventy million berries in a single night? That's practically unheard of outside the bounty hunting business! So..." Nami adopted a contemplative look for a moment. "...Yeah, I'm feeling pretty generous for the moment."

"Blasphemy..." Zoro and Usopp hissed in awe.

"CRAM IT, YOU TWO!"

"Aaaand she's back."

"B-but Igaram!" Vivi protested. "You keep speaking about getting me to Alabasta, keeping me safe, but what about yourself?! I won't just leave you here, I refuse!"

Igaram smiled kindly as he laid a hand on her shoulder. "Fear not, my princess, we shall meet again in Alabasta. You see, I have a plan."

-o-

"That was one of the most terrifying things I've ever seen..." Sanji grit out, puffing on two cigarettes at once as we watched Igaram set sail.

"I guess, but still, you've gotta admit, doing something like that takes real guts," Usopp noted.

"Mmm... yeah, I guess you're right..." the cook conceded.

As our decoy set out into the night, I took the opportunity to tap Vivi on the shoulder to get her attention. "Listen..." I scratched the back of my head sheepishly as I spoke. "About what I said earlier? I'm really sorry about all that. I was coming off an adrenaline high and something didn't feel right about it all, so..."

"No no, it's fine," Vivi raised her hands placatingly. "You weren't in a right state of mind, it's alright. Honestly, I'm grateful. If you hadn't made me break character then, I probably wouldn't have until it was far too late. As it stands..." She smiled gratefully at me. "Without you, neither Igaram or I would still be alive."

I made to respond...

BOOM! FWOOSH!

And was cut off by the horizon becoming fire.

I was slightly aware of a strangled sound crawling out of my throat as I stared at the nigh-unholy bonfire that was lighting up the night. Two pressing questions jumped at me: first, how in holy hell did Igaram survive that?! And second, what the hell did Robin do, detonate a metric ton of water-resistant explosives on top of an underwater volcano or something!?

"THEY GOT TO HIM ALREADY!?" Usopp squawked in panic.

"What kind of monsters are these people?" Sanji breathed as his cigarettes slipped from his lips in shock.

"Hooooly SHIT," Soundbite hissed in agreement.

Luffy snorted murderously as he stared out at the blaze. "Damn it... I LIKED THAT GUY!"

"Nami, how's the Log Pose?" Zoro demanded.

"I-It's set," Nami stammered as she checked the instrument.

"Good. Then we need to set sail immediately," he grunted as he turned on his heel and started to run towards town. "Get moving! The ship's not gonna sail itself!"

And so we all started running towards the Merry... all except for one.

"Vivi, come on!" Nami shook the princess desperately, trying to break her out of her stupor. "We need to get out of here, if they find us-!"

"Nami," I cut her off hastily, pointing out the line of blood that was starting to trail down Vivi's too-tight lip.

Nami stared at Vivi in shock for a second before hastily wrapping her up in a hug, rubbing her back soothingly. "It's alright! We will definitely get you to Alabasta, I promise!" she swore firmly. "I realize that the guys don't seem like much... but they managed to save the East Blue all on their own! A Warlord of the Sea?" She scoffed derisively. "That's nothing!"

Noticing how she was still staring at the fire with dead eyes, I hastily stepped into her line of sight. "Don't look at that, Vivi, don't even think about it. Think about Alabasta, think about your friends, think about your family. Think about every reason you have to stay alive. Think about making those bastards pay!"

That managed to snap Vivi out of her stupor as she sucked in a ragged breath, forcing herself to clench her eyes shut and look away. "C... Carue... w-w-we can't leave without Carue!"

I adopted an expression of despair. "Please tell me you don't mean that 9 guy, if I need to stay on a ship with him any longer than I have to..."

"N-no, no!" Vivi shook her head firmly. "Carue's a duck, a supersonic duck. I lost track of him in the fight! I-I've known him my whole life, I can't leave without him!"

"Soundbite?" I glanced at my snail.

Soundbite listened for a moment before blinking in surprise. "Hiding on THE MERRY!"

"What?! By why would- Ah, right!" Vivi slapped her forehead in realization. "Of course, last place he thought you'd ever look."

"Well come on!" Nami spun Vivi around and gave her a shove. "No more waiting, we need to go, now!"

Vivi stumbled forwards, sparing a final glance at the raging inferno before running at full tilt.

Nami blew out a heavy sigh as we followed behind the Princess. "She's a strong girl..."

"This is about more than just keeping our word now, isn't it?" I asked quietly. "This... this just became personal."

Nami nodded in agreement, a dark scowl painting her face. "Crocodile, and Baroque Works... doing something like this to her after all they've done to her kingdom? To her people? ...Yeah. This is very personal."

I snorted darkly as I looked back ahead, doing the best I could to ignore the slight burning sensation in my chest as I picked up my pace slightly. "Then let's get it done!"

A scant minute of running later and we were back onboard the Merry, with the rest of the guys scrambling to get the sails set and Vivi hugging her oversized duck gratefully.

"I'm so happy you're safe, Carue!" she mumbled into his feathers. "I... I can't imagine what I'd do if I'd lost you too!"

Carue rubbed his childhood friend's back soothingly with one of his wings as he opened his beak. "Qua - on't ever leave you, I pwomise!"

Vivi sniffed as she rubbed his neck gratefully. "Thank you, Carue, you have no idea how much that means to-!"

She, as well as everyone else on board, promptly froze as we processed what the hell had just happened.

Finally, most everyone simply jumped back in shock as they stared at Carue. "YOU CAN TALK!?"

"I CAN TAWK!?" Carue quacked in agreement.

"Pff..."

The reason I said most everyone jumped was that I didn't do the same. Why you ask? Simple.

"PFFHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

I was too busy roaring with laughter as I rolled on the deck, tears flowing and gut heaving as I laughed and laughed and laughed, and Soundbite was right there with me.

"WHAT THE HELL IS SO FUNNY!?" everyone else roared at me, Carue included.

That only got me laughing even harder as I fought to lift a hand and point at Carue. "D-DUCK! DUCK! PFFHAHAHAHAAA!"

"WHAT'S WONG WITH ME BEING A DUCK!?" Carue squawked indignantly.

"N-N-NO!" I managed to get through my howls. "D-D-DONALD! DONALD DUCK! Y-YOU'RE SPEAKING IN DONALD DUCK'S VO-O-OICE, HAHAHAHAAAAA!"

"Who the heck is Donald Duck!?" Nami demanded.

"A-a comedian back home!" I wheezed helplessly. "H-he played this guy with a makebelieve Duck-Zoan Devil Fruit! His recordings are cla-a-assics! C-Carue's speaking in his voice, it's... HAHAHA! Oh man, it's like my childhood is speaking to me!"

"B-but how is that possible!?" Vivi stammered in confusion.

"I think I've got an idea..." Nami mused as she looked at the still-cackling Soundbite.

The baby transponder took a moment to get his laughter back under control before nodding eagerly. "I'M TRANSLATING for HIM! I'M being creative! I'm halping!"

"Nice... nice work, Soundbite!" I wheezed as I managed to work my way back up to my feet. "That's exactly what I was talking about!"

"Well, thanks for letting me shpeak and evewything," Carue said before scowling and flapping his wings energetically. "But does it weally have ta be in thish voish!?"

"YES!" Soundbite and I roared simultaneously, alongside a cackling Luffy.

"Man, your duck's great, Vivi!" Luffy laughed.

"Say 'she sells sea shells' PFFHAHAHA!" I roared.

Carue promptly devolved into a series of murderous and very familiar-sounding grumbling, which only served to set me off once anew.

"OH WOULD YOU SHAD-UACK!"

I blinked in surprise as Carue suddenly devolved into traditional squawking. "What the-? Soundbite, why did you- SOUNDBITE!?" I yelled in shock as I stared at my very empty shoulder.

"What the-!? Where the hell did that little pest go!?" Usopp demanded.

"Shitshitshitshit..." I cursed vehemently as I patted myself down. "Where could he have gone?!"

"Maybe he fell off while he was laughing?"

"No, you don't know Soundbite," I denied as I continued looking around. "He's damn good at multi-tasking, he wouldn't let go without a damn good rea-!" I trailed off into a choked gurgle as for the second time that night a familiar voice sounded behind me.

Moving very slowly, cautious and ready to jerk at the sign of any extra weight on my body, I slowly got to my feet and turned around.

And there she was, sitting on the upper deck's railing, clad in a cowboy-themed uniform that displayed a very generous amount of skin.

She had many names and titles. Devil's Child, sole survivor of Ohara, archaeologist, assassin, pirate, and most likely so many more.

Weighing in at a hefty 79 million, her bounty served to rightfully denote her as one of, if not the most deadly person on our ship at the moment.

One day, she would be a crewmate. One day, I would call her my friend, and we would most likely smile and laugh and cry right alongside one another.

But right here, right now?

At this moment, this woman was my enemy, our enemy... and she'd done something to Soundbite.

And there was nothing I could do about it.

"Hello there," Nico Robin purred coyly. "I'm Miss All Sunday. Pleased to meet you."