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Chapter 17

"Jude," Darius started but I held up a hand to hold him off.

"We'll talk tomorrow, I'll even make it early since I know how much you love early mornings," I said walking right past him.

"Seven am then," Darius said wanting to get the last word in.

"Fine with me," I yelled back without even looking. I made my way towards Kwest, even though he wasn't the producer for me, he was a great producer. If there was one thing I had to do, it was to make that clear to him.

"Tommy inspire that song," Kwest said leaning up against the soundboard.

"Not really, just a few truths that came out over the last 24 hours and I needed to get them out," I said honestly. "Kwest, I don't want you to think this was me thumbing my nose at you. I really respect you as a producer."

"Don't even say it Jude," Kwest said shaking his head. "We can never work as a team, you are a rule breaker and I am all about following the rules and doing what I'm told. It's oil and water, we just don't mix."

"You are talented though," I said pulling him into a hug.

"Darius is pissed," Kwest said into my ear.

"When isn't he?" I teased. We were both smiling as we pulled away. This is the way it should be, parting as friends, not fighting. I looked around until I found Spiederman. He was arguing with Wally and Kyle by the stage. "Bye Kwest," I said over my shoulder as I made my way over there.

"Good luck girl," Kwest called out making me chuckle to myself. He had no idea what I was up against.

"How could you go behind my back like that?" Spied asked them sounding really hurt instead of the anger I had expected.

"Don't take it out on them Spied," I said from behind them.

"Don't protect us Jude, this was our choice," Kyle said before Spied could say anything.

"Yeah, we didn't have to do it," Wally chimed in.

"But you did," Spied said shaking his head. "You two are my best friends. What did we say when we made this band. We play together, always and forever." When Wally and Kyle's faces got red and I giggled Spied hurried to say. "Okay so it sounded better when we were seven but I thought that meant something. I should have been told and not a minute before the performance."

"You're right," I said letting Wally and Kyle know this was more about me then them with my eyes. "I should have told you though, not them."

"Somebody should have," was all he said.

"I should have," I repeated. I took a deep breath and started to eat that crow that I hated. I wasn't big on apologies but he deserved one. "This is your band and I had no right to ask them to go behind your back and I'm sorry about that. Really sorry but you haven't exactly made it easy to ask you for things. I always feel guilty asking you for anything, let alone to perform a song that you damn well know Darius hated."

"What does that mean?" Spied asked confused.

"Dude you're totally turning into Liam Jr.," Kyle said with Wally nodding right beside him. "It's really freaking us out. It use to be about the music and now it's about what the music industry is projecting and how we need to conform to the latest hot item."

"Yeah man, what happened to our music our way?" Wally asked crossing his arms over his chest.

"That wasn't our music," Spied said gesturing towards the stage.

"They helped write it," I said watching as Spied looked back and forth between them. "I couldn't have pulled off that song without them. They were there for me last night and today. Like I said onstage, they might regret it come seven am tomorrow though, Darius is pissed."

"Have I really turned into Liam Jr.?" Spied asked sounding horrified.

"I've totally expected you to come to band practice wearing a tie," Wally said making us all laugh.

"I'm sorry guys," Spied said after a moment. "I guess I just wanted us to go places and Darius kept talking about how if we did this and that we would."

"We are going places, it might just take us a little bit longer. But I think it'll mean more if we do it our way," Kyle said as Wally nodded. They all shared a smile before Kyle stuck a hand out. "We play together."

"Always," Wally added putting his hand on top of Kyle's.

"And forever," Spied finished putting his hand on top of Wally's.

I backed away happy to see the band happy and together again. Even if it was a little cheesy and well…gay. I looked around and saw Sadie sitting on the hood of her car. She waved at me and I made my way over. More crow to eat.

"Hey girl, that was some song," she said patting the hood of her car. I walked over and sat down beside her.

"Had to get a few things off my chest," I said making her laugh.

"A few things, I think I saw Darius having a heart attack," Sadie teased. She got quiet then like she didn't know what else to say. But I had a few things that needed to be said.

"I hated you to Sades," I said softly. I saw her head whip around so she was staring at me in surprise. "Oh I didn't show it and I acted like I didn't care but I hated you. You were always griping at Mom and Dad about how they loved me more but the whole time we were growing up all I heard was why can't you be more like your sister? She gets an A in science, why can't you? Oh your sister got an A in math, guess you didn't study as much, you got a C. I hated being compared to you."

"I never heard them say that," Sadie said looking down at the ground.

"No and I never let it show that it bothered me that much," I admitted. "We are polar opposites Sades but I always thought I could count on you. After Dad left and then you hooked up with Tommy, I felt like I had no one."

"And then you came home and Mom was waiting you thought you finally had someone," Sadie said figuring it all out a lot faster then I thought she would. There she went, surprising me again.

"Yeah, but turns out I was wrong," I said softly. "Jokes on me."

"I'm really sorry about mom, I never thought she'd do that to you either. But Jude I will always be there for you, you have to know that," Sadie said seriously. "You are my only sister and as of right now, my best friend. " When I just stared at her she laughed self consciously. "I know, I have a really funny way of showing it. But I'm getting better. I want us to start fresh and I have a way we can do that."

"How?" I asked confused.

"Well," she said nervously, "we can move in together. You know, be roommates."

"How in the hell are we going to afford that?" I asked laughing at the absurdity of that comment.

"I found a place, not exactly the Ritz but a step up from James's apartment," Sadie said standing up so she could pace back and forth. "It has two bedrooms, so we can both have our own rooms. It's a steal if you consider that it's near the campus for me and only five miles from G Major."

"I don't exactly think I'll be heading to G Major after tomorrow," I pointed out.

"Well then how's this," Sadie said stopping right in front of me. "It's three miles from Tommy's place."

I stared at her in silence finally repeating, "how in the hell can we afford it?"

"With my full time job and well, your income from G Major, we can," Sadie said softly.

"I won't be working at G Major after tomorrow," I repeated wondering if Sadie was going deaf at such a young age.

"Then you'll be picked up at another label and don't even try to tell me you are that worried," Sadie said rolling her eyes. "You never would have performed that song if you thought you'd be throwing away your whole dream."

"True," I admitted shrugging my shoulders. I stared at her and I could literally see the excitement jumping off her. She really wanted this. To share an apartment with me, her little sister. She'd spent most of her life tormenting me and now she wanted us to be bosom buddies. It was a little strange but I only had to think about it for a minute. "Okay, if you want to try it, why not. The worst that could happen is we kill each other."

"It'll never happen," Sadie squealed. She gave me the biggest hug I think I've ever gotten in our history of hugs before she backed away and pulled out her cell phone. "Let me call the place and tell them we'll take it. You'll see sis, we can totally make this work."

I just nodded and watched her walk away. Her excitement was kinda wearing off on me because I found myself thinking about the color scheme of my new room and I wondered if we could section off a portion of the living room for a little music space for me. The fridge was going to be stocked with Mountain Dew and the freezer with cookie dough ice cream, my two vices.

There was only one more person I had to see, the last of my crow to eat. But I couldn't find him anywhere. I asked around only to find out that he'd left shortly after my performance. I remembered how happy he'd looked when I had been onstage and knew it couldn't have been about the song. I took one last look around before I climbed into Sadie's car. The drive back to Mom's was quiet, Sadie probably thinking about the new apartment. My thoughts centered on only one thing, well, person. I wanted Tom Quincy back in my life and I was worried I was too late.


R and R please!