Hey everybody, sorry it's taken so long to updatebut with the long weekend, I was so busy. But I finally found some time to actually type up chapter 19 and post it. Yeah me! Now I love this chapter. I happen to think it's one of the best I've ever written. There is one more chapter so don't think this is the end. Thank you to everybody who read and reviewed, reading them makes me smile. So without further ado, here is my favorite chapter.
Chapter 19
I knocked on Tommy's door but opened it before he could say anything. I wasn't even going to give him a chance to say he was busy or have him say nothing at all. He barely looked up from the box he was filling with all the stuff on his desk before going right back to packing. I couldn't believe that Darius was right, I thought, or I should say hoped, that he had been kidding when he said Tom resigned. But with one box on the floor full and the other he was currently filling, I knew that it was real.
"So you really quit," I said softly. My voice sounded weird to my own ears. It sounded lifeless and dead.
"Resigned actually," Tom replied without looking at me.
"But you love being a producer; and what about your CD you were recording. Darius has rights to everything you recorded here, you can't leave without finishing it," I said walking farther into the room. I wanted to scream when he just kept boxing up his personal items and didn't bother to respond. "And what about me?" I asked softly. I could feel the tears welling behind my eyes but I wanted to get everything out before I cried. I could cry later, when I was all by myself but now, I had to try and get the one person who meant the world to me to stay.
"It's not like you're still going to be working here," he said confused. He had finally stopped putting stuff into his box and was focusing on me.
"What are you talking about?" I asked just as confused. "I just had the best conversation in my whole career, which has been pretty short, with Darius."
"He told me you were done yesterday," he said slowly like he was trying to make sense of what I was talking about.
"Well then that was before he had a million people begging for my latest single and wanting my sophomore album out," I said smiling a little at the thought. Who would have thought that I was the biggest money maker at G Major? Little Jude Harrison was now the best, and she loved it. "Darius didn't fire me and I didn't quit."
"Why would you want to stay here?" Tommy said his frustration evident by the tone of his voice. "He controls everything you do; you can't be the Jude Harrison we both know you want to be."
"Now I can," I stated softly. "I have total control; okay, maybe not total but I have more say in my music and my style. There won't be anymore decisions made without me having some say in them."
"How'd you work that one out?" Tommy asked hiding a smile behind a hand. Anyone could tell by the smug tone of her voice that she was proud of that. Proud of the fact that she went head to head with Darius and came out on top. Hell, he was proud of her.
"Well, I guess I can tell you, even though Darius will have a shit fit," I said walking farther into the office. I sat down in a chair in front of his desk. "G Major is falling down around Darius. He's not making any money, every artist he has signed, with the exception of me, has record sales in the toilet or is taking a break." With that said my mind drifted towards Shay and I wondered if he was okay. He hadn't been around G Major since the tour and he hadn't done anything that she heard of either.
"Jude?" Tommy asked snapping his fingers to get my attention.
"Sorry," I said shaking my head back into focus. "So Darius can't afford to lose me, I'm his money maker. Ergo I get what I want. Life's grand."
"Kwest must be overjoyed that he didn't lose his job then," Tommy said nodding beginning to pack again.
I wanted to scream at him to stop packing but I knew that then I'd have to give him an explanation for the scream and saying 'I can't stand the thought of you leaving because I love you and have to be around you' might sound good in my head but out loud, nada. It will only lead to heartbreak.
"Kwest isn't my producer anymore," I stated finally deciding that I was going to be honest with him; and let's face it. I haven't exactly been honest about anything towards him in long time. It was time to start being the grown up I claimed to be. "I guess you can say, I'm currently producerless, is that a word?"
"Somehow I don't think so," Tommy said smiling a little.
We both got quiet then. I have no idea what Tommy was thinking about but all I could think about was standing up and walking around his desk and pulling his head down so I could give him a kiss. That would definitely get his attention away from packing and make my job easier. I didn't know what words to say to make him stay. I knew I had to apologize but eating crow was so hard.
"I can't believe Darius is letting his biggest money maker be without a producer," Tommy said finally looking at me with a look that made me want to cry. At this moment, he looked like he really cared about me and I wished to God that he did. As more than a friend, more than an artist, I wanted him to love me.
"He isn't," I said softly. "I sorta gave him the impression that I was going to get you to stay." I stood up then and began pacing. "I am sorry Tommy; I've been a royal bitch these past weeks. I could name the million excuses I have but I don't like giving excuses. I was a bitch to you and looking back, you were only trying to be a producer."
"I was trying to be your friend," Tommy said.
I still couldn't read his eyes and the long pauses were starting to get to me. "I know I should stand here and talk about how I need you or my music needs you that I can't do this without you but I'd be lying. I can do this without you. I've proved that just in the last 24 hours. I just don't want too. I like that you push me and never let me settle for anything. You make me want to work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I go to school looking like a zombie half the time and I don't care because I'm doing something great, with you."
"Jude," Tommy said slowly.
"No there's more," I said wondering where all these words were coming from. Five minutes ago I couldn't find anything to say, and now I was dominating the conversation. "When you chose Sadie, wait a minute that was a bad word to use. When you and Sadie started dating, I acted like the jealous immature girl that I claim I'm not. You have every right to date Sadie. She's actually pretty amazing once you get to know her," I said smiling thinking about our new place and all her plans. "So if you want to date her that would be fine with me. Not that you need my permission or anything. No more whiny Jude wanting you all to herself."
"Sadie and I didn't work Jude," Tommy said surprising me. He sat down in his chair and put his head in his hands. "I promised myself I wasn't going to do this. That I wasn't going to say anything. I was going to just leave and let you get on with your life."
"Do what?" I asked. When he looked up, the look in his eyes made me grope blindly for the chair. I had never seen that look in his eyes before, especially directed at me.
"You are amazing Jude Harrison," he said smiling sadly. "You are so damn talented and you have this natural aura that surrounds you that makes people happy to be around you. When I first saw you, I thought great, another garage punk singer without a clue. But I was so damn wrong."
"Tommy," I said surprised to hear all that come out of his mouth. He was never this honest with me before.
"No, it's my turn," he said standing up so he could pace.
"Sadie was just a means of distraction. I didn't feel anything towards her," he admitted. "You know I was married before, after that, I had never planned to fall in love with another woman. Love hurts and just causes pain and I wanted no part in it. But my heart didn't agree with me."
I opened mouth but closed it again. If he was going to say what I was hoping he was going to say, I wanted to just listen. But if he was leading up to still say goodbye, I was so going to kill him.
"I'm leaving because I feel to damn much for you," Tommy finally said turning so he could stare directly in my eyes. I could read everything he was feeling and it brought tears to my eyes. I hated crying and now I was crying in front of him.
"You can't leave," I said standing up wiping the tears away. If he thought he could admit that and still walk away, he truly was an idiot.
"Jude, you are sixteen. It's illegal and you sure as hell no your mom and dad would have me thrown in jail in a heartbeat," he said frustrated.
"Do you know what's been going on in my life Tommy?" I asked finally gaining control of my emotions. "My mom has been lying to me for a long time and my dad. I don't even know what the hell he's doing, let alone if he cares what I'm doing." I walked towards him slowly, not wanting to scare him because he looked like a cornered animal. "I haven't told anybody this but I think you should know that I'm getting emancipated or at least I'm going to court to try and get emancipated. I want control of my life and my money. Nobody is taking advantage of me again and nobody, especially my parents who are more screwed up than anybody I know, is going to tell me what to do.
"I'm moving in with Sadie," I continued. "We rented this apartment and it's nice. So now I've got a home again, I've got my job back, my relationship with my sister is well on its way to being fixed. All I need now is somebody to share it with." I was standing right in front of him, inches between his chest in my face. I stared up into his eyes and smiled, challenging him with the look in my eye. "So are you going to let a little thing like age get in the way of something this good?"
I heard Tommy growl before his arms wrapped around me and he pulled me tightly into his arms. When his lips touched mine, fireworks went off. I felt my legs give out but Tommy supported me and I concentrated on kissing him. I'd only been kissed by two other guys. Shay was a good kisser but it hadn't felt like anything. Spied, on the other hand, had felt like I was kissing my brother. But this, this was magic.
"Jude," Tommy moaned pulling back before leaning in once again. I felt his tongue press against my lips and I opened them slowly. I was finally getting French kissed and it wasn't as gross as I thought it would be. It felt perfect and great and wonderful. But most of all, it felt right.
When he pulled back again I let him go this time. You couldn't even tell by looking at him that he'd been kissing me like mad seconds before. When he just stood there staring at me, I grew uncomfortable and had to say something.
"You can't possibly leave after that," I said softly. "I mean-"
"I love you Jude," Tommy said interrupting me before cupping the back of my head with his hand. He pulled me toward him slowly and kissed me gently. "I love your impossible stubborn streak. I love you with your fiery red hair or with the blonde bombshell look. I love the way you look after a performance. The way you look during a performance. I love the look in your eyes when you are writing a song. I… love… you." Between each word he kissed me gently.
I knew I was staring at him in shock. Here I thought he was going to demand that I say it never happened. I thought I was going to have to watch him walk out of this office, out of G Major and just move on without him. But no, he had to go and tell me he loves me. I love it when he's unpredictable.
