Chapter 26
Cross-Brain AN: If you're wondering what the Cross-Brain is, it's the collective name we've come up with for ourselves, with 'we' being the three collaborative genius minds behind This Bites! The Patient One, invited on due to being a dedicated fan and proving to be an impulsive and creative mastermind, is the Id; CV12Hornet, due to being the voice of extreme reason, is the Superego; and Xomniac, due to being the voice of reason between the two and the original conceiver of the plot in the first place, is the Ego. We just decided to come up with a singular name for ourselves on account of how we work together so well, and we intend to continue doing so for the foreseeable future.
And with that said, on to the part you all care about: the madness!
The falling ship made the next few minutes hectic, to put it mildly; between the flying debris, the remains of the previous crew being flung this way and that, and the fact that the Merry was tossing and thrashing about like a 5-star roller coaster, everyone was scrambling around to keep us from capsizing, even while completely panicking.
Weeeell… almost everyone was panicking, anyways. I was laughing my ass off the entire time. Between the rush of the madness and the legitimately hilarious expressions on everyone's faces, why the hell wouldn't I be laughing!?
Sadly, as they say, all good things must eventually come to an end, and really, despite the galleon outsizing the Merry a good ten-to-one, there was only so much ship that could fall.
Once the waves from the galleon's crash settled down and there was no more stray debris left to fall on us, everyone took a moment to calm down, with most standing around and eyeing the sky nervously as they tried to catch their breath, while the more… weak-willed members of the crew huddled together for safety.
I, for my part, was lying spread-eagled on the deck and giggling myself ten kinds of silly. "Pffhahahahaaaaaa!" I wheezed semi-hysterically, my chest hurting from laughing so much. "That was awesome! Oh, my God, I love this crew so-oo-oooo much! Say, can we go aga—GYERK!"
My innocent question was cut off by Vivi bodily tackling me and repeatedly bouncing my skull off the deck as she throttled me.
"You. Will. Shut. Up. And. Stop. Causing. Things. Like. This. TO. HAPPEN!" Vivi shrieked hysterically, each shake of my neck accompanied by an audible "wocketa" sound. The only reason she didn't keep going until I saw angels was that Carue bodily dragged her off me, and she did not come quietly!
"Thank you, Carue," I wheezed as I massaged my throat.
"Don' thank me, Cwoss, I'm with her, you're nuts!"
"Well, in that case, screw you," I amended in the same tone of voice. "And Vivi? In case you've forgotten, it's on captain's orders that I've been keeping my mouth shut in the first place!"
"What the hell are you—?" Vivi started to snarl before I surreptitiously inclined my head towards the newest member of our crew, who was busy eyeing the fallen galleon's remains. "…ah."
"Yeah…" I nodded in agreement. "And besides, the whole mystery about this is about to become obvious in three… two… one…"
"YEARGH!"
"There it is!" Soundbite snickered as Nami loosed a shriek of mortal terror.
Vivi rolled her eyes at me before moving to Nami's side. "What's wrong, Nami?"
"The Log Pose is broken!" she shouted back.
That got a panicked reaction out of the princess. "WHAT!?" she yelped, grabbing our navigator's wrist and yanking it up to eye level. "Oh, nononono—!" she started to stammer on repeat with all the composure of a barbeque-sauce-soaked cat in a dog pound… that was stuffed to the gills with rocking chairs.
"Broken? I bought the most durable model I could find in Loguetown!" I protested, putting only a token effort into said protest. After all, I was totally confident in the Log's efficacy.
"Nononono—huh? Wait a second…" And so was Vivi, apparently, given how she stopped panicking once she actually got a good look at the thing. "Uh, Nami, what are you talking about? The Log Pose is fine. The glass isn't cracked, the needle's base isn't bent, it's in pristine condition." She cocked an eyebrow appreciatively. "As a matter of fact, now that I get a good look at it, you seem to have kept it in better condition than most usually do. Do you polish it every day?"
"Well, of course, twice a day, I have to—THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" Nami cut herself off with a shriek of rage. "It's pointing to the sky! How can you think it's not broken?"
"Nami," Vivi said sharply, cutting off the navigator's rant before it could start. "I've lived my entire life in the Grand Line, and I've spent the last two years traveling it as part of Baroque Works. If there's one lesson I've learned in that time, it's that the Log Pose is the only reliable guide in this ocean; common sense is a guide for fools. Even on dry land!"
"I can support that as well," came another voice, and Vivi stiffened as Robin approached them. "I've spent the last decade or so traveling these waters, and a malfunctioning Log Pose is not on the long list of incredible things I've seen during that time; if you've followed it this far and the glass is intact, then the Log Pose is functioning fine. It must be pointing to a Sky Island."
"SKY ISLAND? ARE YOU NUTS!? I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE SMART ONE!" Nami snapped before turning a pleading look to Vivi. "Vivi, you don't— can't believe that… can you?"
The grimace Vivi adopted killed any hope Nami might have had. "As much as I hate to say it—" She shot a murderous glare at Robin, who weathered it with her ever-present smile. "And believe me, I do hate to say it…" she muttered before shaking off the expression. "The fact is, given the evidence, I'm more inclined to agree with her theory than yours."
"I'M SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS!" Nami screamed, yanking at her hair in desperation.
"So, what else IS NEW?" Soundbite piped up with a grin. "Besides, how else do you EXPLAIN THAT SHIP FALLING FROM the sky?"
"Hey, look at you being all smart and logical and stuff!" I grinned as I pointed at the snail.
Nami opened her mouth to respond, but no coherent sound came out.
"Uh, actually," Donny spoke up, sticking his flipper into the air. "I can probably explain that. Have any of you ever heard of the Knock-Up Stream?"
His response was silence and blank stares, though Robin looked thoughtful, most likely because she had heard of it before.
"Well, simply put," the purple-banded dugong started to explain. "It's a natural disaster that happens in the Grand Line… about once a week on average, though the location always varies. Subterranean caverns fill up with natural gas, and when the subsequent pressure reaches its breaking point, the roof of the cavern yields, and the escaping gas forms a maelstrom on the surface—"
He trailed off at the blank looks that most of the crew was giving him, and especially at the fact that Mikey was snoring, and slapped his fin to his face with a sigh. "Alright, let me dumb it down for you: gas builds up on the ocean floor. When there's enough of it, it makes a whirlpool, then it makes water shoot up in a geyser about as wide as the Octopus Shogunate, and a few miles tall. They're easily strong enough to send a ship flying higher than the clouds; heck, they could probably send a whole island flying. Did you understand that?"
Everyone started to nod and 'oh' and 'ah' in understanding, obviously accepting the dugong's explanation.
I rolled my eyes with a sigh and prepared to rebut the Dugong… when a much more amusing idea came to me. I glanced at the snail on my shoulder with a slowly widening grin.
"Soundbite, when I say the name 'Phoenix'…" I started before grinning even wider as Soundbite smiled and nodded in agreement. "Perfect. Appropriate music, please, aaand OBJECTION!" I yelled loudly, slamming my hands on a conveniently-placed crate as an intense, suspenseful beat filled the air.
"GAH!" Donny yelped, jerking back in panic. "W-what—!?"
"What the heck are you talking about, Cross?" Zoro asked wearily. "Objection? To what?"
"To Donny's explanation, of course!" I answered as I pointed at the dugong in question. "There is a huge contradiction in his testimony!"
"'Testimony'?" Usopp, Nami, and Vivi repeated in confusion.
Robin, meanwhile, had tilted her head with a smile that said she was going to go along with the turn of events. "A contradiction you say, Mister Tact—Hm?" she tilted her head questioningly before shrugging in acceptance. "Very well, then. A contradiction you say, Mister Lawyer? And what, pray tell, would that contradiction be?"
"Hmph! Really, now, it's completely obvious when you examine the statement!" I sniffed as I held up a piece of paper and tapped it with the back of my hand.
"Uh, Cross, where did you—MMPH!?" Chopper jumped in confusion when Luffy clapped his hands over the reindeer's mouth.
"Shhh, quiet, this is getting good!" Luffy quietly squealed.
"As Donny clearly stated earlier, a Knock-Up Stream is heralded by a massive maelstrom of water draining into the seabed, followed soon after by a gargantuan pillar of water exploding into the air! HOWEVER!" I snapped my finger at Donny, causing him to flinch again. "We saw no such maelstrom or pillar anywhere near us! If it had occurred, we would have obviously borne witness to it! Thus, the obvious conclusion we can draw is that it was not the Knock-Up Stream that caused the ship to fall on us!"
"Grk!" Donny jolted with a stricken expression, obviously taken aback.
The rest of the crew started to mutter amongst themselves in agreement, with Soundbite enhancing it into an incomprehensible mess.
However, Donny wasn't quite done yet, which he demonstrated by regaining his bearings and raising a flipper. "Uh, actually—huh?" the bo-staff wielder tilted his head in confusion. "What? But that doesn't—! Why should I—!? But, but—! Ergh, fine, fine!" He slapped his flipper to his face in exasperation. "Ergh, this is completely nuts, I can't believe I'm doing this… alright, let's just get this over with. HOLD IT!" he barked, snapping his finger up at me.
I jerked back in over-exaggerated shock. "GAH!"
Robin, meanwhile, graced the dugong with an amused smile. "You have something to say, Mister Prosecutor?"
"Mister Prose—why are you playing along with the maddening charade!?" Donny hissed, flailing his flippers in desperation.
"What, you mean you aren't having fun?" Robin asked innocently.
"Grgghrgghh…" Donny's eye twitched furiously before he swapped his gaze over to me. "Alright, look, I wanted to say that the Knock-Up Stream is a massively powerful force of nature! Chances are that it could have struck the ship miles away from here, far from our line of sight, and flung it at us!" Donny slammed his flippers down on the barrel before him. "There is no reason to think that that ship came from anywhere else!"
"GYERK!" I flinched back as the crew started muttering amongst themselves again.
"Hm… Mister Prosecutor does make a valid point…" Robin mused as she rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Your rebuttal, Mister Lawyer? If you cannot come up with an explanation for how the ship fell from the sky, then I will have no choice but to pass my verdict now."
"Did she just say 'verdict'?" Vivi repeated in confusion.
"Yeah, I have no idea what's going on, best to just go with it…" Nami sighed in defeat as she massaged her temples.
"Though you do gotta admit, this is kind of entertaining…" Usopp shrugged.
No sooner had he finished that sentence than Sanji twirled up to where they were sitting, a pair of drinks on the platter he was carrying. "Refreshments for miladies?" he offered Vivi and Nami.
"Oooh, don't mind if I do!" Nami said, eagerly taking one and passing the other to Vivi, who for her part sighed in exasperation.
"Might as well watch the madness…" she grumbled as she took a sip from her straw.
"And where the hell is my drink, swirly brow?"
"In the bathroom, mosshead."
"YOU WANNA SAY THAT TO MY FACE, SHIT COOK?!"
"READ MY LIPS, CRAP SWORD—!"
SLAM! SLAM!
"ORDER! ORDER IN THE COURT!"
"Thank you, Soundbite," Robin nodded appreciatively.
"Go burn, WITCH BITCH!"
"And as for you, Mister Lawyer, your rebuttal?" she said as she moved her gaze on to me.
"Um, er, ah…" I slumped forwards nervously, sweat pouring down my face as I tried to come up with an explanation. Well, at least one that didn't involve extraterrestrial knowledge, anyways.
Donny adopted a cocky expression, puffing his chest out as he smirked at me. "It's over, Cross! You don't have any more angles you can exploit!"
I blinked in realization as I processed his words. "Wait, angle… that's it! HOLD IT!" I barked, jabbing my finger at the amphibious mammal.
"Huh?!" Donny blinked in confusion.
"You have something to say, Mister Lawyer?" Robin asked.
"Indeed I do!" I nodded confidently. "For you see, there is still one angle I can exploit in this case!"
"What!?" my opponent dugong yelped.
"If you would elaborate, Mister Lawyer?" our psuedo-judge requested.
"It's quite simple, ma'am." I nodded as I started tapping on a piece of paper anew. "As you'll recall, my opponent suggested that the ship could have fallen down due to being flung by the Knock-Up Stream. However, there is evidence that contradicts this assertion!"
I pointed straight up. "The angle of the ship's descent itself!"
"Wh-what!?" Donny jerked in shock.
I planted my fists on my hips. "As we all know, if we were to fling an object forwards from us, that object would travel for a distance before finally falling to the earth due to gravity. However, due to its velocity from being flung, it would not fall straight down. Rather…" I snapped my finger out at Donny. "It would fall on a curve!"
"A-a curve?" Donny repeated with a stammer as he tried out to work out what I was saying. "But, w-what does that—GRK!" He stiffened in shock as realization swept over him. "N-no, no you can't mean—!"
"I see you understand!" I smirked. "Indeed, while flung objects descend on a downward curve the ship that fell on us fell straight downwards! Hence, your assertion that it could have been flung here by the Knock-Out Stream is physically impossible!"
"GAH!" Donny recoiled, visibly stricken.
"Furthermore—!"
SLAM!
"GAH!" I jumped in shock when Nami cracked her Clima-Tact over my crate.
"Get to the point or I'll lodge my objection in your skulls," she growled impatiently.
"Aw, just when it was getting good…" Mikey groaned.
SLAM!
"Anyone else have anything they want to add?" the navigator growled as she stood over the thoroughly concussed dugong.
I swallowed before nodding hastily. "T-the fact that the ship fell from straight down means that it only could have fallen off of something from above us! I-I-I realize that it sounds nuts and that there might not appear to be anything in the sky, but…" I gave her a determined look. "The fact is that Sky Island is up there, and our primary priority should be to find some way to get up there."
"The evidence is clear. The court rules in favor of the defendant, Mister Jeremiah Cross," Robin stated, holding up her gavel. "Case—!"
Nami jerked her face up close to Robin's with a growl. "Put that hammer back wherever the hell you got it from, and don't you dare finish that sentence."
Robin slowly lowered her hand with a carefully neutral expression. Then Nami turned her gaze on Soundbite, who promptly ceased the Phoenix Wright soundtrack.
"Good. Now, the best place to get information on… ergh, Sky Island (can't believe I'm actually buying this) is from the ship that came from it in the first place, so—!"
"Hey, guys!" Luffy waved from the part of the wreck he was clambering over. "You gotta check this out! There's something really cool over here!"
"Yeah, there's something over here too!" Usopp called from the part of the ship he was on.
"Wait fo' me, guys!" Carue squawked in agreement, following behind the sniper.
Nami had clearly passed the threshold of normal rage if the downright demonic expression and voice she had as she spoke to Robin again was any indication. "Have you ever wanted to just take a lighter and set the whole world on fire?" she hissed.
Robin took on a slightly far-off look. "Every day for the past twenty years…" she breathed wistfully to herself.
Between that and Nami's rage, I elected to take a big step back from the two of them. "Aaaand that's just disturbing..." I muttered.
"Did you expect anything else from them?" Lassoo huffed tiredly.
I jumped in shock before turning a disbelieving eye on the mutt-gun. "Have you been sleeping this entire time?!"
Lassoo shrugged indifferently as he shifted his not-inconsiderable mass around a bit. "Eh, without a fight, not much reason for me to be awake, is there?"
"A ship NEARLY FELL ON US!" Soundbite squawked indignantly.
Lassoo snorted, rolling onto his back. "Welcome to the Grand Line. Wake me up when there's something for me to actually do." And with that, he let out a snore and presumably fell back to sleep.
"…right!" I clapped my hands firmly, trying desperately to move things along. "So, does anyone have any idea on where this ship is supposed to be from, anyways?"
Thankfully, the dual calls of archaeology and finding some way to fix our Log Pose were enough to draw two-thirds of our crew's female population—I felt a chill run up my spine, originating from the direction of the TDWS. Scratch that, half of our crew's female population, out of their violent delusions.
Robin proceeded to display her ever-impressive skillset, analyzing the corpse in one of the coffins that had fallen on the deck of the Merry and extrapolating the St. Briss's name and origin from there. Honestly, the casualness with which Robin handled the human remains was a little bit disturbing, but it was an impressive enough feat that I could shove the thought to the back of my mind.
Unfortunately, by the time we'd dedicated ourselves to searching the wreck for any clues or answers, it had already sunken beneath the waves. As it was, the Dugongs had to scramble to save our buoyant-as-a-brick captain from going down with a vessel that wasn't his.
Still, in the end, at least we managed to pull out something useful from the ordeal.
"Skypiea…" Nami breathed as she looked over the weathered map she was holding.
"We did it!" Luffy whooped, dancing around hand-in-hand-in-hoof with Usopp and Chopper. "We're actually going to a Sky Island!"
"Sky Island, Sky Island, we're all going to Sky Island!" the other thirds of the Dumbass Trio sang in agreement.
"So, we're actually going up to the sky," Leo mused before glancing at the bo-staff wielder. "You think it's actually possible, Donny?"
"It sounds insane, but…" the dugong trailed off as he looked upwards. "Honestly, the more I see of the Grand Line in general…"
"Common sense is insanity, and insanity is common sense, even I know that," Raphey shrugged indifferently.
"Ah, who the heck cares about the details? The fact is that we're going up to the sky! This is gonna be kickass!" Mikey cackled.
"Down, boy," Boss chuckled as he rapped his fist over the nunchuk-wielder's skull. "We'll get there in time, we just need to figure out how first."
"Well, why don't we ask our resident expert on the Grand Line?" Zoro asked, pointedly turning towards me.
I, in turn, twitched in panic before jerking my head towards our newest crewmate, a rictus grin plastered on my face. "Yes, let's ask Robin. After all, she's been traveling the Grand Line longer than any of us, right? And her first thought was that there was a Sky Island up there."
Zoro, thankfully, redirected his attention, though if I was reading the sudden tension in Robin's stance right, he had just made me more suspicious in her eyes. Nevertheless, she answered, "Well, I've never seen it myself. But to my knowledge, it's more than merely an island; there's an entire sea above us."
Nami groaned. "…Alright, even if we assume that this is all true, how are we supposed to get to the sky in the first place?"
"Mm… it's difficult to say…" Vivi mused, cupping her chin thoughtfully. "I imagine that, with enough expertise, a ship could be engineered to somehow, well, reach the clouds… but the fact remains that the St. Briss looked like a normal ship, so there must be some way up there…"
"I propose looking into Mister Dugong's explanation," Robin offered. "While I agree with Mister Tactician about the Knock-Up Stream not being the reason for the ship coming down on us, he did say that it's capable of sending ships flying, yes?"
"Would it kill you to use our names? There are four 'Mister Dugongs' here," Mikey grumbled, earning a dope-slap from Boss with a mutter that sounded like 'manners.'
"But as it stands, I doubt that the process is as simplistic as that," Robin shrugged, ignoring the amphibians' exchange. "No matter how you look at it, the fact is that we don't have enough information to act on. Perhaps there could be more information on the ship?"
"Then we'll just have to salvage it!" Nami nodded firmly.
There was a brief pause as we digested that idea. "You're insane," Zoro flatly summarized.
"You do weawize dat dat ship outweighed da Mewwy almost ten-pwanks ta one, wight?!" Carue concurred.
"He's right…" I nodded slowly before clapping my hands firmly. "So, if we can't bring the ship to us, then we go to the ship. Usopp, we need diving suits, on the double!"
"Now, hold on there," Boss interrupted. "Why don't you just let my students and I go down? I mean, we can't breathe underwater, no, but we can hold our breaths long enough to fake it! What's wrong with us just going down and getting what we need ourselves?"
"Simple!" I shot back. "You're going down to explore a recently sunken wreck that was presumably packed with dozens of human corpses."
"So!?" Boss snorted.
SPLOOSH!
I didn't even need to turn around to know what had just breached the water behind me. The crew's terror-stricken expressions and the bestial groan that rippled the air were answer enough.
Well, that and Soundbite crowing out a panicked "THAR SHE BLOWS!"
I waited for the sound of the scavenging Sea King to sink back beneath the waves before patting Boss's frozen shoulder. "SO, you're either gonna need more dugongs, or more muscle, if you want to make it down there without becoming intimately familiar with a sea king's internal anatomy." And with that, I shifted my attention over to Usopp. "So, about those diving suits?"
As Usopp got to work jury-rigging a diving rig, I took the opportunity to pull Boss aside for a… relatively private conversation. "I've got a bit of a request for you and your students while you're down there."
Boss cocked his eyebrow at me as he chewed on his cigar. "You mean besides the intel on how to get to the sky we're already looking for?"
"Besides that, yes," I nodded in confirmation. "I'm hoping that you'll be able to find something from Sky Island that the guys will overlook, and honestly, I think you and yours are the best chance we have of finding them."
"Really, now?" He took his cigar out of his mouth and tapped it contemplatively. "And this goal of ours would be…?"
"Seashells."
Both Boss and Soundbite looked at me in shock.
"You're MAD," the snail stated flatly.
"No, I assure you, I'm quite sane," I only half-lied. "I realize it'll be tough, but I'm confident that the shells I want you to find will be down there. Maybe not many, good chance they cracked, but hopefully some survived. They take a variety of shapes and sizes, but they're primarily conical in nature, spirally. Also, unlike normal shells, they'll all be solid colors all the way, instead of a variety. They'll also have moving parts like buttons on them, but you'll want to avoid touching those if you can, alright?"
Boss chewed firmly on his cigar as he contemplated my request before nodding slowly. "Sounds like a challenge… but hell, my students and I love our challenges." He gave me a manly thumbs-up. "We'll get you your shells if they're down there, Cross, you can bet your bottom beri on it!"
I nodded gratefully. "That's all I ask."
A few minutes later, three diving-suited monsters and five martial-artist dugongs dove off the side of the ship, swiftly sinking into the depths and only slowed by the brake a Heavy Point Chopper was operating, while Carue jumped up and down on the oversized bellows Usopp had jury-rigged and Nami, Vivi, and the sniper himself stood by the pipes used to convey both air and sound. In case of the event that they moved too far for us to hear, Sanji had taken Pinky along with him and Zoro had taken Brain… and if the way Soundbite was laughing his head off was any indication, the four were getting along about as well as Zoro and Sanji normally did. I myself was just starting to relax, ambling around towards the stairs to the quarterdeck…
"Mister Tactician, may I have a word, please?"
When I was jerked out of my idle thoughts by a voice that was far too calm for my liking.
"I can make this REALLY loud…" Soundbite muttered beneath his breath.
I felt my teeth dig into my lip as I calmed my nerves before replying. "No, you are going to keep this quiet." I didn't wait for him to respond before turning around to face the positively terrifying pillar of a woman that was our archaeologist. "You have something you want to ask me, Robin?"
Robin—no, 'Devil Child' Nico Robin gave a frigid smile, the motion entirely physical in nature. "I believe it's time you gave me some answers, Mister Tactician." I made to ask what she meant, but the way she stepped forwards and cut me off told me she already knew what I was about to say. "Don't deny it, Mister Tactician, you have information you can't possibly possess. You knew Princess Nefertari's identity before the rest of your comrades even knew Alabasta existed. You knew the capabilities of the Baroque Works Officer Agents without even laying eyes on most of them. You even knew that that ship was going to fall on us. I've relied heavily on eavesdropping since I first ate my Devil Fruit, and as such, I can say with certainty that even with your pet's range—"
"Watch it," Soundbite snarled, starting to vibrate the air with an ever so slight hum.
"—you could not possibly have gathered that much information. So, I want to know how you know."
"…and if I choose not to tell you, Nico Robin?" I finally asked in a low tone of voice. I didn't want to address her like that, but if she was going to play hardball, then I couldn't afford not to play it right back.
Robin stepped even closer, positioning herself just so, so that she was managing to loom, despite she and I being in the same height range. "You're a smart person, Jeremiah. Smart, if slightly foolish. Use your imagination, and rest assured…" She trailed her fingers on my cheek without unfolding her arms. "I won't leave a mark."
Soundbite looked about ready to get violent as I backhanded the limb away and pushed her back.
"I. Am not. Afraid of you," I said calmly and firmly. "And either way, I do plan on telling you what I know, and the dugongs as well. The reason why I haven't is that the information I have is intensely sensitive. And though I want to trust you…" I paused for a moment before sighing heavily. "The fact is that I can't completely until you join this crew. Not hitch a ride with us," I snapped when she started to say something. "Not force your way on, I mean when you actually join, when you consider yourself part of the crew."
I fell silent for a moment as I stared at her before sighing and pinching the bridge of my nose. "The reason Luffy let you onboard and I didn't report you stowing away is that both he and I can see good in you. We know you're not the monster you make yourself out to be, that so many say you are, but as much as I want to, I can't trust you unconditionally until you can do the same in turn. And it's clear from the fact that you refuse to use any of our names as anything but weapons that you don't trust us that much yet. So, I'm sorry, but I can't tell you what I know and why. Not yet."
Robin stared at me with an indecipherable expression, scanning me up and down and obviously searching me for some flaw she could exploit. Roughly a minute later, she smiled again, this time with much more warmth… a little too much for me to think it was sincere, in fact. "Are you certain about that, Cross?" She stepped up close to me… very clo—ooooh, boy, so that was her game. "Are you certain there's… nothing I can do to change your mind?" she purred into my ear. "Nothing at all?"
I absolutely wrestled with my body, making sure to stay absolutely still as I tried to construct a coherent response… and in the end, I could only default to one option.
"I'll tell you everything that I know," I grit out through clenched teeth. "If you do one thing."
"Anything…" Robin breathed, her hand starting to slide somewhere.
I didn't wait to find out where, instead grabbing her wrist and taking a step back from her. "You tell the crew about the day Ohara died."
The change hit Robin like a lightning bolt, every muscle in her body positively locking up and old, deeply ingrained terror flaring up in her eyes as the breath rushed out of her lungs in a ragged, emotion-filled gasp.
Soundbite's eyes widened in shock. "Holy shit…"
"What—?" Robin started before being cut off by a fit of tremors. She was forced to swallow heavily and try to regain control her emotions before trying again. "What do you know about Ohara." It was a demand, not a question.
"More than anyone still alive besides you," I answered quietly, looking her dead in the eye. "Enough to know that what happened was the absolute epitome of a tragedy and an atrocity, and enough to know that the meaning of the word 'Justice' has been irrevocably sullied by what happened. It's one of many reasons why I started the SBS in the first place." I trailed off uncomfortably as I took in the terrified expression Robin bore before speaking again. "Look, I'm sorry I had to use their memories as a weapon, Robin, but the fact is that until you can trust us with that… I can't trust you. Understand?"
Robin's mouth opened and shut helplessly, obviously at a complete and utter loss for words.
Before she could say anything, however, she was broken out of her paralysis by a din of whistling, cymbals, and voices approaching us from a distance. Robin glanced in the direction of the noise before shooting a glare at me that would have been much scarier had she not still been half-panicked.
"This isn't over," she warned me shakily before stalking off, only just managing to pull her devil-may-care façade back into place.
"The absolute hell it is…" I breathed to myself in agreement.
"Ohara?" Soundbite questioned hesitantly.
"Ever see an entire island, people and all, perish in fire in less than an hour?"
"No…" Soundbite shook his head with dread.
"She has; that's what happened to her home when she was eight," I told him solemnly. "She was the only survivor, and the World Government's been hunting her ever since."
Soundbite stiffened before slowly turning his gaze after Robin, finally managing to breathe out an awed "…holy shit…"
I tsked darkly as I marched towards the main deck. "Believe me, Soundbite, there was nothing holy about that day."
Soundbite didn't reply as I approached where the rest of my crewmates were standing, looking up at the massive monkey-themed ship and crew that was pulling up alongside the Merry, their chant of "Salvage! Salvage the Sea!" grating on my ears almost as bad as punk metal. Finally, the ship came to a stop.
"Are we on top of the place where the ship sank?" barked an authoritative voice.
"Aye-aye, captain, sir!" answered the crew.
"Ohhhh…" Soundbite began to sing, prompting me to slap a hand on his shell and force him back in.
"Not a word about the yellow thing that must not be named," I hissed, before considering. "… at least, not until we meet the talking starfish."
"HA!"
"Could you two focus, please!?" Vivi demanded.
"When they say 'captain' and 'sir,' they're talking about me!"
Our attention was drawn back to the odd ship by the bark of the same voice as before, whose owner was revealed to be a bulky, hairy man with wide lips, orange overalls, and a tail (real or not, to this day I neither know nor am eager to find out) standing on the ship's stem. "Prepare to raise the ship! What lies on the bottom now belongs to the king of all salvagers: captain of the Masira Pirates, Masira! Ook kee kee!"
The crew onboard responded with hooting cheers, obviously as pumped up as their captain was.
"Well, these guys are completely nuts…" Nami muttered before looking at me. "Do you think these guys will be a problem, O great and wise tactician, or should we just wait and see?"
I shot her a cocky smirk. "What, you didn't enjoy the surpri—?" THWACK! "YEOWCH!" I yelped, cradling my slugged arm. "Geeze, tough crowd… Alright, alright, I'll handle this. Soundbite, Gastro-Amp. AHOY, THERE!" I waved at Masira in an attempt to draw his attention. "Sorry to bother you, but did you just say that you're getting ready to salvage that ship below us?"
"Huh?" Masira blinked at me in confusion before pumping his chest out. "Yeah, that's right! These waters are my territory; every vessel that sinks in these parts automatically becomes mine!" He scowled challengingly at us. "Why do you ask? You're not trying to take something that belongs to me, are ya?"
I shrugged innocently as I pointed at the crewmates on his ship that were suiting up and preparing to dive, pointedly ignoring the frantic gestures Usopp and Carue were making. "Nah, just trying to tell you that if you're sending anybody down, you should warn them to be careful. We've got our own guys down there, and if you try and lay your hands on them, they're liable to lay their hands on you. And by 'lay their hands on,' I mean they'll put their fists through your helmets."
"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND!?" the majority of my crewmates hollered at me in disbelief.
"Oh, really?" Masira growled. Then, in an impressive display of strength, he leaped the full distance from the bow of his ship to the railing of ours, causing everyone onboard aside from Boss, Robin, and myself to retreat several paces. "And what gives you the idea that you can just invade my territory, steal my property, and threaten my crew?"
"Take a step back, Monkey-Breath," Lassoo growled, shifting in less than two seconds from a drowsy sunbathing dog to an attack hound, teeth bared at Masira.
"Down, boy," I ordered nonchalantly as I waved him off, cocking an eyebrow at the other pirate's show of machismo. Honestly, Friday and 13 had been way scarier than this guy. Heck, I lived with scarier people. "And to answer your question, simple: the law of finders fucking keepers. We had boots on that ship before it sank. Hell, it literally fell into our laps, almost sinking our ship. We deserve dibs on the salvage."
Masira's stance became less menacing, though he still frowned heavily. "I don't care if you sank that ship or not, the fact is that once it fell beneath the waves, all the treasure on it became mine! Now either get your guys out of there and leave or—!"
"But we don't even want the treasure on board that ship, if there is any!" I hastily interrupted.
"Excuse me!?"
"Will you shut the hell up, woman?" I desperately hissed out of the corner of my mouth, my eyes never leaving Masira.
The ape-man, meanwhile, had crossed his arms and was staring at me curiously. "You don't want treasure? Then what the heck do you want?"
"Information," I said, crossing my arms. "You didn't hear me earlier. When I said that that ship fell into our laps, I wasn't kidding around, I was being literal. That ship fell onto us from out of the freaking sky. We think that it might have come from a Sky Island and we want to follow it up there."
Masira's eyes and mouth both widened in obvious shock. It took a minute or so for him to speak again. "Sky Island? A-are you serious!?"
Nami shot a glare at me as she walked up before holding up her wrist. "See for yourself. I think it's crazy, but, well, the Log doesn't lie… I think…"
Masira's eyes and mouth dropped wide as he took in the abnormally vertical needle. "Shoujou said that the wreck came from out of nowhere…" he breathed before jerking back in shock. "HOLY CRAP, IT REALLY FELL FROM THE SKY!"
"Eeyup!" I nodded in agreement. "And we're searching it now for any clues on how it got up there in the first place! It's a longshot, sure, but worth a try anyway." I snapped my fingers in faux-realization. "Say, how about this? You help us salvage the ship, we'll let you have all the treas—ARGH!" I yelped in agony as Nami grabbed my shoulder in a vice-grip, forcing me to hastily amend what I was saying. "A-a-a percentage of the treasure! To be negotiated at a later date!" I sighed in relief as Nami let me go before grinning eagerly. "So, what do you say, Captain Masira? Think you could help us with this completely impossible journey?"
At that, the ape-man broke into a full-blown grin before shooting a thumbs-up at me. "You got it, kid!"
My eye twitched furiously as my arm jerked towards my belt. "Starting to get a complex about that, either call me by my name or get brained."
Masira chuckled apologetically as he scratched the back of his head, moving down from the railing onto the deck. "Ah, sorry about that. What's your name, then?"
I took a moment to calm myself down before grinning and holding my hand out to the ape-man. "I'm Cross. Jeremiah Cross, third mate of the Straw Hat Pirates."
"Ook kee!?" Masira's jaw dropped wide as he stared at me in shock. "Wait, you mean that you're that Jeremiah Cross? The one who hosts that awesome SBS show?! I thought your voice sounded familiar!" He blushed and scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Ah, man, this is really embarrassing! My brother Shoujou and I are huge fans of your show! Geeze, chances are that he's gonna kill me for being so rude to you! Oh, and you must be Soundbite! Wow, this is such an honor, I'm a great fan!"
All I could do was blink in shock as I processed the new turn of events. "Well, now…"
"Holy wow," Soundbite concurred.
"Good grief…" Lassoo groaned, flopping back onto his stomach.
"H-hey, wait a second!" Chopper yelped hastily, jabbing a finger upwards. "What about our flag?! Our Jolly Roger's emblazoned on the sail and flag! How could you not know it was us!?"
Masira chuckled sheepishly as he scratched the back of his head. "Ah, well, to be honest… I thought that you guys might have been fans of the show too and were showing it! Honest mistake, my bad!"
I nearly face-planted at the absurdity of what I just heard, the weight of the sweatdrop I knew was hanging from my head almost dragging me to the deck. Now I remembered what I'd forgotten about the Saruyama Alliance: both of the brothers had as much common sense as Luffy did. That is to say, none.
"Sorry again about the threats and all that," Masira waved his hand sheepishly. "The other pirates in these waters tend to be rough by nature, and we have our… differences at times, so to speak. My brother and I have had to be protective of our turf, or else our wrecks could be poached by somebody just for the sake of messing with us. But anyways!" He clapped his hands together. "To business! You want that wreck salvaged and searched for information? Then you can bet that my men and I will salvage the heck out of it, no sweat!"
"Perfect!" I gave him an A-OK sign with a grin. "You go ahead and send your crew down to do whatever they were going to do, we'll tell our guys not to beat them to a bloody pulp! Let's do it!"
"ALRIGHT!" Masira whooped as he leaped back over to his own ship and started barking out orders, sending his men scrambling into motion.
"Do you really think this will work?" Vivi asked hesitantly.
"Are you kidding?" I deadpanned, gesturing at Masira. "He and Luffy are going to hit it off as soon as they see each other."
"I don't think that's what Princess Nefertari meant, Mister Jeremiah," Robin noted from where she was standing off to the side.
I glanced at her momentarily before shrugging. "If you're talking about his capabilities as a salvager, then yes, I'm sure; I don't know who gave him his title, but I doubt his crew'd be so enthusiastic in supporting him if he hadn't earned it. Just sit back, and enjoy the show," I said casually as I moved over to the tubes. "Soundbite, think you can—?"
"What's up, Cross?" Soundbite grunted with a familiar scowl.
I sighed in relief before speaking. "Just calling to let you guys know that we have company up here and that you've got some people heading down your way."
"What!?" Soundbite yelped, clenching his left eye shut as he spoke. "Are my beauties alright? Damn it, I'll send the dugongs up! Hang on, we're—!"
"Friendly, friendly company!" I barked, hopefully managing to cut him off. "Geeze, alright, I'll admit I could have worded that better, but seriously…" I sighed and shook my head. "Anyways, there are a few other divers coming your way with equipment to help with the salvaging. Just let them go about their business and this whole thing should go a lot smoother."
"Hang on… yeah, I think I see them now," Zoro confirmed. "Metal suits and… some kind of giant mechanical ribcage?"
"Yeah, that's them," I confirmed.
"Alright, we'll keep Luffy and the dugongs away from them. Thanks, Cross."
"No problem, and good luck." And with that, the connection was closed.
The next few minutes were quite impressive indeed; from the Masira Pirates lowering their cradle to grasp the St. Briss' wreck to Masira blowing a freaking air bubble into and around the thing, these guys amply demonstrated that they were not your run-of-the-mill salvagers. No… these guys blew traditional salvagers a clear mile out of the water.
It was only after Masira jumped in to go down and help our guys investigate that I started really searching the waters around us, scanning the depths for what I knew was to come. After all, once things started to happen, chances were that they would be happening fast whether I liked it or not, and no amount of forewarning would be able to change that.
"Is something amiss, Mister Tactician?"
I glanced back at Robin and started thinking of how to dodge the question, before stopping myself short. Why did I have to dodge the question? Robin had managed to divine that I knew a lot of things that I shouldn't; the fact that she didn't know why yet didn't matter. Honestly, she'd been the only one I'd been trying to hide things from! But now, with that cat out of the bag… eh, screw subtlety! For now, anyways…
"Oh, just waiting for another giant sea turtle to show up," I glibly informed her.
Robin stiffened as she blinked in confusion, obviously taken aback by the apparent non-sequitur. "I beg your pardon?"
I couldn't help but grin as Soundbite tensed on my shoulder and Carue loosed a very panicked squawk. "Aaand there it is. Dontcha love the Grand Line's exquisite sense of timing?"
"What are you—?!" Robin cut herself off with a shocked breath as she stared over the edge of the ship, catching sight of the relatively gargantuan shadow beneath us.
"By the way…" I mused as I took it in. "Now that I think about it, whatever happened to that tortoise you were using as a chauffeur while you were working for the Croc bastard? Banchi, was it?"
"CROSS!"
I rolled my eyes with a fond sigh as an all-too-familiar screech ripped across the ship. "Story for another time, but for now, they're fine, Nami, it won't hurt them!"
The Merry promptly shuddered as the trio's air hoses snapped taut, tilting our ship slightly as they and the cables leading from Masira's ship were dragged straight down.
"…OK, let me qualify that statement…"
"Crooooooss…" Nami scowled, stalking towards me with very twitchy hands.
But surprisingly enough, someone came to my aid this time.
"Leave Cross's neck alone, Nami!" Chopper pleaded desperately. "I know he earns it a lot—!"
"EEYUP!" Soundbite concurred.
"Dat's twue!" Carue nodded.
"Can't argue with that…" Lassoo yawned.
"There is a conspiracy afoot here, I swear…"
"—but if you keep choking Cross, you're liable to do real, lasting damage to his vertebrae!" Chopper finished hastily. "I-I'm not asking you to stop forever, that's unlikely. Just… give him a break for a while, okay?"
Nami rolled her eyes with a growl. "Ugh, fine… if only because we still need this moron's inconsiderate brain for something..."
"Oh, don't worry, Miss Navigator," Robin purred, sending shivers up my spine as I caught a gleam of vengeance in her eye. "I can think of an alternative for venting your frustration in a healthy manner."
I took a nervous step back from the assassin. "…friendly discourse?"
"No."
CHOP!
"Gaack!" I bit out as I doubled over and started coughing, cradling my throat.
"That," Robin finished as the extra hand on my shoulder dissolved into petals.
"How is that a healthy manner!?" Chopper shrieked.
"Are you overlooking the ten-ton turtle that just swallowed our friends?" Nami scowled.
"And besides…" Vivi mused. "It won't cause any permanent damage. Just keep him from being a snarky showoff for a bit."
Chopper made to say something, before pausing thoughtfully. "Well, when you put it that way…"
I swear I felt something snap in the back of my mind as I straightened, glaring daggers at the four of them. "I hope you realize that you're all going to pay dearly for this," I snarled, the hoarseness only making it more menacing. I took a perverse glee in seeing all four of them take a nervous step back.
"H-Hey, c'mon, Cross!" Chopper stammered. "I-I got them to stop strangling you, that counts for something, right?"
"This is not an acceptable alternative, furball!" I bit out viciously. "Ergh, sonnuva—forget it, I'll deal with you all at a later date. For now, brace!"
"What are you—?"
SPLOOSH!
"—AAAGH!"
Usopp's question was cut off in a scream as the ocean's surface exploded, allowing a moderately massive turtle to surface and presumably breathe for a little bit.
I chuckled at everyone flailing to regain their balance before eyeing the shelled Sea King. "So, what does it say about my life so far that I can say without a doubt that that is the second biggest sea turtle any of us have ever seen?"
"WILL YOU ACTUALLY BE SERIOUS FOR A MOMENT?!" Usopp sobbed in panic.
"Usopp's right, Cross!" Vivi concurred desperately. "The guys' air hoses are hanging out of that thing's mouth!"
"DEY'RE GONNA BE EATEN!" Carue squawked, flapping his wings frantically. "DEN WHO'LL FIGHT DA STUPIDWY TOUGH MONSTAHS!?"
"Alright, don't panic, don't panic, don't panic!" Chopper hyperventilated as he jackhammered his hooves against his forehead. "I-I-I just need to make a Sea King grade emetic! Quick! Get me five hundred CCs of freshwater, a thousand kilograms of fecal matter, AND A SYRINGE THE SIZE OF A—!"
THWACK!
"OW!… thank you."
"No problem," I shrugged as I spun my baton back into my pocket. "And besides, I don't think we need to bother trying to make it spit up the ship."
"So, wait, you mean that the guys will be okay?" Nami asked curiously.
I rolled my eyes with a weary sigh. "Yes, they're going to be fine, and no, we don't need to cut their lines to save the Merry. We just need something really shocking to make it drop its jaw. Like, say…night suddenly falling."
Aaaaaand…
Everyone looked around in confusion.
"Was that supposed to do something, Cross?" Vivi asked.
I ground my teeth as I looked upwards. "I said, NIGHT SUDDENLY FALLING!"
C'mon, where the hell was it? I was starting to look bad damn it holy shit that cloud's moving fast and there we go.
"YOUR SENSE of timing SUCKS," Soundbite scoffed.
"Bite—tsk! Ergh, anyways, this is the first time I've been off!" I shot back. "Besides, it's not like the world is on clockwork!"
"He does this often?" Robin asked, not quite as calmly as expected.
"Let me put it this way…" Nami grit out, her eye twitching as she suppressed the urge to panic. "I envy your powers on account of how you can dope-slap Cross whenever he deserves it, anytime, anywhere."
"Pardon me if I don't find that reassuring."
"Cross, what happened to the sky?!" Vivi demanded with far less control than Nami. "Some time-based Devil Fruit or something?!"
"If I knew about a time-based Devil Fruit, I would have eaten it already, and dope-slapped myself before I got you a bounty," I responded. "No, it's not really night. It's just a cloud formation."
"What kind of a cloud formation is that thick!?" our navigator demanded.
I let a devilish grin creep onto my face, then turned back to the turtle, whose mouth was opening. "I'll save that explanation for when the others get back."
SPLOOSH! CRASH!
"HA!" I said as Luffy landed on the deck, unconscious, and Chopper rushed to resuscitate him. "Back on track! Booyah! Can a brother—?" CHOMP! "YEOW!"
"Watch it, white trash."
"…yeah, that's fair."
"Hey, guys," Zoro saluted us as he, Sanji, and the Dugongs clambered onboard, toting bags stuffed with loot. The swordsman dropped his own sack before cocking an eyebrow at me. "You didn't think to mention the turtle?"
"I didn't think it mattered," I shrugged indifferently.
"He does have a point," Boss pointed out.
"Mmrgh…" Zoro finally grunted in agreement.
"But-but-but how did you guys get out?" Usopp sputtered.
"Look, the turtle's mouth is open!" Vivi pointed out.
"Yeah, we noticed that on our way out," Raphey commented with a shrug. "Weird, huh?"
"Weird…" Carue mused. "It awmost wooks… scawed?"
"PHWOO!"
"QUACK!"
Carue was interrupted by Luffy jerking up with a gasp as he spat out a lungful of seawater. That done he blinked stupidly in surprise. "Oh, I'm alive. That's nice." He then looked upwards in confusion. "Huh? Why's it dark out?"
"Oh, it's not night, don't worry," I reassured him, fighting to keep my grin off my face. "We're just under cloud cover. If you think normal clouds cast shades, you should see what entire seas of them are capable of."
Nami mouthed 'seas of them' before stiffening as the blood drained out of her face. Eeeever so slowly, she looked upwards. "No way…" she breathed.
"Ooooh, yes way…" I nodded eagerly. "The Briss came from a small outlier of this thing, but that's the main glut right there. And it's not even the only one in the world, either!"
Nami worked her jaw helplessly for a moment before clenching it shut. "Well… that's me told… so, will something here help us get up there, then?" She gestured weakly at the bags of relics our crewmates had gathered.
"Eh…" I wavered my hand horizontally. "Something Luffy picked up will be useful in the long run, and I'm sure that Robin will appreciate the chance to look over some two-hundred-year-old relics—"
"I would, yes…" Robin mused, licking her lips hungrily as she eyed the bags.
"—plus maybe we can get a good price from some collectors for barely water-damaged South Blue Antiques, buuut…" I shrugged helplessly. "The fact is that we'll be getting the help we need from a who, not a what."
"And this 'who' would be…?" Vivi trailed off questioningly.
SPLOOSH! A massive hand suddenly reached up and grabbed Merry's railing before hauling an even larger mass onto the ship's deck. "Whoo, that was scary! Hey, you guys alright?"
Everyone familiar with Masira stared at him blankly before slowly turning to stare at me.
"You'll thank me later," I preened before addressing the salvager. "And we're fine, thanks. But you should probably tell your guys to cut your salvage cradle loose before you lose your ship, no?"
Masira stiffened with a scowl. "Oh, yeah… damn it, that thing cost us a fortune! Gonna wreck the budget, Shoujou's really going to let me have it. But I guess there's nothing we can do against a monster that big. Alright, boys, I know it's a tragedy, but cut loose the cradle!"
The salvage king's crew's only response was to stammer and shiver incoherently.
"Huh? Guys, what's wrong?"
"C-C-Captain, l-l-l-look!"
It took all I had not to cackle as everyone on the Merry looked in the same direction as the other crew and the sea monster.
"Oh, did I forget to mention?" I asked innocently, my voice sliding across the frigid silence that had frozen the air. "There are people living up there. Those—" I pointed at the literally freaking titanic forms visible in the darkness around us. "Are their shadows. Scary, no?"
Ain't technical truths absolutely hilarious?
The silence lasted a second longer.
Two…
Three…
Then one of the Shandorans' spears twitched, and Soundbite screamed like a little bitch in falsetto.
"MOOOONSTEEEEEEERS!"
And like that, we were off!
-o-
Five minutes later found me rolling on the deck laughing my ass off at my crewmates' reactions. Their faces, the burst of strength that they'd put on to row so fast… downright hilarious, grade A comedy at its utmost finest! So much so that my laughter wasn't even hampered by the fact that Nami was currently doing her idle best to shatter my ribcage with her feet.
"JACKASS! BASTARD! SCUMBUCKET! UNCULTURED POTATO! INCONSIDERATE! ASSHOLE!"
Of course, the fact that she was cursing so much that the dugongs were all standing and watching her with identical blushes may have had something to do with that, too.
It also helped that her kicks didn't hurt that much, so I could keep laughing without worry.
"PFFHAHAHA—OOF!—HAHAHA! OH HOH HOH MY GO-O—ORGH!—OOOD! YOUR FACES! YOUR FA-A—ARGH!—CES! THAT WAS PRICELESS! PRICELESS! PFFHAHAHAHAAAA!"
"Sky Island scary, Sky Island scary, Sky Island scary…" Usopp moaned as he rocked back and forth in a fetal position on the deck. Chopper was hunched over a barrel, scribbling frantically on page after page of a notepad as he tried to figure out the biological logistics of something that broke the square-cube law like a dry twig. He had a look in his eye, yes, but thankfully it was only halfway worrying. Robin was doing her best to maintain her calm exterior; Zoro, Vivi, and Sanji were all watching Nami with varying degrees of satisfaction; Lassoo was, of course, still asleep; and Luffy and Masira were talking animatedly about the shadows.
"Ook kee! Man, so you're really thinking of going up there, huh?" the gorilla-esque man asked excitedly. "I can only imagine what the journey will be like! I'm so jealous!"
"Shishishi! Me too!" Luffy nodded in agreement as he scratched his finger beneath his nose. "I'm really looking forwards to those giants too! I mean, we've met giants before, sure, but never any that big!" His grin widened exponentially. "Oooh, if we're really lucky, then maybe we'll get to fight one!"
"VETO!" Nami snapped, slapping her hand up with an offended roar.
"SECONDED!" Zoro—Zoro, of all people, concurred.
"Wai—pffhahaha… hoo…—wait…" I raised my hand pleadingly. "Wait… I-I might have fibbed a little, alri—?" CRUNCH! "GAH! NOD BY NOZE AGAIN!"
"ASSHOLE!" Nami snarled as she stomped away.
"Grgh…" I gurgled painfully as I jerked my nose back into position and pinched it shut before speaking. "Oww...ergh, look, those shadows were just that: shadows. I won't bore you with the technical details, but simply put, it was just a trick of the light. The people up there have wings, yes, but besides that, there's nothing unusual about them biologically. As far as I know, anyway. Alright?"
Luffy sagged and got pouty, but everyone else relaxed by a fair margin.
"Anyways," I said, turning to Masira. "Thanks for your help, Captain Masira, and sorry about technically kidnapping you from your ship. But, ah… while we have you… seeing how our little makeshift salvage operation was…" I gestured at the array of 'antiques' (read: junk) we'd retrieved and laid out on the deck. "Apparently fruitless, I don't suppose you have any ideas on how to reach Sky Island, do you?"
"Eh, don't worry about the whole 'kidnapping' thing," Masira waved me off carelessly. "We were all in a panic, it was about as much my fault as yours. And besides…" He dug around in his overalls and withdrew an Eternal Pose. "I free-dive a lot, so I carry this around with me in case a current swells up and snatches me from my ship. My crew knows to meet me here if we ever get separated. Which is a good thing either way…" He shot us all a large thumbs up. "Because I think I might know someone who can help you guys with your problem!"
I grinned victoriously amidst everyone's cries of shock and relief. Can you say 'jackpot'?
"Jaya, huh?" Nami read off of the label. "Do you know anything about it, Vivi?"
The princess bit her thumb thoughtfully. "Well… my father and I did stop there a few times going to and from Alabasta, but…" She shook her head in denial. "He, Igaram, Pell, and Chaka always made triply sure that I never went ashore while we were there."
"Good call," I agreed. "The only civilization on the island is Mock Town. It's a pirate town, and about as rough as rough gets."
Masira nodded in agreement. "Cross is right, Mock Town is bad news through and through. Fortunately, our destination is on the other side of the island: our boss's house. Believe me, the boss is a smart man, and he believes in the impossible as much as my brother and I. If anyone knows of a way to reach Sky Island, it'll be him!"
Nami glanced at Luffy and me, and once he nodded and I shot her a thumbs-up, she began issuing the appropriate orders to the rest of the crew.
"So…" she asked me once the ship was as good as autonomous, walking over next to me as she eyed the salvaged objects Robin was poring over. "You said something about a piece here being useful in the long run?"
"Eeyup," I nodded, inching around the arms Robin had set to work as I grasped the handle of the dilapidated waver and carefully dragged it to the side where Nami could look it over. "This sorry thing right here."
Nami took one look at the distinctly ex-vehicle before giving me an unimpressed stare. "You're starting to get on my nerves with the jokes, Cross."
"Hey, no joke this time, I swear," I assured her. "Sure, it needs some serious repair work, but…" I tapped the toe of my boot against the metal orb on the butt of the wreck. "The key component is still intact, and even among its kind, despite its age, it's still an absolute king. Once it's fixed up… well, remember Ace's boat? That's pretty much what this is, save that it's probably even faster."
Nami's unimpressed look faded in favor of contemplation, and then adulation. "I love you again, Cross!" Nami squealed as she flung her arms around my neck before skipping away gleefully.
I stared after her blankly for a moment before giving Soundbite a flat look. "From pissed to in love in ten seconds flat," I deadpanned.
"AND ALL IT took was a PRICELESS and unique bribe," Soundbite snickered.
"You didn't seem all that surprised when I did the same thing," came a nearby, somewhat subdued voice. I glanced back towards Robin who, though her arms were maintaining their diligent archaeology work, was staring straight at me, her expression guarded. Though there was a trace of fear in it. "Mister Jeremiah… I have utilized every means of earning the trust of others over the years except for telling the truth of what happened to me. I will ignore your impossible knowledge for the moment in favor of asking you this: what makes you think that I would change that now?"
I chewed my lip as I contemplated my response. What I wanted to say was that it was because we were the ones Saul had told her about, but it was too soon for that; that kind of a bombshell wouldn't earn her trust, only a snapped neck. As it was, there was only one answer.
"That," I stated neutrally. "Is a question that you and you alone can answer. I am neither capable of nor inclined to try forcing you to tell them. It's not an ultimatum, and there's no time limit. It just… is. When you decide to tell them of your own free will, when you trust them enough to actually join this crew… then I'll tell you."
Her gaze hardened slightly as she looked back down at her work. "You mean then you'll trust me."
"No." Her gaze snapped back up at my statement in surprise. "I already trust you, Robin, to certain degrees and distances. I'm just waiting until we're friends, completely and utterly. And I'll be honest…" I dredged up my memories of the future, of Robin smiling and crying with the crew, of her really opening up. I remembered who she really was… and I smiled. "I'm looking forward to when that day comes."
She stared at me, her arms stilling as she searched my expression for any sign of deception before slowly allowing her arms to dissipate. "You… are an odd person, Cross."
I actually snickered at that, shaking my head sadly. "Oh, you have seen nothing yet, trust me on that!"
FWUM-WUM-WUMP!
"AAAAGH! HELP! WE NEED A DOCTOR!"
I snapped my head up as the sound of three impacts hit the forecastle before scowling darkly. "Allow me to demonstrate." And with that, I marched up the stairs to where Chopper was frantically examining the fallen seagulls.
"THEY'VE BEEN SHOT! THEY'VE BEEN SHOT! SOMEBODY CALL A—"
"YOU'RE THE DOCTOR, dumbass!" Soundbite cackled.
"Oh, right!" Chopper moved to examine them, his expert eyes roving over their bodies while Usopp dismissed the idea of them having been shot, which Chopper disproved by extracting the bullets and displaying them for all to see.
"Well, then, they must have been shot awhile back and only died just now," Nami shrugged carelessly as she looked over the birds. "It's a sad and cruel thing, but it can happen. Sorry, Chopper."
"Yeah, and besides!" Usopp called down from the crow's nest. "Even if they'd been shot, Soundbite would have heard any gunshot within a mile of us! Right, slimeball?"
"EAT MY SHORTS!" Soundbite called up before giving Chopper an apologetic look. "But he is right. I DIDN'T HEAR nuthin'."
"Ah…" Chopper trailed off in an uncomfortable tone as he looked down at the gulls' corpses. "Well… I-I guess it's possible. It's happened before…"
"Just not in this case."
"Huh? Lassoo?" Nami blinked at the dachshund-cannon as he lugged his way up the stairs and approached the bodies. "What are you—?"
Lassoo cut her off by taking a sniff of the bullet Chopper was holding and snorting darkly. "Thought so. Smell it."
Chopper did so, and his pupils promptly dilated. "Gunpowder… this bullet still smells like gunpowder! I-If these birds had been shot even an hour ago, their blood would have washed that smell away!"
"That's because they weren't shot an hour ago, were they?" Lassoo huffed, slowly padding next to me and joining me in glaring forwards.
"Nope," I confirmed, not looking back at the crew as I stared dead ahead over the water. "They were sniped. Pay attention, Usopp, you're witnessing the work of the man who's no doubt destined to be your rival in the far future."
"W-what!?" Usopp stammered in shock. "A-are you sure?"
"Hmm…" I hummed, tapping my chin in faux-thought. "You know what? Let me check."
And with that, I stuck my arm out and put my middle finger on display, glaring dead ahead in challenge all the while.
I waited all of five seconds before snapping my arm down and taking a step to the side.
CRACK!
Not a second too soon, judging by how a patch of Merry's mast splintered from the bullet that ricocheted off of it.
"Oh, yeah," I nodded darkly as I glared at the horizon, daring the jackass to take another shot. "I'm sure." And with that, I wheeled around and marched down the stairs to the main deck. "Look alive, people!" I shouted to my crewmates, who were all staring at me in awe. "We're already in range of the enemy." I blew out a harsh tsk as I caught Luffy's gaze. He looked beyond determined, and more than a bit ticked. "It only gets harder from here on out."
Once Luffy nodded at me, I turned my attention to Boss, who needed no prompting before holding out a rucksack.
"Well, Cross, you were right. There were some fancy seashells down there. How about explaining exactly what they are now?"
I grinned as I took the bag and peered at the collection of shells inside. "They're called Dials. And they're going to help some of us get a lot stronger a lot faster." I rubbed my hands together eagerly as I looked them over. "Alright, let's see what we got…"
-o-
In a calm patch of weather in the second half of the Grand Line, a great white whale-shaped ship sailed through the waters. Since the scuttling of the Oro Jackson, it had become the most recognizable silhouette on the high seas of the New World: Moby Dick, the flagship of the Whitebeard Pirates. Many a pirate had seen the ship and sought after it, attempting to topple its captain, either for Justice or for fame.
All of them met with defeat. Many of them met with death.
But some of them chose to adopt the wise philosophy of 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.' And thus, the Whitebeard Pirates grew stronger with each passing month, the captain's title of 'Strongest Man in the World' untouchable by any save the other Emperors, and they scarcely deemed it worth the effort to try.
With this reputation in mind, it would come as a surprise to many just how nonchalant a typical day aboard the Moby Dick was when there were no storms or enemies to deal with. Looking at the way the crew milled about, it felt more like a closely-knit family than anything. Indeed, it was looking at pirates like this, really looking at them, that would give the vast majority of people in the world cause to wonder if the stereotype about all pirates being evil was true.
"Don don don don!"
Unless, of course, you happened to have upset them at some point recently.
"Pick up the snail," growled a man with a purple jacket and yellow hair, the good mood he was in abruptly soured.
A handful of other men, all of them division commanders of the Whitebeard Pirates, joined Marco as he moved towards the gastropod in question, one of the grunts moving to obey.
"Three in a day? You think he's going to make this a regular thing?" questioned Haruta.
"If he does, he'd better pray that he doesn't make insulting Pops a regular thing," Jozu grumbled as the other crewmate picked up the receiver.
"I still say you're overreacting," stated Vista. "Ace would have made that joke in a heartbeat."
"Yeah, but he's family," Marco growled. Anything further discussion was cut off by the Transponder Snail taking on a cocky expression.
"Hey, Cross? While we're waiting, I HAVE A QUESTION."
"What, Soundbite?"
"MAY I START THE SBS?"
"What? Heck no! That's my right as the show's host! The only one who can start it is—! SON OF A—!"
"HAHAHAHAHA!"
"Ha! Somehow, that joke never gets old," Vista laughed.
"Outfoxed by a snail? Yeah, I can see how that wouldn't get old in a hurry," Namur chuckled.
"You DO realize that this is MY transceiver, right?!"
"YEAH, but you can't USE IT WITHOUT ME! HEEHEEHEEhoohoohoo!"
Some muttering came over the connection, something about "writing Goda-sensei a letter," and "less funny when you're on the receiving end."
Finally, when the laughter both from the other end of the snail's call and on the deck of the Moby Dick died down, Cross spoke up again.
"Ugh… alright. Hello, loyal viewers. First, let me assure you that I don't plan on making it a habit of broadcasting three times a day."
"Aww!"
"Shut up!"
"But as it stands, Soundbite was getting bored—OUCH!"
"LIAR, LIAR!"
"You damn… ugh, alright, so I didn't want to admit I made a mistake with an… unconventional incendiary device that earned me the ire of two of my female crewmates and Sanji, and Chopper has suggested that I stay still while these injuries heal up. So, in light of recent… developments… I decided to retire to the storeroom and take the time to make a short broadcast concerning one of the main reasons I started the SBS in the first place: the existence of good pirates.
"Now, as I said on my first broadcast, good pirates do make up the minority of the population of seafaring rogues. However, the fact remains that they exist. In fact, good pirates make up half the population of the most notorious pirates alive: the Four Emperors, rulers of the second half of the Grand Line. And considering how I've been made aware of the callousness of a remark I made earlier today, I'm going to focus on the greater of these two. Well, greater from my perspective anyway, my captain would say otherwise. Ladies and gentlemen, this broadcast is dedicated to the Whitebeard Pirates."
All those who had previously been scowling blinked in surprise, and the usual hubbub on deck quieted down to nothing.
"…I'll go make sure Pops is listening to this," Marco muttered before taking off and heading for the captain's quarters.
"Yes, and if the Marines didn't want me dead before, this broadcast is going to be the final nail in my coffin. Oh, well, they still have to catch me first. Now, the Whitebeard Pirates… I don't know what many of you listening may have heard about Whitebeard. Let me confirm some of the common rumors: strongest man in the world? True. Gold Roger's old rival? Well, one of them. The man had a lot of rivals. Captain of the biggest pirate fleet in the world? Eh… I'm pretty sure that's true. Let's say he's the captain of the biggest fleet that doesn't hide their numbers. And finally, dangerous to provoke? Oh, yes, that's true, but therein lies the reason I see him as a good pirate. See, the easiest way to make the old man angry enough to bring the entire force of the Whitebeard Pirates down on your head?"
The crew waited…
"Stealing their sake."
Everyone on the deck either faceplanted or roared with laughter. "Pops probably would if it wasn't one of us," Jozu admitted through his chortles.
"And maybe even if it was!" Vista chuckled.
"Sorry, everyone, that was a joke, though I'm not prepared to say it's untrue. But the main way to provoke them? Hurting anyone under their protection."
The deck quieted again.
"See, the Grand Line is a dangerous place. Lots of insanely strong pirates sail the seas, and as I've established, most of them are the stereotypical 'rape, pillage, and plunder' kind. As a result of this, it's not uncommon to find islands that get hit more often than others for food, supplies, or… other resources. Whitebeard and most, if not all of those loyal to him don't approve of such things, which is why they have a habit of claiming those islands as their territory. What benefits do the Whitebeard Pirates reap from that? Places to resupply without fear of arrest? Not really; their strength and reputation ensures that anyway. So, there's no visible benefit to them taking these islands.
"Except… it means that thousands, perhaps millions, live without fear of a pirate attack. And if anyone disagrees with that idea, they will bring the full force of the most powerful crew in the world down on their heads. At Whitebeard's command, dozens of pirate crews, each with the force of an army, would come to avenge anyone who dared to harm one of his territories."
"I think he's made up for that comment earlier today," Blamenco noted. His comment was promptly met with an absolute barrage of hushes.
"And Heaven forbid if you touch a member of his crew. Seriously, just don't do it. Let me see if I can draw a logical outcome here: if the Marines were to successfully capture anyone who followed him, and were stupid enough to broadcast that fact, well, we have an award for such people where I'm from.
"It's called a Darwin Award, always awarded posthumously to those who have performed the world the ultimate good: dying, so that the world's genepool isn't contaminated by their stupidity anymore."
"If he keeps this up, the World Government is going to create that award just so they can give it to him if they capture him," Izo muttered.
"Seriously, how many Marines would die for that? How many people would perish just to make an example? A statement? And even if the Marines triumphed over Whitebeard… would they instantly step in to take over the territories once protected by his name? Or would they leave them to be conquered by other pirates? This, everyone, is why not even the Marines challenge the Whitebeard Pirates: because those pirates are doing their job for them. A job they are unilaterally unable to fulfill."
"Oh, yeah, Izo. They'd definitely do that," Namur said with a smirk. "You know, I say if his crew makes it to the New World, we invite them to join us."
"Namur, Cross's captain is Ace's brother; if they planned on joining us, we'd know by now," Jozu pointed out.
"Actually, now that I think about it, Ace once told me the chances of his brother joining us once he got into the New World," Marco commented, having rejoined them a minute before.
"Oh, yeah? What'd he say?"
Marco grinned fondly. "And I quote: 'About as much as Pops choosing to go dry.'"
It took all of five seconds for that message to sink in, at which point the Whitebeards burst out laughing.
-o-
On an island where no man lived, a group of powerful pirates moved with grace and authority through the streets of a well-constructed city. Varying in size and shape, they nonetheless gave the clear message of authority and power. But more than either of those, they showed beauty. And none more so than the black-haired woman leading them, clad in a blouse and sarong that showed a generous amount of skin, and with a cold beauty about her that while impassive, would make any normal man fall groveling at her feet.
The Kuja Pirates' trek back to the palace after a successful raid at sea to prepare for the feast came to an abrupt halt when their aforementioned beautiful captain stopped, her eyes falling upon a nearby building. A small, mischievous smile came over her face, and she turned towards it. Two taller women, one with green hair and a serpent's tongue and the other with orange hair and a sumo physique, rolled their eyes before following her, and the remainder of the crew followed them without hesitation.
"Off to ruin Nyon's tea-time again are we? Zahaha!" Daisy chuckled behind her mouth.
"I swear, one of these days, the old bat is going to snap and take the Snake Princess's head off…" Ran sighed wearily as she massaged her temple.
"I'm about getting there myself…" Sandersonia hissed out of the corner of her mouth.
"Maybe so, but you can't say that their spats aren't entertaining," Marigold reasoned.
Sandersonia hunched forwards with a snort. "When did I ever say otherwise?"
Pointedly ignoring the musings of her crewmates and siblings, the world-renowned Pirate Empress Boa Hancock strode up to the door of Elder Nyon's favorite tea salon, reared her leg back and slammed her heel into the indent that had formed in the doors on account of her near-daily abuse of them.
"Elder Nyon!" the Empress announced firmly, her voice resonating throughout the shop, and her head tilted so far forward that she was looking up (sure, let's go with that). "Is there a reason you decided not to honor your Empress as she returned from a fruitful voyage? Pray for your own sake that there is a reason, for I shall not!"
Hancock waited for the telltale screech of Nyon's rage at having her tea-time interrupted, eager for yet another chance to strike some more dents into that old bag's leathery hide, and promptly frowned in confusion when she was met with only silence.
She cast a look at Sandersonia without altering her pose. "Has fate been kind and the witch been stricken down by the radiance of my beauty?"
"Uh…" The tallest of the sisters leaned down and gazed into the store. "Not… exactly?"
Hancock straightened her stance and looked into the salon, where she was met with a crowd of Amazons that were collectively staring at something. While most people would have been curious about what everyone was staring at, Hancock was concerned with a far more pressing issue.
Namely, the fact that no one was staring at her.
An ugly scowl painted Hancock's beautiful features as she marched into the salon. "What is the meaning of this?!" she snarled viciously.
The assembled Amazons promptly jerked away from her in terror as they became aware of her presence.
"S-Snake Princess!" a younger blonde member of the Guardian warriors stammered fearfully.
"Saga of—Oh no…" a more rotund warrior gulped.
"Not good…" a large face whimpered from where she was looking in through the window.
Of the crowd, only one didn't react with visible terror. This 'one' was a senior citizen, calmly sipping her tea as she continued to watch the Transponder Snail that was perched on her table. "Ah, so the brat princess has returned, has she? Welcome back, Hancock. Why nyon don't you pull up a seat? I do believe that the show's just getting good."
The Snake Empress cocked an eyebrow in a decidedly unimpressed manner. "'Show'? What are you talking about, you senile old—?"
Hancock was interrupted by the Transponder Snail continuing to speak. "I mean, can you imagine the state that Fishman Island alone would be in if not for Whitebeard? That's an entire kingdom, a member of the World Government no less, at the unabated 'mercy' of whatever pirates or raiders decide to go to it! How hard would it be to maintain a base down there, some coated battleships at most to maintain order? But noooo, the Marines are perfectly content with leaving their bottleneck as is, leaving the protection of Fishman Island solely to Whitebeard. Some might say the Warlord Jinbe does his own part, but he's not so much a part of the Marines as he is the World Government, so in my opinion? That doesn't count!"
Hancock's anger cooled and her eyes widened in surprise; even the fact that it was a male voice couldn't impede the sheer shock of hearing someone outright disparage the Marines like that.
"What is this, Elder Nyon?" she asked, her tone perfectly even.
The Elder's lip quirked up into a smirk as she took a sip of her tea. "Some pirate nyon named Jeremiah Cross got his hands on a government device that let him connect to every Transponder Snail in the world at once. He's been taking nyon the opportunity to tear the 'holy' reputation of the Marines and World Government apart."
"KINDA LIKE HOW fainting on number ninety-nine of a HUNDRED PUSHUPS doesn't count either!"
"THE ABSOLUTE HELL IT DOESN'T, JACKASS!"
"Ah, yes, and that nyon would be the Transponder Snail with which he uses the device, Soundbite. He's quite the riot himself!" Nyon snickered.
"Saga of—How does he speak?" one of the Amazons mused.
The Boa sisters and Nyon stiffened momentarily, prompting Hancock to hastily speak up.
"Well, whether or not you find this 'broadcast' entertaining is entirely irrelevant!" she sniffed haughtily. "The laws of Amazon Lily are clear: the presence of men on this island is strictly prohibited! And as Empress, I deem this law to extend even to the voice of men! As such, Granny Nyon, you will do well to silence that snail at once, or else—"
"Anyway… I've said my fill on Whitebeard and his crew, but I have one more thing to say before I end this. The subject of what fishmen and mermen have endured can wait until another broadcast, that's too broad of a subject with the time I've got now. Someday soon, I'll talk about that, but let me give you a sneak peek now: the most common victimization that would happen to anyone who was left to pirates' mercy on Fishman Island? A hell worse than Impel Down, worse than facing Whitebeard in a temper: the hell that is slavery."
Hancock's words died in her throat as the middle of her back suddenly burned, allowing only a ragged and undignified gurgle to exit. Judging by the sharp hisses at her side and the way Nyon tensed, she was far from the only one affected.
"Now, I can only imagine the skepticism being felt the world over, on account of how the Marines and the World Government supposedly outlawed slavery two hundred years ago, and for the majority of the world, I'm sure that this holds true, but the horrific fact is that the practice is not dead on a global scale, and is still willingly practiced by many. And not just lowlifes, for that matter, not just in the shadows. There are slavehouses operating in broad daylight, peddling human flesh by the boatload, putting prices on lives and selling them to the highest, richest bidders who do so without so much as a hint of remorse.
"And it's not just in the Grand Line either, oh no! The market might be here, but the product? All you need to do is look, and you will find people in chains in the Blues as well, and this is an absolute fact! It's horrific, it's disgusting, it's inhuman… and the worst part of all? The Marines are entirely aware of it, and they don't. Do. A thing. That's just one of the many reasons why I stand opposed to the Marines, and until serious change is brought about, I will bring it up any chance I get! I don't care how suicidal this is, or how likely I am to be killed, this needs to be heard!…somebody has to say this. Somebody has to speak up. For their sakes."
"VIVA LA REVOLUTION!"
"Long live change in any form… because whatever comes after, there is no way it could be worse than what we've got now. That's all I have to say for the time being; don't expect another broadcast today, but as of tomorrow, all bets are off. Until the next time I shed light where darkness is prevalent, and reveal darkness where light is presented, this is Jeremiah Cross—"
"AND SOUNDBITE!"
"—Of the SBS, signing off."
The snail fell asleep the next moment, and for a few seconds, nobody spoke.
"…I hereby deem Jeremiah Cross and any males who associate with him exceptions to the country's law. In voice or in person, they are welcome here," Hancock said quietly.
The Princess's sisters gaped at her in shock.
"Sister—" Marigold started, reaching for her sibling… an action she regretted when Hancock flinched at her touch.
"She's gone back…" Sandersonia whimpered fearfully.
Hancock shivered as she bit her lip in an effort to maintain control, to ignore the burning she could still feel, even after so many years, not even caring how many of her subjects saw her in her moment of weakness.
Finally, she cracked her eyes open and looked at Nyon, a veritable hurricane of emotions whirling in her eyes. "Inform me of when next he broadcasts. I would listen to his words myself."
Nyon snorted at the arrogance of the request, but nodded nevertheless. "Take my snail, I'll just come to you. But do your best to get your own tomorrow!"
Hancock gestured for one of her crewmates to pick up the gastropod before wheeling around and marching out of the salon, shadowed closely by her sisters. Everyone else looked after her in confusion until Elder Nyon spoke again.
"Ah, bending the country's law for someone who speaks up for all of those who are oppressed. It's good to see that our Snake Princess has such a beautiful heart to match her appearance."
Silence fell as those around her processed the words, during which she made the prudent decision to cover her ears. Then the room erupted.
"OH, SNAKE PRINCESS!"
"SHE'S SO BENEVOLENT!"
"AS BEAUTIFUL WITHIN AS WITHOUT!"
"I LOVE YOU, SNAKE PRINCESS!"
Nyon surreptitiously took the flask her serpent handed her and started draining it viciously. 'Urgh, I'm going to need something stronger if I'm going to wash the taste of that bullshit out of my mouth. Now the brat owes me more than ever, and I doubt I'll ever see anything come of it!' Nyon thought with a grimace. Her expression then softened into a somewhat fond smile as she stared out a window and into the sky. 'But speaking of bullshit, at least the World Government has finally been called on its own. To think that one man with a big mouth could have such an effect… Godspeed, Cross. Something tells me you'll need it.'
-o-
Finally, after several long and rather paranoia-ridden hours of sailing, we came within sight of our next real island destination on the Grand Line: the jaws of the Golden Skull, an island of cynicism, heartbreak and shattered dreams; an island that currently held no less than three enemy factions, with one enemy actually counting for two at once.
We were about to dock at Mock Town, the thoroughly rotted cavity of the isle of Jaya.
I blew out a weary breath as I eyed the madhouse of a town we were sailing up to, scanning the ships around us as we pulled ourselves in. "We've really got no other choice but to dock here?" I asked despondently, despite having posed the same question twice in the last hour.
Sanji sighed out a cloud of smoke. "We haven't mysteriously generated any new vegetables since you last asked, Cross. I know you might not like it, but the fact is that we need to resupply. Though…" He grimaced darkly as he took in the… unsanitary state of the town. "I'll admit that I doubt anything we pick up will be quality material."
I sighed. "Alright, if there's no other choice… pass this on to the rest of the crew: if you see a sick old man beside a sick horse, an arrogant masked wrestler, or a fat, hairy man with missing teeth, steer the hell clear if you want to live."
Sanji gave me a cocky look. "What, you don't think we can take them?"
I returned the look with a flat stare. "They're the crewmates of the sniper who saw me flip him off from several miles away."
That caused Sanji to stiffen before he gripped his cigarette with renewed seriousness. "Right… fair enough. And for the record, what does that sniper look like?"
I snorted as I turned and started to walk away. "Wouldn't matter if I told you. He'd literally see any of us coming from a mile aw—ack!" I cut myself off as I caught sight of something a ways away. "Ahhh, sonnuva bitch…"
"What's wrong now, Cross?" Usopp groaned.
I ground my teeth as I nodded my chin down the dock. "That ship over there. Look at it."
Usopp followed my line of sight and caught sight of the oddly structured ship I was staring at. "Huh… yeah, I guess it does look kind of weird. Does it mean something to you?"
I pointed at the mouth-themed Jolly Roger displayed on the ship's upper sail. "Well, that symbol just represents trouble, annoying but manageable." I then scowled as I lowered my finger to indicate the crossed-out smiley face below the upper symbol. "But that? That represents cruel and unusual certain death."
"You can't be serious, Cross; two crews that we can't stand up to on the same island?" Sanji demanded with a snarl.
"Oh, no, you can take those guys, sure," I jerked my head at the ship with a shrug. "They're on a sane level compared to the other guys; heck, you could probably take them all out by yourself without breaking a sweat. No…" I shook my head firmly as I continued to glare at the ship. "It's their patron I'm worried about. Chances are he wouldn't care about us, but…" I finally shrugged my arms with a sigh. "Honestly, I'm just a bit annoyed because we're closer to them than I'd like."
"Would you care to elaborate as to who you're referring to, Mister Jeremiah?"
I raised an eyebrow at Robin. "Really? I'm surprised, Robin, you usually know this stuff." I jerked my thumb at the ship. "I'd especially expect you to recognize the flag of one of the greatest slavers the world's ever known."
Robin took one good look at the ship I was indicating and promptly stiffened. "Ah. Your fears are well-warranted."
"Damn straight."
"Is he that bad, Robin-chwan?" Sanji queried.
"Allow me to put it this way…" the archaeologist sighed despondently. "I've already had one near-death experience with a sadistic Warlord this month. I'm not keen on getting into another."
Sanji and Usopp snapped their gazes back to Bellamy's ship in obvious shock.
"Shit," Sanji summarized succinctly.
"I don't think I wanna dock here anymore…" Usopp whimpered uncomfortably.
A second later, a blood-curdling scream rang out from the town before devolving into a bloody gurgle. Not so much as a single bystander walking along the dock blinked.
"Now I really don't want to dock here anymore…" our sniper sobbed miserably.
"Oh, I don't know," Robin chuckled. "Personally, I find chaos-ridden locales to be quite… comforting." And with that, she shrugged and leapt down onto the dock. "Well, I'll be off. I'm afraid that if I continue borrowing from Vivi and Nami's wardrobes, one of them is going to try to murder me in my sleep."
"You really don't need to say that so matter-of-factly!" I called after her as she slid into the crowd with ease.
"Wait, Robin-chwan, you can't go out there alone!" Sanji cried out, putting his foot on the railing to dive in himself.
"Trust me, Sanji, she knows how to take care of herself," I replied as I grabbed him by the leg.
Before the cook could respond, a scream and the sound of snapping bone and cartilage rang out, followed by a ragged-looking muscleman stumbling into view, clutching a hand that seemed to be all broken fingers.
"Oh, yes, she'll be fine," I drawled.
Soundbite whistled in awe. "And that's the one we CAN SEE. THAT'S JUST COLD-BLOODED."
Sanji hesitated before sighing in defeat. "Yeah, alright, fair enough, but I still need to resupply, so!" He leaped down onto the dock. "I'll be seeing you guys later!"
"Wait up!" a voice barked out, followed by a pink-bandanna-d Dugong flipping her way onto the dock next to the cook. "Take me with you," Raphey pleaded desperately. "I'll act as a pack mule if I need to, but if I swear if I stay on this ship with those numbnuts for a second longer, someone is getting their shell cracked!"
Sanji blinked in surprise before shrugging and gesturing forwards. "Very well, then. After you, milady!"
Raphey snorted as she started wriggling her way down the boardwalk. "Believe me, lover boy, I'm a lot of things, but 'lady' is not one of them."
And with that, the duo made their way into town.
Usopp swallowed uncomfortably as he watched them leave. "Alright, so I guess that just leaves Zoro, Luffy, Masira—"
Without warning, Masira's large mass leapt past us and crashed down onto the dock, splintering the planks as he ran into the town. "Ook kee kee! Come on, Luffy! Let me show you around! The place is nuts, but it can also be fun!"
"Shishishi!" Luffy snickered as he shot past us, hot on Masira's tail. "Wait for me, gorilla-guy!"
Usopp swallowed heavily as our captain fell out of sight. "Ah… okay… still… at least Boss is here—"
"Sorry, but that's in-co-rrect, Usopp!" the Dugong in question barked as he flipped onto the Merry's railing. "Sorry to tell you this, but the fact is that my old rope-dart's starting to get on in age, and if I'm going to be fighting in the future, then I'm going to have to go out and get myself a new one, like a man!" He snapped out a salute. "Wish me luck!" And with that, he backflipped into the bay and out of sight.
Usopp gulped heavily again, visibly sweating by this point before slowly turning a nervous smile at me. "At least… you and Zoro—?"
I winced guiltily as I scratched the back of my head. "Yeeeaaah, loooook…"
"ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!"
"Sorry, Usopp," Nami said, frowning, coming up beside me. "But we've got things we need to talk about."
"And you can't do that here?!"
Nami opened her mouth, then closed it before looking at me. "Actually, why can't we do it here? We can just go to the storage room, nobody can overhear us there."
I shrugged. "Maybe, maybe not, but I wouldn't put it past her to pull it off somehow, especially after Mr. 3 managed it. Besides, it's easy to eavesdrop when it's silent. If you don't want to be overheard, you should go where too many people are making noise."
"Once again, Cross, I vehemently question your logic," Usopp snarled.
"You'll be fine, Usopp," I sighed, rolling my eyes. "Just pull up the gangplank and shoot anybody who tries to come up. Besides, you've got three dugongs, Chopper and Lassoo to help."
Usopp glanced pointedly behind him, where Lassoo was loudly snoring away, Chopper was deeply engrossed in his chemistry chest, twitching ever so slightly as he worked, and the three dugongs were arguing over… something. Whatever it was, it was very serious if the vehement hand gestures were anything to go by.
…ooor not, judging by the way Mikey had just grabbed Donny in a chokehold and was noogie-ing the hell out of him.
"How comforting," he spat.
"Hey, don't I count at all?!" Carue squawked indignantly.
"I DUNNO, do you?" Soundbite retorted, his eye cocked.
Carue raised his wing and opened his beak… before promptly shutting it. "Good point."
"Hey, are we ready to go?" Vivi asked, coming up onto the foredeck with Zoro.
She was wearing a dark yellow polo shirt with sleeves that reached down to her elbows and blue jean shorts that halted about mid-thigh. Her hair was pulled back in her typical ponytail and she was wearing a small variety of bracelets on her exposed arms.
"Yeah, just about," I nodded in agreement before looking at Usopp. "Hey, did you manage to finish before we got here?"
Usopp grimaced miserably. "If I said no, would you believe me and stay?"
"Eeee-nope."
The sniper groaned despondently as he dug through the pockets of his overalls. "Yeah, that's what I was afraid of…" He held out a bundle of cloth with a sigh. "Here. Just please get back here fast, I don't want to be left alone any longer than I need to be!"
"Yeah yeah, I got it," I nodded as I took the cloth and shook it out.
It was the cap Tashigi had given me back in Rainbase, dyed and redesigned in such a manner that I wasn't liable to take a bullet to the brain if any pirates caught me wearing it. The hat's fabric was now black, and the crown was emblazoned with white cross-bones superimposed by a cross moline.
I slipped the hat over my head and looked around, letting everyone get a good look at it. "Well? What do you think?"
Soundbite whistled appreciatively. "SNAZZY, if a bit gangsta, BUT YOU PULL IT OFF!"
"You think so?" I said as I glanced down at myself. I was wearing an unzipped dark brown hooded vest over a long-sleeved white t-shirt with a bull-skull outlined over the chest. I also had on a pair of black cargo jeans, the legs of which ended within my greaves.
"Yeah, it's not bad," Nami nodded in agreement. "The headphones and cap go well together."
"Well, alright, then!" I said, clapping my hands together. "Come on, guys, let's head out!"
-o-
The bar we ultimately chose had no patrons from either of the pirate crews that I was determined to avoid. No, this place was fit to be called Thugs-R-Us, even if that wasn't its name; we were just lucky that of the couple of patrons that had tried picking fights with us, none were remotely close to Zoro's weight class. With drinks on the house as a show of respect for his strength and a bribe to keep us from wrecking the place any further (which only Zoro drank immediately), the four of us remained relatively undisturbed in our booth.
I took a moment to glance around before snapping my fingers and indicating the air around me. Soundbite responded immediately, concentrating for a moment before filling the air with static that melded in seamlessly with the roar of the crowd, guaranteeing our privacy.
"Robin's clear on the other SIDE OF THE TOWN," he provided. "It's now or never."
I raised an eyebrow at the fact that he actually used her name before nodding in acknowledgment and looking at the others. "Alright, this is as good as it's going to get. Go ahead and ask whatever you want."
Immediately, Vivi slapped her palm on the table and leaned forward with an accusing glare. "Why her, Cross?" she demanded without preamble. "After all she's done to us, why let her join? Why all but insist on it, for that matter?"
I sighed heavily as I leaned back in my seat, crossing my arms over my chest. "Because she's a good person and she deserves to be on this crew."
"GOOD PERSON?" Vivi snapped. "She's an assassin!"
"Vivi's right, Cross," Nami nodded in agreement. "Robin worked with Crocodile, she helped him hurt Alabasta."
"You're making a false assumption there!" I cut in promptly, sticking a finger up. "You're assuming she joined him willingly. That is categorically not true. Crocodile didn't hold a gun to her head, no, but she still had one there anyway."
Zoro narrowed his eyes. "What are you saying, Cross?"
"I'm saying that when Crocodile double-crossed her in the Alabasta catacombs, Robin had a vial of water at the ready," I explained, my voice low and icy. "I'm saying that from the moment she joined Baroque Works, she didn't trust Crocodile for a hot second. Hell, she knew that he was a double-crossing bastard from the start, she knew her life would be in danger if she worked for him, and she still joined Baroque Works. You know what that says?"
"That she's just as much a sadistic bastard as Crocodile is?" Vivi asked with enough venom to put down a Sea King.
Unfazed, I leaned in and stared her dead in the eyes. "It means that he was her best option. Her only option." I grit my teeth as I thought back on the scarce scenes of horror I'd been treated to during her flashback. "Can you understand what I'm saying here? Can you comprehend the situation I'm describing, where working for Crocodile, knowing full well that he intends to kill you once he's done with you, is the only option left available to you?"
I took more than a little satisfaction in watching the blood slowly drain from Nami and Vivi's faces as realization swept over them, while Zoro tensed up slightly.
I nodded slowly. "I see you're starting to understand. Now, allow me to lay it out for you a bit: Vivi, Robin would gladly trade her own life for yours in a second in spite of your current situation. While you might not be able to go home right now, and maybe not even ever, there is still the possibility of you being able to return and see your friends and family in the future. The World Government might have taken your home from you, but at least they've left it standing for the time being."
I leaned back in my seat and crossed my arms with a sigh. "Robin doesn't have that luxury. She doesn't have family, she doesn't have anyone waiting, she doesn't even have an island to go back to, much less a home." I blew out a harsh breath as I scratched the back of my head. "And because of that stupid, stupid bounty on her head… well, we're the first friends she'll have had in almost twenty years. The first home, the first place she can lay her head down and sleep without fearing for her life. The only reason she ever became an assassin in the first place is that it was the only way she could survive. And she wasn't lying either; when Luffy saved her life, she was at the end of her rope. She'd grown so sick and fallen so deep into despair that she was ready to die in that crypt."
I slowly looked at each of my crewmates, making completely certain they understood what I was saying. "She has hit rock bottom. She came with us out of pure desperation because she has nowhere else to turn. If we'd turned her away… I don't even want to imagine. And at the end of the day, the fact is that she is a good person, whom the world as a whole has invariably shit upon, day after day after day without fail." I emphasized the words by jabbing the table with my finger. "She has more than earned her place on our crew, do you understand? She deserves to sail with us. With Luffy, with Sanji, with all of us."
I gave them all pleading looks. "She deserves a chance at what she's never had. At happiness. Can you give her that chance, please?"
Vivi looked like she was about ready to vomit, Nami's expression was ashen as she looked about ready to agree, and Zoro's expression was unreadable as he stared at me.
"What aren't you telling us, Cross?" he quietly demanded.
I shook my head firmly. "I'm not telling you that which I have no right to tell you. That's as much her story as Kuina and Bellemere are yours." The twitches from the two in question told me I'd hit the mark. "Just know that she'll tell us eventually, and when she does I'll tell her all about where my knowledge comes from. Alright?"
Vivi was silent as my fellow officers nodded before speaking up. "Can we trust her, Cross?"
"Let me put it this way," I said, spreading my hands out. "She won't give us any reason to mistrust her if we do the same thing. And if she does double-cross us, I guarantee you it won't be of her own free will."
The princess was impassively silent for the longest time as she thought and thought, before finally sighing and hanging her head. "I don't like her… I don't know if I can ever forgive her or trust her, but I'll give her a chance." She looked up and pinned me with a glare. "And if anything goes wrong, it'll be as much on your head as it'll be on hers."
I raised my hands in surrender. "Fair enough, fair enough." The current business done, I slid out of our booth and stretched my slightly stiffened limbs a bit, Soundbite cutting out his static as he did so. "Well! I'm going to go out and explore the town a bit. This is gonna be the last bit of peace and quiet we'll see for a while, sadly enough."
Nami slapped a hand to her face with a mutter of 'of course' before standing up as well. "In that case, we're going to find Luffy and try and keep him from making too much of a scene. Come on, Zoro."
"Why should I go with you!?"
"Because you owe me so much that I own you."
"AND YOU'D get so lost YOU'D WIND UP back in the East Blue!" Soundbite chortled eagerly.
"Watch it, slimestain," Zoro growled over our collective laughter as he jabbed a warning finger at the snail in question.
"Hey, Vivi, you want to come with?" I inquired curiously.
Vivi looked contemplative for a moment before shaking her head. "Thanks, but no thanks. I think I'll just go back to the Merry instead, check on Usopp's progress. Besides, I don't want Carue to panic. Have fun, Cross."
"Try not to get shot," Nami concurred.
"I cannot promise that!" I shot back over my shoulder as I walked out of the bar and into the street.
-o-
I sighed as I examined the neat bullet hole in my jacket. "I liked this jacket, you assholes," I complained to the pile of groaning, vomiting men in front of me. "Seriously, it's comfortable and easy to wear, it's form-fitting, it looks cool… ergh, and now it's got a freaking hole in it and Nami is never going to let me live this down."
"You… little…" one of the morons started to growl out, pushing himself up on his sword…
THWACK!
Until I snapped my leg forwards and gave his jaw a thoroughly solid crack.
"Honestly now," I shook my head with a sigh. "You are in a pirate town, a rough and tumble lawless place that the Marines wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. Why would you think that it was a smart idea to mug the one relatively scrawny guy who doesn't look nervous? It's just so stupid. And now, because of your stupidity, my jacket has a hole! It's just, it's just nonsensical!"
"Eh, I dunno," Soundbite shook his head side to side. "I THINK IT GIVES YOU CHARACTER!"
"You think so?" I blinked at him in surprise. "Huh, let's see…" I slipped my vest back on and looked it over. "Well, I'll be. You're right, it actually does look kind of good. It appears I might have overreacted a bit! My bad!"
I noticed a bit of motion in the corner of my vision and promptly stomped my heel down on the hand that I'd noticed reaching for a gun.
I rolled my eyes as one of the thugs screamed in pain. "Alright, so not entirely my bad. Now, I'm going to let you go with a warning. As it stands, you're all lucky that Soundbite's primary offensive attack is lethal only, otherwise, I doubt any of you would be walking. But still, he is capable of reducing you to puking wrecks from a long ways away, so be good, or else I'll rip you all a new one! Bye, now!"
And with that, I turned and continued to walk down the street, whistling a jaunty tune as I went.
So far, my walk through the town had turned out exactly as I'd expected it to, rife with crime, vice, and overall moral corruption. And stupidity. Lots of stupidity. But I couldn't complain; thanks to Soundbite, that bullet hole was the worst that had happened to me, and I hadn't come across Blackbeard, Bellamy, or any of their crewmates that I recognized. And overall, as sickening as a lot of the things I was seeing were, it was kind of entertaining. A fight here, a brawl there… while Mock Town was indeed the 'Detroit' of this world, I couldn't help but admit that at least it had variety.
And honestly, seeing a badass-looking pirate cowering under the stern gazes and loud shouting of a bunch of prostitutes was funny as hell. At least, I'm pretty sure they were prostitutes. But overall? Nothing had gone wrong.
"So," I looked at Soundbite as I rounded a corner. "Any suggestions on where we head to next?"
"HMM…" Soundbite inclined his head contemplatively. "Sounds like SOMEBODY'S SINGING from the BOTTLE a few blocks away. SNACK AND a show?"
"Sounds fun," I nodded in agreement as I looked forwards. "So, whi…ch…" I trailed off listlessly as I stared down the street, only just managing to wrench my gaze forwards and keep my feet in motion. "Oh, God."
Soundbite blinked at me in confusion. "What—?"
"Don't look at me," I breathed sotto voce, cold sweat coating my body. "Don't look at anyone, don't look at anything, don't say a word. Unless you want to die or suffer a fate worse than death, then for the next few minutes you are a completely ordinary, slack-eyed Baby Transponder Snail."
Soundbite stiffened slightly on my shoulder, but a glance at him thankfully revealed that he was following my orders, looking as bored and tired as any other member of his kind.
And so, I continued to walk. I walked past pirates, I walked past criminals, I walked past the absolute scum of the earth as though absolutely nothing were wrong, walking like I'd been walking for the last few minutes.
I even continued this walk as I passed by the unmistakable form of Marshall D. Teach, despite the fact that my heart was hammering in my chest and that I could barely even breathe.
The giant, evil man had seemed completely oblivious to me as I passed him, thankfully more enraptured with the bottle of rum he was swilling than in his surroundings, but that did little to abate my terror. I knew, I knew that if I showed any fear, so much as a hint of recognition, then I would be dropped into the darkness before I had a chance to react, and that was not a fate I wanted.
Still, despite my gut-gnawing terror, I managed to make it past the fat bastard without visibly reacting. I mentally counted his pace in my head, keeping track of where he'd be about now without glancing back.
The second I was sure he'd turned a corner, I dove into the nearest alleyway I could find and plastered myself to the wall, gulping down breath after sweet breath. "Sweet donkey-fucking angels of mercy on high, that was too damn close."
"WHAT THE HELL was that about!?" Soundbite roared in confusion.
I pointed a shaky arm forwards, indicating the direction we'd come from. "T-the big one… the guy ten times bigger than me or anyone else in the street… t-t-that was Marshall D. Teach. Blackbeard."
Soundbite's eyes shot wide open in terrified recognition. "The asshat ACE IS HUNTING!?"
"The very same. If he'd recognized us, he'd have no doubt literally ripped you open for your fruit."
"T-T-THAT'S a thing?" he squeaked in terror.
I nodded solemnly. "It is with Teach. He did it to Whitebeard, took his powers after he died. His body looked untouched, but… I doubt you'd get that courtesy."
Soundbite swallowed heavily. "AND YOU DIDN'T tell Ace he WOULD BE HERE WHY!?"
I spun my finger in the air. "Collateral damage. We needed this island intact. At least if Ace sticks to the schedule, he'll fight him somewhere relatively clear of civilians. For now, though, we should be fine. My face isn't known and he rarely picks fights without reason, so just as long as we stay anonymous—!"
"Puru puru puru puru!"
"YEARGH!" I leaped nearly a foot off the ground as a sound pierced the air without warning. Soundbite was even more ticked about it.
"Puru puru puru puru! OH, COME ON! NOW, OF ALL TIMES?" Soundbite snarled incredulously.
I was inclined to agree with him, fumbling with the transceiver's mic and wrenching it out of its cradle with almost unseemly haste. "What?!" I hissed desperately.
Soundbite's expression promptly morphed into one of shock and concern. "Uh, Cross? Are you alright?"
I twitched as I acknowledged who was speaking before sighing and running a hand down my face. "Sorry about that, Tashigi, I'm a bit on edge, just dodged a meeting with a grade-A threat. What's up?"
Tashigi grimaced. "Well, first of all, I don't think we ever actually gave you the number of the Transponder Snail we bought for…" She sighed. "MI3. So, let me just give you that first…"
I glanced around for something to write with as she rattled off the number without any more warning, and found nothing.
"I've got it memorized," Soundbite said, cutting off my search.
"OK, good. Now, the main reason I wanted to call. Sengoku was… let's just say 'furious' at that 'in-depth tour' you gave of Impel Down—and one of these days, maybe, just maybe, I'll submit to your terms if it means learning how the hell you know all of that. Anyway, he sent orders to every base in the Grand Line after Alabasta; he's got a task force five battleships and three captains strong hunting for you now."
"Ugh, should have seen this coming. Alright, where are they heading?"
"Well, that's the good news," Tashigi beamed proudly. "Since we were the last ones to see you, we were able to steer the pursuit in the wrong direction to where we knew the Log Pose would send you next. They're heading in the direction of a place called Jaya."
The air practically froze over as I stared at Soundbite, who himself had adopted a panicked expression.
"I'm sorry, you sent them where?" I asked in a strained tone of voice.
"We said that we'd learned you had picked up an Eternal Pose for an island called Jaya," Tashigi repeated eagerly. "It's a complete backwater, doesn't even have a Marine Base nearby; in fact, local patrols avoid it like the plague. They'll be scouring the scum of the streets for weeks and won't find anything! Brilliant, huh?" Tashigi maintained her proud smile for a few seconds before blinking in confusion. "Uh, why are you looking at me like that?"
In response, I held up the transceiver's mike towards the street, letting it take in a full barrage of the noises of Jaya. Specifically, the fighting, the screaming, the raucous laughing, etc. etc.
By the time I drew the mic back, Tashigi's eyes were wide open. "You're… on Jaya?"
"It involves a ship falling from the sky, a crew of salvager sea monkeys, and the second biggest turtle we've ever seen."
"Oh-God-Commodore-Smoker's-going-to-kill-me-e-eeeee…" Tashigi sobbed miserably.
"Pull it together, Tashigi! How long do we have?!"
"…Twenty-four hours? Maybe less. Sane Marines don't disappoint Sengoku if they want to stay out of G-5."
I mentally ran over the schedule for the day before sighing in relief. "OK, we'll be cutting it close, but I think we'll be able to make it."
"How!?" Tashigi sputtered incredulously. "From what I read, the log takes four days to reset, and even if you got another Eternal Pose, they'll still be coming at you in a spread-vice formation! If one of them catches sight of you, they'll hound you until you're sunk!"
I allowed a massive grin to slowly spread over my face. "Then I guess it's a good thing we won't be leaving the island in a traditional manner, isn't it?
Tashigi gaped for a moment more before plastering a studiously neutral look on her face. "You know what? I'm not even going to ask. I'll just wait for the inevitable SBS broadcast like everyone else."
"If you say so!" I snickered. "Well, thanks for the update, Tashigi. And good luck on your end!"
I made to hang up…
"WAIT!"
"GAH!" "Holy—!"
When I was interrupted by Soundbite suddenly hollering.
"Sonnuva—what the hell, Soundbite!?" I demanded in annoyance.
"TASHIGI, is there any news ON THE BAROQUE Works AGENTS?" Soundbite pleaded hastily.
Tashigi blinked in confusion through him before the sound of rustling paper passed through the connection. "Funny you should mention that. There was a mass breakout a while back from the base we were holding them in. We still have Crocodile, thank God, he didn't even try and escape, but all agents from Mr. 4 down managed to make a clean getaway, including Daz Bonez's partner. There are some Marines looking for them, but overall they're not a high priority. Why do you ask?"
"Yeah, Soundbite, why?" I questioned in agreement, a hint of dread entering my voice.
Soundbite swallowed heavily. "ALL agents from FOUR down?"
"Yesss, all of them. Why? What's this about?"
Cold sweat started running down Soundbite as he shivered heavily, slowly turning his gaze upwards. "No reason…" he squeaked in terror.
I followed Soundbite's line of sight and froze with just as much terror.
"Tashigi?" I breathed. "Something's come up. I'm gonna have to call you back."
"Huh? What are you—? Wait, Cross—!"
I hung up on her before she could finish without looking. I was too busy staring upwards.
Staring up at the vicious, wrathful glares that were staring right back.
"…Alright, it's pretty obvious what you two are doing here," I began, trying to stay calm. "But I don't understand why. Nobody else from Baroque Works is trying to hunt down our crew for what we did, not even Crocodile! Shouldn't you be enjoying some kind of quiet retirement right now?"
"Hmph," Mr. 13 snorted as he tilted the Akubra he was wearing back with a combat knife, his voice an icy tenor that oozed with hatred. "We considered that when we broke out. And honestly, we might go for it one day, but after those 'visits'? No, we can't do that yet."
"We'll be glad to settle down and put Baroque Works behind us," Miss Friday concurred, still with the demonic voice Soundbite gave her before. An evil glint traversed the visor of her fighter pilot helmet. "After I've picked every last bit of flesh from your skeleton, and crushed that pest of a snail into paste."
"… fuck."
Patient AN: Sorry, everyone, but we're leaving you on another cliffhanger. We promise not to do it next chapter, however… I think.
Xomniac AN: Speak for yourself. XD
Hornet AN: WE FEAST UPON YOUR TEARS.
