Chapter 28
Cross-Brain AN: Just a quick FYI for our readers, but Cross-Brain, and thus by extension This Bites! now has a P-a-t-r-e-o-n Page! Just look up Cross-Brain and you'll be able to support our endeavors, and even get cool rewards in the process!
"…Goda-sensei… you may be the greatest manga author who ever lived… but the world you made is beyond even your unearthly artistic abilities," I breathed as I took in the sight of the White Sea. The cherry blossoms as we left Sakura Kingdom had been beautiful, but this was downright ethereal, so damn wonderful that I felt like I was in the middle of a dream.
I mean, sure, we were all sopping wet and exhausted from the ordeal of bursting through several dozen meters of semi-liquid cloud cover, but that barely did anything to limit the utter beauty of the White Sea.
Where to start… the Sea itself, I suppose. It was… like being on an airplane, when it had just broken through the clouds. A rippling plane of pure white fluff, like cotton but… but not. Only, unlike on a plane, there wasn't a half-inch of clear plastic and a few inches of metal between me and the clouds. I reached my arm out over the edge and glided my hand through a swell of cloud that had drifted close to the Merry. I giggled euphorically as the cloud flowed through and around my fingers, like a more solid form of seafoam.
And the banks of Island Cloud floating around on the Sea's surface… geeze, like true-blue natural clouds, perfectly solid for the most part, yet jiggling and melding around. Gelatinous matter, malleable and yet firm. And they reached up, too. All around, I could see pillars and walls of the stuff, reaching up and up to form a pure white ceiling through which the rays of the sun were shining down.
It was incredible, it was awe-inspiring. To put it simply, it all but took my breath awa—
"Gh…GRK!"
Okay, maybe a bit more than 'all but'!
I shot my hand to my throat in shock, gasping and flapping my mouth as I tried to breathe, but it was no use. Every breath I gulped down felt like half of a normal one, and my lungs weren't handling the deficit well, a fact which my spinning head was readily attesting to. All too soon I didn't have any other option but to fall to my knees, only just barely managing to keep myself from falling over.
"Cross? Cross!? Cross, what's wrong!?" I was vaguely aware of someone, Vivi maybe, grabbing my shoulder and shaking me slightly.
I wheezed and gasped as I thumped my fist against my chest, shaking my head desperately. "Can't… breathe…" I choked out miserably. "Need… air…"
"HELP! WE NEED A DOC—! WAIT! I AM A DOCTOR! Lay Cross out on his back and hold him steady! I'm going to need a sterile blade, a straw—!"
"GRGHHK!" I choked out desperately, fumbling out my baton and frantically swinging it at the brown blob in my fading vision.
Thankfully, a yellow-topped black blur coalesced itself in my field of vision, and before I could react, a metal mask was pressed onto my face. I gasped in shock from the action and was rewarded with a fresh breath of air entering my lungs.
"What the—?" I wheezed out as I clasped the mask to my face.
"One of the gas masks from the Krieg Pirates. I kept it leaped we ever ran into another poison weapon, and it looks like it's a good thing I did," Sanji sighed in relief. "Seriously, Cross… are all people where you come from this weak?"
"DON'T COMPARE ME TO MONSTERS LIKE YOU! MY HOME IS A HAVEN OF PEACE AND SANITY, LIKE THE EAST BLUE, BUT BETTER! For the most part, anyways…" I trailed off at the end.
"DAMN, AUSTRALIA, you scary!" Soundbite cackled.
"Yeah, there…" I jabbed my thumb at Soundbite with a nod before glaring daggers at the cook. "Besides, you're not coping as well as you think you are; try out some of your fancy footwork and see how you like it."
Sanji frowned at me in confusion, then with a shrug, he reeled his leg back and shot a few tentative kicks into the air. He frowned as he put his foot down, then he dropped down on his hands and went through a series of impressive spinning kicks. And when he got up, he was panting like he'd just run a triple marathon.
"What the…?" he wheezed, doubled over on his knees
"We're nearly two dozen thousand feet in the air," I grit out as I thumped my chest, trying to work out the throbbing pain. "The air's about as thin as rice paper up here. My reaction might be bad, but you're no spring chicken either!"
"Ugh," Zoro grunted as he attempted some 'basic' two-sword techniques. "He's not kidding, this is rough…"
"Ergh, my stomach's spinning…" Luffy moaned, flopping on his back. "This'll take a few minutes to get used to."
"That's not a natural recovery rate…" Chopper sweatdropped uneasily.
"AND you have experience with people RECOVERING FROM THIN AIR?" Soundbite asked.
"I lived on top of a mountain for ten months before I joined the crew. The first lesson Doctorine gave me when we moved in was on how to deal with oxygen deprivation from high altitudes," Chopper deadpanned.
"Point taken."
"I'm surprised, Mister Jeremiah, you don't often forget details of things that you're not supposed to know," Robin remarked, and whether it was the air or what she said—not something you'd expect in a casual conversation, to be sure—she seemed to be somewhat out of it herself.
"She has a point. That's supposed tah be Vivi's job," Carue remarked.
"Yeah, that's supposed to be my—CARUE!" Vivi shrieked indignantly, the dope-slap she gave the duck doing nothing to stifle his laughter, nor that of most of the rest of those onboard. Vivi turned scarlet, but fortunately for her, a distraction arose as Usopp leaped up onto the Merry's railing.
"I, THE GREAT SNIPER USOPP, SHALL BE THE FIRST TO SWIM IN THE OCEAN OF THE SKY!" he crowed enthusiastically.
"GO, USOPP, GO!" Luffy, Chopper and the Dugongs cheered.
"WAIT!" I interrupted, snapping my hand up and removing my mask to let my voice carry better.
"Huh?" Usopp glanced at me nervously. "W-what's wrong, Cross? Is this dangerous or—?"
I held my stance for a moment before smiling and jabbing my thumb at a nearby coil of rope. "Oh, nothing much, I was just going to suggest you tie yourself off to the Merry, is all. We're in the sky, after all. If the currents are even remotely directed by the wind, then who knows where you could be dragged off to."
Usopp paled in horror before nodding. "A-ah, right, good point… thanks, Cross!" And with that, he tied a length of rope around his waist and jumped into the wispy 'waters' below, the line trailing behind him as he swam.
I slipped my gas mask back on as we stood around and watched the waters silently for about a minute or so, at which point an uncomfortable atmosphere slowly started to spread amongst the rest of the crew. By then, I was quite glad for the gas mask, because it was hiding the absolutely shit-eating grin I was wearing.
"Cross…" Boss interjected slowly. "We might be several thousand feet above the ocean, but this is still the Grand Line. Is there anything in the water we should look out for?"
"Pff…" I snickered slightly behind the mask. "Well, I did forget to warn him about the sky sharks…"
"Sky sharks?" Vivi repeated in horror.
"But don't worry, they… pff…" I barely suppressed a snort, my grin starting to hurt under the mask, while Soundbite didn't even bother to hide his banana-like smile. "They won't be a problem, we'd have seen motion if there was anything! I just—pff!" I hunched over as I started to shake. "Forgot to mention something, pffheeheeheehee!"
"What did you do, Cross?" Nami asked in a slow and dangerous voice, her fingers twitching visibly at her sides.
Robin herself had a thoughtful expression, which swiftly snapped into shock as a thought struck her, a change that Vivi noticed instantly. "Something come to mind, Miss All-Sunday?" she asked slowly.
The assassin bit her lip nervously as she glanced over the edge of the ship. "We… are sailing in the middle of a cloud, correct?"
"Pff…"
"Wight…" Carue nodded in agreement.
"A cloud we reached by sailing up into it, correct?"
"Pff…"
"That fact is as indubitably correct as my beak is jaw-droppingly lustrous."
"Then it would be safe to assume… that this sea has no bottom, correct?"
Everyone fell silent apart from my ill-suppressed laughter. At which point the coil of rope Usopp was tied to started un-coiling at a lightning-fast pace, at which point I fucking lost it.
"PFFHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAHAHAHA!" I hollered, mask falling off as I pounded desperately at the Merry's railing, tears streaming down my eyes. "GUESS NOT! PFHAHAHAHAHA!"
"OH NOOOOOOO!" Terry shouted, flapping his wings in a panic.
"SHIT!" the Monster Trio chorused, leaping at the rope and hastily grabbing it to stop it from going any further. The fact that Luffy promptly leaped back with a pained yelp and burned hands just made me laugh harder. Hell, I even kept laughing, albeit silently—no breath, you see—as Nami grabbed my collar with an incoherent howl and started shaking me like a ragdoll, joined swiftly by Vivi.
"THAT'S NOT FUNNY, JACKASS!" our resident princess snarled in my face.
"THEN WHY are we LAUGHI-I-ING!? HAHAHAHEEHEEHEEhohoho!" Soundbite cackled madly.
I could see Vivi visibly wrestle with herself before sighing and lowering her head. "Okay, maybe it's a little funny…" Her eyes snapped up, the glare back on in full force. "BUT IT'S STILL NOT NICE!"
"Ya mean like breaking someone's nose isn't nice?" Lassoo asked.
Vivi whirled around and turned her glare on him, a slight aura rippling around her.
Lassoo huffed. "Shuttin' up now," he said, his voice unchanged from his usual lazy deadpan.
I giggled a little bit more, panting heavily from a combination of laughter and the thin air, before noticing the rate at which Zoro and Sanji were pulling up Usopp's rope. "Hey, you guys are gonna want to increase the pace! Usopp didn't just go freediving; he volunteered to act as bait!"
The swordsman and cook stiffened and exchanged panicked looks before triple-timing it.
Finally, the White Sea's surface burst open and disgorged our terror-KOed sniper into the air… alongside the giant sky-Sea Serpent that was following him and the sky-Octopus that was following it.
"OOH, TAKOYAKI!"
While Vivi, Carue and— …huh, only Vivi and Carue actually screamed. Chopper's eyes had taken on a manic glint, and he'd shot his hoof over his shoulder into his bag, while Nami… well, her eyes were wide open, and she was visibly gritting her teeth, but she wasn't screaming. Good for her!
Anyways, while the princess and her companion screamed their heads off, Zoro and Leo leaped off the ship at the sky-octopus with their swords drawn. The instant their blades met the tentacles, the limbs popped like Macy's blimps, letting out an almighty bang.
Sanji and Boss, meanwhile, gave the serpent trying to swallow Usopp a thorough concussion-inducing thrashing before it could lay its fangs on either our ship or our crewmate. Chopper topped it all off by expertly tossing a vial of his so-called Cherry Blossom Blast down the serpent's gaping mouth…
POWIE!
Which promptly detonated in a very impressive pink fireball, distending the beast's stomach before leaving it floating with pink smoke wafting from its mouth. I blinked in shock before most of the rest of the crew and I slowly turned to stare dumbfoundedly at the doctor.
"Hot damn, dude," I whistled in awe. I absently noted that I didn't seem to need the mask anymore; probably because my bout of laughter sped up acclimation.
"MWAHAHAHAHA!" Chopper roared, his chest puffed out victoriously… for all that meant in his Brain Point. "Yes, witness the might of the fruit of my mind, TREMBLE BEFORE—GRRGGHK!"
Chopper suddenly cut himself off and started slamming his hooves into his forehead, switching to grinding at his temples after a few seconds. That done, he sighed as the tension flowed out of his shoulders, waving his arms reassuringly. "I'm good, I'm good! I-I increased my intelligence on default when I got scared, but I'm back! So don't hit me, damn it!"
"Awww…" Mikey, Luffy and I whined as we relaxed back from getting ready to concuss him.
"WHY DO YOU SOUND SO DISAPPOINTED!?"
Meanwhile, Robin was standing over at the edge of the ship and inspecting the yet-floating remains of our attackers. "How curious…"
"It's the Grand Line, Robin," I dryly noted. "Sea, sky, or hell, even land; things just keep getting curiouser and curiouser."
"Lewis Carroll?" Robin questioned, smiling slightly. "I hope you're not going to tell me that we'll have to deal with a grinning cat, size-altering mushrooms, or anthropomorphic cards, are you?"
"I can't say for certain that we will not. Still, while we're on the analogy, was Reverse Mountain one hell of a rabbit hole or—?"
"WAAAAAGH!"
Our conversation was suddenly cut off by the till-then-comatose Usopp jerking up and flailing in panic.
"What now?!" Sanji demanded with a growl.
"T-T-THERE'S SOMETHING IN MY PANTS!" Usopp screamed, scrambling with his lower garments and tossing a flailing flounder-like fish onto the deck.
I cocked an eyebrow as I eyed the flopping fish. "Well, now… that's not something you see every day."
"FEELIN' LONELY, were ya?" Soundbite cackled.
"Screw… you… slimeball…" Usopp grit out as he finally calmed down. "And Cross… well… thanks for telling me to put on the rope. BUT WOULD IT HAVE KILLED YOU TO TELL ME NOT TO SWIM SO FAR THAT I'D FALL OUT OF THE FREAKING SKY!?
"Oh, come on, Usopp," I snickered as I waved my hand airily. "Even if that wasn't something that you should have been able to figure out on your own with your genius mind, can't you take a joke?"
"A JOKE?! HOW WAS THAT A JOKE? WOULD YOU HAVE LIKED IT IF—?" He paused and grimaced as he reconsidered what he was about to ask. "Never mind, you probably would have liked it if we did that to you…"
"Lemme go and get my bathing suit!" I grinned eagerly and started to dash for the trapdoor to the guy's room—
SLAM!
—before I was laid out flat with a nice and smoking lump on my skull.
"NOT ON YOUR LIFE, JACKASS!" Nami raged.
"Hmm, interesting…" Attention was drawn away from me by Robin, who had picked up the fish Usopp had… donated, and was examining it closely. "This fish appears to have adapted to suit its environment in the cloud sea…"
"Makes sense," Boss shrugged as he chomped down on a fresh cigar and started patting down his shell. "We Grand Line creatures have adapted real fast-like over the past centuries to keep up with the counter-adaptation of countless other species trying their damnedest to eat us."
"So the reason that Dugongs evolved sea-turtle shells is… protection from sharks?" Nami asked. "Or just naturally guarding weak spots so you can focus on martial arts?"
Boss froze for a moment before redoubling his self-patting. "Er, yes, those reasons are good," he muttered… was that a BLUSH?
"Actuawwy—!" Carue started to raise his wing… before he and Vivi froze on account of the weapons being jabbed in their faces by the TDWS.
"Not a damn word out of you," they growled in sync.
Once the native Alabastans nodded and were released, I sidled up to Vivi and gave her a surreptitious glance. "And the reason for that not-so-passive-aggressive treatment was…?"
Vivi gulped heavily as she continued to eye the Dugongs. "I don't trust Soundbite not to burst out laughing when he hears it—!"
I slammed my hand down on Soundbite's shell, forcing him inside.
"That works. And anyway, all I know is a rumor, but… from the way some marine biologists tell it, one generation there were two distinct populations of sea turtles and manatees, the next…"
I was silent for a moment as I digested the implications.
"Please tell me you're not saying what I think you're saying."
"She didn't say anythin'," Carue muttered with a roll of his eyes. "They all but confiwmed it."
"DAMN IT!"
The three of us jumped in shock, though thankfully it appeared that Boss's ire wasn't directed at us.
"Tsk, I lost my flint-rocks while towin' us to the Knock-Up Stream…" he growled darkly before perking up at Sanji. "Hey, got a light?"
"Yeah, sure thing, Boss," Sanji nodded, kneeling down and flicking his lighter beneath the Dugong's cigar. It took a few tries, no doubt due to the thin oxygen levels and the thing being ever so slightly cloud-logged, but he eventually got a small flame going and managed to light both of their… cancer-sticks? If they even had cancer in this world, considering the natural regeneration rate these people's cells had. Though, considering how cancer works, that might make things worse.
Either way, Boss took a deep drag from his cigar, blew out a cloud and nodded gratefully. "Thanks, Sanji. I can only imagine what I'd do without my cigs!"
BOOM!
It was at that exact moment that an explosion blew a plume of Sea Clouds up and over the edge of the Merry, soaking most of us and extinguishing both of the smoker's fixes. They stared blankly at said fixes for a few moments. Then…
"…You know, true masters sometimes take a vow of silence," Boss ground out slowly. "And since it seems that we can't go one fucking hour without someone saying something provocative and bringing some freak force of nature down on us, I'm starting to wonder if I should try it myself."
"Maybe so, but for now…" Sanji slowly stood back up and turned to glare bloody murder at the berserker that was fast approaching us.
I grit my teeth as I saw Wiper coming closer. Honestly, all I had to do was have Soundbite Gastro-Amp me so I could say something like 'Light the fire of Shandora' or 'Descendant of the Great Warrior Calgara' or 'We're here in the name of Montblanc Noland.' Any of those would give the Shandian warrior—hell, any Shandian, period—enough pause to listen to reason. So, why wasn't I doing it?
Because that would mean juggling getting the Shandians on our side to rush Upper Yard at just the right time, and while I'll willingly admit to taking a few courses in 'manipulative bastardry' recently, that game was too big for me to play. Still, it couldn't hurt to establish neutral terms as opposed to bad. Now, how to do that…
I pondered it, staying as out of the way as I could as the Monster Trio attempted to subdue Wiper, with much more success than the curb-stomp in canon thanks to realizing the limitation of the thin air. But what was I supposed to—wait, that could work.
"Lassoo! Cani-Slick!"
Lassoo glanced at me quizzically, but then nodded, and shifted into his hybrid form before spraying Wiper with a concentration of octopus ink. As effective as an oil slick, Wiper's skates lost any semblance of traction, and he fell on his ass.
Unfortunately, so did Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji.
"WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA, CROSS?!" the Monster Trio chorused angrily.
"WHAT VILE SUBSTANCE IS THIS?!" Wiper snarled in return, trying and failing to get back to his feet. The TDWS took full advantage of the distraction, their bodies built more to thrive than struggle on the slick surface. Raphey and Leo positioned themselves on either side of him, Donny standing behind him, and Mikey standing in front, weapons drawn and pointed at him. Wiper glowered. "Insolent Blue Sea Dwellers. I will eliminate—"
"Can it, cloud-skater. We don't want any trouble with you, so why did you attack us?" I cut in.
Wiper glared defiantly and began shifting around. I snapped at Lassoo, and he started padding forwards, growling viciously with his hackles raised.
"Make one false move, and the next thing he shoots will be a bomb. Point-blank range, how high do you think your odds are? Just answer the question; we won't attack if you won't."
Wiper glowered again before scoffing. "I'll answer that question with one of my own: why did you come here? What business do you have here?"
"Our idiot captain," I deadpanned, pointing at the rubber idiot in question as he flailed on the deck and tried to get back to his feet in classic Three Stooges manner. "The second he heard about there being an island in the sky, he didn't care what we had to do, he only cared that we got up here, period. Much to our detriment…" I muttered the last bit darkly.
"EXPRESS ROUTE, BA-BY!" Soundbite whooped eagerly.
Wiper glanced at my shoulder. "What—"
"Devil Fruit," came no fewer than a dozen deadpan voices.
"Right…" Wiper trailed off slowly before tensing as he processed what Soundbite had said. "Wait, 'express—!' You took the Knock-Up Stream!?"
"Eeyu—ACK!" I started to nod before being cut off by Nami grabbing my collar and hauling me a foot off the deck!
"THERE WERE OTHER OPTIONS!?" she shrieked, her teeth almost morphing into fangs.
"So, I take it you didn't enjoy the ri—SHITSHITSHITWAITNO—!"
SPLASH!
Damn, that woman was strong.
I hacked and wheezed up a lungful of fluffy cloud once I managed to get back to the surface, glaring at the deck. "OVERREACT MUCH?"
"GO DROWN, JACKASS!"
"LATER! FOR NOW, THROW ME A LINE ALREADY!"
Once I was back on deck and relatively dried off, I gave the navigator a flat look. "OK, two things you need to know. First, let me remind you that if we had tried looking for any of those other ways, we wouldn't have gotten away from Sengoku's task force! And second, while I did know there were other options, I don't know what or where they are; all I know about them is that they're even more dangerous. Sure, with the Knock-Up Stream, all of us could have died, but any of the other ways, some of us would have died."
I didn't wait for her to reply before looking back at Wiper, who I could feel smirking at me from beneath his mask. "What the hell are you so smug about, ass—!"
"Robin?"
THWACK!
"Ack!" I wheezed, sinking to my knees and massaging my suddenly aching throat. I had no desire to invest in a gorget, but if this was how things were going to be...
Vivi spared me a thoroughly annoyed glance and Robin a nod as she stepped past me before adopting a far more serene expression. "I apologize for Cross, Mister… um…"
"I am part of the Shandian tribe. That will do," he said firmly.
"Mister Shandian, then. Cross has a habit of making enemies as, if not more, often than he makes friends. He enjoys agitating us all. Allow me to make some introductions: I am Nefertari Vivi, and these are my friends. We are the Straw Hat Pirates. It is an honor to be here on the seas of your home."
Vivi capped it all off with a polite bow.
Wiper stared at her silently for a moment before shifting his stance to cross his arms. "Why did you come here to the White Sea?" he grunted.
Vivi held up her hands in a show of surrender. "As Cross was saying, we're just here to take in the sights; a voyage of curiosity, nothing more. We don't want any trouble. Heck, we don't even cause any trouble normally."
"She's… telling the truth. We've never been the ones to throw the first punch," Nami hedged, pointedly not averting her eyes from the berserker.
Wiper slowly swept his eyes over the deck, taking in everyone: the Monster Trio's determined expressions, the TDWS and Boss's ready stances, Usopp and Carue's panicking forms...
Finally, he grunted and nodded slowly. "You might be telling the truth."
I considered relaxing for a moment, save for the unspoken words in his tone of voice.
I wasn't the only one who heard it either. "But?" Vivi asked, frowning and tensing up cautiously.
"But you might not be…" Wiper jerked his Burn Bazooka up, pointing it straight down at Merry's deck. "And I'm not willing to take that chance."
"Even if it means dying with us?" I snapped. "Fair warning, you touch our ship, we touch you in such a way that you don't get un-touched! Do you not have anyone back home who would miss you, or who would need your strength? Is the risk worth that much to you?"
Wiper stayed still for a moment before chuckling darkly. "That's not a good question to ask me, Blue Sea Dweller, and let me tell you why. Up here, I'm known…"
Wiper's middle finger jerked, and the smell of rotten eggs flared out across the deck.
"As the Berserker."
"SHIT!" I barked, jerking away in panic. I tensed in preparation for the oncoming explosion…
"ENOUGH, WIPER!"
When the standoff was thankfully interrupted by a bellow from an old man in plate armor wielding a lance and riding a large bird, who dove and struck at Wiper with what I'm pretty sure were only barely subsonic speeds.
Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on where you stood), Wiper managed to snap his shield up and catch the Sky Knight's weapon before it could strike him. Thankfully enough, the force was enough to shove Wiper clean off the Merry's deck and send him tumbling into the White Sea.
We waited tensely for a few moments, scanning the misty-white waters for any signs of our attacker, and ultimately relaxed when nothing came of it.
"It would seem that he's gone…" Gan Fall mused as he touched down on the deck.
Vivi frowned miserably and bowed her head as she crossed her arms. "I… I thought I was getting through to him…" she muttered dejectedly.
"Hey, it's not your fault, Vivi!" I said, giving her shoulder a consoling pat. "You heard the guy, he called himself a berserker! Let's be honest, the chances of him agreeing on a truce weren't that high in the first place."
"Your friend is quite right… Vivi, was it?" Gan Fall nodded in solemn agreement. "I apologize for the actions of the man who assaulted you. He has a strong reputation for being headstrong and acting brashly, but…" He glanced sadly out at the sea. "I assure you, he means well."
"We'll take your word for it," Boss grunted as he glared balefully at his soaked cigar before turning his gaze on the knight. "But who are you? A friend of his?"
"Friend?" Gan Fall mused before shaking his head with a sigh. "No, far from it; we have a common enemy, but we have never considered each other as allies against him. No," He pounded his fist into his chest confidently. "I am the Sky Knight, a soldier for hire. My name is Gan Fall, and this is my partner Pierre."
"Bienvenue!" the bird saluted before recoiling at the truly snooty French-waiter accent he'd squawked in. "Sapristi! What ze 'ell—?"
"Could you get any more stereotypical?" I deadpanned.
"One day…" Soundbite sighed euphorically.
"Ah…?" Gan Fall started slowly.
"The Straw Hat Translation Service, brought to you by our resident Noise-Noise Fruit-empowered jackass of a snail, Soundbite," Lassoo yawned. "Live it, hate it, dream of mauling him one day."
"Hey, you don't see any of us complaining," Mikey piped up.
"YEAH! SOME OF US ACTUALLY APPRECIATE THE SKILL NEEDED TO TRANSLATE THE VOCABULARY OF SOMEONE AS POWERFUL AS ME!" Terry agreed exuberantly.
"I have to admit, my voish is stawting to gwow on me," Carue reluctantly admitted.
"Aye do believe that I could get used to zees as well…" Pierre mused before raising his wing and starting to sing some bars. "La-la-la-La—!"
"Sky Knight or not, aren't knights supposed to ride on horses?" Raphey asked, tilting her head. Gan Fall tore his attention away from the new development and chuckled.
"As a matter of fact, Pierre is no ordinary bird; for you see, he too has eaten a most unique fruit! He has eaten the Horse-Horse Fruit, enabling him to transform into—"
"A PEGASUS?! OH, this is too good!" Soundbite cackled.
"La-la-LA! Hey, what the—!?" Pierre squawked in protest as his voice went from Frenchy to, well… pony.
I slapped my face, hard. "I had. To fucking. Ask. When am I ever going to learn not to give you-know-who an excuse to play more merry hell with my sanity?" I then proceeded to glare sidelong at Soundbite. "And you realize that Twi—" I cut myself as I realized just who I was surrounded by. "…that she is a," I gestured at my forehead. "And not a pegasus, right?"
"Would you prefer PINKIE PIE?" Soundbite asked curiously.
"…never mind. Anyway, before I completely lose it, you were saying something about being a soldier-for-hire? Does that mean we owe you money for saving us?"
"WHAT?" Nami shrieked as she snapped her Clima-Tact out and jabbed it at the knight, and I breathed a mental sigh of relief as her anger redirected everyone's attention. "YOU'LL GET A SINGLE BERI OVER MY COLD, DEAD BODY!"
"Oh, no, no, this time is free of charge," Gan Fall said hastily. "But I have to make a living too, you know; if you need me again, it will cost 5 million extol."
"FIVE MILLION—wait, what's extol?" Nami asked curiously before going straight back to vicious. "AND THAT'S STILL TOO MUCH!"
"You don't even know the exchange rate yet…" I groused.
"Oh, and you—? …of course you do. What is it, then?" Nami leered at me.
"Uh…" I counted down on my fingers curiously before giving my best estimate. "Few thousand extol per beri if I remember correctly."
Nami blinked as she calculated that out. "So, somewhere in the ballpark of a thousand or so beri… THAT'S A RIPOFF!"
"THAT'S THE PRICE OF A SODA, WOMAN, THAT'S A STEAL!" I spat back indignantly.
"Ah, wait, wait!" Gan Fall waved his hands hastily, obviously trying to keep up with us. "You-you mean to say that you do not have any extol? But how is that possible? Surely you should have picked some up on the previous islands on your way here, no?"
Nami continued to glare daggers at me for a second longer before crossing her arms with a snort. "We were in a bit of a rush back down at Sea Level, so we took the only way up we had. We just got here a few minutes ago."
"My word…" Gan Fall breathed in awe as he stared at us, his eyes wide with disbelief. "So there are still people brave enough to ride the Knock-Up Stream. I didn't think there was anyone else left in the world who was that bold! You must be navigators of exceptional bravery and skill."
"O-oh, well now…" Nami paused in a taken-aback manner, a luminescent blush painting her cheeks. "T-that's very nice of you to say, and I appreciate the compliment, but THERE'S NO WAY IN HELL I'M PAYING YOU THAT MUCH!"
"Oh, no no no!" Gan Fall shook his hands hastily. "I could never make sailors so brave as you pay. Well… too much, at any rate. Here," the knight dug a whistle out and tossed it to Vivi, who nearly fumbled the catch in surprise. "It's a whistle. Blow it, and I shall come to your aid wherever you might be, free of charge, but only once. I gift it to you in honor of your immense bravery!"
The knight then proceeded to sling his leg over Pierre's back, who was still glaring daggers at Soundbite and making the inestimably impressive decision not to say jack. The giga-bird's musculature then morphed into a… less than impressive pegasus. "FARE THEE WELL, BRAVE TRAVELERS!" he called out before he was carried off into the sky.
But not without one last shot at my sanity in the form of Isaiah flying up and perching on Pierre's head.
"I'm on a horse," he stated in a stupidly smug tone of voice.
THUNK! THUNK! THUNK! THUNK!
I barely noticed the bemused looks everyone gave me as I rammed my head into Merry's mast.
"…Am I missing something?" Gan Fall asked.
"It's a private joke, apparently, and I think we're all better off if it stays private," Nami muttered.
Gan Fall shrugged in acceptance, and as he and the still-steadfastly silent Pierre flew away, I slowly pulled away from the mast and turned my eyes back on Vivi, my expression carefully neutral. "Right… first things first."
THWACK!
"OW!" Vivi yelped, clutching her skull as I rapped my fist on it. "Why me? She's the one who hit you!"
"Like I don't know a patsy when I see one," I scoffed. "I get hit, I hit back, and I still owe you for that bit before Jaya, so watch your back!" I took a moment to huff and get the frustration out of my system before sighing and relaxing. "That aside… nice going, princess. That was some damn fine work; if we meet Wiper again, I think we have a much better chance of being neutral rather than enemies."
Vivi stared at me uncertainly for a few seconds before smiling. "Thanks, Cross."
I smiled back, but that smile faded as I turned to address the rest of the crew. "Now, everyone, listen up. This is extremely important."
I abruptly had everyone's attention.
"Once we reach the White-White Sea—that would be the upper layer of the Cumuloregalis, about 11,000 feet above us—I'm not going to be able to talk freely about what I know. Really sensitive stuff and all that. Everything will be fine for the immediate future, and I'll tell you about the rough stuff when the rough gets going. But until the day after tomorrow, don't ask me about anything that I shouldn't know. Otherwise… well, let's just say that failure up here is not an option for anyone with a conscience. Got it?"
A round of nods and affirmative statements, shaky and confident alike, started coming at me from the rest of the crew.
"Good. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to be writing down what's going to happen so I don't have to say it out loud when the time is right. Robin, care to help me out?"
"Me?" she asked in surprise.
"Her?" concurred many others.
"Well, I could use an extra set of hands or ten to make copies, and she's the only one of us who has any decent amount of experience at keeping her trap shut despite knowing that one slip-up could get her dead."
"Excuse me?" Vivi snapped indignantly, only to wilt under glares from Zoro, Nami, Soundbite, and myself. "…One slip of the tongue one time, and you just can't let it go, can you?"
"NO."
I then proceeded to grin cheekily. "Plus, Robin would just use her powers to peek anyway; this way, I imagine she'll enjoy helping me with figuring out how to properly mess with you all."
Robin blinked at me curiously, before grinning with equal cheekiness and slinking by me on the way to the kitchen. "You know me so well, Mister Jeremiah," she crooned.
I stiffened and rammed my knuckles into my thigh to calm myself before pinning a cold glare at her. "Move along."
Thankfully, she was content to do so with an airy chuckle… that had Sanji glaring blazing daggers at me. I responded with a flat 'fuck-off' look before looking over at Usopp. "And by the way, I'm gonna want to talk to you once I'm done. And bring your tools; you're gonna have to work fast."
"Does that involve me, too?" Lassoo asked cautiously.
"It could if you want it to," I offered, before pausing as a thought struck me. "It could also involve a discussion with Chopper about Rumble Balls…?"
Lassoo snorted and waved his paw. "Pass. I'm a gun that can turn into a dog, I'm badass enough already. I already let these two dig around in me before, and it was a miracle that the only thing to go wrong was the oil, I'm not letting them go for round two."
"HEY!" the doctor and sniper yelled in offense.
I settled for shrugging indifferently. "Fair enough. Anyway, let's get sailing, people. Set sail for that cloudfall over yonder!" I indicated the horizon before heading up towards the cabin.
As I mounted the stairs, I heard Boss heave a heavy sigh. "Is anyone else starting to get tired of his cryptic-ass Sea King shite?"
I barked out a laugh and waved over my shoulder. "Love you too, Boss."
One nice thing about the White Sea was that being this high in the atmosphere, there wasn't any of the crazy Grand Line weather we usually had to deal with. This was probably the calmest the sea had been since sailing to Loguetown, and most of us took the time to relax, even Nami; I guess having extraordinarily mild weather and a clear landmark to navigate to just made it too easy, especially after the hell that was the Grand Line's weather.
Hence, everyone took the time to relax in their own ways. Some trained, some slept, some leaped overboard and went sightseeing…
And me? Well, with Robin's help, I managed to get nine copies of the notes detailing everything relevant I could remember involving Eneru, the priests, and the Enforcers, as well as a basic outline of the war's events up until Luffy defeated Eneru. I also put in the notes about the few Shandians I remembered by name, what to say to convince them that we were on their side, and which ones would listen to reason. And finally, I made sure to emphasize how important it would be to steal any and all Dials from the Priests or Enforcers that they defeated, or at any opportunity they got. With that much more firepower in our collective arsenal, with any luck, we'd be able to deal with any inevitable curveballs in the coming arcs that the great butterfly in the sky would flap our way.
"Are you sure that we don't need more than this, Mister Jeremiah?" Robin asked quietly.
"Nah, we've got enough," I shook my head as I read them over, double-checking the facts I'd gotten down. "One copy each for you, Zoro, Nami, Usopp, Sanji, Chopper, Vivi, Boss, and the TDWS to split. Luffy wouldn't want one, and really, he doesn't need it."
"I was more referring to the fact that you've only given the most basic details regarding events that, if left unchanged, would destroy an entire island and thousands of lives," she replied warily, looking through her own packet with unease. "I assume you can understand why that bothers me."
I shrugged as I started sliding the packets into my messenger bag. "I get your trepidation, I really do, but honestly, as the involvement of your…" I shuddered heavily as my shoulder burned. "Shall we say, ex-furry friends demonstrated, the world tends to auto-correct things so that fate flows as it's meant to. No guarantees, mind you, human error and all that, but…"
I shrugged helplessly. "Really, now, what more can I do? If they rely too much on details that don't happen, things could end up worse than anticipated. And believe me…" serpentguy's story flitted through my mind, drawing out a shiver. "I've seen worse. It doesn't end pretty. At least this way, there's a chance that if all goes well, we'll be able to save Angel Island. And if not… we'll at least cut down on how many people die or, at minimum, fry. If that's all I can do, then I have to be satisfied with it."
Robin looked at me with an appraising, curious expression. "If I can't ask how you know all of this—"
"Crew's right out there, I'm certain they'll be all ears," I deadpanned, jabbing my thumb over my shoulder.
Robin twitched slightly before moving on. "—then may I ask why you follow the path that your knowledge lays out for you, knowing all of the difficulties and dangers along the way? I never had a choice, but as you have no bounty… yet, at any rate, I can only assume that you chose this path willingly, even knowing how much things could go wrong. So, why did you do it?"
I blinked in surprise before chuckling darkly. "Well, believe me, it wasn't my choice at first; suffice to say I got a bit mouthy, one thing led to another, and I wound up in the East Blue. After that, I got lucky enough to run into Luffy and the Straw Hats of the time, who were just everyone from Sanji down and… well…" I trailed off as I remembered that day.
I leaned back in my seat and crossed my arms behind my head as I gazed up at the ceiling. "I'll be honest… I originally planned on joining the Straw Hats for the same reason as you: survival. I knew they were strong, I knew they were… relatively morally upstanding, and while their journey was never going to be safe, at least I'd be with the people who'd ultimately pull through."
"But something happened," Robin divined.
My eyes glazed over slightly as I remember the exact moment she was unwittingly referring to.
"I'm gonna be king of the pirates!"
I grinned warmly at that particular memory. "Yeah, something happened alright: the force of nature that is Monkey D. Luffy. The guy's hopeless in a number of ways. He can't swing a sword worth a damn, can't cook for shit, can't navigate, can't lie, no medical skills I'd let him try on me, he's a bottomless pit, and on his intelligence…"
"A GOOFBALL! A wingnut! A KNUCKLEHEAD MCSPAZATRON!" Soundbite eagerly provided.
I cocked my eyebrow at him. "Didn't you use that one back when we first met the crew?"
"HEY, YOU'RE NOT the only one reminiscing! Talking about back then SPARKED MY—say, did we EVER PAY LUFFY BACK FOR KNOCKING US OUT OF THAT TREE?"
I frowned. "You know what, I don't think we ever did," I muttered darkly. "We've gotten him a few times for a few things, but… we'll have to work on that."
"Your point, Mister Jeremiah, about our captain's many faults?" Robin asked, though her smile distinctly said she didn't mind the delay.
I snapped my attention back to her. "As I was saying, for all that Luffy's got flaws, making fast friends isn't one of them. I planned on joining the Straw Hat Pirates for my own benefit, but…" I chuckled and shrugged helplessly. "Instead I got ensnared and drawn into this life hook, line, sinker, and rod. I tried to keep it intellectual, to play it safe, but they had other ideas. Simply put… I intended to sail with the Straw Hats, but instead, at some point or another, I became a Straw Hat. And honestly, it's not like I was protesting all that much."
"That's intriguing, Mister Jeremiah, but I'm not sure that it answers my original question."
I shrugged. "95% of my knowledge is centered around the Straw Hat Pirates, their lives, and their journey. I originally joined them so that I could use that knowledge and stay safe."
Robin cocked an eyebrow, no doubt at my tone of voice. "But no longer, I take it?"
I smiled wistfully as I nodded in agreement. "I'm no longer content with just 'knowing' the journey, Robin. Now… now I want to be a part of it."
Robin processed that for a moment before glancing back at her notes. "And despite everything, the life-threatening situations, the opposing pirates, the abuse at the hands of your fellow crewmates—"
"Hey, it's not like they're actively aiming to hurt-hurt me!" I promptly defended. "There's a world of emotional pain between getting clocked over the head by a closed fist and getting a slap from an open hand. And besides, I used to be a lot more squishy. It's actually kind of nice to be able to take hits and keep on rolling without worry!"
"…I do believe you could have used a better word than 'squishy,' Mister Jeremiah. But that aside, with all of that as well as how little you imply that you're capable of changing the outcome, you still believe that following the path your knowledge leads you down has more good than bad?"
I nodded without hesitation. "By a long shot. It's hard at times, and I'll admit that certain events could shatter all the confidence I have, but I know that I'm still on the right path; when all is said and done, I have confidence in following my dreams."
Robin sighed. "Then I hope you're prepared for the disappointment that will come one day."
I couldn't suppress a wince at hearing the sheer brokenness in her voice. I hesitated for a minute before speaking up again. "Tomorrow, when we set out again… do your best to find your way to Shandora."
Robin glanced up at me curiously. "And the reason for this prompting is…?"
I considered for a moment before spreading my hands helplessly. "Because while it will be a hard and perilous journey, those are the most rewarding journeys of all."
The archaeologist pondered what I was saying, before smiling and nodding lightly, and unless I was mistaken, I saw hope in her expression. "Very well, then, I'll just have to trust you… Cross."
I smiled back before standing up and walking to the door. "I'm going to hang on to the rest of these notes until we get ready to go," I said as I opened it. Then I blinked as I took in our progress towards the gate. Or what little we'd made, at any rate.
"Huh, looks like we finished with plenty of time to spare. Well…" I grinned viciously as I trailed my hand into my bag. "Only one thing for it, then. After all, we can't leave all those poor, delusional bastards in Marineford hoping we died, can we?" I sent an inquiring glance back at Robin. "Don't suppose I can get you to guest-star for a bit, can I? Maybe even make it sound like a coincidence and get them searching the skies for you in vain?"
Robin visibly pondered that for a moment, giving my proposition much more consideration than she had the last time I'd asked before shaking her head. "Thank you, Cross, but no. I'd like to imagine that I still have some measure of goodwill left with the World Government, and I'd rather refrain from needlessly reducing them to ash."
I shrugged indifferently. "If that's your choice, so be it. For now, though," I unhooked the transceiver mic and stepped outside. "Wish me luck!"
-o-
"Don don don don!"
"DAMN IT!"
Kizaru glanced upwards and whistled as something akin to an explosion shook the main tower of Marineford, causing no small amount of plaster to rain down on him. "Hmm… Looks like the boss isn't that happy the Straw Hats survived." He then glanced down at the snail ringing on his desk and hummed contemplatively. "Hm… what to do, what to do… pick up and see if they actually made it to Sky Island, most likely pissing off Sengoku in the process, or just go for a walk around Sabaody and see what comes up."
He stretched slightly in his seat as he contemplated matters of deep, deep importance before he ultimately shrugged and aimed a finger-pistol at the Snail. "Eh, I've got nothing better to do."
And with that, he shot the mic off the back of the ringing snail with a bolt of light, causing the frightened gastropod to perk up with a cocky expression. "Three and two and one and we are live! Good afternoon, loyal listeners, and allow me to say that—!"
"DOUBLE SUN POWER!"
"GAH!" Cross yelped in shock as the sound of flapping came over the connection. "What the hell are you—!?"
"I'M INTERRUPTING YOUR WEAK-ASS INTRODUCTION! ONLY MEMBERS OF THE BEAR-GLOVE TRIBE ARE POWERFUL ENOUGH TO INFORM THE WORLD THAT IT'S TIME TO START THE SBS!"
"GET THE HELL OFF MY HEAD, YOU FEATHERY MENACE!" Cross roared indignantly.
"WHAT HE SAID! STOPPING Cross from starting the SBS is MY SCHTICK!" Soundbite barked in agreement.
"GOODBYE!" the foreign voice cried before apparently flapping away again. Incoherent grumbling came across the speaker before Cross spoke again.
"Viewers? If you care about your sanity, do. Not. ASK. And stay away from Jaya, too, particularly the jungle. Ergh, sweet mother of… Anyway! You no doubt want to know whether or not we managed to reach Sky Island! Well, listeners, the answer is a big fat yes!… but also no. You see, there is not merely an island up here in the sky, but a sea… a sea made of clouds! I realize, of course, that this must sound insane, but I assure you, I am not speaking out of my ass! We are currently sailing on a sea of pure filmy white 'liquid', though I hesitate to call it that, having touched it for myself. Words… fail to describe the sheer beauty of what I see right now…"
Kizaru whistled in awe as he eyed the snail. "Well, well, it looks like they actually managed to make it. I'm quite impressed. Wonder if I'll actually get to meet—"
BANG!
Kizaru blinked in surprise as he crossed his eyes to glance up at the swiftly-closing hole in his forehead before turning his gaze on the wall of his office behind his Transponder Snail. "A problem, Vice-Admiral Brett?"
"YOU SHOT ME AGAIN, YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" an agonized bellow echoed through the wall, aided by the fact that said wall looked more like swiss cheese than an architectural structure. "STOP SHOOTING YOUR DAMN SNAIL AND ACTUALLY GET UP TO ANSWER IT FOR ONCE!
"Ah, really, again? Whoops, my bad. This is what, the tenth time?"
"SCREW YOU, ASSHOLE!"
"Well, no need to be rude…"
-o-
"But oddly enough, despite us being… HEY, NAMI! IMPERIAL TO METRIC, HOW HIGH ARE WE?… THANKS! As I was saying, despite us being 7,000 meters above the sea, we still haven't reached the island our Log Pose is pointing to yet. That's right, listeners, our journey is only partially complete! We're currently on our way to where I assume we'll find the way up to our destination, located 10,000 meters above the sea."
"An ocean in the clouds actually exists… hmm. I would have expected it to be difficult to breathe at that altitude, but it seems that they're having no trouble," Koshiro reflected.
"Sensei, is Zoro really up there? There are really islands up there?" the young students clamored.
"Well, I can't claim to have seen them myself, but I think I'm more inclined to believe Cross than not," the swordmaster replied, looking curiously at the snail.
"Awesome! I wanna go up there!"
"Unfortunately, viewers, it's not all euphoria and beauty up here; within minutes of arriving, we became acquainted with the local wildlife—including sharks, sea serpents, and octopi—followed by meeting a guerilla warrior—that's the war term, not the primate—who tried to blow us apart as soon as he saw us. We were only saved thanks to a mercenary riding an oversized bird that ate the Horse-Horse Fruit. Does that last part sound cool?"
"NOT SO MUCH, suckers," Soundbite piped up.
"No kidding, you wouldn't expect a pegasus to be so unimpressive. Besides, Pierre's big enough to ride without being a Zoan, and he clearly hasn't put any effort into actually exploring the usefulness of his powers… hmm. I should have told him to do that. Well, we'll probably meet again. Ah, hey! We're getting close to… wow, some kind of gate? Geeze, this place is loads more civilized than anyone could have suspected! Well, a quick guess says that things are going to get real hectic, real fast. So, sorry for the brevity, but for the moment and probably returning later today, this is Jeremiah Cross—"
"AND SOUNDBITE!"
"Signing off!"
"Well, so much for not making a habit of broadcasting three times a day," Koshiro muttered as the snail fell asleep again.
"Uh, sensei?" one of his students raised his hand curiously.
"Yes?"
"Why are you saying that like it's a bad thing?"
Koshiro opened his mouth to respond… then closed it. "Good point, thank you."
-o-
"Hot damn…" I whistled as I gazed up at the cloud-fall reaching up into the heavens before us. If I'd thought the damn thing was massive from a distance, it was absolutely titanic up close! And the architecture of Heaven's Gate was quite awe-inspiring as well… though it'd panicked more than a few other members of the crew.
"That name does not fill me with confidence…" Usopp swallowed nervously.
"Oh, so dat ain't just me?" Carue quacked in agreement.
"Oh, calm down!" Boss scoffed with a waved hand. "Ya bunch of pussies. I, for one, think this to be exciting! For to storm the very gates of Heaven itse—ERK!" The dugong froze as a cyan rod of metal tapped itself on top of his shell.
"Not the time, got it?" Nami stated frigidly.
"Yes'm."
"Good."
"Woohoo!" Luffy cheered eagerly. "Heaven, heaven, we're all going to heaven!"
"This is going to be quite the experience…" Robin mused.
"Never expected to get up here in any sense of the word, did ya?" I grinned cheekily. I then grimaced as a hand slapped against the back of my head. "Okay, bad taste, my bad."
"Anything we should look out for, Cross?" Vivi asked as she examined the gateway.
"Ehh…" I mused slightly before nodding as I pointed out the door that had opened in the structure. "Eeyup, over there."
"Pardon me," Amazon called out as she started clicking images with her Vision Dial. "But are you here as tourists or as invaders?" She didn't give us a chance to respond before continuing. "Either way, it doesn't matter. If you wish to ascend to the White-White Sea, the price is one billion extols per person. That is the law."
Sanji paled in horror as he took in the gatekeeper. "Please tell me that not all angels look that old up here…" he whimpered pitifully.
"Don't worry, you'll be fine," I muttered as I rolled my eyes.
"THANK GOD!"
I wisely decided not to inform him about how shouting that up here was a particularly bad idea.
Nami started making some mental calculations before raising her hand curiously. "Ah, pardon me, but do animals count towards the total tally?"
"It doesn't matter either way, as it is not necessary to pay the toll to pass," Amazon shrugged noncommittally.
"SERIOUSLY!?" Usopp, Carue, and Chopper yelped in shock.
"WOOHOO!" Nami cheered eagerly. "That means we don't have to pay over a million beri in entry fees!"
Vivi, meanwhile, was far more cautious. "We really don't need to pay?" she asked skeptically. "Not even a single extol?"
"Of course not," Amazon nodded solemnly. "The choice on whether to pay or not is entirely yours. I am neither a gatekeeper nor a guardian, I neither can nor will stop you. My purpose here is merely to observe and record."
Vivi narrowed her eyes accusingly. "So that you can relay who paid and who didn't to the local authorities."
The crew (or at least the members who understood what Vivi was saying) tensed up as Amazon smiled… or smirked, more like it. "You would be surprised at how few read between the lines…" she chuckled knowingly.
Zoro glanced at me cautiously. "Cross—?"
I gave him a flat look. "Do you seriously think we'd be able to go ten minutes without breaking any laws even if we did pay?"
"THUG LIFE! Yippee-kai-YAY!" Soundbite whooped ecstatically.
"Besides, how likely is it that Nami would ever consider handing over a million beri for something so…" I air-quoted. "Trivial?"
"NEVER!" Nami pledged viciously as she jabbed her Clima-Tact in the air.
"Well, if that's your final decision," Amazon shrugged as she dug through her robes.
"Nonononowait!" Vivi tried to protest as the elderly woman withdrew and activated a Tone Dial, which was the signal for a pair of big, meaty claws to burst out of the river of clouds beneath us and grab onto the remains of the Merry's wings.
"That is the Lobster Express of the White Sea," Amazon called out. "Hold on tight and enjoy the ride."
And with that, for the second time that day, the Merry accelerated to speeds that no caravel had ever achieved before, throwing us off our feet and leaving us grasping at whatever we could grab as we wound and twirled our way up the Milky Road to the White-White Sea.
And while I was whooping it up and enjoying the thrill ride for the fun time that it was (obviously), others were taking a more… reserved stance.
"JUST ONCE CAN WE COME TO AN ISLAND WITHOUT CAUSING A STUPIDLY HUGE SCENE?!" Vivi screamed over the rushing winds.
"PFFHAHAHAHA! LEMME GET BACK TO YOU ON THAT!" I cackled eagerly.
Sadly, the voyage came to an end all too soon, though at least it was a damn spectacular one, because shooting up and out of the clouds to behold a tropical freaking paradise arrayed before us, an utterly impossible island situated several thousand meters above the ocean... well. Awesome is such an overused word, but this truly inspired awe.
Trees grew everywhere, and giant chains of plant matter supporting massive Milky Roads stretched to and from the island. The buildings were normal enough, though at first glance, they seemed to have a thing for staircases. But the part that made it impossible was the fact that the island looked to be built entirely on different layers of clouds. It was amazing… and yet, I couldn't enjoy the sight as much as I wanted to, knowing the island's fate. I closed my eyes, looking away from my exuberant crewmates, only to feel a hand on my shoulder. I looked over to see Robin standing beside me, a ghost of a smile on her face.
"Do your best, and if that's all you can do, be satisfied with it," she said softly.
I almost managed to smile back as I nodded, and turned to look back at Angel Island. Apart from the aforementioned exuberance and awe that had even Robin interested, the journey to the beach was uneventful.
Reaching the shore, on the other hand, was heralded by eager cries of joy from Luffy, Usopp, Chopper, and Carue, who leaped onto the beach and started running around like maniacs. The saner members stayed aboard, though all of them, even Zoro, were staring at the situation in wonder. Glancing at my shoulder, even Soundbite was staring in starry-eyed awe.
I then realized that our guests had yet to take off, and I looked back at the railing to see both Terry and Isaiah staring at the island with interest.
"So, what are you two going to do now?" I asked curiously. "I'm sort of surprised you didn't take off after we got to where the Knock-Up Stream was."
"Hmm," Isaiah nodded to me. "I will readily admit that I was initially unprepared to accompany your crew on this journey. However… apart from the fact that I'm interested to learn more about these 'Shandians' that that Wiper fellow mentioned, the magnificent suavity of the voice I now have is a treasure that I don't intend to give up so easily."
"For once, I agree with him," Terry said calmly… before going right back to yelling. "I'M NOT READY TO GIVE UP BEING ABLE TO SPEAK WITH A VOICE THAT SO PERFECTLY MATCHES MY POWEEEEEEER!"
I rolled my eyes but otherwise didn't react. "Alright, have it your way. But behave yourselves, got it?"
Both of them nodded.
"So, Cross," Vivi asked as she slowly slid up next to me, eyeing me skeptically. "Care to tell me just how much trouble we're in for not paying?"
I slowly turned back to her, my eyes narrowing, and Zoro and Robin both mimicked the action. It took her all of two seconds before she winced, realizing her mistake. "Okay, wait—"
I chuckled and shook my head placatingly as I knelt down and started unfastening my gauntlets and greaves. I'd taken to wearing them as often as possible, because really, when wasn't I getting into danger these days? "Don't worry, don't worry, it's fine. Not like they don't already know anyways, communications are pretty fast up here! And I'll tell you, I swear! I just need to do one thing first."
Vivi perked up. "And that would be—?"
And with that, I promptly vaulted over the edge of the Merry and ran eagerly towards the beach. "WOOHOO, SKY ISLAND!"
"DAMN IT, CROSS!" Vivi screamed after me.
"DON'T CARE, HAVING TOO MUCH FUN!" I called back. And I really, really was! The beach was squishy and fluffy, like an entirely natural moonbounce, and it was absolute freaking heaven on my feet!
I whooped ecstatically as I joined Chopper in rolling around. "This is awe~so~me!"
"OVER THE SEA, Darling it's better, UP WHERE IT'S HIGHER, Take it from me!" Soundbite sang ecstatically.
"Damn it, Cross…" Vivi ground out, pinching the bridge of her nose.
"Aw, c'mon, Vivi, live a little!" Nami prompted with a chuckle as she patted her friend's shoulder. "I mean, he's not wrong! Look around!" She waved her arm out at our surroundings. "We're in the sky, Vivi! We are stepping where no man—!"
"Where few Blue Sea Dwellers!" I corrected.
"…alright, that takes a lot of the steam out of me, but…" Nami leaped into the surf and stretched her arms with a euphoric groan. "Come on, it's a beach! In the sky! The Marines can't reach us here—can they?"
"Not unless they're willing to take a shitload of time or manage to get some reinforced ships onto the right Knock-Up Stream; if it was remotely easy to get up here, the World Government would have territories in the sky already. Plus, this isn't the only Sky Island. In short, no; we could stay here for a year and they probably wouldn't manage to track us down anytime soon."
"Eeeheehee, then that means I can finally take some time to cut loose and relax on an actual beach!" Nami giggled. "I haven't taken the time to relax on one since before I met Luffy!"
"Heheh, ye—hey, wait, me neither!" I sat up. "The only beach I've been to since I left home was the one on that island I was marooned on and that sort of took any possible enjoyment out of it! Damn it, this adventure has been hectic so far!"
"But I must admit that it has had its advantages…" Robin mused as she moved towards the railing. "Until now I never stopped to think of any of this as adventurous. Perhaps I should reconsider my stance." And with that, she jumped into the clouds.
"You heard the scary-ass assassin lady!" Boss whooped from the tree he was hanging out of. "Boys, I have but one order for you! Cu~t loo~se!"
"Aye-aye, Boss!" the four of them cheered, sheathing their weapons and stashing them in their shells before spreading out and thoroughly enjoying the scenery.
"C'mon, Vivi!" Carue called. "Twy to have fun! We can wowwy about whatevah twouble we get into when we get into it, but wight now, this is fweaking amazing!"
"Hey Carue, check this out!"
CLONK!
"QUAGH! WATCH IT, LUFFY!"
Vivi chewed on her lip for a moment before ultimately sighing, and allowing a smile to come over her face. "Why do I even try to be sensible around a crew like this? I just can't stay worried," she reflected fondly.
"That's the spirit! Now, do me a favor, would you?"
"What is it, Cro—?"
SPLAT!
"Did that feel like a snowball to you or should I pack it tighter—?"
"GET BACK HERE SO THAT I CAN DROWN YOU, CROSS!"
"PFHAHAHA! CATCH ME FIRST, WEAK-WIMP!"
"PREPARE TO DIE, CROSS!"
"LOOK OUT, wild cook ON THE LOOSE!"
"PFFHAHAHAHAAAA!"
We spent the next few minutes having… relative amounts of fun and enjoying ourselves, and Sanji had just gotten me under his heel when the air was suddenly filled with the sound of music.
Sanji froze mid-pre-pummel, glancing up in confusion. "What the—?" He then froze as he caught sight of the one playing the harp, standing on a hill of cloud several meters away. He seemed too shocked to even go into love mode. "It's an angel," he breathed.
I grinned, taking advantage of Sanji's distraction to push myself up to my feet. "Indeed she is. Now, if you'll excuse me." Once she stopped playing—and damn was she good, like 'Brook has competition' good—I called out, "Heso!"
Conis started in shock before smiling kindly and waving back. "Heso! Are you from the Blue Sea?"
"Yeah, we flew up here in our ship," Luffy nodded in a devil-may-care manner. "Do you live up here?"
"Indeed I do," Conis nodded as she strode up to us. "Welcome to Skypiea's Angel Beach, my home." She noticed the ginormous nuts Luffy was carrying (HA!) and giggled in amusement, no doubt having seen this kind of thing countless times before. "I see you're eager to try some conash, hm? You won't have any luck that way, though. The outside of the shell is as hard as steel; you have to cut through the underside." She promptly demonstrated as much with a switchblade she pulled out of…
I leaned around to the side slightly as I examined her dress for pockets and came up empty. "Ah… where exactly did you—?"
Conis grinned cheekily as she stored the thing somewhere before picking up Su. "My name is Conis, and this is my pet, Su. She's a cloud fox."
"Su—so! It's nice to meet you—what in the name of the great lightning bast—MMPH!?"
Conis hastily clamped her hand over Su's muzzle with a mildly panicked expression. I winced myself, surreptitiously scanning the thankfully clear skies; that could have been very, very bad. Once I confirmed that Eneru wasn't going to turn us into crispy jerky, I processed the voice that Soundbite had given Su and looked at the snail quizzically.
"Should I recognize that one?" I asked.
"You didn't watch POKÉMON?" Soundbite asked in honest surprise, then tilted his head. "BUT WAIT, you mentioned Greninja back in ALABASTA."
"I did watch it… to Diamond and Pearl, anyway," I mused before shaking my head. "And anyway, they didn't use… gonna say Vulpix?" Soundbite nodded in affirmation. "Yeah, didn't show up again past season one… or two, whatever, Kanto/Johto, you know. And besides, she never said anything besides 'Vulpix.'"
"FAIR ENOUGH."
"Um, excuse me, but… you're responsible for Su talking?" Conis asked shakily.
"He is," I pointed at Soundbite with a flat look. "Yeah, our ship is pretty chock-full of Devil Fruit users. Soundbite is one of the least—!" CHOMP! "YEOWCH! Okay, okay, withdrawn!" I yelped, tugging at the bastard gnawing on my neck.
"Ah, getting back to my talking cloud fox, please?" Conis used her free hand to point at the yet-struggling Su.
"Noise-Noise Fruit, one of the many uses he's come up with for it is for him to act as a translator for animals. Sorry?" I shrugged sheepishly.
Conis sighed before smiling kindly. "No no, it's perfectly fine, I'm happy Su can talk, she just needs to…" She gave her pet a meaningful glance. "Learn how to watch what she says?"
Su stopped struggling for a moment before nodding in agreement. "Heso? Heso? Holy goat-sack ass-biters! I can actually talk!"
"Su! What did I just say?"
"What!? I didn't say anything about him!"
I sighed as Soundbite cackled beside me; somehow, I expected Su to be a lot more like her mistress. But then again, when you combine fox with no doubt shittons of pent-up resentment for said mistress's oppressors, I suppose it shouldn't have come as a surprise. "Ahem, sorry about that, but once he starts the only way to get him to stop is by gagging him and, well…"
"Some of us doth protest to that course of action!" Boss cut in.
"Seconded!" Carue squawked.
"And I make three," Lassoo added from the Island Cloud lounge chair he'd quite literally burrowed himself into.
"Sorry?" I offered sheepishly.
Conis glanced down at Su before waving her hand in a placating gesture. "It's perfectly fine, I was just… surprised, is all." She then re-adopted her by-then-signature smile. "Honestly, I should be thanking you, it'll be nice to actually talk with Su!"
"INCOMING sea-scooter," Soundbite suddenly announced out of the blue.
"Oh, the klutz is back!" Su perked up happily.
"SU!"
"The charm wears off fast, don't it?" I snickered.
Conis fumed silently for a moment before looking out to sea and smiling fondly. "Well, it looks like my father's back from fishing! Heso, father!"
"Conis, heso!" Pagaya waved back… though probably not the brightest of moves given how badly he was shaking on his Waver.
"What the heck does 'Heso' mean!?" Luffy questioned in confusion.
"Do the words 'cultural sensitivity' mean absolutely nothing to you, Luffy?" Vivi asked before sighing and pinching the bridge of her nose. "What am I even saying?"
Conis, meanwhile, looked at Luffy with just as much befuddlement. "But wait, didn't your friend—?"
"Say, what's he riding?" Nami interrupted as she gazed curiously out at Pagaya's fast-approaching form.
"It looks cool!" Chopper squealed eagerly.
Before anything else could be said, Pagaya started swerving a bit as he approached. "Pardon me, but I am coming ashore."
And indeed he was; he was coming in fast… very fast… OHSHI—!
"DOOOODGE!" Soundbite cried, an action I hastily performed to avoid becoming the Blue Sea World's first case of vehicular manslaughter.
"Do you really think I've been calling him a klutz all these years for nothing?" Su deadpanned.
"Bite me, bushy-tail…" I growled into the beach. "I'd like to see you do any better on that thing."
"Like I'd ever be stupid enough to get on it, two-legs."
"Oh, dear, is anyone hurt?" Pagaya asked as he shakily got to his feet.
"Only big-mouth's pride!"
"Su…" Conis groaned, nigh comical tears trailing down her face at this point.
"Ya know—!"
"Cross, before you get into an argument with a fox," Nami interjected as she glanced over at me. "Is that a fixed up version of the thing we salvaged?"
I huffed as I sent a final glare at an all-too-smug Su before nodding to Nami. "Yeah, it's called a Waver. Though it's not quite the same, seeing how our version's got twice as much horsepower."
Conis looked at me in surprise. "Wait, you know about Wavers, too? And you have one?"
"Eh, not really," I waved her off. "That's the first one we've seen in person, the one we have is sky-based, too. We only have it because we found it in a two-century-old wrecked ship that nearly fell on top of us yesterday."
"I… see…" Conis hedged uneasily, obviously trying to process what she was hearing.
"Oh, hello there," Pagaya waved at us in greeting. "I take it you must be from the Blue Sea?"
"Yup yup yup!" Soundbite piped up.
"Devil Fruit," I said before Pagaya could ask.
"Ah. Well, I see you've met my daughter. My name is Pagaya, it's a pleasure to meet you."
"Jeremiah Cross and Soundbite, same to you," I replied. "I don't suppose you know anyone good with Wavers? We've got one in our boat that needs some serious repair work; the Dial engines looked intact, but besides that—"
"You even know about Dials? Have you been to a Sky Island before?" Conis asked wonderingly.
"No, but I read a very detailed story about a crew that did travel to a Sky Island," I said truthfully, and then slapped myself, grimacing. "Damn, I forgot to bring vearth."
"The heck is vearth?" Zoro asked.
"Exactly what it sounds like…" I sighed as I ground the heel of my palm into my forehead. "A jar of the stuff would have been useful."
"I got a jar of di-irt, I got a jar of di-irt, and guess what's inside it?" Soundbite sang.
"What could a most beautiful angel of the heavens," Sanji sang dreamily before snapping back to affronted. "Want with dirt?"
"Q-Quite a bit, actually!" said angel jumped in shock. "You see, Island Cloud—that is to say, the cloud we are standing on now—is capable of sustaining plant life, but it cannot cause it to sprout. To grow our crops, those of us who inhabit the sky need vearth. As such, it is a highly sacred substance to us! A jar of it would have been…" She sighed sadly. "Most beneficial for us…"
"I am so sorry about that…" I trailed off before re-slapping myself. "Hang on a minute, I'm a complete dipshit. Hey, Nami, you think you could spare some soil from your tangerine grove?"
"Huh?" Nami asked, before looking thoughtful. "Hmm, if it's just the soil… yeah, I think we have enough that I could spare a jar or two, as long as we replenish it as soon as we head back down."
"Perfect! Any chance we could trade them for a couple of spare Dials you've got and a good repairman for the fossil-Waver we have?" I asked the trade-ees in question.
"P-Pardon me, but I'm a Dial-engineer myself. I'll gladly take a look at it, and we have a small collection of spare Dials in our house," Pagaya said, both shocked and happy. "If you're really giving us a jarful of vearth, that's more than a fair trade. Thank you, Cross."
"Yay! We can grow our own foxnip now!" Su said happily.
Conis winced uncomfortably. "Su, the last time you got foxnip, you made your way through the town six times before we managed to catch you!"
The cloud fox's response was to giggle and wave her tail happily. "I know! Why do you think I want to try it again?"
"You're MY KIND of fox, GIRLY!" Soundbite cackled.
"Thanks! You're pretty cool yourself, greaseball!"
I slapped my hand on Soundbite's shell with a grimace. "Talking animal companions. Can't live with them, can barely live without them, am I right?"
"I'm starting to get the picture…" Conis concurred morosely.
While Zoro retrieved the Waver and Nami and Sanji went to get the soil from the grove—Sanji to keep Nami from dirtying her hands and Nami because she'd never let anyone touch the trees without her being there, not even… least of all us—a round of introductions and conversation followed as Conis and Pagaya learned of the unfamiliar species of Supersonic Ducks, Kung-Fu Dugongs, and even Transponder Snails. That was a problem that I'd have to think about more; I wanted to be able to keep in contact with Conis, Wiper, Gan Fall, and the rest of them through the SBS when we left, but there was no convenient Transponder Snail on board that we had forgotten about. The only solution I could see was leaving behind Pinky or the Brain, or both, and that was a decidedly less-than-optimal choice. Ultimately, though, I decided to cross that bridge when we came to it; it was the least of my worries while Eneru was still around.
After Nami and Sanji gave the vearth to the overjoyed Conis, Pagaya, and Su, Nami took Pagaya's Waver out for a spin after I yanked Luffy back from it. I wisely neglected to mention that it was supposed to take ten years of practice before anyone could ride a Waver that well until after she was well on her way. Because there was no way in hell I was going to put up with that much gloating.
After watching the navigator zip back and forth on the waves for a bit—and honestly, it was rather impressive, and I really looked forward to riding shotgun on the thing—Pagaya stated that he would probably be able to repair our Waver, once he got back to his house, and invited us over for dinner.
I took that chance to call Nami back, calmly insisting on her joining us. Fortunately, she was able to read between the lines of me using the words 'get your ass back here now' and jabbing a finger at the beach, and she came back quickly enough. The walk up the stairs towards Pagaya's house and past the cloud quarry featured Pagaya explaining how the islands were formed, thanks to the pyrobloin sent into the sky from volcanic eruptions increasing the clouds' density. And I had to admit, the quarry was, at the risk of overusing the word, awesome to look at. Simplistic, and yet there was a definite sense of precision and industry to it. It was quite a sight.
Once we arrived at the house, Sanji and Pagaya headed straight for the kitchen, while Conis fetched a small box full of very distinct shells.
"These are all the spare Dials that we have. I'm afraid they're just common household ones that we keep in case the ones we use break: Breath, Flame, Tone, Vision, Flavor, Heat, and Water. But you're welcome to whichever ones you'd like," she said kindly.
"Well, we'll definitely want the Water Dial," I said, remembering how little the story touched on that particular Dial. "Fresh, drinkable water is a rarity down on the Blue Seas, and any means of storing it would be of great use to us."
"A good choice," Conis nodded in agreement before holding up a very familiar spiky Dial. "Especially if you decided to take its counterpart, the Flame Dial, as well!"
"Ah—ERK!" I started to hedge before cutting myself off in a hiss. Getting your shoulders crushed by two separate irate females does that to you.
"Thanks," Nami grit out irritably. "But we already salvaged one from the ship that fell on us."
"We tried running some experiments with it and, needless to say…" Vivi continued, her hand digging into my collarbone. "We don't need another."
"Save me…" I whispered in terror.
Conis glanced between them for a moment before her eyes widened and she looked away, a blush rising to her face. "I believe I can understand your anger," she muttered.
"HA!" Su barked from the other side of the couch. "I remember that incident! Well, mostly, anyways! Remind me, were those underoos purple or—MMPH!?" the fox was cut off by a scary-accurate pillow lodging itself in her jaws.
"I'm so sorry—!"
"PURPLE!" Soundbite barked out with a cackle. "Her heart rate SPIKED! Quite risqué, eh—HEY!"
I growled as I forced Soundbite into his shell. Again. "No, no, I'm the one who sorely needs to apologize…"
"Might I advise merely splitting the difference and calling it even?" Robin proposed.
I sighed before looking back at Conis. "Moving on, could you show us how that Vision Dial works? I know it captures images, but how does it reproduce them on paper?"
In the end, we settled for the Water Dial, the Vision Dial and, at Sanji's request, the Flavor Dial. And shortly after that, we found ourselves enjoying the sweetest lobster I ever tasted, along with a fine selection of island fruit.
"Lobster tail…" I moaned euphorically as I sucked the scrumptious crustacean meat down. "Mother of the seas, I haven't eaten lobster in so long…"
"Didn't know you were that big of a fan of the shelled meats, Cross," Sanji chuckled.
"Lobster tail, bisque or shrimp, Sanji…" I chuckled eagerly. "Either or, I couldn't give a damn. Just gimme some and it'll be nice and gone!"
"Is it cannibalism, you ask?" Soundbite mused around the claw he was gnawing on before annihilating it and swallowing it whole. "MAYBE! BUT IT'S TOO DELICIOUS FOR ME TO CARE!"
"Well, I'll keep that in mind next time I have some," Sanji nodded confidently.
"Hey, Conis? This is delicious, but I prefer my food with more salt," Su piped up, prompting Soundbite to shudder.
"I'll remember that, Su," Conis replied, taking a shaker and sprinkling more of it over Su's plate. The fox nibbled at the food before purring contentedly.
"YOU REALIZE this means we can no longer be friends, RIGHT?" Soundbite sniffed imperiously.
Su's response was to shoot an indecipherable glance at the snail before flicking her tail. "Oh, we were friends? I hardly noticed. I tend to wipe little puddles of slime away, not befriend them."
"Su!" Conis gasped in shock.
"Wait for it…" I said, holding my finger up patiently.
Soundbite, for his part, gaped at the cloud fox for a moment before grinning a massive grin. "Correction… this feels like THE START OF A MOST BEAUTIFUL PARTNERSHIP."
"There it is."
"A fox and a snail. Sort of a weiwd paih of fwiends," Carue mumbled.
"We're talkin' about Soundbite here; I'm not surprised he'd be fast friends with a fox as snarky as this one," Lassoo said around his own mouthful of meat. "Besides, what the rest of the world calls 'weird' is more like batting 1000 for this crew. Case in point: I'm a talking gun havin' a conversation with a giant duck."
"While having dinner alongside four adolescent martial artist turtle-seals and their teacher," Mikey added.
"With said dinner cooked and flavored using seashells," Sanji continued.
"On a picturesque island in the sky, so beautiful that it brings a single tear of awe to even my most imperviously handsome eye," Isaiah contributed.
"Do I even need to mention the captain?" I asked. "I'm only half-kidding here."
"Alwight, alwight, withdwawn alweady," Carue squawked, though he was smiling.
That got a chuckle from everyone.
"So, Pagaya," Robin began. "While we may be somewhat familiar with the culture of Sky Islands in general, I'm curious as to how your day-to-day lives go on this island. Would you mind telling us more about your culture?"
Now that got something of a reaction out of the father-daughter pair. It wasn't totally overt, mind, but minute full-body clenches were kind of hard to disguise, not to mention the agitated way Su's tail fluffed out. And judging by the way that the non-moron members of the crew all to a sapient narrowed their eyes or sat up straighter, it wasn't just me.
Still, credit where it was due, apart from that singular no doubt entirely involuntary tell, Pagaya and Conis remained composed.
"Well, pardon me if I'm not all that detailed in my recollections, but as you said, you want to hear the day-to-day affairs, and those all tend to blur together," Pagaya mused thoughtfully. "Typically, I spend my day either making any Dial-devices that are commissioned from me by clients or repairing any broken appliances that I'm asked to. It's not really all that fascinating, to be honest. Dial-engineering is quite straightforward once you've learned it. Apart from that, it's mostly just fishing trips for food and for sale."
"I spend most of my time walking on the beach or practicing my harp-playing," Conis added. "I sometimes go to Lovely Street, to shop for more Dials for Father or to get other ingredients, either for dinner or for the snacks I like to make for the local children." Her smile took on a slightly saddened tint. "We're also something like unofficial lifeguards around here. I watch over the children when they go swimming and…" Her smile trembled, ever so slightly. "I welcome any Blue Sea Dwellers who come to visit. It's not uncommon, and I don't think I ever get tired of explaining the way things work up here and seeing their surprise." She then chuckled, her mood lightening up significantly. "But I have to admit, it was a pleasant surprise when I heard you say 'Heso,' Cross; it's the first time I've met a Blue Sea-dweller familiar with our culture."
"Huh? Oh!" I pointed at myself before starting and scratching the back of my head with a sheepish grin. "Well, I just knew the stories; at the time, I didn't think I'd ever actually end up with anyone crazy enough to prove them true. But I'm glad I did; if our crew ever retires, I say we come back here for the rest of our lives."
"Seconded!" said most of the rest of the crew, and the honesty in Robin's smile indicated that she concurred. But the smile Conis gave in response was noticeably strained.
And Vivi's disappeared entirely into a serious frown as she leaned forward, scrutinizing the angel intently. "Conis," she started in a very business-like tone. "Seeing as you're so familiar with the ins-and-outs of Skypiean immigration, there's something I've been meaning to ask."
Conis blinked in confusion before smiling invitingly. "Sure thing, what is it, Vivi?"
The princess glanced at me, and I hesitated for a moment before nodding solemnly. Better now than from the mouths of the well-meaning but excessively lead-handed White Berets.
Having received consent, Vivi gave Conis a serious look. "What are the consequences of entering Skypiea without paying the one billion extol per person toll at Heaven's Gate?"
Conis blinked in surprise before she and Pagaya all but froze up. "A-are you saying that you—?"
"Yes, much to my chagrin, we didn't pay," Vivi sighed despondently. "Our navigator didn't deem it worth the cost."
"It was a total ripoff!" Nami protested, but much more weakly given Conis and Pagaya's fearful reactions.
"W-well, that makes you illegal entrants, m-meaning that the island's law enforcement, the White Berets, will most likely be arriving to arrest you soon," Conis said worriedly. It was apparently only a fraction of what she felt, going by just how white her knuckles were as they bunched up her dress.
"But that's only a minor crime," Pagaya said quickly. "The issue can be resolved if you can pay the fine, I believe it's ten times the entrance fee."
"And if we don't pay that?" Nami asked, her eyes narrowing.
Pagaya swallowed heavily as he averted his gaze ever so slightly. "Then… I hope you'll pardon the suggestion, but it might be best for you to leave as soon as possible."
Conis, meanwhile, averted her gaze much more overtly, refusing to meet any of our eyes as she bit into her lower lip. And she wasn't alone either, as Su had sunk her fangs into the tip of her tail and was glaring daggers at nothing. The silence went on for a minute before Nami broke it.
"Why are you hesitating so much? It's not like we're going to tell anyone anything you tell us that could get you in trouble."
At that point, all three of them winced visibly, Pagaya and Conis in fear and Su in rapidly mounting fury.
"P-pardon our reaction, it's just—!" Pagaya started to hedge before Conis cut in.
"W-we can't say anything," Conis grit out reluctantly, fear coating her voice. "God can hear us everywhere, and if he hears us—!"
"Conis!" Pagaya interrupted, cold sweat coating his brow.
"God?" Zoro asked, raising an eyebrow, but Soundbite cut in before he could say anything else.
"THERE'S ONLY ONE omniscient eavesdropper in the world, AND THAT'S ME!" he spat out viciously before gritting his teeth. "Gastro-SCRAMBLE!"
I tensed as the sound of white noise filled the air, buzzing like a thousand untuned television sets. "Soundbite… what did you just do?"
"I TUNED OUT any unwanted visitors!" Soundbite ground out darkly. "Anyone tries to LISTEN IN, they ain't hearing JACK!"
"Y-you what!?" Conis yelped, her eyes wide with panic. "Nononono, Soundbite, you can't! I-If God Eneru notices—!"
"GOD!?" Usopp and Carue yelped fearfully, visibly freaked out.
"Soundbite, Conis is right, that was not the best decision to make," Robin nodded in concern, having strode over to the window where she was keeping a careful eye on the surroundings. "If this 'God' individual really was listening to us, then the sudden loss of that ability will be as damaging as anything that could be said."
"Yeah, but now the great lightning bastard can't hear us anymore, right?"
"Su!" Conis shrieked in panic.
"No, Conis!" Su snarled, arching her back as her fur fluffed out in outrage. "I've been silent my entire life, I've been docile, but now that I have a chance to speak and he can't hear anything, I'm going to say the exact thing that you and everyone on Angel Beach has been thinking for the past six years: Eneru is an evil, selfish, raging BASTARD!"
The mood in the room instantly flipped from tense to electric… though thankfully only in the metaphorical sense. Despite how much we waited and listened, ultimately nothing came of the statement other than Conis and Pagaya looking like they were about to have heart attacks.
"Well, now that that's settled," Su snorted before leaping onto the table and staring straight at Luffy. "You! I saw the emblem on your flag: a skull and crossbones. And combined with that…" She moved her gaze upwards slightly, glancing at Luffy's hat for a moment before refocusing. "You guys are all pirates, right?"
Luffy blinked in surprise before grinning eagerly. "Yup! And I'm the man who's going to be the King of the Pirates!"
"Su, please—!" Conis started.
"If he could still hear us, we'd already be dead," the fox said dryly without ever shifting her attention from Luffy. "And you. I'm assuming that that claim of yours means that you're all strong pirates, right?"
I weighed the pros and cons of this whole scenario before reaching a decision. That is to say, deciding 'fuck it, let's see where this takes us.' "We've beaten anyone who's crossed us. It wasn't always easy, but there's only one enemy we came across that was actually good enough to beat us, and we beat him too in the end. And he was world-class, to boot."
"World-class?" Luffy asked, frowning. "If Crocodile's as strong as they're going to get—"
"He isn't," I cut him off flatly. "Granted, you probably only beat him because he underestimated you too much as a rookie and his own pride butted in, but you managing to beat him at any level was still damn impressive, so yes," I directed the next bit at Su. "We're very strong."
Su was silent for a moment before nodding firmly. "Then in that case, I have a request to make, and it's a big one."
"Su, p-pardon me, but you can't—!" Pagaya started.
"Watch me," Su shot back before pouncing to a position where she could look at all of us at once. "This is going to sound dangerously insane, but at this point, I don't see any other options." Su spread her legs and bowed her head solemnly. "Please, help overthrow God Eneru and free us from his tyranny!"
The words sunk in for a moment, and then we reacted like mature, reasonable—oh, wait, I already did that joke.
"EEEEEEEEEEHHH?"
"SU!" Conis burst out in horror, jumping to her feet. "Y-you can't just ask anyone who comes to us to die for our sakes!"
"No, that's where you're wrong, Conis!" Su shot back as she leaped forwards and glared up at her owner. "What I can't do is just stay silent and not do anything I can after watching you and your dad suffer for six years! Six years, Conis! Six years where I haven't been able to say anything, where I've been forced to watch as person after person came through this beach and died! Well, now I can finally speak, and I'm going to take this opportunity to do the one thing nobody has dared to do in a long time, despite how much they've wanted to: ask for help!"
Conis was trembling, visibly conflicted. "I… I'm not—"
"Why would you want us to overthrow your god, and what do you mean by tyranny?" Robin asked.
"Yeah, I think we're missing some rather crucial context here!" I concurred. "Look, when you call this Eneru person 'God'—?"
"He's not actually a god!" Su interrupted hotly. "That's just the title the people here call their ruler, but it went straight to Eneru's head when he took over!" She snapped her gaze to Pagaya. "Come on, klutzy, tell them! We'd have fried ten times over if he could actually hear us, so we're in the clear!"
Pagaya visibly hesitated for a moment before sighing and hanging his head in defeat. "Six years ago, God Eneru and the men he calls his priests invaded our land of Skypiea," he recited sadly. "Eneru and his acolytes defeated the army of the old God and banished him before taking his place. Since then… Eneru has ruled over Skypiea with an iron fist."
Conis desperately swapped her gaze between her father and her pet for a moment before the energy seemed to flow out of her, sinking into her seat with her face buried in her hands. "He can always hear us, no matter where we are," she croaked miserably. "He makes us guide all criminals we find to the God's Land, Upper Yard, where they are then hunted and killed for his amusement by his priests. And… should anyone say anything or try to protest in any manner…" Conis choked back a sob. "Then they are… put to death!" And with that, Conis broke down, sobbing miserably in spite of Pagaya doing his best to comfort her.
Su stared at her solemnly for a moment before slowly turning her gaze back to us. "I've had to watch this for six years. Had to watch as this bastard made the closest friend I have in life send people off to die with a smile. And I can't watch it for a second longer. Unless something is done…" Su bowed her head solemnly. "Over twenty years ago, another pirate crew came here, a fantastically strong one, whose leader was righteous. I didn't see him, but my parents and all the other animals who were alive then still speak of him to this day. We animals are the only ones brave enough to say anything because Eneru has never paid direct attention to us, and this is the only chance I'll have to say anything at all. You're… You're our last chance. So please…"
Tears, previously hidden by the pure white fur, dripped to the tabletop.
"Help us…"
Unsurprisingly, the crew as a whole was angry. Usopp and Carue seemed partly panicked as well judging from their shaking legs, but their expressions were too dark to tell. Sanji, in particular, looked ready to explode, but three faces held far darker expressions than his. Nami seemed to be flashing back to her time with Arlong, rage overtaking any possibility of fear; she was already absentmindedly reaching for the pieces of her Clima-Tact. Vivi was similarly furious, no doubt enraged at hearing how a ruler, no matter how despotic, could treat his people so cruelly; one hand gripped into a fist on her thigh and the other wandered to her neck and fumbled with that necklace she'd been wearing since we'd left Alubarna. And Luffy…
"Guys, I've decided," he said, getting to his feet and dropping the bit of meat he'd been holding, his hat casting a shadow over his blazing eyes. "We're going to kick this god-guy's ass."
"Not that I'm objecting, Mister Captain, but what made you decide that? If I recall, despite the tragedies in Alabasta, your only motivation was the princess," Robin said, earning a glare from Vivi that died upon seeing the fire in Robin's eyes. Still, she prepared to say something…
"Because she's our friend."
When I interrupted, not looking up from where I was sitting hunched forwards with my elbows on my knees, and my hands clasped between my legs.
"She greeted us warmly, she invited us into her home, she let us eat her food…" I recited matter-of-factly. "This might not seem like a lot, but Conis is our friend, and personally, if I willingly left a friend in these kinds of conditions without doing something, anything to help?" I shot a firm warning look at Robin. "Then I honestly wouldn't be able to live with myself."
"What Cross said," Luffy growled, breathing out steam from his nostrils.
"Well, looks like the captain has made up his mind," Zoro remarked, grinning menacingly. "So, Conis, how do we get to this 'Upper Yard' place?"
"W-what!?" Conis yelped desperately. "N-no, no! Please, I know what Su said, but—!"
"Conis," Vivi cut in, visibly wrestling with her temper as she landed a hand on the angel's shoulder. "Trust me, trying to fight this is a wholly futile endeavor. We are trying and doing it because we want to. Rather than opposing us, you should be helping us find the best way to reach God."
"Besides," Nami drawled, spinning one of her staff's segments between her fingers absentmindedly. "This isn't the first experience we've had like this; whenever Luffy sets his mind to something, no amount of reasoning can make him abandon that course of action. The difference this time, however—" She suddenly clenched the bar of metal in a vein-popping death grip. "Is that we're all in agreement." She then looked at Conis, her eyes softening significantly. "So, please. How do we do this?"
Conis chewed her lip hesitantly as she weighed our words, looking down at where Su had laid her paw on her knee.
"Tell them, Conis," Su whispered. "Please."
Conis hiccuped as she looked at Su, before finally sighing and digging through her shirt and withdrawing a shell-shaped whistle. "…There are three ways to get there, and considering that you're wanted criminals already, two of them are immediately accessible, and both guarantee that Eneru won't strike you down. Immediately, at any rate…"
"Heso!"
We jumped as a chorus of voices came from outside.
"The hell—?" Nami started as she glanced towards the door.
"Oh, damn it…" I ground out as I clawed at my face. Now? Really? I mean, I knew they meant well, but their timing could not have been worse.
…buuuut, then again, we did need to commit a higher crime to really sell this whole thing, so…
"We've received word that no fewer than nine illegal entrants from the Blue Sea have—"
"Gastro-Phony," I bit out. I waited for a moment as the voice outside fell silent before looking around with a slightly desperate expression. "Alright, let's make this fast, before they clean themselves up and return with reinforcements."
"C-clean—? What did you—?"
"Let's just say you're going to need to wipe your front… everywhere, and leave it at that, please."
-o-
I breathed out a heavy breath as I leaned on the balcony of the house, gazing out at the Merry floating off of the coast of the beach. "Alright, we're ready on our end, as far as we can be. You guys?"
"Unhappy about having to have to ride the all-too-literal express route twice in the same day, but other than that?" I could just about see Nami nod on the deck of our ship. "We're ready. Good luck, Cross."
"You too, guys," I muttered before jerking my hand across my neck. I then glanced over at Conis and gave her a nod. "Do it."
Conis nodded hesitantly. "A-alright then…" And with that, she brought the whistle to her mouth and blew.
Moments later, the sea-clouds of the White-White Sea started shifting, then bubbling, then outright churning until finally—
SPLOOSH!
—they erupted, disgorging a stupidly massive shrimp that snatched up the Going Merry and all the occupants onboard before turning around and tearing through the water. Not blindingly fast, mind you; fast, sure, but only just so fast that it was uncatchable. There was plenty of time to watch it leave, to confirm that one's friends weren't just gone, but taken too.
I watched after the Merry for as long as I could before turning around and clasping my hands together. "Alright, they're gone. Now it's our turn." I grinned savagely. "Who's ready to defile some sacred soil?"
Luffy grinned as he slammed his knuckles together. "Alright!"
Sanji scoffed as he lit his cigarette and blew out a heavy cloud of smoke. "Sacred or damned, I would storm any soil for the sake of my angels, new and constant alike."
"Maybe we'll see if I got anything out of that death-duel Zoro considered a spar," Leo muttered, Donny putting a sympathizing flipper on his shoulder.
"Eh, just wake me up when it's time to fight," Lassoo yawned as he cracked his neck back and forth.
"Truly a slothful one, isn't he?" Isaiah noted.
"No kidding—wait, what are you doing here?" Sanji asked the bird currently perched on his shoulder.
"Terry and I were barely within the snail's range already, and while he was more inclined to stay onboard the ship with Zoro, considering himself, and I quote, 'powerful enough to go without speaking until the others get back,' I'd prefer to keep my voice… and, for that matter, spend some time away from that Bear-Glove neanderthal."
Sanji considered that for a moment before nodding in agreement. "Fair enough. Well, let's get going. Soundbite, cut it."
Once Soundbite cut the Gastro-Scramble—great name, by the way, I should have thought of it myself—Conis and Pagaya put on a show of explaining how dangerous it was to have attacked the White Berets, and saying our crew had been taken to Upper Yard to be offered as tribute. Of course, Robin and I had organized beforehand who would go which direction, and I trusted her to leave enough fighters onboard to deal with Shura when he showed up. I had picked up my armor and stashed the Impact and Flash Dials in my pockets before they left, but I'd reluctantly left the transceiver onboard; disappointing though it was, the next SBS could wait until after the first day of battles, right about when we started the party with the cloud wolves. As it was, best not to have a big-ass bag hanging off of me when I had other options, especially when said bag had all of those notes in it; if that fell into the hands of anyone loyal to Eneru, we'd be screwed. Pagaya and Su came with us as Conis escorted us through the island, past Lovely Street, and to the Little Crow. Luffy's reaction was predictable… and I'll be honest, I was inclined to agree with him.
"You really sure we can't ride the big badass bull?" I griped miserably.
"Pardon us, but we simply don't have the extols to rent it for you," Pagaya shrugged before pausing thoughtfully. "Well, maybe if you had another jar of vearth…?"
I froze as I contemplated the consequences of that course of action. "Yeah, no, I'd really rather not push my luck with Nami; I fear the wrath she can bring about over those trees more than I fear anyone or thing on these seas."
"That bad, huh?" Su noted from where she was clinging to Conis' back where her harp usually was.
"I HAVE HAD one leaf off of those trees THE ENTIRE TIME I've been on that ship…" Soundbite stated morosely before shuddering heavily. "NEVER AGAIN!"
"Well, you should all be able to fit on the Crow, at least, and the engine works perfectly; Father repaired it only a few days ago," Conis said, smiling lightly.
We all returned that smile as we mounted the Crow, getting a quick crash course in how to run the dial-engine before we were finally ready to go.
"Well, we're setting off," I announced. "Try and fix up our Waver while we're gone, would you? We'll definitely be back for it."
"A-absolutely," Pagaya said, not needing to fake the uncertainty in his voice.
"Don't worry about us, old guy, we'll be fine!" Luffy said cheerily.
"I don't intend to keep our three beautiful ladies waiting for too long," Sanji agreed smoothly.
"Doesn't he mean four?" Donny whispered.
"You know Raphey doesn't call herself a lady," Leo whispered back. "Plus, not humanoid, probably a gray area."
CLONK-CLONK!
"SILENCE FROM THE EMERGENCY FOOD SUPPLIES!" Sanji roared.
"Yes, sir…" the dugongs groaned as they cradled their bruised skulls.
Conis was silent throughout the farewells, maintaining the same solemn silence she'd been keeping since our venture had started…
Before finally, she let herself smile, ever so slightly.
"Good luck," she whispered, almost too faintly for us to hear.
It was at that point that the world grew dark and the sky lit up.
There was no warning, no sign, not even so much as an inkling. Just a lot of light and the reek of ozone.
Time seemed to slow as I turned my gaze upwards, taking in the… well… the act of fucking God taking place above me. "No..." I breathed numbly.
After that, several things happened at once: a roar of rage, a blast of steam, a blur of red, and a mass slamming into my midsection and bowling me over.
I had just enough time to process the fact that a dazed Conis and Su were lying on top of me and catch sight of a lobster-red Luffy grabbing a yet-shellshocked Pagaya—
ZEE-RACK!
Before the sky ripped itself apart.
Here's a tip: it's not a good idea to be directly next to a bolt of lightning when it hits the ground. Even less so when said bolt of lightning is about the size of an F5 vortex, and even less yet when you happen to be in a boat, on the water, which isn't anchored.
This is the situation that I found myself in when the 'almighty' Eneru decided to smite Conis for her minute show of infidelity. The fact that she and Su were safe beside me was some consolation, but I was hoping beyond all hope that the previous God had chosen to intervene on our behalf in this case, or else. Because as it was, Conis had fallen on her hands and knees and was staring at the crater where her father had been with a rapidly paling face.
Or at least, that's what I think she was doing. I couldn't be sure, because unlike my superhuman-by-default crewmates who had been born in this world, I was experiencing the logical outcome of seeing that much lightning and hearing the resulting thunder at point-blank distance: becoming temporarily (I hoped) blind, deaf and, apart from the occasional 'mawp', very dumb.
Thankfully, my time here had done the trick because I did get my senses back rather fast.
Un-fortunately, I got them back just in time to have a faceful of flung-Luffy bowl me over once anew.
"Do not fear! I, the sky knight Gan Fall, have saved them!" Gan Fall (duh) called out confidently as he helped Pagaya onto a seat behind him on Pierre before directing his mount to flap closer to us. "Quickly now, help the girl on before—!"
ZAP!
"GAH!" Pierre squawked in terror, barely managing to avoid a relatively normalish bolt of lightning that almost hit him.
I cursed vehemently as I glanced up at the sky before shaking my head at Gan Fall. "No good! She's already onboard, Eneru's not going to let her go! Look, just," I waved my hand frantically. "Get out of here, take Pagaya and go! We'll look after her, she'll be safe with us, I promise!"
Gan Fall hesitated for a moment before nodding in agreement. "Very well, then! May luck be with you, good travelers! You shall need it!"
"Conis…" Pagaya said worriedly.
"Don't worry, klutzy!" Su piped up. "These guys are strong enough to keep us safe. Besides, I'd sort of like a piece of the action."
"BE CAREFUL YOU don't bite off MORE THAN YOU CAN CHEW, foxy!" Soundbite taunted eagerly.
"Why dontcha get in my mouth and see just how much I can chew, slimeball?" Su retorted playfully.
"Su…" Conis muttered before shaking her head and looking back at her father. "But she's right! I'll be safe with them, Father, and you know that I can take care of myself."
Pagaya hesitated for a moment before nodding reluctantly, and with that, Pierre flew off towards Gan Fall's sanctuary.
We stared after them for a moment before I snapped my fingers at Donny and Leo, prompting them to get the Dial-engine running and us sailing towards the largest of the Milky Roads. It was only as we started to climb the hill that I turned towards Luffy, finally processing how he'd saved Conis. "You've worked out Gear Second already…" I breathed in awe.
Luffy grumbled as he dusted his hat off and inspected it for damage before placing it on his head. "Well… sorta. It's not done yet. I can't keep my blood going for that long and, well… it still feels incomplete. So, for now… Gear One and a Half."
"Gear One Point Five sounds better," Lassoo suggested.
"Or that."
"Still, I didn't expect you to work that out for at least another month," I said weakly, before thinking about it more. "So, that's what you were doing back on Jaya… well, once we get back together with the rest of the crew, talk to Chopper about it; great technique though it is, it's still straining your body. Better to work out the kinks before we fight someone who's actually dangerous to you."
Judging from the way Sanji's eyes widened, he figured out the hidden meaning in my words, and he promptly did the one best thing he could have in this situation: he grinned, spun onto his knees before Conis, and took her hand. "Conis, O most beautiful of Angels in the heavens, I vow that I shall most definitely keep you safe," he asserted.
"…Thank you, for saving me… but…" Conis managed to smile before turning her attention towards the approaching crest of the hill. "I hope you're right about how strong you all are, for all of our sakes. Because now…"
I followed her gaze as we mounted the top of the road, and caught sight of what lay before us: a green hell embedded in a sea of white. Trees more massive than any I'd ever seen before, hiding enough death and destruction in their shadows to match Little Garden with ease, while also cradling the hopes and dreams of two entire civilizations.
"…the trials of Upper Yard await."
