Chapter 30

Cross-Brain AN: The hiatus is ended, loyal fans, and for those of you for whom the 1000th Review Special wasn't enough, we hope that this chapter, though not as long as the previous one, is adequate.

My return to consciousness was two things above all else: slow, and painful.

It… wasn't exactly immediate, mind you. Burning pain just started to radiate all over and through my body, something like a sunburn but so much worse. I tried to shift my limbs in an effort to gain some form of relief, but instead made the rather distressing discovery that I couldn't actually move them because of how they felt like they were stuffed with pins and needles. Ugh, I knew I should have asked Usopp to insulate my armor before we got here; there was no way I wasn't going to wear it in a danger zone like this, but metal and lightning? In retrospect, it was a painfully obvious conclusion.

I coughed up half a lungful of smoke (that could not be healthy… and shouldn't I have already been smoked out awhile ago?) and slowly pushed myself up on my elbows. It took a second for me to blink away the spots in my eyes to see Conis kneeling over me, filling my field of vision.

Finally, my neurons fired and I chuckled wryly, trying to diffuse her concern. "Damn, I missed everything, didn't I?" I wheezed out. "Shame… I really wanted to see the look on Eneru's face when Luffy slugged him."

As my vision slowly stopped spinning, I was able to make out Conis' already concerned expression becoming panicked. "C-Cross, what are you—?"

KRRRZZZT!

That was as far as she got before a flash of light charred my retinas, blasting Conis off of me. I jerked my head to the side and tried to follow her, watching in confusion as she rolled to a halt a few feet away from me, smoking like a fried steak and gasping in obvious agony. I tried to move towards her, to do… something, when something stopped me.

Namely, a very hot and very hard force pressing against my heart almost hard enough to risk burning through my shirt. And then… that voice again.

"Fool."

My blood ran cold as I tilted my head upwards and processed the sight in front of me. Cloth cap covering up pale blonde hair, ridiculously long earlobes with gold earrings on the end, and a face that wore a smug smirk.

I tried to make sense of what the hell was going on, I really did, but my head felt like a beehive in a rainstorm, so I was in no condition to think hard on anything. All I could get out was a weak "W-what? B-but how—? The sh-shock…"

"The voltage from that attack was negligible; you blacked out for only a meager second," Eneru drawled. "It would be counterproductive if you were to pass out until the Survival Game is over."

I wasn't sure I wanted to know what he meant by that. But I did want to know something.

"H-huff!" I coughed up another lungful of what I could only assume was freshly carbonized flesh. "How did you even find us? Soundbite's Gastro-Scramble was spread out—"

"Yaaa ha ha ha ha!" the self-proclaimed god laughed. "Are you referring to that meager buzzing noise that's been pestering my ears? An annoyance, true, but hardly a hindrance against God."

My blood ran cold again as I grimaced in realization. He'd heard everything, because I was an idiot. Such a stupid, stupid, stupid idiot. A Paramecia-ability, up against not just a Logia's unique abilities, but against Logia-enhanced Haki. How could I ever think to pit any but the absolute strongest of Devil Fruit abilities against a super-charged form of Haki and hope to come out on top?

But… one thing just didn't make sense. "…If you heard everything…" I gasped. "Then why did you even l-let us get this far? Why didn't you k-kill us all back on Angel Island when we started planning this? When we called you a—GRGH!" I choked off with a gasp of pain when the temperature of the staff pressed to my chest spiked.

Eneru shrugged nonchalantly, as though he were unaware of the pain he was causing me. "Boredom, I suppose; with the novel development of thinking that you could circumvent my abilities, I was interested to see how it would play out. And it did prove to be very entertaining, despite the fact that I nearly lost all of my priests; your pet's commentary proved to be very good for a laugh, particularly that ghost story last night. I don't think I've laughed that hard for the last, oh… month or so? The last time was when a particularly fat crew of Blue Sea dwellers came by. Ah, seeing them all waddle to their deaths, now that was fun…"

I really had to fight to keep my gag reflex in check. The only thing worse than metal armor would be being wet in any given capacity while wearing said armor… and covered in bile, at that.

His smirk dropped somewhat as he locked eyes with me. "But we're getting sidetracked here; I'm here because you've severely underestimated me, in every sense of the word. Since I've gone to the trouble of coming in person to show you my power, I think you owe me an apology." He withdrew the bo staff from my chest as his smirk returned, stronger than ever. "I'll forgive you for your blasphemy if you beg for your life, as is only natural."

I processed what he said, and slowly tilted my torso as far up as I could. I opened my mouth—

"That won't do you any good, girl."

And said nothing, instead glancing around to see Vivi kneeling next to a thoroughly fried Carue, staring at Eneru with a ferocious glare, one hand holding her companion's insensate head to her chest while her other… grasped that necklace of hers again? The hell…?

"The results would be quite interesting, I'll admit," Eneru mused. "But it would still make killing you a thoroughly annoying endeavor. If you will not listen to me…" The bastard jabbed his staff to my throat, causing me to choke painfully. "Then perhaps you will take into account the fact that your precious friends will undoubtedly perish in the crossfire, however brief?"

Vivi's expression absolutely flared with rage, but nevertheless she wrenched her hand open and brought it to Carue's beak. Rivulets of blood trailed down from her mouth, where she was digging her teeth into her lips in an effort to force herself to stay silent. I made a mental note to ask what the hell that stuff with the necklace was about if we lived through this.

"Now, where were we? Ah, yes: the sinner was about to repent."

…But I got the distinct feeling that that the chances of that ever happening were rapidly shrinking from slim to none.

"Me, repent? For what?" I spat with as much acid as I could muster. "For believing that you're just an overconfident and delusional Logia and an amateur Haki user? You're powerful, I'm not denying that…" I winced as a shudder of agony ran through me. "But a god?" I wheezed out a shaky chuckle, my lips turning up ever so slightly. "Don't make me laugh."

Eneru's expression fell flat, and I braced myself as he raised his finger to point at me…

ZAP!

"EEAAARGH!"/"YIPE!"

Only for him to defy my expectations when he suddenly swung his index and middle fingers to the side and send off two streams of electricity out of my field of vision. I didn't see what he hit, but the stench of singed fur and the agonized screams were enough for me to draw a conclusion. That, and Conis' anguished cry alongside the lingering canine whimper in the air.

Eneru sniffed haughtily. "So many pests in my land. How is a God to focus properly? Now, where was I? Ah, yes."

ZAP!

For a second, there wasn't any pain, any agony, any… Any anything, really. Then my awareness hit me over the skull like a hammer and it felt as though agony were injected into my very core. I could hear my teeth creak as I locked my jaws in order to bite back a scream, but it did nothing to stop the agonized groan that crawled out of my throat.

"That was two million volts. Defy me again, and I'll move to five. Would you care to revise your opinion?"

I was only partially aware of the fact that my mouth was moving. "I'd like… to make a formal request… for you to kiss my—!"

ZAP!

"Grrgrggghh…" I gargled out. Now that one I was most definitely awake for, and holy shit had I just found an all new meaning for the phrase 'feeling the burn'… though the fact that I couldn't actually feel it in my limbs was… worrying, to say the absolute least.

Eneru cocked an eyebrow at me before shaking his head with a haughty sigh. "How annoying. Even face-to-face with a god, you still deny his power? Foolish boy," he drawled.

"First of all… I'm nineteen fucking years old," I forced out through gritted teeth, feeling my gut start to flare up as I got some steam back. "And second of all… I've… I've experienced what a god is… or rather… I've experienced a higher being. But I refuse… to acknowledge either you, or it, as a capital-g god."

"Oh?" Eneru tilted his head inquisitively… or perhaps just so that he could humor me. "And why, pray tell, is that?"

"Because that kind of god doesn't exist," I spat heatedly. "And this world and every other world like it out there in existence is my proof. Because this world… is imperfect. If there is a God out there… then I refuse to worship it because of these imperfections. Because if it allows these imperfections to exist, then it is either cruel, or not as truly omnipotent as—!"

ZZZZZZZT!

This time my muscles spasmed instead of locking up, leaving me writhing on the ground like a fish out of water. I didn't notice; I was more focused on the feeling of every inch of my body being stabbed repeatedly by a red-hot poker.

"I believe I've found the flaw in your argument," Eneru smirked viciously. "You claim that I am not omnipotent? Well, I beg to differ on that point. Observe!" He wheeled around on his heel and jabbed his hand at the treeline, streams of lightning crackling over his body and ozone assaulting my nostrils again. On the plus side, it drowned out the smell of cooked pork that I'd been worrying about before. "A generous demonstration of my awesome might! EL THOR!"

There are no words or onomatopoeia to describe the skull-shakingly loud thunderclap that came from Eneru's attack. Yet my alienistic status in this world seemed to be fading rapidly, considering that my eyes and ears could apparently take in every bit of both that and the tremendous pillar of lightning, at least as big as the one that had targeted Conis back on Angel Island, that vaporized one of the massive trees nearby. And as the lightning faded, leaving only a smoking crater in the island, Eneru spoke again.

"Behold my power. Will you still deny me?" he said smugly. I spared the hole a look before looking back at Eneru, who was watching me with renewed smugness. And seeing that served to banish all traces of fear from my mind.

"Like I said, I can't deny that you're powerful…" I hissed before shaking my head in denial. "But all-powerful? Not even close. Now, let me share something with you: the power that you can find on the Blue Seas."

I was vaguely aware that I was raising an arm and pointing at the hole. "That hole that you just punched in the ground? I can name at least five people off the top of my head who could do that in their sleep. I can name three who could match them blow for blow without any powers of their own. And another who can take anything those guys dish out and come back for more. And that's just the top tiers."

I glared with all the defiance I could muster. "You may be powerful, but you're only anything special up here, in your little cloudy world that's just a puddle compared to the real world down below us. When I compare you to the strongest warriors in the sea—pirate, Marine, or World Government—you're not a god. You're not powerful, you're not impressive, you're not even special. All you are is pathetic. And if you tried going up against the monsters down there, you'd get your sorry gold-plated ass handed to you in ten. Seconds. FLAT. Just like every other hot-headed Logia."

Now Eneru was starting to lose his composure, a fact visible on account of how the ozone smell was ramping up again, and how trails of electricity were starting to jump through the air at random.

That, and the fact that he had his teeth grit in a clear and visible scowl.

ZAP!

Aaaaaand that. It was a bad thing when the smell of toast overpowered all else, right?

The downright painful pins and needles I was feeling were aggravated when Eneru grabbed me by my collar and jerked me up so that we were face to face.

"There is never, has never, and will never be anybody like me, you insignificant worm," he hissed.

I blinked slowly as I processed that statement, ran it through my head over and over again. Once I comprehended it, however… well, there was only one way for me to react.

"Pff…"

In the face of such a ludicrous statement…

"Pffhahahahahaaaa…" I chuckled out weakly, wincing at the jolt of pain that shot through me.

…how could I not laugh?

ZRT!

Said laughter was then cut off by a current all but slapping my body.

"What's so funny?" Eneru outright snarled this time.

I gasped and wheezed as I got my breath back before finally managing to plaster a sickly grin on my face. "You think… that you're so special… That you're unique… well, that idea is just so hilarious… especially because you actually think it's true…"

My grin widened a bit, hopefully to the point where it was niiiice and demented.

"Allow me… to enlighten you."

-o-

"Do you think you're the only one… who lords his powers over others? Who reigns with an iron fist… and who strikes down all who speak against him?"

High up in Marineford, a giant of a man glared viciously at the terrified Transponder Snail before him, uncaring of the fact that the chair he was sitting in was slowly starting to smoke, or that the temperature in the room was ratcheting up a dozen degrees at a time.

The temperature alleviated slightly when an audible ZAP! and a pained cry came over the connection, before resuming just as badly when Cross continued anyway.

"N-no… there are hundreds who do that, every. Single. Day. And they do it better than you… or worse, as it were…"

While the weak grin the Snail was sporting never left its face, it was unable to keep from voiding its bowels as Admiral Akainu's seat burst aflame, and the desk it was perched upon slowly started sinking into the floor.

-o-

"Do you think that you're the only one… who takes pleasure in the suffering of others? Who throws their head back and laughs at the agonized screams they cause… as if it were all some great joke?"

Doflamingo's already wide smile widened even further as Cross got zapped for the world to hear, and it widened even more than that when he just kept. On. Talking.

"Like… hell… There are thousands… who torture and cause harm… and who enjoy it… and most… don't even know that they like it…

-o-

"Do you think… that you're the only one… who thinks they're invincible? Who thinks so highly of themselves… that they think they're unbeatable… untouchable… so far above everyone else that they're just ants?"

Crocodile grinned a bitter grin as he leaned against his cell wall, savoring how the loud-mouthed bastard's screams of agony mingled with the chorus of the damned that had started rising up throughout the prison whenever his broadcast started.

"That's… hilarious… but no. There are… more people like that… in the world… than I can count… There are so many… just so many…"

At that moment, all Crocodile truly wanted for was a lit cigar. If he'd had one, then the moment would have been absolutely perfect.

-o-

"Men like you… you always think you're one-of-a-kind…" I grit out before shaking my head. "But that's not true. You're one-of-a-million. Perfectly uniform… So many of you that you're choking the world, one evil act at a time…" I smiled grimly. "If you want unique… then you need to look at the other end of the spectrum."

ZOT!

"Grgh!" I flinched miserably before scowling at the bastard. "You need to get a new schtick, jackass, because that's starting to just tickle."

"And who would you claim to be unique, hm?" Eneru sneered contemptuously, all smugness completely gone by now. Apparently I'd gone from being a worm to little more than primordial ooze. "You?"

"PFHA!" I barked out weakly. "As if! No, no, I'm worse than unique… I'm normal. I'm no more unique than you. How's that for a kick—!"

THWACK!

"AGH!" I wheezed as I rolled along the ground. Alright, punting me just as I was saying that… I guess that maybe the staticky bastard wasn't as stupid as I thought.

Once I got my breath back in my lungs, though, I kept going.

"I'm as normal as it comes…" I said, not caring how weak my voice was. "Inside and out, just your everyday guy. People like me… people who can't stand bullies… people who won't let anyone push them around no matter what…" I took a second to gather my breath before pushing myself up even a little so that I could glare at the bastard. "People… who won't let bastards like you get away with shit like this… who won't hold their tongues, over shit like this… even if it means they get the crap kicked out of them… even if it could kill them…" I shook my head. "There's less of us than you, sure… but I'm not unique. I'm the norm."

"Then who?" Eneru growled. "If not you or I, then who do you deem to be unique?"

I smiled through the pain. "There's a little-known saying on the Blue Seas, passed down from generation to generation for centuries: 'D. will bring forth a storm.' The D.s bring change, they bring upheaval and renewal… and above all, they are the enemy of the gods, whether they know it or not. And of the D.s alive in this current generation?" I chuckled weakly. "I'd have to say that Monkey D. Luffy is the best example there is."

Eneru scoffed incredulously, angling himself away from me. "The ignoramus you so foolishly follow? I will grant you that he is unique in one sense, and that his strength is above norm, but that is all."

I bit out a sharp tsk as I glared daggers at the bastard. "Strong enough to kick your ass…"

THWACK!

"HURF!" I doubled over as Eneru punted my stomach. It was a good thing the organ was bone dry, or else I'd have heaved up a goodly amount of bile then and there. I managed to choke out another chuckle.

"Heh… keep on hitting me if you want, but there are two things that are going to happen no matter what you do: you're going to fight my captain. And you're going to lose."

Eneru's already dark expression became steadily worse as he lashed out with his staff, sending me tumbling across the ground again. And as he approached me, his expression was as darkened as a midsummer Midwest thunderstorm. "Beaten, shocked, and faced directly with my power, and still you defy me. I must admit that you've earned a bit of my respect, if only for your stubbornness; nobody before you has ever shown such nerve. For that, I grant you one final chance. Repent now… or perish."

I gathered up every lingering ounce of strength that I had left to stand, and I actually did thank Zoro mentally as I stumbled over to Eneru. And when I stood directly in front of him, I forced every bit of saliva I had left into my dried mouth… and spat in his face.

Naturally, it passed right through him.

"I see," Eneru said placidly. "Then you will not repent?"

"Burn in hell," was my reply.

"Very well, then."

His palm lashed out, shoving me back to the ground, and this time, I didn't have the strength to get back up.

"Die."

He held his hand above my eyes, lightning slowly gathering in his palm.

"One million. Five million. Ten million. Twenty million. Fifty million. One Hundred Million."

I wish I could say I faced him head-on, with courage and pride. I wish I could say I wasn't scared, that my brashness held out all the way through. I wish I could say that I smiled… but once again, I just wasn't a D. I didn't have it in me. The best I could manage was a grimace. And even as he said it, I clenched my eyes shut and looked away.

"One Hundred Million Volt VARI."

-o-

It would be wrong to say that silence reigned in the storeroom of the Marine battleship. After all, that would require everyone present to say nothing. As it stood, Ensign Tashigi was not silent, consistently and fervently muttering denials from beneath the hands she'd clasped over her mouth.

The two other humans and the human who was present by proxy, however, were as silent as the grave as they listened to the dead air that had followed the final zap. After a minute, Eneru's voice filtered through again.

"Inconceivable…" the megalomaniac's voice filtered through in a low growl. "How could you possibly have survived that?!"

"Oh-thank-God!" Tashigi whooshed out in relief, a sentiment everyone else present, even Captain T-Bone, shared as they relaxed.

"One hundred million volts on top of all of those other injuries, and he survived?" T-Bone breathed in equal parts shock and horror.

"…Ah, so that's it," Eneru chuckled grimly, as if in response. "How valiant of you, young lady."

A thick THWACK came over the connection, followed by a grunt of feminine pain.

"You managed to grab him and siphon off part of the voltage. Any other day, I might have been impressed…" A slight crackling noise filled the air. "But today, I find my patience for disrespect to be at an end. I've endured your sacrilege up until now, but now I think it high time you were punished. As your God, I sentence you to—!"

"ENOUGH!"

All present in the room suddenly found themselves on edge, particularly Smoker and Tashigi, as another feminine voice came through, accompanied by the sound of whirling metal.

"LEAVE. US. ALONE," Princess Nefertari Vivi's voice snarled.

There was a tense silence, aside from the crackling and whirling. Then, the crackling died down.

"…Tsk. It would appear that the Survival Game requires some more… balancing. You may consider yourself fortunate, but really, I fail to see the point in such folly. After all, soon this land will cease to be. Why should God sully the soles of his shoes with the innards of some insignificant insects? Enjoy what little time you have left."

A zapping sound, followed by the whirling metal abruptly ceasing, some scrambling as someone ran through grass, and finally… Vivi screaming. "SOUNDBITE! CALL CHOPPER! CALL-CALL LUFFY, CALL ZORO, CALL NAMI, CALL SOMEONE!"

"I-Is he—?" Conis asked weakly.

"HE-HE'S alive," Soundbite offered hesitantly, apparently still scared to talk. "BUT HIS HEARTBEAT is way out of whack. Chopper's at the BASE OF GIANT JACK. LET'S GET GOING!"

"Right. Alright, here, give me—what the—!?"

There was some more rustling, followed by some pained wheezing.

"Giff him ta' me… Aw'll cawwy him…"

"Carue! You're—!"

"Deepfwied but awive. Now, huwwy up! I can cawwy him and the othahs bettah than any of you, and we don't haf time ta awgue!"

"Carue… alright, fine. Help me get Lassoo and Su on him, now! We have to hurry!"

"Damn impressive for a duck…" Smoker whistled in awe.

"Impressive for any living being, period," Hina agreed.

Apart from rushed footsteps and rushed revival attempts on Soundbite's broadcast, there was silence on both ends for the next few minutes, until the zombie-like Marine captain let out a miserable sigh, and sunk to his knees. Smoker, Tashigi, and Hina's snail all looked at him, to see tears dripping down his face.

"I claim… to stand by straightness, hating crookedness, and yet, a pirate has shown more strength than I," he lamented solemnly. "Rather than conform for survival… he would remain true to his beliefs, even as he stared death in the face…" The captain shook his head miserably. "Oh, my brothers… how I have shamed you…"

After a minute more, he slowly looked back up at the other three. "…Tell me. Why did you call me here?"

Tashigi glanced at Smoker, and at his nod, she replied. "The Straw Hat Pirates broke our faith in the Marines through the events in Alabasta," she stated sadly. "We've seen the corruption in the Navy, how they've mutilated Justice into something unspeakable. The three of us and our soldiers have formed an organization tentatively named MI3, for Marine Integrity, with we three as the leaders. Our goal is to restore the Navy to what it once… or at least, what we once thought it once was, by destroying the World Government from the ground up."

"We called you here, Captain T-Bone," Smoker continued, walking over to the Captain. "Because we three and our informant, Jeremiah Cross himself, believe you to be a decent Marine. We want your help in our goals. We want you to join us as a leader."

Commodore Smoker extended his hand again, and T-Bone slowly rose to his feet, regarding the three of them. Then, with a look of firm determination on his face, he grasped Smoker's hand with his own. "Then let your soldiers be made aware that the organization shall now be known as MI4."

Relief swept through the rest of the separatists, up until T-Bone held up his hand to waylay any words.

"However," he stated firmly. "I have a condition, singular. One which is non-negotiable."

Tashigi swallowed heavily, while Smoker exchanged glances with Hina's snail. "And that condition would be?" he asked gruffly.

The present occupants of the room tensed fearfully as T-Bone drew his blade from his side, though thankfully all he did was gaze at its flat. "This blade was passed down through the 13th Royal Marine Flotilla for generations, from Rear Admiral to Rear Admiral. It was a symbol of our pride and our upright belief in the law… and now that I am the sole survivor of our honorable Flotilla, it falls to me."

The captain's grip on the blade tightened as rage flared across his face. "Twelve years ago, when we planned to make our stand, word of our defiance did not reach Sakazuki's ears by chance. We were betrayed by one of our own, one who used the burning corpses of our brothers—my brothers!—as a stepladder, solely so that he might rise higher in the ranks of a vile and corrupt system!"

T-Bone swung the blade out in a swift jab. "Sakazuki will have his day in court, this I know to be all but guaranteed, but when the time comes, I ask that it be I who deals with the vile blaggard who murdered my brothers. By this blade shall his head be removed, and the brave souls of the 13th finally laid to rest!"

"…Hina agrees," came the snail's voice after a moment of contemplation, and Smoker and Tashigi nodded their consent.

"Very well, then," T-Bone nodded solemnly. He then swung his blade around, so that the tip was pointed at the floorboards before ramming it in, and kneeling before the weapon. "Then today, I finally make the vow I have kept silent for all these years. I state a fact and make a promise long overdue. Today, I swear, on my honor, by this blade and by the blood of my brothers, I will see Vice-Admiral Vergo brought to justice for his crimes!"

Silence greeted the proclamation, prompting T-Bone to glance nervously at the other Marines. "…Is something the matter?"

"…yeah," Smoker finally breathed, slowly turning his head to stare at the thoroughly shell-shocked snail behind. "The importance of Cross's survival has just increased dramatically."

-o-

"Well, it looks like my vitamins are as successful as I expected. Before he came here, a single jolt like that would have killed him. Now he's potentially going to recover from taking a hundred million volts to his body, even if it was split in some manner," Kureha reflected in a would-be nonchalant tone, were it not for the fact that she was spinning a syringe between her fingers in a way that anyone who knew her would know indicated worry. "It looks like Chopper's going to be put to a real test now."

One might have thought Kureha was talking to herself, and she may as well have been, given the fact that the only other being in the room was her new assistant, a human-sized and muscular looking bipedal rabbit with an impressive scar over one eye, who waited in a corner of the room with an impassive look on its face. A younger lapahn was perched on the adult's shoulder, looking with curiosity at the interaction between their boss and the snail.

"Oh, thank goodness, we're finally here. CHOPPER!"

"Yes, did someone request me? Oh, my, you seem to have gathered some nasty injuries!"

Kureha's eyebrows rose; that sounded like Chopper, but… there was something off about him. It took a moment for her to realize how, but when she did, her eyes widened; he sounded just like her. How did THAT happen?!

If Soundbite's frustrated "Oh, no…" was anything to go by, they were unsurprised but displeased.

"Let's see, what do we have here? Excessive second degree burns on Conis, along with several third-degree burns. Carue seems to have second degree burns on most of his body if the fact that he smells so delicious is anything to go by…"

"WHAT!?"

"Ergh, we don't have—! Ugh, and hitting him is too risky right now, he's holding too much of that Cherry Blossom Blast."

"Ooh, now that I look at it, you two seem well-cooked, too. Soundbite, can you connect to Sanji and ask him if he has any good recipes for fox, duck, and dog? It would give me a good excuse to examine the differences between normal members of their species. Oh, the possibilities of SCIENCE!"

"KEEP HIM AWAY FROM ME!" the cloud fox yelped, while Lassoo settled for whimpering nervously.

"What in the blue hell have they done to my son?" Kureha wondered aloud, gaping at the snail in front of her. She couldn't even bring herself to feel angry through the sheer shock of what she was hearing… maybe she had rubbed off on him more than she thought…

"Ah, but investigating the differences would be most interesting with C… C-c-c… CrooosssrrgghHHHG-GRGHAH!"

There was a sound of vials dropping onto a soft surface, followed by the unmistakable sound of keratin hammering against flesh and fur. Silence for a few seconds…

"CROSS! HURRY, SOMEBODY GET A—!"

"NOT THE TIME!" Soundbite roared.

"R-RIGHT! CONIS, CARUE, LAY HIM DOWN FLAT! VIVI, LET ME BORROW THE LION CUTTERS, I NEED TO GET HIS ARMOR OFF!"

There was a wet and vaguely familiar gurgle from over the line. It was something Kureha had heard only once before, from a man who'd been terribly burned by fire.

"His lungs…" she breathed.

"DAMMIT! FORGET THE CUTTERS, GO AND GET MY BAG! I NEED TO STABILIZE HIS INTERNAL ORGANS BEFORE THEY ALL FAIL ON ME!" There was the brief sound of a scramble as someone ran somewhere and tossed something at Chopper, followed by the rustle of what she assumed was medical equipment.

"Spinal column, heart, lungs…" Kureha recited to herself.

"The skull should have insulated his brain; the primaries should be the spinal column, heart, and lungs…" Chopper mused to himself.

Kureha was just starting to smirk and nod to herself when her old student spoke again.

"Was he burned anywhere specific or was it layered all over?"

"Uh…" Conis took a second to think before answering. "E-Eneru primarily focused on his torso. The worst of it hit his stomach, I think?"

"Then I'll need to check his stomach, intestines, kidneys… ergh, I'll have to check all of the abdominopelvic cavity just to be sure…"

Kureha blinked in shock before slapping her hand to her face. "Prioritize the area of impact, of course. How could I have missed that?"

Her new assistant grunted and shrugged slightly, though to her ear she could discern some measure of sympathy in his voice.

Meanwhile, the Snail she was listening to muttered and fussed endlessly for a moment before freezing with a stricken and then determined expression. "…alright. Alright, listen: the damage to Cross is too extensive for me to handle right now. If I want to treat him effectively, then… then the only option is for me to amp my intelligence again."

"Y-you mean you need to make yourself all crazy again!?" Su sputtered incredulously.

"If I want to be able to triage Cross's wounds at an effective rate? Yes. I know it's going to be dangerous, but it's the only chance he has at this point. Unless anyone else has any better ideas…?"

Silence.

"That's what I was afraid of. Alright, everyone step back. Boosting in three… two…" A moment of silence, and then… "Beginning the operation!"

"…So, he found a way to increase his intelligence at will, but morals are compromised at the same time," Kureha muttered. "But even outside of that state, he's still exceptional… better than me."

The doctor-called-witch smiled and laughed. "Kak kak kak kak! Or maybe my age is finally starting to get to me. I suppose it had to happen sooner or later."

-o-

In a candlelit room on a pirate ship somewhere in Paradise, a blonde-haired, stoic man shuffled a pack of cards, staring at the snail before him as he processed the unmistakable sounds of surgery. It was rather clear to him that in all of the excitement, they had completely forgotten that they were still broadcasting and that everyone in the world was now listening to Tony Tony Chopper operate on Jeremiah Cross' innards. It didn't bother him all that much; in fact, it was why he was shuffling his cards. But he couldn't very well imagine that many listeners would sleep well tonight.

Ending his shuffling, he laid five cards down in a basic spread; it would be adequate for this reading. He then began to turn them over.

"The past… hmm?" He raised an eyebrow at the sight of the Tower. "The card of disaster represents the past? Interesting, though considering the events they have reportedly been involved in, not surprising. What of the present?" He flipped over the next card…

"Well, now."

The Six of Swords. A regretful but necessary transition. Some might call it a hopeful sign… those some would only consider Cross, rather than considering how it could apply to the Straw Hats as a whole.

"The future…" The inverted Hierophant; a challenge to the status quo, breaking away from conformity. Quite obvious, of course, though men could just as easily lead revolutions in death as they could in life.

"The cause…" Judgment, also inverted; for all that Eneru claimed to be a god, the fact that the card's position represented self-doubt showed that Cross' words had shaken him.

"And… the outcome." He revealed the final card, and as the sound of surgery on the other end of the snail began to slow to a halt, he stared impassively at the result.

Death.

Hawkins observed the painted Reaper's grim smile for a moment before laying the card down with a sigh.

"How cliché…"

-o-

"Why did you leave the transceiver running through that?" groused a frustrated and thoroughly-green-looking Paulie. "Seriously, not everyone in the world is a doctor as crazy as yours!"

"They can't hear you, you know," chirped Hattori, the man whose shoulder he was perched on looking only slightly ill-at-ease, while the pigeon seemed somewhat dizzy.

"That was a rather… graphic display," Iceburg muttered, glancing out the door at the rest of Water 7. "Perhaps I should try finding out if we can sue him—"

"Unlikely," Kalifa promptly replied. "Until now, there have been few ways to create anything close to a worldwide broadcast, all of which are under Marine and World Government control and all of which require significant Transponder power. As the devices have been created by the World Government and utilized only in extremely special cases, along the magnitude of Gol D. Roger's execution—though, of course, the technology was not quite that advanced at the time, so that wasn't broadcasted—the World Government has never deemed it necessary to form regulations."

She adjusted her glasses thoughtfully before speaking again. "And apart from that, even if they had laws about it, in case you haven't noticed, it's doubtful that Jeremiah Cross would adhere to them."

Iceburg raised his eyebrows at the secretary's dryness. "Kalifa, that's the most unprofessionalism I've ever seen from you."

The secretary gave her boss a flat look. "My apologies, Mayor Iceburg, I'm a bit off my game from the fact that I just heard a round of electroshock torture followed by live surgery."

"She has a point, Iceburg; do you see anyone in here not ill at ease after that?" Lulu asked, pushing a wayward strand of his nose-hair back into his nostril, only to wince as his armpit hair suddenly jabbed into his arm.

"And considering just how rough the yard is on a day-to-day basis with all the pirates and Marines we get, that's really saying something!" Tilestone said… well, 'rumbled', really, but that was the lowest his voice could go.

"Alrighgrrgghgghhhggghhh…" Chopper suddenly ground out before panting wearily. "Huff… huff… I'm getting too used to that… a-alright, his organs are stable now, but we need to move to his limbs; at this point, it's not going to be possible to avoid scarring, but maybe if I—"

"Um, guys?" Vivi cut in hesitantly. "I realize this might be a bad time, but did… did Cross ever hang up the SBS?"

The silence was incredible.

"…shit," Lassoo summarized firmly.

"Finally, someone notices," Kaku breathed in relief.

"Wait, you mean the whole wowld's been wistening to this nightmawe!?" Carue asked in disbelief.

"What the hell, slimeball!?" Su demanded.

"I'm sorry, I was too busy with the fact that MY BEST FRIEND WAS GETTING TORTURED AND ALMOST DIED!"

"Might still die if you don't all shut up and let me work in peace! AND NO, I'M NOT AMPING AGAIN!" Chopper roared. "Give me that!"

There was a loud click, and then the Transponder Snail sagged and started wheezing miserably, its throat no doubt sore from the acoustic horrors it had been all but forced to share.

"…Kalifa, could you go and find out what the best treatment for a Transponder Snail having a sore throat is? And then start handing it out across town?"

"Right away, sir."

-o-

My return to consciousness was two things above all else: slow… and painful. Wait… did I already say that? Ergh, so hard to think. Everything was just so… fuzzyyyaaaARGH! BURNS, BURNS! NOT FUZZY, NOT FUZZ—Ah, no, wait, wait, this was soft, this was soft, ahhh…

Now, this felt nice, really nice, like feathers… goose or seagull or… duck? Wait a second…

"Carue…?" I moaned blearily.

"Oh, good, you're awake."

I tried to turn my head and open my eyes, only for said body parts to lodge a protest in the form of a pair of car bombs of pain.

… damn, this was bad, I don't usually get this flowery.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," a brown blob jerking next to me I think was Chopper said. "Eneru did a lot of damage; you almost died, and you're not completely out of danger yet."

"Aaargh…" I craned my neck back and forth as much as I could, ignoring the needles of pain that flared in my neck. "Wha—? Where are we?"

"We're heading towards the coast," said someone sitting behind me on the supersonic duck… Conis, I think? Yeah, had to be, that was a blonde head of hair, and Sanji's silhouette did not look like that. Well, not without Ivankov's involvement, anyway. Didn't Oda do a bit with tha-a-a… wow, was I out of it. "We're getting you back to the Merry, so that Chopper can work on you further."

I blinked slowly, fighting through the pain in an effort to get my eyes working again. "We…? Who's…?"

"Conis, Chopper, Vivi, the duck, the snail and me!" a white blur perched on Conis' shoulders provided.

Wait… I scrunched my face up as I tried to get my ducks in a row. Screwed as my head was, that number of names didn't add up. "Wait, what… what about… Lassoo?"

"Goat soldiers started converging on the BEANSTALK!" Soundbite provided. "HE STAYED TO kick ass, take names AND COVER OUR TRACKS."

"…On his own?"

"I called MIKEY AND LEO for backup."

"Hey, I think I can see da' coast!" Carue suddenly squawked.

"Oh, that's goo…goo…" I started to say before trailing off listlessly. Freaking hell, since when did my tongue feel like it was… made of lead… ergh, my head… "Grrgh… guh…"

"Cross? Croooss…?"

Whose voice was that? I could barely hear anything… it was like I was… underwater or something…

Time passed… weirdly for me. I… I'm pretty sure that I was carried onto a rocking frame that had to be the Merry. There was a lot of motion, a lot of talking… some yelling too, maybe, couldn't really make out who was saying what though. I might have felt some tugging on my arms… it was hard to tell though, for some reason all feeling stopped past my shoulders… same with my legs actually…

Eh. Probably not important. Despite the lack of feeling in my limbs, or maybe because of it, I slowly found myself starting to relax. The ocean swell, the gentle breeze, the sound of my crewmates rushing around… it was soothing, really.

And then, all at once, the world became white and shook and roared and… well, that must have been too much for my brain, because the next thing I knew, everything was black.

-o-

'Oh, hey, that cloud looks like Luffy's stupid face…' was my first thought when I opened my eyes again.

My second was a hazy reiteration of my thoughts the last time I woke up: lying on a surface as soft as down. I must have been getting better, if only a bit, because I managed to make the connection that I was lying on Carue again. A mobile Carue. Alone… wait, what?

"Hhhnnngh…?" I tried to shift around on the duck's back, only to be stopped by a familiar hoof.

"Cross! Are you awake again?" Chopper asked desperately.

"Ergh, barely…" I moaned, slowly bringing the back of my bandaged hand to my forehead. The fact that the motion didn't send a cascade of agony through me was a marked improvement. "W-Where—?"

Suddenly, a ripple of thunder swept through the air, causing me to shudder fearfully. Damn it, going from not fearing thunder and lightning since I was ten to full-blown astraphobia? Fan-freaking-tastic. I'd probably even have to ask Chopper to help me with it, otherwise Soundbite would have a field… day…

"Soundbite?"

"I'm here!" he piped up from my back.

"He wouldn't wet us not take him and da twansceivah with us," Carue explained.

"Wha—?" I shivered as a latent wave of pain swept over me. "What's going on? Where...?"

"Eneru started raining lightning down around the island." Chopper sent a nervous glance up at the sky. "W-We were afraid that we'd get hit, and you were having a bad reaction to the thunder, so Nami told Carue and I to head for that giant beanstalk… Giant Jack, I think. Aisa said it's where everyone's starting to gather, and Nami said it looked like the lightning was avoiding hitting near it. We're almost there now."

I processed that for a bit before closing my eyes as I fought to recall the details of what was going to happen next. Eneru's survival game hadn't ended yet, otherwise there'd have been some mention of the Ark Maxim and… Deathpiea, he called it. At the same time, though… wait, what was it that made Nami wind up with Eneru in the first place?

…I was very glad that I didn't say that out loud, both because Eneru would have heard me and, worse, Soundbite would have heard me. What was it, what was it… damn this arc for being so stupidly complex… alright, let's see, she got there on the Waver, she wound up in Shandora at the same time as the others because… she got out of Nola. And how did she get in Nola again? It was with Gan Fall, I remember that… sometime during the Ordeal of Iron, they got eaten. But what sent her there? How did she wind up on Ohm's battlefield? She left the Merry with Aisa at some point, leaving Conis and Pagaya to guard it… but Conis was already there… I needed more details.

"What else have I missed?" I asked hoarsely.

"Well…" Chopper flinched sadly. "While we were all going through the jungle, Eneru appeared on the Merry and flash-fried Usopp and Sanji. They're nowhere near as bad off as you, but they're still unconscious, so…"

I scowled darkly. Damn that bastard Eneru, spreading suffering and misery everywhere he—

…oh shit.

"Soundbite…" I grit out as fast as I could manage. "C-Connect me to the Merry, qui—!"

"Guys, we'we at dah beanstawk!" Carue suddenly squawked.

I'd just raised my head to catch sight of the expanse of island clouds that covered the lower ruins of Shandora and surrounded the base of Giant Jack when I felt Soundbite tense up.

"WAIT A—OH, SHIT! RUN!"

Unfortunately, before Carue could react appropriately, a voice I'd dearly hoped I'd never hear again roared out.

"SANGO!"

I grimaced as the island clouds started to light up. "Oh, this is going to su—!"

KEE-RACK!

I was becoming way too used to tumbling into the void…

-o-

"—up… —et up… I said… WAKE UP, MONGREL!"

THWACK!

"Hoorf!" I grunted as something hit me in the stomach and knocked all the air out of my lungs. "Motherfuck that hurt! I'm gonna… kill…"

I trailed off as I looked up at Eneru towering over me. It especially didn't help that a thoroughly fried Chopper and Carue were lying on the ground behind him, smoking like briquettes.

"Let me rephrase that?" I whimpered.

"NOW you watch what you say…" Soundbite swallowed from where he was cowering on my shoulder.

"Even now your insolent tongue wags," Eneru tsked, before turning to speak to someone I couldn't see. "It seems you are correct; he is in need of more… persuasion."

I tried to turn my head to see who he was referring to—

THWACK!

Only for a rod of gold to ram into my vision and end my brief period of consciousness.

-o-

If the fact that I woke up without half as much haziness as the last time was any indication, I was definitely getting better, and quickly. Unfortunately, I couldn't exactly feel happy about that, considering what I felt when I woke up: a solid surface, covered by a thin piece of softness. Opening my eyes, I saw that it was a red carpet… surrounded by wood and giant gears and a giant golden face oh crap.

"What the fu—MMPH!?" My confused musings were silenced by a hand slapping over my mouth.

"Shut up if you wanna live!" Nami hissed desperately. "I had to act—ah, put my reputation on the line to convince our great and merciful lord to spare your life so you could see just how wrong you were about his powers. Don't make me regret it!"

The only thing that made me actually listen to her urgings was the fact that the look on her face clearly showed that she hated what she was saying… and that she was terrified out of her literally damned mind.

"Yes," drawled the voice of pure evil. "As it seems that you need a more thorough demonstration of what makes me a god, I intend to give one. You will bear witness as I return everything to its place. And perhaps if you repent before the end of it, I will even permit you to accompany me to Fairy Vearth."

I fought to keep my tongue in check, and then I let a menacing smirk come over my face as I remembered what was going to happen. "In that case, do you have any Vision Dials? Assuming I live through this, I'd like to keep a… permanent reminder of just how wrong I was."

I couldn't keep the snark completely out of my voice, but thankfully Eneru was too busy coasting on his apparent victory to care and/or notice, as shown by how he waved his hand dismissively. "The one you acquired from the heretic and her father is still in your bag. Acolyte, help him."

Nami smiled tightly. "At once, your holiness." She hastily looped my arm around her shoulders and helped me up to my feet before dragging me away, hissing in my ear as she did so. "You're not serious, are you? We're in the middle of a potential genocide, and you're concerned with taking pictures?!"

"Oh, trust me, Nami," I snickered malevolently, glancing back at Eneru. "You're going to want this moment to be immortalized. It's not every day you get a look at something so priceless."

"Oh?" That drew Eneru's attention. "So, you're admitting that the alleged monsters you know of on the Blue Sea, for all of their power, are incapable of this scale of destruction?"

I opened my mouth to reply, but came to think better of it due to the snail teeth sinking into my neck. And besides, he did have something of a point; nobody else that I knew of in the history of One Piece had singlehandedly destroyed an island down to the last bit of soil… or at least, not without using Pluton, presumably, and to be fair, said island was made of cloud, rather than earth. Whatever, there was enough truth to throw up some convincing bullshit. "Well, I've heard legends of it, I won't deny that, but not anything that's happened in the last… what was it? Seven hundred years, I think."

Eneru stared for a few moments before smirking. "Then let this be the confirmation for you that there is nobody like me. You shall bear witness to the proof of my abilities as a god."

"I'm looking forward to it," I said honestly, prompting him to turn away. Nami looked to be restraining herself from hitting me, practically quivering with the effort required, and I smirked maliciously at her. "Hey, Nami, did you ever pass on my request to Usopp to upgrade my armor with rubber sleeves? It would have come in handy earlier."

She blinked in complete confusion at the non-sequitur. Then her eyes widened massively, and she returned my smirk with just as much malice. "No, Cross, I don't think I ever did. But it doesn't matter much right now, does it?"

"Yeah, you have a point. We should focus on the matter at hand: getting to a good place to take pictures. It should be a good show with how confident Eneru is about all of this."

"Absolutely," Nami said fervently, helping me over to the port side of the boat. I fished out the Vision Dial and snapped one picture of Eneru in his current 'glory,' but besides that, I just waited for what was inevitably coming up soon. And luckily, we didn't have to wait long.

"HEY! ARE YOU ENERU!?"

I smiled eagerly at the furious roar that ripped through the massive cavern. "Here we go…"

Now, granted, my head was still swimming a bit, so I missed a good chunk of Eneru and Luffy's back-and-forth, and the stupidly massive blasts of pure plasma Eneru threw at Luffy certainly didn't help matters either…

But I couldn't miss Luffy landing on the railing of the Ark and staring at me in shock. "Cross…" he breathed numbly, before snapping an enraged look at the 'God' onboard. "You're dead."

Eneru's response was to zap up to our captain and go for a point-blank Vari… which he promptly ignored in favor of taking a swing at Eneru, which he only just barely managed to dodge.

You would think that reality and the utter gravity of the situation would detract from the hilarity of Eneru's face at the blatant slap in his apparent godliness.

You would be wrong. So, so, so wrong.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Nami and Soundbite cackled eagerly, laughing their asses off at the stupidly hilarious face the arrogant jackass was making.

My one regret at that moment was how hard I was laughing… because it made it so damned hard to take non-shaky pictures of the absolutely glorious wild take that Eneru had performed. Thankfully, I managed to calm myself down eventually just in time to snap an even better picture: that of Luffy slamming his foot dead center in the bastard's stomach, causing him to not only adopt an even more hilarious face, but to spit up a most cathartic amount of blood to boot.

Sadly, the hilarity drained out of the situation rather fast when Eneru got his breath back and sent a vicious glare at us. "What are you laughing at, heathens?" he snarled, raising a crackling hand at us.

"Erk!" I gagged before shoving Nami towards the railing. "Well, we've obviously outstayed our welcome. Luffy, we'll leave it to you, see you at the victory party!"

The good news was that I managed to muster enough force to shove Nami with me over the edge, just in time for a bolt of electricity to soar over our heads. The bad news, however, is that we were, well, kinda falling to our deaths. The even better news, however, was that I had yet to remove the contingency plan for dealing with Satori.

"Please work, please work, please work…" I hissed as I fumbled at my hip and yanked a ripcord.

"AAaaaAAAaaaAA!" Soundbite hollered as a grappling hook fired out from my waist and managed to catch onto the Ark.

Good news, we managed to stay aloft. Bad news, that trick, plus Nami hanging from my neck, was absolute murder on my wounds.

"Grgh," I flailed my arm in panic as the crew's second mate practically strangled me. "Have you ever considered losing weight? Just a bit from the chest, maybe?!"

"HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED DOING SOMETHING NOT COMPLETELY BRAINDEAD INSANE!?" Nami shrieked in my ear.

"Would you prefer not being the only person on the crew who hasn't been zapped?" I shot back. "And besides, it's not like we don't have a way out waiting in the wings."

"What are you—?"

"HEY!"

We both looked up (or was it down? I was kind of hanging upside down, so it was really hard to tell) at Aisa, who was sitting above (or below) us on Pierre's hybrid-form back.

"Unless you want to go for a ride with that maniac, get on already!" the young oracle frantically demanded.

"Right, on it," I agreed as I yanked a latch on the belt I'd demanded Usopp incorporate, causing it to release the rope and drop Nami and me on Pierre's back.

Aisa rammed her heels into the horse-bird's (like hell I was calling him a pegasus!) sides. "Go, go, go!"

"You do realize you could just ask nicely, right!?" Pierre snorted before glaring at Soundbite. "AND CHANGE MY VOICE, DAMN IT!"

"NEVER!"

"JUST GO ALREADY!" Nami shrieked.

"R-Right!" Pierre squawked in a panic as he flapped his wings, soaring down towards the exits.

Aisa blinked in confusion as we went. "What the—? Hey, some weaker voices are coming this way! It sounds like your sniper and cook friends are trying to board…" She blinked in confusion as she double-checked what she was sensing. "Riding birds!?"

"Huh!?" I tried to make sense of that before grinning victoriously. I knew writing those notes was a good idea! "Soundbite, once they're in range, tell them that Luffy's fighting Eneru on the deck alone, so they should avoid that…" I winced as I realized a flaw in my plan. "Though… Sanji should do his best to get Nami's Waver ASAP."

"Wha—!? Dumbass!" Nami growled as she slapped her forehead.

"Anyways," I rolled my eyes as I ignored her. "Tell them that once they get the Waver, they should see about stripping the Ark of as many Dials as they can before getting out of there before Eneru can blast them, alright?"

"Ghetto-strip THE ARK, got it!" Soundbite nodded.

"Hey, we're hitting the tunnel out!" Pierre warned us. "Watch your heads!"

The new good news as we flapped out of the cave where the Maxim was hidden was that we were now on the fast track out of immediate danger…

THWACK!

The new bad news… was stalactites. Stupid, stupid concussion-inducing stalactites.

-o-

My return to consciousness was, once again, painful. Thankfully, however, this time the pain was centered around my head rather than anywhere else… wow, I was having a really bad day if that was my idea of a bright side.

"Ergh..." I leaned up and rubbed my head miserably. A glance around showed that I was with the rest of the crew near the base of Giant Jack. "When are we now?"

"STARING DOWN A raging black ball of DEATH!" Soundbite provided fearfully.

"Say whaaaaOHSHIT!" I hissed fearfully as I followed his gaze skywards.

Have you ever seen truly evil-looking weather before? I'm sure you have, at one time or another. Stormfronts that eat up the horizon, clouds so dark they merge almost seamlessly with the sky…

None of them compared to the sight of Eneru's Raigo. Some part of my mind made the connection that if he was trying to destroy Upper Yard, Angel Island was already gone. But I didn't have enough mental capacity to spare towards feeling guilty about that considering just how close I was to getting a shock that there was no way I'd be able to live through, and my newly acquired fear of thunderstorms… or at least, lightning, wasn't helping.

Cr…Crack…CRACKLE…

I stared in confusion as the ball of cloud and death that was filling the heavens froze and started vibrating before sighing in relief. "Oh, thank goodness…"

FWOOM!

I smiled thankfully as the cloud exploded, blasting the rest of the storm away in a singular explosion of wind.

I pumped my fist with a whoop of joy. "GOD BLESS MY CAPTAIN'S SENSE OF TIMING! GO LUFFY! KICK THAT SON-OF-A-BITCH'S STATICKY ASS!"

"COME ON, LUFFY!" Boss roared through his cupped flippers.

"GO, CAPTAIN, GO!" The lightly-charred TDWS pumped their fists confidently, which Lassoo backed up with a heartfelt howl, and Usopp with a pair of party-fans.

"RING IT, STRAW HAT!" Wiper cried from the base of what remained of the beanstalk. "LIGHT THE LIGHT OF SHANDORA!"

"Let us hear it, boy," Gan Fall breathed reverentially. "The song of the island!"

Way up high, the sky flashed and raged time after time, with Luffy striking out against the false god and Eneru striking back until finally, I saw it.

A glimmer of gold hanging down from the sky, stretching out farther and farther... before finally stopping.

I was vaguely aware of the fact that I'd unhooked my Transceiver's mic from its cradle, and that Soundbite had taken the hint and started the SBS.

"People of the world…" I breathed numbly. "My captain has a message he'd like to share with you all. Soundbite? Broadcast him."

"RIGHT!"

-o-

"HEY! OLD MAN CRICKET! CAN YOU HEAR IT?!"

"I can hear it…" Montblanc Cricket breathed, his eyes closed in sheer bliss. "He was right. Noland was right!" His eyes shot open, a fire blazing in the pupils and a manic grin on his face. "HA! IN YOUR FACE, FUCKERS! I WAS RIGHT THIS WHOLE TIME! NOW WHO'S THE FOOL?! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Both Masira and Shoujou felt massive drops of sweat run down the backs of their heads at the sight of their usually cool-headed boss cackling and ranting like a cut-rate stage villain.

"I get the feeling Old Man Cricket hasn't been entirely honest with us about his school days," Shoujou muttered.

"With a head like that, you think?" Masira mumbled back.

"WHAT WAS THAT!?"

"N-nothing, boss!" the monkeys shuddered in panic.

-o-

"WE FOUND THE CITY OF GOLD!"

"NO! NO, IT'S NOT FUCKING POSSIBLE!"

"Come on, Bellamy, calm down!" one of the incensed spring-man's underlings pleaded as he tried to hold his flailing captain down in his bed. "Think about your wounds!"

"FUCK MY WOUNDS!" the hyena roared. "THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY IN HELL THAT THOSE STUPID BRIGHT-EYED DREAMERS WERE RIGHT! THE AGE OF DREAMS IS OVER! THERE IS NO ONE PIECE, THERE IS NO SKY ISLAND, THERE IS NO CITY OF—!"

"FOR THE LAST 400 YEARS, THE CITY OF GOLD…"

CLAAAAAANG!

And just like that, Bellamy froze up, liquid nitrogen flooding his body as the most beautiful sound he'd heard in his entire life came from two places at once: from the rapturous Transponder Snail in the captain's quarters of the New Witch's Tongue…

And from the darkness-covered heavens.

"WAS IN THE SKY!"

Bellamy remained frozen for the longest time, each ring of the bell hitting him like a physical force, until finally...

THWUMP!

His underlings' panic was redoubled due to him collapsing into his bed, bloody foam that had nothing to do with his snail-induced injuries bubbling out of his mouth.

-o-

Just off the coast of a certain infamous and prosperous kingdom in the New World, beneath an island-jungle, a secret colony of dwarves was having an impromptu celebration, dancing around a carved bust to the beat of the bell that was being transmitted via the Transponder Snail they'd stolen.

"OUR HERO HAS BEEN VINDICATED!" the sewing-dwarf hero of the Tontattas led his people in cheering. "THE MISPLACED SHAME ON OUR HERO HAS BEEN DESTROYED! CHEERS FOR MONTBLANC NOLAND! CHEERS FOR THE CITY OF GOLD! AND CHEERS FOR THE STRAW HAT PIRATES, FOR PROVING TO THE WORLD THAT OUR HERO WAS NOT A FRAUD!"

"CHEERS! CHEERS!" came the thunderous reply.

-o-

Up in the North Blue, a child tugged on the leg of one of his parents' pants in confusion. "Mommy, daddy?" he asked softly. "Why are you crying?"

The two adults glanced at one another before wiping the tears out of their eyes and smiling at their child.

"N-nothing, son," the father hiccuped happily. "Say, it's getting close to your bedtime, isn't it? What do you say we tuck you in? We have a new bedtime story we want to tell you."

"Really? Great! What's it called?"

"It's called… 'Noland the Adventurer'."

-o-

I could only do two things in the face of the bell's ringing: smile like an idiot, and cry like a bitch. And why the hell not? The noise it was making, the way the resonating sound waves rolled over me, filled me… it was… I'd never even heard anything so beautiful before in my life. I… I didn't even think something so beautiful could exist…

"I have seen the face of god..." Soundbite breathed through his slack jaw.

I hiccuped in agreement as I shakily brought the mic to my mouth. "Well… looks like that's that. It put us through the wringer and it was crazy as heck, but… well, we won. It's… as simple as that." Suddenly, I became aware of just how tired I was. "And… it's a good thing too, because… yeah, I'm at the end of my rope. I'll see you all later in…" I yawned tiredly. "No less than twenty-four hours… but until then, this is Jeremiah Cross…"

"AND SOUNDBITE!"

"Signing off. G'night…"

And with that, I hung up the transceiver and fell backward into oblivion.

Only this time… I did so with a smile.

Xomniac AN: Downside of an early update, it's a bit lighter than our usual load. Upside? It's early! Hope you enjoyed!

Patient AN: Another pair of upsides: no cliffhanger this week, and no hiatus next week. And best of all, it's summer! Finals are over, and we've got the whole summer to write.

Hornet AN: You guys do remember I'm going on vacation for the next three weeks, right?

Patient AN: …Well, looks like I was wrong. Sorry, viewers, looks like you'll have to wait another month for the conclusion of Skypiea. Sorry.

Xomniac AN: Believe us, this pains us as much as it pains you.

Hornet AN: You guys do know you can write this thing without me, right? I mean, I'm not going to be completely unplugged.

Xomniac AN: ... well, that works too.

Patient AN: All right, then, viewers, looks like I was wrong again. We may be delayed with the next posting, but we'll see what happens. Until next time, just remember: Patience is a virtue.