Chapter 31

Cross-Brain: At long last, we return, and with another monstrous chapter! Fair warning, you may want to beware of flying hammers, because this chapter is simply going to be WHAM after WHAM after WHAM. Also, for those of you curious as to why this chapter is a week late… well, we said we'd publish after we were whole once more. We didn't say immediately after; we may be good, but we can't crank out a whole chapter in just 24 hours. But hey, you're getting another 30k, so you can't be too upset at us, right?

Hornet AN: Oh, and for those of you on Spacebattles, remember what I said about no new animal characters for at least another arc?

I lied.

Patient AN: Or rather, he forgot.

Hornet AN: Shut up!

It was roughly an hour or two after Eneru's defeat that my body let me come out of the daze I'd been in. While Chopper tried to insist that I rest for another day, enough of my mental faculties were active to know that that would have intolerable consequences: I would miss the victory party. In light of that, Chopper gave me a shot of the most stable of his adrenaline serums, though it left me fidgeting and feeling like I'd just chugged a six-pack of Coke.

The first thought on my mind once I was cleared to leave was what I'd missed, and the crew plus a newly returned Luffy, Nami, Vivi, and Conis were quite happy to fill in the blanks.

Most of what happened during the Survival Game was too detailed to bother talking about, especially with what I knew already, so we just covered the highlights: Shura, Gedatsu, Yama, and Hotori and Kotori's much easier defeats—and that was saying something for Shura—Zoro's newfound 'friendly' rivalry with Braham inspiring his Phoenix attacks, and Eneru's enthusiastic crashing of the Survival Game, with little to no care about who he did or didn't fry, after my encounter with him.

When all was said and done, the number of people who survived to make it to Shandora—excluding Luffy, Aisa, and Pierre, who were still in Nola—was seven: the canon five, Boss, and Braham, with Carue and Chopper joining the fray soon after they arrived with me in tow. As Eneru spoke of his plans, Gan Fall had charged in a furious rage and fallen easily. Robin kept silent about the bell due to my forewarning, and observed as Wiper made his successful assault on the lightning-man, adding her own powers to break his limbs and neck in the process.

Unfortunately, he then proceeded to demonstrate just how legitimately bullshit Logia abilities are by circumventing the injuries and using his own lightning to puppet his nerves along with restarting his heart, and both of them and Braham fell to the self-proclaimed god. Despite attempting to use Wiper's skate, Zoro, Boss, Carue, and Chopper fell similarly, leaving only Nami and myself. Nami managed to fast-talk him into not finishing me off, and instead giving me a chance to repent at seeing more of his power, and so he brought me along to the Ark Maxim.

After we escaped the Maxim, Nami headed back to Shandora, where Sanji and Usopp joined her shortly afterward; apparently, Isaiah and Terry had managed to talk some of the local South Birds into giving them a lift. They hadn't escaped with Nami's Waver fully unscathed, though that was mostly because of the fact that neither of them was capable of piloting the thing right, but they did end up in Shandora in time. Unfortunately, despite Luffy's increased rage, he hadn't managed to cope with the giant ball on his arm, so he joined them there not long afterward. After that, things had proceeded according to usual.

A little bit too usual, actually.

"So, we lost Angel Island, huh?" I sighed sadly.

"There was nothing we could do to stop the first Raigo, Cross," Nami replied, shaking her head solemnly.

"But it's not all bad news," Conis said with a bittersweet smile. "Nobody was killed in the attack, the island was fully evacuated before it was destroyed."

"We've actually got you to thank for that, Cross!" Vivi happily informed me.

"Eh?" I blinked at her in confusion. "How so? I was completely out of it at the time!"

"Actually, it was something you did before then."

I tried to make heads or tails of what she was saying for a second before giving Soundbite a flat look. "I'm lost."

"Ditto," the gastropod nodded in agreement.

"The SBS, you idiots!" Nami snickered.

"Eh!?" Now I was really confused. "But how—?"

"It's easy!" Su piped up, stretching herself out slightly as she tested the bandages Chopper had wrapped around her. "While Soundbite might be the first autonomously talking slimeball we've had up here in the clouds, he's not the only one of his kind in the White Sea!"

"Indeed," Conis nodded in agreement. "You see, not all Blue Sea Dwellers who come up here are quite as…" She hesitated slightly as she sought out a word.

"Hectic?" Raphey provided.

"…sure, let's go with that." Going by her expression, she felt that didn't quite cover things, and frankly, neither did I. "Anyway, there have been instances where inhabitants of Angel Island have traded Dials for Transponder Snails in the past, often to keep as pets. I've never done so myself, and I wasn't around one to hear your broadcast in the past few days, so I had no idea about it until we found out that Captain McKinley had already begun an evacuation when Vivi and I arrived at Angel Island to warn… them…"

She trailed off, and both she and Su looked away sadly.

"What's—? Oh, riiight." I flinched as I remembered what I'd meant to tell her for a while now. "Uh, Conis, about Pagaya…"

"I-it's fine, Cross…" Conis sighed sadly, hugging her arms as she looked away. "I… it hurt, when it happened, but until now it was just… a fact of life. I… I know that he's gone, I accept it, and…" Tears started to trail from her eyes. "I'll… always miss him…"

"And I'll miss you too, Conis," Pagaya reassured her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Just know that I'll always love you, alright?"

Conis smiled tearfully as she grasped the hand. "Thank you, Father, that means the world to me."

"But of course. It's a parent's duty to accept their children's dreams, after all."

"I know, but still—"

"WILL YOU HURRY UP AND READ WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS SITUATION ALREADY!?" Su shrieked.

That got Conis to blink in surprise… which got her to open her eyes… which caused her to see Pagaya. And that got her to reel in shock. "FATHER!?"

"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD!" concurred a chorus of indignant voices from my crewmates.

"I'm sorry, I'm alive," Pagaya said apologetically.

I facepalmed, immediately regretting the action as a shot of pain raced down my arm, before looking back at Conis with a sheepish grin. "So, yeah. He's still alive. Crazy, hu… uh… Conis?"

I trailed off in confusion as I caught sight of her. She was frozen, sure, that much I'd expected, but rather than an expression of euphoria and relief like I'd thought she'd show, she looked confused and… conflicted? It was only for a moment, though; the next second, she broke into a joyful smile and embraced her father.

I exchanged glances with Soundbite, who was similarly confused, but we ultimately elected to shrug it off. Not our business.

"Good to see you're still alive, old man!" I waved cheekily… another action I promptly regretted with a wince, this time directing a look at my mummified arm.

Yeah… Eneru had done a hell of a number on my limbs. The good news was that I didn't have to worry about leaving fingerprints ever again! Or fingernails, for that matter. Or nails of any kind, really…

Simply put, my limbs looked like they'd been… melted, for lack of a better term. The flesh on my lower arms and legs was completely coated in third-degree burns, making them look like runny wax candles more than anything else. See, according to Chopper, the majority of my injuries came not from Eneru's lightning, but rather from the heat that it had caused in my armor, which had pretty much flash-cooked all the skin on my limbs from the elbows and knees down. He'd have been able to do more to help them, save that my innards had been in pretty bad condition too, so he'd had to operate there first. On the bright side, I'd have a hell of a story if anyone asked why the hell I had scars from a Y-incision all over my torso.

Still, by the time he'd been done guaranteeing that I'd live, there wasn't much he could do about my limbs; the flesh had re-solidified inside my armor, and he'd been forced to cut both it and most of my epidermis off alongside it in order to save my arms. It was all he could do to keep my nerves intact; I hadn't lost any motor abilities, thank God, but it would be a long time—post-timeskip long—before I'd be able to stand having my arms and legs exposed without it feeling like the air was burning the naked dermis.

But really, it wasn't like it was all that bad. The medicine-soaked bandages Chopper had given me kept the pain to a minimum, and he said that the flesh would heal in a day or two. Usopp was already working on cleaning my flesh out of the remains of my old armor and reforging what was left into something even better based off of Gan Fall's own armor, assuring me that he'd have it insulated this time, and above all else…

"Come on, you've got to admit, it's at least a little badass, right?" I grinned as I held up my bandage-wrapped forearm for Nami to see.

"The absolute hell it is!" she snarled viciously. "What is it with men and thinking that scars are cool?! You really think that being nearly killed like that is some kind of proof of being badass?"

"Oh, no, no, no, Nami," I said, smirking. "Being nearly killed like that because you refused to yield to the demands of a tyrannical jerkass like Eneru, and stayed true to your beliefs even if you thought you'd die for it? That is the proof of being a badass, and these are the proof that I did it."

"Heh," Sanji smirked. "I have to admit that I'm impressed, Cross; I haven't seen anyone stay that firm in their beliefs since Mosshead fought Mihawk."

"Ugh… that's just reinforcing my point. Seriously, did getting nearly bisected give any benefits besides a stupid scar?"

"Definitely," I said firmly. "The only swordsmen that Mihawk respects are the ones capable of putting up a decent fight against him. Zoro is the sole exception; the heart he showed changed Mihawk's view of him from just another overconfident rookie to the best candidate for his successor."

Zoro's grin in response to that statement was more joyful than I had ever seen from him, prompting Nami to roll her eyes. "Alright, for the sake of Zoro's dream, I'll agree that that's a good bright side. But I still say that this—" She gestured at my bandages "—was stupid, not 'badass.' You haven't given me a reason why you wouldn't have been better off swallowing your pride and backing off!"

I shrugged. "I'll let you know as soon as I have one to show you. Anyway, how's everyone else doing?"

"A few bruises and burns, but nothing as bad as yours," Boss grumbled, slamming his fist into his palm. "And I'm lucky about that; those notes of yours were a little too accurate for my tastes, though you forgot to include where the hell he went when all was said and done! Believe me, if I'd gotten my hands on him after Luffy was through with him, that bastard would be sky shark chum right now!"

"Actually, I omitted telling you where he'd end up by design," I admitted, to much incredulity. "Don't get me wrong, I want him dead as much as you do, but this was the only way I could think of that guaranteed that the Rumble-Rumble Fruit would have little to no chance of crossing our path again; if the user of a Devil Fruit dies, the power is reincarnated into the nearest appropriate fruit, and there's no guarantee that that fruit would be native to Skypiea, or in the sky at all. The last thing we need is for it to fall into the hands of another enemy, or God forbid, the Marines."

"Then what's gonna happen to Enewu now? That fwying ship of his cwashed somewhewe faw away when Luffy beat him," Carue said.

"It might have crashed, but dick that he is, Eneru's also a hell of an engineer. The crash didn't damage the ship enough to keep him down. But unless I pissed him off more than I expected, he's running with his tail between his legs—!"

"Watch it," Lassoo warned me.

"It was a valid saying before we had a talking dog on the crew, mutt," I glared at him before continuing. "Anyways, he's taking his power to the one place where no one can get their hands on it for a long time."

It only took Nami a second to pale in shock. "W-wait, you mean that his ship—!?"

"Is flying off to what he knows as Fairy Vearth, and what we know as—"

"BAM, POW, straight to THE MOON!" Soundbite provided eagerly.

Nami stared at us in blank horror for a moment before collapsing to her knees. "NOOOOOOO!" she howled as she shook her fists at the sky in despair.

"Uh, Nami?" Luffy asked in confusion.

"MY GOLD!" Nami screamed, as though every inch of her were in agony… which, on second thought, might not have been that far off of a comparison. "ALL OF MY BEAUTIFUL GOLD, GONE!" She hunched forwards and started slamming her fists on the ground. "CURSE YOU, ENERU! CUUUURSE YOOOOUUUU!"

"Seriously?" Soundbite asked flatly before tilting his eyestalks in confusion. "Huh. THIS SEEMS FAMILIAR…"

"There, there, Nami, it's not all bad…" Vivi rubbed the navigator's back kindly.

"Yeah, she's right!" I concurred promptly. "As a matter of fact, there's even more gold waiting for us, gold that he didn'ttake, just ripe for the picking."

"WHAT!?"

THWACK!

"Ow!" I winced in pain as Nami bodily tackled me and started shaking me by my collar.

"Where is it, man, where is it!?" she ranted, practically foaming at the mouth.

"Let—me—go—and—I'll—tell—you!" I managed to get out. In the end, it took half a dozen of Robin's arms and two dugongs to pull the gold-crazed navigator off of me. I hacked and wheezed as I massaged my throat before responding.

"Alright, first things first…" I pointed at Nola, who'd been gleefully slithering through the ruins of Shandora ever since she'd woken up. "See that giant snake there?"

"Yeah?" Usopp asked, already visibly uncomfortable with where this conversation was heading.

"We need to get it black-out drunk."

"Wha—get the snake dru—?" Nami said, before her eyes widened. "All of that wreckage… of course."

"Yeah, and you know, the best place to get a lot of alcohol is a good party, and considering how we've just put an end to six years of tyranny and a 400-year war—"

"VICTORY PARTY!"

By the time I'd stopped seeing double and my ears had stopped ringing, Nami was long gone. "That was louuud…" I moaned as I knocked my hand against my ear.

"TELL ME about it…" Soundbite agreed, his eyes spinning miserably.

"So… is it usually like this for you guys?" Aisa asked as she eyed the dust trail that Nami had left.

"I can still smell some adrenaline in the air, and I'm pretty certain that she must be a mile into the jungle by now," Su deadpanned. "What the heck do you think?"

"Alright, anyway, before we get started with the party, I have something else to take care of," I said, reaching for the transceiver. "Aisa, how's Wiper doing right now?"

"He's conscious, thanks to Chopper, but doctor's orders are that he doesn't do anything more strenuous than speaking right now," Aisa replied.

"Alright. Lead me to him, I think he'll want to be the one to do this. Meanwhile, I think it's high time we found out what else this thing is capable of."

-o-

Beneath the waters of Paradise, a small pirate crew that was swiftly becoming one of the most infamous groups of seafaring rogues of the generation sailed in a ship that would result in Soundbite being gagged within thirty seconds of seeing it, lest he fill the air with the voices of John, George, Ringo, and Paul until the crew's ears fell off. Aboard this ship was one of the world's finest doctors and surgeons; to his knowledge, only three people still alive including him knew his full name, while the majority of the Marines knew him as merely the Surgeon of Death, by virtue of his coveted Devil Fruit powers.

And at the current moment, he was entertaining a new respect for the young man named Jeremiah Cross; his ears, sharp after over a decade's worth of surgeries, had flawlessly processed every detail of the mistakenly broadcast operation, and the fact that he had managed to stand strong in the face of a powerful tyrant like that with injuries that severe and live to tell about it was extremely impressive, as was the skill of their crew's doctor. On the other hand, he was well aware of the fact that Cross was likely to have received significant and permanent damage to his limbs. If he knew what was good for him, he would probably be unconscious for the next several hours.

"Don don don don!"

"On the other hand, that would be giving his sanity far too much credit, wouldn't it?" Trafalgar Law mused.

"What was that, Captain?" Penguin asked curiously.

"I said answer the snail," the renowned Surgeon of Death deflected.

"Uh, sir?" Shachi swallowed nervously. "Shouldn't you be concentrating on what you're doing?"

Law scoffed as he spun his scalpel in his fingers. "Please, all I'm doing is replacing a ruined kidney. I could do this with my eyes closed."

The co-first-mate of the Heart Pirates swallowed heavily as he watched the surgical blade twirl above his exposed entrails. "Please don't."

Law gave his subordinate a flat look before shrugging and stabbing the blade into the table next to his head, ignoring the panicked whimper he let out. "Fine, we'll take a break while we listen."

Shachi breathed a sigh of relief, before tensing as his captain walked away. "Ah… do you think you could close me up first!?"

"Picky, picky," Law grumbled as he snapped his fingers.

Shachi started to sigh yet again but paused when he caught sight of the surgical tray covering the open window into his body. He stared at it for a second before letting his head hit the table with a groan. "This is the best I'm going to get, isn't it?"

"I'll finish with you as soon as the SBS is over," Law said dismissively, leaning to recline against his oldest crewmate, a rather fluffy bear mink who was currently sedated due to the ever-present queasiness that flared up whenever his captain performed his art, which did absolutely nothing to impede his effectiveness as a cushion. Law had just settled down as Penguin picked up the receiver.

"—Axe Dials, five Axe Dials, six Axe Dials, seven Axe Dials, Dials! Alright, that'll do. So, considering that Soundbite couldn't possibly be so cruel as to interrupt me after I nearly died—"

"WHAT!? No way, I'm totally that cruel!" Soundbite said, sounding genuinely offended. "START THE SBS!"

"…I'll be honest, viewers, I'm not entirely sure what I was expecting."

"Seriously, Cross, you need to PAY BETTER ATTENTION."

"I know, I know, I'm working on it."

Everyone awake chuckled, save Law, though he couldn't suppress a smirk.

"Anyway, viewers, fair warning at the get-go: a good portion of this broadcast is going to be me playing around with the transceiver, seeing just how many features it has. Why do I not know what it can do? Because the thing didn't come with an instruction manual, and us finding one for it is as likely as the Marines offering Buggy the Clown a position with the Seven Warlords."

"Buggy the Clown?" someone asked.

"I think I've heard of him. Small-time pirate from the East Blue. I think Straw Hat got his bounty after beating in his face and a few others along with it," another commented.

"Alright, so let's see what we've got here… Huh, looks like the display's changed. Looks like…?"

"…CONCEITED BASTARD, ain't it?"

"What—? Oh. Ugh, no kidding. Still, I wouldn't mind giving it a shot. One sec, viewers, I'm going to try calling the Transponder Snail number that the transceiver is now showing. And if there is any goodness in this world, it won't connect me to who I think it will…"

There was a brief ruffling sound, followed by the telltale clicking of someone inputting a Transponder Snail number. Moments later…

"Dot dot dot dot! THE HECK!?"

Law cocked an eyebrow in intrigue. "Well, now, that's a surprise…"

"What the—?" Cross started before cutting off as he scrambled to do something. A second later, there was a click. "Hello? Hello?" the pirate's voice called out, only it appeared to be layered and echoed, as if…

"Oooh, now that's interesting," the Surgeon of Death chuckled.

"What are you talking about, Captain?" Penguin asked, not yet having grasped the implications.

Cross unwittingly answered the question with a bark of laughter, his voice having returned to normal. "Well, well, well, isn't this a handy little feature!? Viewers, I have just discovered the call-in number for the SBS! All you have to do is call the following number, 432-782-762, during the broadcast, and we will be able to talk live! Again, that number is 432-782-762. Dial it in during the SBS broadcast, and we'll have you on the air. Oh, and if you're concerned about the long arm of the law—no relation to the Long-Arm Tribe—just tap your fingers against the speaker after we pick up, and Soundbite will use his powers to blur your voice so that nobody can recognize you."

"I AM THE GREAT—Dot dot dot dot—EST! Ooh, here's our first caller ALREADY! Hello, you've reached the SBS!"

The snail's expression contorted into a smug grin.

A grin that put all the onlooking Heart Pirates on edge and prompted Law to snap into a sitting position, instinctively strangling his Kikoku's hilt in an ironic death-grip.

"Fuffuffuffuffu," came an all-too-familiar laugh from an all-too-familiar voice. "Well, isn't this luc—KA-LICK!" Without warning, the voice was cut off, and replaced by Cross's cheerful, if slightly strained voice.

"Something I forgot to mention: we do have standards here on the SBS, even if we don't usually show it, and we won't…eh? Alright, we won't willingly permit malicious or… what? Ergh, alright, alright, malicious or too inappropriate content to be aired. Now, most of the time, I'll be willing to give anyone a chance to say their bit and dig their own grave."

Cross's only slightly shaky smile was once more replaced by the vicious grin, which was now several molars wider.

"Well, that was rude, but thank you. Now, then—KA-LICK!"

"A fact to consider, however," Cross resumed speaking, his grin now a bit more vicious. "Is that I am a nice and savvy individual, and that I am quite familiar with the… shall we say, reputations of certain individuals. People known for being so thoroughly toxic that we cannot allow them so much as an inch of momentum, lest they corrupt this broadcast entirely. People who are essentially valid for blacklisting from the word go."

The evil grin was back again, though not only was it painfully wide and twitching slightly, but a few veins were starting to pop between the snail's eyestalks.

"Very funny, rookie. You've shown you've got guts, now cut it out or else—KA-LICK!"

"People like the Warlord Donquixote Doflamingo, who I am absolutely positive nobody on this planet likes, aside from his admittedly admirably loyal crewmates and most… I'll be generous and say 'misguided' followers."

"First the Marines and the World Government, then a lunatic with the lightning Logia, and now he's calling out Doflamingo and making a fool of him in front of the entire world. It's official: Jeremiah Cross is trying to get himself killed," Shachi stated weakly.

"That or he has bigger balls than brains," Penguin suggested. "This certainly isn't the first time we've heard of it happening without the captain's help."

"Fair point."

"Now then… which button actually is the blacklist function on this thing… Let's try… this one?" There was a mechanical click, and then the smile was back, with almost twice as many veins.

"Brat, you have no idea who you're—KA-LICK!"

"Nope. This one?"

"I am starting to lose my—KA-LICK!"

"Nope. This one?"

"YOU DON'T WANT ME TO—KA-LICK!"

"Nope. This one?"

BWAAAAAAAAAH!

The Heart Pirates shot back from their Transponder Snail in shock when it suddenly loosed a tremendously loud blare at the top of its lungs, which Soundbite had already shown the world to be very, very impressive.

"…WOW, that was loud," Cross finally got out.

"MY EARS! MY NON-EXISTENT EARS ARE RINGING!" Soundbite groaned.

"Alright, foghorn button. Not what I was looking for, but I am definitely remembering it. Now, where was I… oh, yeah! This one?"

Trafalgar D. Water Law was unsure if he had ever grinned so widely in his life.

-o-

Beneath the deck of the Donquixote Pirates' ship, currently sailing through the waters of Paradise, Monet pushed her thickly lensed glasses up onto her forehead as she watched Sugar get up from her chair and walk across the reading room the sisters had been relaxing in. "What are you doing?"

"Changing chairs to sit over here," the pseudo-toddler explained as she strode over to a somewhat oversized armchair and started hopping in an attempt to climb into its seat.

Monet rolled her eyes in equal parts exasperation and fondness. She then stood up, strode over to her sister, and helped her into her new seat. "Honestly, little sister, what would you do without me?"

"Find a smaller chair, get somebody else to lift me in, or just turn a flunky into a toy and use them as a stepstool," Sugar summarized as she dug a grape out of the bowl she was carrying.

Monet chuckled as she returned to her own seat and picked her book back up. "Of course, of course. And to reiterate my question, why did you decide to sit over there?"

Sugar rolled her eyes in turn as she swallowed the fruit. "Because where you're sitting, the room the Young Master is in is forty-five feet that way," she answered, pointing at the wall behind Monet.

The snow-woman glanced over her shoulder at the wall. "And why is that impo—?"

The snail in the room suddenly clicked its tongue. "There it is! Alright, and there goes the worry of having to deal with the puppetmaster's self-aggrandizing squawking. What say we move on, eh?"

"Rrgrrgghh…" Monet's inquiry was cut off in a choked gurgle as she slumped in her seat, eyes rolling up in her head and foam bubbling out of her slack jaws.

"Because the range of the Young Master's Haki when he loses his temper is fifty feet," Sugar explained to her insensate sibling, shaking her head with a sigh that was equal parts exasperated and fond. "Honestly, big sister, what would you do without me?"

"Hhhgghhh…"

-o-

"Alright, with that done—Eh?… hm, alright, sure. Let me just— Alright, loyal viewers, I need to brief a guest we're about to have. Uh… Soundbite, could you please be mature for five minutes while I talk to Wiper, and put on some music for the viewers that won't make them want to tune out the SBS for the rest of time?"

"Ugh… well, when you PUT IT THAT way, fine. JERKWADS AND GERMS, the musical stylings of A BAND CALLED THE DUBLINERS!"

"…who they have never heard of, but yeah, that'll work. Alright, everyone, here's… eh…"

"Soundbite's Music Corner!"

"…eh, alright."

Midway through the waters of the Grand Line, a long-armed pirate who'd only just started to make a name for himself hummed along to the sound of fiddles, banjos, and other such rural instruments that the snail before him was humming out. "Apapapa, it sounds like the little snail's got an ear for a festive beat!" Scratchmen Apoo chuckled happily.

The chuckling evolved to laughter as Soundbite moved on to sharing his lyrics in a thick medley of North Blue voices.

"And it's all for me grog, me jolly, jolly grog/All for me beer and tobacco/Well I spent all me tin with the lassies drinking gin/Far across the western oceans I must wander!"

"APAPAPA! And good taste in lyrics as well!" Apoo twisted his arm around so that he could successfully slap his knee. "I just might have to call in and ask about these 'Dubliners'! I can't believe I've never heard of them! APAPAPA—Eh?"

Apoo paused in his laughing and looked upward as he scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Saaaay… now, there's a thought… and he'd probably go for it, too…" He began pondering on how he could go about it, and shortly thereafter began moving through the ship to gather his Transponder Snails together. He was just finishing as the music ended, and Cross's voice came across the transponders anew.

"OK, viewers, hope you enjoyed Soundbite's Music Corner; if we get enough positive reception, we'll see about making it a regular thing. Now, moving on to a considerably more serious topic. Earlier today, I confirmed for the world the truth about the Montblanc family… but now, it's time for you to learn the true story of Montblanc Noland, and how he came to the legendary City of Gold. You see, up here in the sky, a different tale has been told from generation to generation… and now, I cede the microphone to the one with the most right to tell you that story."

Shuffling ensued as the microphone was handed over, followed shortly by a masculine voice.

"People of the world, my name is Wiper. I am a descendant of the great warrior Calgara, the last guardian of the City of Shandora before the city was sent to the sky…"

-o-

"… and so, after 400 years, our war has come to an end, and my ancestor's final wish has been fulfilled. And to Noland's descendant… I hope that you hear this, and know of the true heroism of your ancestor."

Cricket and the Saruyama Alliance had been motionless, listening with rapt attention to every word that Wiper said until that moment. And then, he reached forward and grabbed the snail's mic. It didn't need any prompting to dial.

"You've reached the SBS!"

"This is Montblanc Cricket speaking. I heard every word and every ring, Wiper."

Silence fell on the other end, breaking with the sound of a choked-off sob. But Wiper's voice was firm as he replied.

"… I'm glad."

"Wiper, and all of you Straw Hats… I owe you one."

He said nothing more as he started to lay down the receiver.

"Montblanc Cricket."

The freediver froze, the mic an inch from its cradle.

Tears flowed from the snail's eyes as it grinned widely. "Let us meet one day on the land of our ancestors, as they promised. Agreed?"

Cricket stared at the snail silently for a second, before sniffing as he used his forearm to wipe away the tears he hadn't even been trying to hold back, an equally euphoric grin on his face. "Just wait for me. I'll be there before you know it."

And with that, Cricket replaced the receiver.

For a moment, all was still on the coast of Jaya.

Then…

"Boys… how about we go and find us a Knock-Up Stream?"

"HELL YEAH!" the primate-like siblings and their underlings whooped, pumping their fists in the air.

-o-

I waited until Cricket had hung up before smiling. "Well, it's been a fruitful broadcast, everyone: establishing a call-in feature and informing the world of the truth of a tragic tale from long ago, now brought to a happy close. But, I'm afraid that as the victory party is about to start, we'll have to end this off now. So, until tomorrow, viewers, this is Jeremiah Cross—"

"And SOUNDBITE!"

"—Of the SBS, signing off."

I placed the mic on its cradle and stretched out, wincing at the pain but noting with no small measure of relief that it had diminished somewhat compared to the start of the broadcast. I slowly got to my feet and walked towards the sounds of growing activity, and I was nearing the source…

"Puru puru puru puru!"

When Soundbite began ringing. Processing the situation, I remembered what I had talked about the previous night. "Well, here's hoping that this is a turn for the better. Could you call Zoro and Nami over here? Oh, and Vivi, too."

The three of them, with varying degrees of irritation on their faces, made their way away from the party, through the woods and over to me, though their irritation faltered as Soundbite let out another "Puru puru puru puru!"

"MI3?" Vivi asked.

"Unless that number works outside of SBS broadcasts, too, in which case I have a feeling I'm really going to regret handing it out," I replied acridly, picking up the mic. "Hello?"

"Apapapapapa! Hello, Mister Cross?"

My eyes widened; I immediately recognized who was on the other end of the line, and it was not someone I was expecting to hear from for at least another three months, minimum. "Yeees, and you're—"

"Apoo. 'Roar of the Sea' Scratchmen Apoo, ฿75 million bounty, captain of the Grand Line native On Air Pirates! I'm glad to see the number you gave out works even when the SBS is out!"

"…shit," I summarized flatly.

"Apapapa!" Apoo cackled suddenly. "Got you, didn't I? Yeah, I bet that would be a nightmare and a half! Don't worry, I'm calling you on Soundbite's personal number, which I'll keep quiet."

"HOW DID YOU get that? Only ONE PERSON outside the crew KNOWS IT, and DITZY though she is, she's not THAT BAD!" Soundbite said incredulously.

"Actually, you're wrong! There's one other person who knows your number!"

"Who!?" Nami demanded.

"Apapa! Why, the man who gave him it!"

I made the connection in seconds. "Samson!?" Soundbite and I chorused incredulously.

"Yup! That's him! Nice guy! It was easy, really. All I had to do was call a few people in East Blue and confirm that you joined the Straw Hats shortly before they reached Loguetown, and they also told me that when you showed up, Soundbite didn't have a rig yet! From there, I had my snails from that region—and believe me, I have a few—contact Snail shops in the town and I asked around for anyone who provided Ichabod-Portentia 6S model transponder rigs!"

"HOW DO YOU know my MEASUREMENTS!?" Soundbite yelped.

He then tilted his head in the approximation of a shrug. "You've got a slight hissy-click-click every few seconds in your broadcast, a harmless defect of the model. Anyway, once I found the guy, I asked about your number. He was able to tell I was an honest fan and gave it to me, along with a message!"

"Message?" I repeated, somewhat weakly.

"Yeah. His business has boomed since your SBS started; his Transponder Snail Shack is going to become a Transponder Snail Palace before long! He wants to thank you for the windfall and for giving a nice kick in the pants to the World Government, and said that he's at your service for anything he can provide."

"…Huh. Seems like we've made a resourceful ally. But before considering that, would you care to explain why you're calling me?"

"Easy," Vivi said, crossing her arms with a huff. "I've only heard him speak for a few minutes, but I can tell: he's a member of the Long-Arm Tribe. There are only two possible reasons one of them would ever put this much effort into anything: for making money, or for causing trouble in some way, shape or form, and a lot of it, at that."

"Apapapapa! That statement is harsh, stereotypical, and downright racist, Your Highness!" Apoo's grin widened proudly, which Soundbite was able to easily accommodate. "It also happens to be completely true, both in this instance and in general. Anyway, that last broadcast of yours gave me an idea. I have a… proposition for you that, knowing you, I'm pretty sure you'll like…"

I exchanged glances with my friends before crossing my arms and adopting a controlled expression. "I'm listening…"

-o-

"PFFHAHAHAHA!" I cackled, slapping my hands on my knees eagerly, ignoring the pain that resulted from the action. "Oh, man, this is going to be down-and-out epic! I can't wait, this'll just be soooo fun!"

"Well, it's trouble, alright, but not any more than we're used to," Vivi said, unable to fight a smirk.

"THANKS A BUNCH, Scratchmen!" Soundbite chortled.

"Oh, please, call me Apoo. I look forward to your next broadcast, Cross!"

"So do I, Apoo, so do I. Don't get killed in the meantime!"

"APAPAPAPAPA! YOU'RE ONE TO TALK!" the long-armed pirate cackled. A moment later, the line disconnected.

"So, Cross… you know anything about this guy?" Zoro asked.

"Yeah, but not a lot," I shrugged as I scratched my chin thoughtfully. "The story didn't tell much about him before I came here. Besides what we already established in that call, all I know is that he has a Devil Fruit that lets him turn his body parts into instruments and create lethal sound waves from them. Probably something onomatopoeia-related, but really, no guarantees. I only got a brief glance over his and most of the powers of the rest of the pirates of his caliber."

"And what caliber is that, Cross?" Nami asked.

I shot a cheeky grin at her. "Now, now, Nami, you know better. That answer is fraught with spoilers!… Buuut, I can at least say with confidence that Luffy and Zoro are in that particular power-bracket."

Nami and Vivi's eyes shot wide in shock, while Zoro settled for grinning in malevolent eagerness.

"So…" Vivi started slowly. "You're basically saying that we just got an incredibly powerful ally, didn't we?"

"Pretty much, yeah." I bit my thumb in thought. "And maybe even two others of the same caliber, but that's not going to be for a good long while, of that I'm certain. Still, if we play this right, it's going to pay off big time in the long run."

Nami spread her hands with an exasperated sigh. "You and your long cons and high-stakes gambles. One day, you are going to go over the edge in a simply spectacular manner, I swear… Well!" Nami grinned fiercely as she slammed her fist into her palm. "If that's everything, I'm going to head back to the party. That snake has a stupid high tolerance, but I'm pretty sure I'm making progress!"

"Yeah, yeah, sure, go ahead, we're done here," I waved her off.

"Puru puru puru puru!"

"Or not," I continued smoothly.

"I'm warning you, if it's that Apoo guy again, I'm going to dislocate his joints when we meet him in person," Nami warned me.

"Ah… wait, hang on a second, I noticed something when I was toying with the Transceiver earlier…" I drew the metal box out of my bag.

"TOUCH THAT foghorn AND DIE."

"Yeah, yeah, hang on…" I glided my fingers over the available buttons before pressing what I hoped was the right one. The display promptly showed a series of digits, and I grinned at the fact that they were familiar. "Jackpot!" I took the mic out of its cradle before adopting a grave expression. "Saint Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. Do you have an appointment?"

"Um, pardon? My apologies, I seem to have the wrong number—" came a wheezy voice, the sound of which prompted me to pump my fist victoriously.

"You don't, that's just a thing he does," Smoker said tiredly. "Here I was going to say that I'd have to be more careful about asking you to make a meaningful broadcast, Cross, but I can only assume you're doing alright despite all of that lightning if you're cracking jokes."

"For a certain measure of 'alright,' anyway." I swear my wounds were sentient, if the way they flared up at that moment was anything to go by. "I'm a bit deep-fried, but… well, I'll live, even if I'm going to be bandaged up and jumping at storms for awhile. So, I take it that the recruitment went well?"

"Yes, and all thanks to you, Cross," Tashigi said, smiling. "It's because of how you stuck to your beliefs against that lightning bastard that our new name is MI4, and we've got a few hundred more soldiers for our cause!"

Silence greeted that statement, during which Zoro, Soundbite, and I all turned with identical smug grins towards a flat-footed Nami, who promptly began stammering. "She… but… you… I… oh, for the love of…" She sighed angrily. "Alright, fine. FINE! STANDING UP TO ENERU WAS COMPLETELY BADASS, NOT STUPID! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!"

"Very," Soundbite and I said smugly before I turned back to the mic. "Thank you, Tashigi, you just helped me prove Nami wrong about something important."

"Uh… you're welcome?" she said uncertainly before Soundbite's expression shifted back to Smoker's grimace.

"She's not the only one you've proved wrong, Cross. Would you mind repeating your accusation from last night for Captain T-Bone?"

"Last night? You called LAST NIGHT?" Soundbite asked.

"You somehow slept through it, Soundbite," I said with a shrug. "They just told me that they were going after their first recruit for another leader—T-Bone—and I gave them some recommendations for Vice-Admirals to try after that. Hina, meanwhile, presented one that I had to turn down: Vice Admiral Vergo. From the day he joined the Marines, he's been a deep-cover plant for Donquixote Doflamingo of the Seven Warlords."

Silence greeted this declaration before the wheezy voice spoke again, filled with hate. "That wretched bastard… I thought that he was merely a fanatic! But he's truly a pirate? And under the service of that man, of all people…"

"Um…?"

"Let's just say that Vergo played a key part in a disaster in Captain T-Bone's past," Smoker said. "Hina was devastated when she got proof that you were telling the truth; it's the only reason she's not on this call."

"Mister Cross, you have shown a great deal of knowledge of things that you should not know. I have sworn to take Vergo's head myself, and your revelation has only reinforced my determination. What can you tell me about him that would be beneficial for me to know?"

I processed this new development and immediately saw a problem in the form of the last survivor of Flevance. True, his main grudge was against Doflamingo, but did that mean I was going to run the risk of an ally drawing his ire for stealing the life of someone else that he wanted to kill? Not remotely. I frowned in thought as I considered that particular arc, and then the answer came to me. An answer that would prove to make things much more helpful for us in the long run. Wow, today was turning out beautifully.

"Alright, listen carefully: you're not the only one after Vergo's head," I said carefully. "And the other person who wants it? Not only are they stronger than you, but I can say with absolute confidence that their grievance is a lot worse than yours. That person is also a potential ally, so when crunch-time comes, we're going to have to defer to him on this matter, though I think he'll be amenable to sharing in this case. Still, the situation is very delicate, so I'm going to tell you what I think is the best course of action for you to follow, alright?"

There was a tense silence for a few moments before T-Bone spoke. "I'm listening," he rasped.

"Alright, you're going to want to write this down, because it's not going to make sense anytime soon. Should the worst come to pass and the worst-case candidate for Sengoku's successor is appointed… go to the changed battleground and create a base in the fire. Stay hidden, and wait for us; when we come to you, you'll have your revenge."

"And if Sakazuki is not appointed?"

"…yeah, that was the obvious conclusion to draw, wasn't it?" I chuckled sheepishly. "Alright, fine, I'll stow the cryptic bullshit for a bit. That's just a timekeeping measure anyway. All you need to do is go to the battlefield where he and Aokiji fight and hide in the side that's always engulfed in flames. Believe me, no one will ever look for you there, it's the perfect hiding spot! Provided you deal with the guard dog there, but still."

"…Commodore Smoker, I was under the impression that he was impossibly well-informed, not clairvoyant," T-Bone said dryly.

"So were we, but that explains a lot," Tashigi's voice said.

"Hey, do you think I would have willingly gotten fried if I'd seen this shit coming!?" I demanded.

"Weell…" Vivi trailed off uncomfortably.

"You did keep talking like an idiot," Nami reasoned.

"OH, COME ON!" I cried out.

"As amusing as this is, Cross, are you clairvoyant?" Smoker asked seriously.

"…" I was silent for a few seconds before grinning widely. "It involves a serialized manga, a random omnipotent deity—!"

"Okay, I've heard enough, good night, Cross!" Tashigi cut in.

"Just a moment—KA-LICK!" T-Bone attempted to speak up, only for the connection to drop like a hot potato.

"Quick thinking, Cross," Vivi whistled.

"Thank you very much," I said smugly. "A wise man once said that the truth is often hardest to believe, and quite frankly, I'd say that everything we've experienced since coming to the Grand Line vindicates that statement perfectly, wouldn't you?"

"UNDERSTATEMENT of the TIMES!" Soundbite concurred.

"If you're done," Nami drawled, leering at me and tapping her foot. "While I can't deny that those two calls were both productive, can I get back to getting my gold now?!"

I gave her a decidedly flat look. "Your ancient, snake bile-covered, literally ripped-from-the-hands-of-dead-men gold."

"YES!"

I rolled my eyes and did a quick mental check to be sure I wouldn't have to call her back for anything else. But as I did so, another idea came to mind.

"Actually, before you get back to that, go talk to Pagaya, see if he can slim your Waver down so it's portable before we set off tomorrow."

Nami's impatient glare turned into a quizzical look. "Portable? Why?"

I shrugged. "From what I saw, you pretty much never used it again after we left Skypiea; I was thinking that if you could carry it around with you, you'd get a lot more use out of it."

Nami looked thoughtful at that. "Huh, when you put it that way… well, I did like riding it… alright, I'll ask Pagaya what he can do." Her gaze sharpened intently. "Anything else?" she demanded with a visible overtone of menace.

"No, that's it for now."

"Perfect!" And with that, the navigator dashed back to the party, snatching up a stray mug of something no-doubt liver-failure-inducing en route to Nola.

"Well," Vivi groaned slightly as she stretched her arms out. "I need to get back, too." She frowned contemplatively. "I was planning on talking to Conis when you called me over. I'm a bit worried, it looked like she was talking to her dad about something serious…"

I shrugged helplessly. "No help here. Her role in events has been way different from what I remember."

The princess sighed despondently. "Oh, well. I'll see what I can do on my own."

She too walked away, and I looked at Zoro. "…Don't expect me to say this again anytime soon, but thanks for all of that training, Zoro; I wouldn't have been able to stand up to Eneru as much as I did without it."

Zoro cracked a grin. "Glad you finally came around, Cross." His grin faded. "But there's not much chance of me keeping it up anymore with your arms and legs wrecked."

"Psh, what, these?" I held my arms up dismissively. "Please. Your chest is a worse trainwreck than these things. I'll be back and better than ever so long as you keep putting the screws to me like there's no tomorrow!" I kept my grin up for a second or two before gaping in abject horror as I processed my last sentence. "What the fuck just came out of my mouth?"

"YOU HEARD HIM, NO TAKE-BACKSIES!" Soundbite stated eagerly.

Zoro glanced at Soundbite for a bare moment before grinning like a fucking demon. "Whatever you say, 'Cross'! Well, see you later!" And with that, he started to return to the party…

"Did I hear someone trying to circumvent DOCTOR'S ORDERS?!"

Before he broke into a full-blown sprint as he was chased by a psychotic reindeer… and me, to boot!

"YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW, SIX-SWORD STYLE! YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THAT I DIDN'T SAY THAT! YOU KNOW IT!"

Bottomless booze, over-the-top antics, former enemies coming together, and at least one crewmate trying to rip another limb from limb.

Just another typical victory celebration for the Straw Hat Pirates.

-o-

"Hey, I found a necklace over here! Ah, gross, but it's around a dead guy's neck!"

"Well, what are you waiting for?! Rip it off!"

"What!? Nami, that is beyond disrespectful, and—!"

"I SAID RIP IT OFF, LEO!"

"Y-yes, ma'am!" CL-CLUNK! "AGH! I-IT'S GOT ME! IT'S ALIVE! THE SKELETON IS ALIVE!"

"Look alive, Leo, look alive! You must be strong! For after all, to delve into the belly of a great beast, and to fight the living dead… do these two dreams combined not qualify… as a great Man's Romance?"

"GO, BOSS, GO!"

"STOP CHEERING HIM ON AND GET THIS THING OFF OF ME!

"LESS WHINING, MORE GOLD-GETTING!"

"Hell hath no fury like a GREEDY Nami," Soundbite declared sagely.

"Indeed, Soundbite, indeed," I nodded solemnly. "The only option is to work as hard as possible, so as to avoid incurring her wrath."

"YOU'WE NOT WORKING AT AWW, JACKASH!"

"I have a perfectly valid excuse not to be spelunking with you guys in the form of my limbs and Chopper's subsequent orders. And besides, in case you haven't noticed, I am working." I raised a thumbs-up at Nola's slack-jawed and dead-to-the-world form. "I'm giving you all moral support. Go team, woo."

"…You'we fweaking lucky that I can't awgue with the fiwst pawt, Cwoss," Carue growled.

"Damn straight. Now, then…" I thumbed through my book. "Where was I…"

"Wassafwassin—what the—? WAAAAAAAAGH!"

"GIANT SPIDERS! GIANT SPIDERS!"

"DOES EVERYTHING GROW BIG UP HERE, DAMN IT!?"

"Ah, now I remember!" I grinned victoriously as I tapped the appropriate line. "Gulliver waking up in Lilliput. Thanks, guys!"

"SCREW YOU, CROSS!"

I snickered as I settled in on the crew's luggage and got back to reading my book. After the party had wound down and we'd all gotten a good night's rest, Nami and Luffy had woken us all up in order to mine Nola's guts for gold. Thankfully, I had a very final doctor's note on my side, so I didn't need to get closer to the insides of an animal than I'd ever wanted to be… again. Laboon was an exception… and it didn't necessarily feel like an earthquake when he moved.

I was just starting to get into the page when I was interrupted.

"Cross, we need TO TALK."

I looked up from my book at the snail on my shoulder, ready to give him the stinkeye until I caught sight of the determined expression he was wearing. "What is it, Soundbite?" I asked, putting my book down.

Soundbite ground his teeth for a second as he appeared to work up the courage to say whatever it was he wanted to say. Finally, he heaved a heavy sigh and bowed his head. "…I WANT to know EVERYTHING you can tell me ABOUT DEVIL FRUITS." He looked up, a fire blazing in his eyes the likes of which I hadn't seen in anyone other than the most dedicated members of the crew. "TELL ME ANYTHING that can help me get stronger."

I blinked at the snail in confusion, and he apparently picked up on my bemusement of if the way he snarled viciously was anything to go by.

"DAMMIT, CROSS, we're SUPPOSED TO BE PARTNERS!" he snapped. "YOU DO what I can't, and I DO WHAT YOU CAN'T! But I couldn't do anything to stop ENERU from zapping YOU WITHIN AN INCH OF YOUR LIFE, AND THAT'S NOT RIGHT! And you say there's worse COMING down the way!? HELL NO! I NEED TO GET STRONGER, ASAP! And by 'possible', I MEAN RIGHT NOW, DAMN IT!"

I stared at Soundbite in flat-footed shock. "Wh… What brought this on? You didn't feel like this back when I had cholera, or after the rebellion—"

"THOSE WERE OUT OF MY CONTROL! I can't fight bacteria WITH JUST SOUND, AND I WAS DOING everything that I could to get rid of that FLOUR! BUT THIS TIME IT WAS SOMEONE DEFEATABLE! You literally got scarred for life on HALF OF YOUR BODY because I couldn't stop it."

The snail glared at me, his teeth grit and his expression more serious and determined than anything I'd ever seen on him up to that point. "NEVER AGAIN. And before you say diddly, I GOT Luffy's PERMISSION to hear any spoilers necessary as long as I don't tell anyone else. AND FOR ONCE, I'M WILLING TO KEEP MY TRAP SHUT! So, I'll ask again… Do you know anything that can help me?"

For a minute, I just stared at the snail, taken aback by just how personally he'd taken this. And worse yet, for the life of me, I didn't know what to tell him. I mean, he was using an entirely original Devil Fruit, and a Paramecia at that! That he'd gotten so strong was phenomenal, but the only other way I knew of for that kind of Devil Fruit to get stronger was time and ingenuity. After all, it's not like the Warlords became all-powerful in a ni—waiiiit a minute…

Alright, so maybe I had something. It was only an inkling, a shadow of a thought more than anything, but Soundbite caught sight of it, and as per usual, he didn't let go. "I SAW THAT! WHAT, what did you think of?"

I bit my lip uncomfortably before slowly shaking my head. "I… think I might know of one thing, Soundbite, but… well, it was only ever barely touched on in the story, and Oda never really gave any real details—"

"WE'RE IN THE fucking story! TELL ME! I'LL FIGURE SOMETHING OUT!" the snail barked.

"Alright, alright!" I said, snapping my hands up in surrender. "I'm already in pieces as it is, ripping my head off won't help matters. Anyway…" I ran my fingers through my hair. "It's… one of the last things I saw from the manga was a concept called 'Awakened Devil Fruits.' The only Paramecia version the story showed was right at the end of the part I read, Doflamingo's String-String Fruit. Like most Paramecia, it sounds weak, but it's quite formidable: the standard powers let him create strings that were tough enough to cut someone's arms or legs off. He could also use it to control others like marionettes, and even create a full-body clone out of string. The Awakened ability, however…"

I bit my thumb thoughtfully. "It was only shown for a few pages, but… it was something else entirely. He… said that it allowed him to affect his surroundings, I think. Somehow, he turned the rubble and buildings around him into strings, and then he controlled them with just as much finesse as his own strings, if not more so."

Soundbite's eyes widened in shock. "Whoa…" He narrowed his eyes as he pegged onto something. "YOU SAID 'Paramecia version'?"

I shrugged slightly. "Yeah, that's something that complicates matters even further. See, the story showed a few Awakened Zoans long before Doflamingo showed what he could do, but they were totally different from him. They're known as the Jailer Beasts of Impel Down. Like Chopper, they're animal-person hybrids…" I frowned in thought. "But they're also a million times tougher than any other Zoan shown in the series. One of them managed to take a headfirst beating from Luffy and barely even flinched. But the weirdest thing was that they seemed a lot more…" I waved my hand helplessly. "Well, animal than human; they didn't talk, they seemed pretty stupid… unless I miss my guess, I think their minds might have been consumed by their own Devil Fruits."

Soundbite swallowed nervously. "Seriously?"

"Maybe?" I spread my hands helplessly. "And honestly, I don't think they're the only Awakened Zoans I've seen either. Remember how I told Luffy that Chopper had eight forms instead of seven?"

"And you said NUMBER 8 was a total monster. WHY DO I NOT LIKE WHERE THIS IS HEADED?"

"Exactly. Unless I miss my guess, Chopper somehow managed to stumble onto a nascent version of his Awakened form, where his powers take over for his higher thought processes. Only unlike the Jailer Beasts, it's apparently temporary, and he doesn't even have enough mind left to follow orders when he does it."

Soundbite nodded, though he was frowning heavily. "That's interesting, but I think that we're getting off-topic. HOW DOES ANY OF THAT APPLY TO ME?"

"I… ugh, look, Soundbite, I don't know, okay?" I sighed despondently. "I only ever saw one usage of Awakening applied to one Paramecia Devil Fruit, and that was only for a few moments! I don't know how to manifest it, or even how it would apply to you! Would it be useful? Most likely! But you wanted whatever I could offer you, and I'm afraid that that's all I've got; I'm not a Devil Fruit user. I'd recommend talking to Luffy and Robin… and maybe Lassoo, Chopper, and Pierre if you want any more advice. In the end, well…" I held my bandaged hand up for him to see. "I think I've sufficiently proven that I don't know everything, right?"

Soundbite chewed on his lip for a second before nodding. "I… I need time to THINK." And with that, he retreated into his shell.

I watched him in concern for a moment before shrugging off the new development, ultimately turning my attention back to Gulliver's Travels

"Um, Cross?"

Or at least I tried to turn my attention back, anyways.

I snapped the novel shut with an annoyed growl. "The world is never going to let me take reading up again, is it?" I demanded acridly.

Conis flinched self-consciously. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you—!"

"No no, it's fine, it's fine!" I hastily waved a hand placatingly, pinching the bridge of my nose as I did so. "Sorry, sorry, it's just… I used to read a lot. I enjoy the adventuring, but it's hard to be blocked so many times, you know?"

"Eh…" Conis waved her hand side-to-side. "Maybe? I can only imagine how I'd react if I couldn't play my harp anymore. I really can wait, if you want me to."

I sighed and put my book to the side. "Nah, go ahead and ask, I can get back to this when we're done."

Conis hesitated a moment longer before nodding. "I… I wanted to ask you more about the Blue Seas."

I goggled at her in surprise. "Eh? Seriously? What brought this on?"

Conis shrugged and rubbed her arm uncomfortably. "It was… your speech to Go—" She flinched before scowling darkly. "I mean, to Eneru, talking about how this island is just a small part of the world, and he was nothing special and, well… I've been thinking about it a lot."

I sat up, giving her my full attention. "Seriously?"

The angel beamed eagerly. "Of course! You said that compared to the Blue Seas, the White Seas are a puddle and that there are so many fantastically strong people out there. I have to know, is it really as glorious as you described it to be?"

It took me a second to process this turn of events, but once I did…

I plastered a massive grin on my face. "Oh, you have absolutely no idea! The Grand Line, it's…" I chuckled eagerly as I ordered my thoughts. "It's just absolutely fantastic. There are a million and one possibilities in this world, and down there, it's—it's like they all happen at once!"

"Wow…" Conis gasped eagerly. "What kind of possibilities?"

I gazed into the distance wistfully. "Geeze, where to even start? Every day is brand-spanking-new, bringing completely unique challenges, opportunities, and experiences. Like, the very first day we got into the Grand Line there was a storm—ah…" I hesitated as a thought occurred to me. "Do you guys actually get storms all the way up here?"

Conis crossed her arms and gave me a flat look. "Cross, we Skypieans might not know a lot of the Blue Seas, but even we know just how mad the Grand Line's storms can be."

"Right, right, sorry." I scratched my head sheepishly. "Anyways, on our first day, we experienced a stupidly massive storm that wouldn't be out of place in the Old Testament, waves more insane than the maddest of Milky Roads, a heatwave so hot it set our sails on fire, hail the size of golfballs, giant manta rays that literally flew, currents that spun us around before we even noticed…"

"Wow…" The angel clasped her hands in awe. "And all that happened in a day?"

"HA!" I barked enthusiastically. "A day? That all happened in two hours, absolute maximum! And sure, that was easily the wildest part of the ocean we've had to deal with so far, but it's not like the rest of our days have been any saner!"

"Two hours?" Conis breathed in amazement. "That's… I barely even know what to say!"

"And that's just the ocean! Lemme tell you about the islands! Weeeeell, we've been to Whiskey Peak, Little Garden, Drum Isl—GAH!" I hastily dope-slapped Soundbite's shell, breaking off the jaunty guitar music that had started picking up. "No musical numbers, damn it!"

"Fine, fine, back to INTROSPECTION… spoilsport."

I grunted and rolled my eyes before being brought back to the present by Conis's starstruck look. "Just the names of those islands sound incredible! What were they like?"

I was a bit taken aback by her enthusiasm at first, but after considering my own experiences with the exhilaration of the Grand Line… "Alright," I tented my fingers eagerly. "Let's start with Whiskey Peak…"

I all but forgot about reading as I spent the next hour or so retelling our adventures to Conis with all the zeal of a devoted One Piece fan, with Soundbite adding in a few voice clips here and there to enhance the experience. And Conis took in every word with all the wide-eyed wonder of a new fan that had just discovered how incredible Goda's world was.

All too soon, though, I found myself to be winding down.

"And then, he just shredded it." I slapped my hand in my palm firmly. "I mean he just stood up and blew Octavio's performance straight out of the water. I have no idea how he could have possibly done it, but somehow he just plain did. It was just about the most stunning thing I'd ever seen!"

"Luffy surfing…" Conis breathed in wonder. "I can't even begin to imagine what such a thing would look like!"

"Heh, yeah, tell me about—"

THWUMP!

"YEOW!"

The conversation then came to an abrupt end as a very big, very lumpy, and very hard bag was tossed onto me.

"Enjoying yourself?" Zoro asked blandly

"Sonnuva—OW!" I yelped as I shoved the bag of gold off, sending a dark glare at the swordsman. "Watch it, bastard! I'm still milking the injury card here!"

Zoro grinned in a thoroughly shark-like manner. "Well, if you're really in pain, I'm sure that Chopper can fix that all up with a quick shot. Want me to go and get him?"

I felt the blood drain from my face. "So many colors and none of them would listen…" I hissed fearfully.

"CALLBACK!" Soundbite giggled.

"Alright, alright, I'll clam it!" I swore hastily.

"Good." The swordsman jerked his thumb over his shoulder, indicating where the rest of the crew was making their way out of Nola's maw. "Then get up and help us carry the gold to the Merry."

I got up with a sigh and started to comply, before pausing as I considered things. "Waaait, why does this all seem familiar…"

"Hey, I can see Robin!" Usopp called out.

"Oh, now I remember," I deadpanned. "Hey, Zoro? Pay attention, because I'm about to give you the best chance you'll ever have to get rid of your debt to Nami."

"What the heck are you—?" Zoro started to ask.

"AAAAH! THEY'VE GOT A HUGE CANNON!"

Vivi took one look at the massive parcel the Skypieans were carrying and our swiftly panicking crewmates before slapping a hand to her face with a groan. "Oh, Horus…"

"What the—?" Zoro glanced at her in confusion before shaking his head and apparently dismissing it until later. "Cross, grab the bag and let's—Cross?" Zoro asked, seeing that I had not moved from where I was and was giving him a look flatter than the average Self-Insert's personality.

It took Zoro all of three seconds to piece things together. Once he did, he sat down with a sigh and popped the top off of the sake jar he was holding. "How long do you think it's going to take them to figure it out?"

"I give them ten feet before they notice we're not running with them," I announced blandly. "By the by, does anyone have something to eat? I'm feeling a bit peckish."

"Here," Vivi tossed me some jerky as she sat down, which I eagerly tore into. "And five's much more likely. You're forgetting what you're sitting on."

"Uh…" Conis looked between the three of us in confusion. "What are you—?"

"CROSS!"

I bit back my go-to excuse of being injured as Nami grabbed my collar. The deranged look in her eyes more than told me that she did not care. It would appear that I needed to use a bit more force for this…

"PICK UP MY GOLD AND START RUNNING ALREADY!" the demented navigator snarled.

"Never underestimate the bond between a Nami and her wealth," Zoro deadpanned.

"YOU TOO, OR I SWEAR I'LL—"

BWAAAAAAAAAH!

"AGH!" Nami grabbed her ears in agony… and so did Conis, Zoro, and Vivi… and the rest of the crew, to boot. Foghorns are, after all, loud.

"JACKASS!" Soundbite yowled.

"Heheh," I snickered as I slid my earphones off. "I am loving this thing."

"Cross…" Nami started to grit out viciously, but I held up a hand, re-donning my flat look from before.

"Nami, let's consider a few facts here, shall we? We ended a 400-year war. We freed them from six years of tyranny. And we threw them the best party they've ever had. So, what makes you think that they have any reason to want to attack us instead of rewarding us?"

"BECAUSE WE'RE STEALING THEIR GOLD!" Nami screamed.

"Nami?" Vivi held up a finger. "A few things. A: Gold isn't worth much up here in the sky. Actually, it's worth nothing, period. B: We got that gold from inside of a giant snake's stomach, where in all likelihood it never would have seen the light of day again anyway. And C: How the hell would they know that we were taking the gold?"

Nami's expression fell flat as she pointed to the side.

"HEY, ROBIN, CHECK OUT ALL THE GOLD WE FOUND!" Luffy cheered loudly.

"Withdrawn," Vivi conceded calmly. "But my first two points still count."

"Let me just point this out," Zoro added. "You're actually prepared to believe that they had a weapon like that stored away here, and nobody ever decided to use it? Seriously, I wouldn't expect anyone on our crew but Luffy to be that stupid."

"DID YOU JUST CALL ME STUPID?!" Nami roared.

"If he didn't, he should, Nami; you're so focused on the chump change you got from Nola that you're overlooking the fact that I'm fulfilling the promise I made you," I said calmly, examining the bandages on my hands in lieu of my fingernails.

"WHAT PROMISE, CROSS?" Nami shrieked, just about ready to explode.

"The one I made the night Chopper joined."

Nami frowned for a minute longer before her eyes widened. She opened her mouth to speak… and then her jaw continued dropping as the gears turned in her head. She slowly turned to stare at the approaching, cloth-covered mass, putting the pieces together.

"Wait…" Nami breathed as she eyed the stupidly huge parcel the Skypieans and Shandorans were carrying. "Then you mean…"

"Uh-huh."

Nami's eyes started to unfocus and stare off into the distance. "Then they're giving us…"

"Uh-huh."

A line of drool slowly started to trail out of the corner of her mouth. "And that's all pure…"

"Through and through, as far as I know," I nodded in confirmation before pausing contemplatively. "Honestly? I think there's a ten-to-one chance that we'll tank the economy of whatever island we land on next if we're not careful, so—MMPH!?" I was cut off by Nami grabbing my head and…

Honestly, I'm not sure what happened for the next two minutes and thirteen seconds. The next thing I knew, she'd dropped me and sprinted towards the Sky-dwellers, leaving me to try and get my brain back in order. The first thing I noticed was that Sanji was… not taking whatever the hell had happened well. But I only noticed that for about two seconds before he looked about ready to pass out from joy for some reason or other.

"Dude, did I see you get some tongue?" Mikey whispered in awe.

Raphey shook her head slowly. "I don't know about this loser, but Robin's certainly getting some action!"

I turned my head to look at what the rest of the crew was gaping at, and my jaw dropped too.

"Ooooh myyyy…" Soundbite drawled in a deep Asian voice.

"Right there with you, Soundbite," Vivi said weakly.

"Damn straight…" I finally managed to get out.

Well, at least I was now positive that Nami didn't have any actual romantic inclinations towards me. After all, I don't know what she did with me, but I sure as hell know that she didn't go so far as dipping me.

"This is incredible," Sanji said breathily. Then he sped over to me and started to dig through my bag. "I MUST IMMORTALIZE THIS—!"

SLAM!

"Angels… I'm surrounded by angels…" Sanji whispered.

Conis winced sympathetically as she eyed the goose-egg growing on the cook's skull, nervously fiddling with the hammer she'd grabbed from Usopp's toolbelt. "Oooh… I'm sorry, I don't know what happened, I just—!"

"No, no, it's fine," Vivi waved her off casually. Her gaze then turned vicious. "And if anyone else tries using a Vision Dial—"

"You're going to want to take a look at the Skypieans," Donny said dryly.

The princess gaped in shock as she took in the number of lights flashing in the crowd. "What the—does she have any idea what she's even doing!?"

"Vivi, two wowds: Copy. Wight," Carue stated neutrally.

Vivi processed that, and sighed in long-suffering exasperation, burying her face in her hands. "…that woman is obsessed."

"You're only just figuring that out?!" demanded many of the crew, even Luffy.

"…Um… w-wow, that's, ah… i-if you'll excuse me…" Conis stammered out before turning around and running away as fast as her legs could move her…

THUNK!

"Ah, sorry, Cross!"

Though not before hitting me head-on in her haste.

"Watch it!" I groused as I rubbed the side of my body she'd hit. It was the side with my bag, to boot, so I really felt it. Nevertheless, I watched her curiously as she ran off. "Wonder where she's off to in such a hurry…"

"Probably just trying to get as far away from our crew's craziness as possible," Boss said dryly before eyeing the pillar. "Anyway, while said insanity is distracting as all get out… does this mean that that thing is gold?"

Nami inadvertently answered the question when she dropped Robin and singlehandedly ripped the cloth wrapping from the pillar and—

It took me a second to properly come to my senses, and when I did, I blinked up at the sky in confusion.

Why the heck was I lying on the—?

"—EEEEEEEEE!"

Oh, of course, that's why fucking hell my ears!

"Ooooowwww…" Luffy moaned piteously.

"Just throw me in the sea, no fate is crueler than this!" Lassoo whined as he clamped his paws over his ears.

"I think I HAVE a new attack…" Soundbite bemoaned as his eyes spun about dizzily. "ALSO TINNITUS… and maybe a little INFERIORITY COMPLEX."

"Well, it's not like it'll come to anything," I ground out. "The only thing I can think of that would make Nami scream that loud again is—"

"Cross," Luffy warned.

"Is when we find the One Piece, assuming that it's as incredible as it's built up to be, but as you know, I don't know the details," I finished in a deadpan, and Luffy nodded.

"Moving past Nami's painful euphoria… you saw this coming. Would you care to tell us why we still had to go treasure hunting in that giant snake?" Zoro demanded.

'FIVE HUNDRED MILLION! I'LL BUY HER FOR FIVE HUNDRED MILLION!'

I shuddered with a grimace at the nightmarish voice that echoed in my head. "Because it's better to have the emergency fund ready and not need it than need it but not have it," I replied grimly, before going right back to cheerful. "But we'll get to that later; for now, I'm going to test just how money-high Nami is. HEY, NAMI! CAN I HAVE A FEW TANGERINES FROM YOUR TREES TO FEED TO THE FISH?"

The rest of the crew, Zoro and Soundbite included, froze and paled.

"HELP YOURSELF, CROSS!" she called back cheerfully.

I smirked smugly at the gobsmacked looks of my crew. That lasted for a few seconds before Chopper got past the shock and followed my example, waving his arms eagerly. "HEY, NAMI! CAN I HAVE A FEW…" Chopper trailed off slightly as he mumbled a few calculations under his breath before resuming. "MILLION BERIS IN AN EXPENSE ACCOUNT TO FUND MY EXPERIMENTS?"

"GLADLY, CHOPPER!"

Boss hesitated slightly before glancing back at his students. "If I die, donate my body to science, so that they might discover the source of my manliness." He then cupped his mouth and hollered at Nami. "HEY, NAMI! MIND IF I HAVE A FEW MILLION TO BUY EXERCISE EQUIPMENT?"

"ALL YOURS, BOSS!"

The dugong pumped his fist in the air victoriously to the raucous cheering of his disciples.

Usopp was, ironically enough, the next to build up the necessary courage. "HEY, NAMI! I'M TAKING THE BAG OF GOLD I GOT FROM THE SNAKE AS PAYMENT FOR BUILDING YOUR CLIMA-TACT!"

"GO AHEAD, USOPP!"

"… Wow, she really is happy," Usopp mused. He then glanced at Soundbite uneasily. "You, ah, don't hear the oncoming hoofbeats of the Four Horsemen by any chance, do you?"

"HEY, NAMI, HOW ABOUT FORGIVING MY DEBT TO YOU?!" Zoro called with a smirk.

"BURN IN HELL, SEAWEED BRAIN!" Nami called back with just as much cheer as before.

"Ah, never mind, false alarm," Usopp said in relief, while Zoro glared at me.

"Well, Option A is gone, but you'll get another chance before we leave," I said. The swordsman crossed his arms, but nodded. With that aside, I left the rest of the crew to their bargaining while I walked over to Robin, who had stepped a large distance away from the pillar and Nami and was calmly writing in a notebook, though she was still blushing… and chewing on something?

"Huh. I was wondering where my jerky went," I commented.

It wasn't liquid, but damn if that wasn't the closest thing to seeing Nico Robin do a spit-take I'd ever get, and it sent me into gales of laughter.

"OK, OK, I should have warned you about that," I giggled semi-apologetically, once I got my laughing under control and registered the glare she had leveled at me. "But in my defense, I didn't see that one coming."

Robin kept her stinkeye up for a moment before dropping it with a sigh. "I would assume not, considering your own reaction to our navigator's lust for wealth going out of control." She spared said navigator a glance, taking in the fact that she was kiss—no, that was tongue—frenching the pillar. "…I must admit, I still thought you were exaggerating about… this."

"Robin? The mere idea of having this much gold was enough to make her orgasm. Mark my words, she'll be bathing buck naked in a tub full of treasure before the day is over."

Robin stared at our navigator before slowly looking back at me. "…It's quite disturbing that I don't doubt that in the least," she said, before turning her attention back to her notebook. Looking at it, I saw the symbols of the Poneglyphs within.

I smiled as I analyzed the alien arrangements of shapes and lines. It was kind of like staring at more intricate versions of AR codes from back home, really. "So, Robin… was I right? Was the hard and perilous journey worth the reward you found?"

The archaeologist promptly tensed in a way that I could only assume was her preparing to snap her notebook shut, before she slowly allowed herself to relax, loosening her vice-like grip on the book. "Yes," she whispered, though I couldn't be sure whether she was actually conscious of what she was saying. "Yes, it was."

I smiled and gripped her arm reassuringly. Then, on a whim, I leaned down so that I could examine the symbols over her shoulder. "So, think you could tell me a bit about it? I know the gist, I'll admit, but I'm curious about the exact—"

"Roger…"

"Eh?" I glanced up at Soundbite in confusion. "What are you—?"

"Roger… and POSEIDON."

I was vaguely aware of blood seeping into my bandages where my clenched fingers had broken the skin on Robin's shoulder. Neither of us actually reacted, however, on account of how we were too busy goggling at Soundbite in… well, it was a whole mess of emotions, really.

The snail, for his part, was entirely oblivious, staring at the page with a cocked eyestalk.

"Poseidon… ain't that the GREEK GOD OF—WHEGH!?"

"SHHHHUT IT!" I ground out desperately as I grabbed his tongue, ignoring his attempts to bite my fingers off.

"Soundbite…" Robin croaked once she managed to get her voice working again. "How were you able to read what's written on this page?"

I reluctantly let the gastropod go, allowing him to hack and spit for a second before glaring at me. He then rolled his eyes before renewing his curious gaze at the book. "I didn't. Well… I don't THINK I did? THOSE WERE JUST THE NAMES I HEARD."

I felt as though a block of dry ice had been dropped into my stomach. "When you say heard…" I started slowly.

Soundbite shrugged inasmuch as he could. "DUNNO. Just… whispers? I GUESS? I'm hearing the names ROGER and Poseidon FROM THE BOOK AND SOMEWHERE IN THE DISTANCE." He tilted his head contemplatively. "Probably something about a PRINCESS, TOO, I THINK?" He jabbed his eyestalks in the direction the Skypieans had come from before frowning contemplatively and glancing back at Nola. "Also hearing something from the SNAKE, KINDA. CAN'T MAKE ANYTHING out, but it's weird. YA KNOW, 'CAUSE IT'S an amphibious Sea King AND NO ONE SPEAKS THAT."

It took all I had to keep myself from sinking to my knees in sheer shock. "Soundbite… YOU CAN—!" I barely cut myself off from yelling before continuing in a desperate whisper. "You can hear the Voice of All motherfucking Things?!"

"The what?" both he and Robin asked, both of them making the decision to keep their voices down. Somehow, I managed to organize my thoughts enough to put out a decent summary.

"I don't know many details, but it's one of the most dangerous powers in existence. I mean, Gol D. Roger had it, and it let him do things in moments that took you years to learn! He couldn't read the Poneglyphs, but apparently, he could heartheir meaning!" I jabbed a finger at Nola. "Just like how he unwittingly heard the voices of Sea Kings en route to Fishman Island!"

Both Soundbite and Robin clearly comprehended the implications of what I was saying, and meanwhile, I was running a hand through my hair, trying to fathom this. "But I don't understand… with how freaking rare the power is, I wouldn't expect any Transponder Snail to have it—"

"HEY!" Soundbite barked indignantly.

"Soundbite," I growled back. "There are only two people I know of who ever had the ability to hear the Voice of All Things: the past Pirate King, and the future one! That's the magnitude I'm talking about for rarity!"

Soundbite quieted as that sunk in, while Robin focused more on another part of my statement, slowly turning to look in the direction of the rest of our crew. "Then… Luffy can…?"

"I severely doubt that he's unlocked it yet, but yes," I confirmed quietly, still trying to fathom exactly how Soundbite could possibly have an ability apparently reserved for the king of the world. I mean, what did he—?

"…holy crap, the Noise-Noise Fruit," I breathed in realization.

"Soundbite's powers?" Robin questioned in disbelief.

"Yeah!" I nodded in agreement, gaining vigor as I convinced myself of it. "I mean, think about it: he can hear everythingin his range, and his powers are already amped by his species. Assuming he was straining his powers a lot during all the shit that went down yesterday—!"

"YOU TRY listening for every crackle of lightning in this PLACE AND NOT BLEEDING FROM THE EARHOLES…" Soundbite groused.

"Then maybe it's possible that Soundbite pushed himself so hard that he made something just… I dunno, click? It could possibly also be so indistinct because he doesn't have Observation Haki ye—!" I suddenly chopped my hand at Soundbite, prompting him to snap back into his shell with a terrified shriek. "Yeah, he definitely doesn't have it yet."

"JERK!" Soundbite raged.

"Cross…" Robin warned me.

"Hey, what do you want me to say?" I shrugged helplessly. "This is something I know barely anything about, and what little I do is almost entirely guesswork and hearsay."

"I understand that better than anyone, Cross. That's not what I'm talking about," she ground out.

"Eh? Then what?"

"I am starting to lose feeling in my arm, and will call Sanji unless you release me in three, two—"

"MEEP!" I hastily unlatched my fingers from where I'd been digging them into her shoulder. "Sorry!"

Robin rolled her shoulder and flexed her fingers. "No, it's fine. I most likely would have done worse to you if I were in your shoes." She then proceeded to give Soundbite a cool look. "Now, while we can't exactly do much about or with Soundbite's newfound abilities for the moment, I trust you know as well as I do that we need to do something to contain this… new development."

"Way ahead of you," I waved her off before taking Soundbite off my shoulder and holding him in my palm in order to give him a serious look. "Alright, Soundbite, listen carefully: I've been lenient on you blurting out secrets in the past, and I'll admit that when it comes to serious stuff you tend to keep your mouth shut, but right here, right now? This is life and death. You cannot, cannot speak the name 'Poseidon' at all, no matter what, in any context whatsoever, understood?"

"HUH?" Soundbite leaned his head back in confusion. "But why!?"

"Poseidon is the name of one of three Ancient Weapons from the Blank Century eight hundred years ago," Robin explained solemnly. "Alongside Pluton, which Crocodile sought, and Uranus—"

"Laugh and I will eviscerate you," I solemnly promised the gastropod, wiping the nascent snicker from his face.

"Any one of these weapons is entirely capable of destroying or rearranging the world as we know it. The public reason why the World Government made researching Poneglyphs illegal is that some of them hold information as to the whereabouts of these weapons. It's not the whole reason…" Robin sighed despondently, a finger absentmindedly scratching at her chest. "But I can't in good conscience say it's not a valid one…"

I spared her a sympathetic wince before renewing my look at Soundbite. "If the World Government were to learn that you know even a shred of information about the Weapons from the Blank Century… suffice to say they'd rain hellfire down on us, and I am being one-hundred percent literal here."

"WHAT!?" Soundbite demanded. "BUT I BARELY KNOW SQUAT AND I'm not planning on using it any—oooohhhh…" The snail suddenly trailed off in an understanding tone. "They would not give a damn about ANY OF THAT, WOULD THEY?"

"Now you get it," I confirmed with a nod. "Now, look: if you breathe so much as a word of what you've learned to anyone besides us, you'll be irreversibly ruining a lot of lives. So, for the time being, you need to pretty much forget even hearing the name 'Poseidon'. Got it?"

Soundbite nodded with the utmost solemnity, and thankfully, I believed him.

"Alright, then…" I nodded absentmindedly as I placed him back on my shoulder.

"Cross, while we're on the subject… how much do you know about the Ancient Weapons?" Robin asked.

I hesitated slightly before answering, starting to tick off my fingers. "Uranus, I don't know anything about, though the name makes me think it's probably the strongest of the three, and given the naming themes, probably based upon the sky. Pluton, I have the vaguest suspicions as to what it is. And Poseidon…" I grimaced and shuddered miserably. "Not as much of the details as you, I'm sure, but I know that if anyone were to start investigating, Fishman Island would be razed."

Robin actually paled, a look of raw terror crossing her face. "It's been—!?"

"Yes, but it's almost completely under wraps, she has little to no clue how to activate it, and she's one of the most gentle and innocent individuals in the world," I hastily reassured her.

I suddenly found a phantom limb wrapped around my neck as Robin loomed over me. "Almost under wraps?" she repeated.

"O-one jackass outside of her family, just one!" I stammered out desperately as I tugged at the limb. "He's not sharing the intel, and he's incompetent enough that he'd be no threat without his Devil Fruit powers! He's been trying to achieve the same Catch-22 plot for years! Hell, he's the reason she's the most protected mermaid alive!"

Robin processed that slowly. Then, to my relief, the hand vanished. "Then I assume that for the time being, we should forget that this conversation ever happened?"

"My thoughts exactly," I agreed. She nodded, and a glance at Soundbite showed that he shared the understanding. Robin sighed.

"Well, so far, this has been the most emotional day I've had for the last several years… and you're enjoying it, aren't you?"

I grinned cheekily. "Who, me? Excited over how I've managed to break your Ice Queen facade like I'm armed with an icepick? Perish the thought. Now, come on," I waved forwards as I started walking towards where the rest of the crew was assembled around the pillar. "Let's get back to our friends; something serious must be going on if they didn't notice any of this."

"OH, it's serious, ALRIGHT! DIVIDING THE PLUNDER!" Soundbite crowed.

Robin watched me for a second before sighing and following along. "Well, if we must…" she cocked an eyebrow when I chuckled slightly. "What?"

I widened my grin eagerly. "You didn't redefine them as crewmates when I called them our friends."

The last glimpse I got of her face before she froze in place was a look of poleaxed realization, and it was glorious.

But alas, my attention then turned to the more conspicuous of the uncommon events occurring to us: our rubber-brained captain in a shouting match with our gold-tonguing navigator.

"COME ON, NAMI, WE'VE GOT ALL THAT GOLD, DON'T BE STINGY! THIS IS FRAUD, DAMN IT!" Luffy yelled.

"STINGY!? I'M LETTING THE CREW HAVE TEN PERCENT OF ALL THE GOLD WE'VE FOUND! THAT'S NOT STINGY, THAT'S GENEROUS BEYOND ALL BELIEF!" Nami snarled irately.

"I don't know what's scarier, the fact that I think she believes that or the fact that when it comes to her, it's actually true,"Donny muttered beneath his breath before hastily ducking under a kick from Sanji.

"THAT'S NOT EVEN ENOUGH FOR HALF OF MY MEAT SUPPLY! WE NEED AT LEAST EIGHTY PERCENT!"

"Ugh, you and that stupid appetite… FINE, TWELVE PERCENT!"

"NINETY PERCENT!"

"YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY, DUMBASS!"

"I'm just following your modus operandi!" Luffy retorted.

"Ah…" Nami paused. "Alright, fair enough…" Then she frowned in confusion. "Wait, modus—?"

"Anyways, maybe we can compromise with a hundred and five percent?"

"I WILL CUT YOU!" Nami snarled, brandishing a very familiar sword as she prepared to draw it.

"Wha—KITETSU?! GIVE ME BACK MY SWORD, WOMAN!" Zoro demanded.

"Are you really going to pretend that that hell-blade doesn't probably enjoy being wielded by people with her current state of mind?" I deadpanned.

"…withdrawn," Zoro conceded only semi-reluctantly.

"Alright! 200%, that's my final offer!" Luffy declared.

It was an unholy screech that was likely to wake Calgara himself that tore out of our navigator's throat, and she ripped the blade out of its sheath—

"DOUBLE FIVE SQUARED PERCENT!"

"DEAL!" Only for her to whoop and swing the blade around so that it was pointing at—

"Vivi!?" I and pretty much all of the crew minus a yet-euphoric Nami blurted in confusion.

"Put it there," the princess said, extending her hand with a winning smile.

"Heeheeheehee! Sucker!" Nami squealed ecstatically as she grabbed her friend's hand and shook it vigorously. "Now I have—!"

"Fifty percent of the gold, yes," Vivi confirmed calmly, her voice never changing inflection.

"—fifty—WHAT!?" Nami screamed in shock, letting go of Vivi's hand as though it were a live eel. "But-but-but that's not what you said, you said five per—!"

"No, I said double five squared percent," Vivi corrected, still entirely unfazed.

Nami promptly dropped Kitetsu the Third—which drew an angered "HEY!" from Zoro that she ignored—in favor of counting on her fingers and muttering under her breath in a manic tone. Without warning, she suddenly froze and sloooowly looked up, a thoroughly haunted look in her eyes.

"What just happened?" she whispered in horror.

"Oh, nothing much," Vivi said sweetly. "I just demonstrated exactly how good of a negotiator I can be. After all, if I can make you agree to a 50/50 split…"

She let it hang there, and I slowly began clapping, with Zoro and several others following my example.

"So, was that good, Vivi?" Luffy asked with a grin.

"You did very well, Luffy," Vivi smiled as she patted our captain's back. "You'll be getting a full five percent of that for your diet."

"WOO!" Luffy pumped his fists in the air. "That's four percent more than what I usually get!"

Nami whimpered unintelligibly. I can't be sure, but I think she might have had something of a stroke at that point. I wish I could have let the moment go on longer; it was funny in a twisted sort of way, but we had bigger things to worry about.

"Alright, as amusing as this is, I need to insist on ninety percent of what we get from the pillar being set aside for no—AGH!"

"Say that again, Cross, I dare you…" Nami snarled, hauling me a full three feet off the air by my collar. I swear, the World Government would have given her Robin's epithet in a heartbeat if they could see the look on her face. But nevertheless, I forced down my fear and forged on.

"N-Nami, t-this isn't for something that I want, it's for something that all of us NEED. Now, are you going to let me explain the exact gravity of the situation…" I started to trail my hand towards my bag. "Or do I need to break you out of your blood rage the hard way?"

"NO!" screamed… pretty much everyone else on the crew, and everyone else in earshot, to boot. Upon seeing that Nami was waiting for me to speak, I turned to our sniper.

"Usopp. Tell them what's at stake here," I said.

Usopp gulped as all attention—including Nami's rage—was directed at him. He glared at me for a few seconds, but then shook his head with a sigh. "I shouldn't be angry, I want to explain this myself…" he muttered to himself as his expression hardened. "Guys, you need to know this. Remember how the Merry was repaired back to its original state before the Survival Game started?"

Our crewmates looked between one another in confusion. "Uh, yeah?" Vivi finally nodded slowly in agreement. "We were all really impressed by how well you and Cross did, what about it?"

"Well, see, that's the thing…" Usopp bowed his head and cupped his chin solemnly. "The fact is… Cross didn't do a lot that night, and I wasn't a part of the repairs until midway through myself. Someone else repaired the Merry, and restored her to her original state."

"So, what, are you saying that we owe them money for that? Because I'm not giving—" Nami began angrily.

"Shut up, Nami," Usopp, Soundbite, and I cut her off frigidly, our tone of voice even going so far as to freeze Sanji, causing the navigator to let me go.

"OW!"

Alright, so maybe 'drop' was a more appropriate word.

"Look, Nami…" Usopp stated solemnly. "We don't owe the person who repaired the Merry anything except our utmost gratitude, because… because…" the sniper bit his lip in an effort to keep his emotions under control.

I sighed heavily as I stood up, arms crossed and head bowed. "It was the Merry," I revealed. "The Merry manifested a body and repaired herself." I promptly snapped a hand up. "And before anyone says anything, take the last 72 hours into account."

Everyone looked confused at first… then understanding… then contemplative… and finally, dumbfounded.

"…she actually manifested a Klabautermann, didn't she?" Sanji whispered in awe.

I nodded gravely. "It was the whole reason that I pulled that stunt with the ghost story: so that you all would dogpile me and give me a valid excuse to be onboard her that night. I hoped to feign not knowing she would manifest, and it worked." I grimaced, trying to keep a hold on my emotions. "I… I met her. I talked to her, I helped her. A-andtsk…" I snapped my teeth shut miserably.

Damn it, my voice broke. I pressed a hand to my forehead, trying to stay strong, but… but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't keep the memories of Merry's death out of my mind. Memories of wood splitting, of fires blazing… and that… well, if Oda himself couldn't keep from crying at that part, how was I supposed to when I was witnessing the lead-up to it first-freaking-hand?!

It was too much for me; I collapsed, sobbing just like I had the night I told them my secret. "…Even after everything I've tried… she's one step away from the point of no return. She's dying," I whispered.

The crew reacted as one. Some in defiance, some in horror… but the one constant that was present was pure, unabated shock.

"D-dying?" Chopper asked, tearing up.

"No way, that's not possible!" Luffy denied firmly. "The Merry's strong, she's great, she's—!"

"Still from the East Blue, Captain," Zoro finished solemnly.

"Zoro!" Vivi cut in in a scandalized tone.

"She was built for a normal ocean, Vivi," Nami croaked, her lust-induced rage long gone and her gaze somewhat far off. "She was built for the East Blue, the weakest of the four Blues. Not the hell that the Grand Line has been throwing at us since we left Reverse Mountain."

"Unfortunately, Princess, Nami and the Mosshead are right," Sanji sighed, blowing out a puff of smoke. "People grow past injuries and get stronger… but for ships, the injuries just keep piling up, never healing."

"Then… Merry's nearing the end of her line…" Boss said quietly, unusually somber.

"But she's not there yet," Usopp snapped, more serious than any of us had ever seen him, despite the tears in his eyes. "We still have a chance to save her. Sailing with us all this time, she got a dream of her own: to stay with us, to go on adventures with us even with her… limitations," he forced out the word. "And Cross promised her that we'd find a way to make that happen."

I jerked my head away as I felt a cool look burn into me from where Robin was standing. "It was a stupid promise that I should never have made, Usopp." I got to my feet and weathered the rest of the crew looking at me with expressions between anger, shock, and outright disapproval. "Come off it, all of you. I know it sounds bad, but facts are facts: I made a promise I can't guarantee I can keep. I mean…" I gripped my head miserably. "Believe me, I want to see the Merry survive just as much as any of you, but realistically? Look at me." I spread my arms. "Look at my track record. I'm making differences, sure, but in the long run, all I'm doing is a mere blip. The long and skinny of it is that things are still trudging along as per normal. And while there have been some good changes…" I nodded at the Dugongs and Lassoo, before frowning at Vivi and Carue. "There have been some bad ones, too. When all's said and done, I… I just don't know if the best I can do is going to be good enough."

"Tell me this, Cross," Usopp said, about as angry as when he dueled Luffy. "Do you have any kind of plan in mind for how to do this? Do you have any ideas?"

"Of course I do!" I snapped. "And it's the best chance in the world that we're going to get, but—"

"Then that'll work," Usopp interrupted firmly, crossing his arms. "We have a chance for it to work, so we'll all make it work."

I stared at him silently for a moment before sighing in defeat. "Well, shit, it's hard to argue with that attitude…" But nonetheless, I decided to try, starting with a firm glare. "But knowing Merry, I trust that she already told you that if, if this chance fails… you need to be prepared to let go, right? Because if you hang on, if you go past the pale on this… we will never forget the consequences."

Usopp tensed at my words, biting his lip. I noted nervously that drops of blood were falling from his fingernails, which were out-and-out burrowed in his palms. Finally, he replied.

"If we've done everything that we can, exhausted every option we've got, and it's not enough… then I'll let go. But not anysooner than that," he swore.

"My thoughts exactly," I nodded, and then looked back at our navigator. "Nami, for the chance I have in mind—"

"Cross, I might have something of an obsession, and I know that I might act like it sometimes, but don't think that I'm really heartless," Nami cut me off frigidly. "The whole of the gold is for the Merry first. We'll split things 40-60—"

"Fifty-fifty," Vivi interrupted flatly.

Nami grimaced and shuddered in revulsion. "That way with whatever's left. But first, we find out how much of it the Merry needs."

I nodded gratefully before turning a contemplative gaze on the pillar. "Then I guess the only question that remains is how much of this we'll be leaving behi—HRK!" I scrabbled at the iron-like hand that was lifting me off the GROUND BY MY THROAT OH FUCK!

"I will feast on your entrails!" Nami hissed in a voice reserved for the damned, a truly unholy light blazing in her eyes.

The Latin chanting Soundbite was adding didn't help matters, either.

"Nami," Usopp cut in, still locked in serious mode, a serious mode that was harshly shaken when Nami turned her hellish gaze upon him. Nevertheless, he swallowed heavily and powered through. "I-If we t-try taking that whole thing, Merry will sink as soon as we get back to the Blue Sea. Heck, it would probably drag us straight through the White Sea itself!"

Nami stilled, and slowly released her grasp on me, allowing me to land somewhat gracefully… or as gracefully as a person could when they fell on their ass. Her expression was dark. "…Usopp. Go and find out exactly how much space we can spare on the Merry that won't compromise her. If we miss a single square inch that we can spare, then I give you my word…" She lashed her hand out and nigh-upon crushed Usopp's shoulder to a pulp, causing him to whimper. "I will empty you out and use your sorry hide as a sack, do I make myself clear?"

"Y-y-y-yes m-ma'am," Usopp whimpered.

"THEN GET GOING!" she roared, and I swear that Usopp Shaved away. And with that, Nami's rage evaporated, and she fell on the pillar, embracing it as though it were her own child and quietly crying. "Oh, my dear, sweet gold… what can we do with the rest of you?" she sobbed.

It would have been almost heartwarming, were it not for the fact that she was basically committing the greatest act of avarice I'd ever seen in my life and… well…

"Am I the only one seeing her dry hump that thing?" I asked queasily.

"Unfortunately, you're not," Lassoo deadpanned. "Seriously, she's doing it better than most of my kind…"

"Students, take note of this moment, for it holds a most valuable lesson," Boss moaned as he slapped a flipper over his eyes. "What is seen… can never be un-seen…"

"Aye-aye, Boss…" the students groaned.

"Will somebody please find some way to stop her before she destroys what little dignity she has left?" Vivi groaned as she slapped her hands over her eyes.

"Way ahead of you, Vivi," Zoro said. I uncovered my eyes and looked at him. Then I did a double-take and saw that he was holding all three of his swords and heading towards the pillar.

"MOSSHEAD—!" Sanji began furiously.

"Can it, cook, I'm not going to touch her. But I've been thinking about this move for a while, and I finally figured out how to pull it off it during all the craziness yesterday," Zoro said with a grin before dashing towards the center of the pillar, a fair distance away from Nami.

"Three Sword Style BURST: FIVE-SENSE RAVAGER!" he called out before letting out a very precise series of thin flying slashes at the pillar, drawing Nami's attention away from her grief. Said grief promptly evaporated into indignancy, then devolved into anger, before finally exploding into outright ecstasy. The crew as a whole, even Sanji, gaped: the result of Zoro's slashes, carved on the pillar and clearly visible from any distance, was unmistakably the Straw Hat Pirates' Jolly Roger.

"Zoro…" she breathed numbly, tears glistening in her eyes. "It's… it's…"

"Mine."

Nami's head promptly snapped a truly unhealthy ninety degrees to the side so that she could glare brimstone at Zoro. "WHAT WAS THAT?" she rumbled viciously.

Zoro was entirely unfazed as he replaced his blades in their sheaths. "Nobody officially claimed this thing yet. Not you, not Robin, not anyone. Up until this moment, this pillar was free gold. But now that I've marked it, I've brought it into the crew myself. As such, it's my share entirely. And as my share, I've decided to give it… to you." The swordsman grinned in a truly triumphant manner. "I'd say this about covers my debt, wouldn't you?"

And just like that, the flame in Nami just… died. Like some great divine being had reached out and snuffed it out. She just stood there, swaying on her feet and looking somewhat dead to the world. Slowly, she turned her eyes to the pillar, then to Zoro, then to the pillar yet again before ultimately returning to Zoro. Her mouth flapped like a beached fish, trying to find words where there were none. For almost a minute she did this… until all the muscles in her body tensed as one, her eyes rolled up in her head and she keeled over backward.

"NAMI-SWAN!" Sanji cried as he rushed to her side.

I cocked an eyebrow as I watched her shudder on the ground, foam bubbling out of her mouth. "Wow. This… this is something else entirely."

"Ahh…" Carue slowly raised a wing. "I'm confused… is she haffing a hawt attack, a stwoke, ow an aneuwysm?"

Chopper dug a penlight out of his bag and shone it in her eyes. Well, the whites of her eyes anyway. "Unless I miss my guess? All three at once."

"Isn't any one of those potentially fatal, Mister Tony?" Robin asked uneasily.

"Oh, yeah, that's completely right," Chopper started to nod… before flipping out and waving his hooves frantically. "AAAAAH! WE NEED A DOCTOR! WE NEED A—NO, WAIT!" Chopper suddenly froze and whipped out a massive syringe from his bag, brandishing it with a demented smile. "I AM A DOCTOR!"

THWACK!

"OW!…thanks, Sanji."

"You're welcome. NOW, HELP NAMI-SWAN!"

"O-ON IT!"

-o-

Ultimately, by the time Chopper managed to wake up Nami, Usopp had come back with a thoroughly triple-checked survey of the Merry's holding capacity. Men's room, women's room, dining room, kitchen, storage, he had inspected everywhere on the ship that was indoors, correctly reasoning that Nami wouldn't want any of her gold in the open where anyone could potentially see and steal it.

With the amount established, we measured out the pillar, double-checking that we were right before Zoro sliced off the amount that we were capable of carrying. We'd also taken the time to have Chopper stuff Nola's nostrils with an anesthetic he cooked up, allowing the crew to re-enter her stomach without worry and gather up every last piece of gold they could locate, practically doubling the amount of 'loose change' we managed to gather. If you could define a heaping pile of gold as such.

In the end, it took Zoro, Luffy, and Sanji working together to haul the full-sized fortune back to the Merry, where Zoro and Leo began carving it up under Usopp's direction.

The rest of us, however, found ourselves distracted by the unexpected guest that awaited us on the deck of the Merry, standing beside a few crates. "So, I take it that you're leaving?" Conis smiled expectantly.

"Afraid so, Conis," I said, smiling wistfully. "We'd love to stay, but in the end, well… we are pirates. It's time for us to set sail for the next great adventure on the Blue Sea. You here to see us off?"

"Because if so, I'm so glad you did!" Sanji swooned eagerly. "For what better way is there to leave heaven than to be bid goodbye by an angel?"

"Heaven my still burnt-smelling fur…" Lassoo grumbled as he padded up the gangplank. "If anyone needs me, I'll be sleeping."

"Big surprise…" Soundbite rolled his eyes.

"Either way, it's been really great knowing you, Conis," Vivi smiled as she held the angel's hands. "We know that things started up rough, but you've been a great friend. I doubt we could have done even half as much as we did without your help."

Conis smiled back gratefully. "That's kind of you to say, Vivi, and you've all done incredible things up here I doubt I can ever repay you for. But!" She stuck up a finger proudly. "I'd like to think that I can at least start by giving you one final present before you go."

"Oh, yeah?" Nami warily eyed the crates beside Conis. "Well, it better not be too big. In case you haven't noticed, we're already a bit pressed for space as is."

Conis glanced at the block of metal that we were in the midst of dismantling. "So I can see…" she started uneasily before shaking her head and smiling confidently. "But I took the liberty of looking your ship over, and I think that your weapons room has enough space for what I'm giving you."

The whole crew, myself included, swapped confused looks until I slowly looked back at Conis. "What… exactly are you giving us, Conis?" I asked slowly.

Her smile widened eagerly as she flipped the lid of the biggest of the crates. "A gunner."

I gazed into the box with awe. "Oh, holy shit."

Lassoo abruptly appeared next to me, panting eagerly. "I am suddenly very interested in these developments!" he barked eagerly.

Laying before us was a bazooka. And not just any bazooka, mind you, I recognized this piece of hardware: it was a full-blown Burn Bazooka, packed into the crate with straw like you see in gun deals on crime sh—

I froze as a thought struck me before slowly opening up the rest of the crates. I boggled at the sight that met me. "Allow me to reiterate. Holy shit."

"Woooow…" Luffy and Chopper breathed in agreement.

That sentiment accurately summarized the opinions of the crew in general, because packaged before us was nothing short of a legitimate arsenal of weaponry from all walks of life. It was enough that Usopp, Zoro, and Leo turned their attention back to us, leaving the pillar half-carved as they examined the plethora of death-dealers.

A crate of pistols here, a box of rifles there, shotguns over there, and pretty much everything in-between everywhere else! From Blue Sea weaponry to Dial-based firearms, we were packing merely by being in the proximity of this much raw tonnage!

"Well, this isn't something you see every day…" Sanji whistled as he picked out a pistol and looked it over.

Mikey, meanwhile, was much more enthusiastic, picking up a bazooka and perching it on his shoulder. "HAHA! Oh, man, this is awesome! I think we've got enough firepower here to topple a small kingdom!"

"Awe you kidding?" Carue snorted incredulously. "Twust me, if Bawoque Wowks showed me anything, it's that with da wight pwanning, you could conqah an avewage kingdom with this much fiyahpowah!"

"So coo~l!" the orange-bandanna'd Dugong breathed nevertheless.

"Thank-you-thank-you-thank-you!" Usopp repeated endlessly as he spun Conis around in a hug, while Lassoo did his best to try to lick her face off.

I finally managed to tear my gaze away from the weapons in favor of gaping at Conis in shock. "Where the hell did you even find this much firepower?!" I asked numbly.

The angel wrenched herself away from Usopp and Lassoo and wiped herself off before replying. "Well, you see, Cross, Skypiea and the Shandorians have both amassed something of an arsenal over the past few centuries, and now that the war is over, neither side wants to keep more than they really have to." She then grinned sheepishly as she dug through into her pocket. "Of course, to seal the deals, I did have to offer something that they would be willing to trade for, which you thankfully provided." She took out a Dial and a few sheets of paper and handed them to me. I took one look at them… and promptly burst out laughing.

"Oh-hoh, my God!" I cackled ecstatically. "Oh, man, that's just brilliant! I—!…I…" I trailed off slowly before slapping a hand to my forehead in realization. "Ah, shit, I'm an idiot."

"Huh? What is it?" Usopp asked in confusion as he tried to look over my shoulder.

"I'm assuming that you traded for Dials using rubber bands and got a pretty good haul, right?" I asked as I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Oh, yeah, a really good haul! A few Breath Dials, a Tone Dial, a Flash Dial, a Heat Dial, a Flavor Dial, and I even got another Impact Dial! Oh, and that reminds me, Cross," he said, snapping into a businesslike tone. "Your new armor's coming along, but it'll be a little while; I've almost finished the left gauntlet, which is designed so that you can put a Flash Dial in it, but I'm still working on a way to safely incorporate the Impact Dial in the right one. I've almost got it to the point where it'll just feed the recoil back into the Dial, so you won't have to worry about tearing your muscles apart, and the Dial will just keep getting stronger every time you use it!" He grimaced uncomfortably. "Though you'll probably want to discharge it full-out sooner or later, or else it could actually overwhelm the feedback system and… well, I don't thinkyour arms can get any worse, but let's not find out."

"That's really good to hear, Usopp, thanks," I said with a sincere smile before scowling darkly. "But what I was trying to get at was that while you made a killing with rubber bands, you could have cleaned out everyone on this island with this." I held the picture up for him to see.

Everyone gazed up at the picture for all of three seconds. Then everyone, even Conis herself, fell over laughing.

I snorted darkly as I lowered my hand, though I did puff my cheeks out in a chuckle when I caught sight of the picture. Honestly, it's not like I could blame them! You'd have to be completely emotionless not to find a live-action version of Eneru freaking out completely drop-dead hilarious.

"Heheheh, yeah. Complete missed opportunity, but it looks like Conis saw the significance of me managing to… snap a… picture you stole my Vision Dial when you 'bumped' into me didn't you," I concluded flatly as I turned back towards Conis.

Conis wiped the tears from her eyes with a snicker before nodding firmly. "Y-yeah, sorry about that. I just wanted to surprise you all, and that was the easiest way for me to do it."

I tried to frown for a second, but I ultimately abandoned the effort with a sigh and a smile. "Bah, screw it, no harm no foul, and at least someone made a profit with that thing. Would have been a shame for a work of art like that to go to waste."

"I agree completely," Nami chuckled. "We need to frame that thing ASAP, I'll never get enough of seeing that arrogant son of a bitch's face when Luffy showed him up!"

"That one is good, yes, but I personally like the other one better," Conis said, tugging another paper she gave me out from under that picture. Everyone's laughter renewed when we saw the absolutely epic sight of Luffy kicking Eneru in the gut. Even Robin couldn't stay on her feet.

"Heheh, heee…" I wheezed out, wiping away a tear before hefting a bazooka from its crate and looking it over again. "Well, anyway, thanks a lot for this armory, Conis. It's probably going to take us a while to learn how to use it, but once we do—!"

I was interrupted by Conis hunching over in a renewed fit of giggling.

Soundbite and I exchanged confused glances. "Ahh… am I missing something?" the snail asked hesitantly.

"Only if I am, too…" I shrugged helplessly.

"Heheh…" Conis stood back up as she got her laughter back under control, hiding her smile behind her hand. "I'm sorry for laughing at you, Cross, it's just that it seems you misheard me when I told you what my gift was!"

"Huh?" I blinked in confusion. "What are you—?"

"SON OF A BITCH!" Soundbite roared without warning.

"What, what is it?" I asked.

Soundbite gaped at Conis in shock. "S-S-SHE didn't say she was giving us guns!"

"What?!" Boss scoffed. "That's crazy, of course she did, we all heard her!"

"Actually, Soundbite's right," Conis cut in promptly. "I didn't say that I was giving you guns. I said I was giving you a gun-ner."

One by one, everyone's eyes started to widen as the beri dropped.

"Conis…" Vivi breathed, obviously unable to believe what she was hearing. "What exactly are you trying to say?"

Conis smiled eagerly before snatching the bazooka I was holding from my hands, slinging its strap around her body, and flipping the gun over so that she was holding it in an upside-down underslung style. She capped the whole display off by expertly cocking the weapon.

"I'm saying that considering I know how to use all of these weapons, I'd like to become your crew's gunner!" Conis announced proudly… before shrinking in on herself, hands folded behind her back as she scuffed at the floor with a sheepish smile. "I-If you'll have me, that is…"

For what felt like an absolute eternity, there was nothing but absolute silence. Nobody even so much as reacted when a South Bird flew over us, "JO JO JO"ing without so much as a care in the world.

Finally, however, the crew reacted appropriately.

Half of the reactions, of course, fell somewhere in the "WHAAAT!?" end of the spectrum. The other half, however, varied in predictability:

"OF COURSE, SWEET CONIS, WE'RE GLAD TO HAVE YOU!" Sanji sang.

"WOO, GIRL POWER!" Raphey exclaimed, pumping her fists.

"What have I done, what have I done, what have I done…" I mumbled on repeat as I tried to wrap my head around events.

Usopp jabbed his elbow into Zoro's side in order to break him out of his stupor before holding out his palm. "Pay up."

"Tsk," the swordsman snarled as he dug a wad of bills out of his pocket and slapped them in Usopp's hand. "Out of one hole and into another. I'll get you the rest as soon as we reach land."

"Just make sure the money doesn't have blood on it," Usopp deadpanned as he counted out the cash.

"And I thought the women's quarters were somewhat cramped before…" Robin sighed.

"Oh, don't worry, Robin," Vivi groaned as she ground her fingers into her temple. "Nami's going to be sleeping in storage with most of the gold."

Nami opened her mouth angrily, and then let it hang as a line of drool dribbled from the corner of her mouth, a euphoric giggle drifting out.

"Is it just me, or have all of the additions to our crew since me been people being pushy?" Chopper muttered to himself.

Finally, Boss managed to snap out of his shock and focus intently on Conis, who had thus far been thoroughly bemused by our display. "Conis…" he began. "Didn't you say that you wanted to give us this gift to repay us? Because I'll tell you now, Luffy's sort of particular about that sort of thing."

Conis waved her hands with a panicked expression. "Oh, nonono! It's nothing like that, I swear! When I said I was doing this to repay you, I just meant that that was why you all were my first choice! Well, that and because you're my friends, of course…" She was a bit sheepish for a moment before shaking her head and clenching her fists, eyes blazing with determination. "But even if you won't let me join you, then I'll just join the next crew who comes up here, or… or I'll even travel over Cloud's End myself! Either way…" She crossed her arms and looked away sadly. "Either way, I'm going, and… and I'd really like nothing more than to go with you all."

Luffy grinned eagerly. "Of course!"

"Luffy!" Nami cut in with a sharp glare at our captain before giving Conis a concerned look. "I… look, Conis, I'm not complaining about this, I swear, I know better than anyone what it's like to make this kind of decision and I doubt you reached your conclusion lightly, but…" She spread her arms helplessly. "How did this happen? How did you go from the girl we met playing her harp on the beach to, well… you?"

"Well…" Conis bit her lip hesitantly for a second before looking at… me!? "It's actually because of Cross."

Nami, Zoro, and Vivi promptly slapped hands to their faces. "Of course it is…" they chorused flatly.

I was too shocked to be pissed. "Wha—ME!?" I blurted incredulously. "Y-you mean what I said a few—!?"

"No, no, not that!" Conis shook her head hastily. "That was just to remove any doubts I had left about wanting to do this, and you did that wonderfully. I… I meant earlier. When…" She closed her eyes as a shudder wracked her body. "When Eneru attacked us."

I winced slightly at a flash of phantom pain before looking at her in confusion. "I—what!? How did that display inspire you to go forth and venture!?"

"Because of what you said!" Conis exclaimed before sighing wistfully. "How you said that the Blue Seas were bigger and more glorious than any of us could ever imagine, how you said that there's so much we don't know. It just… your words resonated with me. And besides that, well…" She smiled sadly. "I was impressed at how you had what I've always lacked: courage."

"What!?" Raphey scoffed. "Are you crazy, woman? You're currently carrying almost half of your bodyweight in gun!You're a badass!"

"No, I'm a person with training and discipline," Conis responded before wilting. "But until now, I've never actually had the will to apply it. All these years, I've had the means with which to fight against Eneru in at least some capacity, but whenever the thought entered my mind…" She trailed off with a fearful shudder before looking back at me. "And yet, you, a Blue Sea Dweller with far less combat ability, when faced with Eneru's wrath—head-on, no less… you were stripped of any ability to fight back, facing certain death, and you still had the courage to stand up to him without hesitating once."

She smiled and looked at the crew fondly. "And while that may be the biggest reason, your crew as a whole made an impression on me, challenging Eneru and all of his disciples—and winning—just because of someone you met that same day. And even in the middle of all of it, you're still able to relax and celebrate as if nothing was amiss. Seeing what all of you could do, I… well, for a brief moment, I wanted to be a part of it." Her smile then died and rotted into a haunted look. "That… that feeling was one of the only reasons I managed to pull through what happened only an hour later."

It didn't take a genius to figure out what she meant. "Conis, your father didn't die! He's alive!" I protested.

"But I didn't know that at the time!" she shot back tearfully. "I—look, I've never really had any friends before you all, I don't have any other family…" She hugged herself desperately. "F-for as long as I can remember, it's always been my father, Su, and I. They're the only family I've ever known, and when I thought my father d…" Her fingers sank into her arms as she struggled to get the word out. "D-d-died… t-then the only true connection I had left tying me to Skypiea died with him."

Vivi laid a consoling hand on Conis' shoulder. Conis gripped the hand with a grateful smile before taking a calming breath and steeling her expression. "When that happened," she whispered solemnly. "I made a promise to myself. I promised that if we survived this ordeal, if we all lived, then I would leave Skypiea. I would leave the White Sea, and I would go out and explore the glorious world that awaited me with no regrets."

Conis' expression when Pagaya returned flashed through my mind, with a whole new context. "And then you found out that your father was still alive…" I deduced slowly.

Conis shuddered in anguish. "Yes, that… that created something of a conflict." She then perked up with a hopeful, if somewhat confused look. "But, I… I talked it over with my father later that night, and he was… surprisingly encouraging. Sad, of course, but… but he was understanding and he… he said that he approved."

"But of course."

"GYAH!" I jumped almost a full three feet off the ground before wheeling around and glaring daggers at Pagaya, who was standing right behind me. "Don't do that! What if I had a heart condition!?"

"You don't," Chopper deadpanned.

I spared him a glance before rolling my eyes. "Alright, fine, but Eneru could have given me one with all that lightning!"

"Not with where he was hitting you."

"WILL YOU WORK WITH ME HERE, DAMN IT!?"

Conis, meanwhile, pushed past me to stand before Pagaya in shock. "F-Father!" she stammered in shock. "W-what are you doing here!?"

Pagaya chuckled fondly as he laid his hands on his daughter's shoulders. "What kind of father would I be if I didn't see my daughter off? And as for your confusion about my willingness to let you leave, well…" he sighed warmly. "I suppose that I am just of the opinion that it is not right for one person to get in the way of another's dreams. If this is truly your dream, Conis, and I believe that it is, then like your mother before you, I won't stand in your way."

Conis stiffened, tears welling up in her eyes before she hugged Pagaya, burying her face in his shoulder as she sobbed joyously, her father patting her back.

I broke the moment slightly by clearing my throat, wincing at the piercing glares the rest of the crew shot at me. "Look, I'm sorry for intruding on this moment, but… Conis' mother? I adamantly refuse to believe that I'm the only one who wants to hear that story."

The rest of the crew glared at me for a moment longer before relaxing and murmuring amongst themselves in agreement.

"It was 24 years ago, before Conis was born."

"Wha—Su!" Conis gasped, turning to face the cloud fox in question.

"I only heard about Serra from my parents, but apparently she was always something of a wanderer, ceaselessly exploring Upper Yard whenever she got the chance," Su continued, pacing on the Merry's railing. "She fell in love with Pagaya over a shared love of Wavers, the freedom to see somewhere on the horizon and go there with just a thought. But no matter how far she went, the White Sea was always too small for her. Then one day, a pirate crew much like yours arrived, and she was presented with an opportunity. A chance to leave, a chance to see the world… a chance to live." The fox paused and hung her head sadly. "It was with a heavy heart that she left her fiancée behind, but her heart yearned for adventure, and she simply couldn't deny it."

Su sat back on her haunches. "After four years, she came back to Angel Island, and she and Pagaya picked up where they left off; they finally married, and Conis was born a year later. But Pagaya could see the euphoria she had whenever she talked about the wonders she'd seen. He wanted her to do what made her happiest...so she used her experience to arm herself with all the resources she could afford, and when Conis was 4, she left again..."

Su then perked her head up, and she seemed to be smiling. "But not before leaving her daughter a companion in the form of a cloud fox she'd found. My mother was a loyal companion for Conis until her age wouldn't let her be anymore, and that's when I took over. And I've never left her side since. Well…" Su scurried over to Conis and clambered onto her shoulder, rubbing her head against Conis's cheek. "Almost never. Sorry for running off like that, I had some things I had to take care of."

Conis giggled happily as she leaned her forehead against her companion's. "Oh, Su…" she smiled.

Pagaya appeared to smile behind his beard as he watched the exchange. "I'm sorry that I don't seem sad that I didn't stop your mother from leaving all those years ago, Conis, and I'm sorry that I don't seem sad now, but the fact is that I find it quite impossible to be even the slightest bit remorseful over the fact that the two women I love the most in my life are following their dreams. As sad as I'll be to watch you leave, I'd be even sadder if I made you suffer by forcing you to stay."

He cast a wistful gaze at the Going Merry. "In the end, I suppose we can only call it fate. Just as it did over twenty years ago, the Knock-Up Stream has yet again brought pirates to our land who will affect our family in fantastic ways. Ah, what a wondrous world we live in…"

It took all of ten seconds for that statement to sink in properly. Once it did, however, Robin and I made the connection at the same time. Or at least, I assume we did if the way we both stiffened was anything to go by.

"Oh, my…" she whispered numbly.

"Holy shit," I concurred, still trying to wrap my head around the sheer implications. Fucking hell, what did I do, stumble onto one of Oda's deleted scenes?!

"What? What's with you two?" Su asked curiously.

"Yeah, what is it, Cross?" Luffy questioned obliviously. "Do you know who they were?"

"Do I know—?" I ground out semi-hysterically. "Luffy, the captain of the pirates Pagaya is talking about was your predecessor!"

"Gol D. Roger…" Robin breathed, apparently still incredulous herself.

It took twenty seconds for that to sink with the rest of the crew, and when it did… I had the good sense to slap my headphones over my ears.

A resounding shout of "WHAAAAAAT!?" kicked the surrounding treelines into a flurry of retreating wildlife.

Lassoo whined and slapped his paws against his ears. "Looooud…" he moaned.

Luffy was leading Chopper, Usopp, and the Dugongs in bowing before Conis over and over again, repetitively chanting the phrase "WE ARE NOT WORTHY!"

"DAMN STRAIGHT!" Sanji half-roared half-cheered in agreement with their worshipping.

"Moron."

Three guesses who said that and what happened next.

Soundbite gave me a flat look. "You realize that this is your FAULT, RIGHT?"

"I know, I know…" I sighed wearily.

"Um, pardon me, but why are you all reacting like that?" Conis asked uncomfortably, a slight blush coming across her face.

"The Roger Pirates are the most famous pirates in history, the only crew that's ever succeeded in sailing to the very end of the Grand Line. They disbanded 22 years ago with the captain's execution, but his last words promised great treasure to whoever was able to find it, which sparked the Great Pirate Era, as countless souls have sought to inherit Roger's title: King of the Pirates," I summarized, with all the solemnity that that story deserved. "The quest for his legendary treasure, the One Piece, is the entire reason we and many others like us became pirates and set out to sea in the first place!"

Conis' eyes went wide, and Pagaya's… um, didn't, and I couldn't see his jaw dropped behind that beard. Honestly, the only way I could tell he was shocked was from the sweat on his brow.

"She joined with a pirate crew of that strength?" Conis asked eagerly, though Pagaya's demeanor was much more… reserved.

"But you said that the captain was executed? Then… she…?" Pagaya began weakly. Su and Conis also teared up as it sunk in, and the worshipping from the other crewmates subsided.

"Ah, no no no!" I waved my arms hastily as I tried to backstep. "Roger was executed, yes, but suffice to say that there were…" I glanced at Luffy cautiously, who was himself giving me something of a look. "Circumstances… not made public. But anyway, Roger was the only one executed. As far as I know, the rest of the crew managed to get off scot-free. Where they are now, however…" I shrugged helplessly. "I'm afraid that your guess is as good as mine."

Pagaya slowly relaxed, nodding in response to my words. "If she is alive, then that is enough for me."

"Ugh… I can't take much more of these surprises," Vivi groaned, sinking to her knees alongside both Carue and Nami, who were both moaning in agreement.

"Well, I can't make any promises, but I for one will at least try and keep the nonsense down to a… a… aaaHAHAHA!" Su suddenly threw her head back with a bark of laughter. "NOPE! Couldn't say it with a straight face, you guys are screwed!"

"AH, LA FOLIE A DEUX. Dis gon' be FUN, HAHAHA!" Soundbite cackled ecstatically.

"Wha—wait, what!?" Conis snapped her head around to stare at Su in shock. "Su, you are not coming with me! This voyage is going to be dangerous beyond all belief, I couldn't possibly put you at risk like that."

Su tilted her head as she stared at her owner. "Um, of course I'm coming? Why else do you think I've spent the whole day saying goodbye to all of my animal friends?"

"Su, you are not coming, and that is final!" Conis ordered firmly.

"Uh, yes, I am?" the cloud fox stated flatly in an 'are you an idiot' tone of voice. "How could I not come when you're completely helpless without me?"

"E-excuse me?" Conis said indignantly.

"Well, obviously," Su rolled her eyes… I assume, anyways, that fur was a hell of a poker face. "After all, just look at you! Moments ago, you thought there was a chance in hell of me not coming with you on this voyage when obviously there's nothing you can do to stop me. Truly you are beyond all help, but don't worry, Conis!" She laid her paw on her head. "That's why you have me."

Conis stammered incoherently for several seconds. And then, finally, she sighed. "… Fine," she said, clearly defeated and clearly happy.

Pagaya proceeded to draw attention to himself by clearing his throat, gazing hopefully at Luffy. "Captain, like my wife before her, I know that there is nothing I can do to dissuade my daughter without making her miserable. All I ask is that like before, I know that my little girl is venturing forth in the best company she can possibly find, and quite honestly, I believe that to be you and your crew. So, as a father, I am begging you…" He clasped his hands pleadingly. "Will you please take her with you, and keep her as safe as you can?"

Luffy's response was to grin widely as he scratched a finger beneath his nose. "Shishishishi! I've already made that promise twice, why wouldn't I make it again?"

"Twice? He made it for me, but who was the other one?" Vivi asked curiously.

Nami answered that question by slapping a hand to her forehead with an embarrassed groan. "I'm going to kill Genzo when I see him again…" Nevertheless, she didn't try and hide the smile she was sporting.

Conis, meanwhile, had an ecstatic grin slowly starting to spread across her face. "So… so you mean—?"

Luffy shot his fists up with a cheer. "WE HAVE TWO NEW CREWMATES! HIP HIP!"

"HOORAY!" Usopp, Chopper, and Carue leaped and crowed joyously.

"Ah, to see the ranks of one's companions bolstered, however marginally…" Boss slowly shook his head with a grin before punching the air. "THIS IS THE PUREST OF MAN'S ROMANCES!"

"GO, BOSS, GO!" the TDWS cheered enthusiastically.

"AN ANGEL HAS JOINED OUR CREW! I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER!" Sanji swooned in full love-mode.

"And it looks like she could have some fight in her, too…" Zoro mused as he fingered the hilts of his blade.

SLAM!

He then went from fingering them to drawing them in an instant in order to block the kick Sanji aimed at his head.

"I'LL CAVE YOUR SKULL IN IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT TOUCHING HER, MOSSHEAD!" Sanji raged furiously. No prizes for guessing what happened next.

While the rest of the crew welcomed Conis warmly, Nami turned her attention to me.

"I'll go out on a limb and say that you didn't see this coming, Cross?" she asked quietly.

I chopped my hand across my neck with a look at Soundbite and waited for the subtle buzz before speaking. "I didn't expect to see her that much after she saw us off at the pier on Angel Island, full-stop," I replied numbly. "She should have wound up co-owning a café with Laki a couple of years from now."

Nami cocked an eyebrow at where Vivi was giving Conis an enthusiastic hug before shrugging slightly. "Well, it looks like that's not going to be happening. But on the other hand, I don't see how this could have any negative consequences. So, call it a good change?"

I watched the scene for a moment before smiling gratefully. "Yeah… call it a good change. Well, with that done, what say we get back to loading up the gold?"

"…Actually, Cross, there's one more thing I want to ask about," Nami finally said, looking at me seriously. "With Conis and Su joining us, almost half of our crew is in the dark about you. I get that you're waiting on it for Robin, but at some point, you need to tell the others."

I grimaced in agreement, but ultimately I shook my head. "I'll tell them soon enough. We're close to the point I'm waiting for, give or take two islands. If everything works out in the best-case scenario, then I'll tell them the same time I tell Robin. Worst case… I'll settle for a little sooner. Either way, everyone will know everything soon enough."

Nami pursed her lips, obviously unsatisfied with the answer, but she nodded in acceptance nevertheless. One glance at Soundbite made him drop the scramble, and Nami marched up to drop her hand on Conis' shoulder.

"Welcome aboard, Conis. Now, as second mate, allow me to give you your first official order as a Straw Hat Pirate," Nami announced.

I wisely chose to slip my earphones on when I noticed her drawing a deep breath.

"LOAD THE GOLD, RIGHT NOW!"

Not a second too soon.

And so, with our new gunner and her arsenal officially with us, Zoro and Leo proceeded to finish dismantling the gold pillar while the rest of us loaded it onto the Merry. And in light of the two death threats hanging over his head, Usopp had come up with an ingenious way to utilize every bit of space that the Merry had available, while at the same time ensuring that theft was a complete impossibility without either a master swordsman or more time and dismantling skills than an average thief was likely to possess.

He got the idea from Eneru's Luminous Forge technique; after Zoro and Leo cut up the gold as he indicated, through the extensive and thoroughly supervised usage of Heat and Flame Dials, Usopp heated up the pieces once they were in storage and melded them into big enough shapes that they were impossible to fit through the doorways. It was more likely for Nami to ever get Zoro in debt again than it was for anyone to manage to steal anything from the pillar without us catching them. Though then again, I suppose I could have been giving Nami too little credit.

When all of that was said and done, Nami did a thorough evaluation of the gold that we had accumulated. The bags we had filled from Nola amounted to at least 500 million on their own, and with every bit of the Merry within closed doors stuffed as full as we could practically make it, the total haul was—conservatively—an even ฿2 billion.

Needless to say, it was a good long while before our navigator was in any state to navigate. In the end, however, we were just about ready to leave. But I still had a couple of things left to take care of as the crew began boarding the Merry again.

"Hey, Nami, did Pagaya manage to finish your request?" I asked.

"Wha—? Oh, I forgot!" Nami said, turning back towards the Dial engineer in question. "Pagaya, were you able to make those modifications I asked for?"

"Hmm?" Pagaya glanced at Nami curiously before snapping his head up. "Ah, yes! I'm sorry, I forgot about it during all the commotion. I have it on my boat now, just give me a moment to fetch it."

So saying, he dashed back to his own vessel and promptly returned with what resembled a combination of a folded scooter and a snowboard. Rather than the boat-like bottom that the Waver originally had, it now had a curved plank of metal-lined wood close to the size of a skateboard. There was also a leather strap running from the handles of the vehicle to its front wheel.

"Here it is," he announced proudly, handing it over to Nami. "While I was able to maintain the basic integrity of the Waver's structure, I'm sorry to say that I had to do away with some of the lower edges so as to fit within the size constraints you requested. I hope you don't mind getting your feet wet, and I doubt you'll be able to fit any more passengers on there."

"Are you kidding!?" Nami squealed eagerly as she hugged the device to her chest. "I live on a ship, so getting my feet wet is nothing, and I'm happy I won't have passengers anymore! This is all for me, me, meee!" she trailed off finally, spinning on her toes happily.

I shot a grin at Pagaya. "I think she likes it."

Pagaya chuckled. "So I see. Well, does this mean you're setting sail?"

"Not quite yet, we've got a bit more to take care of," I replied, turning back to the gangplank and walking onboard. Nami and Pagaya came up just behind, and a quick whistle had all eyes on me.

"Alright, everyone, now that we've got the gold loaded up, let's move on to some more pressing matters before we move out…" I wrung my hands eagerly. "Pop quiz: what's the one thing that I emphasized us needing more than anything else while we were up here?"

"We were all diligent in collecting Dials, Cross," Robin said with a smirk, unfolding a sash that she had been carrying and revealing the Dials within. "Thirteen Axe Dials, courtesy of Yama and one of his Enforcers."

I gave the sash a flat look before cocking an eyebrow at Robin. "Do I even want to know how many pieces you left his spine in?"

Robin's frigid chuckle was answer enough.

"Moving on! Usopp?"

Usopp grinned proudly as he dug a shell out of his bag and tossed it up and down in his palm. "Besides the trading I did, Sanji and I managed to grab twelve of Eneru's Thunder Dials along with three Water Dials, and Terry, Isaiah, and their oversized cousins got ten Jet Dials."

"I took Shura's Heat Dial and his bird's Flame Dial," Boss grinned savagely, ramming his fist into his palm.

"He was not gentle," Mikey snickered sadistically.

"Those twin dumplings that attacked me were carrying Flame, Impact, Axe, and Flavor Dials. They're all in the storage room," Nami shrugged indifferently. "They were pretty annoying, admittedly, but not that hard to handle with some liberal application of my Clima-Tact to their skulls."

"I got one of Gedatsu's Milky Dials!" Chopper added, jumping and waving a shoe in the air eagerly before rubbing the back of his head with a sheepish grin. "I… don't know how, really, I kind of blacked out halfway through when he got a good punch in and I psyched up."

"And Ohm said that he had a Dial in the hilt of his sword, so I took it once I kicked his ass. At least he was a semi-decent swordsman," Zoro finished, fishing the hilt of the blade in question out of a crate. "No clue what happened to the actual blade, though. It disappeared once it left Ohm's hand."

I grinned as I took in the weapon, a few 'JACKPOT' bells ringing in my head. "Well, now, that has exceptional potential," I said, taking the Eisen Whip from Zoro and looking it over. Then I turned to our navigator and held it out. "Nami, see what you can make of this."

Nami looked surprised, but took the hilt nonetheless, turning it over in her hand as she examined it from all angles. "What do you think I can do with it? It looks like a bladeless sword."

"Actually, it's a whip," I corrected. "Ohm called it an Eisen Whip. The hilt holds a very special Cloud Dial called an Eisen Dial. It acts like the Dials Satori used to produce his Ball Clouds, only instead of making island cloud, it makes clouds as solid as iron. His default form for it was a sword…" I grinned eagerly. "But he was able to manipulate it into a variety of shapes." My grin widened when Nami snapped her head around to stare at me in shock. "I know it might be a longshot, but considering your skillset—"

"How did he operate it?" Nami demanded, examining the hilt intently.

"Oh, I think I might know!" Conis offered, stepping up to her and pointing out a few hidden buttons and dials I hadn't noticed on the neck of the weapon's hilt. "See here? Unless I miss my guess, this whole device acts as a large control apparatus for the Dial. It's a little elaborate, but it doesn't seem to be too different from a traditional rig. Unless I'm mistaken…" She started pointing out controls one by one. "This one controls the pressure, this one regulates the humidity, this one the air flow—"

"Which one produces the cloud?" Nami cut in dully, her eyes and voice glazed over with an analytical haze that I'd only ever seen whenever she was drawing a map or watching the sky.

Conis glanced at Nami in surprise before hesitantly pointing out a button. "I… think you need to hold this one down? I'd suggest exercising caution, however, these kind of Dials tend to be very—"

Nami rammed her thumb into the button, causing a long blade of pure white to lance out from the hilt that forced Conis to jump back with a shocked yelp.

"SENSITIVE! Be careful, Nami!"

But Nami wasn't listening. She wasn't even looking at Conis. Rather, she was staring at the hilt she was holding up at eye level, watching the cloud shoot out of it in a steady stream, her face a mask of focus. Without even a moment's hesitation, she started pressing the whip's controls at random, causing the cloud to destabilize and lash out uncontrollably like some form of amorphous tentacle, varying wildly in size, shape, and length.

However, the randomness of her movements didn't last long. Soon, her actions took on a tone of control and thought. Where the cloud was flailing randomly before, it started moving with much more… fluidity. And it was fluid in more ways than one. While at first, the cloud had been smooth and seamless, it slowly started to thicken and flow. Bit by bit, the cloud expanded and puffed out so that it looked denser and… well, honestly, it even looked fluffier.

In no time at all, where once there was an uncontrollably flailing tentacle of cloud-matter was now an entirely natural-looking cloud, flowing from the hilt Nami was holding and drifting around her like some great watchful spirit.

"Woooah…" Luffy breathed in awe.

Conis, for her part, was utterly speechless. "H-how—?" she started to stammer out.

"Alright…" Nami muttered, not even looking up at the cloud as she watched her fingers fly over the controls. "Now that I've got the hang of this thing, let's see what it can really do…"

And where once Nami's fingers flew, now they danced. And the cloud danced with them, flowing around her to coalesce into a singular mass. The cloud surged and morphed for a moment before twisting into an almost perfect sphere, interrupted only by the line of clouds flowing back to the hilt. It held its shape for a moment before collapsing back into formless cloud and roiling into a three-dimensional model of a pyramid. It then repeated the process to form a cube, a star, and even a hollow dodecahedron. But the real clincher was the final form she created: a hand. While it might not have looked like an entirely natural hand, more a glove than anything, the real impressive part was how it moved, the fingers flexing and articulating with as much ease as though they were made of flesh and blood.

Nami stared at the hand in open-mouthed awe for a moment before slowly letting a rapturous grin grow on her face. "Oh, yes…" she purred eagerly. "I can definitely use this."

"Wooow," breathed the Kiddy Trio and the TDWS. Everyone else was just as shocked; Sanji wasn't even able to swoon nor Zoro able to scowl at the sheer mastery Nami had just managed.

"Well, now…" Robin muttered, the wonder evident in her voice.

"That was incredible, Nami!" Vivi gushed eagerly.

"Now that was epic," I whistled in awe.

"O-oh my, I'm sorry for staring, but this is simply uncanny!" Pagaya breathed. "Why, the only person I've ever seen operate a Cloud Dial with such precision was another Dial engineer from another Sky Island! Oh, I haven't heard from him for such a long time, he left to travel on the Blue Sea over twenty years a—!" The old man cut himself off suddenly, and he and I shared shocked looks. We then veeery slowly started leaning backward, tilting our heads as we went.

"I DO NOT HAVE AMPUTATION SCARS!" Nami snarled irately.

We hastily snapped back upright.

"But my father does have a point!" Conis blurted, staring at the cloud in wonder. "I-I've never seen anyone handle a Dial with such ease! Ohm himself couldn't even do that, judging from when he fought Sanji!"

"Why do you think I gave that thing to Nami?" I asked rhetorically. "The cloud that thing makes might be made of iron, but it's still a cloud. Because it's a cloud, it's still a part of weather, and because it's part of weather? Well…" I trailed off with a vicious grin. "That just about makes it Nami's bitch."

"It's just all so obvious…" Nami giggled to herself as she reduced the cloud back to its natural-looking state, making it flow around her free hand. "It's like a real cloud, and I have all of the control I need at my… fingertips…" she trailed off for a moment before grinning eagerly. "A cloud…" In a flash, she snapped her hand to her side and whipped out a section of the Clima-Tact, spinning it between her fingers.

Soundbite took one look at the crackling static starting to coalesce around the rod before recoiling fearfully. "NONONONOWAIT!"

Too late. Satisfied with the charge, Nami held the metal rod in a reverse grip and rammed its tip into the cloud flow. The reaction was instantaneous: the cloud became as black as pitch, tongues of lightning forked through and around the form…

TH-THUMP!

And I jerked back fearfully when the whole of my body burned, phantom electrical burns raging throughout my body as I only barely managed to choke back a terrified yelp.

Nami hastily ripped the rod away with a stricken look and dropped the Eisen Whip's hilt, causing the clouds to snap back into the device. "C-Cross! I'm so sorry, that was so stupid of me and—!"

"Don't!" I interrupted, snapping my hand up in order to halt the apology. "Do not apologize for doing that, you hear me? It was an accident, you didn't mean it, it's fine."

"I…" Nami hesitated momentarily before grinding the heel of her palm into her forehead with a groan. "Ugh, I'm so embarrassed I forgot… well, at least I won't be using that again anytime soon—"

"No!" I snapped, crossing my arms in an X. "This is going to push you far above and beyond the 'one-man army' level of power, you're not foregoing that just because of my stupid phobia!"

"No, I'm foregoing it because I need to get this in a more convenient form," Nami replied, picking up the Whip's hilt and shoving both it and the sections of her Clima-Tact into Usopp's hands. "Boss, I need the Heat Dial. Usopp, you take that, a Water Dial, and a Thunder Dial and merge them with these, ASAP."

"Wha—? B-but I—" Usopp stammered.

"Oh, I should be able to help with that," Conis offered. "I'm not a fully trained Dial Engineer, but my father's given me some training, so I could at least try and help."

"Assuming you don't confuse the usage of a Milky Dial again, anyways."

"SU!"

"Eheheh, I'm sure you'll be a great help anyways, Conis," Usopp hedged uncomfortably before looking back at me. "Hey, Cross, could I borrow your baton, too? I… think I have a few ideas."

I blinked in surprise before shrugging and tossing the compressed tube to him. "Whatever sort of ideas you have, just make sure you pass them through me first."

"ONE TIME!" the longnose threw his hands up in exasperation.

"And Nami!" I jabbed my finger at her. "Even once you've got your new and improved weapon, I don't want you to so much as hesitate before sparking up some lightning around me, no matter what. As a matter of fact, I want you to make a point of doing it more often, make it your go-to option!"

"WHAT!?" Nami and Chopper belted out in unison, the doctor jumping up and down and waving his hooves frantically. "Cross, are you insane?! You're suffering from a trauma-induced phobia! If you force yourself to undergo it again and again—!"

"Then I'll get used to it pretty quickly, won't I?" I finished blandly.

Chopper stared at me in confusion for all of three seconds before tensing in realization. "You're talking about trying to employ systematic desensitization therapy…" He shook his head furiously. "But that takes time, and it has to be employed in a controlled environment! What you're proposing is a crude and ham-handed knock-off that could cause you serious psychological damage!"

"And what would your alternative be, our most wondrous doctor?" I questioned with a cocked eyebrow.

"Well…" Chopper tapped his chin in thought. "The usual treatment for PTSD involves a combination of psychotherapy and medication… I could make the proper dosages, and since we have enough Thunder Dials, I could probably set up some kind of a simulation. In a few months—"

"Considering the average day for our crew and the Grand Line's weather, I don't think we have time for extended therapy, Chopper," I cut in dryly. "Add in the fact that the cause of the phobia was transmitted the world over, and chances are that someone will try and exploit it for their benefit."

The doctor looked up at me with a scowl, but he ultimately sighed and shook his head. "… Fine, it looks like we'll have to do it your way. But you will be taking medications as soon as I've prepared them, doctor's orders."

"Fair enough," I nodded. Silence fell for a few moments before Usopp cleared his throat.

"Well, it looks like I'm going to be busy; with Cross' armor and baton, Nami's Clima-Tact, and my own arsenal, plus the ideas I have for Vivi and Carue, I've got work to do. But just to be sure I'm not surprised later, does anyone else have any suggestions for upgrades?"

Most of the crew shook their heads, but Boss gained a thoughtful expression as he took out his cargo hook, looking it over. "Hmm… the main issue I've had with my rope-dart over the years has been when I was fighting someone who managed to grab the rope. You think you could figure out a way to integrate a Heat Dial?"

Usopp processed that and cupped his chin. "Hmm… it'll be tricky, but I think I can manage it."

"Excellent," Boss growled sadistically, before turning to his students. "And the rest of you?"

"Pass, I'd prefer to get more used to what Conis brought onboard," Mikey grinned as he spun a (thankfully unloaded) pistol around his flipper.

"Show-off…" Raphey snorted before shrugging and patting her sai. "Personally, I'm fine with my weapons the way they are." Donny and Leo nodded in agreement.

"Alright, then, if that's everything, I'd better get started," Usopp said, turning to head towards the storage room, Conis and Su following.

"Uh, actually, one more thing," I said quickly, causing the sniper to look back at me. "Usopp, whatever plans you make for incorporating the Eisen Dial for Nami, wait until we're back on the Blue Sea to put them in action; clouds can't normally form down there like they can up here. There's some way to make it happen, but you'll have to figure it out."

Usopp frowned, but nodded. "Thanks for the heads-up, Cross. In that case, Conis, I'll call you once I've got the blueprints started."

He turned to head back inside…

"Hold it."

When all attention was turned back towards the shoreline, where a relatively familiar figure who I hadn't had the opportunity to meet in person until now was standing.

"C-Captain McKinley!" Conis instinctively snapped to attention. "W-what are you doing here?!"

The captain of the White Berets smiled as he strode across the gangplank towards Conis. "Come now, soldier, did you really expect to simply leave Skypiea without a proper farewell? And I'm not alone in that sentiment either."

Before anyone could ask what he meant, the unmistakable sound of Dial skates came from the shore. Two much more familiar figures jetted out from the branches of the trees, coming to a reasonably smooth stop on the deck of the ship.

"Laki? Wiper?" Conis asked. While the berserker kept a neutral look on his face, Laki smiled kindly.

"Leaving without saying goodbye, Conis?" the sniper-guerilla chuckled fondly. "I suppose you're not as well-mannered as you'd like to pretend, huh?"

"Ah, w-well I, uh…" Conis started to stammer out.

"ATTEEEEN-HUT!"

Until McKinley clicked his heels and barked at the top of his lungs, causing Conis to snap to attention without a second's hesitation… along with the TDWS.

Boss gave his students a dirty look before snapping his flippers… somehow… causing the younger dugongs to sag in relief. "Clearly I need to… refine my training," he groused. His tone of voice was enough to cause his students to stiffen in terror.

Meanwhile, Captain McKinley stepped up before Conis, towering imperiously over her. "Reserve Officer Conis," he barked in a firm and official tone. "I have known you for many years. Over that time, I have watched you grow, becoming stronger with each passing month. Your training in the art of Sky Warfare has made you a strong soldier, skilled with every ranged weapon our arsenal could yield. You are, at minimum, my equal in strength, and yet you maintain the gentle heart that you had from the day you first requested training. You are an example to us all. In light of this, and in recognition of your valor in helping both to evacuate Angel Island and to topple the tyrant Eneru, I am pleased to officially induct you into the ranks of the White Berets and promote you to the rank of Commander, as well as placing you in command of your own unit: the White Berets… Straw Hat division."

McKinley maintained his stern expression for a moment longer before allowing himself a warm smile as he removed and unfolded a beret from his pocket and held it out to the angel.

Conis stared at the hat, stunned, before swallowing and shakily taking the beret in her hands and situating it on her head. It hid her antenna-like hairstyle for a moment until they poked through holes in the hat that I suspect hadn't been present a few hours ago. "I-I accept this promotion with the utmost dignity," she stammered out, tears shining in her eyes. "A-and I vow that I will put forth my best effort to maintain the integrity and valor of the White Berets from this point onwards, Captain."

McKinley grinned before snapping into that peculiar salute, legs together and left hand behind the head, index and little fingers raised. "HESO!"

Conis mirrored the action immediately, a tearful smile on her face. "HESO!"

"HESO!" came an echo from behind us. I turned to see that the Dumbass Trio, Sanji, Vivi, Carue (inasmuch as he could), and the dugongs had taken up the same salute, including Boss.

A slight bumping against my neck prompted me to look at Soundbite, who had an eyestalk cocked. I stared at him for a second before shrugging with a sigh. "Oh, what the heck…" I snapped into the pose as well. "HESO!"

"Heh," McKinley chuckled as he relaxed. "You've got good friends at your back, soldier. I hope your training and experience serves you well. Good luck, Commander Conis." And with that, the Captain strode back up the gangplank.

Laki was the next to come forward, still smiling at Conis. "Conis… I know we haven't known each other for long." She scratched her neck with a sheepish chuckle. "Honestly, I wish things had been different; it seems like you could have been the sister I never had. Well," she snickered to herself. "The relatively same-aged sister, anyways. But, that's not how life works. Instead, you're going straight back to fighting with a heck of an arsenal at your back. So, from one gun-wielder to another…" She dug her hand into the ammo pouch at her side and removed a pair of goggles, which she then held out to Conis.

"My goggles," she explained as Conis accepted the headwear and looked them over. "They've served me well over the years, but I don't think I'll have any more use for them in the future. The lenses are tinted in order to help deal with muzzle fla—" Her explanation was cut off by Conis catching her in a surprise hug, arms wrapped around her neck. Laki stood still for a moment before chuckling sadly and returning the hug, giving Conis a comforting pat on the back.

"Try not to get yourself killed down there, alright?" she breathed tearily.

"No promises," Conis chuckled back. "You know how crazy this crew tends to be."

"Don't worry, I'll keep her safe," Su piped up as she examined her own paw before tilting her head thoughtfully. "Well, unless it's funny, of course."

Laki out and out laughed when Conis slumped in her arms in defeat. "Of course! I wouldn't expect anything less!"

The two hugged for a bit longer until they extricated themselves from one another's arms, Laki giving Conis a final pat on the shoulder before turning back and walking back up the ramp, during which Conis took the opportunity to slip the goggles on and situate them around her neck.

Finally, Wiper stepped forward, his expression still neutral. If the way she stiffened was any indication, Conis was still a little nervous around the man, despite being on good enough terms with him that they could pass as friends. I noticed as he approached that he was carrying a small box in one hand, about the size of a decent novel.

"I know I'm not really your friend like those two, and I can't do polite worth shit, so I'll try and keep this brief," he bluntly stated. "With Eneru gone and my ancestors' wishes fulfilled, the worst battles of my life are behind me now. But if even half of what Cross said is accurate, you'll need all the strength you can get…" He trailed off slightly before sighing in defeat. "And… besides that, I owe this crew more than I can ever repay. So, I'll give you my strongest weapon to add to your arsenal."

He opened the box and removed its contents: a shell identical to an Impact Dial, except for the fact that it was midnight black so that the holes and shell were almost indistinguishable. Conis gasped.

"Is that—?"

"My Reject Dial. With the capabilities that this crew has shown already, I have no doubt that you'll be able to make use of it effectively."

"I… I don't know what to say… thank you, Wiper," Conis whispered, taking the Dial reverently. The berserker managed to crack a sincere smile.

"Good luck." He made to head back as well…

"Hey, Wiper, hang on a second!"

Before turning back as I moved over to him. I lowered my voice as I spoke the next words… and geeze, I was making a lot of investments today. "It goes without saying that we want you to keep that pillar safe for us. But if a certain…" I coughed into my fist in order to mask my chuckle. "'Spring-heeled dickweasel' shows up here, tell him that he can have it as a loan from us." I weathered the flat look he gave me. "Assuming you get into a fight with everyone who comes up here, and we both know you will—"

"Of course," Wiper flatly confirmed.

"Then you'll understand what I mean when you meet him."

The Shandian rolled his eyes before nodding. "Alright, 'spring-heeled dickweasel,' got it," he muttered. And with that, he moved back to the shore.

"ARE YOU NUTS?!" Soundbite hissed in my ears.

"Yes. Your point?" I replied calmly.

The snail opened his mouth to respond and then closed it, shrugging. "Another long con and high-stakes gamble?" he reasoned, audibly enough that the rest of the crew could hear.

"Exactly," I said as I looked back at them, which served to satisfy most of the crew.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Su piped up.

Most of them.

"I'll tell you later. For now," I said, grinning as I turned to my captain. "The day is quickly coming to an end, so with all of our earnings stored up, what say head towards our next adventure?"

"Right! Set sail!" Luffy yelled.

"Hold it!"

All attention snapped upwards, where a pair of familiar birds soared towards us before landing on Zoro and Sanji's shoulders.

"You're not staying with the Shandians?" Sanji asked.

"I don't think so," Terry said, still unusually calm. "Now that we know what really happened, and we know that Shandora is still safe, we don't have any reason to stay."

"Perhaps someday we shall return to Jaya to tell the rest of our fellows what happened… but for the time being, it would be an utter disservice to deprive you of my glorious physique," Isaiah said with a pose.

"OR MY POWER!" Terry said, back to the way we knew him.

"Yeah, right," Soundbite snickered. "THEY JUST realized that their game means JACK WITH HOW BIG the other birds ARE!"

"SHUT UP!" both of them screeched, which only made Soundbite and the rest of us laugh harder.

"Alright, now we set sail!" Luffy cheered.

"HOLD IT!" Soundbite yelled.

"WHAT NOW?" shouted most of the crew, myself included.

"I'M HEARING one heartbeat too many. SOMEONE ELSE is onboard," he said sotto voce, which dissolved the lingering anger. The snail concentrated a bit more before jabbing an eyestalk at the storage room. I gestured to Lassoo, who padded alongside me as I walked through the door, taking in the area. Another glance at Soundbite led me to a barrel… not big enough for a normal person to fit inside. I put the pieces together with a wry chuckle before turning around and waving to Zoro. The swordsman in question approached and grabbed the barrel, and as we left the room, he tossed it with no great regard at the growing crowd of Shandians, Skypieans, and Enforcers—Eneru's rampage and Gedatsu and Ohm's callousness having swayed around a dozen of them enough that they had escaped exile—gathering on the shore to see us off.

"HEADS UP, nascent rat INFESTATION HEADING your way!" Soundbite called out. The largest of the Shandians, Genbo, caught the barrel without thinking and was about to toss it into the water when the top suddenly shot off.

"GET-EM-OFF-GET-EM-OFF-GET-EM-OFF!" Aisa shrieked in panic as she leaped out of the barrel and started flailing her arms in a panic as she ran around in a circle.

"Get what off?" I asked her innocently. "We said we were getting rid of a rat and that's what we just did!"

Aisa promptly froze as she processed those words before snarling and shaking her fists at me. "YOU TWO-TIMING SON OF A—!"

"Aisa."

The young Shandian froze mid-fist-shake, cold sweat coalescing on her brow as she slooowly turned around to stare up at Wiper, Kamakiri and, most important of all, Laki as the three of them all glared down at her. Aisa was frozen for a moment before she tried to bolt for the Merry, but she hadn't even made it a step when Laki grabbed the back of her shirt and hoisted her into the air, heedless of her kicking and flailing.

"LEMME GO, LEMME GO!" the young oracle shrieked, pinwheeling her arms childishly. "I LISTENED TO WHAT CROSS SAID ABOUT THE BLUE SEA AND IT SOUNDS AWESOME! I WANNA BE A PIRATE AND GO ON ADVENTURES TOO!"

Vivi gave me a sidelong look. "What are you, Patient Zero for a new mutation of the madness Roger already let loose?"

"Hey, don't blame me!" I protested as I pointed at Luffy. "He's the one who infected me, I just happen to be more contagious is all, both intentionally and otherwise."

"Shishishi! I'm convectious!" Luffy snickered.

"That is neither a good thing nor the right word, Luffy," Nami deadpanned.

Back on the shore, Laki was entirely unaffected by Aisa's protests. "Aisa, you are thirteen years old. Even if you weren't practically my younger sister, I'd still stop you! You are not going and that's final!"

"But Conis' father is letting her go!" Aisa whined petulantly.

"Conis is twenty-three and she's packing enough heat for a full squad of warriors," Wiper drawled in a flat tone. "You, meanwhile, are underage and have little to no experience with combat."

"ONLY BECAUSE YOU NEVER LET ME DO ANYTHING!" she spat venomously. Aisa appeared to wind up for another outburst before pausing contemplatively. She then promptly switched tracks by waving desperately at our ship. "HEY, I LOVE ADVENTURE AND WANNA SEE THE SEAS TOO! CAN I COME WITH YOU?"

"SU—GAH!" Luffy was interrupted by half of our crew dogpiling him. I observed the skirmish for a second before shooting a grin at the coast and holding my hand up to my ear like a phone.

"Sorry—ktch—must be a—ktch—ad connection—ktch—try again some other time!"

"WE'RE NOT USING SNAILS, YOU BASTARD!"

"Sorry, can't hear you, going through a tunnel!" I called back before spinning my finger in the air and glancing desperately at the rest of the crew. "Go go go!"

I swear, you could hear the non-existent rubber burning we got out of there so fast. But the last words we heard as we sailed away were spoken with all the conviction of one of our dreams: "YOU WON'T STOP ME FOREVER! SOMEDAY, I'LL BECOME ONE OF THE STRAW HAT PIRATES, I PROMISE IT! I PROMISE!"

I watched Upper Yard start to shrink in the distance before sighing and slapping a hand to my face. "Well, that tears it. Call me crazy, but even if it takes months, maybe years, we officially have not seen the last of Aisa."

"THEN YOU'D better be able to fight off THOSE THREE AT ONCE WHEN THAT DAY COMES!" Soundbite crowed. It didn't sound that loud, but I had no doubt that it had reached its intended recipient.

"Joy…"

From there, it was about as calm and casual a journey as we could get from the White-White Sea back to the White Sea, and down to Cloud End, with Pagaya sailing alongside us in order to guide us to the very end. Once the gateway of clouds appeared in the distance, I surreptitiously caught Conis and Su's attention and made a shushing motion, which they thankfully nodded at, albeit Conis only doing so after Su whispered something to her.

All too soon, we'd arrived: Cloud End. It was a supremely literal name for the location, for while the true drop was obscured by the architecture, it was clear to see that past this point, the mighty Cumulo Regalis came to an end.

"So, this is the way out, huh?" Nami whistled appreciatively.

"I don't wanna gooo…" Luffy whined as he laid on his special seat, pouting childishly at the gate both due to our imminent departure and the… manual veto we'd put him through earlier.

"I know the sentiment all too well, captain," Boss shook his head with a sigh as he held a fist before his face. "But truly, to leave behind a paradise as we set out on the path for our next adventure… while it is not a Man's Romance, no…" He shot his fist into the air. "IT IS INDEED A STEP TOWARDS OUR NEXT ONE!"

"GO, BOSS, GO!"

"To think we actually sailed in the sky!" Vivi giggled jubilantly as she hugged Carue. "Can you believe that we actually did all of this?!"

"Bawewy, and da onwy weason I do is becawse I still smeww wike I should be sahved with owange sauce!" Carue snickered.

"Well, this is it…" Su whistled appreciatively as she eyed the gate.

"I know that I'll miss it…" Conis gazed backward longingly for a moment before clenching her fists before her chest, her eyes blazing with determination. "But at least I know that it will make our return one day all the more sweet, right, Su?"

"Right!"

Meanwhile, Pagaya parked his boat on a nearby pier and started running down the Island Cloud in order to keep up. "I'm sorry to say that this is as far as I can follow you! Thank you so much for all you've done, and please stay safe no matter what!"

"Goodbye, Father!" Conis waved eagerly at her dad, joyful tears glistening in her eyes. "I'll miss you, and I'll try and speak on the SBS as often as I can! I'll give Mother your best if I see her! Take care!"

"I will!" Pagaya confirmed proudly. "Now, hurry up and draw the sails, and hold on tight! You're in for something of a ride!"

"You heard the man!" Usopp crowed as he clambered up the rigging. "Let's get ready, it sounds like we're going to be going fast!"

Luffy's morose expression promptly vanished as he glanced at our navigator. "Nami?"

Nami smirked as she held up her Log Pose for all of us to see. "The needle's pointing downwards, captain. We have our heading!"

"Alright!" Luffy whooped as he leaped to his feet, pounding his fists eagerly. "That means that once we get down there, our next adventure begins! Come on! It's time for us to go home!" He shot his fist into the air. "BACK TO THE BLUE SEAS!"

And just like that, we reached the very edge of the Milky Road that heralded our return to the familiar and the end of this saga.

"Here we go…" Conis breathed as she gripped the Merry's railing.

As I eyed the sheer slope, knowing what was coming up next, my body reacted. My stomach blazed, my blood raced…

"Pff…"

And really, did you expect me to do anything else but laugh?

The noise hit the rest of the crew like a gunshot, causing them to snap their gazes at me in horror.

"Oh, no…" Vivi breathed numbly.

Lassoo snorted in a bored manner… before tensing and snapping his head forwards as he sniffed at the air. "Wait a second…"

"They know something we don't!" Chopper deduced with a wail.

Before anyone could say anything, the Merry tipped over the edge of the slide and started barrelling down the Road, gravity dragging us down at breakneck speeds.

"HANG ONTO YOUR EVERYTHING!" Soundbite hollered.

"Pffff…" I let slip as I felt the wind nip at me, pumping my adrenaline even harder.

"YIPE!" Lassoo yipped as he scrambled over to a rope from the Merry's rigging and sank his teeth into it.

Usopp, meanwhile, grabbed my shoulders and started shaking me furiously. "WHAT'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN, YOU LUNATIC, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?"

"Here it comes, here it comes!" Su repeated eagerly.

"I never dreamed I'd actually be able to experience this for myself!" Conis giggled.

"PFFFFFFFF!"

"Conis, Su, dear sweet angels both!" Sanji cried out in a simultaneously heartfelt and panicked tone of voice. "I beg of you, grace us humble mortals with an answer! What's coming!?"

Conis blinked as she was drawn out of her euphoria before smiling beatifically at Sanji. "Why, the drop, of course."

And not a moment later, we hit the curve, and silence reigned as the Merry leaped into the void.

What happened next… well, really now, do I have to spell it out for you?

In the face of us all floating from our nascent freefall, in the face of the great nothingness laid out far below us, in the face of everyone's faces…

"PFFFFHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!"

Was there any other option available but for me to roar at the top of my lungs with laughter? And I certainly wasn't alone, either!"

"BAAAAAANZAAAAAAAAIIII!" Soundbite whooped and hollered.

"Wheeeee!" Conis squealed childishly, her arms raised above her head like she was on a roller-coaster.

"TSEEHEEHEEHEEHEEEEEE! I FEEL ALIIIIIIVE!" Su cackled as she spun in circles in the free-fall.

Fifteen exhilarating free-falling seconds later, however, found us beginning a casual descent, suspended by an enormous octopus balloon. Most of the crew was relieved. I, on the other hand…

"PFHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN YOUR FACES!" I laughed.

"Now I get why you kept pulling this off two days ago, Cross: it really is fun!" Su cackled, rolling on the deck.

"I… I have to admit, that was funny," Conis said, giggling behind her hand.

"CROSS, YOU SON OF A—!" Sanji began, before melting at seeing Conis laughing.

"Huh. HAS ANYONE actually FINISHED THAT?" Soundbite questioned curiously.

"I'm pleased to say that they haven't!" I said cheerfully.

"I'll change that right now if you don't fucking apologize for making me think we were falling to our deaths!" Nami screeched, one second away from punching me. I opened my mouth to retort before a sobering realization hit me.

"Now that you mention it, I do owe someone an apology," I admitted sheepishly, moving to the front of the ship and patting the metal brace that supported our (I swear it's true) still-sweating figurehead. "Sorry for the scare, Merry, I just wanted to have some fun, is all. Don't worry, we won't let anything like that happen to you on our way to the next island, no matter what."

A solemn silence reigned on the deck as I felt everyone agree from the bottom of their hearts. Even the groaning of the deck sounded appreciative.

I then proceeded to ruin the moment by grinning impishly. "You've gotta admit, though, that was funny, huh?"

KLONK!

"OW!" I yelped, clutching my skull in agony. "The hell—!?"

Usopp held up the pulley that had clocked me with a grin. "Looks like she didn't think so!"

"But that admittedly was," Robin chuckled.

"PREACH IT, sista!" Soundbite chortled.

"The ship is alive?" Conis and Su asked in unison.

"Trust me, this isn't even the weirdest part of our crew," Vivi reassured them.

Conis stared blankly at her for a second before grinning in a slightly demented manner. "I am so excited and so terrified!"

I grumbled at the laughter of the crew for a moment before sighing morosely. "Alright, alright, I'll be a good sport and admit I deserved that. And I'll even still share the advice I was going to give out anyways." I pointed at our captain. "Luffy, as fun as I'm sure it would be, please don't climb up on the octopus and bounce on it." I held up a hand to forestall his whining before it could start. "It'll make the air go out of it faster, and I know you don't want to make the Merry suffer a belly flop when we just talked about how hard the journey's been on her."

Luffy's disappointment evaporated, and he nodded firmly.

"As for you, Usopp," I nodded at the sniper. "Without anything bothering the octopus, we should reach the bottom gently, no problem. Still, if you could use a Jet Dial or two every so often to top it off with air, it definitely wouldn't hurt."

Usopp nodded with just as much firmness.

"Right. Well, with that said, there's not much to do but relax and enjoy the view until we reach the bottom. So, I think I'll take this opportunity to wrap up this part of our story for the rest of the world," I said, pulling out the transceiver. I stopped, however, as that beautiful sound echoed from above us, and I smiled. "Hey, Soundbite, any chance of you being able to replicate that?"

The snail, with an expression of utmost solemnity on his face, shook his head. "Not in a million years," he breathed reverently.

I nodded. But still, to make sure that that bell stayed safe… the rest of the world didn't need to know that.

-o-

On a Marine battleship thousands of meters beneath the Straw Hat Pirates, and several dozens of miles away on top of that, one of the cofounders of MI4 chewed on her tenth cigarette of the day.

Jeremiah Cross's track record for accuracy had been astonishing, but she was simply unable to believe him when he disparaged Vergo like that. She had served alongside the man for so long, and he showed nothing but decency. She was certain that, if only this once, Cross was wrong. And then T-Bone made his vow, and all of that certainty shattered as Cross' words rang in her mind:

'You know as well as I do that nothing I've told you so far has been wrong.'

All she had to go against that was her own experience, and it seemed that for the second time that month, her worldview had been forced into a higher focus. First the Navy as a whole, and now Vergo… was she just incompetent at being able to see the truth of something, past the surface?

"Captain Hina!"

A pair of familiar voices wrenched her out of those thoughts, and she scowled at the two men. "I said not to disturb me unless strictly necessary."

"I think this qualifies, Captain: we've spotted the Barto Club! Should we pursue?" Fullbody asked.

Hina processed that, calling to mind the reputation that 'Black Bart' Bartolomeo had been gathering for himself; his bounty would break 100 million before long if not stopped. Her expression hardened; taking down an infamous pirate like that would help to blow off some steam.

"Full speed after them, fire as soon as we're in range," she ordered quietly.

"Yes, Captain!" they responded before running out. Hina made to follow before pausing, actually considering that idiotic but admittedly formidable duo: A former pirate who nearly razed a village, and a formerly famous Marine who accepted a full demotion to absolve his crimes. Opposite sides of the law, and yet they had become best friends. And they watched each other's backs every day, fully trusting each other. Up until now, she hadn't batted an eyelash at their sob story, simply accepting their strength in her fleet and ignoring them whenever it wasn't pertinent for her to pay attention to them. But…

Hina bit out a tsk as she kneaded the bridge of her nose. No, no, she couldn't afford to doubt them like that. She might have been wrong about Vergo, but so had the rest of the Marines. She couldn't be blamed for not catching him sooner. Fullbody and Jango were both egotistical and somewhat narcissistic morons, but that didn't change the fact that they had good hearts, that they tried.

Hina paused as she considered that point. They had good hearts. What if… what if she reversed the assumption? If there were Marines like Vergo who seemed perfect, to the point of being able to fake being decent all while utterly evil inside… then out there, amidst all those vile pirates on the high seas, the ones who—unlike the Straw Hats—depicted themselves to be as utterly ignoble as the Marines claimed… could there quite possibly be some who had some measure of good within themselves?

Her reflections continued in a similar vein until they came within firing distance of the ship. But despite the fact that the effectiveness of her spears lay in the fact that no ship could deflect them… the ship was deflecting them. No, it wasn't just deflecting them, it was slapping them away, full-stop with translucent barriers of energy. Barriers that slowly morphed into the form of… well, now, that was just juvenile.

"He's taunting us," Fullbody snarled, attempting to obliterate the ship through his spyglass.

"The Barrier-Barrier Fruit," Hina growled, gritting her teeth as she yanked the slack out of her gloves. "Come up alongside them. Hina wants to deal with them personally."

"Aye, Captain. FULL SPEED AHEAD, BRING US UP ALONGSIDE THEM!" Jango repeated to the rest of the crew.

The Barto Club made no effort to get away from them. In fact, they even had the gall to drop anchor and wait for them. And as the two ships came up alongside each other, several figures leaped and one animal flew over the gap between vessels. All present, even Hina, gawked at the sight.

"Hehahahaha! Captain 'Black Cage' Hina! Taking you down should be a nice boost on our reputation!" Bartolomeo cackled, his arms crossed over his chest and his fingers crossed over each other. Behind him was a veritable array of forces: half were merely commonplace everyday thugs that had followed him onto the battleship's deck, but the other half… the other half were an issue.

Half of the force was composed of a few individuals who stood out for how nonchalant and comfortable they seemed, as well as the aura of danger they all seemed to exude. Of these, there were three whom she recognized enough to elicit an aggravated scowl.

"Well, isn't this convenient? Hina doesn't know what hole you three crawled out of, but she's glad that you did. You three got away from me once, but it won't happen this time."

"Kyahahaha! Oh, Hina, you really think you have a chance of catching us again? There's a reason we joined up with this guy instead of laying low for the rest of our lives like the other escapees," Miss Valentine threw her head back and cackled eagerly.

"Laying low for the rest of our lives…" Mr. 5 droned contemplatively before shrugging. "Well, I for one would have been all for it, if it weren't for Jeremiah Cross essentially turning the kingdom we were trying to lay low in into a whole new kind of war zone, and one where we could barely show our faces, at that. So, when Bartolomeo came along, we decided to make a fresh start."

"After all, the last time we underestimated a rookie that was on the fast track to infamy, we paid dearly for it. So we chose to follow a winner this time," Miss Goldenweek said tonelessly, swirling her paintbrush over her palette in preparation.

"You'll regret that choice after this. Because unfortunately for you all…" the Captain hissed as she slammed her fist into her palm. "Hina is currently pissed,"

"Bring it on!" Bartolomeo cackled, lolling his tongue out.

Both pirates and Marines surged forward to attack—

"Don don don don!"

Before all movement froze, and all attention snapped towards the nearest Transponder Snail. As it let out another "Don don don don!", Hina looked back at Bartolomeo, who was staring at her neutrally. Then he smiled, chuckled, scratched the back of his head sheepishly, and blushed, of all things.

"Heheh… uh, any chance we can call a truce?" he requested in a hopeful tone. Hina stared at him, along with his companions, before ultimately sighing and extending a hand.

"Until the SBS is over," she agreed in a neutral tone.

Bartolomeo grinned (or leered, it was hard to tell with a face like that), shaking her hand with distinctly un-crossed fingers before snapping his attention to the snail, which one of the Marines duly picked up. Any lingering tension between the factions promptly melted away upon hearing the sound on the other end: a beautiful harp melody. Lawbreakers and law-keepers alike milled about the deck as the music continued for another minute or so, before finally, the familiar voice of Jeremiah Cross came through.

"Now, that's a pleasant way to wait. Well! Hello, loyal viewers, and—"

"Welcome back to the SBS," came a familiar voice.

"Welcome—really, Conis? REALLY?!" Cross groused.

"What? But earlier you said—?"

"HEEHEEHEEhoohoohoohahaha!"

"SOUNDBITE!"

Bartolomeo roared with laughter, and most of the other pirates and Marines listening chuckled as well.

"I swear, SOMEDAY I will manage to start this thing again!"

"Sure, when the OCTOPUS SHOGUNATE learns to FLY!" Soundbite chortled.

"…Well, stranger things have happened, so I'm still hopeful," Cross finally sighed in a tone of voice that said he actually wasn't. "Anyways, first things first: I am pleased to announce that as of a few hours ago, we, the Straw Hat Pirates, have officially recruited a couple of new crewmates, one of which is the harpist responsible for the beautiful music you just heard. You may remember them from my broadcast yesterday that was… shall we say, derailed?"

"Understatement," chorused several listeners, pirate and Marine alike, all looking rather green.

"But yes," came the female voice again. "Once again, I'm Conis, and as of now, I am the gunner of the Straw Hat Pirates."

"And I'm Su, a cloud fox! I'm coming along too because Conis needs me beside her to have half a chance of not firing a bazooka backwards again!" came another feminine voice.

"STOP BRINGING UP MY MISTAKES, SU!" Conis cried indignantly.

"And why would I do that?" the fox responded in a tone of honest confusion.

"HA! Glad you're ON BOARD, FURBALL! TWO annoying talking animals ARE BETTER THAN ONE!"

"Hey, watch it, slimeball. You're annoying. I am a superior being of grace, beauty… and snark."

"Those two together on one ship…" Miss Goldenweek started slowly.

"With the ability to speak to the world…" Miss Valentine queasily grit out.

"Whenever they so choose?!" Fullbody and Jango finished incredulously.

Mr. 5 dug a flask out of his coat and raised it in a salute. "Here's to you, sanity. I'm glad I managed to keep you around for so long." And with that, he started draining the bottle.

"Alright, if you two are finished, it's time we wrapped up the tale of Skypiea, and the city of gold. Unfortunately, the lost city is now merely a city. You see, Eneru managed to find his way there, and he stripped every bit of gold away to build his flying ship, the Ark Maxim. As you heard from Wiper yesterday, he used that power to destroy both Angel Island and the Shandians' home; only Luffy's immunity to lightning saved us all from being killed. But alas, though Eneru lost, he was not out for long; the last I saw, his Ark was sailing even higher than we were… straight towards the moon. Will he get there? Will anyone ever see him again? Maybe, maybe not, but the fact remains that the gold is gone."

"… He's a literal lunatic," Bartolomeo said, jaw dropped in astonishment.

THWAP!

"OW!" Bartolomeo yelped, glaring daggers at Hina as he held the side of his head she'd cuffed. "What the hell happened to the truce, bitch!?"

"In all fairness, Captain," Goldenweek cut in as she munched down on a rice cracker. "You deserved it."

"…tsk…"

"The only significant piece of gold that he never managed to get was the great golden bell that you all heard ringing out yesterday. Luffy managed to ring it, but circumstances led to it falling into the cloud sea afterwards; all that remains of its ring now are the Tone Dials that recorded it and Soundbite's abilities. And as for what few scraps of gold apart from that that escaped from Eneru's notice? Well… three guesses who they belong to now."

"And the NAMI rejoiced," Soundbite chuckled.

CRASH!

Hina's attention snapped back to the pirates, where the ostrich-sized feathery dragon—which she still couldn't believe—was pressing one pirate to the ground who'd had his sword drawn. The girl on its back had her arms crossed and was glowering darkly.

"Do you not know the meaning of the word 'truce?!'" she snapped.

"Thank you, Apis, Lindy," Bartolomeo sighed, shaking his head in clear disappointment. "Gin, can you take care of him?"

"On it, Captain," the insomniac-looking man said, hoisting the man over his back before jumping back towards their ship. Hina watched him for a second before pausing as a creeping suspicion entered her mind. Without even turning her head, the Marine Captain swung her arm behind her and was sadly not disappointed when she caught her own idiot duo as they made to rush Bartolomeo, binding them together for what had to be the third time that month.

She glared silent daggers down at them for a second before the sound of snickering snapped her attention back to Bartolomeo, who was leering down at the pair. "You ever wish you could just pump the missing gray matter into them?"

Hina stared at him for a second before chuckling in agreement. "Only every other day." She started to turn back to the snail when a thought occurred to her. Acting on instinct, she dug her emergency flask out of her coat and held it out to Bartolomeo. "Scotch?"

The pirate blinked in surprise before smirking and accepting the flask. "Sure thing!" He then waved at Miss Valentine. "HEY, TINA, HEAD BACK TO THE CANNIBAL AND WHIP UP A BUFFET FOR US AND OUR NEW PALS! AND MAKE IT MORE THAN JUST CHOCOLATE THIS TIME!"

"STOP CALLING ME TINA, YOU SHARK-TOOTHED ASSHOLE!" Valentine shot back, though she still leaped back to their ship.

"You let her get away with calling you that?" Hina asked mildly.

"Meh," Bartolomeo shrugged indifferently. "I piss them all off, they insult me, it evens out. And what about you?" He jabbed a thumb over at the smirking transponder snail. "Straight-laced Marine like you likes the SBS?"

Hina made to answer, then paused as a thought came to her, one that built off of her earlier contemplations. Slowly, she nodded in agreement. "Yes… yes, Hina does. It's an interesting story, actually."

-o-

In a dingy, rundown apartment, a Transponder Snail partially cowered in its own shell as it was forced to relay the global show. It had been glad to do so several times before, but those times, it hadn't been speaking to a hostile audience.

"But, though the gold is gone, Eneru's tyranny is over. Skypieans and Shandians have come together on the remaining island, and have begun working towards a new society of peace. With the war over, what more could they ask?"

BLAM!

The Snail suppressed a whimper as its eyestalks went ramrod still, unwilling to allow them to quiver even an inch lest they come into the line of fire yet again, rather than allowing the projectile to pass between them as it had done this time.

On the opposite side of the room, a huge, menacing vulture stared at the point of impact for a second before snorting and redirecting her gaze to the pistol she held in her talons. She used her wing to fiddle with the weapon's sights for a moment before laying it on the bed next to the rest of the arsenal she had laid out and picked out yet another gun, which she started disassembling, intently analyzing every piece as she went.

The Transponder Snail shivered fearfully as it continued to speak.

"Alright, so maybe that's kind of meaningless coming from us, who are sailing away from this mess with a small fortune harvested from the innards of a gigantic amphibious Sea King serpent. And no, I'm not making that up. But despite that, well… As much of a shame that it is that the bell is lost, at least it will forever be remembered, and the war's now over. Now, the people of the sky can look forward to a future of peace and prosperity!"

A squelching noise from another corner of the room caught the snail's attention, and against its better judgment, it chose to glance that way. The gastropod immediately regretted that decision, as it was then forced to fight against its own gag reflex with all its power.

The otter situated in the corner of the room shared none of the snail's disgust. In fact, it seemed to show no emotions at all save for grim determination as it grit its teeth and plunged a needle and thread into and out of its own flesh, over and over and over again, methodically sewing up a vicious-looking gash that was open in its arm.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the otter's stitching had fully spanned the wound, and without any pause, it gripped the thread in its teeth and yanked, pulling the gash shut before snapping the thread and tying it off. With its gruesome surgery completed, the otter didn't miss a beat as it withdrew a pair of vicious-looking knives from where they were embedded in the wall and started scraping them against one another, sharpening them simultaneously in a rapid-fire flurry of steel.

"So, that's the end of that chapter in our journey; as of now, we're slowly making our way back down to the blue sea… and I have to say, this sunset looks amazing. While we admire it, I think now would be a good time to introduce a new segment on the SBS: Sky Life with Conis and Su. For all of those dreamers or naysayers listening, take a listen to what the sky islands are like."

"Heso, everyone. I suppose the best place to start would be with that word…"

The snail glanced out the window longingly, staring out at the city laid out before it. As it stared, it found itself growing curious.

If the city looked beautiful from down here, what did it look like from the peak of the gigantic fountain that crowned it?

-o-

"Why am I not surprised?" Crocus chuckled wryly, listening to the Straw Hats' new gunner as she spoke about the science behind the White Sea and the White-White Sea. "Roger took the mother, and now Straw Hat takes the daughter. It looks like he may just be the one Roger was waiting for after all."

"—And so, with the added density, the White Sea is capable of supporting both ships and wildlife. Sky sharks can be a danger, but they're as much a delicacy for those who can actually hunt them."

"REPREDot dot dot dot!—SENT! Oh, A CALLER! Go for the SBS!"

A soft tapping noise followed.

"GASTRO-BLUR in effect, go ahead!"

"I'm just wondering, isn't the air thinner up there? I mean, if it's that high above the ground…" came a voice, blurred identically to the mystery crewmate's.

"Oh, yes, it's much thinner," Conis replied casually. "But we've grown used to it, and anyone who comes here can grow used to it as well. It takes anywhere from about fifteen minutes to over a day, depending on your constitution, but it's not hard once you've adapted."

"I see, sort of like climbing a mountain… but in that case, what's going to happen to you if you're heading to a much higher concentration of air?"

The silence that followed that question was deafening, though it was quickly filled by the sound of two pairs of feet dashing across wood and two voices screaming out "CHOPPER!" desperately.

Things were quiet again for a second until Su spoke up. "Did… did they just leave us here?"

"Humans are not THE CALMEST OF species… HOW YOU FEELIN', BY THE WAY?"

"Eh… can't complain, really. A bit heady maybe? Eh, we'll see. For now, though… HA! They've left us alone with a connection to the world! Wanna try setting a world record for annoying the most people at once?"

"DO I!? LET'S BEGIN!"

"Alright! Now, to start… ah…"

Crocus chuckled as the silence returned tenfold.

"…you got anything?"

"Nada."

"That's what I was afraid of. This is harder than it looks…"

"Why do you think we keep them around?"

"Fair point… damn it, we need a distraction!"

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE MUSICAL STYLINGS OF MISTER CONWAY TWITTY!"

"…was that a reference?"

"Damn straight!"

Crocus chuckled as the music began, absently considering that Florida must have a lot of musicians. But he still couldn't fight down a smirk as he thought back to when they had left Upper Yard, and their new crewmate had to get her sea legs. He hoped that doctor of theirs knew what he was doing. Oxygen poisoning was not fun, even if it was hilarious to watch.

Still, there were going to be quite a few saps who were in for the surprise of their lives. Nothing like watching a thin, attractive young woman punching out men three times her size and muscle mass.

-o-

"Okay, I think you're good," Chopper said as he packed away his instruments. "The slower descent is letting your body adapt much more easily. As long as you don't have any big shocks within the next few hours, you shouldn't have any problems."

"Oh, thank goodness," Conis sighed. "Those pamphlets you had about oxygen poisoning were…"

"Alarming?" I ventured. "Panic-inducing? Terrifying beyond all rational thought?"

"… One of those."

I nodded. "Alright, let's get back to the SBS… and hope that Soundbite and Su haven't driven the world completely insane over the past ten minutes."

Thankfully, they hadn't, nor had they chosen some completely tasteless dreck for filler music. I honestly hadn't thought they'd had it in them.

"Alright, loyal viewers, with the hopes that Soundbite and Su, who are currently looking entirely too innocent," I gave the pair a pointed glare, which got them both whistling in a manner that only heightened my suspicions. "Haven't done too much—though the view count suggests that they haven't, thankfully…" I looked around into the darkness surrounding us, grinning as I felt the (relatively) natural waves of the Grand Line rocking us back and forth. "Anyways, I'm glad to announce that we're finally back down to the grand blue ocean. Now, the question is, where have we—"

I cut myself off as my eyes adjusted to the dark and I took in our surroundings. Part of me was curious about how nobody had seen this coming, but most of me was fighting the urge to swear at the top of my lungs. I only partially succeeded.

"Oh, fuck me," I summarized flatly before tensing as I realized that I had to end the show now. "Ah, viewers, I'm really sorry to cut you all off like this, but something's come up aaaaaand I'm-gonna-have-to-call-you-back-BYE!" And with that, I hastily rammed the transceiver down in its cradle.

Not a moment too soon, because a moment later we were lit up like a Christmas tree and the screams of over a dozen sirens echoed around us.

"Cross?" Nami drew out in an apprehension-filled tone of voice.

"Ladies and gentlemen," I announced grimly. "Welcome to the island of Navarone, a.k.a… the impregnable and inescapable Marine Base G-8."

Cross-Brain AN: Significance of the Transponder number? See if you can figure it out; we'll say it in our next broadcast.