The Baffled King Composed Hallelujah
Richard Webber sat fidgeting with the papers on his desk. Everyone, including Adele, had left an hour ago, but he couldn't bring himself to go home yet. His secret, the one no one was supposed to know about was, was not a secret at all. Adele had known these twenty-five years. The pain she must have felt. She had stayed with him through it all. His affair, his alcoholism, Adele had been a pillar of strength. Yet for all of that he had stayed married to her more out of familiarity and obligation than real feelings of love. There was respect and affection, but more of the type shared by life long friends than lovers. He had loved her once, years ago. But that love had faded when he met a beautiful, whip smart, surgical intern named Ellis Grey.
He and Ellis shared a bond. Of their group of residents they were they only two who weren't white men. She understood him in a way that Adele couldn't. It had begun as two surgeon's going out for drinks after a long day and those drinks led to kisses, and eventually to trysts in the on-call room. Neither of them thought about their spouses or their families, in those moments it was just the two of them.
But they did have families. He thought back to the day Ellis had confronted him.
He tied the strings of his scrubs as Ellis sat on the bed smiling up at him. He leaned down and kissed her passionately. As he turned to walk out the door Ellis called after him.
"I've left Thatcher, Richard."
He spun around to face her.
"What?"
"I've left him. I can't pretend anymore. If you leave Adele we can be together, we can be a family- You, me, Meredith."
"Ellis, I- I can't just leave Adele"
"Why not!" She snapped. "You don't love her.
"She's my wife."
"And Thatcher's my husband, but here we are, in the on-call room as usual. Richard I love you! I have the courage to take this leap because I love you, so I'm asking you Richard to catch me. "
He turned to the door and glancing back he spoke quietly.
"I'm sorry Ellis I can't."
"Then we're done."
He walked out the door.
Two weeks after that meeting Ellis left to go pursue her career in Boston and Richard drowned his sorrows and cursed his cowardice in liquor, the only thing that seemed to allow him to forget Ellis or the future they could have had together. It wasn't an option. He had a wife and responsibilities.
Seeing Ellis in the nursing home on his weekly visits he was reminded of what they had together. But today speaking with Meredith and hearing Adele tell him that she had known about his infidelity he realized that trying to do the right thing had only led to a lifetime of pain, not just for Ellis and his wife, but for the child whose family was torn apart by his actions.
Richard was tired and what he really wanted right now, more than anything, was a drink.
A/N: I made this short, but I really wanted to get into Webber's thought. Right now I'm actually considering writing an AU fic about what Meredith's life would have been like had Richard left Adele and married Ellis. Let me know what you all think. Oh and thanks so much for the reviews, please keep feeding them.
