Disclaimer: I'm not Shonda Rhimes. These characters are her's I just like to play with them. Please don't sue me.
It's Not a Cry You
can Hear at Night
When Alex awoke it took him a bit to figure out where he was. Suddenly he remembered last night. He had taken a sobbing Izzie upstairs to her room and after helping her into some pajamas, possibly the first time he had taken off a woman's clothing without planning on having sex with, he helped her into bed. Settling into the rocker next to the bed he had fallen asleep watching her body shake with quiet sobs.
He knew he had messed things up. Sleeping with Olivia, mocking Denny, none of it had endeared him to Izzie. She probably hated him, but he couldn't stop loving her. There was something about her, maybe it was her smile, that made everything sparkle with warmth and a certain glow. After they'd had sex during the bomb incident, he had assumed that his affair with Olivia was forgiven, but he had been wrong. He realized very quickly after Denny came back to the hospital that Izzie only wanted sex. Normally he wouldn't have minded, normally he would have been over the moon about a "sex only" relationship. But Izzie was different.
Looking now at her sleeping figure he had nothing but regret.
"Denny?" Izzie's voiced quavered and her eyes fluttered open.
Alex got up from the chair and sat next to her on the bed, placing is hand on her back.
"He's not here Iz, I'm sorry."
She burst into tears again, and all he could do was hold her till she fell back asleep. There was a quiet rap on the door, and Alex answered, not wanting to wake Izzie up.
"Hey, how is she?" Meredith peered over his shoulder at the sleeping Izzie.
"No, but she will be eventually. She's strong."
"Are you going in today, rounds start in a half-hour?"
"I think I'm going to stay here with her, if you don't mind. I've got some time off to spare. Do you think you could tell Bailey I'm sick."
"Sure- not that she'll believe it, but I think she'll understand."
"Thanks." He looked at Meredith and noticed she looked like she hadn't slept well. "Hey you all right? I'm doing the whole, sholder to cry on thing, so you might as well tell me."
"I-I'm fine"
"Really? 'Cause you haven't looked this guilty since you slept with Bambi. You didn't sleep with George again did you?"
"No! No, I didn't have sex with George." She hissed.
"Oh, but you did have sex. So McVet got lucky then?" But the look on Meredith's face told a completely different story. "Wait- oh my- you did Dr. Shepherd!" He almost couldn't keep from laughing- seriously the girl was predictable, he was actually a little proud. At least she had gone after the person she loved.
"You can't say anything- not anything- to anyone!"
"Hey, sure it's none of my business if you want to play dirty mistress- so when did this happen?"
"During the prom"
"You're kidding- seriously, your reliving my high school years, except I never did it with anyone married."
Meredith rolled her eyes, and looked over at Izzie.
"Take care of her."
"I will."
Meredith began walking down the stairs and he called after her.
"Hey, Meredith."
"What?"
"Tell him you love him. I never told Izzie how I felt, and I don't know if I'll ever have a chance with her again. So tell him you love him. Besides it'll piss off the gyno-wench."
Meredith smiled sadly and continued out the door.
Addison walked into his office and slammed the door behind her.
"What the hell!"
"You asshole!" She flung the panties at him. "You screwed her last night!"
"Excuse me!"
"Don't lie to me Derek, you slept with her last night!"
Derek knew that it was now or never. If he wanted to end it, if he wanted to move on and get Meredith back in his life he had to be honest.
"Yes."
"You bastard!" She dashed at him trying to hit him, but he grabbed her wrist.
"Addison! Addison. Calm down." She wriggled out of his grasp and backed off.
"Don't tell me to calm down you asshole. You put me through hell the past few months because of Mark and you went off and banged your mistress!"
"Addison, I'm sorry."
"The hell you are. Are we even now Derek, huh? Are we even? Have you hurt me enough?"
"Believe it or not Addison I am sorry. I never meant to hurt you. What happened last night between Meredith and I wasn't planned. It just happened. I'm sorry I put you through so much. I really believed that we could work through everything, that I would forget about Meredith, but I can't Addison. We've just changed too much, we're not the same people anymore. We barely know how to talk to each other."
"We could go someplace else; we could try to learn how again?" She pleaded. She didn't know why only that she needed to believe that there was something worth saving.
"Addison, we were over before Mark, before Meredith. We could move any number of places and all our problems would still be the same. Too much has happened."
She hung her head and nodded. He was right. It wasn't about Mark and it wasn't about Meredith. They had changed they were broken beyond repair.
"I'll dig up the papers for you to sign" she said in a husky voice.
"Ok"
She began to walk towards the door and he called after her-
"Addison, I'm sorry."
"So am I Derek, so am I." She walked out the door, taking a deep breath she walked down the hall only to bump into a most unwelcome person.
A/N: Hey everyone! Thanks for all the great reviews- I love it. As for Mer/Der I know you want it- I want it too- but it's going to take some time he's got a lot of ground to make up with her. As for the unwelcome person- send your guesses my way. Oh, if you haven't guessed the chapters are drawn from the fabulous song "Hallelujah". I prefer the Rufus Wainwright version.
