Chapter 8 - Where is Home?

With the boys

Shirou was feeling tense and kept tapping his foot on the ground while Arthur was adjusting himself many times over in his seat. Similar to someone having issues with sleep deprivation while Archer just sighed at the pair. The three boys were left outside in a hallway while an auctions goes off inside.

"I thought women only took long while shopping." Arthur said.

"Stop complaining and Shirou stop doing that. You're both making me feel tense." Archer said feeling annoyed.

"It's not my fault, I should be worried. We aren't exactly the type of guys that should be around these kinds of places." Shirou said as he whispered the last part.

"Get over it, you're a master in the grail war. If you can handle almost getting yourself killed then you can handle waiting for an auction to end." Archer replied.

"Fighting is one thing. Legal and shady trouble are something else entirely." Shirou said as he nervously looked at the fine dressed people from all over the world.

Arthur and Archer did notice this and only hoped that they could avoid confrontation. These mixed groups of people didn't seem like the friendly sociable type to them. So it was best to avoid getting out of this in one piece and without a scratch.

With the women

The auctioneer slammed his gavel, "And sold! The shield goes to the young lady in the white dress!" he announced as the shield was removed from the podium.

Albedo grinned, "Now that you have both, will that be it?" Semiramis asked.

"That's right mother." Albedo answered before the auctioneer revealed the final item of the night.

"And now, a set of rings." the auctioneer announced as the handlers revealed a small case of two rings made of a foreign looking metal. "Legend states that there were five and three have gone missing. There are also rumors that they were made from a material that was destroyed due to natural disasters. Who wouldn't marvel at these beauties?" he asked.

Semiramis went stiff as she saw those rings, "Mother is something wrong?" Albedo asked.

"Albedo do you still have that ring your father gave you?" Semiramis asked.

Albedo raised a brow as she looked at her hand to find it there, "Why do you ask?" she asked.

"Compare yours and those." Semiramis told her.

The younger woman looked at the case and studied both of them. Albedo took the time to study their similarities before remembering something else. One of the rings is a practical copy of hers while the other one is similar to the one her father had.

"Mother is that..."

"My wedding ring." Semiramis interrupted as a tear escaped her eye.

"And for these beauties, the estimated price will be 25 million yen." the auctioneer announced.

Albedo gave her mother some sad eyes, "I'm sorry, if I had known I would..." she stopped as Semiramis raised her hand.

"I'm going to summon your father." Semiramis said as she got up and went outside to seek out Shirou.

With Naruto

"So where'd you get the truck?" Ban asked.

Naruto scowled as he raised a finger to his mouth, "Shush, you shush." he said implying it wasn't the same way he got his motorcycle.

"How do you think Saber is?" Meliodas asked.

Naruto sighed, "Probably fine, but she might be sad knowing Mordred went back with Aki. I still think those two got closer." he answered.

"A good trip with Lancelot always calmed me down." Ban added.

"See, uncle Ban agrees with me. Hey dad, did you and Tristan ever get into fights?" Naruto asked.

Meliodas laughed, "Nope, but he did have some conspiracy about me and everyone else taking over the kingdom. He even thought you were some evil dragon I created to help destroy Liones if our plan failed." he answered.

"Foolish little brother." Naruto said.

"Hey Gowther, you ok back there?" Ban asked looking out the back window where Gowther was sitting beside Saber who was sleeping.

"I'm well, but I think Naruto should have gotten a van. It might have been more wise if she was closer to an indoor state." Gowther explained.

"Don't worry about it. We're only a half hour away from Shirou's home." Ban said.

Naruto looked at his rearview mirror and saw the unconscious woman, "Maybe we should just watch sports at Shirou's next time." he said.

"I'm still getting used to this new world. How is it that people watch other people play video games and they make money off of that, yet you don't see anyone discouraging people who play sports and make names for themselves there?" Ban asked as he believed that streaming and professional sports weren't too different.

"One is considered to affect your mental health and often leads to internet bullshit. The other just playing sports where you get paid more than a regular salary man even if you don't play or win." Naruto answered.

"I really don't like this internet you talk about." Ban said.

"I don't like having to be born in different eras. One day a bunch of fairies find me and I'm trapped in seal only to find myself in slightly modernized civilization with castles and kings. Then I'm born from a noble family in the midst of war and more technology. Then I finally wake up in a more ancient looking Japan only to be given the tasks of travelling over many timelines." Naruto explained.

"At least I'm your favorite dad right?" Meliodas asked ignoring the part about dimensions.

"Yeah, I love you and mom, but it gets weird thinking about Minato and Kushina. Then Gargantos and Colleen (Mrs. Armstrong doesn't have a canon first name) especially since I lived for over a century which was normal for humans." Naruto answered.

"Hey you said you were trapped for a few centuries again right? So do you think time moved as fast in your current incarnations home?" Ban asked.

Naruto went wide eyed, "I am in so much trouble if I ever get home aren't I?" he asked himself.

"Don't worry, maybe there's some kind of time rule or something where it won't move if your gone." Meliodas said making some up from his head.

"Hopefully I don't want to think about the idea that..." suddenly Naruto disappeared and the truck lost control.

"Captain take the wheel!" Ban yelled as they were about to crash into a tree.

Meliodas quickly grabbed the wheel and made the truck come to a complete stop. All the while trying to wonder where his son was.

"Ok, Naruto is gone and none of us aside from Saber know how to drive." Meliodas said feeling a bit bleak.

"Do not forget that Saber is also unconscious." Gowther spoke up seeing that the King of Knights was still exhausted.

"Ban I hope you're ready to learn how to drive with me." Meliodas said as the Fox Sin raised a brow.

With Naruto (a new location)

Naruto appeared outside in a corner with Semiramis and Shirou who was in mid sentence, "...my parents and the rest of my family are dead." he said.

Shirou gave a panicked face before Naruto fell on his butt, "What kind of disturbing things are you talking about uncle?" he asked with Semiramis looking a bit grim.

Naruto picked himself up before realizing something, "Shirou, I was driving an automobile while you summoned me and Saber was unconscious in the back. So unless my dad managed to keep the truck from crashing, they have no way of getting back without teaching themselves how to drive." he explained also looking grim.

"Wait what happened to Saber!?" Shirou asked in a scared tone.

"Shirou that is not important. Husband, there's something I need to tell you." Semiramis said as she whispered everything into his ear.

"Don't worry Semi, I have an idea of how to deal with that. On a professional level first, I don't want cause unnecessary destruction." Naruto said making her smile.

"Maybe you should change. I don't think they'll allow fishermen inside." Semiramis suggested as Naruto looked at his attire.

"Forget about that, what happened to Saber?" Shirou asked.

"Long story short, I think she rebuilt her relationship with her daughter. Then something about a storm, I saw the loch ness monster again and Saber almost drowned trying to save Mordred. Don't worry, she's breathing and I left her in dad's care." Naruto explained while Shirou paled.

"You guys were on your way home right?" Shirou asked.

"Shirou stop worrying about your other girlfriend. Mom should be able to heal her up if she doesn't wake up right away." Naruto replied before discreetly opening his closet.

"She's not my girlfriend." Shirou said with a blush.

"I see the concept of polyamorous relationships still exist." Semiramis said earning a glare from Shirou.

Naruto came back a couple minutes later wearing a white suit with a purple waistcoat and white cravat (Ash Landers outfit), "What are we waiting for? I have an auction to crash." he said as he raised his wife's hand and kissed it.

"Always a gentleman when needed." Semiramis whispered into his ear.

Back inside

Naruto arrived and took his seat besides Albedo who lied her head on his shoulder. The man put a hand over his daughter's shoulder as he heard the random bids. Naruto rolled his eyes as he looked at the people bidding for them. Mostly elderly gentleman with consorts that were no older than 30. A couple of middle aged people with fine clothing that were surrounded by men with tattoos and suits.

All the while he kept a calm hand around Semiramis's palm. He could tell that she really wanted her ring back since the one he gave her was just from some jewelry store. That ring on display was made personally by him when he went digging around Assyria with his tools. There wasn't any amount of demonic or heavenly power he used to forge those rings. They were made by hand, by an amateur with no other ambition besides his undying love for a woman he devoted himself to.

"80 million!"

"95 million!"

"120 million!"

"300 million!"

"Going once! Going Twice!" the auctioneer said ready to slam the gavel.

Naruto gave an evil grin and raised his paddle, "1 billion!" he said making everyone go silent.

His smile turned to a look of seriousness which made the poor auctioneer look nervous, "Sold!" he said slamming his little hammer. "Enjoy your evenings everyone!" he said before signalling the handlers to work on payment.

Naruto later arrived in the room where the shield, bow and rings were taken.

"That is an estimated total of 1.17 billion yen sir. How will you be paying for these?" asked the clerk. Naruto scowled as he looked behind them, "Is there a problem sir?" the clerk asked as he and the security turned their heads before looking behind their backs all the way.

Before the realized it, Naruto quickly slammed them around the room until they were all unconscious. Sadly, his progress was hindered when he saw someone opening the door and interrupting him. Naruto scowled as a middle aged man surrounded by tattooed men in suits arrived.

"Let me guess Yakuza? Triads? Street punks who came out of retirement?" Naruto asked nonchalantly.

"You do not need to know anything. Now hand over the rings to our oyabun." one of them ordered.

"Like I would listen to Japanese Hitler." Naruto mocked as the group noticed how small the man's moustache is.

"This young man has great energy and great humor. So sad to see people leave this world so young." the old man said wiping a fake tear from his eye. "Get rid of him and take the jewels from his corpse if you have to." he said turning serious.

(Warning, scene may seem sadistic and graphic. Please leave if it disturbs you. Or if you find it boring and want to move on)

The group started to approach Naruto with various weapons ranging from blunt to sharp with a couple of suppressed guns. Naruto tilted his head before extending his hand as it turned black and revealed his talons. In a blink of an eye, Naruto had pierced one of them through the heart and pulled him close. The group gasped as Naruto removed his hand and rubbed the blood of the deceased man over his hair as if it were gel.

"You were right when you mentioned a young man dying. Unless, any of you would like to try your best against a two millennia old demigod." Naruto said as his sclera turned purple while his eyes turned black. (not the rinnegan)

"Kill him now! He's isn't human!" the oyabun demanded.

Naruto smirked as he smashed through the blunt weapons before lifting two men by their throats and tossing them into the walls. The other men winced as they heard disgusting snapping noises coming from their comrades. All the while a short rookie ran at the blond with a katana he took from a fallen rival gang member. Naruto grinned as he caught it between his fingers and snapped it in half before slapping the man's face hard enough to send him into a wall. Three more men brandished their pistols and proceeded to shoot at Naruto who used his agility to avoid them before clawing off their eyes out leaving them screaming on the ground.

One more started shooting at Naruto in the back which annoyed him to no end. Naruto quickly severed the poor man's arm before throwing him down and crushing his head with his foot. Two females came that looked Russian arrived beside the oyabun before pulling out their brass knuckles and ninjato and attacking Naruto head on. Naruto deadpanned as the one with the ninjato stabbed him in the heart. His response was to tamper with his blood before coughing it on her face making her scream as her face started to melt.

The one with the brass knuckles started to punch him out only for Naruto to knee her in the abdomen and slam her head into the wall a couple dozen times. Seemingly out of enforcers, the oyabun attempted to escape only for Naruto to lift the man up and slam him against the wall. Only for one of the blind men to get up and scream as he waved his katana around like a club. Naruto put an end to him by taking out the silver pen in the old man's pocket and throwing it hard enough to head the screaming blind man in the forehead making him collapse.

"Please let me live. I have so few years on this planet left." the old man pleaded.

"Yet you were willing to kill someone who was a child compared to you. Perhaps leaving you alive would continue the needless violence." Naruto suggested.

"Quick question! How did you know that pen concealed a knife?" the oyabun asked.

"That pen was a knife?" Naruto asked as he tossed the old man aside and went to pick it up.

Naruto examined it by opening the cap only to take a mix of blood and ink in his eye. The blond felt annoyed and quickly tried to wipe himself with the pocket hanky of one of the less bloody gang members. When he regained his eyesight, he saw the elderly leader brandishing a katana in his hands.

"For my ancestor's glory! I will take your head you demon!" the old man yelled as he charged at Naruto.

The child of Chaos rolled his eyes as he kicked the man hard enough to land on the ring case as well as crashing into the other cases of jewelry.

"Crap! See what you made me do you asshole!?" Naruto barked at the injured man before kicking him again. "Great, now its mixed in there. The last thing I need for Shirou to think of me is a thief. What would mama think of me then?" he asked himself as he forgot about the brutal slaughtering he just committed.

(End of gore if you can call it that. Hopefully this part is more interesting.)

A while later, Naruto came out with an ink stain on his head. Leaving his family and servants wondering what he was doing.

"Where are the items?" Arthur asked.

"I put them in the closet. I'll reopen it when we get home." Naruto answered before looking down.

"Naruto what have you done?" Semiramis asked crossing her arms.

"I had to steal some jewelry when I got the rings mixed up. So, I'm sorry to say this, but I am now a thief. Yes I am ashamed and I really hope that you all look deep within your hearts to forgive me." Naruto said as he showed signs of sadness.

"Why do I feel like that's not the worst thing you've done?" Shirou asked.

"Naruto let's just sleep on it for the night." Semiramis said as she wrapped her arms around him.

"Ok Semi, hopefully dad figured a way back home. Let's also hope baby Shirou is in bed by now." Naruto added.

Emiya residence

After a long day, Naruto returned with everyone to find that Meliodas figured out how to drive with Ban as Saber was being taken care of by Elizabeth. Meanwhile baby Shirou was sleeping with Diane and King making it easier to sleep at night. That left everyone else ready to go bed and prepare for another day of whatever craziness they find themselves in.

However, there was a slight change in plans for Albedo as she found herself sleeping alone in her parent's bed. Although feeling a bit neglected, she can only imagine where her parents sneaked off to.

The morning

Albedo woke up to find that her parents still weren't in bed leaving her a bit sad and confused. Only to walk into the kitchen and find them acting rather flirty before her father started serving breakfast. Honestly it's moments like those that almost made her turn green which made her realize something else.

"Mother, father." Albedo called out.

"Good morning Albedo." they both said as they pulled her to the dining room table.

"How are you princess?" Naruto asked kissing the side of her head.

"Good, but um. Were you two um?" Albedo started to stutter and blush reminding her father of that pale eyed girl from his village.

Semiramis decided to change the subject, "Sit down sweetheart, enjoy your breakfast. I know Zeref isn't here with us, but that doesn't mean we can't eat together like a family." she said as she wrapped a warm arm around Albedo who looked embarrassed.

Things seemed peaceful only for Albedo to continue looking nervous, "Something wrong dear?" Semiramis asked her.

"Did you and papa mate?" Albedo squeaked making them go wide eyed.

"I won't deny anything, but that is very inappropriate to mention at the table Albedo." Naruto said in a stern voice before people started coming in.

"What's inappropriate?" everyone turned to see Elizabeth walking in beside Meliodas.

"My parents were mating last night." Albedo squeaked again.

Elizabeth turned completely red hearing that while Meliodas patted his son on the back.

"So that's why I've never seen you grab your wife. You were waiting for a special moment weren't you?" Meliodas teased.

"Dad I grope Semi like you do to mom." Naruto replied.

"Its how I show my affection. I guess you're too young to understand." Meliodas said as he shoved his inside Elizabeth's bosom.

"Now my grandparents are mating!" Albedo said matching her grandmother's face in redness.

"You know with a face like that. You do look like your grandmother." Semiramis commented as another strange morning had continued.

And thus there was only room for embarrassment this morning. At least Shirou and the other boys didn't have to worry about Naruto embarrassing them. They had to worry about him trying to break them either mentally or physically.

Afternoon

Outside, Naruto summoned a few seeds only to poison them. He carefully placed each one inside a potted plant before leaving them on a table for each one of the boys to practice with. He instructed them all to try to use their power to at least save the seed in order to pass. They would be evaluated by time and energy usage, but a perfect score would involve the plant growing. It was relatively simple and should be done within less than an hour.

So for the next hour, Naruto sat and waited for them to ask for help if needed. Meanwhile Meliodas decided to sit beside his son and chat for the next while since things have been relatively calm since they arrived. Aside from that one demon attack and that serpent that Naruto assumed was the loch ness monster.

"Hey dad." Naruto said.

"Hey son." Meliodas replied.

"How are things with mom and the others?" Naruto asked.

"Same as always, but Elizabeth decided to spend time with your wife and daughter while Ban decided to head out for his new job and King is busy with the baby and Diane." Meliodas explained.

Naruto nodded, "Might as well spend some time with the kid right?" he asked with a smirk.

"I've been thinking about that since you were freed from that seal." Meliodas said.

"Yeah, I still have memories from the time mom didn't recognize me." Naruto said earning a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"You were pretty young back then." Meliodas said.

"Dad, I was 20, but I had development issues. Auntie Merlin can still turn back into a kid if her magic is cancelled. Now that I think about it, you look like a little kid too. I think Escanor was the youngest member of your group and he was 40. So you can't really say much about age." Naruto replied.

"Well that's just how unfair life is." Meliodas claimed making Naruto roll his eyes. "Hey back to your childhood, you said you can't remember how got your dragon powers right?" he asked.

"Oh yeah, you never got the chance to remind me. Things are still pretty hazy with the whole, reincarnating twice thing. Do you think you can help me remember?" Naruto asked.

Meliodas patted his back, "I don't see why not. Let's see, it was probably a year after my own dad was defeated again for the last time. You decided to be independent despite your uncle Zeldris and Ban volunteering to go with you. But you shut them down since Zeldris had to catch up with Gelda and Elaine was feeling sick before her pregnancy." he started.

"Yeah I think I remember that, Tristan was born like five years later right?" Naruto asked.

His father shook his head, "About three and a half. Almost four I think. Anyways, you were sending a letter every couple of weeks before you went off searching for an endangered animal. Only to learn it was a dragon that was near death. I didn't see it, but you were pretty detailed in your letters and mentioned some kind of absorption ritual or something. I can't remember, maybe if I had the letters they would help." Meliodas continued.

"Do what you can dad." Naruto said reassuring him.

"Ok, so let's see. I think I remember the name of one of them. There were more than one from what I can remember and, so the first one that comes to mind was... Odd Eyes? Does that ring any bells?" Meliodas asked.

"No, it must be a nickname or something related to its power." Naruto replied as he shook his head.

"Who knows, but one more thing. You said that they were a lot smarter and capable of speaking like a normal person. It was kind of hard to believe until you came home with scales and wings." Meliodas added.

"Well I guess I was able to start somewhere. All I know so far about my power is that I can partially transform." Naruto said trying to look at the bright side.

A few minutes later, Semiramis came outside with baby Shirou in her hands, "How are the boys?" she asked.

Naruto sighed as he can see something coming out of the pots, "They're making progress. Maybe I should have asked mom to help." he said.

"That might do some good." Semiramis said prompting her husband to seek out Elizabeth.

"How's the baby?" Meliodas asked.

"He's a little energetic and a bit high maintenance, but he reminds me the joys of being a mother again." Semiramis replied.

"You have that same face Elizabeth had when we found Naruto. Then we she had Tristan." Meliodas complimented as he could never forget a smiling mother.

"Ah ah ah!" baby Shirou said trying to get his adoptive mother's attention.

"Are you hungry?" Semiramis asked the baby.

The baby started kicking as he opened and closed his fists until Semiramis gave him a bottle of milk. Soon Elizabeth came out with Naruto and Albedo. Elizabeth approached the three boys and started talking things out in order to see if they had issues or halts in progress.

"Father, can I ask you about baby Shirou's transformation?" Albedo asked.

"I can't really say much sweetie. Your grandfather barely knew anything and apparently its some memory from a past life that I can't remember." Naruto answered making her raise a brow.

"Is it really that difficult to remember father?" Albedo asked.

Naruto laughed, "Ask your grandmother. She reincarnated 106 times before her curse was broken and she ended up having my little brother Tristan. Although would this count as 107?" he asked knowing that everyone had technically passed away before he reincarnated.

Albedo looked over to Elizabeth as she was telling them about confronting their feelings and overcoming the mental barriers they are facing. The pale woman didn't really understand what was going on, but she can imagine that her grandmother went through a lot in the many years she had been forced to live.

"Do you think I will develop your dragon abilities?" she asked.

"I don't know. I can see my demon side made you grow horns and gold eyes, but I haven't seen you use goddess abilities. I can only imagine Zeref being in a similar case." Naruto answered truthfully. "Then again I miss seeing those little sapphires you call eyes. You look so different without my eye color." he added.

Albedo rubbed the side of her eye before reaching for her horns, "Am I still beautiful?" she asked.

"The most beautiful, baby girl." Naruto said as he held her close to his shoulder.

As Elizabeth finished up giving them the boys their motivational talks, something went inside of Naruto's head. For a brief moment his eyes turned into slits as his eye color turned golden like Albedo's. His wife and daughter were the first ones to notice the strange look on his face.

"Danger... danger... home is in danger... must return home." a voice in his head said.

"Naruto?" Semirams asked as she approached her husband.

Naruto turned his head to the sky before letting out an ear piercing shriek. Everyone covered their ears in pain while baby Shirou cried in fear. That's when suddenly a few rings started to surround everyone in the yard minus Elizabeth and Meliodas as they were able to escape in time. Only to watch in horror as the rest was engulfed by the rings and a white circle under them before they all fell into the earth.

"Meliodas what is going on?" Elizabeth asked.

"It's the teleporting thing Naruto does! He used it when I told him you were in labor! But I don't why he's using it now!" he exclaimed as his son's family were all sweeped away.

Meanwhile Naruto finally snapped out of it, "Why are we falling into a pit of oblivion?" he asked.

"Uncle you idiot! You sent is into another dimension or something!" Arthur yelled.

"Pfft, that's literally one power I don't have Arthur. But we can play the blame game later." Naruto said as he sprouted five pairs of wings on his back and grabbed Semiramis while she was hanging on to baby Shirou who was crying. "Albedo, grab the boys. I'll try to find us a way out of here." he ordered.

"Yes father." Albedo said as she sprouted wings on her back instead of her hips as she managed to grab all three of them.

Naruto looked down and only saw an endless pit, "Albedo, if you can. Follow me back to the top." he said.

Albedo nodded and used all her strength to fly back up with her father. Both looked up and saw the bright blue sky knowing they were close to home. Within a matter of moments, they finally reached the sky.

"Careful with the boys Albedo." Naruto warned.

Albedo nodded and landed near the grass to dump the boys, "I thought he told you to be careful." little Gil said.

"Are you missing any limbs little brother?" Albedo asked.

"No but..."

"Then hush." Albedo interrupted.

"Uncle what exactly was that?" Shirou asked as he recovered.

"What was what Shirou?" Naruto asked as he was ignorant to the situation.

"That weird scream. You just tilted your head to the sky and screamed. Then the next thing we know, we're falling into that pit." Shirou answered.

"Seriously, I did that?" everyone nodded. "I should look into that." Naruto said as he was confused and scared at the same time.

"BWAAAHHHH!" Naruto turned to crying sounds from baby Shirou.

Naruto turned back to Semiramis and held the two, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I hurt you both didn't I?" he asked solemnly.

"BWAAAHHHH! BWAAAHHHH!" baby Shirou kept crying.

"It's ok baby boy. Daddy isn't going to hurt you or mommy anymore." Naruto said as the infant started to calm down.

"Naruto what was that?" Semiramis asked fearfully.

"I'm not sure Semi, but I will try to learn to control it." Naruto said when suddenly the pit opened again and spat Saber out.

"Saber?" Shirou asked as he helped the King of Knights stand up.

"Shirou, Meliodas told me about the portal and I went in after you to preserve your safety." Saber said.

"Wait, uncle and Albedo were flying us up in order to reach this place. You can't fly from what I understand. So how..." Shirou trailed off as he noticed the landscape.

"We aren't in your compound Shirou." Arthur said as he and little Gil noticed the land first.

"Dad where are we?" little Gil asked.

Naruto went wide eyed, "Holy..." he trailed off as he used his superior vision to look ahead. "Guys, you might not like it, but I sense a large group of signatures heading our way." he said.

"Is that a bad thing?" Shirou asked nervously.

"I'll find out." Naruto said running at top speed over there.

"Mom, is dad going to get into trouble?" little Gil asked.

"Ah ah!" baby Shirou squealed.

"In the name of Uruk, please give my husband the brains to not do anything stupid again." Semiramis said looking up at sky.

With Naruto

Naruto took a deep breath and went through his closet quickly. A minute later he was out with a trenchcoat, sunglasses, fedora and was setting up a chair and table. He sat there taking a few deep breaths as he waited for the incoming energy signatures. However, due to his wild personality and the sunglasses partially blocking his vision. He couldn't recognize some of the familiar faces.

(Kevin MacLeod - Doh De Oh)

Starting with the silver haired cyclops wearing a mask for his lower face, "Who are you sir?" the man asked.

"I am a man from the government. What you have likely noticed is an incident involving a blimp and definitely not a sign of aliens." Naruto replied in a stern voice.

"Wait a blimp? Should we help then? I have more than enough..." the man was interrupted by Naruto raising his hand.

"No sir, we the government can handle this." Naruto said.

The silver haired man sweat dropped, "Sir, I don't know if you are a stranger or anything, but I can assure you. That we are with the government as well." he said gesturing to his forces.

"Oh yeah? What branch?" Naruto asked.

"The shinobi corp." the man answered.

"I need to see some ID." Naruto said sticking his hand out.

The man handed him an ID, "My registration number and rank are all on there." he said with an eye smile.

"It's fake! Detain this man! He's obviously a Russian spy here to spread communism!" Naruto said as he ripped up the ID.

"I don't even know what you just said outside of the word, spy." he said.

"So you are a spy! Get him!" Naruto demanded.

Suddenly a red eyed woman wearing a dress of bandages waved her hands in front of him, "Sir please take your hands out of my eyes." he said

"Can you even see with those on?" the woman asked.

"You are not allowed to ask questions citizen." Naruto replied.

"What are you hiding?" the woman asked.

"Definitely not aliens if that's what you are wondering." Naruto answered waving his hand around like a jedi.

"Can you let us pass?" the woman asked.

"ID first ma'am." Naruto said sticking his hand out again.

The woman handed it to him, "Right here so please don't..."

"Also fake!" Naruto said ripping it up. "Next!"

"You just ripped up my ID!" the woman shouted at his face.

"I said next!" Naruto said.

Suddenly a blond man in a jacket with a flame design appeared in a yellow flash.

"What's going on?" the man asked.

"Hokage-sama, there was a huge energy signature and now there's this man barring us from going past him." said one of his shinobi.

"Next!" Naruto yelled as he ripped up another ID.

"Have you considered going around him?" the hokage asked.

Everyone else face faulted and immediately did that weird run they did. Only for Naruto to pull out a ranged weapon and scare them back.

(End of Song)

"I don't know where I got this gun, but you hippies aren't getting past me. You aren't getting to look at some aliens." Naruto said.

(A/N: Anyone remember those area 51 memes?)

The hokage went through the line and saw the man at the table, "ID please." Naruto said. The hokage decided to take away his sunglasses instead, "Hey I need those to boost my self confidence." Naruto whined.

"Naruto?" the hokage asked.

The man in question rubbed his eyes, "Dad? How are you alive? And why are you in another dimension?" Naruto asked.

"What? That doesn't matter. Where have you been? You've been gone for nearly a month." Minato said.

"Ok I know for sure I've been gone for a lot longer." Naruto said rubbing his chin.

"That doesn't answer my question." Minato said.

"Dad, we might need to talk in private. Better yet, make sure Kakashi doesn't hear us. He can't hold secrets." Naruto replied as Kakashi was listening in closely.

"You are all dismissed." Minato ordered as everyone left.

After making sure they were all gone, Naruto began to explain his entire life's story. The abridged version of all three to be exact or at least what he thinks Minato could understand. It helped that his powers were unaffected and was able to demonstrate them properly.

A half hour later

Minato was on the ground twitching and foaming from the mouth, "So you ready to meet your grandkids and daughter in law?" Naruto asked with a face that said that everything was fine. Minato's eyes were turned into X's, "Dad?" he asked.

Meanwhile, everyone else was waiting patiently for Naruto. Only to see him dragging his own father with him all the way back.

"Uncle did you kill someone already?" Arthur asked.

"Hey, when have I killed someone?" Naruto asked.

"There was that fat lady from the casino on her scooter." Albedo mentioned as she remembered that someone from the casino tried to take their money back only for Naruto to go berserk on them.

"She had a bad case of diabetes which lead to a bad stroke." Naruto defended.

"Those yakuza guys." Shirou said remembering that they followed Naruto.

"It was a suicide cult and I had nothing to do with them." Naruto lied.

"The local amusement park mascot." Semiramis said.

"That was a demon from hell and I should be recognized as hero for my actions." Naruto replied as he hid the truth about his fear of furries.

"Who's body is that?" little Gil asked as he accepted the fact that his adoptive father is a murderer.

"I didn't murder anyone. Sometimes I feel unloved." Naruto said feigning sadness.

"Then who is that man?" Saber asked.

"My dad." Naruto answered with a smile.

"But I thought we left Meliodas behind." Semiramis said.

"Meliodas is my adoptive father from my first incarnation. This is Minato, he is my birth father from my current incarnation." Naruto replied as he lifted the unconscious man up and compared his face with his own.

"But his hair is spiky." Shirou pointed out.

"Shirou have you ever considered investing in some products to straighten your hair?" Naruto asked.

"I knew it felt weird whenever we were in bed." Semiramis said as she always wondered why his hair felt oily.

"Yes, I have spiky hair that I can never control. Honestly, I always wished I had my mother's hair. But can you imagine me with red hair?" Naruto asked with a laugh.

Minato started to stir awake, "Oh kami, I swear I don't know how Sarutobi put up with this job for so long." he said before he noticed Naruto. "That wasn't a dream now was it?" he asked.

"Nope, I'm back and I don't know how to return back to Shirou's home. So for the meanwhile, you better tell mom she's expecting guests." Naruto said.

"Kushina is going to have a heart attack." Minato said as he looked at the extended family.

Uzumaki-Namikaze residence

Minato and Naruto lead everyone in as they were amazed at the massive estate, "Kushina-chan? I'm home and I brought visitors." Minato announced nervously.

"Minato-kun, I don't have time for this. Can't you tell your foreign traders or whatever they are to come back some other time?" Kushina asked from the kitchen.

"I think you'll want to put whatever it is your doing down." Minato said.

"Minato Namikaze! I am making my most special and delicious ramen! Unless this involves one of my babies or a world war, I need to get this done!" Kushina yelled furiously.

"I'm starting to see why dad fell in love with you." little Gil whispered to Semiramis who nodded.

"I found Naruto." Minato said meekly as they both made to the kitchen.

Kushina immediately dropped her kitchen utensils and ingredients. She turned to see Naruto removing an illusion around his cheeks revealing three whisker like marks.

"Hi mom." Naruto said nervously.

Kushina immediately tackled her son, "My baby boy! How could you leave like that!? Don't you know how worried I was!? Where have you been!? And why do you look older!?" she asked rapidly.

"Well..."

A half hour later

Kushina was also foaming at the mouth, "My first incarnation's parents didn't act so weird." Naruto commented.

"I honestly expected Kushina to handle this better too." Minato added before Kushina recovered.

"I'm ok, now... where are my grandbabies!?" she demanded.

"Albedo, can you come in with baby Shirou?" Naruto asked nervously.

"Uncle she cloaked herself again." Shirou said from the living room.

"Haha, Albedo might be a bit shy despite her eccentric attitude." Naruto said getting odd looks. "Nevermind that, meet my wife first. We can fish my daughter out later." he said as he lead them inside.

Inside he saw little Gil already sleeping on the couch as well as baby Shirou in his wife's arms. Shirou was looking up at the ceiling and Arthur was trying to stay awake from having to wait for so long. All the while Saber was carefully looking around the house.

"Mom, dad, you two might be mad that I didn't invite you to the wedding, but let me introduce you this beauty. Meet my wife Semiramis." Naruto said helping the Assyrian woman with the sleeping infant.

'Her ears are pointy.' Minato thought.

'Kami, she is so beautiful, but she better be a good wife to my baby boy.' Kushina thought.

"Nice to meet the two of you. I never had the chance when I married your son." Semiramis said as she shook their hands.

"So, you're the woman who took my son's heart? Well as long as Naruto's happy then I support him." Minato said giving her a chance.

Kushina was too busy gawking at the baby, "Who is this little cutie!" she said reaching for baby Shirou.

Baby Shirou heard that and opened his eyes to look around in confusion, "Ooh?" he asked.

"He's so cute! Let me see him!" Kushina said picking him and raising up the baby. She then noticed his tail and wings, "Why does my grandson have a tail?" she asked.

"Baba." baby Shirou said by some miracle.

"Oh nevermind that! He's so precious! I need to tell everyone that I have the most precious grandbabies!" Kushina said before turning her head to look around. "Albedo was it? Can you come out? I promise I won't bite." she said.

A few moments later, everyone turned at the sight of a couple objects moving. Naruto was going to carefully approach where his daughter only for Kushina to hand him baby Shirou. The Uzumaki woman carefully approached where she could see the objects move.

"Come here." Kushina said in an encouraging tone.

Before anyone knew it, Kushina quickly wrapped her arms around something they couldn't see. Only from the looks of it, she looked like she was wrestling a ghost. Only for Kushina to shush and stroke the invisible object she was holding onto.

"It's ok, granny's here. Now, let me see your beautiful face." Kushina cooed as she felt a pair of arms wrapping around her. Suddenly, Albedo dropped her cloak and revealed herself. The poor girl looked rather scared as her eyes met Kushina's. "I have the most beautiful granddaughter!" she said as she started squishing Albedo in a hug.

"She looks like your wife Naruto." Minato complimented.

"So does my son. Who I still need to find." Naruto said with a sigh as he rubbed his hand down his face. "Oh yeah, where are those two brats anyways?" he asked.

"Menma and Nori should be back today from a mission in tea country. I swear, I need to teach those two discipline sometimes. Where did I go wrong?" Minato asked.

"Probably when you mentioned that one prophecy. The one grandpa sage stopped listening to after you and mom almost died." Naruto answered.

"What's this about a prophecy?" Shirou asked as the other boys listened in.

Minato sighed, "A long time ago, my sensei Jiraiya was told about a prophecy about saving the world. To keep it brief, he thought the savior was an old student with the rinnegan." he started.

"What's that?" little Gil asked.

"It's a dojutsu, they're basically fancy eyes that give you superpowers. The rinnegan is supposed to belong to the guy who invented ninjutsu." Naruto answered as he let his father finish his story.

"Sadly the boy died a few years ago with his friends. Apparently Jiraiya was concerned over it until one day he told me about it. He thought I was the savior and literally about a month later, the kyuubi attacked." Minato explained.

"The what?" Shirou asked.

"A giant furry animal. The guy who made ninjutsu made them, but they're just energy called chakra." Naruto answered.

"Which means I wasn't able to kill it when it attacked. So I decided to seal it and in order to avoid death. Jiraiya sensei told me to split it. After having to listen to my wife about how jinchuuriki are treated. I just had to split it the chakra and the soul into my three kids. Surprisingly the chakra in Naruto was rejected and he was in a feeble body, but I'd rather not get into that creepy story." Minato finished.

"So basically the old man stopped mentioning the prophecy since it changed slightly every few years or so." Naruto added.

"Ok? So in the end, the old sage learned that maybe the reputation from teaching the savior wasn't worth it. Almost every student he assumed was the savior died. Now he just stopped mentioning it?" Arthur asked.

"Pretty much, besides my father is practically a son to Jiraiya considering the two were orphans and bonded over the years. It's why I refer to him as grandpa sage." Naruto said.

"Which he prefers over being called, "pervy sage" by my other children." Minato added.

"Is he visiting any time soon? I doubt he wouldn't want to know his adopted son's son and grandchildren are visiting." Naruto mentioned.

"Yeah, I'll get Kakashi too when he returns. Maybe Tsunade and Shizune too." Minato suggested.

"So a lot more family members?" little Gil asked.

"Pretty much, we're not all related by blood, but that alone doesn't define family." Naruto said.

Later, training ground

After settling it, Naruto realized that the portal he caused must have drained him. Meaning it might be a while before he's able to open a portal again. After a long talk, his parents accepted his new journey and didn't worry after thinking it over. From the sound of things, Naruto counted that for every one day he was gone. They counted for at least one century during his travels. Which did concern hom about how much time is passing in Fuyuki city.

Naruto would have to give the techniques a try. Before he could do that, he would have to retrain himself in using his dragon bloodline. That and at least in a timeline where everyone needs to learn to fight. He can put Shirou, Arthur and Gil's training into overdrive. So while his father returns to working on paperwork and politics, Naruto decided to get the boys in top shape.

"Ok so from the looks of it. I haven't been doing a good job in raining you guys." Naruto admitted making the boys face fault.

"Then what was the point of that!?" the three yelled.

"Honestly it was good for helping you three get a good grip of your powers, but seeing it now. Two of you are pretty weak and the other needs some help." Naruto said before looking at each of them. "Shirou you're more reckless than me and without Saber, Rin would have likely killed you. Little Gil, you're likely weaker than your older self and I haven't been able to test you in combat so I don't expect much. Arthur, you're the most capable since you can match Saber in a battle due to being her counterpart, but you could use the training." he explained his assessment.

The three nodded as they realized his assessment was true. It was painful, but at least he was willing to help them.

"So don't worry, by the time we head back home. You'll be just like me, but without the insanity and eccentricity." Naruto said reassuringly.

"Ok so what's the first step dad?" little Gil asked only to regret it.

"Run!" Naruto barked.

"What?" Arthur asked.

"I said run! Run fast before I punch in the back of the head!" Naruto yelled as his teeth looked pointy.

"Uncle how is this going to help us?" Shirou asked.

Naruto proceeded to punch a tree which demolished the nearby forest, "You need the speed and stamina boys!" he said as he started chasing them.

"AHHHH!" they all yelled in terror as they proceeded to reach a speed Naruto had never seen before.

"THAT'S RIGHT! MAKE ME PROUD BOYS!" Naruto yelled like a madman.

Semiramis and Kushina came out to see the training, "Is he always like this?" Kushina asked.

"My son and daughter were both laughing when he did the same thing." Semiramis deadpanned.

Albedo soon came out with baby Shirou in her arms, "Mother, grandmother, is father still here?" she asked.

"I'm afraid he's torturing the boys Albedo." Semiramis answered as she could see that path of destruction left behind by her husband.

"Oh well, let me know when he comes back. I still want to summon my ex's." Albedo said.

"I will remember to tell him when he drags the boys back." Semiramis said wondering how much energy those boys have in them.

"Care to explain what Alebdo means Semi-chan?" Kushina asked not noticing her eye twitch.

"Apparently, while I passed on and Naruto was trapped in his seal. My children ceased to age and while Albedo claims that she isn't aware where Zeref is, she was exploring the world as time moved on. Naturally she fell in love only to have her heart broken twice as the two died. Now she thinks she can resurrect them and make them her slaves." Semiramis explained.

Kushina had fire in her eyes, "That will teach them mess with an Uzumaki woman!" she yelled as she raised her fists in the air.

"Uzumaki woman?" the Assyrian asked.

"Well even though I refuse to share my baby with another woman claiming to be her mother. Albedo is technically my granddaughter with me genes making her 1/4 Uzumaki. Nobody, and I mean nobody! Messes with an Uzumaki woman's heart!" Kushina exclaimed.

"I think I do see my daughter in you." Semiramis said only for Kushina to take it as a compliment.

"Wait resurrect the dead?" Kushina asked.

"I think I need to explain that further." Semiramis said.

An hour later

Naruto came back with little Gil over his shoulder while Arthur and Shirou were being dragged in his arms. All the while Naruto's eyes were closed as he shook his head with great disappointment.

"Only an hour and even worse, you three were trying to hide. I'm not training for you all to run and hide." Naruto said as he made his way back to his family's home.

"Arm my legs still attached?" Shirou asked.

"I didn't go that far. I found you three lying down on the road exhausted." Naruto answered as he kept dragging them. "My godmother would have started throwing boulders at you three. You're lucky I take my time." he added as they groaned.

"Is it lunchtime yet?" little Gil asked.

"I don't think so. I'll ask my mother." Naruto said as he managed to make his way inside. "I'm home and I brought the boys. You might want to fire up the grill for them." he said.

"Oh good, I've been wanting to meet them, but baby Shirou distracted me." Kushina said coming out of the kitchen.

"Good, you can tell them how to get tough. They were passed out from running and hiding when I found them." Naruto said as he dumped them on the couch.

"You were soft with them right?" Kushina asked.

"Yeah." Naruto admitted.

"That explains why I don't see anything except dirt. If these three want to eat, then they have to work hard! Today is a freebie." Kushina said making them groan. "By the way, Albedo-chan wants to talk to you about her past lovers or something." she said.

"Alright, I'm going to use the sealing room if you don't mind." Naruto said as he went to look for his daughter.

"Sure thing, I'm making ramen so don't be late!" Kushina called out before helping her descendants.

Naruto quickly came back, "Have you seen Saber by the way? Usually she's near Shirou and I didn't see her the whole time." he asked.

"I think she's in the library trying to study the lay of the land." Kushina said making him nod.

With the sannin duo

"So have you found the brat yet Jiraiya?" Tsunade asked.

"Eh... no, I seriously doubt even with his bloodline, Naruto would just disappear and leaving only his fishing note." Jiraiya answered.

"Well hopefully Kushina isn't too upset." Tsunade said as she brought her finest sake.

"Tsunade-sama, you brought that gift for yourself." Shizune interjected.

"Not my fault if she doesn't want any." Tsunade said as they were right outside the Uzumaki-Namikaze residence.

"Ok, I'm sure..." Jiraiya was cut off by the sound of an explosion inside the house.

"Oh no PTSD! I can see the war against the homunculi again!" a voice from the inside yelled.

Jiraiya broke down the door to see Kushina setting up the table while everything else is fine. Meanwhile they could have sword they saw someone sitting on the couch only to disappear.

"Kushina is everything fine?" Tsunade asked.

"Yes, I'm sure Naruto's experiment went wrong." Kushina said.

"What?" Tsunade asked.

"Minato found Naruto and his... how do I put this? Naruto came back with his extended family." Kushina said.

"Are you feeling well?" Tsunade asked.

Only for the door leading to downstairs was opened revealing someone covered in soot and dust, "I think I might have to push it back a few days." he said.

"Who's this?" Jiraiya asked.

Kushina smiled as she ran up and wiped his face, "Don't tell me you forgot Naruto-kun's face." she said as she revealed his features.

"If that's him then why does he look like he's about to turn 30 years old?" Tsunade asked in disbelief.

"The opposite reason why young godmother looks like she 80 when she's 50." Naruto responded as he began to wipe himself. "You might want to find a comfortable place to have a seizure." he said.

Another half hour later

Shizune was twitching, Jiraiya was vibrating and Tsunade looked like she was dying from alcohol poisoning.

"And that is why the question about the meaning of life is bullshit." Naruto said ending his story. "Did I look like this when Semi poisoned me?" he asked as he looked at Tsunade.

Said woman came down the stairs, "Your eyes were bulging, but you were able to stand. For at least five minutes before stumbling out of my castle." Semiramis said.

"And you were so kind to have those guards fish me out." Naruto said trying to sound positive.

Kushina's eyes had twitched, "I'm still concerned by the nature of how you two fell in love." she said.

"You sound like dad. What happened mom? You used to be cool." Naruto said shaking his head.

Shizune managed to stand up first, "Is it possible to have a Yamanaka read his memories to tell the truth?" she asked.

"You sound like Tsunade and my dad. What happened big sis? You also used to be cool." Naruto said shaking his head.

"And I doubt with what Naruto has been through. A mind reader would be able to comprehend his mind without having their head spontaneously combusting." everyone turned to see Saber coming out of the library with a couple of books.

"Did you find what you need Saber?" Naruto asked.

"A little bit, the village and these elemental nations are rather tricky to understand. However, it's elementary compared to your life or the very least, what goes on in your mind." Saber answered.

Naruto just stared at her as a fly went through his ear and came out the other, "And your point is?" he asks.

*The audience laughs*

"Who's laughing?" Naruto asked curiously.

"Does this run in the family?" Saber asks Kushina.

Kushina just stared in silence as well as a fly went through her ears, "If I admit that, will it really matter?" she asked.

*The audience laughs harder*

"Where is that coming from?" Kushina asked as she also heard the laughter

Semiramis laughed as she kissed her husband's cheek, "My husband is just special is all." she says as Naruto hugs her.

Kushina pouts, "I wish I was at the wedding." she says in a sad tone.

Naruto sighs, "I don't suppose Albedo has the wedding album. Then again most of the photos are of the guests running in fear." he says getting odd looks.

"Why?" Kushina asks.

"Because of my origin, basic technology like cameras were foreign and people thought I was using witchcraft. Not that I wasn't using magic when I showed up." Naruto explained.

"You lived in a strange time dear." Kushina says as she places a hand on the Assyrian queen.

"Kushina, compared to our Shirou's timeline. You live in the warring states period which was from the year 1467 to 1615." Saber said.

"I don't understand how your calendar works Saber-san." Kushina says as she cares very little.

"Mom, in that calendar, cameras didn't exist until 1837. Television screens didn't exist until 1927, but somehow exist here." Naruto spoke up.

"Sweetie, you are a very strange person that's travelled to strange lands." Kushina replies in denial.

"You said that when I started wearing closed toed shoes." Naruto says looking away.

"Although it was funny to see you beat your old man by stepping on his toes." Jiraiya spoke up the moment he recovered from his shock.

"I don't like staring at my or anyone else's dirty toes ok." Naruto says just as Albedo came into the room only to hug her dress and cover her footwear.

Dinner time

Things went normal for now despite Kushina having to get more chairs and another table to extend it for Naruto's extended family. Tsunade and Shizune found themselves attached to baby Shirou who's cuteness was worth enough to grab their full attention. As well as ignoring his dragon transformation, but would ask Naruto more about it since he claims ignorance as to how he received that power. All the while he was telling embarrassing stories to Jiraiya and Minato about the love lives of the Shirou and Arthur.

"So Shirou basically decides to involve Saber only to back out because she said so. That's why I see her as my second daughter whenever these two disappoint me." Naruto reminisced.

The two men laughed, "Was she threatening him or anything?" Minato asked.

"Nope, she just said his name like it was a command and he backed out." Naruto answered.

"I guess for a grandkid, he doesn't have balls." Jiraiya teased.

"Hey I was just listening to Saber. I didn't want to abuse her power." Shirou spoke up in his defense.

"That doesn't explain the Luvia girl or big breasted nurse who you face planted." Naruto argued with a laugh. "Seriously, this nurse was unnatural. It had to be her family's magic which was similar to a bloodline. Those things make auntie Tsunade look like a washboard. No offense auntie." Naruto says as he notices Tsunade was too distracted feeding baby Shirou his mush.

"This is gold. If people don't buy it for the harem protagonist. It can at least be comedy gold." Jiraiya said catching his breath.

"Shirou why are you surrounded by pretty girls by the way?" Naruto asked.

"It's probably in his genes, Kushina had to help me beat them away. And she was literal in that sense." Minato said remembering how violent Kushina was as a child.

Shirou blushed as he looked back at the ramen, "Well Sakura is a beautiful girl. I can admit that at least, but I did like Tohsaka for a while. Except, I feel different about her lately." he admitted.

"Hey that's just part of growing up Shirou. You never know what it means to fall in love until... well that's complicated. I guess unless your me and have a thing for scary women, you just have to find your own way to understand love." Naruto said slowly going back to being serious.

"And that's how Albedo was born." Kushina saws as she wrapped her arm around her granddaughter. "Albedo-chan, how would you and your mother want to join me for a girls day out tomorrow?" she asked.

"Can we mother?" Albedo asked who earned a nod. "I'm so excited to explore the village with you grandmother." she said with stars in her eyes.

Naruto smiled at the sight of happiness. Maybe for once, he could just take this in and forget about the troubles of the other world.

"Mom! Dad! We're back!"

Naruto smacked his head on the table, "Uncle are you ok!?" Arthur asked as he and Shirou got up to help him.

"F*** my life!" Naruto said.

"The saviors of konoha have returned!" said a pair of arrogant voices from the living room.

"Uncle who are they?" Shirou asked.

"As much as I wish they were Alex and Olivier, they're actually my worst siblings." Naruto said as he ripped the bottle of sake away from Tsunade and shoved its contents down his throat. "Mom, dad, it was nice and all, but I have another dimension to return to." he said.

*Audience laughs yet again.*

"Ok who is doing that!" Naruto demands.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Remember to check out my new poll. I'm still not sure if I'll do Konoha's GioGio remastered first or just go straight to Seven Deadly Sins part 2. Sorry for not posting, I work on these everyday, but making all these stories at the same time was a horrible idea. See you all in a long time.