Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.


"Hello, everyone!" Shin, wearing his conductor's uniform, greeted his passengers jovially as he entered the car.

"HI, MR. SHIN!" Everyone cheered enthusiastically.

"How many of you are ready to go on an exciting adventure through time and space?" Shin asked.

"WE ARE! WE ARE! WE ARE!" Everyone cried.

"Good! Because this is a very special time tour… Because today, we're celebrating a special little girl's special day! Now, can anyone tell me whose birthday is it?" Shin asked with a grin.

Philia eagerly jumped up and down in her seat, waving her doll in the air. "Me! Mememememe! It's my birthday! MINE!"

Shin chortled. "I had no idea!" He exclaimed, which the entire Buzzing would've considered a lie if they hadn't known he was following a script. After all, it would be rather strange if he didn't know it was Philia's birthday, considering the tour had been reserved in her name, banners and balloons with "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PHILIA!" on them were hanging from the ceiling, and everyone was wearing party hats and T-shirts with "I attended Princess Philia's birthday and all I got was this lousy T-shirt" written on them. This looked especially incongruous on Mibojin and Antares, who sat there with their usual stoic looks on their faces.

Mibojin had a party horn in her mouth and was blowing on it every few seconds. It was hilarious.

Since Philia had insisted all of her favorite people come on this trip, all the Bugrangers and Arachrangers were present, along with Goro's wife Kari and his daughter Mira, who, along with Mibojin's daughter Kagami and their mutual girlfriend rising star athlete Scarabella would be serving as chaperones. As for friends in her (relative) age bracket, Goro's kittens Mei, Jun, and Shitsuki had been invited, along with Fuuka Ozu, Galacta, the youngest daughter of Lady Cosma, Sunlight Reflecting Off of a Babbling Brook After the Rainbow the Beefly Fangire (though everyone called her Neycombe), Veila the Pamphilus Worm, Cutaros the Red Panda Imagin, and budding young witches Luna and Aki, whom Philia had magnanimously allowed to attend so long as they remembered that SHE was Ariel's number one apprentice, not them.

(Ariel couldn't stop squealing over the Buzzing about how adorable the 'baby gays' were.)

Queen Apista herself had managed to take time away from her ever busy schedule to join her daughter for the party, rationalizing that it would be fine since she could handle any business that came up over the Buzzing while still being physically, emotionally, and mostly mentally present there for Philia, and Fuku had been left behind to pretend to be her in case any urgent business that needed her presence outside Hive City came up. Philia had been overjoyed that her mother was able to come, and as a result everyone couldn't help feeling a little elated by the queen's presence, with even the corners of Mibojin's mouth turning up a tiny amount in a smile.

Shin clasped his hands together. "All right then! Let's find out where we're going this afternoon, shall we? Cart, if you would do the honors?"

Cart, who'd been standing by, pressed a button on the wall, causing a hologram of the Earth and a very large digital clock to materialize before them. Even though nearly all of them had ridden the train multiple times, they still oohed and awwed, as was custom by now. "Now, it's time to SPIN! THAT! GLOBE! Princess, if you would do the honors?"

Philia gasped and glanced at her mother. "Can I?!"

Apista smiled warmly. "Why not? It's your birthday."

Squealing in delight and cheered on by her friends, Philia flew out of her seat and smacked the globe as hard as she could, causing it and the clock to wildly spin out of control while everyone, even the grown-ups, chanted, "Spin! Spin! Spin!"

(Mibojin was the only holdout, due to the party horn in her mouth, but she blew it in support while chanting it over the Buzzing.)

The planet spun and the numbers of the clock whizzed by, and, after several seconds, finally slowed and came to a stop. A flashing indicator resembling a cartoonish rendition of Shin and Cart appeared somewhere in a landmass resembling Africa, and the digital clock stopped at approximately 35 BCE. "Well! Isn't this exciting!" Shin proclaimed. "It looks like we're going to visit ancient Egypt, during the reign of Queen Cleopatra VII Philopator, the last active ruler of the Egyptian civilization!"

Ariel gasped in delight. "Ancient Egypt?! I've always wanted to go there!" She exclaimed. "The Egyptians knew tons of stuff about magic that's been lost to the sands of time – no pun intended – due to the decline of the country and the destruction of the Library of Alexandria! If I could get a look at some of those scrolls…"

"I wouldn't mind a look as well," Nushi added, equally excited. "The Egyptians were ahead of their time on a lot of things regarding math and science. While I'm sure a lot of that knowledge has already been rediscovered or is obsolete, I wouldn't mind seeing what nuggets of ancient wisdom they had!"

"And we can finally discover, once and for all, whether or not aliens helped build the pyramids," Mira said decisively.

Everyone stared at her. "Really?" Scarabella asked skeptically.

"Considering just how much otherworldly involvement and other craziness that's happened throughout our planet's history, you can't rule it out for certain," Mira argued, which everyone had to admit was a good point.

"Perhaps they will even have information on the remaining pieces of the Loom of Fate?" Aranea suggested hopefully. "I haven't had much luck finding any other pieces since our adventure in Infershia, and an ancient repository of lost wisdom might be a good place to check."

"It's worth a shot," Antares agreed.

"It is," Apista spoke up, drawing everyone's attention. "But remember, this trip is for Philia's sake. Her desires take precedence, since it's her birthday."

"It's okay, mom, if they want to check out the library of Alexandria, that's fine with me," Philia assured her. "I know how important this is for big sis, and if Ariel learns some new magic, maybe she can teach it to me!"

Aranea smiled gratefully at her little sister. "Thank you, Philia."

Aki frowned in concern. "We're going to ancient Egypt? Is that really a good idea? You burn really easily, Luna! And isn't Fuuka half vampire?"

Luna flushed. "Aki, I think I can handle a little sun."

"Really? Because you turned super red in like five minutes the last time we went to the beach," Aki pointed out.

Luna blushed. "That wasn't necessarily because of the sun…" She muttered, remembering how cute Aki had looked in her bathing suit.

Ariel squealed, noticing this.

"Don't worry, I'm immune to the sunlight," Fuuka assured them.

"Oh, because you're half human, making you a daywalker?" Aki guessed.

"No, I'm only a quarter human," Fuuka corrected her. "I was exposed to daylight the day I was born and disintegrated instantly. Fortunately, I inherited Mama and Mommy's immortality so I regenerated a few hours later, completely immune to the power of the sun."

Aki blinked. "… All I inherited from my mom was my eye color and peanut allergy."

"I like your eyes," Luna said softly, causing Aki to blush.

"Baby gays," Ariel whispered reverently, much to Nushi's amusement.

Veila nervously raised a claw from the leafy cloak she constantly wrapped around herself like a safety blanket. "Um. Mr. Shin? Is it, um, safe for us to go back in time to ancient Egypt? I mean, not all of us can pass for human. I-I mean, I can, but…"

"Oh, this your first time riding, kid?" Scarabella realized.

Veila nodded anxiously, intimidated by the much taller muscular ladybug athlete. "Y-yes."

"Don't worry!" Mira assured her. "Everything will be just fine!"

"That's right," Shin agreed, nodding to Cart, who wheeled out a… Well, cart down the central aisle, handing out stickers of a cartoonish Shin standing in front of the ShinLiner. Everyone who'd ridden the train before quickly put one of the stickers on, while those who hadn't followed their example. "First of all, everyone put one of these on, we can't leave the station unless all of you are wearing one… Okay, you've all got one on? Good.

"Now, most of you already know this due to either riding the train before, hearing about it over the Buzzing or word-of-mouth, or reading about it on our website but for legal reasons I need to remind you that it is of the paramount importance you keep those stickers on at all times. They're paradox inhibitors, which will allow us to interact with the past without causing any deviations to the timeline. They carry a bubble of the 'present' back in time with you, so that you're able to maintain a connection to the here and now that will make sure nothing and nobody in the era we're going to can see, hear, smell, touch, or otherwise affect you in any way shape or form."

"It'll be like we're invisible!" Galacta assured Veila, causing her to relax somewhat.

"I've always wanted to be invisible…" She murmured.

"That's kind of a bummer, I've heard that the ancient Egyptians worshiped cats," Mei complained, the tomboyish calico folding her arms with a pout.

"Our family would be revered, certainly, but can the same be said of everyone else?" Shitsuki queried, the gray tabby adjusting their glasses. "Shitsuki is uncertain how the ancient Egyptians would react to a sizable group of insectoids appearing out of nowhere, especially Mr. Kazamatsuri, who, as a grasshopper man, could potentially be mistaken for some sort of plague demon or ill omen given the negative stigma locusts carried in that part of the world due to how badly they could devastate a society as heavily dependent on agriculture as ancient Egypt."

Cutaros rolled her eyes while chewing on her bubblegum. "You're such a nerd, Shitsuki."

"Shitsuki shall take that as a compliment," Shitsuki replied.

"Shitsuki makes a very good point. None of us – especially me – wants to be lynched or burned at the stake by a bunch of superstitious locals," Shin agreed. "The temporal bubble will also mean we are still connected to the Buzzing or other networks of the present day, so your phones will still work and we don't have to worry about accidentally connecting to the Buzzing of the past and causing all sorts of paradoxes."

"Our phones will still work? Phew! That's a relief," Neycombe exclaimed, fluttering her beautiful stained-glass wings. "If I can't update my social media feed every five minutes, I'll probably like die or something. And that's not hyperbole, I found a way to feed myself by devouring the life force of my followers since I can't stand the human soul substitute I'm supposed to be eating."

Kari blinked. "Should… Should we be doing something about that?"

Ariel shook her head. "Nah, why do you think the literal fame vampires invented social media in the first place?"

Kari gave her a horrified look.

"The stickers also double as temporal homing beacons," Shin went on. "So if anyone should get separated from the group, the ShinLiner will be able to locate you and we can come pick you up no matter where or when you wind up. That being said, please try not to get separated from the group, this is supposed to be a birthday party, not a rescue party."

Nearly everyone groaned at that, which told him he had made a great dad joke.

"In addition, seeing as how not all of you are on the Buzzing, we brought a number of neural interfaces in case any of you feel like joining us on the network," Shin continued. "However – and I want to emphasize this emphatically – it is in no way mandatory for you to put one on. While being on the Buzzing will enrich your experience in ways it's a bit difficult to explain, if any of you feel uncomfortable opening your mind up to your friends and total strangers, you are not obligated to do so. And if you do try it but find you don't enjoy it, you can remove the interface at any point. This bears repeating: if you don't want to do it, you don't have to, even if everyone else is doing it. While Queen Apista wishes for everyone on Earth to join the Buzzing one day, it's your choice and your choice alone. Isn't that right, Your Majesty?"

Apista nodded. "Absolutely. I do not wish to force anyone to do something they are uncomfortable with. I am not my sister."

Kari smiled in appreciation, and some of Philia's friends relaxed somewhat, while others looked intrigued by the offer.

"You don't need to make a decision now, you can wait until we arrive to make up your mind whether or not to wear an interface," Shin continued. "Now, my lovely assistant Cart will begin the first part of the in-flight entertainment, so just sit back and relax because it's time to move out on our adventures through time and space!" He smiled. "Oh, and of course… Happy birthday, Philia!"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Everyone cheered, causing Philia to squeal happily.

As Cart began her ventriloquist act, Shin smirked to himself as he headed for the cockpit. Once this trip was over, the ShinLiner would once again be Philia's favorite train, and the Travelion could suck it!


A man in a shabby coat, ratty pants, worn sneakers, and tattered baseball checked a creased piece of paper, then gripped the knob on his front door tight enough to make his fingers creak, glancing fixedly at his watch.

Just a few more seconds now.

Just a few more seconds before his dreams came true.

For a moment, he wondered what he would do if this didn't work, but quickly chased the thought from his mind. It had to work. It just had to.

And if it didn't…

Then he would have nothing left.

The minute hand on his watch clicked into place, perfectly aligned with the hour hand. The second hand rotated around the clock face, getting closer… Closer…

Three more seconds…

Two seconds to go…

One…

All three hands were perfectly aligned.

He turned the knob and opened the door.


An hour or so into their trip (though it was kind of hard to measure time when time traveling, understandably), Cart took a break from juggling flaming chainsaws to bring out refreshments, with Shin joining everyone, assuring his passengers that the autopilot would be able to handle transit for a few minutes while he got a bite to eat.

Mibojin frowned at the selection of candy Cart was offering her. "This is not cake."

"Mother, there is cake waiting for us back at Hive City for when we return," Kagami reminded her.

"This is a birthday party. There should be cake here," Mibojin insisted.

"It is not your birthday party. Not every treat has to be cake," Kagami said patiently. "We are not having a repeat of your last birthday party."

"What happened at her last birthday party?" Mira asked.

"She wanted a cake baked to look like our sacred mountain fortress," Kagami explained.

"That doesn't sound so-"

"Life-sized."

Mira blinked. "Uhhh…"

"And she would've gotten it as well, if the elders hadn't put their foot down," Kagami continued.

"I'm sorry, how could she have possibly gotten a life-sized cake mountain?!" An astonished Kari asked.

"She asked Mr. Kougami."

Everyone nodded in understanding. That made perfect sense.

"Unfortunately, the elders refused to pay for a cake that large, so I had to content myself with a scale model only as big as me instead," Mibojin complained.

"'Only,' she says," Goro snarked.

"Mibojin, honey, I'm starting to think you have a problem," Ariel said.

"I do not have a problem. I can stop anytime I want to. I simply don't want to," Mibojin huffed.

"How the heck do you maintain that figure with all the cake you scarf down?" An incredulous Kari asked.

"Excellent metabolism, and a rigorous workout routine," Mibojin replied. Kari scowled at her, envious. "A better question is how Queen Apista can function so well despite being a raging alcoholic."

"I am not an alcoholic!" Apista insisted. "That would imply there is any alcohol to be found in my nectar, which there is not."

"Just a substance similar to Earth alcohol," Ariel joked.

"Except it has no adverse effect on my health whatsoever," Apista pointed out. "If anything, considering I'm still not fully healed from the wounds my sister gave me, an argument could be made that I should actually be drinking more of it to aid in my recovery."

"Is that an accurate argument?" Nushi asked skeptically.

"… No," the Queen admitted, causing everyone to chuckle.

Suddenly, there was an ear piercing scream, and the Bugrangers instantly shot to their feet. "That was Jun!" Goro cried.

"What could make him scream like that? He just went to the bathroom! And it's not haunted, this time," Shin wondered.

Kari blinked. "This time?!"

"Hanako-san squatted there the one time, it was this whole thing," Shin said vaguely. "We had to call the Mysterious Phenomenon Institute to try and exorcise her, and somehow Takeru Tenkuji drowned in the toilet, but was revived thanks to the spirit of Thomas Crapper, who gave him a new Eyecon allowing him to change into the Crapper Damashi and he flushed Hanako out into the time stream, which might be the reason she is simultaneously haunting bathrooms all over Japan."

Everyone stared at him. "That's. There's no way that happened. Right?" A stunned Galacta asked.

"No, it did," Cart assured her. "That was a slow weekend."

Wailing, Jun ran back into the car, a terrified look in the blue Persian's eyes that immediately triggered both of his sisters' protective instincts. "Mommy! Daddy! Big sis! There's a scary hobo in the bathroom!" He cried.

"I'm not a hobo!" A scruffy looking man shouted as he barged into the car, causing all the children to scream. "I have a house! I've just been going through a rough couple of decades, that's all!"

"Get away from my little brother!" Mira screamed, pointing a gun at the intruder, causing him to yelp and back away as a grateful Jun scurried behind her.

Kari's jaw dropped. "Mira, where did you get that?!"

"I swiped it from dad when he wasn't looking," Mira explained, not taking her eyes off the intruder. "Kagami's been teaching me sleight-of-hand."

"Well done," Mibojin told her daughter in approval, causing her to smile very slightly.

Kari turned her anger on Goro. "Goro, why were you carrying a gun to a birthday party?!"

"Kari, I'm a soldier and a superhero, I never leave the house unarmed," he replied defensively.

Mibojin nodded in approval. "A wise decision. I am currently carrying several dozen Shuriken, kunai, knives, and other sharp objects on my body."

"While I am a living weapon, who need not carry anything at all?" Antares bragged, flexing his very impressive muscles.

Aranea rolled her eyes and patted his biceps indulgently. "Yes, yes, you're very strong, good for you."

He frowned at her.

"Who the hell are you and how did you get on my train?!" Shin demanded. "There's no way you could've snuck on board, we would've noticed!"

Cart nodded. "Indeed, our security protocols would have caught you instantly."

The intruder gave Shin an incredulous look. "Who am I? Who am I?! You're joking, right?! Surely you remember who I am, Shin Kazamatsuri! I'm only your greatest rival and archenemy!"

Shin stared at him blankly. "Uhhh… You don't look like the Travelion. Or Goushima. Or Onizuka. Or Iwao Himuro. Or Kamen Norider. Or the guy who always shortchanges me at the deli. Or… WAIT! Cart, do you detect any cosmic fungus?!"

"Scanning… No, Master Shin, I'm not detecting any cosmic fungus. He has a rather nasty foot fungus, but he is not a minion of Queen Parasitica," Cart reported.

"You didn't need to tell them that!" The stranger protested, turning red. "You seriously don't remember me, Kazamatsuri? It's me! Masaru Aso!"

Shin stared at him. "… Yeah, sorry, drawing a blank here."

The man nearly facefaulted. "Are you- I'M KAMEN RIDER ZO!"

"Huh? He doesn't look like King Tokiwa-" Aki started.

"May he reign forever," all of the Earthlings chanted.

Scarabella scratched her head. "I really still don't understand why you people do that all the time, then deny you've been doing it."

"Doing what?" Mira asked.

"Exactly!" Scarabella replied, confusing her further.

"Not Zi-Oh, ZO!" Masaru snapped. "Why do people keep making that mistake? Our names aren't even pronounced the same! The only way a mistake like that could possibly be made is if it was written down in English or something!"

Shin snapped his fingers as realization dawned. "Oh yeah, Masaru! Hey! It's been a while. Sorry, I kinda forgot you existed for a while, what with all the awesome adventures I've been having lately."

Masaru gnashed his teeth. "Oh sure, just rub it in, why don't you!"

"You didn't answer the question," Apista said, hiding the anxious Philia behind her. "How did you get on board?"

Masaru smirked. "When you have a ticket to a time train, all you have to do to get on board is open any door when the hour, minute, and second hands of a clock all line up!"

"But you were never issued a ticket," Nushi argued.

"Which is why I made my own!" Masaru crowed, displaying a crumpled piece of paper that looked like an incredibly crude train ticket made in crayon.

Everyone stared blankly. "That… There's no way that should have worked," Shin said flatly.

"But since I'm here, clearly it did!" Masaru pointed out triumphantly.

"Okay, that… That's actually a huge security flaw, thank you for revealing that to us, the TTA needs to be alerted immediately to patch that-" Shin began.

"The who?" Kari asked.

"Time Transit Authority, they're the ones who oversee licensed time travel and gave me my certification," Shin explained.

"I am sending them a report right away, flagged highest priority," Cart reported.

"Thanks. Now, care to explain why the heck you went to all this trouble when you could've just bought a ticket on our website like everyone else?" Shin demanded. "We have very reasonable prices."

"Because I was certain that when you realized none other than I, your greatest rival, had purchased a ticket, you would've flagged me and refused me entry!" Masaru declared. "Also, I would've had to wait months to make a reservation, your tours are insanely popular."

"Yeah, they are," Shin said proudly.

"As for why I'm here… Kazamatsuri! You, Kouji Segawa, and myself all have one thing in common: we were all Kamen Riders who got a single, fleeting chance at glory, only one adventure apiece, before fading into obscurity, only making brief appearances during major crossover events if we were lucky," Masaru started to rant. "But then Segawa became the Warden of Monster Island, you made an unbelievable turn around and got a time train, a hot girlfriend, reunited with your son, saved the world, and joined a team dedicated to protecting the world from yet another invading alien empire… But what about me, huh? Where was my second chance?! While the two of you have been living it up, I've been stuck in the same crappy apartment as ever, waiting by the phone for a call to action that may never come again!"

"That's very unfortunate," Shin admitted. "But what does that have to do with you breaking onto my train?"

"Because, Kazamatsuri, my life may be ruined, but you're the one who's going to fix it!" Masaru insisted. "You have a time machine! And you're going to use it to travel back to 1993 so I can get a do over, fix my life, and become a real hero, with an extended series of adventures which will get a television and manga adaptation, at least one movie, and maybe even a few tie-in light novels, radio dramas, and anime spinoffs!"

"What? That's crazy! I can't do that!" Shin protested. "The TTA would impound my train, take my license, and I could get thrown in Time Prison! Also it could do irreparable harm to the fabric of space and time. Why do you think I've never done it to my own past? My life up until relatively recently has been even worse than yours! As badly as I've been tempted to change things, I'm smart enough to know it's way too dangerous… And I would never want to risk the friends and family I've made in the here and now because of what could've been!"

"But I have none of those! I'm all alone!" Masaru snarled. "How can you call yourself a hero, when you refuse to help someone in desperate need?"

"You're not in need, you're someone stuck in the past and incapable of letting go and moving forward," Shin argued. "Just like that asshat Hiryu Kakogawa, and we all know what happened to him!"

"I don't," Cutaros spoke up.

"He turned into Another Ohma Zi-Oh and tried to destroy all of time and space despite King Tokiwa-" Neycombe started.

"May he reign forever," nearly everyone chanted.

"But was defeated by a coalition of time traveling heroes, and Mr. Kazamatsuri was instrumental in stopping him by destroying the source of his power," the Fangire concluded.

"Kakogawa was an idiot, who wasted his power on revenge instead of turning back the clock and regaining what he'd lost," Masaru argued. "But I won't make the same mistake… And you're going to help me!"

Shin folded his arms and raised a skeptical eyebrow. "And why exactly should I do that? You are aware that just about every adult in this train car is a superhero who can kick your ass, right?"

"We can do it too!" Scarabella pointed out. "We won't even need superpowers!"

Mira nodded. "He scared my little brother. He deserves no mercy."

Masaru grinned, unnerving Shin. There was something ugly about that smile. "Because if you don't…"

He tore open his jacket, and everyone flinched back in horror.

"Then everyone on this train DIES!" Masaru cried, gesturing at the explosives strapped to his body, a detonator appearing in one hand.

The children started screaming and crying.

Eyes widening in horror, Mira started to pull the trigger, only for Goro to grab her by the wrist. "Don't! I recognize the make of those bombs, they've got a dead man's switch tied to his heartbeat! If you kill him, it'll set them all off!"

Mira gasped and immediately dropped the gun.

"Darling, you're trembling," Kari whispered, horrified.

Goro gritted his teeth. "I'd really, really hoped I'd seen the last of crazies wearing bomb vests. Not exactly bringing back good memories here."

Ariel grimaced as Goro's memories flashed through all their minds. "Yeah, thanks for giving all of us PTSD flashbacks, asshole," she angrily told Masaru.

"Are you insane?!" The horrified Shin shouted. "We've got KIDS on board!"

"Which gives you all the more incentive to do what I asked, then," Masaru retorted. "So get back to the cockpit and take us to 1993! And nobody try anything, or we all go boom!"

"Shin, keep him talking, it'll give us time to think of something," Nushi told Shin over the Buzzing as she frantically communed with the greatest minds of the Hive to try and calculate a way out of this.

Shin nodded subtly and glanced at Aranea, deducing from the glazed look in her eyes and the hand very firmly pressed down on Antares' shoulder that she was analyzing the Tapestry of Fate to try and find a solution to their dilemma, and keeping her bodyguard from doing anything drastic.

Okay. Keep the madman talking? That shouldn't be too hard, crazies always liked to hear themselves talk, and the more Masaru talked, the more time the big brains had to come up with something. He wasn't nearly as smart as his team leader, but he was smart enough to know where his strengths were.

"It's not just children we are talking about," Shin continued. "You see the beautiful bug lady here? That's Queen Apista, leader of the Hive, and the adorable little bug with her is her daughter, Princess Philia! If you set off that bomb, you won't be just killing all of us, you'll also be dooming the entire Hive, since the two of them are the linchpin holding their entire civilization together! And with the Buzzing collapsing and their species in disarray, that bitch Parasitica will be able to swoop in, subjugate all of them in one fell swoop, and conquer Earth and the rest of the universe since we won't be there to stop her!"

Masaru hesitated, but only for a moment. "Earth isn't short of heroes. Even if you're gone, someone else will always step forward to take your place. Hell, maybe King Tokiwa-"

"May he reign forever," nearly everyone chanted.

"Will finally get off his throne and do something about it," he finished.

"Maybe so, but at what cost?" Shin countered. "How many lives will be lost, not just here on Earth, but across the universe? You say you want to be a hero again? These are not the actions of a hero!"

"Yeah, but once I change history to become a big hero everyone remembers, I'll never have become desperate enough to hold an entire train hostage, so I'll never have done this unheroic act in the first place!" Masaru said triumphantly.

Everyone stared at him blankly. "That… That's not how time travel works, you fucking idiot," an enraged Shin shouted. "And even if it were, if you never became desperate enough to hold a train hostage to change the past in the first place, then you wouldn't have changed the past at all, and we'd be right back to square one!"

Masaru paused. "… You're lying!" He shouted finally, eyes wild. "I stayed up for a whole week watching time travel movies to prepare myself for this, and kept myself energized by drinking a ton of coffee and doing a ton of drugs! I know what I'm doing!"

Ariel facepalmed. "Oh gods, he's not the new Kakogawa, he's the new Swartz."

"I thought his real name was Susan," Mibojin recalled.

"Look," Shin said gently, deciding to try a different tack. "Masaru, you clearly aren't well. If you'll just put the detonator down, we can give you a berth in our nice, quiet brig to cool off before we drop you off with the time police for rehab-"

"NO! You're not taking me to time prison! There's no way I'd last in there!" Masaru shouted. "I'd get time shived at the first opportunity, assuming I didn't become someone's time bitch!" His thumb started applying pressure to the button on his detonator. "This is your last warning, Kazamatsuri! Take me to 1993 now, or I'll-"

Without warning, Aranea gasped loudly, and the Heart of Hera around her neck unleashed a brilliant blast of light, temporarily blinding everyone in the room. Masaru cried out in alarm-

And Shin immediately surged forward, shouting, "Shin Rider Kick!"

He slammed into Masaru, smashing him into the back of the car, a quick web from Aranea plastering his hand against the wall and keeping him from setting off the detonator. "I'm going to need to see your ticket, sir," he declared triumphantly. "We don't accept stowaways on this train!"

The children cheered. Neycombe, who'd been streaming the whole thing on her phone, giggled ecstatically as the likes and life force poured in.

"You're amazing, Shin!" Philia exclaimed.

Shin grinned. Yes! A child respected him again! Sweet, sweet validation was his once more!

"Great work, Shin!" Nushi cried. "And you too, Aranea!"

An impressed Apista nodded. "Indeed, I didn't know your necklace could do that."

"Neither did I," a confused Aranea said, glancing down at her necklace, which was still glowing. "Everyone, I… I didn't do that. I feel like…" Her eyes glazed over again. "Something is… Calling me…"

Nushi blinked, eyes flashing briefly. "That's weird, I… Think I hear something too-"

Suddenly, the train started shaking violently, Klaxons went off, and the lights started flashing red.

The children started screaming again.

"Cart! What the hell is happening?!" Shin demanded, grabbing the back of a chair to steady himself.

"There's been a sudden power surge!" She reported, still standing upright due to magnetizing her boots, something Shin and quite a lot of the passengers were rather jealous of right then. "All of our systems are fried, we're being ejected from the time stream! Master, we are going to crash!"

Shin swore and looked out the window as the shimmering temporal vortex they had been traveling through was replaced by a vast, sandy desert, and not the one time trains usually frequented.

It was getting a lot closer very fast.

"Everyone, brace yourselves! This is going to be one hell of a bumpy landing-"

The ShinLiner hit the ground, and everything went black.


In a camp miles away, someone noticed a huge cloud of dust rising off in the distance and dispatched forces to check it out.

In a city even more miles away, someone else noticed forces leaving the camp to check out the dust cloud and decided they might as well investigate themselves.