The opening sequence has been altered to reflect the events of the previous episode. Please read on rather than skipping it to see what's been changed.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything that doesn't belong to me.
The Super Sentai logo appears with its characteristic twinkle, then suddenly splits into dozens of golden bee drones and swarms away.
"While we humans believe ourselves to be the dominant species on Earth," Nushi says in voiceover as the camera pans over scenes of ladybugs nibbling on leaves, ants stealing food from a picnic, mantises dueling each other, grasshoppers creating music, butterflies feeding from flowers, spiders spinning webs, scorpions fighting each other, and bees buzzing in a hive. "In truth, we are vastly outnumbered by insects, with an estimated 10 quintillion insects alive at any given time. They've been here before us, and with any luck, they'll be here long after us. Personally, I find that kind of neat, and more than a little humbling."
The camera then flashed through shots of each of the Bugrangers and Arachrangers, the heroes admiring their respective insects in their native habitats.
"This is the story of seven heroes who used the power of insects to save the world."
The theme song starts playing as we see Nushi sitting at her desk in her college dorm, hard at work on her laptop. At an unseen signal, she glances up, rushes to the window, and looks down to see her friends waving at her from the ground, and the camera zooms out to reveal she isn't on campus at all, but in Hive City! Several drones swarm together to form the show's logo.
In this world we strive for harmony
Though it is hard work to achieve
As minds can be clouded by rage and envy
We must fight for what we believe
Nushi quickly rushes out to join them, hugging Shin and Goro, getting a kiss from Ariel, and tripping and falling when Mibojin sidesteps her attempts to hug her, a twitch that could be mistaken for a smile on the ninja's face. Aranea pulls Nushi up using a web line before she can hit the ground, causing her to flush in embarrassment as Antares bursts into laughter.
Hearts of human and insect synchronize
All together, united as one
Everyone's with you and you realize
This battle can be won
A screen wipe made up of ladybugs passes over the scene, showing a close-up of Nushi doing sciencey things, followed by a wipe made of ants to Goro pulling off some impressive trick shots, followed by a wipe made of mantises to Mibojin sparring against humanoid mantises, followed by a wipe made of grasshoppers to Shin in a conductor's uniform driving the ShinLiner with some cheering Hive children riding along, followed by a wipe made of butterflies to Ariel performing a spectacular magic show before an audience of awestruck bugs, culminating in a wipe made of spiderwebs to show Aranea weaving something while Antares trains in the background.
Red Ladybug!
Blue Ant!
Yellow Mantis!
Green Hopper!
White Butterfly!
Black Spider!
Violet Scorpion!
BUZZ ON!
The screen cuts back to Hive City, where the sky darkens, and giant centipedes and Funghouls start raining down. The Bugrangers look up in horror, then a look of determination forms on their faces.
Come on, look alive
Fight for the Earth and Hive
A greater fighting force you've never seen
The Divine Insects and Arachnids appear on their wrists, and the seven of them transform in flashes of colored light.
Sound up the alarm
Go and disperse the Swarm
You got the love of our Queen
The Funghouls charge at the heroes, who start fighting them.
Konchu Sentai Bugranger!
The camera suddenly splits in two, the Hive palace on one half, and the Swarm flagship on the other. Both views zoom in, passing through the walls to the throne rooms of the respective monarchs, briefly showing Apista and Philia and Parasitica and Vespi before zooming in again to show both Queens staring at each other in profile, Apista with regret and Parasitica with rage, the crystal containing the damaged Anthoph in between them.
A tale of two sisters once so caring
Until resentment tore them apart
One sister stood in the abyss glaring
And now rot has infected her heart
The camera then passes through shots of Nushi's parents; Goro's wife and children playing with some robots standing in the background while the Victoriders in their new suits, sans helmets, look on fondly; Kagami training alongside a large humanoid cicada wearing a cloth mask; Shiin, Inigo, and Mole Beastman raising their glasses in a bar; the entire Ozu extended family standing together, only for Kai to suddenly rush past, chasing after a pair of baby jackals; the members of Aranea's harem doing Bridge Bunny things in the control room of the Imperiarch; and Apista and Philia in the throne room, the former looking wistfully at a hologram of her old team, while Philia is dancing around with the Divine Insects in the foreground. Golden hexagons serve as the screen wipes.
But the Heroes never stand alone
Through the Buzzing you hear loving thoughts
A sense of belonging you've never known
But are worth every battle fought
Next, we get to see a series of action shots as Nushi slices Funghouls to ribbons with her sword, Goro pulls off a series of impressive head shots and trick shots to blow his enemies away before transforming into his super form and annihilating several dozen monsters with a single volley, Mibojin turns into a zigzagging flash of yellow light as she passes through a mob and out the other end, her foes exploding behind her, Shin hefts a massive ax around one-handed as he hops all over the place dismembering his foes, Ariel changes into her supreme form and obliterates everything around her in a fusillade of magic, Aranea shreds Funghouls with her razor webbing, and Antares impales monsters on his stinger tail.
Red Ladybug!
Blue Ant!
Yellow Mantis!
Green Hopper!
White Butterfly!
Black Spider!
Violet Scorpion!
BUZZ ON!
The camera cuts to the Fungigas gestation chamber as huge monsters begin to rise from the fungal sea along with an army of Funghouls, Vespi merrily dancing around with her doll without a care in the world. The camera then cuts again to a mysterious, very dark location, where a massive chained door covered in insect emblems shakes, ominous waves of power emanating from it as a terrified, fungus-encrusted Floragel looks on.
Come on, look alive
Fight for the Earth and Hive
A greater fighting force you've never seen
Aranea and Antares stand back to back on a moonlit peak, their Great Divine Arachnids rising up behind them as Aranea clutches a jewel to her chest, three crystals spinning around her.
Sound up the alarm
Go and disperse the swarm
You got the love of our Queen
The Bugrangers finish off their enemies, only to look up as a Centicollosus appears.
Konchu Sentai Bugranger!
(Musical breakdown)
All the Great Divine Insects and Arachnids that have so far been discovered on the show fly by one by one before combining to form Bug-Ōhi, and starts engaging the Centicollosus in furious battle with Arackaiserin joining in to help. The camera then rapidly passes through shots of every member of the main cast, each of them lip-synching a line of the song.
Seven hearts
seven Cores
One hive
One world
Bugs fight
Bugs Swarm
Make right
Buzz on!
Bug-Ōhi deals her foe a massive blow, and dramatically turns her back to it as the Fungigas explodes behind her, winking at Arackaiserin, who swoons.
Come on, look alive
Fight for the Earth and Hive
A greater fighting force you've never seen
The team reappears at the front of the palace, while Apista smiles and nods in approval from a high balcony, Philia cheering in the background.
Sound up the alarm
Go and disperse the swarm
You got the love of our Queen
The team turns and strikes a pose as the logo appears over their heads.
Konchu Sentai Bugranger!
Buzz Twenty: Walk like an Egyptian
The ShinLiner lay on its side, smoke rising from the engine, some of the sand around it glassed by the energies released from impact.
There was a flash of light, and everyone reappeared on top of a nearby dune. "Yes!" Philia cheered. "Nailed it!" She smirked at the dazed Luna and Aki. "Bet you haven't learned how to teleport yet, have you?"
The two girls, looking rather queasy, glared at her.
"Philia, that's not nice," Apista chided her daughter. "Also, very good job getting us out of there."
"Yeah, I think this is the first time you've mass teleported so many people at once! Good job!" Ariel congratulated her apprentice, causing her to preen in excitement. "And you did it perfectly, too!"
"Not entirely," said Fuuka, causing everyone to scream on account of her body being a grotesque mangled mess of limbs and organs with parts of her face strewn all over her body. "Don't worry, I'm immortal, I'll be okay in just a second!"
Her body started to contort and unfold in an absolutely gut-wrenching display of unadulterated body horror with much snapping of bones and spurting of blood and other fluids until, a few minutes later, she was back in her regular shape, looking completely unharmed, even her clothes not even the slightest bit wrinkled, the MASSIVE amounts of blood and viscera that had been ejected from her twisted form reshaping itself already soaking into the sand. "There! All better!"
Everyone rather violently threw up.
Several minutes later, once they'd finished expelling everything in their stomachs and Ariel conjured some water to keep everyone from dehydrating, a shaken Shin asked, "Is everyone else okay? Are we all here? Sound off!"
Everyone gave a ragged cheer, still traumatized by Fuuka's horrific transformation. Shin quickly counted heads among those who weren't connected to the Buzzing, relieved to see that everyone was present.
Everyone except Masaru.
"Oh shit, where's Masaru?!" He exclaimed in alarm. "Philia, did you leave him inside-"
There was a startled cry, and the sound of a body hitting the sand.
Shin looked over to see Aranea dragging Masaru, now thoroughly webbed up, up the side of the dune. "He was trying to make a break for it," she explained. "I doubt he'd be able to make it very far, but I figured you wouldn't want his death on your conscience."
"I have no conscience, and would have no problem killing him," Mibojin volunteered.
"Mibojin, no," Nushi told her.
"He attempted to hold us all hostage to suit his selfish goals and not only could have gotten us all killed, but doomed the entire Hive, and perhaps Earth as well," Mibojin pointed out.
"I'd be perfectly fine with killing him," Antares spoke up. "Just a prick of my tail, and he would never bother any of us ever again. I could make it quick, slow, painless, agonizing…"
"I said no," Nushi insisted.
"I do not take orders from you," the Scorpioni growled.
"No, you take orders from me," Aranea reminded him. "Mother? I'm going to assume you don't want him dead just yet?"
Apista glared at Masaru angrily, causing him to cringe. "A part of me would really, really like to watch him die," she growled. "But that's not the sort of monarch I am. We'll take him home, alive, where he will stand trial."
"And then be executed?" Antares asked hopefully.
"We don't have a death penalty," Apista said flatly.
"We could make an exception," Goro suggested.
His friends gave him surprised looks. "What? My wife and kids were on the train. He could've gotten them killed!"
"I certainly wouldn't mind clawing his eyes out," Kari growled, flexing her claws.
"I could put a bullet between his eyes," Mira offered. "I'm a very good shot. Dad taught me."
Masaru squealed in fright, muffled by the webbing covering his mouth.
"Nobody will be hurting anyone right now," Nushi said decisively. "No matter how much we really, really might want to. That's not who we are."
Mibojin and Antares coughed.
"That's not who most of us are," Nushi admitted.
"Speaking of which, how are we going to get back?" Veila asked nervously.
"Yeah, the train's wrecked!" Aki agreed.
"Eh, it's not so bad," Shin said dismissively. "The old girl's taken worse damage."
"Where even are we?" Galacta wondered, looking around, squinting as she shaded her eyes. "It's so bright! And hot!"
"I think a better question might be, when are we," Mei pointed out.
"Shitsuki believes both questions are valid," Shitsuki acknowledged.
"There's sand everywhere. I don't like sand," Jun complained. "It's course and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere."
Neycombe rolled her eyes. "You're a bit young for that reference, don't you think?"
He stared at her blankly. "Reference?"
"I don't mind the sand myself," Antares reminisced, looking happier than anyone except Aranea could remember seeing him. "This reminds me of home! Hot, arid, desolate… Just needs dozens of monsters trying to kill us and it'd be like I never left."
"Thank you for reminding me why I visited your planet as little as possible," Aranea grunted.
"I don't think I'd like to visit there either – where did you two get those easels?" A confused Kari asked Kagami and Mibojin, who had somehow set up easels and were painting the landscape.
"We always carry painting supplies around in case we see something that needs to be immortalized on canvas," Mibojin explained, not taking her eyes off her work.
"You never know where and when inspiration may strike," Kagami agreed.
Mira blushed and giggled. "She's made so many portraits of me, mom, you have no idea, it's kind of embarrassing, really."
"Not as many as me!" Scarabella bragged.
"I have made equal amounts of both of you," Kagami corrected the both of them, causing them to blush.
"Shin? Where and when are we?" Apista inquired, trying to get everyone back on track.
"Good question. Cart!" Shin called.
Cart immediately erupted from the sand next to him, startling everyone. "Yes, Master Shin?"
"Where and when are we?" Shin asked, quickly trying to pretend he hadn't been freaked out like everyone else.
"Scanning… We appear to be in ancient Egypt, circa 35 BC, give or take a few months," the gynoid reported.
"Aha! Right on target!" Shin cried.
"We were supposed to show up in the middle of the desert?" Scarabella asked skeptically.
"Well, no, we were supposed to arrive just outside Alexandria, but hey, at least we got the date right, more or less," Shin admitted.
"Is there any way we can get the train fixed up so we can get out of the heat?" Aki pleaded. "Luna's going to burst into flames!"
"Aki, I told you, I don't burn that easily," Luna, who was already almost as red as a boiled lobster, insisted.
"Cart? How bad is the damage?" Shin asked.
"Analyzing… Oh dear," Cart murmured. "That energy surge really did a number on our systems. We have emergency and backup power, but just about everything else is fried. Even worse, the time drive has been completely destroyed."
Everyone gasped in horror, while Aranea cringed, glancing down at her necklace in betrayal. "Okay, that's not good," Shin muttered. "Can we fix it?"
Cart shook her head. "Not with the tools we have on hand. Most of which were also broken in the crash."
"Then… Then we're stranded?!" Cutaros cried in horror, the bubblegum she'd been blowing popping and splattering all over her face.
"I don't want to die thousands of years before I was born!" Aki screamed as she throttled a dazed Luna, terrified.
"We can't be stranded here!" Neycombe shrieked. "There's no shopping malls or reality TV or indoor plumbing!"
Veila sighed, pulling her leaf cloak – already drying out due to the intense sunlight – tighter around her thick caterpillar body. "I always knew I would die like this."
Galacta blinked and stared at her in disbelief. "Really?"
Veila nodded. "The gypsy woman told me so."
"Don't worry, everyone!" Fuuka said cheerfully. "Her Majesty, Philia, Galacta, and myself are more or less immortal, so we'll just wait a couple thousand years until we get back to our own time and warn everyone about Aso to keep all of this from happening."
"Which does nothing to help us now!" Cutaros pointed out.
"Well, I could turn you all into vampires, I think," Fuuka suggested doubtfully.
"That won't work on me, I'm already a kind of vampire, with a much shorter lifespan!" Neycombe wailed. "And I'm starting to feel hungry right now. Pretty soon I'm going to need to eat someone's soul! Jun, I'll start with you."
"What?!" The kitten shouted.
"Try it and you'll be my next sushi meal!" Mira snapped.
Neycombe frowned at her. "But I'm not a fish. I'm an insect. That threat doesn't make sense."
"Yeah, and besides, I thought you said I was the only insect you would ever eat," Scarabella commented, causing Mira to blush.
"You're not touching my brother!" Mei snarled.
Shitsuki nodded. "Indeed. Shitsuki will eat your soul first."
Neycombe rolled her eyes. "Fine, I'll eat Aso instead, even though he reeks of failure."
Massaro screamed behind his gag and desperately tried to free himself from his bindings.
"Nobody's eating anyone!" Shin shouted in exasperation. "Look, this isn't as bad as it looks! Trust me, I'm an experienced and reliable time traveler, this isn't my first rodeo!"
"You have never been to any rodeos," Cart pointed out.
Shin looked at her in surprise. "Really? I haven't? But I visited the Wild West almost a dozen times… Whatever. If all of you will just calm down, you'll realize our stickers are all still working perfectly, meaning we're still connected to the 21st century. All of us who have a link to the Buzzing are still a part of it, which means that everyone back at Hive City already knows what's happened to us and are in a position to either build a new Time Machine to rescue us, or get in touch with any of the countless other people in our time who can time travel, up to and including King Tokiwa-"
"May he reign forever," almost everyone chanted.
Neycombe gasped. "Wait! Then that means…" She took out her cell phone, and was relieved to see it had bars. "Yes! Praise Dracula, I'm still connected to the civilized world! Looks like I won't be needing to eat anyone after all! Now," she said, firing up her social media app and blogging about her current situation. "Which of my followers shall I sup on…"
"And even if we didn't have a link back to the future, we'd still be fine, because all time trains are equipped with emergency distress beacons we can use to call for help," Shin continued.
Cart nodded in agreement. "Indeed. The beacon was damaged in the crash, but that, at least, should be simple enough to fix, due to all the multiple redundancies involved."
"And even if that weren't the case, the planet is lousy with ancient magical or super advanced artifacts that can enable time travel, mystical gateways, powerful wizards and sages who know a thing or two about time magic, and naturally occurring time portals, and Cart's memory banks contain the location of each and every one of them," Shin continued, patting the gynoid on the shoulder. "So our current state is nothing but a temporary setback. You see? We're going to be just fine."
Everyone sagged in relief at this, except for Kagami and Mibojin, who had been more or less ignoring everyone and continuing to paint the scenery. "But wait," Kari spoke up. "If everyone back home knows what happened, then shouldn't someone have already showed up to rescue us?"
"Maybe we just need to give them a minute?" Ariel suggested.
They waited a minute. No Time Machine or time traveler materialized to take them home.
"Maybe we need to give them more time?" Nushi asked, getting a little worried.
"Does the Hive even know how to make a Time Machine?" Goro asked.
Apista nodded. "They've studied the schematics of the ShinLiner extensively, and the engineers have already started working on a new Time Machine while our diplomats are trying to get in touch with King Tokiwa-"
"May he reign forever," nearly everyone chanted.
Apista tried not to roll her eyes. "And those other time travelers. Maybe since we have a real-time connection to the present, we need to wait until as much time has passed here as it has in our time for them to get help before that help actually arrives?"
"Oh, you mean San Dimas time!" Ariel exclaimed. "Like in Bill and Ted!"
"There is actually no evidence that time worked that way in those movies," Shitsuki argued.
"Not to mention it doesn't really make sense for time to work that way in the first place," Nushi added.
"Right, though it does happen sometimes," Shin said vaguely. "Time's funny that way, it sometimes depends on what method you're using… Anyway, the reason nobody showed up to help us yet is probably because we're going to get ourselves out of this mess right now."
Everyone gave him confused looks. "What? How?" Luna asked.
"I thought Cart said the time drive was totally wrecked," Antares pointed out.
"And that we couldn't fix it," Aranea added.
Shin chuckled and winked. "Oh, this is going to be fun. Everyone, look around for any significant landmarks."
They gave him a skeptical look. "We're in the middle of the desert," Neycombe pointed out. "There's nothing here."
Antares scoffed. "Spoken like someone who's never been to a desert before." He frowned. "Although… there doesn't really seem to be much in this one…"
"Not true," Mibojin corrected him. "There is a rock shaped like a cake right over here," she said, pointing at the incomplete – but stunning – painting on her canvas, indicating a spot on the next dune over.
Everyone gathered around her to look at the canvas, then glanced over at the next dune, where there was indeed a rock somewhat resembling a cake. "Huh," Goro remarked "what you know, that does kind of look like a cake."
Kagami rolled her eyes. "Of course something like that would stand out to her…"
"I'm hungry, and this is a birthday party," Mibojin retorted. "There was supposed to be cake."
Kagami snorted. "It's not your birthday, Mother, it's Philia's, which means you can't simply devour the whole thing-"
"Great, that'll work," Shin interrupted them. "Goro, Antares, mind giving me a hand?"
"What are we doing?" Antares asked suspiciously.
Goro gave Shin an incredulous look, having read his mind and seen what he was up to. "But that's… No, there's no way that'll work… Will it?"
"It will," Shin assured him. "Like I said, this isn't my first rodeo! Speaking of which, Cart, make a note, the next time we're in the Wild West, we should go to a rodeo."
"Yes, Master," she replied.
The three men headed to the cake-shaped rock, just about everyone else following behind them; those linked to the Buzzing already knowing Shin's plan and curious to see if it would actually work, everyone else having no idea what was happening and desperately wanting clarification. They also dragged Aso behind them, because they were in a somewhat vindictive mood and wanted him to suffer.
Mibojin and Kagami stayed behind, more interested in their artwork.
Once they had reached the rock, Shin led his comrades in digging at its base.
"I do not understand why we are doing this," Antares complained.
"You'll see soon enough," Shin promised.
Sure enough, a few minutes later, they struck something hard. Shin wiped away some sand from the surface of the object they had uncovered, revealing the top of a crate with the words, "TIME TRAIN REPAIR KIT" written on it in big red letters.
Goro's jaw dropped. "No way," he said in disbelief. "It actually worked!"
"Told you it would," Shin said smugly.
"I do not understand," Antares said, staring at the crate in bewilderment. "How… How did this get here?!"
"Maybe this is a place where time travelers regularly leave emergency repair kits?" Veila suggested.
"That's dumb," Aki spoke up loudly, causing the shy Worm to flinch. "That would imply time travelers crash here all the time!"
"But then where did it come from?" A baffled Luna asked.
"Oh, I put it here," Shin said casually.
Those not linked to the Buzzing stared at him in confusion. "… Then… Wait, you knew we would get stuck here?!" Cutaros demanded.
"Then does that mean Mr. Aso getting on board the train and the crash were all just an act to make Philia's birthday more exciting?" The confused Luna asked.
"If that's the case, I'm going to have a word with my father," Neycombe said angrily. "He is the current Bishop of the Fangires, and would NOT like to hear I was put through something like this."
"No way, this was totally unplanned," Philia assured her friends. "Do you really think Mom would let him pull something like this?"
"That's right, I wouldn't," Apista agreed.
"Perhaps I should clarify," Shin spoke up. "This repair kit is here because I'm going to put it here. Once we use it to fix up the train and get home, I'll travel back in time to just before we crashed here and bury the kit here for my past self to find. Bam! Instant time loop."
"But… But how did you know it would be here in the first place?" A flabbergasted Antares demanded.
"That's why I asked everyone to look for a landmark earlier," Shin explained. "Once I spotted a good one, I would promise myself to leave a repair kit here for myself to find once we fix the train and got back. Since it's here, that means it worked."
"But… But that's a bootstrap paradox!" Nushi protested. "There's no way it should have worked!"
"And yet it did," Shin rebutted, pointing at the crate.
"But what would you have done if there wasn't anything here?" Aranea queried, astounded.
"Considering that this plan has worked every single time I've tried it, I didn't really think that would happen," Shin replied. "But if it had failed, I would've just went with one of the many, many other contingencies I mentioned before. But seeing as the crate is here, we don't need to rely on any of those or wait for rescue. So, let's get this crate out from under the sand so Cart and Nushi can use it to start fixing up the train."
"Why me?" Nushi protested.
Shin raised an eyebrow. "You mean you don't want to take apart and fix a time machine?"
"Good point."
"You really are amazing, Shin!" Philia gushed.
"Indeed. Shitsuki hopes that one day they will be time master like Shin," Shitsuki stated.
"I can't imagine any other time traveler being as responsible and well-prepared as you!" Galacta agreed.
"If I didn't already have my heart set on being a witch, I would totally want to run a time train like yours!" Aki exclaimed.
"I hate to disparage Uncle Hikaru, but I think I have a new favorite train master," Fuuka said with a smile.
"…Va-li-DATION!" Shin whooped, pumping his arm. "Suck it, Hikaru! No offense, Ariel."
Ariel scowled at him. "A great deal of offense taken, though I can understand why you feel that way."
"Well, don't pat yourself on the back too hard," Apista chided him gently. "We need to get the train up and running, and fast. It looks like there is a sand storm coming."
They glanced towards the horizon, where a large cloud of sand seemed to be heading their way.
Jun groaned. "Oh great, more sand."
Mei rolled her eyes. "You know, it's because of that attitude we almost never go to the beach."
"We're cats!" Jun protested. "We don't even like water!"
"Incorrect. Shitsuki excels in the water, as Shitsuki excels in all things," Shitsuki corrected him.
"They got you there, little bro," Mira admitted.
Jun pouted.
"… That's not a sandstorm," Antares said slowly, tensing up. "Too small, and the speed is wrong. That's an army on the move. Judging from the size, I'd wager a force of about 100 or so soldiers, and they will be here very soon."
"… Oh shit, someone must've seen the crash and sent someone out to investigate!" Scarabella realized in horror.
"We have to do something before they find us!" A panicking Kari cried. "Can we get the train fixed before they get here?"
Cart shook her head. "We cannot."
"Don't worry," Ariel said. "I'll just cast an invisibility spell-"
"No need for that," Shin interjected. "Our stickers are still working, remember? That means nobody from this time period will be able to see us."
"What about the train?" Goro asked.
Shin waved him off. "Has the same technology built into it, naturally. Remember, I'm a responsible time traveler."
"But weren't almost all the train's systems fried?" Philia asked innocently.
Shin chuckled. "Don't worry, we've got multiple redundancies and failsafes, so-"
"The train's stealth systems are currently inoperative," Cart interrupted him.
"I think we'll be needing that invisibility spell after all," Shin said without changing his tone of voice.
"Majuna Majuna!"
And just like that, the ShinLiner disappeared.
"There, when they get here, all they'll see is an empty crater, and go home empty-handed," Shin said confidently.
"Should I cast a spell on us too?" Ariel offered.
Shin shook his head. "No, our stickers are still working properly. They are working properly, right, Cart?"
Cart nodded. "Correct, Master Shin."
"You see? Everything is under control," Shin said with a smirk. "Nothing to worry about."
"I hope you are correct, because they have arrived," Apista said anxiously as the large force marching towards them resolved itself out of the dust cloud.
They were a fearsome sight, approximately 100 soldiers dressed like Roman legionnaires, carrying spears and rectangular shields with a device resembling an eagle mounted on a bull, both of them wearing laurel wreathes with lightning bolts clutched in their mouths, a similar insignia on the 10 or so standards being carried throughout the gathered force, each soldier moving in lockstep and perfect formation. Strangely, all of them were wearing metal masks sculpted to look like scowling faces with coins instead of eyes, and the exposed flesh on their arms and legs looked partially decomposed.
Mibojin and Kagami frowned in distaste. They were ruining the view.
"Who are they?" A nervous Neycombe asked.
"They don't look very Egyptian," Mei muttered, a quivering Jun and Veila hiding behind her and Shitsuki.
"That's because they aren't, they're Roman," Shin answered.
"What are Roman soldiers doing in ancient Egypt?" Asked a confused Aki.
"We are in the Ptolemaic era, at which point Egypt is considered a protectorate of Rome," Cart explained. "As such, seeing Roman forces on Egyptian soil is not to be expected. Although…" She tilted her head, puzzled. "They do not resemble any division of the Roman army I am familiar with. Which is odd, because I am familiar with all of them."
"Do you know of any legions that were commanded by centaurs?" Ariel asked.
"None of them were," Cart replied.
"Then why is this one commanded by a centaur?" Ariel asked, pointing at the Army below as they parted ranks, allowing what was very clearly a centaur to stride forwards. Both his horse and human halves were bulging with muscles, his hooves looking like they could shatter stone with a light tread, his torso clad in more ornate armor than the other soldiers with small Eagle wings spreading from the back and the chest plate over his chain mail shirt resembling a bull head snorting lightning bolts. A massive bow and quiver were strapped to his back, a buckler with the same device as every soldier in the Army mounted on one arm, and his face resembled that of a horse, clad in a helmet with a plume of horse hair matching his tail, implying it came from him.
Cart stared in disbelief. "… That is not possible."
"Then how do you explain the centaur?" Goro asked.
"I… I can't," Cart stammered, dumbfounded.
Aki gasped. "I want to ride the horsey!"
"I do not think you would like that very much," Luna warned her nervously.
"Shin, are you sure they can't see or hear us?" Nushi asked anxiously.
"They can't," Shin promised, though he no longer sounded as certain.
"Then why is the centaur looking right at us?" Antares pointed out.
"He's probably looking at something else," Shin insisted, a little desperate.
"You there!" The centaur bellowed, pointing directly at them. "I am Centurion Kentos of the Legio XXXI in the service of Emperor Julius Caesar! You are all now prisoners of the Roman Empire, and will submit or perish!"
"Fuck," Shin swore.
Veila shrieked, "It's just like the gypsy woman said!"
Philia sighed. "This is going to be my weirdest birthday ever…"
