Chapter 29: Help
Disclaimer: Homeland Security? A cover-up for homeland security? HELL NO I don't own that shit.
A/N: Just wondering…did anyone get the joke about Pam having said she was from Los Angeles? You know, cause it's "The City of Angles?" I know, I'm really not funny. I know it took bloody forever to update—I just have a million things going on. But this is back up now and I'll try my best to have another chapter on by next Monday. By the way, I think this is probably ending at 40. That OK with everyone? Anywho, on with the fic.
"Okay, so everything's alright for tomorrow night?" Piper questioned of the band manager sitting opposite her on the bar at P3.
"Yeah," the man answered, "I just need for you to tell me what time would be best for us to come by for the sound-check and the band's payment."
"Okay," Piper said, handing a check over to the manager, "Here's the money. And I guess maybe sometime around seven-ish would be alright for a sound check."
"Great, see you then," the man said, exiting up the stairs as Pam came rushing down them.
"Piper!" Pam yelled as she stopped right in front of her younger sister.
"What?" Piper said, almost jumping back at Pam's eccentric manner.
"I need your help," Pam said more calmly.
"Sure," Piper said suspiciously, "With what?"
"Piper," Pam began, "What do you do on a…date?"
Piper busted out in guffawing laughter, doubling over behind the bar. When she finally stopped enough to answer Pam her face was red from lack of oxygen.
"Nice one Pam," Piper commented, "Now what do you really need help with?"
"Piper, I'm serious," Pam whined, "I need you to tell me what you do on a date."
"Y—you're not joking…" Piper realized, all laughter leaving her features, "What do you need to know that for?"
"Well I happen to have one tonight," Pam said haughtily.
"You do?" Piper asked, cocking her head to the side.
"Well don't act so surprised!" Pam defended.
"I'm sorry," Piper raised her hands in apology, "I just don't understand why you'd want dating advice from me. I mean, I don't know if Prue or Phoebe's told you but I don't exactly have the best track record with guys. Maybe you should ask Prue, or…"
"No," Pam said, cutting Piper off, "I'm asking you. I want to know what you would do on a date. I mean, no offense but Prue and Phoebe don't exactly move the slowest when it comes to guys."
Piper nodded in compliance as Pam continued.
"Think about it Piper," Pam said, "I haven't been out on a date since I was thirteen. I've been 'Up There' half my life. I'm a little rusty."
"Ok, ok," Piper agreed, "Calm down. I'll tell you whatever you want to know—but don't get mad at me if I'm wrong—I'm married to a dead guy after all."
"I'll take whatever I can get," Pam concluded.
"Leo!" Prue called up to her bedroom ceiling, "Leo, I need you're help!"
Leo orbed in looking expectant and worried.
"Prue what is it?" Leo asked.
"Leo, I want you to see if you can get the Elders to make it so that Andy never died."
"What?" Leo asked as if Prue was joking, "Are you kidding? I can't just do that."
"Leo tomorrow's the club opening. Don't you think that people there might recognize him and know he's dead?"
"Prue the Elders never wanted Andy to come back in the first place. We're lucky they didn't take him back already. Do you really think that they'll help make life easier for him?"
"Leo I just want you to try," Prue pleaded.
"I could get my wings clipped for this, Prue. Are you willing to risk that?"
"Are you willing to risk exposure by someone seeing Andy?" Prue countered.
Leo sighed in defeat before answering his stubborn sister-in-law.
"I'll ask them, Prue," Leo began, "But I can't promise anything."
"That's all I ask," Prue said with her arms folded.
Leo orbed out with a sour look on his face and Prue turned to her bed, hoping it was the right thing to ask for help.
Just then Andy came out of the shower in one of Cole's bathrobes with a concerned look on his face.
"I heard yelling," Andy commented, "What was that about?"
"Nothing," Prue evaded. She smiled, because one look at Andy let her know that she was doing the right thing.
"Just be yourself," Piper advised as she helped Pam get ready for her movie with David.
"What if I don't know who myself is?" Pam questioned.
"Trust me," Piper said, "Just act normal and he'll have to love you."
"What's this loverboy's name anyway?" Piper said as she realized she had no idea who Pam was going out with.
"David," Pam answered promptly.
"David?" Piper repeated, "Last name Donaho by any chance?"
"Ewww," Pam said as she scrunched up her face, "That'd be disgusting."
"Just making sure," Piper laughed, "What's his last name anyway?"
"Blake," Pam answered.
"Oooh…snazzy," Piper laughed, "Does he have directions to the house?" She added.
"He, uh, said that he'd be able to guess which house was ours."
"He what?" Piper asked, rounding on Pam.
"Okay, okay," Pam began, "I know it's a little weird the way he said he could guess where I live and how he kept pushing me to tell him where I grew up and—"
"He did what?" Piper said, tugging on Pam's hair, "Pam—sweetie—I want you to be happy more than anyone else, but did it ever occur to you that this 'David,' might just be a—"
"Don't say it," Pam warned, "Piper Halliwell don't you dare say the'd' word or I swear I'll—"
"All right, all right," Piper backed down, "All I'm saying is that I want you to—"
"Be careful. I know, I know—you don't have to tell me. I'm your older sister, remember? I'm supposed to look out for you."
"How about we all look out for each other?" Piper inquired.
"Deal," Pam agreed.
Just then the doorbell rang and Pam almost jumped out her skin in fright.
"Oh God, oh God Piper, what am I gonna do?" Pam asked, running around frantically.
"Just calm down—relax and you'll be fine, I promise." Piper answered.
"That's easy for you to say, you're not going on your first date in 14 years," Pam shot back.
"I'll greet him at the door so that I can check him out. I want to make sure I approve first," Piper noted.
"That makes sense," Pam complied, "It'll give me a second to compose myself."
"He's a little early, isn't he?" Piper commented, looking at her watch, "Didn't you say he'd be here at 8?"
"Yeah, well maybe he 'found the house' earlier than he thought he would."
Both Pam and Piper went to the door and Piper reached to open it.
"Now remember," Piper said slowly, "Just breathe."
"Alright," Pam complied, standing behind the doorframe so that Piper could greet David first.
Piper opened the door but one look at the person on the other side made her fall to her the ground.
"Piper!" Pam gasped as she came around the doorframe. She stopped dead in her tracks when she spotted the man standing there.
"What are you doing here?" Pam questioned guardedly.
"Please, Pam," Bane spoke, "Just hear me out. I shouldn't have left you—it was a mistake and I'm sorry but I think if you give us one more chance—"
At that moment David came walking up the Manor steps and surveyed the odd scene.
"So I guess I have the right house," He said with a laugh.
"Pam, who's this guy?" He added with a more serious face.
"Me?" Bane questioned, "And who the hell are you?"
"Pam?" The both of them asked in unison.
After an elongated silence Pam was able to choke out one solitary word.
"Help," was the only thing Pam could say.
And she never needed it more.
A/N: OKAY, OKAY, DAMNIT! I PROMISE I'LL STOP WITH THE FILLERS SOON! PROMISE! Was that a filler? (Please review.)
