Chapter 12: I Couldn't Feel, So I Tried to Touch
Disclaimer: They ain't mine, they belong to Shonda. I just play with them.
Addison sat on the bed in her hotel room looking through the rental section of the classified ads. She had two years on her contract here and she couldn't spend them living in a hotel. There were a few places that seemed interesting near enough to the hospital to be worth the rent. She sat in her pajama bottoms and a t-shirt, circling the interesting ads when her cellphone rang. Not thinking to check the caller id, she picked it up.
"Hello?"
"Addison, how are you?" It was Mark.
"What do you want Mark." Her voice was flat; she was tired emotionally and physically. The past few weeks since the prom had seen her marriage end and several high pressure cases that required her constant attention. She didn't have the energy to deal with Mark.
"I thought you and I could have a drink. You know, for old times sake."
"Mark, I'm tired. I had a 10 hour surgery today, I really don't feel up to a drink."
"Well it's a shame I came all the way over here and bribed the desk clerk to find out which room you were in then."
"What!" Addison got up from her bed and walked over to the door. Opening it up, she saw Mark standing there with a bouquet of red roses and a box of chocolates.
"Surprised?"
Driving up to the neatly manicured house, Derek double checked the address he had written down. He got out of his car and walked up the path trying to decide exactly what it was he was going to say once he got there.
Upon, reaching the door he nearly changed his mind but he thought of Meredith and how much she needed this and knocked on the door. After a few seconds, it opened to reveal a man in his early sixties, completely gray, and a bit overweight.
"Excuse me, are you Thatcher Grey?"
"Yes, I'm him. How can I help you?"
Derek looked at the man standing before him for a moment before answering. He didn't see anything of Meredith in him, except possibly the hair color and the eyes.
"My name is Derek Shepherd. I'm a friend of Meredith's from the hospital."
Thatcher was startled. The only reason a friend of Meredith's would seek him out was if she was hurt or in trouble.
"She's not hurt is she? Is she alright?"
"Meredith is fine. I'm here because her mother- Ellis, had a major stroke."
"Will she be alright?"
"Most likely no. She's been suffering from early onset Alzheimer's and the damage to her brain is too extensive. She's boarder-line brain dead. There isn't a whole lot that can be done."
"I see."
Thatcher shifted his feet and looked down at the ground. After all these years, the pain was still there. He could still remember Ellis telling him, without a trace of emotion, that she had been having an affair with another doctor and that she was leaving him. He had his suspicions for a while, the faint smell of cologne on her scrubs that wasn't his, late night surgeries, but to hear her say it so casually nearly killed him. He also remembered driving off for the last time watching through his rear-view mirror as tearfull five-year old ran after the car begging for him to come home.
"I don't know what Meredith has told you, but Ellis and I- I just- I don't- I don't know how you expect me to help any."
"Your Meredith's only family. I think it would help her if she had you to lean on."
"Meredith doesn't need me."
"I think she does." Derek took a deep breath before he continued. "She's been let down a lot by the people who were supposed to care for her." Derek felt a lump rise in his throat as he mentally included himself in that list. "I just think that this time, maybe she shouldn't have to be alone."
"I just don't know. I barely know her, how am I supposed to talk to her? How am I supposed to help her if I don't even know how to talk to her?"
"She just needs you to be there."
Thatcher looked down at the ground and then looked back up at the man in front of him, he saw the pain in his eyes and could tell that Meredith was more than just a friend to him.
"How did you let her down?"
"I wasn't there."
Thatcher nodded. The two men stood in silence for a moment each contemplating each other and their relative betrayls.
"I'll see what I can do."
"Thank you." Thatcher walked back into the house and Derek headed back to his car. Derek didn't know if what he said would help, or even if Meredith would want to see her father. He only knew that he needed to try something to help her, to find someone to reach her even if he couldn't
The hospital was quiet. There were only a few patients and even fewer surgeries. So Richard took the opportunity to slip down to the ICU.
Carefully checking that no one spotted him, he ducked into her room. Despite his many years as a surgeon, Richard Webber, Chief of Surgery, one of the best doctors in the country, was unprepared to see the woman he had fallen in love with so many years ago lying comatose in a hospital bed. The clinician in him tried to separate himself from his emotions, to see a patient and not Ellis Grey, but he couldn't help it.
Sagging into the chair beside the bed he brushed some strands of hair away from her eyes, she had always hated when it got in the way. He took her limp hand in his and caressed it. He could have saved her so much pain, so much hurt if only he'd had the courage. In so many ways she had been stronger than him. Ellis Grey always knew what she wanted and damn it to hell if she wasn't going to get it. He chuckled sadly as he remembered teasing her about the look she would get when she was concentrating during surgery. Her eyebrows would knit together and she seemed to focus her entire being on the patient in front of her. He couldn't reconcile that intoxicating woman with the fragile figure in front of him. He still loved her though. He always had and that never changed even after they ended it.
Wiping a tear from his eye, he got up from the chair and left the room, unwilling to commune any longer with the ghosts of the past.
