Chapter Two:

Disclaimer: "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "I" "I who?" "I still don't own any of this!"

A/N- Thanks for the review, Volinde. I can definitely do that (Yay for A Knight's Tale!)

"You have a plan?"

"Yes. My plan is to stop him!"

"Well I knew that, but how?"

"I will tell you when the time comes. But first let me see that ring on your finger."

"What? My wedding ring?" Julia nodded. Winston was now extremely confused. He nodded and pretended that he had some idea what was going on. He handed Julia the ring. She threw it into the fireplace. "What are you doing?" yelled Winston.

"Are you that attached to it?"

"Well it was kind of expensive..."

"You're so cheap, Winston." She took the ring out of the fireplace. It was flashing in neon-green letters 'If flashing, you've been selected to save the world!' "That's what I thought!" exclaimed Julia. "I'll be back." And with that she climbed out the window, jumped onto her white horse, and rode off into the night.

"Oh, great!" said Winston to himself. "Now I'm all alone. I guess I'll just sit here and wait until Julia gets back and pretend to have a life...

Meanwhile

"Julia, Julia, Julia!" said a familiar voice.

"Jack Sparrow?" Julia asked.

"I have been looking all over Middle-Earth for you... with the occasional stop for rum. But anyways, I'm so happy I've found you!"

"Well what's wrong?"

"It's absolutely horrible. I can't believe I did it. It is the worst misfortune to ever fall upon this world."

"Oh my god! What's happened?"

"It's Nemo! I can't find him!"

"No! How could you? Jack, this is unacceptable. You are the worst pirate I've ever heard of!"

"But you have heard of me."

"I'm your cousin."

"Right. I forgot that little detail...But we must find Nemo!" All of the sudden someone knocked on the door. Jack walked up to the door and opened it. Standing there was a short English man wearing a ridiculous, purple velvet jumpsuit.

"Yeah, baby! Yeah!" he shouted with a grin.

"Who the bloody hell are you?!" Jack screamed.

"Austin Powers is the name, baby. Don't wear it out!"

"I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Powers, but unless you have any rum I'm going to have you ask you to leave my house."

"But Jack, baby, I've got something better than rum."

"Do you then?"

"Yeah, baby! I can help you find Nemo, but..."

"You know where Nemo is?" demanded Julia.

"Of course! He's being held captive by the evil Lord Voldemort a.k.a. You- Know-Who, baby, in the cracks of Mt. Doom!"

"And how do we get him back?" asked Jack.

"Well my buddy, Voldie... he's really a good guy you know. But sometimes he can be a little evil if you know what I mean, baby. So in exchange for Nemo, he wants Winston's magic ring so he can conquer Middle Earth!"

"Hey Austin?"

"Yeah, baby! What?"

"Why do you care?"

"That son of a bitch stole my mojo, baby! Dr. Evil is a deatheater!" And with that he burst into tears.

Meanwhile

Winston didn't know what to do. He was just sitting in the room above the antique shop wallowing in his misery when a knock came upon the door. Not feeling up to a visitor he shouted, "We're not home right now." Then he realized how stupid he sounded. He gave up all hope of avoiding the person at his door. So he sighed and swung the door open.

There stood a man decked out in full knight's armour. He had wavy blond hair and blue eyes. In fact, he looked rather like a movie star. Winston was stunned. "Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is William Thatcher."

"And what brings you here?"

"Well you see, I was following my feet and my feet ended up here."

"Alright then... Then why are you dressed like a knight and what on earth are you holding?"

"It's called a lance. Hello! Haven't you ever been jousting before?"

"Er... no. But Julia is always telling me how much I need a hobby. Maybe I'll take it up. What is it?"

"You've never even heard of it? Oh my God!"

"Well what is it."

"It's when two people try to knock the other one off their horse with lances! It's extremely fun. Let's go! I'll teach you how." Winston put on his coat and was ready to walk out the door when he remembered the dream about You-Know-Who and the One Ring.

"I'm sorry William, but I don't think I can right now."

"Why not? Nothing is more important than jousting!"

"Well my magic wedding ring was flashing and said that I need to save the world. So I need to keep waiting for Julia to get back."

"Can't I come save the world with you?"

"No!"

"Pretty please?"

"No! You think you can do these things, Nemo, but you can't!"

"Who on earth is Nemo?"

"Oh, he's Julia's pet goldfish. Her cousin Jack Sparrow has it now."

"So is that why I can't help you save the world?"

"No. You can come if you want to..."

"Hooray!"

"Yeah, whatever. Now we must wait for Julia to come back."

"Okay. Then can we joust?"

"Erm... sure."

"Hooray!"

A/N- Okay. There's chapter two. Please R/R and Chapter 3 will be here soon.

Please request any phrases or stories that you wish me to use and I will (if I have heard of it). Thanks for reading.