Chapter 44

Patient AN: Bad news: We're giving you another cliffhanger to end this chapter.

Xomniac AN: Good news: it's a laugher, not a chiller!

Hornet AN: Boooooo!

Cross-Brain AN: Ah, yes, and one more thing before we begin, regarding the revelations of Chapter 850. To the great Eiichiro Oda:

We dare to enter into your world. You, who demonstrate time and again exactly why it was you who created the best manga of all time.

We are not worthy. Odds are that we never will be.

But that will not stop us from trying.

After watching the sunrise with my friends, I'd been totally ready to hit the hay and recover from one hell of an eventful day. Unfortunately, my heartfelt desire for sleep was firmly overruled.

By whom, you ask? Why, by none other than a certain sadist of a first mate who shall remain unnamed, that's who! Said sadist announced this particular veto by grabbing my collar and bodily dragging me inside away from where everyone was sleeping. I was a bit ticked off at first, but that feeling promptly evaporated when he dragged in Leo and Funkfreed as well, and explained what he was doing.

According to Zoro, apparently I'd made something of a… tactical error in accepting Funkfreed as my new melee weapon: unlike Lassoo, with whom I had some margin of error where his handling was concerned, wielding a blade like Funkfreed required actual training, even if I wasn't aiming to be a master of the blade. As such, in order to make me halfway competent with a sword, he'd be adding onto my training regimen with Leo's aid, effective immediately.

Which leads us to…

"Move your arm up. I said up, Cross."

"Yeah, yeah…"

"Not that high!"

"Grmble…"

This. With the 'this' in question being me holding a de-leafed stick in my hand as I tried to follow the trio's directions on how to take a proper stance for holding a cavalry sabre like Funkfreed. And of course, due to my teachers being a master-grade swordsman, a prodigal Grand Line-grade swordsman, and an actual living sword, the margin of error I was being allowed for my movements was nonexistent.

"How's this?" I asked, lowering my arm in an effort to please my taskmasters.

"No, you need to raise it—!" Zoro started to order me.

"Here, let me!" Leo offered, hastily waddling up to me with his sheathed blades in his hands, following which he started poking my limbs into position. "Here, widen your stance like this, position your free arm over here, aaaand make sure that you have your blade angled like that. Ah, and keep your body pointed that way, the whole time too. Get it?"

"Ah…" I blinked in surprise as I realized that he'd angled my body in such a manner that my makeshift 'blade' was parallel to my torso, rather than perpendicular. "Oh, I see! So basically, I'm supposed to use you more like I'm fencing, is that right?"

"More or less," Funkfreed nodded in agreement, shaking his mass slightly in the process. Said mass was naked to the world, as we'd removed the leather harness he'd been wearing before, though hopefully getting him a new sheath would give him something new to wear. "It's a more strength-oriented style than fencing, but there's still some precision to it that should be observed."

"Well, at least now I have something to go off of," I muttered as I started to adjust my stance appropriately.

"While I'm thinking about it, Cross, why did you convince Funkfreed to join you?" Zoro asked with honest curiosity. "The last time I checked, you said that you didn't have the training or discipline to handle an actual weapon. Were you expecting him to do most of the work, like Lassoo?"

I shook my head at Zoro as I popped up a pair of fingers. "Two reasons. First, the obvious one: when there's money on the table, you never leave it there. Not taking Funkfreed meant either letting him go back to the Marines, letting some other crew try and claim and tame him, or letting him go off solo, none of which were good options."

"I'm with him there!" Funkfreed shot his trunk up in agreement. "If the higher-ups were willing to throw even Rob Lucci to the wolves, then I don't even want to think about what they would have done to me! And in case you haven't noticed, not a lot of other crews are even close to as nice as you guys!"

"…mmph, fair enough," Zoro begrudgingly admitted. "Still, this is a big shift from your old mindset. What happened to learning how to wield a sword being too much trouble?"

I spread my arms demonstratively. "It's usually not a phrase to use, but that was then and this is now. When I made that proclamation I was just a glass-boned amateur who was barely getting by with my brains, and who was only ever getting into fights with the weakest of mooks. I think it should be obvious that I'm not that person anymore, most importantly because of the target I've decided to paint on my back. My baton was all well and good up until now, but now is when things start ramping up more than ever. So if I'm going to be equal to the task at hand…" I shot a look over at Funkfreed. "Then I'm going to need the tools for the job. And for the record, I am trying to learn how to wield those tools properly, you know! Have I tried to leave even once while you bastards have been shoving me around!?"

"Ah…" Leo hesitated slightly at that before glancing at Zoro. "He… does have a point, you know?"

Zoro responded with a flat glare. "And you think this matters to me?"

"Not at all, sir!" the dugong yelped fearfully as he snapped to attention.

I felt a shiver of terror shoot up my spine as I sensed a not-subtle amount of menace in the three-sword-master's tone. "Ah-ah-ah-HEY!" I squawked hastily. "S-S-Seeing as I've at least managed to achieve a stance that's only semi-horrible—"

"ONLY just," Soundbite snarked from inside his shell.

"It's a dark day when I agree with the snail," Zoro said pointedly.

I barely withheld a whimper at the implication. "M-May I take a small break, just for a moment, to check out Funkfreed's abilities? I-I-I'm gonna learn, I swear, b-b-but they're still a major part of the equation, remember!?"

Zoro glared at me, visibly debating with himself before sighing and waving his hand. "Make it fast."

I did not sigh in relief as I dropped my branch and gesturing animatedly at Funkfreed, and the elephant in question quickly transformed himself to fit my grip. As I watched his metamorphosis from flesh to tempered steel, a thought occurred to me. "Ah… hey, just curious here, but why am I using a branch instead of Funkfreed? Or hell, even a bamboo sword?"

"Now that, I can answer myself!" Leo cheerfully announced before going serious again. "Simply put, you don't even deserve to touch a bamboo sword yet, much less a real one!"

"…what," I responded intelligently.

"Well, what did you expect!?" the dugong barked indignantly. "You're used to flailing a baton about without even a scrap of finesse or skill, and as such we're not even close to trusting you with a tool even remotely resembling a katana. Hell, it'd be a disgrace to swordsmen everywhere if you even touched something resembling a sword!"

"As it is," Zoro cut in, taking a menacing step forward. "I'm barely keeping myself from knocking Funkfreed out of your hands due to my memories of you 'wielding' him back on the Bridge, so whatever the hell you're going to do—!"

I swallowed audibly as I processed the unspoken threat before snapping my attention down to Funkfreed. "So! Funkfreed! Something I've noticed about Zoan types: your transformations can either be slow and gradual, like how Lucci did it, or practically instantaneous, like Chopper or Lassoo. Is there any reason you choose gradual? I mean, Lucci could snap to his beast form in an instant, so I know you can do it either way."

"Huh, good catch…" Funkfreed said, sounding impressed. "And yeah, I can. There's just always been an issue doing it, so…"

"Hm…" I hummed thoughtfully before shrugging and pointing him forwards at the empty air. "Well, no better time than the present. Go ahead and transform at full speed, and I'll see if I can help with whatever's going wrong, alright?"

"Uhhh… Well, if you say so…" the elephant-sword said uncertainly. "Here goes!"

There was a sudden blur of motion—

THUMP! "GWAH!" "SONNUVA!"

And then I found myself groaning on my back, my ass firmly buried in a trench that my own behind had dug. Sweet Christ my tailbone ached, and if my clothes hadn't been designed for that kind of abuse I'd probably be needing a new pair of pants too.

"What JUST hit US?" Soundbite moaned as his shell spun in place next to me.

"If I had to guess?" I groused as I slowly worked my way to my feet, rubbing at my aching rear. "One of Newton's laws, though damned if I know which."

"Yeeeaaah, sorry about that," Funkfreed chuckled sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his head with his trunk. "Hey, look on the bright side: you handled that better than Spandam. When he was on the receiving end of that impact, his arm broke in three places."

I graced the elephant with a flat look. "And me doing better than him is supposed to reassure me how exactly!?"

"Eh…" The Zoan-weapon flinched uncomfortably as he thought that over. "Yeah, fair enough."

"Mrgh… alright, anyways, let's see…" I muttered as I started patting off the dirt on my rear. I mulled over the issues of the transformation: the recoil kicked like a mule, and I doubted that even if I braced myself I'd be able to handle all of it, so how…?

"Now, there's a thought…" I muttered, cupping my chin. "If physics are the issue, then maybe—?"

"CARE TO SHARE?" Soundbite groused. "AND ALSO TO get me out of the DIRT!?"

"Ah, right, sorry," I apologized as I picked him back up and returned him to my shoulder. "And Funkfreed, back to sword. I've got an idea."

"Ah… alright, then," Funkfreed said as he returned to his natural form. "And that idea would be…?"

"Physics are what's screwing us over," I mused, raising my free hand to grip Funkfreed's hilt as I drew him up in preparation for a stab. "But with any luck, they can un-screw us in the same breath. Alright, let's try this again. On three, one two three!"

I stabbed forward with my sword, and smirked victoriously as the force of my stab served to counterbalance the gravitational force or momentum or whatever it was that resulted from Funkfreed's transformation, resulting in me only skidding back a foot or two.

"Second try? Not bad," Leo remarked.

"Now do it again," Zoro ordered. "Until you can do it one-handed and without getting pushed back."

"Pff, dumbass," I snorted derisively as I drew Funkfreed back in preparation and readied myself again. "I was planning on doing that from the beginning."

The corner of Zoro's mouth twitched as I brought the blade forward again. But for all my bravado, it still took twelve more tries before I felt confident enough to take one hand off of it. Bracing myself, I stabbed… and felt myself slide back the slightest bit.

I glanced downwards with a cocked eyebrow. "Thiiiis could take awhile…"

As a matter of fact, it took a half hour and more repetitions of the stab than I care to remember, not even mentioning the 'advice' (read: haranguing) from Leo and Zoro. But, for all that the experience was long and harrowing, the end result was that I could reliably handle Funkfreed's instantaneous stab one-handed.

Case in point, I stabbed Funkfreed forward and drew him back in a single smooth motion, resulting in sudden displacement of air and not much else. "Niiiice," I grinned eagerly as I looked Funkfreed over. "This is going to be very useful. How do you feel about naming that little game-changer 'Pachy-Charge'?"

"Better than naming it 'Elephant Stab.' Spandam probably would have done that. I mean, he wasn't bad at naming attacks, per se," Funkfreed conceded. "But they were pretty uncreative. 'Ivory Dart' was insensitive enough already."

"Honestly, your opinion IS ONLY PARTLY NEEDED. We have a theme goin', AND WE AIN'T CHANGING IT for an oversized mouse."

"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO GAVE ME THIS DAMN VOICE IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

"AND YOUR POINT IS…?"

"Gonna kill you someday…"

"Anyway, now that that's worked out…"

I very slowly turned around to the sight of Zoro cracking his knuckles as he and Leo started to stalk towards me.

"Hey hey hey, no need for that!" I yelped, backing up fearfully. "I've got that down, I'll drop him on my waaaait a minute!" An eager grin flashed onto my face as a new idea blazed in my mind. "Funkfreed, how hard is it for you to pull that transformation? Is it tiring, or—?"

"Ah… no, not at all?" the elephant-sword answered hesitantly. "It's pretty much like breathing, totally effortless. Why?"

"You'll see," I giggled gleefully as I took my ready stance, energy tingling through me in anticipation of what I was about to unleash. "Just extend when I extend and withdraw when I withdraw. Now… let's go!"

And with that I shot my arm forward, resulting in my partner's massive girth suddenly occupying the space before me for all of five seconds before I drew my arm back, causing him to vacate the space just as swiftly as he appeared.

And then I stabbed him forward and withdrew again the next second. And then I did it again, and again and again, over a dozen times in a row before I was forced to stop on account of my arm starting to ache.

I capped the display off by withdrawing Funkfreed and using him to sweep away the cloud of dust he'd kicked up before me. Balancing his blade on my shoulder, I grinned at my onlooking tutors. "And that is what we'll be calling Pachy-Pede. Thoughts, comments…?"

Leo silently worked his jaw before slapping his flippers together and sucking in a deep breath. "I don't know about him," he announced, casually jabbing his flipper at Zoro. "But I'm impressed. Get a foe between that and a hard place and I doubt they'll have much luck at walking away. Since you're asking, though… Funkfreed, your body is prehensile in its hybrid form, correct?"

"Ahwha…?" Funkfreed groaned dizzily before coughing as he got his mind back in gear. "Ah… yeah, yeah, I can control it. Why?"

"Well, I noticed that while you were attacking you only fired in a straight line," Leo explained. "That might be easier on you, but it'll let your opponent hold a guard. Better that you vary your position with every strike, so that between your tusks and trunk they don't know what's coming from where. That way…" He popped a thumbs-up (somehow), flashing a winning smile our way. "It'll be like they're getting mowed down by a real stampede."

"Huh…" my blade whistled thoughtfully before vibrating in what I took to be a nod of agreement. "Alright, that works! Thanks for the advice!"

I nodded at the dugong in agreement before looking at Zoro, who was still frowning. "It's a good technique, and it'll definitely be a good way to use the sword. I might even have to try duplicating that force with a stab instead of a slash… but unless you have any other ideas, can we get back to swordsmanship now?" The barely-restrained savagery in his voice sent chills up and down my spine.

"Alright, alright, keep your blades leashed!" I replied, before continuing under my breath, "God knows what at least one of them would do to me…"

"Good," Zoro grunted. "Because now it's time for you to actually wield a sword."

For one bright, shining moment, I actually felt excited. And then the fact that both Zoro and Leo were fingering their hilts hit me like one of Nami's punches.

"Right, then!" I squawked fearfully, hastily dropping Funkfreed in favor of whipping out a pack of wrinkled papers from my jacket and holding them before me like the shield they were. "Before you both tan my hide ten different shades of black and blue, who's up for checking out the bounties Coo dropped off for us last night along with the newspaper?"

The two swordsmen froze, glancing at one another silently before letting go of their blades.

"Well, he's not dumb," Leo concluded. When Zoro shot a disbelieving look at him, he raised his flippers defensively. "Hey, I'm not saying he isn't an idiot, I'm just saying he's not dumb. There's a difference."

Zoro grunted in begrudging agreement before stalking past me. "You live for now, Cross. We'll just kick your ass twice as hard for twice as long later. Now hurry up and get a move on."

I swallowed heavily as I tried to keep my nerves in check. I also tried to find some route of escape, but that hope died a painful death when Leo's sheathed blade poked at my back, the sound of him chuckling all I needed to hear to know about my chances.

Soundbite's very helpful commentary on this development was to toll out a funeral bell as he cackled.

"Yeah, yeah, I get the picture…" I groused as I walked after Zoro, hands raised above my head in surrender.

-o-

When we returned to our temporary HQ, our friends were all up and milling about their early-morning business. Naturally, that all changed when I displayed the sheaf of papers in my possession and announced their nature.

From there, our friends' reactions fell into three distinct categories.

"WOOHOO, NEW BOUNTIES ARE HERE!"

"BOUNTIES! BOUNTIES! BOUNTIES!"

First, there were the overtly enthusiastic members who'd formed an impromptu can-can line and were dancing around and cheering their hearts out. Naturally, this faction was headed up by Luffy and was composed of Merry, Raphey, Mikey and Chopper. I wasn't expecting the inclusion of Usopp, but I suppose that he was getting more and more confident as of late. I'd have to factor that into Thriller Bark, sure, but meh, I doubted it would be that hard.

My eye twitched when… pretty much every inch of ragged or melted flesh on my body suddenly decided to blaze.

On second thought, maybe playing it by the ear wasn't the best of ideas, especially considering how things usually wound up biting me in the ass once we actually reached them.

Anyway, moving on to the second group…

"Lemonade, ladies?" Sanji crooned, setting a tray with several decorated glasses on the table, his calm tone belying the excitement that was so obviously coursing through him. Just look at how he was shaking with repressed glee! At least, I hope that was repressed glee.

"Why, thank you, Sanji," Robin purred as she accepted the drinks—all of them—and started passing them out to the others sitting at the table, which is to say Conis, Su, Zoro, Boss, Leo, and a somewhat twitchy Vivi. The archaeologist grinned just a little too innocently as she took a sip of her drink. "So, would anyone care to place a wager on their bounties? Losers have to guard the winner's food from Luffy for a week. I myself wager that they'll merely raise mine by a million. It is quite substantial as is, you know."

"Oh, I'm in, I'm in!" Su called out as she waved her paw eagerly. "For me… mmm, a cool mil would be good, I don't want to get too fluffy for my fur."

Leo snorted a laugh into his lemonade. "Come again?"

"It's a fox saying, look it up." Said fox jerked her nose up in a proud sniff before grinning at her owner. "And what about you, Conis? Considering your storming of the train and the sheer amount of firepower you brought to bear, I'd saaay…" She tapped her chin thoughtfully before perking up in realization. "Somewhere higher than our good Princess's first bounty, but lower than her new one."

"W-What?!" Conis gasped in shock, her hands slapping to her cheeks as a demure blush came over her face, starting to squirm in her seat in embarrassment. "T-To inherit Vivi's bounty, or even surpass it… n-no, no, I couldn't! I'm nowhere near worthy of an honor such as that!"

"Ahh, don't be that way!" Leo chuckled into his drink. "After all, you are a prominent member of the crew, so you're definitely getting a bounty! Me, on the other hand? Nada. Easy money says I'll just get rolled up in Boss's—!"

THWACK!

"—YEOW!"

"Don't be an idiot, Leo," Boss snorted, lowering the flipper he'd smacked Leo upside the head with. "You're one of my best students, and you're all impressive besides. You'll get your bounty…" He glanced upwards thoughtfully. "And… honestly, I'm thinking mine won't break 100 million."

"What!?" Leo cried in shock. "But, Boss—!"

Boss silenced his disciple with a raised flipper. "I pulled a few impressive feats of my own, I won't deny that, and with the development of the Full Shell Style, I imagine I'll only grow stronger from here. But for now, I'm still a novice. I don't deserve a bounty that high."

"B-Boss…" Leo sobbed before wiping his face with his flipper. "I'm moved! Such humility! To think you'd even accept a bounty that's as low as dirt!"

"Moron!"

THWACK!

"YEOW!" Leo yelped as he got thwapped again.

"Now, listen here, you little pup!" Boss snorted proudly as he jabbed his cigar at his student. "I might be humble, but I've still got some measure of pride, damn it all! I might not break 100, but I will definitely pass 50! Heck…" He puffed his chest out proudly. "Forget 50, I'll pass 75, easy! And my next one? That'll be 100 plus without a doubt, and don't you damn well forget it!"

"I… see…" Leo muttered as he rubbed his head. "How… humble of you…"

"So, is that your bet, Boss?" Robin asked with a smile.

"You better bet your bottom beri it is!" the dugong nodded firmly before shooting a look at the final member of their gathering. "And what about you, princess? Care to share your thoughts?

Vivi graced the martial-arts master with a dry look before turning her attention to the table as a whole. "My thoughts? Simple: you're all twisted. In case you've all forgotten, you're betting on exactly how much the World Government and every willing bounty hunter in the world wants you dead. Doesn't that disturb any of you in any way? Or strike you as the least bit morbid?!"

A silence hung over the table for a second before Robin cocked her head to the side with a smile. "So, I take it you won't be participating then, your highness?"

Vivi met the archaeologist's gaze unflinchingly… before glancing to the side with an embarrassed blush and a pout on her face. "60 to 65 and not a beri more," she reluctantly mumbled out.

A shocked silence fell over the table as everyone stared at her, a silence which she punctuated by audibly slurping on her drink's straw. And a further disturbance came in the form of a rather familiar noise.

"AHHH, VIVI-SWAN IS SO CUTE WHEN SHE'S BETTING ON THE VALUE OF OUR LIVES!" Sanji cried as he spun up into yet another of his Love Hurricanes.

"Don't say it like that, moron!" Vivi protested, her blush going fully luminescent.

"AND EVEN CUTER WHEN SHE'S BERATING ME~!"

"Tch, dumbass…" Zoro grunted, rolling his eyes. "Bah, whatever. Anyway, mine's definitely breaking 100, easy. At the least…" The swordsman's grin widened as he glanced at our cook. "I'm going to be worth double the cook."

Sanji's hurricane spun out as he ground to a halt, slowly turning his head to glare daggers at Zoro. "Say that again, mosshead."

Zoro's grin took on a predatory gleam as he met the cook's gaze head on. "You heard me, shit cook."

"I SAID SAY IT AGAIN, MARIMO!"

"I'M NOT REPEATING SHIT TO YOU, SWIRLY-BROW!"

I sweatdropped as the two slammed their foreheads together. Yeah, the second group was the quiet ones. Quiet in comparison to the loud ones, at least. For the most part, they were the ones waiting to hear the new prices on our skins with relative calm.

"HEADS UP!"

"GAH!" I cried, feeling a chair pass through my hair.

Very relative calm.

Anyways… for the final group? It was tiny, composed of only three individuals.

"Why are they all so calm?" Nami moaned as she curled up beside Carue, displaying an odd combination of body language that conveyed both depression and a hint of fear. The duck, for his part, was holding his wings to his bill and chattering his teeth in a manner I could only imagine was his version of nail-biting. No surprise from those two. But the third did come as something of a surprise.

"Because they're all either jaded or insane," Donny intoned as he repeatedly bounced his head in the groove he was wearing into the wall. "Would you rather be one of them instead?"

Nami's miserable whine was answer enough.

I spent a moment taking in the scene before glancing at the posters in my hand, opening my mouth to draw everyone's attention. Before I could say boo, however, I caught sight of the face on the frontmost poster, and I snapped my mouth shut as I began rifling through the stack.

"CROSS!"

I then nearly dropped the stack as Luffy's sharp yell drew everyone's attention.

"No peeking ahead!" Luffy ordered with a huff. "Things have changed from what you know, right? So that means our bounties are different too! You should be just as surprised as the rest of us!"

"Oooh, too late on that count, Luffy," I drawled as I went right back to picking out the bounties I was looking for. "I hadn't looked at the posters until now, so I only just now realized that Coo got us a full stack of new bounties, rather than just our crew's."

"Wait, what?" Vivi asked incredulously before glancing down as she cupped her chin. "You mean… no, of course not all of those bounties are ours, something like this would have every remotely notable bounty in the Grand Line. But whose bounties are you looking for if they're not ours?"

I smirked as I continued rifling through the posters, picking out the pictures I needed and holding them up. "Why, our competition's, of course."

All noise died as everyone stared at me in different variations of shock and awe.

"Cross…" Conis started hesitantly. "D-Did you just say… 'competition'?"

I shot a smug smirk at her. "But of course. What, did you really think that we were the only pirates on the Grand Line? Or at least, the only ones of our caliber?" I chuckled as I shook my head. "Sorry… but no. Luffy will be king, that's a given, but there are others who want a say in the succession, too."

I held up the bounties. "At least nine others, to be exact. Nine other pirates who did the unprecedented and achieved bounties topping over 100 Million in an extremely short amount of time upon starting their careers as pirates. Collectively, alongside those of us on this crew who would have also been worth over 100 Million—that is, Luffy and Zoro—they are known in this era as the Eleven Supernovas. The most powerful rookie pirates of this generation. And you wanna know the real kicker in all that?"

I leaned forward, locking eyes with Luffy as I spoke the next words.

"I hardly know spit about most of them."

Luffy's interest was piqued immediately, and the rest of the crew reacted half in dread, half in eagerness.

"Define 'hardly anything,' Cross," Raphey requested, now gazing hungrily at the posters I was holding.

I maintained my smirk as I tapped the posters with the back of my hand. "Their names, the names of their crews, snippets of their personalities, and the briefest glimpses into the natures of their abilities…" I drew out a pair of posters from the stack and let the crew see them. "With only two exceptions." I slid one out so that the owner's shark-toothed grin was visible. "The first, of course, is an old friend of ours: the captain of the Barto Club Pirates, Bartolomeo, A.K.A. 'Black Bart' Bartolomeo."

"Ah… wait, 'fwiend?'" Carue asked cautiously. "Whaddaya mean? Aye don't wemembah evah meeting him…"

"It was right before we set sail for the Grand Line," Sanji explained as he moved closer to get a better look at the poster. "One of Luffy's old enemies showed up to try killing him, and Bartolomeo became a fan after Luffy was saved at the last minute when lightning struck the platform where they both were."

"…Aye should be supwised about dat, aye weawwy should," the duck muttered acridly.

"Anyway, let's see here…" Sanji mused as he started reading the poster. "฿350 million? Geez, that's impressive. How did he—he punched out a Celestial Dragon?!"

That got reactions out of absolutely everyone, though mostly variants on "What?!".

"Actually, Sanji, he just took the credit; his first mate was the one who punched him out, and he's not happy about how the story got changed," I corrected with a grin. "Still, you do actually know him… provided you actually remember Gin, anyway."

Sanji blinked in shock before scoffing and shaking his head. "After he nearly caved my head in and then nearly killed himself protecting me from the MH5? How the heck could I ever forget." He looked upwards wistfully. "So he actually made it, huh? Good. Good for him."

"Yeah, I'm happy to hear he's alright!" Luffy nodded in agreement, before tilting his head quizzically. "Uh, who was he, again?"

I rolled my eyes as our fellow East Blue recruits all slammed to the ground. "Dead eyes, grayish skin, worked with Krieg? Gave you his gas mask, too, remember?"

The gears in Luffy's brain churned visibly for a second before he smacked his fist in his palm. "Oh, yeah! Sanji fed him when he got kicked out, and that was when I knew I wanted him as my cook! Now I'm really happy for him!"

Nami shook her head in equal parts fondness and exasperation before directing her attention to me. "Moving on… I'm guessing that the second exception is that psychopath that used Marines for a game of Jenga? What was it, Law?"

"'Surgeon of Death' Trafalgar Law, yes," I nodded, revealing the other poster… which held an even higher number. Nami blinked several times.

"…OK, how does he get ฿375 million? I mean, I get that what he did was bad, but what Bartolomeo did was blasphemy."

"Well, for starters, he had a jumpstart on Barto," I explained. "Before my involvement, he would have held the third-highest bounty of the Supernovas, at ฿200 million. But currently?" I read over the bounty and promptly raised my eyebrows in surprise. "Well, now… apparently the whole 'Jenga' thing was only the tip of the iceberg. He got ahold of those soldiers by invading a Marine base and taking it over, and then letting the public and his crew have the run of the place."

That freaked out more than a few of my crewmates.

"H-H-He took over an entire Marine Base?!" Usopp stammered fearfully.

"What the hell kind of monster is this guy?" Merry whistled in awe.

"Ah, if it's any consolation? He's strong, yeah, and he's only going to get stronger, but he didn't pull this off alone." I hastily silenced everyone's fears. "Rather, he had help, from… her." I drew out the appropriate poster. "'The Glutton' Jewelry Bonney, ฿235 million. Her appetite rivals Luffy's, and her powers are quite impressive. Though I'm guessing you don't want details?" I glanced at Luffy, and shrugged when he shook his head. "Okay, just checking. Lemme just run through the rest so that you all recognize them and then we'll move on to ours, alright?

At the nods of assent, I began laying down bounty posters one after another, starting with the one I deemed the most pressing. "Eustass 'Captain' Kid: ฿400 Million. In the original, his bounty was the only one higher than Luffy's, and he achieved it through sheer brutality. Case in point, this little boost in the ratings came from attacking a Marine training camp. He almost got killed in the process because there was a…" I winced sympathetically. "Wow, retired Admiral teaching there, that's unlucky… but make no mistake, this guy is a vicious son of a bitch and he is dangerous. I cannot be clear enough on this point. If you see him?" I showed the poster around. "Do not face him and do not piss him off. Because if you do, I can't guarantee you'll walk away."

"Are you seriously telling me that we've got another Lucci as a rival here?" Zoro grimaced.

"You especially wouldn't stand a chance against him, Zoro; his powers are almost as bad as the Rust-Rust Fruit for swordsmen." I blinked in realization. "Speaking of which, I've been meaning to ask—"

"Yubashiri can be fixed," Zoro interrupted, but it was accompanied by an angry sigh. "But not anytime soon. The blacksmith will finish the work, but it won't be done until long after we leave. So, I'm down to two swords for now. I assume you know where I can get another one?"

"Yes, and soon," I confirmed. He nodded, and I looked back at the posters.

"OK, one more thing about Kid before we move on: he's the only Supernova besides Luffy to have another Supernova on his crew." I held up the poster in question. "His first mate, 'Massacre Soldier' Killer, is worth ฿100 million on his ow—wait, what?" I stared back at the poster in confusion. "The hell—? That's barely two-thirds his canon bounty!

"Maybe he's still going to grow over time?" Funkfreed offered.

"Mmm… maybe?" I hedged uncomfortably. "Still… anyway, he's more levelheaded than Kid, but he's still dangerous; he's the only other Supernova I can confirm doesn't have a Devil Fruit. He's no pushover and he still has that epithet, so watch your backs."

I gave everyone a chance to process before shuffling for my next poster. "Anyways, next on our program is 'The Magician' Basil Hawkins. He's one of the most mysterious of the Supernovas, because I can't tell where his Devil Fruit abilities end and what I can only define as legitimate magic begins! And as for his crimes…" I took one look before reeling. "Holy—! Now there's a name I recognize! Apparently he got in a tussle with a damn Warlord and he walked away!"

Robin tensed up. "A formidable individual indeed…"

I shook my head in denial as I continued to read. "No… No, wait, that doesn't make any sense, he's skilled and his powers are weird, but I don't see how he could have actually managed to fight against—Ah," I concluded as I read the appropriate details. "Alright, now that makes more sense: Law and Bonney weren't the only ones working in pairs. Voodoo-boy had help from 'Red Flag' X. Drake, worth ฿266 million. The guy used to be a Marine Rear Admiral, but that's about the only solid thing I know; he's really hard to read, but one of the strongest Zoans I've seen, too. Makes sense that the two of them could at least go toe-to-toe with a Warlord. Ah!" I hastily snapped my head up as I realized what I was implying. "For the record, they didn't beat that Warlord, no, but they did manage to come out alive."

"Doesn't make them any less impressive…" Vivi mused thoughtfully.

"No kidding… Alright, we've still got three more to go… and we'll be continuing with Capone 'Gang' Bege: ฿277 million. Stereotypical mafia boss: father to his men, smart enough to know when to fold 'em. But if we wind up fighting, there is nobody in the world who the label 'one-man army' better applies to. And he… Uh…" I paused as I read over what was written before glancing up in confusion. "Ah… have any of you ever heard of Fort Lumose? It doesn't fall under my purview of knowledge."

"It's the World Government's main gold storage for the Grand Line, renowned for its high value and even higher security," Nami swiftly answered. A glazed look came over her eyes as a slight line of drool trailed out of her mouth. "And it's been the wet dream for many a thief over the years, myself included…"

"Huh…" I read over the poster again before proffering it to Nami. "Well, I guess Bege is living that dream, because he somehow managed to clean the place out."

"WHAT!?" Nami squawked, all but ripping the paper from from my hands as she tore through its contents.

"Robbed the place blind in all the confusion," I nodded in confirmation. "And knowing what I do of his powers, I've got a fairly good idea of how he did it, too."

Nami stared at the paper blankly for a second longer before… looking up with a blush!? "I think I might actually be in love…" she breathed.

I only just managed to place the bounties between my face and Sanji when he grabbed my collar. "Not the face, not the face! Besides, you never volunteered to raid Fort Lumose for her!"

Silence fell as Sanji forced his hand open and stalked away with a heavy drag of his cigarette. "…You live for today, Cross," he grit out. "You live for today."

I grimaced as I tugged my collar and started reading the bounties again. Then I did a double-take and grinned when I saw who was up next. "Ahh, here we go. My 'rival', 'Roar of the Sea' Scratchmen Apoo: ฿250 million. As for what he did…" I shot a grin at our ship guards. "You boys'll like this: he teamed up with the Great Kung Fu Fleet to take down a Marine task force."

"HA!" Boss shot his fist in the air triumphantly, while his students started exchanging chest bumps and highfives. "I didn't expect anything less from the Captain: kicking ass and taking the biggest names around so that they can nail them to the wall!"

"And last but certainly not least, 'Mad Monk' Urouge: ฿186 million. A native of a Sky Island, possibly Bilka, though I don't know that for sure, and he's overall a pretty good guy. Bit boisterous and maybe a bit spontaneous, but other than that…" I shrugged helplessly. "No idea. Anyway, as for what he did—"

I didn't just freeze. That implied a higher level of cognitive function than I actually possessed at the moment, because what I was reading—

"…Soundbite? Do the Takei."

"Ooooh myyyy," the snail obliged.

"Do we want to know?" Vivi deadpanned.

"…I'll let you judge," I whispered, slowly turning the poster to her.

Vivi quickly scanned it over before flushing like a torch. "Ooooh myyyy," she breathed.

"Ah, Vivi?" I winced sympathetically as I tapped her shoulder. "You've… got a little something…" I gestured at my own face.

Vivi blinked in confusion, patting around her face before wincing as she hastily wiped away the minute trail of blood she was sporting. "I… have no excuse," she concluded lamely.

I shook my head in disbelief as I gingerly placed the poster face down. "'Man of God' my ass…" I moaned.

"Different ways of worship?" Soundbite offered uneasily.

I considered that for a moment before shuddering. "No… No, that only makes it worse."

The silence hung in the air until Luffy dragged attention over to himself by clapping his hands together. "Alright, that was cool and we'll keep an eye out for those guys, but if that's everything you wanted to talk about, then I wanna get to our bounties!" Luffy exclaimed eagerly, snapping the tension like a twig.

I sighed in relief at that little distraction before nodding eagerly. "Alright, alright, I'm as eager as the rest of—er, most of you," I corrected myself as I felt a trio of glares hammer into me before bringing up the remaining bounties and grinning. "So, without further ado? Let's start at the tippy tippy top…" I laid down a poster sporting a very familiar grinning face. "With our very own 'Straw Hat' Monkey D. Luffy."

Everyone leaned forwards eagerly… and Luffy promptly shot his fists up with a victorious whoop.

"Woohoo, it went up!" Luffy cheered at the top of his lungs.

I nodded firmly in both awe and agreement. "By a mile, captain. From ฿300 million to 475? You have officially attained the highest bounty I myself have ever heard of. Heck, you've even managed to top the Warlords. All of them, as far as I know. They reaaaally want you dead!"

"Shishishi! Awesome!" my captain laughed as he pumped his fist in the air. The more sensible ones of the crew were rather subdued, but everyone else was rather awestruck.

"Next up, our first mate, 'Pirate Hunter' Roronoa Zoro. In the story, your bounty doubled to ฿120 million, entrenching you as the lowest of the Supernovas. And now…" I laid down the paper. "You're the second lowest, at ฿150."

"Tsk," Zoro grumbled, despite his wide grin. "So, unless the shit-cook has less than 75 million on his bounty, then I lost the bet… eh, what the hell." He started stretching his arms in preparation. "It's good impromptu training anyways. Bring it on."

"Suicidal morons…" Nami groaned, digging the heel of her hand into her forehead. "Screw it, in for a beri… you're already going down the ranks already, might as well keep going. Go ahead, rip it off like a bandaid. Tell me just how dead I am."

"Ask and you shall receive," I nodded as I started digging through the posters. "Little miss second mate, you have gone from the 'Cat Burglar' Nami worth a pittance of ฿16 million, to…" I slapped the poster down for all to see. And promptly stared in shock, along with everyone else. I slowly turned my stunned gaze to Zoro. "My apologies, Zoro," I breathed numbly. "You're not the second lowest Supernova. You're the third."

Nami's mouth hung open as she slowly picked up the poster and took in the long-range shot of herself standing on the deck of the Merry, Clima-Tact planted at her side and her thunderous Eisen Cloud wrapped around her like some kind of aura. The remaining traces of lightning in the air sure didn't hurt the image either.

"'Weather Witch' Nami…" the navigator breathed numbly. "Worth… 125 million?"

"And alongside that Barty guy…" Lassoo mused thoughtfully. "It looks like we have at least thirteen Supernovas."

"…Um… well, at least you weren't tricked into posing in a bikini?" I offered. "That really got Genzo's blood pressure pumping in the story."

Going by how Nami suddenly glared at me and her Cloud snapped to thunderous, that was not the right thing to say. "I'm pretty sure his pressure is still going to spike for another reason entirely! Let me make this easy for you: what the hell, Cross!?"

"Hey hey hey!" I raised my arms defensively. "In case you happened to forget, all I did was give you the Eisen Dial. You decided to fry ten battleships with enough voltage to power New York City, and yes that is impressive where I'm from!"

"I saved our lives!" Nami retorted.

"By frying ten battleships!"

Nami shut her mouth with an audible click, teeth grinding together, ozone starting to filter into the air. And then the clouds went back to normal right as she released an explosive sigh. "It's sad that I can't argue with that…" she muttered, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"If it's any consolation?" Robin offered in a gentle tone of voice. "I believe it's more a political move that's the fault of the World Government, rather than anything done by you yourself."

Nami snapped her eye open as she glanced at our archaeologist. "Explain?"

"Cross said it best," Robin shrugged. "You're the second mate of the Straw Hat Pirates, and we are currently among the most notorious pirates in the world. By ranking our officers so high, the World Government underlines the menace we pose as a group. It's also probably why Killer's bounty was lower than Cross expected, so as to further emphasize you and Zoro's bounties over his own." She then nodded at me. "I also imagine that there are in fact fourteen Supernovas in existence, counting our infamous third mate."

I frowned as I considered that. "Well, shit… that's no good, thirteen sounds way cooler than fourteen."

An ominous flash of lightning crackled around Nami as she clenched her jaw. "One more word like that and I really will punch you, Cross."

"Moving on!" I yelped as I scrambled with the bounties. "And since we've done it so far, let's continue in the order that we joined the crew… or at least that Luffy ran into us, though that's basically the same thing. So, where's Usopp's…"

"What was my old one, Cross?" the sniper asked eagerly.

"The same starting bounty as Luffy's, ฿30 million, but it wasn't for you, it was for the masked menace, Sniper King. But now—aha!" I said triumphantly, yanking out the relevant paper. "Well, it's still for the Sniper King, but he's not anonymous anymore. 'Sniper King' Usopp, ฿40 million. Congratulations, my good man, on an awesome bounty and an awesome picture." And with that, I slapped the poster down on the table.

Usopp looked at the picture of him standing on the Tower of Justice, Kabuto raised triumphantly over his head, and grinned as he saw the number. "I have a bounty…" he breathed in awe.

"Now, let's see here…" I said as I fingered through what I had left. "In the story, 'Black Leg' Sanji was renowned for being worth ฿77 million… PFF!" I snorted as I found the unmistakable image I needed. "And now he will be known the world over under the same name, worth ฿90 million… sorta, anyways."

"Huh?" Sanji, along with everyone else, looked at me quizzically - or at least with a quizzical expression. "What do you mean 'sorta'?"

"Well…" I snickered as I fought to keep myself under control. "They'll know you by name, anyways, but your picture…"

I held up the picture in question for Soundbite to see. The snail took one look at the poster…

"WAHAHAHA! HOOHOOHOO HEEHEEheeeeeHOOOHOHOOOO!"

Before absolutely dying with gut-busting laughter.

"Oooh, now this I gotta see!" Su laughed, hastily darting over clambering onto my opposing shoulder. "Is it as good as… it…" She trailed off into silence…

"TSEEHEEHEEHEE! TSEEHEEHEEHEEEHOOOH MY GOOOOD!"

Before falling off my shoulder howling, squirming around on the ground as she laughed. "I can't breathe, I CAN'T BREATHE!"

"What the hell's wrong with my poster, damn it!" Sanji demanded.

I considered that for a moment before shrugging and placing the poster down for all to see, and secured my headphones. "Congratulations, Sanji," I snickered. "You are officially one of the most infamous pirates in this day and age… for a completely unique reason."

For once, I was actually disappointed in the reaction. Sanji took one look at the wanted poster and just slumped forward, supporting himself with his hands on the table as a despondent cloud hanging over his head, accompanied by a mutter of "Who is this…?"

I blinked at the display before tilting my head to the side in disappointment. "Well, that was underwhelming…"

"≈√¡∞¢ç∫ߥ$œ¡γ¿∫‰£ç∂£‰¥!" Sanji howled in my face as he suddenly grabbed my collar and started shaking me vigorously.

"Ge-e-e-et him o-o-o-o-off of me-e-e-e!" I howled desperately.

The room was dead silent once my friends managed to wrestle our irate cook off of me, which gave me enough time to work out a weak "Translation?"

"SORRY, dude, THAT WAS ALL gibberish. LIKE, LITERAL gibberish," Soundbite answered dizzily, his eyes spinning wildly.

Still flopping bonelessly in Sanji's grip, I heard a rustle of paper, followed by Conis fighting to not laugh.

That was enough to snap Sanji out of his rage, and he dropped me on my ass before flopping back into one of the room's armchairs, staring vacantly up at the ceiling.

"Alright, all twisted humor aside," Vivi suggested, wincing as she looked the poster over herself. "Why don't we go ahead and correct this? We'll just use a Vision Dial to take a better picture, contact Smoker and—"

"NO."

The room jumped as I spoke up, and any protests died as I looked around at them with a dead serious expression. "I won't say much, but it is vital for our future that the world does not find out what Sanji looks like, and this time I adamantly swear to you that this is not a damn joke. If I do things right, we won't need it at all, but if anything goes wrong, then that picture will be critical in the future. The poster stays, no matter how embarrassing it might be, at least for now."

The following silence was deafening, but oddly enough, it was Sanji who recovered quickest, standing up and adjusting his collar uncomfortably. "…I'll trust you on this one, Cross," he said quietly, his tone utterly subdued and removing all possibility of argument. He then shot a glance at the poster Vivi was holding and shuddered. "Just… get it away from me, alright? Far, far, far away."

I nodded, but before I looked back at my collection of posters, I caught Zoro's eye. He gestured subtly at Nami and Vivi, and I nodded. He visibly fought to keep from smirking as I started rifling through the papers again.

"Alright, now for the moment I've really been waiting for…" I said eagerly, seizing on the paper as I saw my own form, posing rather epicly. I slowly withdrew it, and my face split with a grin at what I saw. "Oh, I am loving this so far. 'Voices of Anarchy' Jeremiah Cross and Soundbite—"

"HEY! How come I don't get MY OWN—"

And then all noise died as both he and I saw what was written in the bounty section.

For a few seconds, there was absolute silence and stillness as my partner and I stared wide-eyed at the poster.

"…OK, what's going on with you two?" Su scoffed, climbing up to my shoulder again. "Shouldn't you be cheering about this to literally all ends of the—"

Her mouth snapped closed and her eyes snapped wide open. Then she fell off my shoulder and dropped onto the floor, dead to the world and her tongue lolling out.

"Oh, for the love of you-know-who, it can't be that bad," Sanji growled, ripping the poster out of my numb hands. He then began choking as though he had tried to swallow a skeleton. It was with a wide-eyed look that he turned the poster around, showing it to the whole crew and causing them to stiffen as well.

"…I… I can't bring myself to feel upset about breaking 100 million anymore," Nami managed through an utterly dropped jaw. "This… ฿125 million is chump change compared to this."

"Unless I'm grossly mistaken?" Robin breathed. "I am fairly certain that most New World bounties are minor compared to this, and I am having a very difficult time recalling many others in the world with higher bounties."

"Speaking as someone who has intimate knowledge of the economics of the World Government, I never thought I'd find myself asking this, but… does the Navy even have that much liquid capital to spend on a single bounty?" Vivi squeaked.

"Technically yes, but usually when they lay down a bounty of this magnitude, it's because they never expect to actually pay it," Funkfreed explained solemnly.

"Words really do hit harder than anything else," Boss muttered.

"I think that you don't have to worry about there being fourteen Supernovas, Cross," Zoro said, his eyes still wide. "Because that… is way beyond those."

That finally made me snap out of my stupor. And really, there was only one thing I could say.

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

-o-

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

"…My my, Sengoku," Tsuru muttered as she dug a finger in her ear. "It appears I overestimated how much of your good sense remained regarding Cross."

"OHH, HELL NO!" Sengoku roared as he jabbed his finger at his long-time comrade. "YOU ARE NOT PINNING THIS MESS ON ME! I ORDERED AN ENTIRELY SANE BOUNTY OF 500 MILLION PLACED ON THAT MADMAN'S HEAD AND NOT A BERI MORE! THIS!?" He stabbed his finger on the face of the enemy of his health. "I WOULDN'T PUT A BOUNTY LIKE THIS ON THE SON OF DRAGON, AND I'M BEING LITERAL HERE!"

Tsuru's eyebrows rose, and she looked back at the report she was carrying. "You're either going senile…" she mused as she drew out a piece of paper and laid it on the Fleet Admiral's desk. "Or this really isn't your signature."

Sengoku snapped his gaze to the paper, peering closely at the page. He frowned contemplatively for a few moments.

After those few moments, all of the repair work that had been done to the tower was blown away as a common occurrence on the island reached an entirely new level of force and volume.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAARP!"

-o-

Once I managed to get my little freakout under control with the aid of a hastily-provided paper bag, I stared at Robin in terrified despair. "For the love of all that's holy, please tell me I'm not the most wanted man in the world. Because there's being wanted, and then there's…" The words died in my throat, and I could only gesture helplessly at the poster and what it proclaimed:

'Voices of Anarchy' Jeremiah Cross and Soundbite: ฿1,500,000,000

"That title still belongs to Dragon by a fair margin, Cross, don't worry," Robin was quick to reassure me. "And you're not second either. Rather, you're currently in the lower half of the top 20. There are quite a few people in the world above you."

I started to sigh in relief, but I paused as I noticed her glancing to the side hesitantly. "Robin… who is worth more than me?"

"Ah…" Robin started rubbing the back of her neck as she refused to meet my gaze. "Kaido, Charlotte Linlin, Edward Newgate…"

"Those are Emperors!" I wheezed incredulously.

Robin winced at my outburst. "Ah… if you don't like that, then I imagine you won't be happy to know that Smoothie, Cracker and Jack were among those who you bumped down a rank as well."

"Dare I ask who they are?" I moaned out from beneath the hand I was using to massage my face.

"…for the sake of your sanity, I think it'd be best if I refrained from answering," Robin decided.

I tried to find some way, any way to respond to that—

BWAAAAAAAAAH!

When Robin, I, and everyone else in the room then slapped our hands to our ears as a very familiar noise suddenly bellowed out in the room. All eyes fell on an orange-bandana'd dugong, who was currently rolling on his shell laughing.

"HAHAHAHAHA! That might have murdered my ears, but I've always wanted to do that," Mikey snickered.

"WE KNOW!" the other four Dugongs roared.

"HAHAHA… heh…" Mikey simmered down, looking around at all of our glares and shrugging. "Hey, someone needed to break the mood. Besides, Cross can flip out about his…" He chuckled under his breath. "Stupidly obscene bounty on his own time, I just want to see the rest of them ASAP! Agreed?"

Everyone—even Luffy—hesitated.

"…Yeah."

Robin snapped her attention to me in shock. "Cross—!"

"I-It's alright," I reassured her, smiling weakly as I pulled myself together. "I am… still flipping out a bit that my head is worth what I have no doubt qualifies as a literal king's ransom… but I can deal with that later. For now?" I picked up the bounties I dropped and started shuffling through the names. "Let's move on and give everyone else their limelight!"

"Yeah!" Soundbite nodded eagerly. "PERSONALLY? I'M HAPPY! THAT'S A DOUBLE-BOUNTY! I'M THE MOST WANTED SNAIL in the world! I'm content, so let's get back to it!"

The tense atmosphere slowly faded, and soon enough, everyone who hadn't received their bounties yet was looking at me eagerly again. Nodding to myself, I looked down at the frontmost poster. Then, for the second time that day, I did a double-take. And then I smirked as a positively evil idea occurred to me.

"Hey, Cottontail!"

All lingering grogginess snapped out of Su as she snarled at me. "I put up with that from the slimeball and Conis, but who the blue hell gave you permission to call me that?"

"The World Government," I snickered as I held up the poster I'd spied. "Congratulations, it's your official epithet now!"

Su stiffened, her jaw dropping in shock. "I… I actually have a bounty?"

"Su has a bounty?!" Conis gasped in agreement.

"Yup!" I nodded hastily, only just managing to keep my grin off my face. "Matter of fact… you're worth 2000 times what Chopper was!"

"Really!?" Chopper gasped, snapping into his Heavy Point and staring over my shoulder. "Let me see, let me see!"

"Same here, same here!" the fox in question squealed, clambering up onto Chopper's shoulder again and joining him in staring at the poster eagerly… before bristling furiously. "'COTTONTAIL' SU WORTH A MEASLY ฿100 THOUSAND?! 'PET'!? I'M GOING TO CLAW SOMEBODY'S FUCKING THROAT OUT!"

"Wait, what do you mean? Conis introduced you as her pet," I asked quizzically.

"That was when I was still a civvie, now I'm a part of the damn crew! I'm not a pet, I'm the—!"

"Bullet-monkey?" Soundbite chirped innocently.

"Yes!" Su jabbed her paw at the snail before stiffening as she fully registered his words. "NO! I'm not the bullet-monkey, I'm the powder-monkey! Powder-fox! GRAH!" Su collapsed flailing onto her back as she scratched her head in outrage.

"Wait, one-hundred…" Chopper's face screwed in thought for a moment. Then his eyes went blank with the utmost of outrage. "WHAT ARE YOU WHINING ABOUT, YOU SNIVELLING RODENT!? I WAS WORTH FIFTY!"

"He was worth fifty?" everyone else asked incredulously.

I shrugged nonchalantly, my smirk remaining fixed. "The World Government confused 'Cotton Candy Lover' Tony Tony Chopper for our crew's pet, soooo yeah."

Chopper's face split into a sickly smile, his eyes seeming to shine cyan. "'Cotton. Candy Lover'… 'Pet'… hehe… heeheeheeheehee… hahahahahaHAHAHAHAAAAA!" The suddenly psychopathic reindeer threw his head back and cackled malevolently. "SOMEBODY'S HEAD IS GOING TO ROLL FOR THIS! HAHAHA—!"

I hastily shuffled through the posters and sighed in relief with what I came up with. "Even when they're calling you the 'Spark of Genius' and valuing you at ฿66 million?"

"HAHA—eh?" Chopper cut himself off, snapping back to his Brain Point and leaving Su to drop to the ground with an indignant squawk.

"See for yourself!" I proclaimed, turning the poster so that he could see the side-by-side pictures of himself in both his Brain and Heavy Points, both holding scalpels and vials in their respective hooves and hands, and both with unmistakable gleams in their eyes and grins, the former relatively more adorable and the latter unmistakably menacing. Probably trying to emphasize the Jekyll and Hyde angle, if I had to guess.

Chopper shakily accepted the poster, staring at it in numb silence, before breaking out into a massive grin, stars of awe twinkling in his eyes, all while he himself started dancing in place. "I have my own bounty! I have my own bounty! I bet Doctorine'll hang it up in her office, and even use it for target practice when she's bored!"

I opened my mouth to ask why he would ever dare be happy about that. I then closed it, because such things were better left unknown, and started rifling through the posters for the next one. As I saw the shock of blue hair, I grinned and plucked it out. "OK, next we move on to our very own 'Corsair Princess', who has boosted from ฿55 million to—!" My words died in my throat as I saw the poster in full. "…oh, your poor father," I finally concluded lamely.

"POOR KOHZA more like!" Soundbite cackled before cocking his head to the side thoughtfully. "Actually, on second thought? HE MIGHT ENJOY this turn of EVENTS."

"Oh, don't tell me those bastards actually had the balls to make me a Supernova, too?" Vivi asked in equal parts dread and anger.

"No…" I hedged uncomfortably, wincing as she sighed in relief. "But they did make you infamous for a whole other reason, namely by playing you for a patsy again, the same way they played Nami in the story."

I handed her the poster. She took one look at it and… well, I couldn't be sure if she was trying to pale or blush. Probably both. "Meep," she squeaked fearfully.

I couldn't exactly fault her for her brain stalling like that. After all, learning that you're suddenly worth ฿80 million Only Alive is one thing… but learning that you're worth ฿80 million and that your bounty picture is basically you posing like a centerfold is another entirely.

Still… hands holding her hair up behind her head, a bikini that was modest and yet at the same time generous, and all at an angle that even made her scar look good? Credit to Attachan, the man could snap a good picture if nothing else. Though unless I missed my mark?

"He said it was for charity and I just wanted to get used to my scar…" Vivi wept almost comically.

I doubted that that made things any better for the subject in question.

"Oh, you sweet summer child…" Nami sighed as she laid a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder.

"THE HELL ARE YOU PITYING ME FOR!?" said friend roared, nearly ripping Nami's hand off. "YOU FELL FOR IT TOO, AND I BET YOU DID IT PURELY FOR THE DAMN MONEY!"

"Yeah," Nami nodded slowly, not even missing a beat. "But that was in a story, and knowing, well, me, I most likely did it for the sake of getting paid upfront and with cash. In this reality, I didn't get plastered over the bedroom walls of 'interested parties' the world over for free."

Vivi considered that for a moment…

"WAAAAAAAH!"

Before collapsing to her knees and bawling out near literal fountains of tears.

"Thewe thewe, Vivi…" Carue patted her back comfortingly. "It's awight, it's awight, we'we get thwough this togethah, I pwomise!"

"Well, now."

All eyes turned to Robin as she suddenly spoke, holding the currently offending poster in one of her hands. "It would appear that there is an addendum to Princess Nefertari's bounty. Something about her being accompanied by a 'Carue the Duck', but not having a picture of him."

"RAAAAAAAGH!" the gypped princess howled as she started throttling her panicked bodyguard.

"Chopper, stop dancing and sedate her," I sighed before casting a glance at Robin. "And you. …really?"

The archaeologist cocked her head to the side with a beatific smile. "Are you saying you don't see the family resemblance?"

I had to fight to keep a bigger smile off my face as I flashed her her bounty. "Laugh it up, 'Devil Child'. You've bounced up from ฿80 million to knocking on the heavens' doors. A little more before we hit Sabaody and there really will be fourteen Supernovas."

Robin cocked her eyebrow as she took in her poster. "฿99 million…" She was silent before smiling. "Well, at least they finally updated my picture. And they got my good side at that. Now if only they'd be so kind as to update my juvenile epithet."

"HEY!"

THWACK!

"OUCH!" I hopped on my left leg when my right was suddenly the recipient of a vicious charlie-horse. "The hell—!?"

"No cutting in line!" Boss snorted as he cocked his fist back menacingly. "My boys and I should have been next, not her!"

"Actually, Boss," Robin corrected with a hum. "Seeing as I both met Luffy before you and I was onboard Merry before you, I believe that to be false."

The rough-and-ready dugong paused as he considered that tidbit before shuffling about on his tail with a blush. "Ah hell, you've actually got a point! My bad, Cross. No hard feelings?"

"Why, I oughta—!" I bit out darkly before flinging the poster in question at the ungrateful sea-bull. "80 mil for the 'Bastard of the Sea', or 'Man' as they're calling you, happy!?"

"'Man of the Sea'!? HELL YES!" Boss gasped before cheering happily waving around the poster of himself shooting a thumbs-up at the photographer. Oddly enough, there was a somewhat untidy scrawl on the corner of the photo that… almost looked like—?

"Tell me you did not autograph that…" I grit out irritably.

"How was I supposed to know he was Marine!?" the dugong demanded. "I thought he was just an eager fan or something, what else was I supposed to do?"

"Tsk…" I shook my head as I looked through the posters. "Well, regardless, I saw a name in here that indicates you're batting two-for—seriously!?" I squawked, snapping the picture around for the little bastards to lay eyes on. "I just… really? Really?"

"I-I-I can explain!" Donney hastily scrambled to cover. "W-W-What you see there is an ancient, ah, d-dugong, uh… warrior—!"

"We did a group pose, alright?" Raphey interrupted shamelessly. "It was harmless fun, and it's not like you have any room to complain. Don't think I forgot about your little stunt last night for even a second."

"It's not the posing that I'm taking issue with," I ground out. "So much as the damn pose itself! Where the hell did you even learn about, to reiterate, that damn pose in the first place!?"

"I blame the snail!" Mikey hastily yelped.

"I too blame the snail!" Raphey concurred.

"I will also blame the snail," Leo nodded solemnly.

"I… actually," Donny cupped his chin thoughtfully. "Seeing as it is his fault…" He stabbed his flipper at Soundbite. "I blame the snail as well!"

I slowly turned my glare on Soundbite. "You taught them," I bit out. "The Ginyu Force Pose."

Soundbite leaned in with an ear-to-ear grin. "I REGRET nothing. Just be glad I DIDN'T GO JOJO."

I seriously debated for the next few seconds taunting him with how much salt we would be using in the next arc, but in the end, I wasn't that bad. Instead, I sighed angrily, and withdrew the poster proper. "Alright, go ahead and celebrate, 'Disciples of the Sea.'"

The TDWS froze. "We… We get Boss' old name as our epithet?" Leo breathed in awe.

"Apparently?" I shrugged, unsure as to what they were talking about. "But as I said, two-for-two for Boss because as the leader of your little band, Leo," I nodded at the suddenly and ironically shell-shocked dugong. "Also gets the epithet of 'Half-Shell Blade'. He's worth ฿15 million while the rest of you are worth ฿10 million apiece for a grand total of ฿45 million."

"Wah…" Leo breathed numbly. "I… Half-Shell—?! B-But that's—WOAH!" he yelped when he was suddenly foisted off his tail by Raphey and Mikey and onto their shoulders.

"Three cheers for the 'Half-Shell Blade'!" Raphey cried happily. "Hip hip!"

"HOORAY!" the Dugongs cheered as one, carrying their leader off as they kept cheering.

"Hmph, so I won…" Boss mused as he chomped on his cigar proudly. "Didn't doubt it for a second… but I'll pass on the prize. Fending off the captain is good training!"

I couldn't keep a fond smile off my face as I saw them celebrate, but I shook my head as I looked back at the few posters left in my hand. The frontmost was the next one on the agenda.

"Well, if that's the case…" I swung my arm out at our gunner. "Then I guess that 'Angel of Destruction' Conis wins the bet with a whoppingly lucky ฿77 million to her name!"

"Wait, wha—?" Conis blinked numbly in shock.

"See for yourself!" I confirmed as I handed her her bounty, which had a rather impressive shot of Conis sitting in the midst of a large number of disassembled guns. "Attachan must have snapped this through the window while you were maintaining your arsenal."

"And on the subject of the bet, well… above the old of ฿55," Su clarified in a slightly melancholy tone as she hopped back onto her mistress's shoulder. "And yet below the new ฿80. Congratulations, Conis, I'll defend your food with my life!… for what little it's apparently worth, anyways…"

"Hey, it's better than 50!" I said cheerfully, ignoring the very violent way Chopper twitched nearby.

"Uh, Cross?"

All eyes turned towards Merry, who had been silent up until then. "You still have some posters there. Is… Is one of them… mine?" she asked quietly.

"Eh…" I hedged uncomfortably as I started shuffling through the rest of the bounties I was holding. "I… dunno, Merry, all I'm seeing here is a bunch of bog-standard no-names. You only became human recently, so I don't oh what the hell," I transitioned seamlessly as I pulled up yet another bounty. "'White Menace' Going Merry, worth ฿50 million?!… sweet heck, Garp is vindictive."

"YE CALL IT VINDICTIVE, I CALL IT GENEROUS!" Merry threw her arms up happily. "THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN' ABOUT, MATEYS!"

I smiled as I watched her and everyone else celebrate, taking advantage of the distraction to discreetly pocket the poster of one 'Cyborg' Franky, worth ฿70 million, before glancing through the rest of the posters, and frowning.

"Huh. Sorry, Lassoo, Funkfreed, but this time I'm certain: you guys really aren't in here," I muttered with a frown.

The sword and gun exchanged looks before shrugging indifferently.

"Makes sense," Funkfreed snorted. "I only joined a few days ago well after the fact."

"And honestly, we're fine with that," Lassoo nodded. "After all, who ever heard of a bounty for a weapon? Nah, our fame will be from word of mouth and whispers, and that is fine by us. 'Sides…" he grinned eagerly. "Your fame is our fame, so right now, we're both worth, well… that."

I felt chills down my spine as I got hit with that reminder, and hastily chained it up beneath a weak chuckle. "Right… OK, so, anyways, with that all over and done with, I think I'm going to go for a walk… listen to some music…" My eye twitched furtively. "Try to keep my calm about this new development…"

A few of my crewmates exchanged hesitant glances, but Luffy just smiled and waved innocently. "Have fun, Cross."

I sighed in relief before walking towards the door. "I'll just be out for awhile so that I can cool off. Funkfreed, Lassoo, you two alright with staying here?"

"Hmm…" Lassoo tapped his chin as he looked up in faux-thought. "Go with you and do nothing as you walk around or stay here and catch some Zs… well, heck, boss-man, it's a real doozy, but—!"

THWACK!

"YIPE!" Lassoo yelped as a trunk of flesh thwapped the back of his head.

Funkfreed held a flat glare on his senior for a bit before waving his trunk at me with a smile. "We'll just stay here, you have fun!"

"If you need any anesthetics, you know who to call!" Chopper offered.

"Don't let the door knock your inflated skull on the way out," Nami sighed.

"Just… don't burn down the city again, alright?" Vivi requested in a slightly slurred voice.

"Ah, c'mon, Vivi!" I turned around and spread my arms with a laugh as I walked out. "When have I ever done that twice on the same island?"

The princess laid her head on a table with a groan. "I can't believe that I'm accepting that as an answer to any question…"

I turned back around with a chuckle as I shut the door, but the moment it closed behind me, my smile slid off as I power-walked away at a pace that was just under a run. For a few minutes, there was just silence as I walked.

"…so…" Soundbite finally managed to start.

"Holy shit, did you see that freaking number!?" I hissed frantically, forcing my voice to stay below a holler.

Soundbite's face paled to an ashen white. "SWEET HECK I haven't ever heard of a NUMBER THAT BIG ACTUALLY BEING USED FOR anything that wasn't made of solid gold!"

"Soooo many zeroes in a row, all on a single piece of paper, a single number…" I dragged my hands down my face with a groan. "I think you could run a small country off my head!"

"NO, I COULD RUN A SMALL COUNTRY, you could fund a medium one." my snail shuddered miserably before casting a sidelong glance at me. "JUST… HOW SCREWED are we exactly?"

"Ah…" I scratched at the back of my skull frantically. "Short-term… maybe very much, maybe not at all? Depends on whether or not the user of the Hot-Hot Fruit actually exists or if I was just blowing hot air on the Rocket Man. Long-term, though…" I felt a slight pit open in my gut as images of sky-scraping trees and blood-stained chains and bubbles flashed through my mind "…there could be issues. With any luck, we'll have reinforcements once we hit the end of Paradise, but we'll still need to have people watching our backs, and you'll have to keep your, well… you know what I mean."

"That bad, huh?" Soundbite groaned.

"Well, we are worth a small…" I trailed off when I noticed my snail giving me a flat look before sighing in defeat. "Alright, an average kingdom's national budget, so yeah, people are going to be after our heads. But short of getting the Government to somehow lower our bounties—"

"Never gonna happen."

"Or us de-escalating our rhetoric."

Soundbite snarled murderously. "AFTER WHAT WAS IN that book and WHAT SPANDAM DID?! SCREW THAT."

I shrugged in determined resignation. "Then I guess our only option is to watch our backs and not let ourselves be caught alone, simple as that."

Soundbite started to nod in agreement - before stiffening and darting his eyes at an upcoming alleyway. "You mean like we are RIGHT NOW?"

I spared a glance at the alleyway, then went back to staring dead ahead as I walked, flexing my gauntlet-clad fingers all the while. "Yeah, alright, you have a point there," I smiled tightly. "But come on, we've already been jumped twice in this city, what are the chances of us getting a hat-tri—?"

I had tempted fate enough times by now that I wasn't remotely surprised when a strong arm snapped out of the alley's shadows and dragged me in. Just as I was expecting, as evidenced by my jumping with the motion, thus catching my assailant off-guard and giving me the leeway I needed to grab them and shove them into the wall, my forearm at their throat and my Gum-Gum Pistol-charged Impact Gauntlet in their face.

"Twitch and I will paste your skull," I warned them tightly. "Get mugged once, shame on me, get mugged twice—"

"Still get mugged because your mugger knows Fishman Karate," my assailant grumbled out around my hand.

I blinked in confusion. "The heck—?" The beri dropped when said mugger's hand suddenly snapped up and grabbed my wrist. "…ah, shi—!"

THWUMP!

"GAGH!" I gasped into the ground, pain shooting through me as I suddenly found myself flipped and slammed to the ground in a single blur, with my right arm twisted up and behind my back by a stupidly iron-hard grip.

"LET HIM GO OR PREPARE TO MEET YOUR—mmph!?" Soundbite's roar suddenly choked off into a wordless and distinctly unpowered gurgle. I was confused for a second… but then I got a whiff of salt and I realized just what had been used to gag Soundbite.

"Sea prism stone…" I muttered under my breath before speaking up. "I call hax."

I winced as my arm was tugged, indicating that… my captor suddenly tensed? "Damn, you are good. Guess I shouldn't be surprised that you know my mentor, huh?"

I blinked in confusion for all of a second. Then I recalled what little of my captor I'd seen when I was holding them, and suddenly reality hit me hard. "…Koala?"

No sooner did the name leave my mouth than I felt myself getting jerked up to my feet and spun around, bringing me face-to-face with the only human practitioner of Fishman Karate, who was smiling sheepishly and scratching the back of her head. "Sorry for the rough handling there, Cross," she chuckled apologetically. "But this had to be private, and getting close to you and your crew isn't exactly an easy task. Especially with the self-proclaimed 'god of noise' within arm's reach of you at all hours of the day."

"PTOOIE!" Soundbite spat out the bar of oceanic metal before scowling darkly. "I oughta rip your eardrums OUT BY THEIR—!" The gastropod suddenly stopped without warning, blinking in complete confusion before recoiling back. "Uh… what the hell is ON YOUR BACK and why does it make me want to piss my shell? BENEATH THE HOPE AND PRIDE, I mean."

I promptly slapped Soundbite upside his stupid shell as Koala paled and a far-off look entered her eyes. "Sorry about that, big mouth and a small brain, he doesn't know better," I apologized.

"Just like you."

I didn't even miss a beat in slapping him again before forging on. "Anyways, brushing past that utterly inept faux-pas," I prompted, thankfully prompting Koala to shake her head with a slight shudder. "Care to tell me what business the Revolutionary Army has with me and mine?"

Koala spared an uncertain glance at Soundbite before nodding firmly. "Ah… yeah, sure. And… right now, this isn't the Revolutionary Army talking to you, it's just me. There are two things I really need to do."

"Uh…" I blinked in confusion. "Al…right? I guess? What's the fir—ooph!?"

I was cut off by the wind being knocked out of me by Koala, one of the strongest and most influential women on the seas, outright glomping me.

"Thank you…" she whispered into my chest, and I was distinctly aware of a pair of wet spots suddenly appearing in my shirt. "Thank you thank you thank you thank you so much for everything you said, everything you've been saying, just… all of it. Nobody's ever said it before, not like that… before, I thought, I thought…" She shook her head. "I don't know what I thought, but now… peace. Actual peace and tolerance between fishmen and humans… now it feels real and possible it's all thanks to you and…" She raised her head and smiled tearfully at me. "And I just… I don't think I can ever thank you enough for everything you said."

Slowly, tentatively, I returned the embrace she was giving me, and smiled. "You're welcome," I managed; I wanted to say more, talk about what I knew had happened that made me speak that way, ask for her help, her involvement in what I wanted to accomplish. But honestly, I knew that that would just circle right around to a past that had no good point to touch on, so in the end it was probably best that I just move the conversation forwards.

"And… what's the second thing?" I finally asked.

Koala's expression promptly died. "This."

CRACK!

I collapsed onto my back with a gurgle, my brain ringing and my jaw aching like crazy, and before the darkness took ahold of me I managed to make out one last sentence.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING 'CUDDLY' YOU BIG-MOUTHED SON OF A—!?"

Hello, darkness, my old friend… I've come to talk with you again…

-o-

I groaned as I once again clawed my way back to consciousness. Damn, I was going under way too many times in the same month… And as swiftly as I'd been KO'd, the memories that had been knocked out of my brain came rushing back, and I knocked the back of my head against whatever I was leaning against. "Yeah, shoulda seen that comin'…" I muttered acridly.

The next thing I became aware of was that I was sitting on a rather hard ground, with a wall or—no, a railing behind me. Willing my neurons to fire properly, I grabbed at the top of the railing and pulled myself to my feet as I cracked my eyes open, intent on discovering just where I'd been dragged off… to… oh, holy fuck.

I'd later look back on that day as the record for how many times in however long I'd been out I'd felt my damn blood freeze. Because based on what my senses had gathered, I had expected us to be in some sort of hotel or something, one of many easily-overlooked locations in the island metropolis of Water 7, or even on the lip of the city's fountain.

But the sight before me immediately disproved that. I wasn't in a hotel. I wasn't even on Water 7 anymore. Hell, I wasn't even sure that I was on the Grand freaking Line. I wasn't anywhere that I had ever been before, but that sure as hell didn't mean I didn't recognize it in an instant.

Because, really, I'd have to be a complete idiot not to draw the connection between being knocked out by a high-ranking Revolutionary and being on a balcony looking out to a very vast, very barren and rocken, and above all else, a very white desert.

"Baltigo," I breathed.

"Impossibly well-informed indeed," came a deep voice from beside me. One that I vaguely recognized; I had heard it once before, right before we left Loguetown.

I swallowed heavily as I railroaded my thoughts into order. "More like common sense. I might never have seen this place before, but it is known as the Land of White Soil…" I turned to face one of the few men in the world who outranked me in terms of bounty. "And far more importantly, it's renowned as the headquarters of you and everyone who works for you, Dragon the Revolutionary."

The tall man's tattoo crinkled as he smirked. "Do you mean Dragon the Revolutionary… or Monkey D. Dragon?"

I winced and scratched my cheek self-consciously. "Yeeeaaah, sorry about that. I started up the SBS because I thought it'd keep Garp from arresting us, but it turned out he'd already taken precautions and… well, it was a shitshow on… all… wait a—!" I tensed furiously as I processed just what the hell was wrong with this scene. "Alright… you listen and you listen good: you might be the greatest hero in the world and I can excuse being abducted, barely, but I will smack that damn familial smirk off your face if you don't tell me where the hell Soundbite is, and I mean right—!"

"So, that whole 'brash and belligerent' attitude really isn't an act, huh?"

"NOPE! He just naturally refuses TO TAKE SHIT FROM ANYONE! HE COULD STAND TO pick better hills to die on, though."

I spun around to catch sight of Koala casually strolling up to me, Soundbite in her palm, the smiles they were sporting indicating that they'd somehow become fast friends while I was out.

"Well," I scoffed as I crossed my arms. "You've managed to get along swimmingly in what I can only pray was a surprisingly short amount of time."

"Ohh, not that swimmingly," she scoffed as she tossed me Soundbite, who I caught and returned to my shoulder. "I don't know how you do what you do. I tried it, his weight threw my balance off something fierce."

"Sheer practice," I groused before shooting a glare at Soundbite. "What, no SOS to the crew once I got cold-clocked?"

Soundbite snickered. "Hey, you're not the only one who slept with the Sea Kings. I ONLY WOKE UP A FEW MINUTES AGO. AS FOR ME LIKING THE FIRECRACKER, WEEELL…" His leer took on a malevolent overtone. "LET'S JUST SAY she put me in contact with a few brothers-in-shell who gave me a LOT TO THINK ABOUT."

"…Fair enough," I nodded, before turning back towards the island's master. "Well, before we get started, couldn't we have had this conversation back on Water 7? I mean…" I snorted as I jerked my thumb at the main bulk of the tower. "I'm half-expecting the alarms to start sounding any second now as my crew storms this place and puts your men very painfully out of commission. Besides, in case you missed the memo, the island's gone Revolutionary now. Not much risk, ne?"

Dragon and Koala both chuckled. "First of all, Cross, if it were that easy for anyone to find this island, we would have packed up and left long ago," Koala said.

"And second," Dragon picked up. "I sincerely doubt that my son and his friends would be here anytime soon even if he did know where we were."

I cocked my eyebrow at him flatly. "So did Spandam, and you know how well that turned out for him."

Dragon's ever-present grin flinched for a moment before growing wider and darker. "Oh, I'm perfectly aware of how things turned out for Director Spandam. In fact, I'm tempted to thank the World Government now, though I doubt they're even aware of how much their vindictiveness has benefited us."

I looked at him in puzzlement for a moment, and then my cheeks started to hurt from how much I was grinning like an absolute psychopath.

"Ohhh, please tell me that they placed him exactly where I expect they did."

-o-

-Eighteen Hours Earlier-

"So," Emporio Ivankov mused as he (at the moment) took a sip from the martini glass he was swirling. "You found him where exactly?"

"In an isolated cell, far away from any Visual Snails, with a nice big sign hung around his neck reading 'fresh meat'," Inazuma replied with a sip of his (at the moment) wineglass. "At a guess, they wanted him to experience whatever unknown hell the so-called 'Demon Tug' produced, sir."

The Newkama queen took a moment to process that before a wide grin donned his face. "Hee-haw! Ben-boy!"

"Yes, oh king of queens!" the ever-shifting assassin crowed, spinning up to him.

"Swap out with one of the comms-men again and call this number," Ivankov ordered, handing him a card that Bentham briefly scanned before tossing into a nearby torch. "The 'greatest hero in the world' needs to hear about this as soon as possible."

"Be back in a jiff!" Bentham swore before darting off down the carved-out corridors.

Ivankov watched the clone-human run off before dropping his smile and glancing at the scissor-human next to him. "Ina-boy, be a darling and fetch me a new outfit, would you? I'm about to absolutely ruin the one I'm in."

Inazuma fell into a deep bow. "At once, Queen Ivankov."

And with that, Inazuma spun on his heel and strode off.

Once he was gone, Ivankov turned his suddenly predatory smile onto the shivering, shackled and gagged man held within the cell he was standing before. "So, Spanda-boy," Emporio Ivankov crooned, his fingers sharpening into syringes. "Why don't you do me a favor and tell me aaaaall about whatever else was in that itsy bitsy, eentsy weentsy little black book of yours, hm?" He cocked his head to the side. "Juuust for starters, you know?"

-o-

-Present Time-

"—HAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! Ohohoh, now that is karma if I've ever seen it!" I gasped.

"I will admit to finding the whole affair rather therapeutic myself," Dragon chuckled in agreement. "And besides my own personal feelings on the matter, the intelligence we've been acquiring has been quite beneficial to our operations."

"So many secrets…" Koala sighed wistfully. "Horrifying and nightmarish, sure, but undeniably useful."

"Pfhahahahaaaahaha…" I wound down into a breathless chuckle as I nodded in agreement. "Ohh, I can only imagine… still, if you don't mind, would it be alright with you guys if I exposed those secrets on my own time via the SBS?"

That got Koala blinking in confusion. "Huh? How could you pull that off? Wasn't that book destroyed?"

"Alternative sources," I smirked as I crossed my arms behind my head. "I recently recruited Spandam's old sword into my arsenal, and I fully intend to interview him at the earliest convenience."

"HE'S AN elephant-Zoan who never left his side," Soundbite explained gleefully.

Koala took a moment to process that before collapsing into stitches.

"Hmm," Dragon cupped his chin thoughtfully before shrugging. "Very well, then, go ahead. We're already acting on the information we've acquired, and Ivankov can pump him for all his intel faster than you'll be interviewing your sword. We should be over and done with pertinent operations by the time you divulge the information."

I clapped my hands with a contented smile. "Then we have an accord!"

The next instant, Dragon's expression shifted to stone-cold seriousness. "While we're on the subject of 'alternative sources'—"

My own expression went blank as I snapped my fingers. "Gastro-Scramble," I stated flatly, and Dragon raised an eyebrow as static filled the air. "I'm willing to tell you my secret, but fair warning? It's far beyond the madness that the Grand Line, ah, 'normally' produces."

"I see," Dragon nodded as he crossed his arms. "So, is it centered around time travel or dimensional travel?"

I cocked an eyebrow slightly. "Ooor I suppose you might be familiar with this particular situation already."

Dragon lifted his head proudly as his smirk took on a predatory gleam. "I deal with the entire world. Paradise, New World and all the Blues… individually they're impressive, but once you experience them all, nothing really fazes you anymore."

"…Not even Garp's stupidity at saying your name while saying he wasn't going to?"

Dragon's smirk twitched minutely. "Almost nothing."

I briefly toyed with the thought of bringing up four specific initials, but honestly, that was a question to which I really didn't want to know the answer, so I settled for leaning against the railing with my arms crossed. "I got drop-kicked here from two dimensions to the left, where I was an avid fan of the story of how your son rose to become Pirate King. Said story was still ongoing, so I have gaps and I've already been causing ripples, but it's done me some measure of good."

An incredulous scoff came from beside us. "Nice one, Cross. Pull the other one," Koala chuckled, waving her hand dismissively.

Dragon, meanwhile, didn't even miss a beat. "Well, let's get to business, then, shall we?"

"What, you mean you don't want even the barest hint of what's coming?" I asked, noting Koala in my peripheral vision as she alternated her gaze between the two of us, the blood draining from her face and a mix of shock and horror creeping into her expression as she finally pegged onto the fact that I was, in fact, entirely serious.

"Tsk," Dragon waved his hand dismissively. "I intend to give the world the answer I come to by my own devices, not by cheating and utilizing what fluid knowledge you have. After all…" His smirk widened to a far more familiar point. "Where would be the fun in that?"

I processed that for a moment before throwing my head back with a cackle. "PFHAHAHA! Ah geeze, I don't know if you're actually Garp's son or the devil's, but you're definitely a Monkey, definitely a D, and absolutely Luffy's father!"

"I coulda told you that for free!" Soundbite cackled. "SERIOUSLY, THE SMILE ALONE! HeeheeheeHOOHOO—!"

"Alright, chit-chat time is over," I cut him off, the mirth draining from my face and causing Soundbite to sober up just as swiftly. "You still haven't answered my first question. Why am I here, because it sure as heck isn't to shoot the shit with you." I crossed my arms and shifted my stance into a more… aggressive one. "Whatever it is, I suggest we get it over with ASAP, because if I miss the christening of my crew's new ship, I'm going to be pissed."

Dragon and Koala snapped to serious just as swiftly, all traces of brevity evaporating instantly.

"You are here so that I may offer you a position in my army, Jeremiah Cross and Soundbite," Monkey D. Dragon announced, clearly and without a trace of hesitation.

Soundbite and I exchanged a look before I rolled my fingers for him to continue.

The original Revolutionary didn't so much as twitch as he turned away from us, staring unflinchingly over the white expanse that lay stretched out before us.

"From the very first day you started the SBS, you've been an invaluable ally to my efforts," he began. "Alabasta was not the only country that your words caused to revolt against the World Government's tyranny within the last four months, even discounting the massive spike over the course of the past four days. You've made your stance clear on where you stand, and you've proven you have the nerve to defend it to the point of death. And with the impossible knowledge that you possess, even discounting future events, you would be even more of a help by my side."

"I'm not leaving the Straw Hat Pirates," I said at once.

"And I'm not asking you to," Dragon chuckled dryly in denial. "I'm not such a fool that I imagine myself capable of breaking my son's grasp on your loyalty, or his grasp on any of your fellow crewmates. Nor am I so small-minded as to think that a man cannot effectively offer his loyalties to two flags at the same time, especially seeing as I cannot conceivably imagine a scenario where said flags would ever come in conflict with one another. Even so…"

He shot a stone-cold glance at me. "Let me be as clear as I possibly can: I'm not offering you a position as a simple member, nor even an executive. I'm offering you a partnership, to lead the Revolutionary Army alongside me, at the same rank as Sabo himself, so that we might accelerate both of our efforts to overthrow the World Government and show the world the truth."

I cocked my eyebrow. "Where is Chief of Staff Sabo, by the by?"

"Anywhere not even remotely close to here," Koala answered. "Seriously, as nice as it is for the poor bastard to have his memories back, just mentioning Luffy's name is enough to get him talking everyone's ears off about his 'awesome baby brother.' And seeing one of his crewmates here?" She waved her hand with a dismissive 'tsk'. "I respect Sabo to hell and back, but he'd still be running his mouth and having you run yours if he were here, and right now we need to concentrate on business."

"That does sound like him," I admitted. "If I recall correctly, Ace always talks the Whitebeard Pirates' ears off about Luffy whenever he comes up, too. Even other D.s aren't immune to him." Pulling my train of thought back on the tracks, I looked back at Dragon. "What exactly would this… relationship you're proposing entail?"

"Simple enough matters for the time being," Dragon waved his hand casually. "Facilitating global communications, some management here and there, as well as an exchange of contacts and whatever other informants I don't doubt you've managed to acquire over the course of your, frankly, rather esteemed career. Rest assured, we shall freely respond in turn. I suppose that the best way to describe it all…"

He turned to me and donned his familial ear-to-ear grin, holding his hand out to me.

"You would be our partner," Dragon concluded. "In Revolution."

For the longest time, I just… stared at Dragon's hand, the weight of that gesture plainly visible, considering all the possibilities and all the implications that would arise from accepting it. All the advantages aligning myself with him would grant me, all the tools that would be at my disposal.

And it was with those things in mind that I slowly reached my hand out to his, and slapped it before drawing my hand back.

"Sorry to inform you, Dragon," I shrugged with honest regret. "But you're four months late and a heck of a lot of initiative short. I'm afraid that I've already got plans of my own."

Koala and Soundbite's jaws dropped, but Dragon's expression was impassive. "You would still be perfectly able to continue the operations you already have going," he assured me. "I don't doubt for an instant that you're doing good work."

I nodded my head to the side, grimacing. "Eh, we're still kind of in the 'digging our roots' stage of matters, but I appreciate the sentiment, and I feel the same way towards you, but that's not why I'm saying no. I'm saying no because when I think of joining forces with you, I can't get King Nefertari out of my head."

"Cross, King Nefertari Cobra is alive and well, we've been offering his kingdom every measure of assistance we can—!" Koala started with no small amount of desperation.

"I'm glad to hear Cobra is doing well," I cut her off with a raised hand. "But I'm not talking about Vivi's father. I'm talking about her great great however many greats grand-father."

Dragon raised an eyebrow. "Explain."

"It's simple: Anywhere from nine to eight hundred years ago, King—or Queen Nefertari, I suppose, joined their forces with an alliance to overthrow what I can only assume was a world-spanning empire or kingdom or what have you, and when they succeeded that alliance rose to take the original empire's place. Fast forward to today, and we witness the first traces of history repeating itself."

That caused a reaction, Koala's face flushing with rage as she took a menacing step forwards. "Are you accusing us," she hissed darkly. "Of wanting to overthrow the World Government just so we can take its place?"

Dragon made to turn to face her, but I beat him to it with a dismissive scoff. "Don't be an idiot, Koala, that's not even close to what I'm saying and I'm not accusing anyone of spit. What I'm saying is that, regardless of what any of us desire, we're all still mortal. One day, we're gonna die, and provided we've actually managed to come out on top by the time we do, other people are gonna take our places in running the world. And who knows!" I said cheerfully. "Maybe they'll be as righteous and morally firm as us! And maybe the people after them, and the people after them!"

I slowly let my expression drop into a scowl. "But not forever. Never forever. Absolute power is the worst poison in the world, Koala, as you well know from fighting it every single day. It's not a matter of desire that could result in the Revolutionaries replacing the World Government in every way, but inevitability. It's a matter of the fallibility of humanity. After all, at the end of the day, 'revolution' means to go round in a circle."

Koala's rage broke in favor of confusion, many contradictory thoughts obviously running through her head.

"You raise a fair point, Jeremiah Cross."

And then she snapped her head around at her superior, shock clearly written on her face. "S-Sir, what are you—?!"

"Enough, Koala," Dragon silenced her with a raised hand, his expression shadowed. "I've long since accepted what Cross has outlined as being an all-too-real possibility, and I've long since put in place contingencies in case such an eventuality comes to pass. Cross has done nothing more than… state the facts."

While Koala slowly paled and clamped a shivering hand over her mouth, Dragon returned his suddenly far harder gaze to me. "But even in spite of this inevitability," he continued. "The fact remains that our goals and enemies are the same, and that neither you and yours nor even me and mine are powerful enough to face the monolith that crushes us all alone. If you have an arrangement you'd prefer, I'd very much like to hear it."

I took a moment to properly word my thoughts before responding. "I assume you're familiar with the saying 'trust, but verify'."

"Of course," Dragon responded.

"I propose something similar to it," I said, raising my hands with the index fingers held apart. "Hand in hand, but not conjoined. Together, but separate. An allegiance, but no single flag. You walk your path to the truth and we'll walk ours, and so long as you don't step on our toes we won't step on yours, and heck! We might even offer one another a gesture of good faith from time to time…"

I folded my hands behind my back as I looked Dragon in the eyes. "But our respective draws will remain separate, and if a merger comes then it will be many years in the future, once the shadows of the World Government aren't quite so dark. And…" I waved my hand casually with a resigned smile. "Think of it this way: if one of us is ever forced to fold, then at least the other will still be in a position to pick up their chips and keep playing."

As I finished, Koala had a somewhat thoughtful frown on her face, while Dragon simply stared at me. Eventually, however, a rueful grin crossed his face.

"I would prefer you deeper in the fold than that…" he sighed wistfully. "And I'm honestly surprised given your new bounty that you're not accepting it, but I suppose I'll just take what I can get."

I shrugged carelessly. "Hey, why the hell should I be concerned about that waste of ink and paper. After all…" I let a predatory grin slide across my face. "If they want me? They'll need to get through my crew first."

"I dunno," Koala drawled, swaying on her feet as she crossed her arms behind her head. "I gotcha pretty easily."

"You do not count," Soundbite snickered with a smirk. "YOU ARE WHAT we refer to as NEW WORLD BULLSHIT."

Koala raised her finger before dropping it and shutting her mouth with a hiss. "That… you know what? I don't have a good response to that. But still—"

"If," Dragon cut in, shooting a simultaneously dry and bemused look at his subordinate. "I may continue?"

The Martial-Arts mistress slapped her hands over her mouth with a squeak and a blush.

The Revolutionary continued to observe her for a moment before slowly redirecting his smile at me and extending his hand. "So… allies in Revolution, then."

I smiled broadly, and removed my right gauntlet before clasping his hand with both of mine. "Allies to the bitter end." I quirked a corner of my mouth up. "At least until you start dragging us down and we cut you loose like a rusty anchor."

Dragon barked out a laugh as he drew his hand back. "The same to you, then. I'll exchange contact numbers with Soundbite and contact you should I ever require your aid, and I expect you to do the same."

I nodded in agreement as I slipped my gauntlet back on. "You can damn well count on it. It was nice meeting you, Dragon. An… enlightening experience, if nothing else."

The Revolutionary smiled, then turned and began heading back into the command center. "Koala will prepare you for your return to Water 7. You'll be back with your crew before you know it."

The man was halfway to the building when he paused, and glanced at me over his shoulder. "Actually… one last thing. If you don't mind indulging an idealist's curiosity… who were you before you came here? By your demeanor and age I'm guessing a student, but as for your major… political science? Business? Philosophy, perhaps?"

I blinked at him in shock for a brief moment before grinning from ear to ear. "Smart man, if an inch or two off the mark. Student yes, politics no. Honestly, what more can I say—!" I spread my arms in gleeful surrender. "Than that I love a good story!"

Dragon blinked in surprise.

"SHISHISHISHISHI!"

Then he threw his head back and roared his laughter to the high heavens. "An artist of the written word!" he cackled jubilantly. "Honestly now, I don't know what I was expecting, I really don't! Heheheh…" Dragon chuckled as he waved over his shoulder as he kept walking away. "I wish you the best of luck, Jeremiah Cross. Now, Koala, if you could—"

"Ah, wait wait wait, one last thing!" I hastily interjected, looking back at Koala, and making my tone as gentle as possible. "One last thing, a personal matter… Hachi. If you're interested and my memory is correct, he should have his dream Takoyaki bar up and running on the surface, not far from the waters of Sabaody Archipelago and Fishman Island. Ask around for the Flying Fish Riders, they share those waters too, they should know where he is if no one else does."

Koala's gaze grew far off again, but that only lasted for a minute before a small smile came over her face. "Thank you, Cross, I'll remember that for once I have some more vacation time. Now, if there's nothing else, I'll get you ready for traveling back to Water 7."

I nodded in agreement. "Yeah, nothing else springs to mind. So, how—"

THWACK!

"THAT'S FOR GETTING ME AN ASSIGNMENT IN THE SOUTH-SUCKING-POLE YOU DAMN—!"

The last thing I heard before everything went black (besides the vigorous lambasting) was a chorus of snickering.

-o-

The next thing I knew after that little… event?

BWAAAAAAAAAH!

My eardrums screaming bloody murder at me while something else blared even bloodier murder at me.

"GAAAARGH!" I hollered, shooting up in my bed with my hands clamping over my ears. "FRACKING HELL, WHO THE HECK DO I LOOK LIKE, SPONGEBOB, DAMN IT!?"

"Personally, I'd just say you look like a plain old dope!"

A familiar voice cut through the haze of my rage and wakefulness, and after blinking a few times to clear my vision, I was met with an even more familiar face perched upon my transceiver on the bedside table beside me.

"Tseeheeheeheehee! I've been wanting to do that for the longest time," Su giggled as she impishly covered her muzzle with her paw.

"WE KNOW!" Soundbite bellowed in a medley of voices as he snapped his eyestalks out of his shell, before fully emerging in shock. "Wait, cottontail? We're back in—HUH?"

As my ears stopped ringing, I realized what Soundbite was saying, taking in the familiar sight of our temporary lodgings while we waited for the construction of the Thousand Sunny to finish… and begin, for that matter. Everyone was behaving perfectly normally, though some of them were making their way over to me.

"So, Cross, feeling any better about your bounty?" Chopper asked.

"Ahhh…" I hedged uncomfortably, trying to successfully get my mind on track. "Y-Yeah, I think I've gotten over it for now… just as long as—"

"And that's where it would be a good idea to shut up, if you're about to mention some 'hypothetical' worst-case scenario," Sanji cut in.

"Eheh… point taken," I said, rubbing the back of my head. "So, how much have I missed?"

To my surprise, everyone just shrugged casually. "Getting more used to our bounties, but besides that, just the usual. What did you expect, you were only gone for a couple of hours before we noticed you sleeping it off," Su quipped.

I could feel the blood draining from my face as Su's words sunk in. Hours… mere hours…

"Cross? Cross! What's wrong?! Should I call a doctor?!" Chopper panicked.

"Spirited away and spirited back in a matter of hours," I whispered numbly, collapsing back against my bed's headboard as I processed the implications. Upon reaching a conclusion, I directed my terrified gaze at Soundbite, whose own expression indicated he'd reached the exact same conclusion. "…Dragon is scary," I breathed, cold sweat coming down my head.

"Agreed," Soundbite whimpered.

"…Cross, did you just say what I think you just said?" Vivi asked, turning to look at me, her gaze pleading.

I managed a weak smile. "We're sort of officially allies now. Oh, and good news, your father is doing well."

"…What in Ammit's name kind of resources do the Revolutionaries have at their disposal?" the princess mumbled, sinking down beside Carue as her knees failed her.

I shuddered fearfully. "Follow my example: I dunno, and I don't wanna know."

Vivi, along with most everyone else in the room, nodded in acceptance, though none with nearly as much desperation as her.

I was about to allow myself to relax when Soundbite perked up. "Frantic FRANKY FAMILY foreman forthcoming," he announced.

"Nice alliteration," I noted.

"HEH, THANKS, I've been practi—!"

SLAM!

"STRAW HATS!"

Zambai's door slam cut Soundbite off, also serving to draw attention to him as he fell on all fours.

"Zambai?" Usopp blinked at the man in confusion. "What's wrong, is Franky alright?"

I kept my expression carefully neutral as I waited for Zambai to get his breath back…

"Ah…" Zambai hesitated slightly as he recovered and glanced to the side nervously. "Nah… nah he's fine, I just… just wanted to tell ya that he's started working on… your new ship and—!"

"Bull-shit~!" I sang tauntingly.

"GAH, ALRIGHT, YA DAMN KNOW-IT-ALL!" Zambai snapped his head up with a furious roar. "I'M HERE ON BEHALF OF THE FRANKY FAMILY TO ASK YOU TO TAKE OUR BOSS, OUR BIG BRO, 'CYBORG' FRANKY, ON YOUR CREW AS YOUR SHIPWRIGHT! HAPPY!?"

"Very," I smirked proudly as I folded my arms behind my head.

Meanwhile, the rest of our crew was a bit less, shall we say, dignified in their responses?

"HUH?!" chorused half of them incredulously.

"Not again…" was the general sentiment of the rest.

That half then proceeded to either look or glare at me.

"Oi!" I yelped, snapping my hands up indignantly. "Don't look at me like that, I have exactly spit to do with this, and I couldn't have stopped it even if I wanted to!"

Thankfully, that swapped out some of the heat on me in favor of confusion, and Nami even went so far as to snap her gaze back to Zambai. "What the heck are you talking about?"

Zambai took a second to finish getting his breath back before giving us all a look that was equal parts desperate and determined. "Listen, in case you didn't notice, the rest of us who were with you, my bros and sisters, and the Galley-La guys? None of us got bounties like you did. The World Government ignored us thanks to our names and voices not actually being broadcast on the SBS." He shook his head miserably as he withdrew a sheet of paper from his back pocket and held it up for us all to see. "But not all of us got out unmarked."

Everyone took one look at the poster before gaping in awe or wincing sympathetically.

"฿70 million?" Vivi hissed. "That's not good…"

"Oooh trust me, it could be worse," Nami muttered acridly.

"Way worse," Sanji sourly concurred.

"Worse than you can possibly imagine," I finished.

"I don't know, I can—"

"YOU ALREADY used that gag!"

"Heh, sorry, you should hear the crowd on open-mic night…" Zambai chuckled sheepishly, scratching his head sheepishly. "But seriously, I'm begging you, on behalf of the entire Franky Family, to take our big bro out to sea with you. It's the only chance he's got!"

There was a pause as everyone considered what he was saying.

"Why are you even making such a big deal out of this?" Zoro finally said, prompting everyone to stare incredulously at him.

"Zoro, what the actual—?" Vivi demanded.

"Have you guys already forgotten that Iceburg cut ties with the World Government? Why do you think he'd be safer with one of the most famous pirate crews in the world than on a massive island where Government employees are the criminals?"

"…I hate to admit it, but that's actually a good point," I admitted, frowning at Zambai. "I mean, we'd be glad to have him along, sure, but with the entire island in that much danger already, why are you still so desperate?"

"Are you—!" Zambai started before cutting himself off with a groan. "Right, one of you isn't local, the other's an idiot."

"Hey, Cross isn't that dumb," Zoro snorted. My response to that was to grab my hand before it could try and strangle him.

"Look," the dismantler continued with strained patience. "The thing you gotta know is that one of the first things the World Government does when a nation cuts ties and goes Revolutionary is to blockade them. Granted, the Sea Train will give us some leeway there, and the world should be pretty damn strained from Enies Lobby's fallout, but the fact is that once they get their shit together, it's gonna be a damn nightmare to get off and away from this island if you're a civilian. But wanted?" He shook his head desperately. "Forget it. Franky'll never leave Water 7 again, he'll never go out on another ship again, he'll never have a shot at seeing his dream, his real dream, come true with his own two eyes! Which means… which means…"

The former thug choked out a sob as he fell to his knees, eyes scrunched shut as his emotions finally overwhelmed him. "So, please!" he cried out miserably. "Please take Franky with you! On behalf of the entire Franky Family, I am begging you—!"

"Ehhh?" Luffy droned dully, his tone nasally on account of the pinkie digging for gold up his nose. "What are you, stupid or something? Franky's already our crewmate."

That little announcement left the rest of us stunned in its wake, myself included.

"Uh… what are you talking about?" Zambai asked, sounding confused. "I never heard or saw you talk to Franky about anything like that, when—!?"

"Eh, I didn't talk to him about anything," Luffy replied, pulling out his finger and examining. "I just decided that he'd be our shipwright, sooo he's our shipwright. He just doesn't know it yet."

There was an instant of silence before we all groaned collectively, our voices filled with both exasperation, and fondness.

"Uhhh…" Zambai drew out hesitantly. "I… don't think that's how it works?"

"Ohhh, yes it is," Zoro chuckled. "Once Luffy makes up his mind that you're part of the crew, you're part of the crew."

"He doesn't take 'no' for an answer," Nami picked up, smiling fondly at the memory.

"And he can be a real pain in the ass if you still try refusing," Sanji concluded with a mix of a grin and a grimace.

Funkfreed raised his trunk. "Aaaaam I missing something here?"

"Let me clarify, my good pachyderm," I volunteered. "Everyone who Luffy recruited before I started the SBS, Soundbite and myself included, joined due to a mixture of Luffy's persistence, strength, and charisma, with a healthy dose of blackmail here and there for good measure."

"B-B-Blackmail?" Conis squeaked in shock.

"He held my swords ransom," Zoro said blandly.

"He threatened to make me kill him," Nami spat acridly.

"He—!" Usopp started before hesitating and scratching his head sheepishly. "Actually, he didn't do anything to me, he just offered…"

"He nearly destroyed the Baratie," Sanji grimaced. "Both from within and without."

"HE KNOCKED US out of a two-story TREE!" Soundbite barked.

"He wouldn't stop chasing me all over the damn castle…" Chopper moaned.

"The first time I saw him, he knocked me senseless…" Vivi grumbled, rubbing her head.

"Awww, you guys're making me blush!" Luffy laughed, folding his hands behind his head with an ear-to-ear grin.

"WE'RE NOT COMPLIMENTING YOU, JACKASS!" we all roared indignantly.

"And yet!" I added with a teasing grin. "It's not as though we'd rather be anywhere else, eh?"

Suddenly, everyone was a lot less willing to speak, far too occupied with averting their gazes and coughing uncomfortably.

"…W-Well… in that case, thanks a lot, Straw Hat. We owe you one," Zambai said with a sincere grin. Though the fact that he wasn't on his hands and knees spoke volumes about how bemused he was by what he had just heard.

"And we'll collect," Soundbite remarked.

Zambai nodded in concession. "Yeah, yeah… alright, anything in particular we can do right now, then?"

I was about to dismiss him, before grinning as a thought struck me.

"Oh, no," Usopp groaned. "That smile never means anything good."

"I'm sorry I asked…" Zambai moaned, slapping a hand to his face.

"No, it does not, and yes, you should be," I chuckled malevolently. "For you see… there's a little something you oughta know about 'Cyborg' Franky: His grip on this island is iron-hard, so if we're gonna get him off this rock, we're gonna need subtlety, finesse, an intricate plan…" My grin went from ear to ear as I clasped my hands. "And his speedo."

Nothing short of thunderstruck silence.

"…Pwease teww me I heawd dat wong…" Carue pleaded.

I maintained my grin as I slammed my hands on the room's table. "Gather round, boys and girls, because we're planning us a man-panty raid!"

"HELL YES!" Raphey shot her fists up ecstatically. She then looked around in confusion as everyone stared at her. "What? I'm just happy that for once, the wardrobe malfunction is on the other side of the chromosomes. Am I really alone in this?"

After a few moments, all males in the room shuddered as a wave of what could only be described as pure vindication swept over us.

As soon as it passed, I was back to grinning, if somewhat more shakily than before. "So!" I yelped only semi-desperately. "Who wants in on planning out Operation 'Running of the Pervert'?"

My smile became more honest at the affirmatives I got, before said smile snapped off my face faster than a gunshot as I noticed something missing from the chorus. "…Guys? Has anyone seen where Merry went?"

Thankfully for my nerves, Usopp was quick to wave his hand. "Oh, Merry practiced a lot and decided that she was strong enough to go out for a walk. She left about an hour ago."

I myself was content to heave a sigh of relief, but my partner in anarchy, on the other hand…

"IS THAT REALLY the best of ideas?" Soundbite asked uncertainly. "I mean, we went out for a walk too, AND LONG-STORY SHORT, WE WOUND UP IN admittedly not-so-DEEP but still deeply disturbing CACA!"

"Yeeeaaah," Mikey drawled as he made a show of inspecting his flipper. "But consider this: whereas you can barely handle lifting over a hundred pounds, Merry, even hurt and injured, can easily lift you."

Soundbite and I took a moment to consider that before nodding in agreement. "Alright, withdrawn," I conceded.

"But, ah," Funkfreed raised his trunk swiftly. "If it helps, I heard her say something on her way out."

The elephant-sword then shifted to rubbing his chin. "Not sure how much help it'll be, though… I mean, how could an East Blue caravel have family in the dead center of Paradise?"

-o-

"Yes," Iceburg nodded confidently. "Truly a splendid sun."

"IT'S NOT A SUN, YOU BLIND MORON!" Franky roared indignantly, his hackles raised to the maximum.

"Okay, okay, geez!" Iceburg said, raising his hands in surrender. "It's not a sun! Got it!"

Grumbling heatedly, the crime-boss of Water 7 went back to his work. For all that Galley-La purported itself to be filled with Water 7's best and brightest, they could be stupidly thick. First a sunflower, now a sun!? Honestly, how could anyone mistake the proud figurehead of the Straw Hat Pirates' next ship for anything but—!

"What are you all, blind or something? It's obvious that he's a lion!"

"EXACTLY!" Franky laughed gratefully. "Thanks, Merry, I can't believe that—wait, what?" the cyborg cut himself off as he and the other shipwrights spun around to behold the living proof of the Straw Hats' impossible capabilities.

And indeed, there stood said proof herself, looking notably healthier than the last time they had seen her, particularly the fact that she was supporting herself on only a single crutch.

But for all that Franky and the Galley-La workers were staring at her, Going Merry wasn't even looking at a single one of them and was instead staring past them.

"What are you thanking me for?" she asked softly, hobbling through the men and approaching the large yellow figurehead of her successor. "I meant what I said: it's obvious what he is. I mean…" She cocked her head to the side slightly. "I suppose I can get some of the confusion; even now, so young, he's… well, he's radiant, but I honestly don't see how he could be mistaken for anything but what he is."

Iceburg blinked repeatedly as he attempted to parse the new arrival's words. "Merry? What are you doing here?"

The self-labeled ship-girl (girl-ship just didn't hit the ear even remotely right) jerked slightly at the interruption, grinning sheepishly (the irony was not lost on her) at the Galley-La owner. "Right, forgot about you guys… sorry for barging in here like this, I just wanted to see my big bro when I heard he was strong enough, you know?"

Iceburg and Franky exchanged looks before the metal-man raised his hand. "Ah… Merry? I dunno if you forgot or something, but I've been alright for awhile now."

"Heh, not you-big-bro," Merry said, hiding a giggle behind her fist before pointing her finger behind herself. "I mean him-big-bro!"

The shipwrights all followed her finger, and then, one and all, they stiffened in realization as they followed her finger to the lion figurehead.

"Wait, here to see your bi—!" Paulie said incredulously. "Y-You mean… you're talking about… Merry, can you actually talk to—! To—?"

"Uh… of course?" Merry tilted her head in honest confusion. "Why wouldn't I be able to? I mean… I might be human now, but I am still a ship, remember? Of course I can talk to my own kind."

For a few moments, the shipwrights just stood speechless. Franky was the first one to get past his surprise. At least, for the first matter. "But… wait, even if you can talk to ships, how… how can you talk to this one!? I mean…" He gestured at the figurehead and the scrap surrounding them all. "It's not built yet! Heck, it doesn't even have a name!"

Merry jerked her head back with an even more confused look. "Uhh… what are you talking about? This is just his body, not him. Our keels are our spines, our crews are our hearts, but our souls? Our minds, us? We're born when we're conceived in the minds of our makers. Sure, we're wispy and ethereal while we're still in there, but the more solid the idea is, preferably as it's drawn onto blueprints, we become more and more concrete!" Her expression slowly morphed into one of extreme fondness. "This big guy's been waiting to stretch his paws for three long years…"

Franky seemed awestruck at Merry's words, though oddly, with about as much composure as Iceburg had.

"HEY!" Tilestone suddenly roared. "SORRY FOR INTERRUPTING, BUT HOW COME YOU KEEP CALLING IT A 'HE'? I KNOW THAT SHIPS CAN BE BOTH BOYS AND GIRLS, BUT ISN'T IT A BIT EARLY TO TELL?"

"Hm… well, while we're asking questions…" Lulu mused as he idly patted his unruly horn of hair down, only causing it to grow on ("AH C'MON, LU!") Paulie's cigar. "May I ask why you're referring to this essentially newborn ship as your 'big' brother? You're older by a fair amount, even if we were to count the day you ate the fruit as your birth."

"Ah…" Merry swapped her gaze between the two before pointing at Lulu. "Well, starting with you, it should be pretty obvious even to you, no?" She waved her hand at the ship's figurehead. "I mean… look at him! Ah…" She flinched with a sheepish smile. "His… actual body, I mean. I just… his figurehead alone…" Merry slowly shuffled around so that she was facing the start of her brother in full, eyes full of awe. "He's… He's going to be big. Bigger than me. Bigger than anything out of the East Blue, bigger than Old Mans Dicky and Jackson. Why the hell wouldn't I call him my big bro? He's gonna be the biggest in the whole wide ocean!"

And then, Merry's entire being seemed to light up with energy as she stared ahead in excitement. "And Tilestone… there's no mistaking him for anything but a he. H-He's just so… So big, so proud and confident and…!" Merry raised a hand to rest it on the figurehead's mane…

ROOOOAAAAAR!

All the shipwrights jumped in shock when a gust of wind suddenly blew through Scrap Island, causing the stray bits and ends of junk in the scrapyard to shift and let loose a noise that sounded… not unlike a roar.

In stark contrast to the grown men around her, Merry's only reaction was to let out a laugh, a joy-filled laugh that was accompanied with tears of pure elation shimmering in her eyes.

"And he's so eager!" Merry breathed in wonder. "I mean, just listen to him! He doesn't want to be kept here, in pieces and immobile, he wants to be out there!" She swept her arm out at the sea. "Out challenging the waves to fight, out fighting the currents for domination every second of his existence, out running so fast that not even the winds can outpace him! He's… He's…"

Merry spun around to stare at Franky, nothing short of pure adoration in her eyes. "He's going to be a King," she whispered. "Franky, you've made a King. When you let him loose on the oceans, he's going to go out there and do what he was made to do, born to do, and that's rule. He's going to rule each and every last inch of the oceans because he knows he can do it."

She slowly turned her gaze upward, a dreamy smile on her face as she swayed back and forth on her heels. "It's only right that he join our crew the second he's born, no? After all, who else could possibly be worthier of bearing the King of the Pirates to his throne than the rightful King of the Seas himself?"

The two greatest shipwrights in the world and their three best understudies merely stared up at the lion's figurehead, starting to grasp the magnitude of what they were about to do. This was now more than giving their saviors the only reward good enough for them. The ship they were about to build would be the most momentous creation of the island since Pluton, since the Oro Jackson itself.

This ship would be their… no, this ship would be the legacy of the entire island of Water 7.

And that meant…

"…say, Merry," Franky mused, cradling his chin thoughtfully. "How long do you think you can stay here?" He slowly let a devious grin slide onto his face. "I'd like to bounce one or twenty ideas off of you and your big bro, so that I can make his body just that much more SUPER. Whaddaya say, Little Sis Merry?"

Merry matched his smile tooth for tooth. "I say bring it right the hell on, Big Bro Franky,"

Judging by the way Scrap Island roared anew, the nascent ship of the Straw Hat Pirates was in complete agreement.

-o-

The next two days were essentially business as usual for the Straw Hat Pirates, which included our typical antics (ten explosions from Chopper's experiments, three prank wars, each instigated by but not participated in by Robin, and at least one collapsed building a day whenever Boss got serious about training his boys, thankfully only from the abandoned collection in the lower island), assorted instances of either gloating or sulking over respective bounties (both, in my and Soundbite's cases), and scattered bits and pieces of training and brainstorming here and there.

In my spare time, I also managed to catch a few hints of the local filler episodes, which included Sanji bringing back a few hefty bags of salt to our HQ (much to Soundbite's ear-shattering terror), a few choice blackmail photos of Zoro hauling a trio of anklebiters around, and the Union holding what appeared to be a candlelit vigil for those of their number that hadn't managed to survive the Aqua Laguna.

But amidst all of it, the good times and the bad, whether causing mayhem or the victim of it or even simply relaxing, one universal emotion among the crew was hype for what the new ship would be like. Hell, even I was excited about it; after all, apart from the massive difference between the story and the reality and me being eager to meet, well… whoever our ship would be, Merry herself had assured me that she'd been personally helping Franky revamp his original blueprints. As a result, not even I knew what was coming, and for once, rather than dreading the unknown, I positively relished it.

Still, amidst the familiar, there were also a couple of noteworthy, significantly out-of-the-ordinary occurrences as well. For example, the upgrading of Funkfreed. The blade-Zoan had begged off incorporating a Thunder Dial or poison into his body, deeming both ideas far too uncomfortable, but we soon managed to come to an accord. Namely, an offhand comment from Nami about how she was using her Clima-Tact led to us commandeering a Water Dial from Conis' massive arsenal and one of the spare Jet Dials to come up with a brilliant (if I do say so myself) innovation for the zombies of Thriller Bark once we reached them.

Another pleasing development was when we got a call from Dorry and Broggy, upon which we confirmed that the Marines that had arrived for them were indeed trustworthy. Since Hina herself had accompanied them to confirm, I took the chance to ask her to let the giants in on the full secret, so that even after she rejoined her main fleet at the Capes, they'd at least have a toe in the water in preparation for our little 'business meeting'.

But still, for all that the relative monotony was nice, it was eventually broken wide open by our next big occurrence… well, occuring on the evening of the fifth day since the destruction of Enies Lobby. And it all started… with a royal flush in a game of poker I was involved in.

-o-

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SCREWING ME!"

Or rather, that Soundbite was involved in while I handled all his cards for him. What, you really thought that I would be caught dead playing poker when I was already up to my non-existent halo in debt with Nami? I'm seven flavors of crazy, but I sure as hell ain't… that stupid.

Soundbite, however, absolutely was that stupid and was attempting to throw down with Robin, Boss, Chopper and Zoro. Or, in other words, the four absolute worst people for anyone to go up against in a poker game, as evidenced by Chopper laying down a nice line of royalty on the table before us.

"I think I won this one," the reindeer said with a joyful grin. "A royal flush! That's the best hand, right?"

"Almost, Chopper," Boss chuckled eagerly. "A royal flush is better than any other hand, but the diamonds are the weakest suit. Meaning…" Boss lowered his flippers, revealing another series running from the 10 to the Ace. "That a royal flush in clubs makes me the winner."

"BULL-SHIT!"

"Now, now, Boss," Robin purred. "The clubs are only one rank higher. A royal flush in hearts would be stronger still, and a royal flush in spades…" She spread her hand out, displaying her cards for all to see. "Is the absolute best you can get. So, as they say in East Blue City, read them and weep."

"Ooooh…" I winced sympathetically.

"FOR THE LOVE of escar-FUCKING-GO!"

"Same to you, Robin," Zoro chuckled, revealing his own hand—which was another freaking royal flush—IN SPADES?!

"OKAY, that's where I CALL ACTUAL BULLSHIT!" Soundbite fumed. "YOU ASSHATS ARE ALL CHEATING!"

All four of them gave Soundbite looks like he'd just sprouted legs and started dancing the can-can. "Uh, duh?" Boss questioned incredulously. "What, you never played poker before or something?"

Soundbite and I slowly exchanged looks before the gastropod narrowed his eyes at the marine mammal. "Explain."

"It's quite simple, really," Robin smiled innocently as a quartet of arms sprouted from her shoulders and started flipping cards amongst themselves. "As pirates are all merciless, utterly lawless criminals, it's become a tradition in the game of poker and most other card games that the participants all cheat to the best of their ability, with punishment only ever occurring should someone be able to catch them in the act. I believe that my own experience in the fine arts of swindling should be self-evident."

"I made a decent amount of money in my bounty hunting days this way," Zoro said. "And it helps train dexterity."

"A few pirates of that sort clashed with the Dugong tribe once or twice, we learned how to play and… well, you know how we are about competing," Boss shrugged.

"I just followed their examples. Did you really not notice?" Chopper asked, and I couldn't be sure if the innocence in his tone was genuine or not.

Soundbite's eyestalks twitched murderously, and I reached for my headphones in case he decided to get loud—

"Puru puru puru puru! OF ALL THE freaking times!"

And lowered them as he began ringing, looking at the others at the table. "Hang on a sec, guys. If this is what I think it is, we'll need to cut the game short."

"Tsk," Boss snorted as he started re-shuffling the deck. "And just when I was actually starting to turn a profit on you suckers."

"Yeah, yeah, bloodsucker," I waved the martial-artist off as I dug through my bag. A glance at my transceiver's display confirmed that the call was from who I expected it to be from, thus prompting me to start thinking. "Alright, let's see… ah, I've got one." I snapped my fingers with a malicious grin before picking up. "Rain Dinners casino, Mr. Deep-6 speaking. How may I help you?"

"…I think I preferred the ones that weren't real," Tashigi sighed. "Never mind that. Cross, our assignment is over, and we've contacted everyone else. The meeting starts in fifteen minutes. Are you ready for this?"

I blinked, and took a minute to remember the locations of my other confidants before nodding. "Yeah, that should be enough time to gather everyone and relocate to somewhere more… appropriate." I smiled casually. "Anyone I should be aware of on your end besides Tsuru?"

"No, she's the only—" Tashigi cut herself off with an abrupt scowl. "…damn it, how do you do that?!"

"Hey, it's not like it was hard to figure out…" I glanced to the side with a smirk. "Or that you're hard to trick…"

"Kindly bend over and kiss my—KA-LICK!"

"Eesh, even I'm actually starting to feel sorry for her at this point," Zoro muttered as he got to his feet.

"I ain't!" Soundbite and I chorused, but I was swift to sober up. "But there's more to this one than just prodding the Marines. Soundbite, get the Union to pick up Merry, Vivi and Nami and bring them to meet us at the one location appropriate for an occasion this momentous."

"Oh?" Robin regarded me curiously even as she and Chopper accepted new hands from Boss. "And where would that be?"

I slowly allowed a grin to crawl across my face as I pressed my fingers together.

-o-

"…The lip of the fountain. Really, Cross? Really?" Nami deadpanned.

"Oh, come on, Nami, look around!" I laughed, spreading my arms out to indicate the city below us and the reddening horizon in the distance, all plainly visible from the edge of the city's fountain. "We're about to take our efforts to change the world to a whole new level! Can you honestly tell me that this isn't the best view for the occasion?"

"And even if it wasn't, just look at it!" Merry said with a radiant grin as she made a show of balancing right on the lip of the drop with her arms spread wide. "If there's one thing I love about being human, it's being able to look at things from this high up for longer than a minute while plummeting to the ocean!"

Nami pursed her lips as she stared out at the horizon, and was shaken from her thoughts when Vivi laid her hand on her shoulder. "Ass though he might be, even I have to admit he has a point: this is awesome beyond words."

At that, our negotiator heaved a defeated sigh. "Weeeeell…"

Soundbite and Merry giggled at her apparent defeat, while Zoro merely continued meditating in silence. Then the latter of the immature brats turned her view back to me. "By the way, when do we get codenames?" she asked. Her smile then took on an impish overtone as everyone looked back at her in confusion. "Well, I dunno about you all, but we can't all be 'Ophiuchus' confidant,' and Soundbite is already folded into that—"

"THE hell I AM!" the snail snapped. "I came up with my own CODENAME two days ago. YOU CAN CALL ME KNUCKER."

I frowned at the snail. "You… no, of course you took a swear word and changed the first letter, what else was I expecting," I deadpanned.

"EX-CUSE ME! A KNUCKER is a serpentine DRAGON," Soundbite huffed indignantly… before grinning impishly. "Buuut, that may have been PART OF IT. As for the rest, well… HOW FOND ARE YOU of the works of one Quentin Tarantino?"

It took merely a second for me to get what he was implying before scowling. "Oh, hell no, I know where this is going and we are not basing ourselves off—! Of…" I trailed off as I looked around at my assembled crewmates. "…okay, on second thought, I see what you're getting at here, never mind"

"GLAD TO HEAR IT! Now listen up, people, BECAUSE UNLESS YOU HAVE ANY OBJECTIONS, these are your new codenames!"

Thirty seconds of listing later, Merry was beaming, Zoro was indifferent, Nami was content, and Vivi was uncertain.

"Ah, I have a couple of issues with mine—"

"Puru puru puru puru! OVERRULED!" Soundbite cheered.

Vivi sighed, and shook her head. "I guess I can get used to it…" she muttered despondently.

I smirked, but I allowed myself to fall into seriousness as I picked up the snail. Just this once, for this, I could legitimately nut up and shut up, if only to lull Tashigi into a false sense of security.

"Ophiuchus," I stated clearly.

"Pisces and co." Tashigi immediately responded. "Considering how many of us are present at the moment, I felt like it'd be just quicker for me to vouch for everyone."

"That's fine," I nodded.

"Hm…" a particularly wizened voice hummed thoughtfully. "Is that so? So easily? Quite the casual operation you're running here, Mister Cross."

I quirked up a grin. "Well, what can I say, Vice Admiral Tsuru?" I queried innocently, causing Vivi's spine to shoot ramrod straight even as the blood vacated her face. "We've been making do with what we had available, and a particularly wise and seasoned individual like you wasn't involved until now. And besides, in case you haven't noticed? We're the Straw Hat Pirates, we do everything casually."

"Hmph," Tsuru sniffed. "I can't argue with that, I suppose. So, Mister Cross. I was informed about some form of deal or other concerning the nature of your intelligence and my participation in this endeavor. Care to elaborate?"

"Hmm…" I scratched my chin thoughtfully before waving my hand. "Soon enough, soon enough. First things first: our newest two members in what I'd like to formally dub the 'Zodiac of the Damned'. I've already screened them, and I know that we can trust them in our endeavor. But just to confirm, does anybody object to the addition of the 'Blue' and 'Red Ogres' Dorry and Broggy and 'Roar of the Seas' Scratchman Apoo to our ranks?"

Following a brief pause for thought, I received a broad chorus of general agreement and confirmation.

"Right then, let's do this." I rolled my fingers at Soundbite, and a moment later there was an unforgettably tell-tale click. "Apoo, Dorry, Broggy, you there?"

"But of course!" "Without a doubt!"

"I wouldn't miss this for the world!"

"Alright, then…" I said, rubbing my hands together in anticipation. "This is it, you guys. You've already gotten a general overview of our goals, but once we give you our names, you're in it to win it with no way out. Are you ready for that kind of commitment? Ready to butt heads with the world itself?"

"But of course!" Broggy cackled. "For I can truly think of no better way to celebrate the end of our century-long hiatus!"

"And besides," Dorry grinned malevolently. "We've been cracking World Government and Marine skulls since before you were small, white and gooey. Taking it to the next level? That just makes things all the more fun."

"Apapa! My thoughts exactly!" Apoo concurred with a massive grin. "Heck, the only reason my tribe hasn't come together and started giving them hell already is that whenever we try, we always wind up robbing each other blind!"

"Seriously?" Nami hissed out of the corner of her mouth at Vivi.

"I'm only just keeping from checking my pockets listening to a Long-Arm's voice!" Vivi shot back.

"Right, then. Dorry, Broggy, you'll be sharing the codename of 'Ox.' No better for the living epitome of strength."

"HUZZAH!" the pair bellowed joyously.

"And Apoo, I believe that Monkey should suit you just fine."

That caused Apoo's grin to slip into an uneasy frown. "Apa… wait, hang on… 'Monkey'? But wait, what about—?"

"What about Luffy, huh!?" Bartolomeo barked indignantly. "Ain't he gonna be a part of this or somethin'?!"

"Rooster—!" Hina started.

"No, he's not, Rooster," I interrupted. "Because not only is that not who Luffy is, it's not his job. Luffy is our captain, which means that he leads us down the Grand Line, that he'll lead us to Raftel and that he'll earn his crown as Pirate King. I, however, am my crew's tactician. That means that I plan things out for the long run, that I look at the big picture. I started all of this and got involved in this because when Luffy earns his crown, he's going to rule the seas, all but rule the world… and when that happens, I'm going to damn well make sure that the world is ready. That it's one he'll be happy… no, no, one he'll be proud to travel and explore." I shook my head. "And that's not his duty. That is and always will be mine. Got me?"

Silence fell as everyone took that in and while I couldn't be certain what they were all thinking, I saw clear approval in my confidants' expressions, with Merry being particularly exuberant. Then the silence broke in a very predictable way:

"ALL HAIL DA STWAWHAT PIWATES!"

"Oh, perfect, now you've got him started…" Foxy sighed.

"Oh, don't worry, I believe I can snap him out of it. Rooster, I understand that you're happy, but we need to move on. So, either you get your shit together, or I pull out my, shall we say, Buster-grade option?"

"SHUT THE HELL UP, ROOSTER!"

"WONDAF—grk! R-Right, then, what's next?" Bartolomeo asked.

"Apa… that'd be me accepting my codename," the newly christened Monkey replied.

"Glad to hear it," I nodded as I started to pace. "Now, with that all out of the way, I suggest we welcome our newest allies with a round of introductions, just to make sure that we don't attack each other by accident on the high seas. Agreed?" Another round of agreements. "Perfect. We'll start off with the presiding officers who actually brought both factions of our little group together, IE me and mine. You already know me, 'Voice of Anarchy' Jeremiah Cross, third mate of the Straw Hat Pirates, codename Ophiuchus."

"'Voice of Anarchy' SOUNDBITE, co-communications officer OF THE STRAW HAT PIRATES. Call me KNUCKER, and if anyone cracks wise, I'll purée their eardrums."

Merry snickered at the threat before smiling from ear-to-ear. "Hiya! I'm new to this shindig, but I'm in it for the long haul! I'm 'White Menace' Going Merry, but on the job you can call me Cottonmouth!"

"'Corsair Princess' Nefertari Vivi, negotiator of the Straw Hat Pirates, codename…" Vivi briefly gnawed on her lip before heaving a defeated sigh. "…Copperhead."

Zoro grunted and shifted slightly on his feet. "'Pirate Hunter' Roronoa Zoro, first mate of the Straw Hat Pirates. Sidewinder."

Nami took a moment to respond, but once I rolled my fingers at her she shook her head in defeat. "'Weather Witch' Nami, second mate of the Straw Hat Pirates, codename Callie—"

"SHORT FOR CALIFORNIA MOUNTAIN SNAKE!" Soundbite explained, sticking his tongue out. "Obscure reference, don't ask."

Nami heaved a weary sigh. "—and believe me when I say that you really don't want to ask."

"Alright, that's us," I continued. "Now, as for everyone else, I hope you don't mind, but I've taken the liberty of adapting names for our two factions. Let's start with our allies in the Navy, who shall be henceforth be referred to as, unless there are any objections, the Zodiac of the Divine. Let's go with order of joining, please."

There was a brief moment of hushed discussion before a smoke-filled sigh came over the line. "It'd be nice if you actually told us before you decided this shit for us, Cross…" the gaseous Logia huffed. "Commodore 'White Hunter' Smoker, codename Cancer."

"Lieutenant Junior Grade Tashigi, codename Pisces. Welcome to the fight."

"Captain 'Black Cage' Hina has the codename Capricorn. Hina also agrees with Smoker, but also admits that matters could be worse."

"Captain 'Ship Cutter' T-Bone, codename Scorpio. Pardon me if I do not have much to contribute this evening, I'm still recovering from… what I am starting to realize was a somewhat ill-conceived endeavor."

"Hey, look at it this way, it could have been way worse!" I 'reassured' the gaunt Marine. "You could have gone up against Zoro!" The three-swordsman in question grinned as he clicked an inch of Wado Ichimonji's blade out of its sheath.

"…suddenly, I feel much better."

"Trust me, the feeling of fatigue rivaling a hangover is a standard part of surviving a fight with the Straw Hat Pirates. My entire base and I know all too well. Ah, yes, I almost forgot, I'm Vice Admiral 'Chessmaster' Jonathan, codename Sagittarius. Nice to meet you all."

"And that makes me the last, then? Very well. Vice Admiral 'Great Staff Officer' Tsuru, codename Aquarius."

"Nice to have you as a part of this, Vice Admiral," I nodded politely. "That makes six seats out of eleven filled, but with any luck we'll be able to fix that—"

"Wait, what do you mean eleven, Cross?" Tashigi cut in. "There are twelve signs in each Zodiac, and even then—!"

"You're telling me that any relatively sane and informed person we recruit in the future will be willing to go by either 'Virgo' or 'Dragon,' given the others we know with those names?" I interrupted right back.

"…withdrawn."

"Good. And if Sagittarius and Aquarius haven't been informed yet, I'll trust you to fix that as soon as this call is over. Now, for our pirate allies known as the Zodiac of the Damned. This time, newcomers first."

"Eh, we've already said it before, but hell, might as well go again. 'Red Ogre' Broggy—"

"And 'Blue Ogre' Dorry—"

"Co-captains of the Giant Warrior Pirates, codename Ox! GEGYAGYAGYAGYAGYA!"

"Co-captains of the Giant Warrior Pirates, codename Ox! GABABABABABA!"

"Apapapa! This here is 'Roar of the Sea' Scratchman Apoo, Captain of the On Air Pirates, codename Monkey! Grand Line represent, Apapa!"

"And East Blue represents right back with 'Black Bart' Bartolomeo, Captain of the Barto Club and codename Rooster! Let's hurry the hell up, I heard something about the truth of Cross's intel, and I damn well wanna know!"

"That sentiment is reflected with me, the infamous Foxy 'the Silver Fox', Captain of the Foxy Pirates and incognito Commander of the Straw Hat Pirates Recruitment Division, codename Goat! I wanna know how this smarmy bastard managed to utterly dismantle my winning streak, and I want to know now!"

"Trust me, that little combo breaker did not hinge on my presence," I coughed into my fist.

"Perhaps not," came the (thankfully masked) voice of Boa Marigold. "But I am equally interested in learning how you've acquired the impossible knowledge you've shown."

There was a brief silence before Soundbite scowled in a manner that left no doubt as to the cigar-chewing identity of the speaker. "And you would be?"

"…Call me Cobra," Marigold finally responded. "I would take the name of Snake, but I believe that that's best suited for my… superior, should they choose to join after I give them my opinion of this organization. I apologize for not giving a name, but anonymity is key in this instance. For now, however, I believe that Ophiuchus and Rooster can both support my presence, if only as an observer and commentator."

"I can," I nodded.

"Yeah, she's on the up-and-up," Bartolomeo concurred, although going by the way Soundbite's expression had contorted, I'd say that he was currently occupied with digging for gold.

There were a few more muttered complaints echoing about here and there, but Jonathan's voice easily cut through them. "I suppose that two endorsements will have to be enough, then. But for now, if we're ready to begin…" Jonathan's expression fell flat. "I believe that our first order of business should be plainly obvious. What do you say, Cross? Are you finally willing to share your secrets?"

"Yes, you've waited long enough, and as Tsuru is here, it's obvious that you've kept your end of the deal," I said tiredly. "But I'm warning you: even with the impossibility of what I know, I will not be surprised if you still don't believe me. Just a fair warning."

"I doubt that, Cross," deadpanned several of the listeners.

I shrugged while my confidants hid smirks. "Very well. Let me give you all the details I can, with as much explanation I can provide. First of all, have any of you ever heard of the multiverse theory?"

-o-

"…You son of a bitch, you weren't just spouting nonsense on Skypiea," Tashigi groaned.

"It's not that surprising, in hindsight," Jonathan mused, albeit with a slight twitch in his grin. "Sometimes the honest truth is just too… unbelievable to handle as the truth."

"Apapa… maybe so, but still…" Apoo ground his teeth uncomfortably. "Look, I'm just playing devil's advocate for the sake of advocacy, but the things you're talking about… an omnipotent something or other, alternate worlds? Somebody's gotta voice what we're all thinking here, if only so that it don't rot, alright?"

"Eh…" Foxy hedged with a few shifty glances. "If it helps, I've… come into contact with the same whatchamacallit that he's talking about, this… this 'B.R.O.B.' thing, during my initial encounter with the crew. It was brief and I'd…" He shivered fearfully. "I'd really rather not talk about it, but still, it-it was more than enough to convince me of the veracity of his words just now."

"Hrm…" Tsuru hummed before nodding to herself. "Jeremiah Cross, how many levels are there in Impel Down?"

I hesitated slightly at the question before bowing my head with a grimace. "…Six," I admitted before shooting a dark glare at Soundbite. "But if anyone else were to ask me, I would say five every single time, because as much as I criticize the government, I'll agree that there are some people you need to just lock up and melt the key. So let me be clear: nobody is to ever, ever breathe a word of the Eternal Hell outside of this group."

"…Well said, Jeremiah Cross," the old Vice Admiral said, approval and nerves equally prominent in her voice. "As it stands, any doubt I personally held has been dispelled, though I do dread the events that could have led to such a story including Level Six. For now, should anyone still harbor any doubts, I would suggest that you contemplate the audacity fallacy."

There was a moment of silence before Soundbite sighed through newly acquired shark teeth. "Mind explaining?" Bartolomeo grumbled.

"Ahh… ah, yes, I've actually heard of this before!" Tashigi offered. "Basically, it's the question of why anyone would make an incredibly outrageous lie like that if they were lying? We'd be more likely to believe something less audacious; ergo, it must be true."

"… Uh…"

"Yes, I know that there are problems with that line of reasoning," Tashigi assured him. "After all, that's why it's a fallacy. Though… in this case, you do have to admit that it makes sense, right?"

"Yeah… yeah, I guess it does," Apoo nodded. "Alright, what the hell. I'm satisfied. It's totally nutty…" The long-arm grinned widely. "But in the end, above all else? I trust Cross. So if believing this is crazy… APAPAPA! What the hell am I saying!? I'm a Grand Line Native, I'm already crazy!"

"Hear hear!" Dorry and Broggy chorused as one.

There were a few more vocal signs of agreements, a bunch of nods, and then a brief period of hushed exchanges. Then Jonathan spoke up.

"So, then, I believe we've just managed to handle our prerequisite business in a timely manner, so let's move onto our business proper. Who'd like to begin?"

"Ah… actually?" I grinned sheepishly as I raised my hand, wincing at the chorus of groans that sounded as a result.

"What should we have expected…" T-Bone groaned wearily.

"Unsurprised, Hina is absolutely not surprised at all…" the cage-woman huffed.

"Apa… Cross really loves to hear his own voice, doesn't he?"

"Tell me about it, he reminds me of Ito more often than not…"

"Oh, cram it up your bilges, it's not like what Cross talks about isn't important!" Merry protested on my behalf… before donning a cheeky grin. "Most of the time, at least…"

"Half the time…" Vivi conceded as she twirled a lock of her hair around her finger.

"Once in awhile…" Zoro grumbled, digging a finger in his ear.

"Like, one percent of what he says?" Nami mused, using her clouds to buff her nails.

"So much respect, I really feel the love…" I grumbled, rolling my eyes. "I am serious, though. Before we go any further? There are some facts about us that need to change."

"Like what, Cross?" Smoker grunted.

I wiped my expression clean as I popped up a finger. "We need to rethink what we call ourselves." I raised a second finger. "And with that rebranding, we need to restructure our goals for the future."

"Ohoh?" Tsuru raised an eyebrow thoughtfully. "Well, you've certainly managed to snag my interest. Care to share what you have in mind, Mister Cross?"

"Well, it's like this, see," I said, tenting my fingers together. "Our current name, MI, Marine Integrity, it was fine at first, when it was just Marines fighting to remove and replace a rotten system. But now… well, now we've grown beyond that. Ox, Goat, Monkey, Rooster, even my own crew and Cobra's. It's not just Marine interests being represented here, but pirates too!"

"And what of it?" T-Bone rasped dryly. "What 'interests' of pirates should we consider, hm?"

Vivi winced uncomfortably as she raised her hands to her ears. "Ooooh, this is going to be loud…"

And indeed, the following roar from our… less law-abiding compatriots would have shamed a banshee. And the loudest of all was Bartolomeo, who was leading the charge in the protests.

"WATCH YOUR FUCKIN' MOUTH YOU TOO-FRESH CORPSE! WE'RE AS MUCH A PART OF THIS FUCKING THING AS YOU BITCHES, MEANING THAT WE HAVE JUST AS MUCH FUCKING SAY IN WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS!"

"HOLD YOUR TONGUE, YOU INSOLENT CUR!" T-Bone bellowed back, giving just as fiercely as he was getting. "FOR YEARS THOSE WHO FLY THE BLACK FLAG HAVE LOOTED AND PILLAGED THE WORLD, SLAUGHTERING AND ENDANGERING THE INNOCENT WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A HINT OF EITHER RHYME OR REASON! THEY ARE A SCOURGE UPON THE WORLD BY THEIR VERY EXISTENCE, AND THEY DESERVE—!"

Right, that's where I draw the line.

"Cover your ears," I growled under my breath as I shot my hand into my bag. I gave my friends just enough time to defend their eardrums, and then…

BWAAAAAAAAAH!

"BOTH OF YOU, SHUT THE HELL UP!" I roared in the silence that followed my multi-decibel blast. I huffed a bit to get my breath back before forging on. "T-Bone, think about what the hell you're saying, damn it! 'Scourge by their very existence'? And 'deserve'!? That's the exact kind of shit that Akainu spouts, T-Bone, the same bile that the Elder Stars peddle! Is that really what you want in life, T-Bone?! Is that the level you want to sink to!?"

Another silence fell, though it broke just as quickly with T-Bone's weary and ashamed sigh. "My… My apologies, Cross. I have never conformed to the spirit of such teachings… but I have been forced to recite them for years on end, and as such the spewing of such lies has become all but second nature for me. Still, I acknowledge that there is no real excuse for my words."

I nodded in acceptance at the apology, but my scowl snapped right back into place when Bartolomeo spoke again. No, wait, did I say 'spoke'? I meant started cackling.

"Hehahahaha! Nice job putting him in his place, boss-ma—!"

"Bartolomeo, kindly stuff it before I reach halfway across the world and shove your pompadour down your throat," I practically snarled, reducing Bartolomeo to stunned silence.

"C-Cross, wha—!?" he started weakly.

"'What' would be the fact that you're acting like a royal jackass when you don't have any grounds to stand on," I spat. "And why? Well, you kind of burned it when you became involved with a few names. Names like Kironoa, Eolialso, the Prisca Santana, the… ugh, Crobin?"

"Heeheeheehoohoohoo—!"

"Plug it before I plug you," I snarled, prompting Soundbite to flinch self-consciously. "And Barto, you had damn well better remember those names, or else what little respect I have for you at the moment is going to hit rock fucking bottom."

"Wha—Of course I remember, those were some of the—!…ah… w-well, t-the islands and t-the ships that my crew—!" Barto flinched as my glare redoubled. "Ah… t-that I raided! B-but—!" The barrier-man swallowed heavily as he tried to regroup. "W-What the hell of it? So I raid a bit, big fucking whoop! T-That's what pirates do!"

There was a brief moment of painfully tense silence before I leaned forward. "'That's what pirates do', is it?" I hissed. "Do me a favor, would you… remind me when was the last time that the Straw Hats pulled a raid on civilians?"

"Wha-?! B-But that's—!?"

"Or the last time the Sun Pirates did something like that," I forged on through gritted teeth. "Or the Red-Haired Pirates? Or the Whitebeard Pirates?!"

"A-Ah… I, ah… t-that's, ah…" Barto muttered uncomfortably, shifting his eyes side to side as he tried to keep his cool.

"Cross…" Zoro said in warning.

I glanced back at the swordsman before heaving a defeated sigh. "I… alright, fine. Look, T-Bone, Barty, what I'm trying to get at is that for all you two were acting like royal dicks earlier, you're also not wrong. T-Bone, you have to keep in mind that Pirates are still human, or at least sentient living beings, but Barty, you need to acknowledge that the vast majority of pirates are amoral monsters."

"Hey, that's not—!"

"Kuro, Krieg, Crocodile, Blackbeard," I listed off dryly.

"…withdrawn," the barrier-man whispered.

"Alright, look, we're getting off-topic here," Foxy snorted. "Barto might be an idiot, but the rest of us have no such compunctions about our, shall we say, 'chosen profession.' What exactly is the point you're trying to drive at here?"

"What I'm trying to get at is that for all that there are bad pirates," I continued undaunted. "There are still good pirates in the world as well. Pirates who only go out onto the seas in search of adventure, out of a lust for freedom. And unless I'm mistaken, it's safe to say that those same pirates are represented here today, correct?"

"I…" Bartolomeo hesitated slightly before nodding firmly. "Yeah… Yeah, you're damn right!"

"But of course!" Broggy laughed.

"After all!" Dorry proclaimed. "What need have we giants for gold? Nay, we set out to sea in search of honor and glory for Elbaf!"

"Eh, me and mine do like the gold, but we tend to take it from other pirates, so I say we're in the green," Foxy smirked.

"To steal the crown of the King of the Pirates all for myself… Apapa, I'll go down in my tribe's history!" Apoo cackled ecstatically.

Vivi blinked thoughtfully. "Wait, doesn't that mean—?"

"Shhh," Merry shushed her with a grin. "I wanna see how this plays out in the future!"

"There is nothing in the world that matters more than freedom," Marigold quietly contributed.

"I believe I've made my point" I stated. "Now, dedicating ourselves to the integrity of the Marines was all well and good when it was just Marines here, but let's face it! This organization has expanded beyond the corruption of the Navy, and our goals have to expand with it. What I propose is thus: that what we no longer merely aim to rebuild Justice… but rather, that we aim to rebuild the whole world. It is my personal opinion that together, we must strive to build a world where those who do not seek adventure or excitement are justly protected, yes… but also a world that allows those who are swayed by the lure of the seas, swayed by adventure and freedom, to follow their calling freely, and without worry."

There was a long pause as everyone considered my word.

"Eh, what the hell, I've been backing crazy long odds since day one anyways," Smoker muttered with a sigh.

"It sounds idealistic… but honestly, Hina does not believe that that is a point against it, all things considered," Hina added.

"And besides, since when have crazy long odds meant anything to the Straw Hats or anyone on their side?" Jonathan mused with a smirk.

"We could definitely support something like that," Dorry hummed.

"Bigger fights and bigger risks?" Broggy cackled. "You're damn right we can support the hell out of that!"

"APAPAPA! Trust the Straw Hats to jump to the absolute craziest option!" Apoo cackled.

"Ergh…" Foxy sighed with a grimace. "I'm technically a part of their crew, so I'm going right to hell alongside them no matter what I say…" He donned a pained smile a moment later. "So I guess that means I might as well charge right in with everything I've got!"

"So, Mister Cross, if I am understanding you correctly," Tsuru cut in with a measure of sharpness. "You're proposing that we strive first for destroying the current world… and then rebuilding from the ashes to create an entirely new world as well as we can manage? Is that right?"

I made to respond, and then I grinned from ear to ear as a thought struck me. "Yes… yes, that's exactly what I'm proposing! And as such…" I spread my arms invitingly before all of my comrades, physically present or otherwise. "Unless anyone protests, be it either to this change of objective or to what I'm about to suggest, it is my official opinion that we change this organization's name to something that makes our purpose evident to all. Ladies, Gentlemen, assorted bastards and bitches… I propose that henceforth, we label ourselves as the New World Masons. All in favor?"

"Aye!" a unanimous chorus of voices sounded out, with varying amounts of enthusiasm.

"Motion carried!" I nodded gratefully. "Anyways, that's everything particularly pressing at the moment. Who's up next?"

"No, he's on first."

THWACK!

"YEOW!" Soundbite flinched back into his shell with a yelp.

"Thank you," I nodded gratefully at Zoro.

"Just be happy I didn't hit you too," he countered.

"Well, if I may?" Jonathan cut in, though without any heat. "I am currently in possession of two pieces of news, both good and bad. Beginning with the brighter news: with the heavy damage to Blackarm Island, the Navy is in need of a new training base for their recruits, and have selected Navarone. Not only will this omit any lingering budget issues we have, but it should also prove an invaluable resource in turning soldiers to our number, as well as spreading our presence and influence across the globe."

I struggled not to let a massive grin split my face; with Jonathan in command, not even Akainu was likely to root out the mole mine we were setting up. But the other part of what he said still stuck in my mind, leading me to refusing to let me celebrate yet.

"And… the bad news?" I asked, not stopping the dread that creeped into my voice.

Jonathan's smile promptly dropped into a frown. "Well, the former staff of Blackarm Island has relocated to the fortress so as to continue training operations, and after gauging the personality of the chief instructor, I elected to try offering him the position of Taurus. He seemed intrigued at first, but the moment I brought up that we were acquiring intelligence from pirates, he closed off entirely."

I felt my heart threatening to explode. "Sooo on a scale of one to ten, ten being 'Akainu's on his way'—?" I began weakly.

"Calm down, Cross. He may not be willing to join us, but he's not willing to betray us either. He simply has his reservations about cooperating with pirates. When it comes to matters of justice, he acknowledges the corruption of the World Government, and he respects our endeavors to fix it."

"Mmph… and the SBS hasn't done anything to change his view of pirates?" I ground out.

"It had, Cross. But the recent attack by 'Captain' Kid has served to remind him of all the reasons why he and his despise pirates."

I promptly slapped a hand to my face, groaning. "Right, I read something about that dumbass almost getting torn in two by an ex-Admiral, of course it'd be the same one…"

"Ah, if I may?" Vivi spoke up. "Just how deep is this ex-Admiral's grudge against pirates? Because maybe I could try and—"

"In the early days of his career, he lost his wife and son, and more recently he lost an entire division of cadets, save for two, along with his arm, all to pirates," T-Bone wheezed.

"Withdrawn!" Vivi squeaked.

I sighed, shaking my head. "Alright… well, if there's one silver lining here, it's that someone of admiral-level strength sympathizes with our cause, even if he doesn't support us. That's more than I can say for any other Admiral… for now, anyway."

I looked up seriously. "But still, that was too close of a call; if he wasn't sympathetic, we'd all be gargling magma about now. As such, I think we need to come up with a contingency plan for later recruitment attempts; after all, if we let even a single thread get pulled, then everything could potentially come apart at the seams."

"What exactly are you suggesting, Cross?" Vivi asked in a steely tone.

"Oi, watch it!" I snapped indignantly. "I'm not Crocodile and I'm not suggesting we become Baroque Works here. There are more ways to keep people quiet than death; just ask Capricorn and Rooster, seeing as they each have some of the best practitioners of one-such method on their respective crews."

There was a confused pause as everyone wondered what I was referring to, until Hina perked up thoughtfully. "…Hina has Jango, and Goldenweek escaped onto the Cannibal with her cohorts," the infamous Black Cage mused. "You're suggesting that we hypnotize them?"

"Tell me it's not a good idea," I challenged. "It's non-lethal, I've never heard of there being any long-lasting damage, and if it works properly, there's no chance of them ratting us out. Plus, if all goes well, we'll soon have another person capable of brainwashing in our ranks." I blinked. "Actually, what about you, Vice Admiral Tsuru? I don't know much about the Wash-Wash Fruit, but do you think—?"

"Possibly…" the Vice Admiral muttered ponderously. "I've never tried it before… but then again, it's never too late to teach an old ability-user new tricks. I'll see about going out on a few patrols to experiment; Sengoku shouldn't bat an eyelash at my request to be away from Marineford—or more precisely, him—for a while."

I grimaced uncomfortably. "For what it's worth, I still believe he's a good man. I just…"

"Aired his moral failings and dirty laundry to the entire world," Tsuru responded. "I'm aware of that. My issue isn't so much the laundry itself as the fact that he ever accumulated it in the first place. He…" She heaved a weary sigh. "He was my friend, and I thought I knew him… and instead he hid so much from me? I understand that there's pressure at the top, but there's only so much that I can forgive. And I realize now that he passed that point long ago. And for that revelation… I both condemn and thank you."

I grimaced at the weary resignation in her voice, but nonetheless nodded in acceptance. "Alright, so we've got four capable of it, that should be enough for now. Does anyone else have suggestions for additions to the Cleaners?"

A pause fell, and Tsuru broke it with a scoff that sounded more like a chuckle. "Simple, but it will do. Now—!"

"Ah, wait, hold on a sec!" Tashigi spoke up hastily. "I know that I'm going to regret this, but… Goldenweek, Jango and Vice Admiral Tsuru are only three. Who's number four?"

"The other sheep sailing about on the high seas," Merry whistled innocently.

"Uhh… someone else explain, please?" Foxy requested uneasily. "Preferably in a way that makes sense?"

"Oh, she's talking about Kalifa," I blandly replied. "She should be contacting you soon, and I imagine that with enough practice and training from Tsuru, she should be capable of wiping memories too. After all, she was partially successful on Nami on her first try. Isn't that right, Nami?"

Nami responded by rolling her eyes.

"…Kalifa," Tashigi finally bit out. "As in CP9's Kalifa? The exact same Kalifa who tried to kill you all?"

"You mean sort of like how most everyone on this call has tried to kill us in the past, and still fantasize about killing me today?" I responded dryly.

"Seriously, HOW CAN YOU BE EVEN REMOTELY surprised by this?"

"Moving on, right now," the Lieutenant snarled, soliciting chuckles from most of the listeners.

"Mwahahahaha! Seriously, Tashigi, I thought you were past the 'ditz' stage by now," Merry snickered.

"…Cottonmouth? You are as annoying as Cross," Tashigi spat acridly.

I snorted in laughter, but looked curiously at Merry; she was laughing too, but it was clear that it wasn't out of amusement. It seemed more joyful.

"Oh, you don't know the half of it, do you, Tashigi?" Merry said with a smile. "I'm definitely going to have to get on the SBS next time to start telling the world more about their ships. Like I told Iceburg and Franky, the ship's heart is their crew. His or her likes and dislikes, his or her behavior, his or her knowledge, all comes from the ones who he or she carries."

She sat back with a wide, peaceful smile on her face. "I've soaked up a little of everyone on the crew; they've made me who I am, and I couldn't be happier or prouder. Though, heh, I'm not planning on joining Zoro or Leo for a sword fight anytime soon."

"Wait, wha—?" Zoro asked, sitting up. Then he blinked in realization. "…You're saying that you're capable of mimicking all of our fighting styles, Merry?"

The ship-girl shrugged. "Well, obviously, I can't duplicate Luffy or Robin or anyone else who relies on their Devil Fruit. But, for hand-to-hand combat or weaponry? It's… more like muscle memory than actual training, but… yeah, I think I can fake it all well enough."

All present stared at Merry. Then, suddenly, the sound of mass scratching filled the air, drawing our attention back to Soundbite, who was himself glancing down at his grinding teeth in confusion.

"UH, what are you all doing?"

"We're taking notes, of course," Foxy scoffed. "Do you have any idea how much of a riot went on when her wanted poster was published, confirming beyond any doubt that an autonomous ship was responsible for rescuing the Straw Hats from Enies Lobby?"

"Congratulations, you've managed to start a global trend that's going to last for years," Hina huffed.

"You complete. Raging. Bastards," Tashigi ground out in a long-suffering tone.

There was a tense silence as we considered that before Vivi coughed. "Aaanyways, that's everything on your end, Vice Admiral Jonathan?"

"As of now, yes."

"Perfect," I nodded in satisfaction. "So, anyone else have news before I drop another bombshell?"

"Someone please say yes," Smoker groaned.

"Well, I do have one more bit of news," Tsuru stated, a vindictive grin sliding onto her face. "All of you pirates can breathe a little easier for the immediate future. You see, on account of the sudden surge in public unrest and the bad publicity following Enies Lobby, there's been a bout of, shall we say, reassigning going on."

"Oh?" I let a smirk spread across my face. "Please, do tell."

-Four Days Earlier-

Admiral 'Akainu' Sakazuki was glowering worse than usual as he entered his superior's office. He had an operation to plan, dammit, and losing that brat Bartolomeo was infuriating.

"Report," Sengoku ordered tersely, the IV drip hanging at his side serving to emphasize just how drained the Admiral of the Fleets was.

"'Black Bart' Bartolomeo successfully escaped into the Calm Belt," Akainu immediately and tersely summarized. "Boa Hancock reported failure in tracking him down, and there has been no news of him since his escape. All Marine bases in Paradise have been notified to send word if they see him, and in the meantime, his bounty will be tripled."

Sengoku huffed out an angry sigh, idly shuffling through the papers on his desk as he listened. "How can one crew have provoked this much trouble?" He glanced up irritably. "One that doesn't have a D. on it, I mean."

"I assure you, Sengoku, that this will be the last time they do," Akainu stated. "The Straw Hat Pirates should have been exterminated upon their first broadcast, and that's a mistake that I fully intend to rectify."

The Buddha-Human didn't even spare the admiral a glance as he snorted dismissively. "Whatever the hell you're thinking about, forget it. For now," He waved his hand at the chair in front of his desk. "Why don't you just take a seat, make yourself comfortable? We're going to be here awhile."

"With all due respect, sir," Akainu responded as he shook his head and started to turn towards the door. "My men are already preparing my battleship to sail for Water 7, and we're leaving within the hour. By this time tomorrow—"

CRASH!

Akainu flinched as a massive golden fist shot by his head and smashed the office's doors.

"SIT YOUR FUCKING ASS DOWN NOW!"

The admiral shot a glare at his superior, flaring the temperature in the room to the same levels as a raging volcano as he prepared to protest—

"Akainu."

—before clicking his mouth shut and killing the heat dead when he briefly found himself confronted with the sight of a horizon-swallowing, eye-searingly divine figure.

The next instant, he was back in Sengoku's office, the human Admiral of the Fleets still engrossed in his paperwork.

Sengoku glanced up at Akainu. "Sit down."

Akainu tried to muster some form of resistance—

Sengoku's eyes glinted gold. "Before I stop being polite."

And then promptly planted his ass in what he suspected was a deliberately two-sizes-too-small seat.

The Fleet Admiral leveled a stare at him, looking for all the world like the displeased boss that he was. "Just so we're clear, the only reason I am keeping myself calm in this situation is that my age has been showing lately, and I can't maintain my rage for more than a few seconds without my heart giving out on me. Make no mistake, however. We've had more resignations in the last twenty-four hours than the last two years, at least fifteen percent of the World Government's nations have attempted or succeeded in revolution, and above all else, worldwide opinion of the Marines is at an all-time low. I. Am. Furious."

He leaned forward, his eyes narrowing more. "And the two major catalysts for this are the publicizing of CP9's blackbook—which Spandam is being punished for—and the destruction of Ohara. As it stands, we will be lucky if the deployment of the Buster Call isn't deemed a war crime worthy of Impel Down come the next Reverie."

"What!?" Akainu jerked forward in shock. "Sir, I realize that that Call didn't exactly go according to protocol—!"

"PROTO—!?" Sengoku started to roar before wincing and ramming his fist into his chest. "You want to speak to me about protocol?! While I acknowledge that all Buster Calls have high casualty rates, none before have resulted in genocide!"

"I had to be certain that—!"

SMASH!

Akainu promptly shut up when Sengoku's fist split his desk.

"To reiterate," Sengoku hissed. "Do not let my calm demeanor fool you, mutt. I am begging you for any excuse you can give me so that I can lock you away like you deserve. Will you be kind enough to give me that excuse?"

The admiral wisely kept his trap shut.

Sengoku snorted dismissively as he returned his attention to his paperwork. "Of course, now is when you decide to wise up… as I was saying, the main cause of the outcry is the fact that you, an Admiral, sacrificed a shipload of Marines and civilians for no other reason than your own 'Thorough Justice'."

"And what's wrong with—!?"

Sengoku whipped a form out of a drawer and slapped it on the desk. Akainu took one look at the paper, registered the words 'dishonorable discharge' and decided to immediately re-think his priorities.

"As it stands," Sengoku continued. "I'd like nothing more than to throw the book at you just as I did to Spandam, as that would be the easiest and best way to diminish all of the negative publicity we're getting. But as it stands, your abilities remain too much of an asset for the Navy for me to do that. So, what I'm going to do instead is to make sure you don't end up anywhere in the public eye for the foreseeable future."

He pushed his paperwork forward for Akainu to see. "Your new marching orders are as follows: you and Vice Admiral Onigumo—who I am equally infuriated with—will be working together from now on. You will not be assigned to Marineford, you will not be assigned to anywhere in Paradise." He leaned forward, positioning himself so that he was looming over the suddenly, though quietly, terrified admiral. "Your assignment is to bury yourself in the New World like the tick that we both know you are, and wage war against the Four Emperors. You are going to do your level best to remind me, remind Kong, and remind everyone else who outranks you as to why we consider you so much of an asset, and why we cannot simply condemn your overkill-happy ass to Level Six of Impel Down. And if you don't?"

Sengoku pushed himself up from his desk, the light falling just right so that his face was hidden in shadows, two golden orbs where his eyes were.

"There is a very real possibility that we will forget."

He leaned forward and glared in the admiral's face. "Do I make myself clear, soldier?"

"…crystal, sir," the admiral ground out.

"Perfect," Sengoku nodded in satisfaction, ignoring Akainu's tone as he returned to his paperwork. "Just so you know, I fully expected that you would be difficult up to this point, so I decided to get some… assistance in this endeavor."

That prompted Akainu to blink in confusion. "Wait… what do you mean by—?"

SMASH!

Akainu spun around as the entire wall of the office smashed inwards, fully prepared to end whoever the intruder was, and promptly paled in horror when he realized who the intruder was.

"Hello, Mutt," a grinning Monkey D. Garp chuckled grimly as he strode up to his technical superior, slowly cracking his knuckles one by one. "Been awhile. Don't worry, this won't be long, I'm just going to explain to you why you're going to stay the hell away from my grandson."

For the first time in over a decade, Admiral 'Akainu' Sakazuki swallowed fearfully.

-o-

"…After that, well… suffice to say that we probably won't be dealing with that particular walking menace anytime in the near future. He just arrived in the New World today, along with a large selection of Marines with, shall we say, similar views concerning Justice. Odds are quite high that it will be much easier to weed out potential supporters now that Akainu is on the other side of the Red Line, both in Marineford and on the high seas."

I wasn't quite capable of responding to Tsuru on account of how I was only half-listening. The reason for this lack of attentiveness was that halfway through her explanation, all of the pirates present—my friends and I included—and a few of the Marines started straight-up dying with laughter.

"HEHAHAHA! HEHAHAHAHAAAAAA! MY SIDES! MY SIIIIDES!" Bartolomeo howled, tears gushing from his eyes.

"It c-couldn't have happened—PFHAHAHAHA!—to a worse asshole, PFFHAHAHAHAHAAA!" I cackled.

"I m-must agree here," T-Bone gasped, obviously wheezing in an effort to get enough air in his lungs. "I have been w-w-waiting for that literal son of a bitch—FAHAHAHA!—to get comeuppance for the last twelve years!"

It took a good three minutes for us to get ourselves under control enough for Tsuru to speak again.

"Alright, that's all the news I have from the top presently. Is there anything more to discuss this evening?"

A few seconds of silence.

"Eh, I may as well say that I've collected a few more crews for our cause," Foxy said with a shrug. "Also, there seems to be some suspicious activity going around the base of one Captain Moore. Isolated away from any civilian dwellings, ideal for corruption to fester."

"Suggestion noted," Tsuru said, and a slight sound of scratching came across the connection.

"I can assure you that I will be bringing a high recommendation of the New World Masons to my superior," Marigold added. "I cannot promise yet that they will join due to our… circumstances, but I believe that whatever resources we can safely offer are at your disposal."

"Which is a big deal," I confirmed with a sage nod. I then snapped my head up as a thought struck me. "Oh, and speaking of extra resources, good news: I met Dragon, and we're officially allies of the Revolutionary Army now."

The silence was deafening.

"…all in favor of not questioning this turn of events and merely rolling with it?" Jonathan suggested.

"AYE," was the unanimous chorus.

"Heh. Honestly, I don't feel comfortable thinking about it too hard, so I'll agree there too," I snickered before clapping my hands together. "Alright, if there's no further business, I move that we bring this meeting of the New World Masons to a close."

"Seconded," Smoker agreed.

A few seconds in silence passed.

"Motion carried," Apoo stated. "I'm looking forward to the next time I can hijack the SBS, Cross! KA-LICK!"

"Cheers to a new world, Cross. KA-LICK!" Marigold and Bartolomeo departed. And one by one the connections dropped, until the only one speaking through Soundbite was the snail himself.

"So, who exactly is Cobra?" Vivi asked as she confirmed that the connections were gone.

"Boa Marigold, the youngest of Boa Hancock's two sisters," I replied, to much widening of eyes. "And yes, I mean Boa 'the only female Warlord and the most beautiful woman on the six seas' Hancock. Suffice to say that the only reason she's a Warlord is that her contract with the Government is the only thing keeping them from raiding her island; the Boa sisters have more justifiable hatred against them and the male gender than even you can imagine."

Nami raised her finger and started to speak, but promptly lowered said finger and snapped her mouth shut. "I'd ask, but then I remembered what was lying behind the last time I asked, and I'd rather not have nightmares, thank you very much."

My other confidants nodded in agreement with varying amounts of desperation.

I shook my head free of those thoughts as I looked back at the sun, nearly setting, and I felt a smile grow on my face. "…hell of a view…"

I was shaken out of the wonder by a small tug on my pant leg, prompting me to look down at Merry's smiling face. "And I wouldn't be here seeing it without you," she whispered happily.

"Or me," Vivi sniffed haughtily, as she stepped up to me, before looking to the side with a blush and a grin as she rubbed her finger under her nose. "Though… honestly, I think that the positives are outweighing the negatives at this point."

"What they're saying is that you've been making a difference, Cross," Zoro explained with a roll of his eyes. He then donned a glare when Nami thwapped him upside the head, wearing a cheeky grin of her own.

"And what this lug is saying," she chuckled. "Is that we're all happy you're here, Cross."

"NOT ME!" Soundbite denied, not very convincingly. "If it weren't for you, I'D HAVE HIT IT BIG in showbiz!"

"But instead, here you are slumming it with us, huh?" I needled with a smirk of my own.

"…bah. When you put it like that, I suppose it COULD BE WORSE," Soundbite whistled to the side in an oh-so-innocent manner.

I chuckled as I patted his shell, watching the sun sink all the while. "Don't ever change, Soundbite."

"Not even if they paid me, Cross. Not even then."

-o-

The six of us watched the sunset from the lip of the fountain until it vanished over the horizon, then headed back to the base for a casual night, followed by a casual day, and another casual night; the only occurrences of any noteworthiness during that time were Zoro picking out a new sheath for Funkfreed and Merry finally growing strong and stable enough to move without her crutches, though it'd be a while longer before she was capable of full-on running.

Then, on the morning of our seventh day since escaping Enies Lobby, Zambai and a visibly exhausted Paulie woke us up early to inform us that the new ship was finished. Needless to say, within the hour all twenty-one of us were assembled on Scrap Island, facing a massive structure covered with a massive tarp, held by two-thirds of the remnants of Tom's Workers…

-o-

"Nagagaga! I wasn't about to miss the chance to do this!" Kokoro chuckled, standing alongside Iceburg and ready to tear off the tarp at a moment's notice. "After all, the last time I was a part of an unveiling like this, it was for old Jacky himself!"

"Woohoo!" Luffy whooped eagerly, all of the implications of the moment lost as he jumped from foot to foot with ill-suppressed eagerness. "New ship, new shiiiiiip!"

Luffy wasn't alone in his eagerness, either (big surprise). Everyone else on the crew was just as eager as him, though the degrees to which they were showing it varied, from Chopper's equally starry-eyed squealing to Zoro's stoic smile.

Still, even in the midst of all the anxiety and fervor, Conis still had enough wits about herself to glance around with a thoughtful look. "I'm sorry, but shouldn't we wait for Franky? I mean, he did build this new ship, right?"

"No way! If he's not here, that's his problem! I'm too eager for you all to see big bro large and in charge to wait!" Merry squealed, bouncing for joy on Funkfreed's newly-plate-mail-armored head, said armor having been acquired courtesy of his brand-spanking new sheath.

"Eeeasy there," the elephant-sword chuckled, centering Merry on his head with a poke of his trunk.

"I'll admit, I'm pretty eager myself," I breathed, already soaking in the covered form before me with awe. "My memory's a little bit fuzzy, six months of wear and tear and all, but one thing I'm positive of?" I shook my head slowly. "The ship that I remember was not that big."

"Heheh, yeah," Merry laughed into her hand. "Franky was gonna make him smaller, but once he heard how many of us there are and once he got some say-so in matters, he told Franky one thing and one thing only!" Her grin widened to the point that it was visible even with her hand in place. "Big."

I nodded numbly as I took it all in. "Yeah… he hit that mark…"

"This is gonna be eeeepiiiiic," Mikey whispered softly as he eagerly rubbed his hands together, his reaction mirrored between the rest of the crew's Dugongs.

"Enough waiting, show us our ship already!" Luffy roared, throwing up his fists in impatience.

"Heh, well, if that's how you feel…" Iceburg nodded in knowing agreement. "With Franky gone, I'll just have to unveil this ship to you in his place. And I have to say, it is quite a ship. My eyes lit up when I beheld the blueprints for this ship, and for good reason. This ship is truly incredible, capable of—!"

"Oh, will you shut your trap already!?"

"Wha—?"

THWACK!

"GAH!" Iceburg yelped when a pair of small feet slammed into his face and knocked him aside.

"Dynamic Entry!" Merry proclaimed as she stuck her landing, none the worse for wear after Funkfreed had flung her at the foreman, apparently at her prompting. She then flashed a pair of victory signs with a large grin. "Merry Edition!"

Nami promptly levelled a flat glare at me. "I blame you."

I donned a massive grin of my own as I flashed my own victory sign. "I accept that blame with pride!"

"What the hell was that for, you brat!?" Iceburg demanded as he shot up into a sitting position, pinching his bleeding nose shut.

"You were taking too long!" Merry stuck her tongue out at the man before grinning at us. "And Big Bro's getting impatient, so without further ado?" She grabbed the hem of our new ship's cover. "I give you none other than my brand-spanking-new Big Bro!"

And the amusement and bemusement amidst the crew faded into nonexistence as we beheld the spectacle that Merry unveiled.

"AWESOME!" the Kiddy Trio and TDWS exclaimed.

Boss bowed and shook his head with a chuckle. "Truly," he breathed out a proud cloud of smoke. "A ship capable of fulfilling all manner of Man's Romances."

"Hmph," Zoro smiled honestly. "Now that's a big ship."

"Incredible…" Robin breathed, lightly thumbing her stetson's brim up.

"THE KITCHEN! I NEED TO SEE THE KITCHEN RIGHT AWAY!" Sanji declared.

"It's magnificent!" Conis gasped, clasping her hands before her chest.

"I'll second that!" Su nodded her head emphatically in agreement.

"Even I'm impressed, this is amazing!" Lassoo panted eagerly.

"I've seen the battleships of Marineford, and this blows them clean out of the water!" Funkfreed trumpeted.

"Forget Marineford!" Vivi squealed, stars shining in her eyes. "Over half the ships that show up to the Reverie pale in comparison, and those carry kings!"

"Ah'll second that!" Carue squawked as he snapped his wing up in salute.

"…the GOD OF NOISE… has been left SPEECHLESS," Soundbite gaped in awe.

And in all honesty, I couldn't blame my partner, seeing as I was right there with him; double the budget and add a ship-whisperer into the development, and the result was… well. It was definitely the Straw Hat Pirates' second ship, the design was unmistakable, but in form? It was an entirely new beast that stood before me.

The first and most obvious distinction was the third mast sitting in the middle section of the ship sporting furled square sails, part of a distinctly longer middle deck that gave the ship a leaner, sleeker look than the canon vessel. The mizzenmast on the rear deck had been adjusted, too. The arms of the mast were now parallel with the length of the ship instead of perpendicular, and I think the sails were different too? Sue me, I'm not a maritime expert. They'd adjusted the bow, too; the lion figurehead was now on the end of a longer extension sporting additional sail lines, and the entire bow was more sharply curved forward. And… I squinted at the form of Iceburg standing next to the ship. I think it might have been a bit higher above the water, too.

The overall effect was a ship that wasn't just fifty percent heavier, or so Iceburg informed us, but that also just plain looked faster than the admittedly kind of squat and tubby canon ship. It wasn't as inviting, but it made it look a bit meaner, so overall I think it was a bit of a wash in that department.

My inspection done, I leaned over to Nami, who was still doing her own examination. "So, what kind of ship is this, exactly?"

"I'm pretty sure it's a three-masted barque," she absently replied. There was a momentary pause, and then she grinned the sunniest grin I'd seen on her face in a long while. "It is! Oh, this is perfect! I was a bit worried they'd give us a ship-rigged tub, but this'll turn circles around most Marine ships! And we'll definitely have enough people to man the rigging, I was worried about that, too! Ohhh, I can't wait to get at the helm and take her for a cruise!"

"IIII'll take your word for it," I chuckled, feeling a drop of sweat run down the back of my head. "Anyway, though, before we go onboard, I think we should give our newest crewmate his name."

"WHAT?" Merry's attitude spun around immediately as she shot a stern glare at me. "Cross, unveiling him without Franky being here is one thing, but to not let the one who conceived him have any part—!"

"If my memory is accurate, the name he set his heart on is 'New Battle Franky, Lion Gang Champion'," I said, most certainly not with a smirk.

"…Right, then! Let's give big bro his name before we go onboard!" Merry cheered, her attitude completing its revolution, albeit with a way more rigid smile.

"That should be easy!" Usopp smiled eagerly as he turned towards me. "Cross, in the story, what—?"

"USOPP!"

"Gah!" our sniper yelped when Luffy suddenly shouted.

"We can't just ask Cross for the ship's name," our captain informed him. "He only knows the name that a crew just like ours asked. If we choose the same name, fine, but we have to choose it ourselves! We're not just gonna steal it from them!"

"Well…" Usopp bowed his head in admonishment before smiling confidently at Luffy. "Well in that case, what names do you have?"

Luffy crossed his arms and tilted his head to the side, smoke all but visibly wafting up from his head as his mental gears ground against each other. And then his head popped up with a grin, a lightbulb practically shining over his head.

"Black Bear Polar Bear Lion Tiger!"

There was a heavy silence as everyone stared at him before Usopp clapped his hands. "Right, anyone else?"

"Oh, oh!" Vivi waved her hand eagerly. "How about… the 'Grace of Sekhmet'?"

"Denied!" Merry sang, popping her hand up. "Big bro's a boy!"

Vivi's face flushed as she slowly lowered her head. "Oh… yeah… right…"

"Still way better than Luffy's suggestion…" I muttered.

"Like that's hard…" Carue muttered under his breath.

"Super Wolf Gorilla Bear!"

We all ignored the rubber-man in favor of waiting for someone else to speak up.

"How about…" Conis tapped her chin thoughtfully before pounding her fist in her palm with a satisfied smile. "Fluffy McFluffmeister? That sounds fierce, right?" She waited for a moment before glancing around in confusion when nobody said anything. "What? What's wrong?"

Su slapped a paw to her face with a moan. "Ohhh honey…"

"Next!"

"How about 'Big Boss Lionel'?" Zoro volunteered.

"I suggest Monsieur Sunflower," Sanji contributed.

"Dandelion Lion Dandy Unbearable Bear!" was Luffy's contribution.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU THREE!?" Usopp roared incredulously.

"Better question: what isn't?" Lassoo snorted.

"Alright, that's it, silence from the Monster Trio!" Merry barked, exasperation battling with how she looked to be three seconds from busting a stitch.

Honestly, I had to agree with Merry on this one. Those names were so bad that even our ship was sporting a sweatdrop of its own. Or maybe that was just ocean spray, hard to tell. Then Robin opened her mouth.

"Do not say 'Being of Darkness'," I warned her. She promptly tilted her hat down and glanced to the side with a whistle as many of the crew turned to stare at her.

"… 'Nostromo', then?" she suggested.

My head bounced as the sheer weight of that name struck me.

"I'd go for 'Ishimura' myself!" Boss proclaimed with a stab of his cigar.

"Agreed!" his students barked eagerly.

My head bounced even harder from that one.

"Tsk! Amateurs, THE LOT OF YOU!" Soundbite sniffed imperiously. "Clearly our beloved vessel deserves one name and ONE NAME ONLY!"

I shot a glare at Soundbite out of the corner of my eye. "Don't you dare. Don't you fucking—!"

"ALL HAIL THE ENTERPRISE!"

WHAM!

Aaand that one was heavy enough that I outright face-faulted.

"Captain?" I growled into the dirt. "My patience is rapidly wearing thin… as is the integrity of my skull."

"Okay," Luffy nodded. "Merry? What does our ship want to be named?"

"Doesn't work that way," Merry deadpanned as she waved her hand before her face. "We name him, he doesn't have any opinion either way except that it not be terrible."

"Oh…" Luffy slowly nodded his head in understanding.

"Hmm… oh!" Chopper snapped his head up as an idea came to him, eagerly grinning at me. "Cross, you can't tell us what the other crew named their ship, but it's alright if we come to the same name on our own, so… can you tell me what led them to choose that name?"

Luffy perked up with a grin at that. "Hey, that works! I'm with Chopper! Come on, Cross, what was it?"

"Ah…" I hesitated for a moment, glancing around at the crew and confirming that everyone was giving me their consent before looking at the ship before us and searching my thoughts for a good way to word this. And then… and then I had it.

I grinned as I jerked my chin dead ahead. "If you want an answer," I drawled. "Then just look to his mane."

All eyes turned toward the figurehead, staring at the orange spikes that composed its mane. For a few seconds, they just stared. Then I smiled as I saw understanding come into their eyes, lighting them all up one by one.

The second everyone got it, I spread my arms wide. "Ladies and gentlemen," I proclaimed proudly. "Allow me to introduce you all to the second and hopefully final ship of the Straw Hat Pirates! The ship that will carry us all to the shores of the isle of Raftel! The ship that is destined to carry us across the sunny waters of a thousand seas. Please welcome…" I swung my arm at the ship's figurehead. "The Thousand Sunny."

The instant the words left my lips, a wave struck the ship and caused it to rear up in the water, a groan, no, a roar echoing out from every plank of wood that composed him.

"…I am so in love with this crew," I breathed.

"And he really loves that name!" Merry cried as she literally jumped for joy.

"Shishishishi!" Luffy laughed happily. "Then the Thousand Sunny it is!"

"Tch," Zoro grumbled. "I still say that Big Boss Lionel would be better…"

"Denied!" Boss immediately interjected. "There's only one Boss on this crew and he likes his cigars thick and his enemies powerful!"

"Well, I certainly like it…" Nami said with a smile. "Sunny…"

"Full approval here!" Usopp and Chopper cheered as they shot their hands up.

"AGREED!" the Teenage Dugong Warrior Squad leapt and shouted as one.

Conis nodded her head politely. "Pleased to meet you, Sunny."

"Ditto!" Su cheered in agreement.

"Looks to me like everyone's as happy with the name as he is!" Funkfreed remarked.

"Well, if that's the case, then there's only one thing left to do!" Merry proclaimed.

The ship-girl rapped her fist on the nearest part of Sunny's hull she could reach, and a rope dropped down from the rigging in response. She then wrapped the rope around her arm and gave it a firm tug. Now, the rope dropping could have been a coincidence, but the rope yanking Merry up and onto the deck's railing? Not a coincidence.

"Come on!" Merry cried, waving her arms eagerly. "I'll give you all the grand tour!"

I blinked stupidly as I tried to figure out what the hell I'd just seen. "…well, shit."

"Nagagaga! Well, that's certainly not something you see every day!" Kokoro laughed uproariously.

"What the—?! How!?" Iceburg demanded. "I never saw anything like that in… the…" Iceburg's eyes then widened in realization, his jaw dropping like a stone. "…all those times you snuck off during construction…"

"That's ri~ght!" Merry sang, swaying side-to-side as she stuck her tongue out. "Big Bro Franky was technically a part of the crew by the time everyone hit Enies, so I picked up some shipwrighting from him, and while we were building Big Bro I hid tons and tons of tricks and gimmicks all around his body, and only I know how to work them! Cool, huh?"

"Considering how I actually got to know you while we were building Thousand Sunny?" Iceburg swallowed heavily as he eyed the ship-girl. "'Terrifying' might be the more appropriate term."

"Just be glad she's on our side!" Kokoro chuckled, knocking back her bottle.

I took that as my cue to not pursue the subject. "Right, then!" I said eagerly. "Given most of my knowledge is now completely null and void, what say we go ahead and look at our new home?"

Luffy had rocketed himself to the deck long before I finished speaking, and the rest of the crew barely waited before we were all running towards the beautiful barque. A few ropes and rubber lines later, and we were standing on one of the Thousand Sunny's key features, canon and now.

"THERE'S A LAWN!" Luffy laughed eagerly, he and the rest of the Kiddy Trio plus Lassoo throwing themselves onto the grass and rolling around in bliss.

"You've just made yourself a friend of sea-faring dogs the world over!" the mutt-cannon panted ecstatically.

"Forget the dogs, I'm in heaven!" Su cheered as she shot to and fro about the lawn. "So much vearth, so much green, and I'm going to be living on it!? Woohoo!"

"And trees, too?" Funkfreed breathed in awe as he chowed down on a few leaves from one of said trees. "This is… wow."

"You can definitely say that again…" I replied. And I meant it too, because 'wow' was the only conceivable word for the Sunny's mid-deck. The canon version had been impressive enough, but this? A field of greenery that was twice as long and half again the width, and this was all on a ship.

And the size wasn't the only obvious difference in the deck, either.

"Oh, what's this?" Sanji whistled appreciatively as he looked around the structure he'd entered. It was a pavilion, erected in the center of the deck between the main masts, though closer to the second. It was a simple thing, really: ten feet tall, eight wide and about sixteen long, and raised on a deck of wood. Overall, it looked like a wall-less—if well-maintained—shack.

Currently, Sanji was occupied with the central feature of the pavilion: an empty rectangular bar, erected in the center of the building. "So…" he mused as he ran his hand over the bar's countertop. "I take it that this place is meant to be a picnic area or something like that?"

"Even better!" Merry proclaimed, stomping her foot in the grass. Said stomp caused a section of the floorboards in the center of the bar to part open, and allowed a table of metal to rise into sight. Its purpose was unclear only until the air above the metal started to shimmer, joined by a few trails of smoke.

Sanji was practically drooling as he took it in. "An outdoor hibachi grill…"

"More than just that!" Merry sang. "Hey, Conis!"

"Hm?" the Skypiean said, looking over from where she'd been watching Su clamber about one of the trees. "What is it?"

"Oooh, nothing much," Merry giggled. "I just wanted to show you…" She stomped the grass again, causing the grill to retract and a number of metal walls with metal sheets over them to rise and fill the whole bar area. Yet another stomp and the sheets sank… to reveal all of the weapons she had brought with her hung up and arrayed in style. "Your own personal armory!" Merry proclaimed as she swung her arms out.

"Oh, wow!" Conis breathed in awe, before hesitating slightly. "Ah… but Merry, even if those weapons are hidden below the deck… is it really such a good idea to have them all out in the open like this?"

"Already thought of that~!" Merry sang, and with yet another stomp, a quartet of walls shot up and properly sealed the armory, with a plain old hinged-door in the side allowing for easy entrance and exit. "Voila! Ready to weather the worst that the elements can throw at us!"

Sanji pushed the door open and poked his head out with an impressed whistle. "This'll definitely be handy. For many reasons."

"Glad to hear it!" Merry nodded before turning to at Lassoo and Funkfreed. "This place'll also be you guys' sleeping quarters, special cases for the both of you to snooze in. Sound good?"

The Zoan-weapons exchanged glances before nodding contentedly.

"Does to me!" Funkfreed replied.

"Sure as heck beats sleeping on my stomach!" Lassoo chuffed.

"Great!" Merry said, beaming. "And don't worry, I'll teach you guys how to work the pavilion's controls, so that you can operate it yourselves. Oh, and Conis!" She jabbed her finger at the gunner. "There are also a ton of controls all throughout Sunny that work the cannons, aiming them and firing them and all that, so I'll teach you how to work those, too. Fair warning, it'll be a lot of work. You think you're up for it?"

Conis didn't even hesitate to pump both her fists in a clear show of readiness, steam all but shooting from her nostrils and her eyes shining. "Of course!"

"And don't worry, she won't be alone either!" Su cried, leaping onto her owner's shoulder. "One is good, two is better!"

Merry grinned. "Alright, I'll start showing you the ropes once we're on our way! Oh, and speaking of which…" She rapped her fist against the primary main mast (the one with the weight-room/crow's nest), and another rope with a handle at the end dropped down. She looked at me and pointed to the rope, grinning. "Just give that a yank and it'll take you straight to the radio room! Fair warning, you're gonna wanna hang on tight!"

I exchanged eager grins with Soundbite before jogging over to the line, grabbing it firmly and giving it a hard yank.

One arm-straining and utterly exhilarating ride later, I was perched on the roof of the crow's nest. I was a bit confused at first, but then Soundbite indicated a trapdoor in the roof that I was… pretty damn certain hadn't been there in canon. So, I popped it open, dropped through, and entered my personal radio room.

Apparently, Franky and Merry had installed a makeshift attic in the weight room, which they'd converted into where I was now. Admittedly, the room was kind of plain at first glance: a slot on the wall designed for my transceiver, a large swivelling chair beside a desk, a perch with a bowl nearby where Soundbite could sit and nom on whatever the heck he wanted, and a bed (Franky's definition of a cot, I'm sure) at the other end of the room. That was about it, though. Eh, it made sense, I suppose, I'd have to decorate on my own time.

"Kind of a—WHOA, what the—?" Soundbite cut himself off as he noticed his voice echoing. I looked more closely at the walls, and then I recognized that thanks to the angle and design, they'd bounce any sound that came from near the chair. I grinned; with Soundbite's powers, that had serious potential.

"This is sooo cool…" I breathed.

"I know, right!?" Luffy agreed.

I started in shock as Luffy's voice came from the desk. I approached the desk, slid the top back using a handle I'd located—

"WHOOOA," Soundbite gaped.

I felt my jaw drop almost to the desk as I took in the large collection of pipe-like tubes arranged like a piano, each one labeled for a different place on the ship. Then, looking up, I saw that I had missed what was behind the desk: a collection of pipes that made the desk look more like a freaking pipe organ.

Acting on a hunch, I pressed one of the keys for the deck and spoke up. "Hey, can anyone hear me?"

"Cross?" Zoro's voice came out of the corresponding pipe. "The heck, did you get Soundbite's powers or something?"

"Nope!" Merry piped up from… another pipe. "He just found the ship-wide comms system I put in his room! Lets him hear everything across the ship, and spread his voice everywhere, too! Neat, huh?"

"But ain't dat wat Soundbite's fowah? Heheheheh—!" Carue's snickered through the pipes.

"Oh, so you mean you want Soundbite to keep his monopoly on all things auditory?"

"Heheh—squawk!"

"Hmm…" Soundbite hummed thoughtfully before cocking his head to the side. "BAH. I SHALL BE GRACIOUS ENOUGH TO GRANT YOU ALL THIS TRESPASS UNTO MY DOMAIN!"

"Glad to hear it, my liege! Now, hurry up and zipline down the rope I've got set up over the crow's nest! I wanna show you guys the helm!"

My partner blinked in confusion. "Huh? The helm? WHY? What could be so special about THAT?"

As it turns out, quite a bit.

"Pirates and piratesses, allow me to present to you," Merry proclaimed in a grandiose manner as she swept her arms before her. "The nerve center of Big Bro Sunny!"

And it certainly looked the part, without a doubt. Rather than a pedestrian wheeled helm with a lever next to it, Sunny's helm was affixed to what I can only define as a U-shaped dashboard that, despite the low-tech look of the dizzying array of levers, switches, winches, and buttons, would have been right at home in a Mecha anime. Add in the number of hand-brake style levers lined up next to the wheel-proper and the pedals below the wheel, and it was just…

"Wow," I repeated numbly.

Merry grinned eagerly as a rumbling groan ran through Sunny. "Big Bro really likes how much that's been said about him!"

"Hrm…" Nami hummed as she leaned around the panel and thoroughly examined it, her clouds swaying around it but never actually touching it. "This all looks impressive, sure, but… what exactly does it all do?"

"Weeell…" Merry began with a grin.

And what followed was a complex series of gestures and jargon that I will spare you readers the difficulty of muddling through. When she stopped speaking, I looked at my crewmates. Soundbite's eyes were spinning, Robin was frowning in a clear attempt to keep up, and everyone else was either staring blankly or asleep on their feet.

Nami, meanwhile, was practically vibrating. "Really?"

"Uh-huh!" Merry nodded with just as much eagerness. "Ain't it cool?"

"I think all of us normies agree that it would be cooler in English," Raphey deadpanned, Mikey's subsequent snore serving to underline her point.

Merry shot a sidelong glare at the dugong before sweeping her arm over the dashboard. "All of these controls here," she drawled. "Are capable of operating every line, every sail, every timber…" She then donned a more bloodthirsty smile as she flipped a toggle.

TH-THWACK!

"AGH!" "OUCH, DAMN IT!"

"And every pulley," Merry snickered as she watched the pair of dugongs nurse the brand new lumps they were sporting. "On Big Bro Sunny. Sure, there are odds and ends everywhere in the woodworks, but this here is the master enchilada, way more impressive. You like?"

"Worth every last beri we paid," Nami breathed. Most everyone present developed sweatdrops; the last time she had been this excited was when she saw the pillar back on Upper Yard, and Robin was already surreptitiously preparing a dope-slap. However, the arm on Nami's hand evaporated when she suddenly blinked the beri-signs out her eyes. "Eh? Wait a second… hey, Merry, I just realized: none of these controls are actually labeled."

Hearing that, the ship-girl flinched and refused to meet anyone's gazes as she scratched her blushing cheeks. "Eh… r-r-really… i-is that so, huh… w-well then, I suppose that it'd be best if the person operating it were…" She glanced at Luffy sheepishly. "Someone who knew Big Bro Sunny… inside and out?"

Luffy's response, of course, was to smile. Only unlike usual? This was a smile not of amusement, but rather one that was wholly and undoubtedly kind. "We wouldn't have anyone else at Sunny's helm, Merry."

Merry instantly snapped out of her funk with a massive grin before snapping her attention upward, her expression changing yet again to show a more solemn smile. "Thanks, Captain. But before that, there's… one thing I need to take care of real quick."

With that, she flicked one of the dashboard's toggles, grabbed the rope that swung into reach and, with a tug, was yanked up onto the top of the crew's nest. A glance at Soundbite was all that was needed for him to amp her.

"We've got one last thing we need to do before Sunny can really be our ship!" she proclaimed, digging her hand through her coat and withdrawing—

"Is that our spare flag?" Usopp asked, drawing down one of his lenses in order to better scrutinize the black cloth that Merry was holding.

"Nope." Merry shook her head with a sad smile, drawing her coat open and indicating the emblem on her chest. "This is our spare flag. What I'm holding…" She held the flag to her chest, tears shimmering in her eyes. "It's the original. I… I can't bear it anymore, not with all my damage, and… and I'm g-gonna miss it…" She was silent for a moment before smiling contentedly. "But… I'm alright with that. I'm alright because I know… I know that the next person to bear it is going to do it and do it right. So…"

And so, with almost reverential slowness and care, Merry tied her flag—our flag—to Sunny's flagpole, keeping it bunched up once it was secure. The second the deed was done, however, she re-donned her usual grin and gazed back down at us. "And now…"

She stamped on the crow's nest and let the flag loose at the same time, and both the flag and Sunny's mainsail snapped into full view as one. And with Merry's coat still open, it was a trinity of skulls that smiled down at us.

"I'm proud to announce!" Merry cried, her fists planted on her hips. "That as of this moment, the second ship of the Straw Hat Pirates, the Thousand Sunny, and the helmsgirl, 'White Menace' Going Merry, are officially reporting for duty!"

Luffy grinned, as did the rest of us. And after the moment passed, I spoke up again. "Now we just need to get Franky here so that the Thousand Sunny can have his maiden fli—!"

CLONK!

"Ow!" I winced, rubbing the spot Merry had handily landed on before chuckling sheepishly as I realized what she was glaring at us for. "Ah… maiden voyage, I mean."

"Much better!" Merry chuckled before blinking and glancing around in confusion. "But… ah… now that I think about it, Big Bro Franky is pretty late. What the heck is keeping him?"

"Ohh, nothing much," I said with a smirk. "He's just laboring under the delusion that he's not coming."

Merry stared blankly at me before cocking her head to the side. "…I'm guessing you have something in your head to fix that particular bit of stupidity?"

The grin I donned was swiftly mirrored by her, by Luffy, aaaand by pretty much everyone else on the crew.

-o-

Nine minutes later, the streets of Water 7 were filled with civilians, their eyes and mouths open wide as they stared at the vulgar display going on. Some were simply averting their eyes. Some were trying and failing to look away. A few were even wiping nosebleeds. One notable old woman was yelling angrily at a small group of children, pointing towards the chase and telling the children not to follow her finger.

Naturally, this led to them disobeying and laying eyes on the Franky Family as they fled, holding a blue speedo like a flag, and their boss, naked from the waist down, charging furiously after them.

"YOU STUPID SONS OF BITCHES!" Franky roared, swinging his fists like pistons as he ran. "GIVE ME BACK MY SPEEDO, RIGHT NOW!"

"KEEP RUNNING!" Zambai shouted in contradiction, pushing himself to run as fast and as hard as he could to keep ahead of his big bro. "I KNOW THIS HURTS—!"

"AND IS GONNA HURT IN IN A LOT OF WAYS IF HE CATCHES US!" Kiwi added.

"BUT THIS IS FOR HIS SAKE!" Zambai forged on. "WE GOTTA KEEP RUNNING, EVEN IF HE KILLS US!"

"YOU DAMN—! Wait a second…" Franky screeched to a halt and glanced around at the surrounding neighborhood, causing his family to stop dead as well. "The way we're going… oh ho hooo…" the cyborg shook his head with a chuckle. "Smart. You're all gonna catch hell for this later on, but still, smart. And this whole thing would'a worked, too… if not for one iiiity bitty thing."

The three brains of the Franky Family exchanged wary glances before looking back at their leader. "Oh, yeah?" they asked uneasily. "What's that?"

Franky grinned malevolently as he dug through his vest. "Well, after hanging around with the Straw Hats for a while, I've learned a thing or two about having back-ups in place. As such, while I was out getting the Adam Wood for the Straw Hat's ship, I also got…" He whipped something out and held it proudly in the air. "This!"

All the Franky Family could do was gape in horror at what their boss was letting wave out.

"Oh, shit…" Zambai breathed numbly.

"He outsmarted us," Kiwi moaned. "How is that even possible!?"

"How did we not think that he could do this?" Mozu cursed.

"OH, COME OFF IT ALREADY!" Franky bit out indignantly. "IS IT THAT CRAZY TO THINK THAT I COULD BUY A BACK-UP PAIR OF SPEEDOS!?"

"HELL YES!" the Franky Family shouted back.

The rest of the onlooking public, meanwhile, had a slightly… different opinion. Namely?

"JUST PUT THE DAMN THING ON ALREADY!"

Franky winced as a tin can bounced off his temple. "Alright, alright, eesh, keep your shirts on…" And with that, the cyborg lowered the swimwear, prepared to step into it—

"YOINK!"

"GAH!" And was nearly yanked off his feet when a blur shot past him and snatched the speedos out of his hands. "What the—HELL!?" Franky sputtered incredulously as he caught sight of a certain tyke riding a certain reindeer holding his speedos down the street. "REINDEER-BRO? MERRY!? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?"

"TEACHING YOU THAT IT AIN'T SMART TO BE STUPID!" Merry shot back. Her smirk then widened as she held up the speedos next to her mouth. "Still though, good choice. Is this spandex I smell or—?"

"If you eat that, I'm pumping your stomach!" Chopper snapped over his shoulder at her.

Merry pouted as she stuffed the speedos in her jacket. "Spoilsport…"

Chopper shook his head in a long-suffering manner before looking back at Franky. "Anyway, if you want your speedos back, come and get us!"

Franky ground his teeth furiously, and seemed about two seconds away from doing just that, up until his family finally got their act together and produced the Fire Anything Cannon, rolling it towards the cyborg. Said cyborg tried to move away from it—

"Eisen Tempo."

"GAH!"

Only for a massive fist of clouds to snatch him up and hold him high in the air in spite of his frantic flailing. Franky only had a second to catch sight of the serenely smiling second mate waving at him before the clouds not-so-gently decided to stuff him down the barrel of the cannon head-first.

"I assume you can handle the rest," she asked, dusting her hands off as her clouds jabbed Franky as far down the barrel as they could manage.

"You're damn right we can!" Zambai swiftly responded before snapping out orders at the rest of the Franky Family. "Come the hell on, everyone! Put your damn backs into it! Raise the barrel! AIM FOR SCRAP ISLAND!"

"IF YOU SONS OF BITCHES FIRE THIS THING, I'M GONNA—!"

BLAM!

"—YEEEOOOOW!" was the last thing that was heard as Franky was suddenly sent flying.

Nami whistled as she shadowed her eyes in order to better watch the cyborg soar. "Nice shot."

"I'm no expert, but I'm very impressed by the top-spin I'm seeing," Chopper mused.

"Ya know what really gets me?" Merry added, tilting her head thoughtfully. "For a guy who's visibly top-heavy and is mostly metal, Big Bro Franky's surprisingly aerodynamic."

"Hmm…" Nami hummed in agreement before waving her hand. "Well, c'mon, we'd better hurry and get back to the Sunny with his undies; unless we have those hostage, he'll probably just run off again."

"Right," Chopper nodded, and no sooner had looked at the nearest canal than three Yagara bulls swam up, offering their backs. "So, you guys think you can get us there before Franky pulls himself together?"

The grins splitting their faces were simultaneously reassuring and worrying.

-o-

The rest of the crew, myself included, watched as the proof of our crewmates' success crashed into a mountain of wreckage. With all of the experience I had with my captain's ham-handedness, I couldn't keep from wincing in sympathy. But I couldn't fight down a grin either.

Admittedly, there was a bit of a scare when our friends didn't get back before Franky arrived, but thankfully the cyborg must have happened to clock his head against a particularly thick piece of ship, because he was still stuck and twitching in the pile by the time the Union got them back. Un-fortunately, however, that meant we had an… extended period of time where Franky was stuck. Headfirst. Showing off his… bottom half to everyone watching. And going by the screaming and shouting coming from the city, that was a lot of everyone.

Urgh… some moments of the journey are glorious, but others…

Finally, Franky shoved himself out of the junk pile just as our away team got back onboard. The cyborg spent a second blinking around in confusion before smirking as he caught sight of the Sunny. "So, you bastards actually got me here, huh? Well, while I'm here… Hey, Straw Hat! Whaddaya think of the ship, huh? Have you checked out—?"

"Cram it, Franky!" Merry interrupted, levelling an acrid glare at him. "You know that Big Bro Thousand Sunny is perfect! If you've got anything you wanna show us, why don't you come up here and do it yourself!?"

"Ah," Franky flinched uncomfortably, scratching his chin as he pointedly looked away. "That's, ah…"

"But hey," Merry shrugged innocently as she dug what I could only assume was Franky's speedo out of her coat. "Don't take it from me…" She grinned as she tossed the undies to our captain. "Take it from him."

Luffy accepted the undergarments with a wider grin than anyone in his position should have and waved them in the air as proudly as our flag. "FRANKY!" he bellowed. "IF YOU WANT YOUR SPEEDOS BACK—Oh, hey, these are soft, do you have any—?"

"LUFFY!"

"Right! IF YOU WANT THEM BACK, THEN YOU NEED TO ACCEPT YOUR PLACE ON MY CREW! WHAT DO YOU SAY?"

"…What do I say?" Franky slowly bowed his head with a chuckle. "Well, in a situation like this, where my only options are my pride or my decency…"

"Oh, lord…" I groaned, pinching the bridge of my nose, because I could already tell where this was going.

"THEN I SHALL LET MY PRIDE STAND PROUD!" Franky howled as he struck the most revealing pose he could. "EVEN AS I STAND NUDE!"

I winced as a renewed round of screams started up from the city. "Damn it all, Franky, this is why I can't start up the SBS yet!"

"Do we weawwy need him on owah cweh?" Carue groaned as he peeked at the spectacle through his feathers.

"Whoa!" Luffy gasped in astonishment. "I underestimated his determination!"

"Indeed!" Boss declared with a grim frown. "Truly, I did him a disservice in our earlier duel. For never did I suspect for an instant, that in truth…"

The two snapped their heads up with tears of pride. "TRULY HE IS A MAN AMONG MEN!"

SLAM!

"WHAT THE APOPHIS IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO!?" Vivi howled as she bounced the pair's skulls off the deck.

I shook my head in despair at the display, and I prepared to address the commando-cyborg, but then my attention was diverted by the very familiar sounds of brawling behind us. I cast a flat look at our second and third strongest. "Alright, I'll bite: what set those morons off this time?"

"SANJI WAS DISGUSTED BY FRANKY FLASHING the women of Water 7," Soundbite drawled. "While Zoro was impressed by HIS SENSE OF SHAME. OR MORE ACCURATELY, his lack thereof."

I rolled my eyes before raising my voice. "FRANKY! You know my secret, so you know that I know what I'm talking about when I say this: you do not want to keep being stubborn! The nuclear option hurts like hell, for everyone involved!"

Franky looked at me, and seeing my expression, he actually hesitated. And then…

"…make it fast, Robin," I muttered, looking away from the full moon—no, the shaking full moon—I got for my troubles and slapped my hands over my ears.

"Hmm… no," Robin said, grinning coldly as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Dos Fleur… Grab."

What happened next… there are no appropriate onomatopoeia to describe it. No stock sounds for the action itself, nor any appropriate simile for the expression of noise Franky belted out as a result.

But still, I didn't need to describe the noises of the… the crime against man going on behind me to feel a throbbing pain in a place that should never hurt so bad.

"…OK, now I'm legitimately scared of her," Zoro muttered.

"US TOO!" four of our five guards yelped fearfully.

"SOMEONE SNAP A PICTURE!" laughed the fifth.

"Hell, I don't even HAVE THE GEAR AND I'M HURTING!" Soundbite groaned.

"I AGREED TO BE A MERC WEAPON TO AVOID THIS EXACT SITUATION!" Lassoo yipped as he scrambled for cover.

"Ah! Robin, we still want him to be a man when he joins us!" Luffy protested.

"Oh, don't worry about that," Robin reassured him with a far-too-pleasant smile. "Even if they do happen to detach, I'm certain that Chopper could reattach them."

"FRANKY!" Chopper screamed as he snapped into his Heavy Point. "HURRY THE HELL UP AND GIVE IN ALREADY! I HAVEN'T HAD TO TOUCH ANYONE'S SHAME IN MY ENTIRE TIME AS A DOCTOR, AND I DON'T WANT TO START NOW IF I CAN HELP IT!"

"I… I can't…" Franky gurgled around the mouthful of foam he was choking on. "I… I have to stay here… I really… wouldn't mind going with you, but… I can't be your shipwright… I gave that up a long time ago… this ship… the Thousand Sunny, was it? It's the last… I'll ever make… the best ship the world over… that means my dream is fulfilled, so—!"

"So what, ye damned scrap-lubber!?" Merry barked back, slipping into her buccaneer drawl in the process. "Don't ya realize yer only thinking of yerself, ya darned fool!? If ye really care about Sunny so much, then ye'd think about his feelings too! 'Cause where shipwrights be concerned, the only lubber he wants working on him be ye, ye cola-addled buffoon!"

"I… but I… that's…" Franky shook his head frantically as he worked his way to his feet.

"Franky."

The cyborg snapped his head around at his fellow apprentice. "I-Iceburg?"

"I just have to ask you," Iceburg said, dry as the deserts of Alabasta. "Do you think for even a second that Tom ever blamed you for what happened that day? Do you think that I ever blamed you?"

"You blamed me for a lot of shit, Ice-for-Brains!" Franky snapped.

"Don't change the subject, Flunky," Iceburg snapped right back. "My point is that after all this time, after all you've done for this city and these people, the only person who blames you, who would ever blame you for what happened, is you and you alone! That's why you're chaining yourself here, why you're refusing to go live your dream! When in fact—!" Iceburg choked off slightly before looking away with a sigh. "You should have forgiven yourself a long time ago."

"I… that… AGH!" Franky hunched over with a sudden cry. "It hurts… it hurts!"

"AND IT'S GONNA KEEP HURTING UNTIL YOU GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!"

Franky popped his head up with a confused blink. "Say wha—?"

THWUMP!

"GAH!" Franky yelped when he was suddenly bowled over by a duffel-bag that was half his weight. "The hell—!? My go-bag? Where'd this come from?"

"FROM US, BIG BRO!"

He snapped his gaze up to the broken bridge to the city, where the Franky Family was out en masse and watching him tearfully.

"YOU… YOU BASTARDS!" Franky raged as he shook his fists. "STEALING MY SPEEDO!? KICKING ME OUT OF MY OWN DAMN HOUSE?! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, YOU'RE ALL IN FOR A WORLD OF HURT!"

"WE'VE ALL HEARD THOSE WORDS BEFORE, BIG BRO!" Zambai hollered back. "WE'VE ALL SAID THEM BEFORE, EACH OF US, WHEN YOU TOOK US IN! WHEN YOU DRAGGED US IN OUT OF THE COLD AND FORCED US TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER! WE ALL KICKED AND SCREAMED AND FOUGHT, BUT YOU DID IT ANYWAY! AND NOW…" Zambai hastily wiped away his tears so that he could roar in full. "NOW, NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT HURTS, WE'RE DOING THIS FOR YOU, BIG BRO! SO THAT YOU CAN BE HAPPY TOO!"

Franky trembled as he stared up at them, mouth agape. Then, without warning, he keeled over again, squirming on the ground and howling like a wounded animal. "OWOWOW, IT HUUUURTS!"

I spared a glance at Robin to confirm that she was leaning against the railing with a contented smile. "So," I deadpanned. "How long did you hold him?"

"Just one squeeze," she chuckled. "And it wasn't even that hard. He's quite the actor. Although…" She tapped her chin as she glanced upward "I suppose he could be sensitive due to his size. Tell me, do they get more or less sensitive the—?"

"NOT HEARING THIS!" I cried, slapping my hands over my ears.

"IT HURTS! IT HURTS SO MUUUUCH!"

That, however, I did hear, and I turned around to catch sight of Franky pounding the ground in frustration. "But… But if I'm gone…" he wailed. "What… What'll happen to you?!"

"We'll be fine, Big Bro!" Kiwi cried tearfully. "You helped us all get stronger, remember!?"

"We can take care of ourselves!" Mozu sobbed. "We'll miss you, and it'll hurt… but we'll survive, just like you taught us!"

And it wasn't just those two, either.

"We'll miss you, Big Bro! Be safe!"

"We'll always be your family! You'll always have a load of little bros cheering for you, all the way!"

"Stick it to those World Government bastards, right where it hurts!"

"PUT THE DAMN SPEEDO ON, YOU EXHIBITIONIST PERVERT!"

"You… You bastards…" Franky shook his head in despair. "It hurts… it hurts…"

I smiled endearingly as I leaned on the railing to get a better view "Ahhh… I could watch this forever…"

"MAYDAY, MAYDAY! THE UNION SAYS THAT WE'VE GOT MARINES INCOMING! AND THEY'RE PACKING BACKUP!"

"Or not…" I sighed, hanging my head, before flinching back when most of my crew shot glares at me. "I'd hoped that we'd saved enough time to be out of here by now, sue me! And, ah, lemme guess." I glanced at my snail. "Aokiji's on his ship too?"

"NOT EVEN CLOSE!" Soundbite choked on his own tongue. "Wrong rank and number!"

My blood ran cold as I connected the dots. "Vice Admirals?" I whispered hoarsely.

Soundbite slowly turned his shivering eyes on me. "A HALF-DOZEN PACKING BATTLESHIPS, to be specific."

"FRANKY, GET YOUR NAKED ASS ON THIS TUB RIGHT NOW BEFORE WE ALL GET AN UP-CLOSE AND PERSONAL MEETING WITH DAVY-FREAKING-JONES!" I howled frantically.

Everyone hastily began moving to their own assigned positions. Luffy, of course, threw Franky his speedo, and after a moment of hesitation, the cyborg snatched it out of the air.

"What the hell!" the iron perv laughed. "If you're all kicking me in the ass so hard, I might as well go with it! ALRIGHT! MOVE THE HELL OVER, STRAW HATS, 'CAUSE YOU'VE JUST GOTTEN YOURSELVES A SUPER SHIPWRIGHT!"

All of us spared enough time to briefly celebrate at said shipwright finally managing to get over himself, but when he began a slow and very dramatic walk, I shot a glare and spun my finger at my captain. He pouted a bit, but nevertheless, ten seconds later we had a very stunned and even more naked Franky lying face-down in the grass.

"Say your long-winded and snot-filled farewells on the SBS on your own damn time, numb-nuts!" I ordered. "Because unless we get out of here yesterday, we're going to test Adam Wood against a certain Hero's Meteor Fist! And my bet ain't on the wood!"

"Tch, heartless sonnuva—! BAH, FINE!" Franky promptly snapped up into one of his many poses. "LET'S BLOW THIS POPSICLE STAND!"

"AGREED!" the Kiddy Trio and TDWS concurred as they mirrored his poses.

"I resent that!" Iceburg called up casually.

SLAM!

"AND I RESENT THAT THIS PERVERT STILL HASN'T COVERED UP YET!" Vivi raged as she stood above the suddenly downed cyborg, both her fist and his newly acquired lump smoking profusely. "PUT 'EM ON BEFORE I WELD THEM ON!"

Two seconds later found him hastily struggling to work his way into his speedo. "And she needs will-powered cheating to make people do what she wants, why?" he grumbled.

"Because fate loves fucking with us, that's why!" I answer. "Anyway, you can complain and call it the bullshit that it is later, but right now, we need to get the hell out of here!"

"On it!" Merry cried, hitching a rope ride to the helm, hopping onto a footstool that she got to rise in front of the wheel and grabbing hold of the spokes. "Nami! The log!"

Nami didn't even hesitate to snap her wrist up to her eyeline. "We've been set for the past two days! Turn the prow 68° starboard, north-northwest!"

"Turning the prow 68° starboard, north-northwest!" Merry parroted as she spun the helm appropriately. Then, without missing a beat, she pulled a pair of levers, spun a few winches, and brushed a couple of switches. The result was immediate and impressive: sails dropped down, the twin anchors raised, the rigging adjusted itself, the ship itself turned to face the open sea; In less than ten seconds, Merry had singlehandedly accomplished work that previously took six or more of the crew, and the ship was underway.

I shot a heady grin at Soundbite as the Sunny started to turn. "We have our heading…" I whispered energetically, already starting to feel my blood buzz beneath my skin as we finally-finally-finally returned to the roaring high seas, better than ever.

"Heeheeheehohoho, yea—ERK!" Soundbite suddenly choked and spun his eyes a full 180. "AHHH… NOW WE ONLY HAVE TO SURVIVE LONG ENOUGH to actually follow it."

Dreading what I was going to find, I jogged over to the railing, leaned over the edge, and caught sight of the better (or worse, from our perspective) half of a Buster Call rounding the edge of Water 7.

"Hooo, now that's not a sight I was looking forward to seeing again any time soon…" I breathed.

"—three, four, five, SIX!" Usopp shouted from where he'd clambered up into the rigging. "WE'VE GOT SIX BATTLESHIPS INCOMING, AND EACH OF THEM HAS A VICE ADMIRAL ON THE DECK! And is that… grk!" Usopp choked and flinched fearfully. "THE GUY LEADING IT IS YOUR GRANDPA, LUFFY!"

"WHAT!?" Luffy screamed in panic, instantly shooting over to my side and nearly bowling me over the edge in the process. "Oh-crap-oh-crap-oh-crap—!"

"Luffy, please—Oh screw it, Luffy, calm down!" Vivi ordered. Her eye then twitched when she was summarily ignored. "For the love of—! Shut up, Luffy!" The princess sighed in relief as our captain's tongue was suddenly glued to the roof of his mouth. "Better. Now, please calm down, Luffy. I realize that your Grandfather is a scary… a very, very, very scary man, but he's still your family! How bad could it possibly be?"

"Going by how the old bulldog looks like he's about to pop a vein or ten?" Mikey called down from where he was hanging upside-down in the rigging by his tail, staring through a pair of binoculars he'd snatched up. "I'd say pretty damn bad!"

Vivi's gaze fell flat as Luffy started running around like a headless chicken again. "Raphey."

Mikey looked up (down) from his binoculars with a confused blink. "Wait, wha—?"

SWISH! THUMP!

"GWAH!" Mikey yelped when the rope he was hanging from suddenly split and dropped him onto a wooden part of the deck.

"Don't be an idiot, dipshit!" Raphey snickered as she reaffixed her oversized shuriken on her back.

THWACK!

"YEOW!" the pink-bandana'd dugong flinched as a pulley swung down and cracked her upside her skull.

"DON'T HURT BIG BRO SUNNY, DIPSHIT!" Merry roared from the helm.

I turned my gaze away from the crew scrambling around and getting Sunny ready for his maiden voyage and turned back towards the Blue Curtain of Justice that had taken up a portion of the horizon. After a moment's watching, I blinked as I realized that I could just barely make out a figure I'm 95% sure was Garp, judging by the white and the… wild gesticulating? Wait…

"Hey, how come the old coot isn't using his megaphone?" I asked no one in particular.

Soundbite responded by somehow popping a vein on his shell. "He's assuming that I'LL HANDLE THAT MYSELF. WHICH ISN'T FUCKING HAPPENING, BY THE BY!" The last phrase was bellowed for all to hear.

I nodded, and frowned at the snail. "And… are all of them wearing ear protection?"

"Ah…" Soundbite blinked in confusion. "The lesser ranks are, but the Vice Admirals aren't? And they're not reacting to my BLASTING THEIR EARDRUMS FOR SOME REASON?"

I rolled my eyes with an exasperated tsk. "Haki, ever and always such bullshit. But hey, he wants to sling shit?" I smirked as I dove my hand into my bag. "Then I'll damn well sling. Ladies and gentlemen, sorry to be so abrupt, but the fact of the matter is that I'm assuming that by now most everyone manages to pick up on the first ring." My grin wavered slightly. "Aaand our situation is just a tad desperate right now, so we're starting straight out the gate. And speaking of starting! My name is Jeremiah Cross, and it's time—!"

"—EVEN THINK ABOUT STARTING THE SBS, I'LL TWIST YOUR HEAD CLEAN OFF YOUR SCRAWNY NECK!"

My eyes twitched. Repeatedly. "So. It's not enough that people stop me from starting the SBS on purpose, but they have to do it by accident, too."

"I DON'T CARE IF THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT, that bastard cut me off!" Soundbite snarled. "I'LL SUE YOU, OLD MAN!"

"JUST TRY IT, SNAIL! I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT RIGHT BEFORE THEY PUT YOUR SLIMY ASS DOWN!"

"SAY THAT TO MY FACE, YOU SENILE SONNUVA BITCH!" I roared, balancing on the railing as a number of hands shot out of the woodwork and held me in order to keep me from overbalancing. "I'LL PUNT THE TAPIOCA OUT OF YOU, AND MAKE SURE YOU CAN'T SIT DOWN FOR BINGO FOR WEEKS!"

A tense silence fell for a few moments. Then…

"…Right, screw it. Luffy, you're all gonna die here at sea. I'd say sorry, but where your third mate is concerned, I'm pretty sure I'm doing the world a favor. GET ME MY METEORS!"

I returned everyone's blazing glares with a flat stare. "The hell are you all getting pissy for? He was gonna do this either way, I just cut through the senile jibber-jabber. 'Sides, you all heard him! He threatened Soundbite!"

The glaring exchanged looks for a few seconds, and ultimately, they decided to let it drop. "So, now what?" Boss asked.

"Now he's going to try sinking the ship using the Monkey family special: sheer brute force."

"Meaning…?" Sanji trailed off uncomfortably.

"Meaning duck and freaking cover!" Funkfreed trumpeted, stabbing his trunk into the soil and snapping into his blade-point.

We all had a bare moment to brace for impact—

KA-BLAM!

When a section of Scrap Island's coast suddenly detonated and sent us a-rocking.

Conis slowly slat up with a dazed and terrified look in her eyes. "And he caused that by throwing the cannonball!? But-But that's impossible!"

"Which is something that adolescent Conis can confirm!" Su chuckled.

"Yeah, well, if you want my opinion?" I groused before sticking my head over Sunny's railing. "HEY GARP! YOU THROW LIKE BRETT FAVRE, AND TRUST ME, THAT'S NOT A—GAH!"

"SHUT! THE! HELL! UP! AND! STOP! TRYING! TO! GET! US! ALL! KILLED!" Vivi raged as she wrung my neck and repeatedly bounced my head off the lawn. Good news, though: the grass made the impacts softer! Didn't stop the oxygen deficit, though.

"You seem to have officially exhausted your daily limit for provoking people who could kill you with one finger, Cross," Robin chuckled morbidly as she leaned over me.

"Grggkh…" I choked out in response as I tried to pry the snapped-Princess off of my neck.

"Uhh… guys?" Zoro spoke up with honest curiosity. "Does anyone have an explanation as to how or why the old-timer gave his ship an afro?

"WHAT?!" Boss exclaimed, he and the TDWS snapping their attention towards the ship. He stared for a moment before sagging. "Oh, that's a let-down, that's just a giant cannonba—HOLY SEBEK THAT'S A GIANT CANNONBALL!"

"Grgh-r-ri-GRK! Vivi! Off!"

A wordless snarl was my only response, and then Eisen cloud wrapped around her waist and Nami herself went for her fingers.

"Down, girl," Nami said soothingly as she slowly pried the digits out of my throat. "Save it for when he gets really bad."

It took one more shake, but the princess finally released her grip on me. "This is not over," she swore testily.

I shuddered at the promise before snapping my attention over towards the prow. "Merry, Franky, fire up the—! Ahhh, wait a sec!" I snapped my attention back to my mic. "Sorry, viewers, I'm going to have to take a break here. The SBS will return in a few minutes!"

So saying, I placed the mic on the cradle, to much confusion and surprise, which I responded to with a simple smirk. "What? This isn't the first time I've shown that I'm smart enough to not blow our secret weapons to everyone. Now, I'd suggest that all of you hang onto your everything, because you're about to experience the first of many, many utterly amazing and unique talents that the Thousand Sunny has to offer."

"Ah, yeah, speaking of which," Franky paused mid-stride. "Is that name set in stone? Because if not, I've got a—!"

"Move yer bleedin' arse, ye iron arse-brain!" Merry barked.

"Right!" Franky yelped, hastily ducking under the deck.

"TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY, DAMMIT!" Garp shouted as he threw the… uh… wow, Oda's art didn't really capture the scale, did it? Swear to God, in that moment it looked as big as the moon.

And it was… getting…

"ANYTIME NOW, GUYS!" Soundbite hollered.

"AS CROSS SAID, HANG ON TO YOUR EVERYTHING!" Franky's voice yelled out from belowdecks. "BUT MOST OF ALL!? HANG ONTO YOUR UNDERWEAR! COUP DE…"

"CAPTAIN! Do the thing I had you do at Navarone, hurry!" I said hastily.

"Eh?" Luffy glanced at me before grinning massively. "Oh, right, that! Soundbite?"

"YOU'RE good!"

"HEY, GRAMPS! OTHER MARINES!" Luffy laughed back at the rest of the fleet pursuing us. "YOU GUYS'LL ALWAYS REMEMBER THIS AS THE DAY YOU ALMOST CAUGHT MONKEY D. LUFFY—"

"BURST!"

"AND THE STRAW HAT PIRA—"

BOOM!

"—AAAAAHAHAHAHAAAA!"

"PFHAHAHAHAAAAAA!" I whooped eagerly as I hung onto the lawn for dear life. And honestly, that was all I could do. Because then and there? The wind whipping past us, the very clouds streaming around and over our ship… there was only one word for it all. "WE'RE FLYING AGAIN! WOOHOOHOOHOO! THIS IS AWESOME!"

"BEST! SHIP! EVER!" Luffy laughed.

"YOU KNOW IT, CAPTAIN!" Merry cheered, hanging on to the helm like a small and overly-eager flag.

"I definitely like it!" Zoro said, cackling into the wind. "He's got spirit, lots of it!"

"Of course he does, that's how I built him!" Franky replied from his control rom.

"TO GO THIS FAR, THIS FAST, ALL AT ONCE!?" Boss puffed his chest with pride as he stood upon the railing. "SO MANY WORDS… BUT AT THEIR CORE, TRULY!" He leapt up- "A MAN'S RO—GWAH!" He winced as he was pancaked into a wall by the air pressure. "…unwise, but still. A MAN'S ROMANCE!"

"GO, BOSS, GO!" The TDWS concurred.

Everyone else, well… it was a mix of relief, awe, and excitement, to varying levels.

I looked around at the sea zipping past us before flinging my head back with a laugh.

"PFHAHAHA! IN CASE I HAVEN'T SAID IT ENOUGH?" I shouted into the wind. "I SERIOUSLY LOVE THIS CREW!"

-o-

Most of the Marines assembled at Water 7 spent the moment gaping after the sight of the Straw Hat Pirates escaping them by flying. One or two of the Vice Admirals were grumbling about not seeing it coming after Enies, and as for Garp himself?

"…tsk. Shiki did it better," he muttered, unable to stop a proud grin coming over his face. "But I shouldn't have expected anything less from my grandson."

"Fleet Admiral Sengoku is not going to be happy about this, Garp," reported Vice Admiral Dalmatian from nearby. "So unless you'd like to experience his recently shortened temper for yourself, I recommend that we take some initiative while we're here and handle the seceded nation of Water 7."

Garp's grin faded, and he scoffed as he side-eyed the Vice Admiral across ships. "Yeah, great idea, kibble-breath. Only one nice big hulking problem with it."

"And that would be?" Dalmatian snorted, wisely deciding to not argue with the Hero of the Marines concerning his nicknaming practices.

Said hero picked his nose with his pinky as he jabbed his thumb over his shoulder. "The question of what army we'd use. Ya know, against theirs?"

Attention turned away from the speck that the Straw Hats' fleeing ship had become over towards the island of Water 7.

More specifically? Towards the hodge-podge armada that had boiled out from the island's many docks and piers. Nearly a dozen ships the size of their own battleships formed the center, from three gargantuan grain haulers with holes cut in their sides to the four-deck, purpose built Royal Charles originally intended as a vanity project by a South Blue kingdom. All bristled with enough cannons to make even the turret crews nervous.

Flanking this force on all sides were smaller ships of all sizes ranging from race-built frigates to rowboats with a single gun sticking out over the bow. And at the front was the oddest collection of contraptions any of the officers save Garp had ever seen. A tin can on a smoking raft, gleaming in the sunlight and two wide muzzles poking out. Flat barges lugging squat, rounded mortars or organ-like rocket launchers. One small schooner carrying a gun longer than the ship itself. Another that appeared to be entirely inflatable. A third with three odd tubes sticking out of the foredeck.

Hell, there was even an entirely circular ship wobbling to and fro on the water with a pair of cannons stuck on almost as an afterthought.

And those were just the guns on the boats. Scrap Island, meanwhile, was suddenly bristling like an angry metal porcupine with stray cannon muzzles.

"Ahem, excuse me?"

All attention turned to the middle of Scrap Island, where Mayor Iceburg had a megaphone raised and the best shipwrights on the island beside him. While they were staring down the battleships with narrowed eyes, Iceburg was content with a relaxed smile.

"Attention, Marines," he called over. "You are currently in restricted waters. Kindly vacate the premises at your earliest convenience. Should you fail to vacate, well…"

B-B-BOOM!

The Marines jumped as a half-dozen explosions sounded out across the local waters, sending up plumes of water dangerously close to what the crews of each battleship knew to be the weakest parts of their hulls.

"I cannot promise your safety. After all…" Iceburg tilted his head just a tad to the side. "There could be any manner of accidents if you get too close to shipwrights' working areas."

While the rest of the Vice Admirals blustered and stiffened, Garp regarded Iceburg for a minute or so before heaving a sigh when, just for a moment, he saw a flash of one of the largest (and most yellow) fishmen he'd ever met. "Generation xeroxing left and right… when the hell am I going to get my clone in another body, eh?"

"Ah, Vice Admiral, sir?"

Garp glanced over his shoulder at Coby, who was holding a salute with an ill-hidden grin. "Your orders, Vice Admiral?" he requested.

Garp stared at him for a second longer before shooting a smirk dead ahead, rubbing a finger under his nose. "Asked and answered… Coby!"

"Sir!"

"Spread the word to reverse course and make for the Tub Current. We came here for the Straw Hats and we failed. Someone else will handle Water 7. For now?" Garp spun on his heel and marched towards the raised superstructure of his ship. "We're headed home."

-o-

After the rush of the Sunny's first Coup de Burst wore off—a Coup de Burst that apparently took five barrels of Cola due to the increased size of the ship—the entire crew stood on the deck as I restarted the SBS.

"He-llo, everybody, and welcome back to the SBS broadcast, episode 4-9-3!" Soundbite cheered in a British accent.

"…I'm sorry, what?" I questioned, too puzzled by the oddity of the snail's statement to be upset about him stealing my line. "I don't think we've even had one hundred broadcasts yet."

"EH, two references in one. 493 IS THE END of generation four, SINCE THIS IS THE END OF THE FOURTH LEG!"

I thought about that, and nodded. "Alright, that makes sense. And the second?"

"More obscure reference to a sponsor."

"Sponsor?" I blinked in confusion. "We don't have sponsors."

"Eh?" Soundbite blinked right back. "No duh we DON'T HAVE SPONSORS, THE HELL ARE YOU—?!"

"MOVING ON!" I barked hastily as I pegged onto what had just happened. "As you'll recall, we last left off while escaping from our Marine pursuers, through means which we will not be disclosing." I grinned cheekily. "Need to keep some surprises in reserve, dontcha know? And now that we have a moment of peace, it's time for us to properly celebrate the result of our journey. As such, I gracefully cede the mic to our captain, who is about to propose a toast."

"RIGHT!" Luffy grinned, raising his mug. "I remember how to do this from Shanks! Ah, let's see… To the safe return of Robin!"

Robin smiled politely as she knocked her frothing mug with mine.

"To the new life of Merry!"

"LET'S GET KEEL-FACED!" the ship-girl roared as she raised her pair of extra-large mugs. Apparently, a benefit of being only partially human was an insanely high tolerance for alcohol.

"And to our newest crewmates: Franky—"

"The SUPER! shipwright of the Straw Hats!" said cyborg bellowed, doing his usual pose.

"—and our new ship, the Thousand Sunny!" Luffy finished.

A gust of wind hit us at just the right angle to elicit a roar from Sunny.

"He just said 'bring it on!'" Merry provided.

All present (with the necessary appendages) raised their mugs alongside Luffy as he raised his own.

"EVERYONE!" Luffy cheered. "HERE'S TO THE NEXT ISLAND! AND TO ALL OUR ADVENTURES TO COME! KANPAI!"

"KANPAI!" we cheered in unison.

"And here's to us actually getting to relax a little in the meantime," I whispered to Robin under my breath, getting a giggle in response.

-o-

As the SBS went on, the old man didn't bother hiding an earsplitting grin, nor did he attempt to stop the tears of joy that streamed down his face.

"You kids are something else," Mekao whispered. "To see a Klabautermann is rare in itself. To speak to one is even more mythical. But to have loved your ship that much… so much that your new one is part of your family from the day of its birth…"

Mekao shook his head and turned back to his fellow shipwrights. Eight days ago, no matter how much he spoke about the right way to treat ships, they had always shrugged it off with amusement. Now there wasn't a single soldier among them who didn't hang onto Mekao's every word.

The grin on his face was starting to hurt as he raised his bottle. "This is legitimate cause for celebration! To the crew who truly loves their ship, who truly loves them in return! To the crew who has reawakened the world's understanding of how to take care of their seacrafts! To the Straw Hat Pirates: may their impossible works never cease!"

"Kanpai!" the soldiers shouted in agreement before knocking their drinks back with him.

-3 Weeks Later-

"Mayor Iceburg!"

The mayor looked up from the blueprints that he had been perfecting and poring over for almost a month now, staring up with a curious frown at the one who had called him. "What is it, Oimo?"

"We just got word from our bosses! They'll be arriving here in an hour or two."

An ear-to-ear grin stretched Iceburg's face. "Excellent. Gather everyone together, I'll want to make my proposal straightaway. Oh, and can you handle the blueprints?"

Oimo guffawed as he took the pages from Iceburg and left, planning to gather the few other giants who had arrived at the island before the Ogres. Iceburg, at the same time, began gathering together every last member of the Galley-La Company for what was easily the biggest, hardest, and most rewarding project that they would ever undertake.

-o-

Naturally, the two ogres had parked their palm-log raft at the small plain where pirates had usually docked. After all, that was where the best ale could be had. Or, well, something similar to ale.

"This 'beer' is interesting," Dorry rumbled, taking a sip from the barrel he was holding. "The 'hops' give it a faint bitter tone that works surprisingly well."

"Bah!" Broggy scoffed, rolling his own barrel back over to Dorry and grabbing a different one. "Give me regular ale any day of the week, rather than that horse piss you're drinking."

"Horse piss?" Dorry repeated, shooting a glare at his long-time rival and partner. "Care to say that again?"

"Of course I—" Broggy began, only for a loud cough to catch their attention. Both of them glanced down to Iceburg lower his fist from his mouth and shoot a flat stare at the both of them.

"I think I speak for a lot of people when I say we'd rather you don't get in another century-long honor duel," he blandly stated.

Both giants had the good grace to look sheepish at that. "Ah, Oimo told us you had a proposal for a ship for the new Giant Warrior Pirates?" Dorry said, faintly flushed in embarrassment.

"I do," Iceburg stated. "For your payment as well, seeing as you undoubtedly don't have any coffers left either."

"Damn looters raiding all our gold stashes…" Dorry spat to the side.

"Damn rats eating the rest…" Broggy concurred before casting a grateful gaze at Iceburg. "We'll take whatever charity you can offer us, Mayor Iceburg."

"Trust me, this isn't charity," Iceburg assured him. "Though before we begin, I'd prefer to wait until Oimo returns with the blueprints—"

As if on cue, Oimo and Kashi picked that moment to land on the plain from where they'd jumped off the city walls, quickly jogging up to where their captains were.

"Mayor, I brought the blueprints!" Oimo eagerly reported.

"And I convinced the rest of the giants not to go starry-eyed until after we complete our business!" Kashi added.

"Thank you both," Iceburg said. "Now we can begin. I assume that you are all familiar with our plight where Aqua Laguna is concerned?"

"Of course," Dorry nodded sadly. "We knew this city many generations ago. You've managed to improve it over the years, but…"

"A lot of good bars and districts have sunken beneath the waves…" Broggy sighed remorsefully. "It's really a sad thing."

"Oimo, the blueprints, please."

The giant grinned, and produced the giant-sized pile of design papers that he and Kashi had helped draw for his two captains to look over. And despite them not having much expertise in the way of shipbuilding, they understood what they were looking at in an instant. And their jaws subsequently dropped.

"Converting an island… into a ship…" Dorry breathed.

"Pretty ballsy, huh, bosses?" Kashi chuckled.

"Pretty nutty, I'll say!" Broggy shot back. "And hell, even if it does work out, there's still the issue of time and resources! This is gonna cost ten different kinds of bundles, and you'll be long dead before this is ever completed!"

"And, normally, I'd be alright with that," Iceburg nodded in concession. "But in recent weeks… I've become aware of an alternative. An alternative that will save us, in your own words, 'ten different kinds of bundles.'"

"Oh, yeah?" Dorry cocked an eyebrow. "What?"

"Not what, Boss, who!" Oimo corrected.

"And by who, he means us!" Kashi nodded.

The Giant Warrior Captains exchanged confused glances before looking back at their subordinates. "Come again?"

"Over the course of the past few weeks, your men have been helping us repair the devastation that CP9 left in their wake." Iceburg explained. "The damage was extensive, and normally would have required months to repair in full, but thanks to the aid of but two giants, capable of doing the work of at least a hundred men apiece on an incredible scale, Water 7 is already back on its feet in a fraction of the estimated time."

"Hrm…" Dorry scratched his chin thoughtfully. "And that was with the aid of only two giants… and seeing as we'll be gathering our crew both new and old here…"

"So, basically," Broggy picked up. "You're saying that you'll let us work off our debt by helping you renovate the city, is that it?"

"That's part of it, but not all of it," Iceburg replied. "You see, now that we've seceded from the World Government, we're going to be in constant danger from pirates and the world government alike. Our civilians are used to leading… interesting lives, comes from living in the Grand Line, but they still have their limits. Hence, protection will be an ever-present issue, even with all of the shipwrights on the island cooperating, and then there will be the issue of properly crewing a vessel the size of Water 7… as you can see, there are a host of issues."

"Issues that could be solved, once again, by the involvement of giants," Broggy nodded slowly.

"So, we lend you our crew to crew this island, you build us our ship?" Dorry guessed.

"Something like that…" Iceburg nodded slowly, before donning a confident grin. "Only on a more permanent and, shall we say, mutually beneficial set of terms."

It took a full minute after the mayor finished, but the realization struck like thunder when it hit.

"…So, you're asking us not only have our crew help convert this entire island into a ship…" Dorry began.

"But then to use Water 7 as our pirate ship?" Broggy finished.

"In broad strokes, with many finer details to be hammered out, most important of all the safety of our civilians over the course of your adventures… but in essence, yes," Iceburg responded. "So, do we have a deal?"

The giants exchanged looks. There was silence. More silence. And then it broke.

"GEGYAGYAGYAGYAGYAGYAGYAGYAGYA!/GABABABABABABABABABABABABA!"

"Dorry!" Broggy managed to get out as he clapped a hand on his friend's back hard enough to cause tremors. "I'm currently of the opinion that in our absence, the world has gone completely insane! GABABABABA!"

"I agree completely, Broggy!" Dorry guffawed just as uproariously, clutching his gut as he shook. "And I'm currently of the opinion that I love it! GEYAGYAGYAGYA!"

"I'll take that as a resounding 'hell yes'," Iceburg chuckled as he removed a flask from his back pocket and raised it in a toast. "Very well, then! Let us drink to our newly minted arrangement!"

"To the Giant Warrior's future ship, the Water 7!" Dorry swiftly raised his own giga-sized bottle.

"And to the ones who even made this arrangement possible to begin with, the Straw Hat PIrates!" Broggy finished with his own bottle. "May they enjoy equally good fortune in their adventures, wherever they might be!"

-o-

"You have got to be fucking kidding me…" I growled acridly, balancing my chin on my fists. The reason for my foul mood was the sub-zero ice pit that not only I, but the majority of my crewmates, found ourselves in.

"Captured, after how far we've come," I spat. "By a bunch of two-bit, half-rate, half-wit filler villains. This. Is. Bullshit."

"You seem… unhappy," Conis deduced from where she was sitting across the cell.

"Of course I'm unhappy!" I snapped, throwing my arms up in the air. "I mean, at least this isn't Rain Dinners all over again—"

"We beg to differ!" Nami and Zoro bellowed from where they were hanging from their ankles by a pair of frosted-over chains, their arms secured behind their backs.

"But I'm still pissed that we got tricked in here!"

"You mean you're upset at yourself for not seeing this coming," Usopp retorted, his chin on his own fists as well.

I pursed my lips and lowered my hands. "Well, you're not wrong…" I snapped my head up with a growl as I slammed my fist into the frozen wall. "But I'm not entirely at fault, either! This bit was called the 'Ice Hunter' arc for a reason: the Accino family controls this entire iceberg field. I only ever saw a fraction of their playbook, and they were way more on the ball than I thought was possible! Plus…" I shook my head darkly. "They were, to reiterate, filler villains. By the time I remembered that they were going to be gunning for our Jolly Roger or that the Phoenix Pirates were under their heel, it was too late!"

"Sounds like a bunch of excuses to me," Sanji drawled as he took a drag from his cigarette.

"Oh, fuck off, lover boy!" I snapped. "I didn't see you Diable Jambe-ing that ice-skating skank when you had the chance!"

Despite the cold, Sanji's last cigarette still ashed in an instant. "Why, you—!" He tried to leap at me, but he was yanked up short by the leg-irons he was sporting.

"Well, least there's a bright side," Franky piped up as he idly shifted around in the mass of chains he was all but mummified in.

"What possible bright side could there be in this case?" Nami twisted her head around so that she could properly glare at the cyborg.

"Well, Luffy's still out there, so—!"

"—a piece of meat! Oh, a piece of meat! Oh, a piece of meat!"

Soundbite and I slowly shared an uneasy glance as we heard Luffy's voice approaching above us. "Why do I feel like I've heard this bit before?" I asked in great trepidation.

THWAP!

I stared at the newly-cooked piece of meat that had just landed in the center of the pit before knocking the back of my head against the wall with a defeated sigh. "Look out above."

"Oh, a piece of mea—WHOA!"

THUMP!

I regarded our captain with a dry stare. "Hello, Luffy. What brings you here?"

"Hey, Cross!" Luffy responded as he munched down on the steak he'd dove down to get before glancing around at the rest of the crew in confusion. "I found a trail of meat leading into here from the cold! What're you doing here?"

"Getting mani-pedis at the Ice-Hole Holiday Inn," I snarked. "What does it look like?"

"Like you all got captured," Luffy nodded, before jerking in realization. "Ah! You're all captured!"

"Quaaa…" Carue drawled in tired resignation.

"Well, don't worry!" Luffy nodded confidently as he started winding his arm up. "I'll get out of here real quick, and then I'm gonna—!"

CLANK!

"Hurl…" Luffy collapsed to his knees with a groan.

"Yet another perfect slapshot, Hockera! Well done!" a boisterous voice guffawed from on high.

"It's all in the wrist, Campacino, all in the wrist!"

I glared up at our captors for a second before eyeing the new collar my captain was sporting. "Well, perfect, now we're seven for seven on incapacitated ability-users."

"Mrph…" Soundbite mumbled murderously around the metal muzzle he was sporting.

"Trust us, Cross…" Robin groaned from the corner of the cell she was sitting in, her hat angled over her eyes. "This isn't pleasant for us either."

"They must have custom-made these things to have higher seastone-to-steel ratios than normal…" Chopper wheezed, splayed helplessly out on his stomach. "It feels like we're all dunked in the ocean… Heck…" He waved his hoof at the chained up gun and sword in the pit. "Lassoo and Funkfreed can't even change back from their weapon forms…"

"Gonna… kill… these… bastards… for… touching… Sunny's… flag…" Merry grit out as she clawed at the walls, trying and failing to climb up the slick surface.

"Though… willpower seems to make the effects vary…" Chopper noted dryly.

"Maybe if I… no, but that's… perhaps… what if… no no no…"

"Su?" Su cocked her eyebrow at the pacing princess.

"Ah, yes," Conis nodded swiftly. "Vivi, you seem… distracted?"

Vivi glanced up, and shook her head. "To make a long story short, according to Cross, Don Accino's Devil Fruit is most likely—!"

"Is the Rage of Alabasta, the Hot-Hot Fruit?" I deadpanned.

"Yes?"

"Then its user is definitely a ways away that way," I nodded, jabbing my finger upward.

"Right…" Vivi groaned, grinding her fingers into her temple. "And if that's true, it's extremely important that I speak to this Don Accino straight away, so that I can work something out! His powers are a national treasure back home, and if I could I'd invite him to go to Alabasta to join the royal guard…" She spread her arms in despair. "But the problem is my position! If I make the request now, while me and my friend's lives are on the line—!"

"Then it would look like all you're doing is speaking out of your ass in order to save your skin," I deduced grimacing. "Yeeeaaah, that's a problem."

"Worse than you'd think…" Vivi muttered, going back to her agitated pacing. "The Desert is lost to us until Crocodile one day dies, I'd never forgive myself if I let the Rage slip out of reach as well. And now…"

"Well… maybe you could make the offer to him while we're on our way out after we kick the Accino's collective asses?" I proposed. "After all, once that happens, they're gonna be up a creek without a base of operations."

"And how are we going to get out?" Vivi shook her head miserably. "After all, we're almost all locked up in here with no way out!"

I blinked at her in confusion before slapping a hand to my head with a chuckle. "Oh, right, you got here after me and Nami, I forgot. Nami, you mind—?"

"Yoo~hoo~," Nami sang, withdrawing her arms from behind her back and wiggling her fingers before hiding them again.

"The truth is that we can get out whenever we need to," I explained. "We're just waiting for the best moment to do it, is all. After all, things are… weird. I mean, look around." I spread my arms at the cell. "The Accinos are cocky and bastards, but they're also damn skilled and professional. With this much bounty money on the line, we should have been in a Marine brig from the word go. But instead, they're keeping us in here? Nah nah, something is up, though the question is what. So, for now, we wait. And besides…" I jabbed my thumb upwards. "We've still got one last ace in the hole, remember? The TDWS are still out there. Not sure what they're planning, but—!"

KNOCK-KNOCK!

A rapping sound drew my attention to Boss, who'd thus far been quiet as he sat in a seiza position. Once he had my attention, he held up a trio of 'fingers' on his flipper, then ticked one down… then a second… and then…

TH-TH-TH-THWUMP!

A quartet of bound, gagged and struggling dugongs were unceremoniously dumped into the center of the pit.

I blinked slowly at the groaning pile. "Huh… didn't see that coming. But… how? The TDWS might be students, but they're still pretty skilled. Who could have—?"

Boss responded to that by jabbing his flipper upward without even turning his head.

I followed his flipper, and blinked as I caught sight of what was standing at the lip of the ice pit's entrance. "Are those Fierce Penguins? But they're only fierce and strong in numbers, how could four of them—?

SLAP!

My words died in my throat as my brain seized up at what had just happened.

"Did… that penguin just high-five another penguin?" I asked weakly.

SLAP-SLAP-SLAP-SLAP-AP-SLAP!

My question was promptly answered by the penguins exchanging yet more high-fives, a veritable flurry of them…

SLAP!

That ended with one of them dope-slapping a, well, dopey-looking one.

A quartet of high-fiving penguins who'd just managed to kick the TDWS's ass…

I slowly turned my gaze on Soundbite. "Please say it ain't so…" I whimpered.

"Mmph-mph…" the snail smirked even behind his muzzle.

I silently stared at the snail before slowly standing up and turning to face the wall. "Well, if that's the case… It would seem like we've managed to guarantee at least one thing."

SMASH!

"This," I grit out through my rictus smile as I slammed my forehead against the ice over and over.

SMASH!

"Is going."

SMASH!

"To be fun."

Patient AN: Before anyone gets it in their heads to bite ours off for not telling you Cross' bounty, it's not out of trolling this time… or at least, not primarily. If I had my way, we would have just put it as ∞, but until we have the bounty of Dragon or one of the Four Emperors as a measuring stick, we can't put forth an exact number.

Hornet AN: And yes, Jack's and Cracker's bounties had a lot to do with that decision.

Xomniac AN: Maybe we'll spill the beans on what it is once we have the top bounty in the world, alongside the Emperor's… : 3 Then again, maybe not~

Patient AN: Updated note on September 26, 2019: we have now posted Cross's bounty.