Disclaimer: My favorite character is not mine, but J.K. Rowling's.

This is just something I thought of one day. My first fanfic so please review!

If you have not read HBP, then do not read this!


We are Hardest on Ourselves

I sit here and hide from the world

Because I am a heartless murderer

I have given up in this moment

Because my actions are tearing at my soul

Regret does not take a vacation from my mind

Regardless of the amount of whiskey I consume in order to drive it out

I am a heartless murderer who tells himself that his victim is resting

And is blissfully unaware of the destruction he has caused

Denial is not the answer, but then what is?

I am a murderer

The word does not seem so vile

Not so vile as killer or slaughterer or executioner

But it is all the same and it is what I am

I killed the man who loved me more than most,

Who gave me more kindness than I deserved

I am a murderer

I should be killed

But I have to go on living with the knowledge

That his death was his last wish

I was not the only one who heard it, simply the only one who understood

His last wish was to die

Then I could do the right thing and help end this war

There were so many plans and things that had to be done

In the end, it would work out

I am a heartless murderer

And a fool that has failed

Nothing went as planned and nothing worked out

His death was completely pointless in the end

The Dark Lord won and so many lives were destroyed

Yet, here I am

Alive when I should have been the first to die

The anguish is unbearable

I am confined to a world inside my head

Haunted by my conscience

I am a heartless murderer

Who should suffer and face the consequences

I am the only one who can end my life

And end the sorrow rooted in my bones...

Avada Kedava!