Alrighty then...

A few minutes ago I was in a very good mood because I got TEN REVIEWS!!! ( ( ( I know that might seem like nothing to all the stories (Like Blind Date: HP Style and HP on FIRE... very good stories by the way.... Go read them. But read mine first.)

But now I am in a very bad mood because I wrote this whole chapter and my computer froze! So now I have to write it AGAIN!!! And now it will all messed up and stuff.

So these are the reasons you should review: This is the SECOND bloody time I've written this chapter. My cat is being mean. My cat will make your cat ((if you have a cat (if not, your dog, rat, parrot, goldfish, monkey, iguana, lion, shark, pet rock, etc.) if you don't have an animal, screw you (not really, I'm just in a bad mood...) )) be mean. ((I know, I'm soo threatening...I'll come up with a better threat for next week)) You are hopefully in a nice mood. It will make me be in a nice mood and then I'll go put nice reviews on your stories and write lots, lots more.

Oh yeah... and these are the things I don't own: 1984 Harry Potter The Lord of the Rings Pirates of the Caribbean Finding Nemo Austin Powers A Knight's Tale Ferris Bueller's Day Off The Wizard of Oz The Wiz The Matrix Mary Poppins The Sound of Music The Fantanas Anything for Dummies Mean Girls My Fair Lady 8 Mile American Idol Something's Got to Give

On with the show!

Chapter Seven ((my favourite number))

The nine ran out of the room and slammed the door behind them.

"That was a close one!" said Jack, panting.

"Did you see it?" asked Julia.

"I can't see anything. It's too dark in here," said Pippin.

"Lumos," muttered Julia.

"You're the cleverest witch of your age," said Pippin, in awe.

"Thank you," replied Julia.

"YOU ARE A WITCH!" said Winston.

"Yeah, I know." He looked at her with disbelief. "But you don't use your eyes, do you? Didn't any of you see what that dog was standing on?"

"Er...no."

"Fine. Then I'm not going to tell you! You'll just have to go back and look!"

"Are you crazy, Julia?"

"Yes. Now go."

And with that, the nine quickly made their way back to the room.

"You know how that saying goes..." said Pippin.

"How?"

"Don't let your head get to big for your hat. As the saying relevant to our situation goes: Curiosity killed the cat."

"Pip, we're not cats."

"Right you are..." said Pippin right as Julia gently pushed the door open.

"WOOF. WOOF."

"AHHHH! RUN!"

And the nine found themselves (yet again) outside the door, panting (apparently running two feet is quite exhausting).

"How do we get past it to see what it was standing on?" asked Sam.

"Why can't you just tell us, Julia?" asked Winston.

"Oh fine. It was standing on a trap door! It was obviously guarding something."

"How do we get past it to see what it's guarding?" asked Sam.

"Let's ask Hagrid!" said William. And the fellowship slowly made their way to his hut (which, for some reason, was on the other side of the Oracle's building). Austin was about to knock when Jack grabbed his wrist.

"Shh! Listen... there's more than one person in there," Jack said, putting his ear to the door.

He heard an older, English, male voice say, "Now Rubeus, repeat after me: The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain."

"The rayne 'n Spayne folls maynly on the playne," he replied.

"No, no, no! That isn't right at all. Practice tonight, Mr. Hagrid. I must transform you into a pompous Englishman! 'Tis my duty. Good night."

He pushed the door open, knocking Jack onto the ground. He walked away, seeming not to notice them at all. They walked in after he had left.

"Oh, 'ello!" said Hagrid cheerfully.

"Hi," said William.

"Tha' was 'Enry 'Iggins."

"Enry Iggins?" asked Frodo.

"Nice bloke, really... but kind of hopeless."

"Whatever. We have a question. You know that forbidden room over there?" He pointed to the other side of the Atrium. "What's in it?"

"Erm...nothing!" he said.

"Then what's that three-headed dog doing there?" piped up Sam.

"How'd you know 'bout Fluffy?" demanded Hagrid.

"Well, we obviously have been in there! How are people in movies always so clueless?"

Hagrid looked up at the sky and whistled, "Did you say somethin', Sam?"

"No..." he said exasperatedly.

"Well Fluffy's a nice dog. 'E's on'y misunderstood. All you do is play 'im a bit of music and he'll fall righ' asleep!"

"Great!" exclaimed the entire fellowship at once.

"Shoul'n't 'ave said that..." muttered Hagrid.

The nine ran off towards the forbidden room when Pippin asked, "Who's going to play music?"

"Ooo! Ooo! I know!" said Frodo. "We'll have a rap battle!"

"Yeah!" said the rest of the hobbit and Austin.

"Here we go..." said Julia, sitting down.

"First contestant," said Frodo, "Meriadoc Brandybuck!" A red 'Applause' sign lit up. William, Jack, Winston, and Julia applauded halfheartedly.

"Yo! Your style is generic.

Mines authentic made.

I roll like a renegade.

You need clinicaid.

My technique is bizarrenile.

I scar and kill.

You were a star until I served you like a bar and grill.

As I proceed to cook and grill ya.

That's all that took to kill ya."

"How is that relevant?" asked Julia, seeming annoyed.

"It's not."

"Next contestant," bellowed Frodo, "Peregrin Took!" The applause sign lit up with almost no applause (except from Austin).

"His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy ,

There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti,

He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready,

To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgettin',

What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud,

He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out,

He's chokin', how everybody's jokin' now,

The clock's run out, time's up over, blouww!"

"Is blouww even a word?" retorted Julia.

"What are you? Simon Cowell?"

"No. I'm Simon Cowell," said Simon as he walked out of thin air to an annoyed look from Jack who was halfway through Apparating for Dummies. "And these are Randy and Paula. I totally agree with Julia. It was dreadful."

"Thank you so much!"

"That was an insult."

"Oh."

Paula said, "Well, I didn't think it was that bad. Maybe tonight just isn't your night."

"Yeah, dawg," said Randy. "I wasn't feelin' that. I don't really think you were connecting with the audience."

"Oh. Well you don't know talent!" said Pippin with a tear, stomping off stage.

"And our next contestant," said Frodo, "Austin Powers!"

"Yeah, baby! Yeah!" he said, walking on the 'stage'. He began to rap, "I like big butts and I can not lie,

You other brothers can't deny,

That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waste,

And a round thing in your face,

You get sprung, wanna pull up tough,

'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed,

Deep in the jeans she's wearing,

I'm hooked and I can't stop staring,

Oh baby, I wanna get wit'cha ,

And take your picture,

My homeboys tried to warn me,

But with that butt you got makes me-"

"That's enough, Austin!" exclaimed Julia.

"That was brilliant," said Simon.

"I just loved it," said Paula.

"Dawg, you got it tonight!" said Randy.

Frodo noticed the murderous look in Julia's eyes and said, "Baggins. Out." Then he hurried off 'stage'.

"Rap isn't even music!" Julia said. "Honestly! How many words rhyme with bitch?"

"Rap ain't no music," began Randy. "Rap is an art."

"Yeah," said Pippin. "You just hate me because I'm black!"

"Am I missing something here? Does anyone have some real music?" she asked.

"I do!" said Frodo. He pulled out a kazoo.

"Brilliant!" said Julia. "Let's go."

A/N- Please, please, please! I beg of you! REVIEW! Please? Make me happy? It won't hurt you. Go on. Click that little gray button in the bottom left- hand corner. What harm can it do? Potential reviewer's computer blows up as they click the button ....heh heh....almost no harm...

À suivre...Lulu