A/N- I have decided that I'm going to take a walk on the wild side from now on and not use a disclaimer crowd gasps… yes, I know. Actually… I don't think I'd mind getting arrested for something that stupid. And disclaimers are annoying (especially one's that disclaim about fifty different things.

A/N- And on a truly sad note, my family down in Louisiana has been devastated by the hurricane. We have to drive down on Fri. to take their kids up here and help start rebuilding their home. It will be very sad and I won't be updating during that time… so I'll update as much as possible before the trip.

Chapter Nine:

"Help," groaned the mysterious figure as the nine approached. As they neared him, they saw that he was wearing a long, very-worn beige robe… complete with hood. Julia slowly removed the hood. Underneath it was the face of a young and handsome man. He had blonde hair and blue eyes. However, it appeared as if nothing was wrong with him. He was perfectly clean and seemed healthy enough.

"What's the matter?" Merry asked bluntly. He immediately wished he hadn't. The man held up his hand, or lack thereof. The hobbits gasped.

"Who did this to you?" demanded Winston.

"Was it Lord Voldemort?" suggested Julia.

"Or Dr. Evil?" added Austin.

"It was," he choked, "Darth Vader." The nine looked at him with disbelief.

"Darth what?" asked Frodo.

"Yeah… Vader who?"

"The most evil person of all time!" replied the man.

"Okay, let me get this straight. The most evil person of all time is fighting with you… he manages to cut off your hand… you are laying here, weak and vulnerable… and he leaves? This is the worst evil person I've ever heard of!" exclaimed Jack.

"But you have heard of him," said the man.

"No I haven't! What's a Darth anyways?"

"It's the title of a Sith Lord… a Jedi gone wrong."

"In English, please baby!" said Austin.

"It means he's evil… and he has a sword that lights up…" croaked the man on the ground.

"Okay then," began Julia. "But who are you and what are you doing here?"

"My name is Luke Skywalker. I came here to stop Darth Vader from finding Gandumbliwon."

"That's who we're trying to find as well!" piped up Pippin.

"Then," Luke said, attempting to stand up, "I will have to kill you." With that, he pulled out a metal pipe, and almost instantly, a green beam of light protruded from it. "I can't let you hurt Gandumbliwon. He's our only hope!"

"No!" shouted William. "We're not here to hurt him. We want to find him to try and save Middle Earth. You see, this is Winston. He is The One, and destined to kick some Voldie ass. And this is Austin Powers-" Austin cleared his throat very loudly. "Sorry- Austin Danger powers, who is destined to kick Doctor Evil's ass!"

"Don't forget The Two!" added Merry.

"Right," continued William, "The Two. He sits around and eats popcorn."

"Oh," said Luke, putting his light saber out, "then perhaps you could help me." He gestured towards his hand.

"How can we help with that, mate?" asked Jack.

"Oh… there are fake hands a-plenty where I come from. They're right over there." He pointed to a box filled with shiny silver objects labeled 'Fake Hands.'

"Accio," said Julia, and a hand came flying over. "I'll help quicken this up a bit." And with a wave of her wand, the hand attached itself to Luke's arm.

"You really are the cleverest witch of your age, Julia," Winston declared.

"I'm not a witch," she replied.

"Yes. You. Are."

"Oh… right then. I just got so used to saying it."

"I see."

"So… what now?" inquired William.

"We stop Darth Vader!" said Luke purposefully.

"Then let's go!" And the ten proceeded to room number two…