Chapter 53

Cross-Brain AN: The following arc shall be a unique one: As the Straw Hats enjoy themselves a blissful little bit of shore leave in this mini-saga, so too shall you readers enjoy a break… from Cross! Hit it!

"Hammer."

Tool pressed into his hand, Usopp slipped his goggles down, kneeled in the grass of the Thousand Sunny's pavilion, and carefully maneuvered the hammer to just the right spot. He hoped. Sea prism stone, for all its hardness and the fact that it was a metal, was very brittle fresh from cooling down from forge temperatures. He and Franky, who was watching closely behind him, had found that out the hard way, and neither was very eager to wait for another island where they could heat a forge hot enough to melt the stuff.

Finally locating the spot, he raised the hammer and brought it down, the clay covering the hook cracking and flaking off. Underneath, the stone was pristine, and Usopp breathed a sigh of relief.

"Well, looks good," he reported, straightening up as he wiped his forehead. "Even if the heating function doesn't work, Boss'll be able to brain people just fine."

"It'll super work," Franky stated with all the certainty of most conspiracy theorists. Taking the hook, he slotted a Dial into an open crevice, clicked a panel into place, and tapped it on the anvil, a telltale heat haze rising seconds later. "See?"

Usopp whooped victoriously and pumped his fist. "Finally! Man, this was taking forever!" The tinker-sniper grinned eagerly as he wrung his hands. "The next ones should be super easy now!"

"Don't steal my line, long nose," Franky chuckled in warning, absentmindedly reaching for their cache of weapons. His hands closed on air and sackcloth, and he glanced over at the limp, sad, empty sack. "Hey, Usopp, where are the next ones?"

"Huh?" Usopp glanced over at the bag before snapping his fingers. "Oh, yeah, I decided to wait on getting those because of how tricky I thought it would be to make the materials cooperate."

"Well, you were right, but we've got it now. So, where's—aha!" Franky exclaimed, leaning out of the pavilion and pointing upward.

Usopp followed his finger to the sleeping form of Cross, lying on a few ropes tied between two of Sunny's lines. He frowned. "Hey, Franky, did you consider putting some hammocks on Sunny's masts during the design process?"

"Nope," Franky replied. "But I'm not surprised Cross improvised one anyway. Honestly, I'm amazed that the whole thing hasn't come undone yet."

"And… for curiosity's sake, where's the control panel for those lines?"

A grin slowly came over Franky's face as he jabbed a thumb at a nearby section of paneling. "From what I've managed to get out of Merry's modifications? Third panel from the right, right over there," he said, voice brimming with anticipation.

Usopp nodded, and then eyed Cross snoozing contentedly in his makeshift hammock. He looked back at the hidden controls for the Sunny's lines, and then at the tactician again, an evil grin growing on his face, joined by an equally evil glint in his eyes and a silent thumbs-up from Franky. Creeping up to the controls, he took a few seconds to examine them and then rapped his knuckles against the panel.

To Usopp's alarm—and a little amusement—Cross was not flipped onto the deck by the lines suddenly unraveling as he'd planned. What did happen was arguably even better: a pulley came falling out of the sky and did verily smack him right on the forehead. Letting out a cry of pain, Cross clutched his forehead and immediately flailed himself out of his resting place and onto the deck with a meaty thump.

"Sonnuva—what the hell, Merry!?" he yelped, clutching his forehead.

"NOT IT!" Merry called out from the helm, more amusement than offense in her voice.

"Sorry, Cross!" Usopp called back as he vaulted out of the pavilion, hiding the urge to snicker. "That was me! I was just trying to get the ropes to flip you onto the lawn!"

"Same question!"

"Fastest way to wake you up, and it would have been a soft landing, plus it was going to be, and still was, funny," was the shameless answer. "And now that you're up, I just finished confirming that sea prism stone doesn't interfere with Dials, so I need to borrow your hat and armor so I can upgrade them."

Cross blinked, and then he flipped himself into a sitting position, his annoyance and frustration visibly gone. "Sea prism stone upgrades? That's what you were working on?" he asked.

"What the heck did you expect after that fiasco on Thriller Bark?" Franky replied, slipping his fist's skin off and displaying his new (literal) brass knuckles. "If we had some of this on hand when Moria woke up, it wouldn't have been half the nightmare it was. I doubt that's the last time we'll get blindsided, but thanks to the Accinos and Enies, it is the last time we'll be completely unprepared. Any Ability-user that messes with us in the future is gonna be in for a nasty surprise."

"And so will you unless you can explain why you didn't think to consult anyone else about this."

The trio turned to Zoro, who was climbing down the mast, his usual scowl even more pronounced than normal. "I was willing to go with the salt paste because it was a one-time thing and easy to get off. But I'm not going to lace my swords with—"

"Oh, give it a rest, Zoro, we all know how much of a purist you are," Cross stated flatly, waving away the objections.

"And we took that into account," Usopp added, tossing some bottle cap-like objects at the swordsman, who caught them reflexively. "We designed caps to go on the bottom of your hilts. They're not touching the blades, so no problem there, right?"

Zoro looked from the caps to his swords and then to Usopp. Eventually, he nodded in acceptance.

"I'll need to think about practicing pommel strikes…" he muttered. "Haven't done those in ages…" With that, he stalked off, probably to start training. With his back turned towards them, Usopp visibly relaxed.

"Whew… thank goodness that worked, I saw my life flash before my eyes…" Usopp sighed in relief, before turning his eyes to the third mate. "So, Cross?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll get them to you in a second," he groused, knocking on the mast to bring down a rope. "And for the record? Watch your head."

Usopp swallowed nervously as the tactician shot up and out of sight before glancing around. "A-Alright, now, where's Nami?"

"Right here," Nami called, emerging from the back of the ship and walking towards him. "What do you need?"

"I need to borrow your Clima-Tact to refit it with sea prism stone."

Nami blinked, glancing at her staff, then back at Usopp. "Not gonna question it, I'll just roll with the good fortune. How long will it take?"

"Two hours to fit the entire staff, or one if I just do the orbs or the rods."

"Just go for the orbs, then," Nami said, handing over the staff. "I'd rather not have it out of reach for longer than I need to, and we're better off leaving some space so that if someone other than me needs to grab it, they don't get conked out."

"Ditto there!"

CLANG!

"GAH!" Usopp yelped, his heart rate spiking as a mass of armor sailed inches above his head. He immediately turned on Cross as the third mate rode a line back down to the deck, his limbs wrapped in bandages. "What was that for!?"

"Oh, lighten up, it was funny!" the transdimensional traveler said in a god-awful imitation of Usopp's own voice. "But, ah, in all seriousness, I'm with Nami. I'd prefer it if Chopper could actually touch me while he put me back together."

"And if we didn't conk right out whenever he grabbed us, that'd be great," Lassoo added from where he was snoozing in the sun.

"Don't worry, I'll just give him Sea-Stone knuckles along with a few traces on the inside for reinforcement," Usopp assured them. "They won't be anywhere near you."

"Then in that case, do your best!" Funkfreed chimed in.

Light glinted off of Franky's teeth as he flashed them all a thumbs-up. "You can super! count on us!"

"Well, while we're counting on them…" Cross mused thoughtfully, shooting an eager grin at his larger partners. "You guys wanna touch up on me dual-wielding you? It'd be nice to get some input on how to coordinate using the two of you at the same time!… Y'know, outside of pitched combat."

"Wha—Seriously!?" Lassoo barked eagerly, scrambling to his paws and loping up to his wielder with an eager whoof, nearly bowling Cross over in his slobbering enthusiasm. "Hells yes! Let's see some action!"

"WATCH IT, ODIE!" Soundbite gagged as he snapped into his shell. "I CAN TAKE SOME FOREIGN SLIME, NOT A FLOOD!"

"Gah! Alright, alright, down boy!" Cross laughed, holding the dog away by his chest. Once he had some breathing room, he eyed the dog with an appreciative whistle. "Eesh, boy, watch it, you almost flattened me! Seriously, have you put on weight or something?"

"The better to blast them with!" Lassoo crowed, fangs flashing.

"He's got a point there!" Funkfreed said as he used his trunk to haul his fellow weapon off. "But, ah, first, before we get into it, maybe we should talk a little first so that we can hash things out?"

"Ah… eheh, right…" Lassoo smiled sheepishly, one hind leg going up to scratch at his ear. "Fair 'nuff…"

"LET'S GET TO IT!" Soundbite commanded.

And with that, the quartet moved to a corner of the deck and started to talk.

Franky, meanwhile, had gone back into the pavilion, and as Cross and his partners went to work he'd hauled a large bag out and dropped it on the lawn. "Alright, that's all the Dial-based weapons except for Conis's—"

"And I've already got enough non-Dial weapons of hers outfitted, along with some ammo that I'll be splitting with her," Usopp finished, digging through the bag and handing out the appropriate equipment to everyone as they passed by. "For everyone else, we've got a new pipe for Luffy with the ends reinforced—!"

"WOOHOO!" Luffy whooped as he swung by and snatched the pipe out of Usopp's hand. The marksman, to his credit, didn't miss a beat.

"—two pairs of detachable soles for Sanji, four scalpels for Chopper, a butterfly knife for Robin—and I still say it's freaky how good she is with those things, former assassin or not."

"Well, I am from the West Blue," Robin chuckled, spinning the blade through her fingers with terrifying expertise. "And… 'former,' hmm? Cute."

Usopp gulped audibly, tugging at his collar. "R-Right… anyway, the blades for Vivi and Carue's weapons have been tempered, along with Raphey's shuriken and sai, and we've reinforced Mikey's nunchucks and Donny's staff. With all that, we don't have a lot of sea prism stone left unless we wanna cut into the half-dozen pairs of cuffs we have left—"

"Hell to pay if you do!" Cross called over.

"Noted!" Franky shouted back before cocking an eyebrow at his partner-in-forge. "So what else do we need and can we pull it off with what we have left?"

"Uh, let's see…" Usopp muttered. "A few of Donny's Kunai if we can manage it… and we still need something for Brook and Merry. Brook is easy enough, we can just reinforce his sheath, but what about Merry?"

"Easy enough! But first!"

CLONK!

"OW!" Usopp yelped as the ship's helmsgirl dropped out of the rigging and bounced off his head.

"Leggo my Big Bro! Got it?!" she ordered, puffing out her cheeks with an adorable scowl on her face. "It was funny that time, but you could have done something really dangerous! Or stupid! Or stupidly dangerous or dangerously stupid!"

"Noted…" Usopp groaned as he poked at the growing lump rising from his scalp. "Anyway… you were saying?"

"Oh, right!" Merry brightened up. "Yeah, it's easy: just make some sheaths or casings or something for some hooks and pulleys. One or two oughta do, and then I can let Big Bro do the rest!"

Usopp and Franky exchanged looks, then turned back at her. "And what about if you're not on the ship?" the marksman asked.

Merry's expression fell flat, and she cast a pointed glance to the side. "Then someone screwed up, and someone is going to get their ass kicked."

"Love you too, Merry," Cross called back, rolling his eyes at the not-so-subtle warning. "And fair warning, you two? Brook should be indisposed right now, so you'll have to fetch his blade yourselves."

"Indisposed? Doing wha—? OK, stupid question, not like anyone's doing much else today," Franky said. "What kind of training is he doing, then?"

"Eh… well, you already know that Brook was in the Florian Triangle for fifty years before we met him," Cross began, grimacing. "But in all that time, he never tried exploring the limits of the Revive-Revive Fruit. Coming back from the dead granted him a few powers that he hasn't explored, and once he unlocks them he's going to get a major boost in abilities. But it all depends on him getting back to the basics of his power first."

"Aaaand… he's doing that how, exactly?" Merry slowly queried.

Cross's grimace deepened, and he glanced to the side and scratched his cheek. "Weeeell…"

-o-

"I am experiencing many conflicted feelings at the moment…"

Brook shivered, shaking the bag he was trussed up in as he uneasily eye-socketed the barrel of water sitting under him.

"Trust me, this isn't my idea of fun either," Chopper groused, furiously scribbling his stream of thoughts into a notebook. "But, as uncomfortable as this idea might be, I can't fault Cross's logic. So unless you'd rather go for meditation or something like that—?"

"Grk!" Brook's jaw set uncomfortably, teeth clicking. "My, ah, m-my mind is not exactly the kind of place I would like to willingly delve into, no thank you."

"Then this is the best option we have to get the best results in the shortest amount of time… no matter how much I might not like it…" Chopper sighed in conclusion.

"Not exactly having a fun time here either, ya know!" Donny piped up, gritting his teeth as he shifted his grip on the rope that was keeping Brook suspended above the barrel of seawater. "And why is it that you picked me for this, anyway? Half the crew, including all of my bros outrank me in muscle, and Merry, Robin, and even Luffy outrank me on Devil Fruit knowledge on top of that, and none of them were busy last time I checked!"

"Simple, Donny," Chopper stated, locking eyes with the dugong. "Effective five minutes ago, you're my assistant."

Donny's brain froze up, unable to process the reindeer's statement. He just managed to catch himself before he let Brook's rope slip, but he was still left staring blankly at Chopper with his mouth slightly open until the doctor elaborated.

"The crew is taking too many and too serious injuries for me to handle on my own anymore, and while Merry has the skills to help me, she's got muscle memory but not much else," Chopper answered, not looking up from his note-taking. "She'll do for first aid, and nursing with a little training, but I need someone else for a more permanent position, and until further notice that's going to be you, unless you're going to tell me that you don't want it."

Donny blinked several times as he thought it over. He was always the smart one among his siblings, and often was the one who told them how to patch up their injuries with the local remedies back in Alabasta. All things considered, he wasn't really opposed to the idea of standing by Chopper, and he was reasonably sure that Boss would allow it (however grudgingly) It was still a big a decision to make, though, and he frowned in contemplation as he weighed the pros and cons.

"And before you ask if you can have more time to think it over, know that I very nearly defaulted to pinning you with a needle of paralytics before dragging you up here; you do not want to live with me if I need to spend a week in sedated sleep again," Chopper added.

Donny snapped his flipper into a salute. "I accept this position with—GYAH!" he yelped as his one-handed grip on the rope promptly slipped and he was awarded with a painful rope burn. Immediately, he scrambled to get the rope back under control, earning more rope burns in the process.

"ACK! CAREFUL, CAREFUL!" Brook cried as he jerked downwards and swung precariously over the watery coffin.

"Watch it, we need to be careful about how we do this!" Chopper chastised his newly chosen apprentice.

"And what exactly is 'this'?" came another voice.

The trio all turned their attention to a corner of the quarterdeck, where a previously sun tanning Perona had lifted her sunglasses onto her forehead and was regarding them with a cocked eyebrow.

Chopper and Donny exchanged uncertain looks, silently considering how much information they could or should divulge, only for the choice to be taken from their hands when Brook spoke up.

"Per Cross's advice, I am attempting to explore the capabilities of my Devil Fruit powers," he casually explained.

Both hybrids looked at the skeleton in askance, to which he responded with a light shrug, inasmuch as he could manage in his sack. "She's a young girl who had no active part in either parts of my torment, I see no reason for a grudge or secrecy." He then turned back to Perona. "You see, as you've no doubt already guessed, I am as I am thanks to my Devil Fruit: the Revive-Revive Fruit, which, upon my first death, allowed my soul to return to the mortal coil and repossess my fallen body… if in a degraded state."

Perona blinked in legitimate surprise. "…Wow. Somehow, I'm actually still surprised by just how BS Devil Fruits can be," she deadpanned. "But how is dunking you in the water supposed to help you get a better grip on your powers? I don't need to why that doesn't make sense, I hope."

"Simply put, I'm returning to my power's roots," Brook explained. "As you'll recall, I said I returned to this world as a soul and then repossessed my body. According to Cross, this possession was not permanent, and I am fully capable of returning to my astral state, which could be useful for a variety of reasons. Most of all, disassociating myself from my body and ignoring such limitations as pain or injury to my corporeal form, which should rightly have no effect on me so long as I acknowledge that my skeleton is a mere shell. A convenient and dear shell, but just a shell. However…"

Brook's jaw twisted into as much of a grimace as it could manage. "Returning to my astral form is not as easy as it would sound. It has been fifty years since I returned from the afterlife, fifty years since I regained my body…"

Perona's expression fell into a deadpan. "And… you forgot how."

"Less that I forgot, more that I never knew that I could return to my soul state in the first place, in addition to not thinking there was any advantage to such a 'devolution', as I initially viewed it," Brook shrugged.

"Hence, this undertaking," Chopper spoke up, tapping the barrel. "Cross suggested this as an alternative to long hours of meditation, and as much as I don't like it, I agree with the train of thought: By slowly dunking Brook into the water, his instincts as a Devil Fruit user will make him desperate to escape, but his restraints will leave him only one possible means of doing so. In essence, we're going to be scaring him from… his… body…" Suddenly, Chopper turned his full attention to the ship's guest. "Unless you have any better ideas?"

The self-titled Ghost Princess snorted derisively as she flicked her sunglasses back down and leaned back into her chair, snapping her reflector board open. "None I'm going to share with you, furball."

"What!?" the doctor yelped in honest shock. "But we just—!"

"Lemme take a flying guess at her next words," Donny interrupted as he affixed the stowaway with a cold glare. "'Pirate', right?"

"You really struck gold with blubber-butt, Doc Hatchet," Perona sang, a smirk clear despite the reflector in the way. "He's already smarter than you."

Chopper glared at her for a second longer before snapping his head away with a harsh click of his tongue. "We're beginning the experiment. Donny, lower him in. Just a half-foot, we'll start easy."

"Aye," the purple-marked Dugong nodded, loosening his grip and slowly allowing his rope to slip through his flippers. Brook tensed as he lowered closer to the barrel. Water soaked into the fabric, and then through, engulfing his bony feet and prompting him to squirm.

"Anything?" Chopper called up with no small amount of concern.

"Ah…" Brook flinched uneasily as he shifted about. "A bit uncomfortable, and I'm trying my best to… to go up, as it were, but, well…"

"If you want to stop—"

"No, no, I can continue," Brook assured him.

"Alright then…" Chopper nodded slowly before glancing at his assistant. "Donny, another half-!"

"For the sake of my being able to relax without your pathetic whimpering, let me give you some advice."

"Wha—GAH!" Chopper yelped when a foot was suddenly planted in his back, sending him sprawling him to the ground to be swiftly pinned.

Perona sniffed haughtily as she ground her heel into the Zoan's spine, casting a dispassionate glare at the skeleton. "The key to separation? You just need to let go, numbskull. And on that note…" An unearthly cackling aura suddenly bloomed in her palm. "Good luck because you're gonna need it. NEGATIVE HOLLOW!"

It would be untrue to say that Donny didn't have the reflexes to dodge out of the way of the speeding specter. However, the fact that he was holding a rope that was keeping his crewmate out of hot water—or water, period, as it were—caused him to hesitate for a moment. And that moment was all the time he had.

Donny moaned and fell to his 'knees' as the specter passed through him. "I wish someone would just cook me into a—!"

SPLASH!

"GAH!" Water splashed onto Donny's body, knocking him out of his depression with a flash of horror. "BROOK!" Donny cried, staring in horror at the water sloshing from the barrel.

"BROOK, NO!" Chopper yelled, snapping into his Heavy Point—which was actually unnecessary as Perona had already stepped back as soon as she'd cast out her Negative Hollow—rushing over to the barrel and plunging his hand into the water, in spite of how it took a good chunk from his stamina. "Shit-shit-shit-shit—!"

"Hurry, Chopper! You have to get me out before I drown!" Brook pleaded desperately as he hovered over Chopper's shoulder.

"I'm trying, I'm trying!"

"Please, I can't hold my breath!"

"You don't have any breath to hold, numbskull. More than usual, even," Perona deadpanned, casting a dispassionate glare over her reflector.

"Eh?" Brook blinked in confusion, turning to stare at the Ghost Princess. "What are… you…?" He blinked again (even though he lacked eyelids), and turned back to his crewmates, who were staring at him in shock. "Ah… why are you looking at me like that?"

Chopper, devoid of words as he was, could only weakly point his finger into the barrel.

Tilting his head in confusion, Brook followed the Zoan's finger and stared into the water. Beneath the water's surface, a skeleton was slumped lifelessly. And reflected in the water's surface was—!

"AH! A ghost!" Brook recoiled with a shriek of terror. Then, just as swiftly, he calmed down as realization struck him. "Oh, wait, that's me. AH! I'm dead! Oh, wait, that's not new… OH! A cute woman!" The spectral pirate grinned eagerly at Perona. "Say, could you show me your—?"

"Could someone give Grampa his body back before he goes completely senile?" Perona demanded impatiently.

"But… isn't his brain already dead?" Donny questioned weakly.

"Yohohoho! That was funny! I think I'll call it a Skull Joke!" Brook chortled before jerking back in shock. "AH! A talking animal! Oh, wait, you're my crewmate… AH! Where am—!?"

Moving fast, Chopper shot his fist into the barrel, yanked the skeleton's afro out and effectively slapped the spirit upside his astral head with his own skull.

Brook yelped in shock, his skull vibrating slightly, his mood quickly ratcheting down to a relieved sigh. "Ah… ack… wow… that was… hoo…" the newly re-undead skeleton sighed in relief. "Well, at least I'm back to normal."

"Uhh… For… a given measure of the term anyways…" Donny hedged uneasily.

"Huh? What are yoouuWAAAAGH!" Brook's question devolved into a terrified shriek when he suddenly realized he was missing his body, and was in fact just a talking head in Chopper's shaky hands. "I'VE BEEN DECORPITATED!"

"And yet, much to my misery, you are still very much alive and still very noisy," Perona grumbled irritably. "Looks like loudmouth was right: You're just a soul, you don't need your body… well, you still do for now, until you manage to get ahold of yourself in astral form."

His breath back, Chopper slowly turned a wary but pleading look to the girl. "Do… could you please tell us what just happened… Ghost Princess?"

Perona blinked at the usage of her title, but then leaned back in her chair with a careless wave of her hand. "Eh… it's no big deal, really. It's just that going astral can be really disconcerting. Without your body, your mind gets set loose or something and you can lose track of yourself pretty fast. You just need to make sure you've got a good sense of self before you try, otherwise?" She shrugged carelessly. "You'll devolve into a will-o-the-wisp and scatter into dust on the aetherial wind."

Chopper and Donny both shuddered fearfully at the Goth's sheer nonchalance at some serious existential horror, but Brook… Brook's gaze, however expressionless, softened somewhat as he regarded the Hollow-girl. "Personal experience, I take it?"

Going by how Perona's body locked up in frigid fury, that was the wrong thing to say. "Get out. Of my light," she grit out through a scowl that had twisted her face, and a trio of cackling Negative Hollows slowly started to orbit around her hand. "Or I will make you idiots wish you were never even conceived, let alone born."

For a moment, the trio stood stock still. As it turned out, that was a moment too long.

Perona snarled murderously, her eyes rolling up into blankness. "You asked for it."

-o-

From her position on the quarterdeck, Merry was well-positioned to both monitor the sea ahead and catch the first screams wafting up from the main deck below. Curious, she quickly confirmed that she could leave the helm at least briefly, and left the wheel to go poke her head over the railing.

She was thus just in time to see Donny, carrying a sloshing barrel of water, and Chopper, carrying Brook's still-undead head, run below her in a panic, all three screaming their, ah, heads off. The cackling, grinning specters heading after them answered the question forming in her mind before it was asked. She blinked a couple of times before sighing fondly and leaning against the stand holding the wheel up.

"This crew never ceases to amaze, do they, Big Bro?"

A soft purring vibrated beneath her fingers and feet, causing her smile to grow. She made to head back to the helm, only for a familiar sound to cause her to head significantly faster in the opposite direction.

"Puru puru puru puru! AW, dang it!" Soundbite groused, his ringing drawing the ire of everyone else under the tree he and Cross were under. "For once, THEIR TIMING—Puru puru puru puru!—bites."

"Well, if you really wanna split hairs, you're the only one who really needs to go," Lassoo snorted dismissively. "I've got an idea for a new attack I'd like to try out."

"I've… got one, too, actually," Funkfreed said tentatively. "And I think you'll like it, Cross."

"BLOW IT OUT YOUR TAILPIPE, flea-bag, I've got something up myPuru puru puru puru!—shell too, and you'll wanna hear it SEEING AS ITPuru puru puru puru!—INVOLVES YOU LUGS! THE SNAIL STAYS!"

The tactician glanced between his partners, visibly hesitating. "I… suppose I could skip one call…?"

And that was when Merry decided to intervene. "Orrrr you could rely on someone else for a change!" she called down in a 'what an idiot' kind of tone.

The quartet all blinked and looked up at her in surprise. "Huh?" Cross questioned. "What are you—?"

"It's easy: Soundbite can shunt the call over to Brain and I'll handle them! If your input's critical, Soundbite can still hear me if he needs to. If not, no harm lost! Easy, right?"

"Hmm…" Merry watched as Cross visibly chewed on his cheek. After a moment of thought, he looked up at Merry. "Anything well-and-truly critical—"

"Five alarm call-out, on the double!" Merry agreed, saluting. "…I'm being literal, I can trigger five alarms at once from the lounge."

"…eh, alright, fine then," Cross sighed, snapping his fingers. "Soundbite, can you—?"

"PATCHED THROUGH—Puru puru—klack!—NOW, TO BRAIN IN THE LOUNGE! HAVE FUN, GIVE 'EM HELL!"

"Got it! See ya!" Merry said with a grin, giving them all a final wave before kicking open a trapdoor right below her and dropping into one of the many boltholes she'd installed in her Big Bro.

As Merry clambered through her personal passageway, she reveled in the sense of sheer exclusivity she always felt when she used them. The network stretched everywhere throughout the ship, but they were damn small; Chopper's antlers and the Dugongs' blubber meant that even they couldn't enter, leaving only the shipgirl and Su at the right size and physical capability to properly navigate them. It wasn't purely hers, true, but Merry could think of worse comrades to share her network with (She liked Robin well enough, loved her even, but if that woman's incessant patting of her head resulted in a bald spot…) than the cloud fox.

After a minute of travel, Merry emerged into the Aquarium Lounge. Once she confirmed that the room was indeed empty of any of her crewmates, and in fact of any living thing besides herself, Brain, and the large octopus lounging in an upturned helmet at the bottom of the tank, she sealed the room with a quick knock on the wall and loped up to the ringing chubby snail sitting on one of the tables.

She had just been reaching for the receiver when she paused and, after a moment of thought, adopted a devilish grin that she quickly banished in favor of her cutest look possible. It was with this cute look that she clicked Brain's button. "You've reached Minnie's Maid Service Manor! How may I help you, Master?"

"Bwuh—!? Er, ah, I-I-I am so sorry, I think I have the wrong number—!"

"MWAHAHAHAHA!" Merry burst out cackling at the poleaxed expression the snail was wearing by proxy. "Now I see why Cross does this so often, it's hi-i-ilarious! MWAHAHAHAHA!"

Brain's gobsmacked look suddenly swapped to deadpan. "And now you see why I wanted you to be the first on the line instead of me."

"HAHA—eh?" Merry's laughter cut off in a confused blink. "Wait, Tashigi? But if I didn't prank you, then who—?"

"Ah, t-this is Lieu—geh, force of habit… Seaman First Class 'Ironfist' Fullbody. I, ah… I actually ran into your crew back in the East Blue. Do you… remember me?"

Merry's grin creaked into wooden brittleness, and her fingernails started to dig into the table's veneer. "You mean do I remember the raging asshole who tried to sink me on a whim in order to impress the bimbo he was carting around? Even though my crew didn't have a single bounty to its name at the time?" The shipgirl's grin started twitching murderously. "I think I might have a vague recollection of you."

"…I never thought I'd be un-happy to be remembered," Fullbody gulped audibly, glancing very nervously to the side.

"We'll discuss this later, Seaman," Lieutenant Junior-Grade Tashigi frigidly informed him. "Alright, moving on from what was even less funny than I expected, Cottonmouth, is Ophiuchus there?"

"Indisposed with training, along with Knucker and pretty much everyone else except Callie." Merry informed her. "I mean, I could get them if you need them, but—"

"It… depends," Tashigi said hesitantly. "This is a status report for the most part, though there is one thing I'd like to get his input on if possible, just to see if he knows anything about it."

"Priorities first, what may or may not need his know-how?" Merry inquired.

"Ah, ahem! That's actually why I'm here!" Fullbody offered. "As you'll recall, my superior, Captain 'Black Cage' Hina, wasn't available for the last meeting of the Masons that was convened. The reason for that, and the reason why I'm here now instead of her, is that at the moment, Captain Hina and the rest of the Black Cage Formation are on an assignment in the East Blue, investigating something rather… disturbing."

The shipgirl cocked her eyebrow. "In what way, exactly?"

"Picowana Island," the Seaman started solemnly. "Up until, as near as we can estimate, a month ago, it was an uninhabited tropical island. No valuable resources, no notable native species, just jungle and not much else of interest. And then, a month ago, somebody or something destroyed it."

Merry couldn't help but swallow slightly, a sheen of cold sweat coming into being on the back of her neck. "…care to, ah, clarify that statement a bit?"

"The island itself is still there, if that's what you're asking, the physical rock has not been touched… but that's essentially all that remains." Fullbody's gaze became somewhat haunted. "It was… I'm honestly at a loss to describe it. The entire island, the whole of the jungle, was savaged. Trees were uprooted, crushed, sliced to pieces, the animals were all ripped to shreds in every way imaginable, blood was everywhere, and that was the conventional damage. Some tracts of land were burnt to cinders, there were dozens of animal skeletons that looked like they'd been picked clean, and there were even several swamps of literal poison bubbling away! The carnage, it was just…" Fullbody slowly shook his head. "It was absolute in ways I've never seen before."

"Holy hell…" Merry breathed softly.

"We wanted to ask Cross if he knew anything about this," Tashigi picked up, voice solemn. "We know this isn't technically Mason business, but we—the Marines, that is—have no idea what caused or could have caused that kind of destruction, and we want to find it before it can do so again on another island or, God forbid, one that's actually inhabited."

"No, I understand, and I'm sure Cross would too…" Merry slowly nodded before transitioning to a shake. "But… while I'll pass this on to Cross, I'm afraid he won't have anything to contribute."

Tashigi grimaced unhappily. "You're sure about that?"

Merry let out a slight 'bah' of apology. "Cross said our next destination was the Sabaody Archipelago, and that as far as he knows, we're not due for any more big fights for awhile. I'm pretty sure that if he knew anything about this, he'd have said. So, either this is something totally new or, more likely, it's something that came up outside of his Straw Hat-centric scope of knowledge. And if that really is the case…"

"He'll have jack to tell us, right, right," Tashigi nodded reluctantly before heaving a sigh. "Damn, and I was just getting used to getting anything other than a few vague, unsatisfying answers out of him… bah!" She shook her head and nodded again, this time with determination blazing in her eyes. "Whatever! We did fine without Cross in the past and we'll be fine now! We Marines have our pride too, you know!"

"Aye-aye, Lieutenant!" Fullbody concurred eagerly.

"You go, four-eyes!" Merry pumped her fist encouragingly.

Tashigi maintained her prideful expression for a minute or so. Then, she blinked in honest surprise. "Wait… so… you're not going to point out some eensy weensy flaw in my logic or jab another hole in my uniform and let all the air out of my renewed confidence and pride in my flag?"

"Uhhh… nnnoooo?"

"…I've gotta call while Cross is away more often, I don't think I've ever been on the line with you guys for so long without wanting to stab something before."

Merry kept her smile in place even as she mentally pinned a note to tell Cross to haul the hell back on his heckling of the Lieutenant, lest he earn himself a semi-justified shanking when next the two met in person.

"Woo, I-I'm actually feeling quite good right now," Tashigi breathed euphorically. "Alright, what else were we gonna talk about?"

"Uh… general status update, ma'am?" Fullbody asked, a slight twitch in the corner of his mouth.

"Ah, right, right!" Tashigi nodded confidently. "Cottonmouth, do you want to get a pen and paper or…?"

"Nah, 'sfine," Merry waved her off. "Robin's memory supersedes Vivi's, my mind's a steel trap."

"Right, well, it's all basic stuff anyway. First off, Ox and Goat have both deployed men and supplies to Skelter Bite; Ox's have already landed thanks to their proximity and are greatly contributing to construction efforts as we speak, go giants, and we've made sure that Goat's men are aware of Marine patrol routes on the way, so weather permitting they should arrive within the next three weeks," Tashigi summarized. "According to Rabbit, Skelter Bite will be open for business in a little over a month. Nowhere near the peak it'll reach in a few years, but they'll certainly be able to accept patrons."

"Sounds great!" Merry chirped happily. "Maybe we'll even be able to visit before we hit up Sabaody! What else?"

"Next on the agenda… word from Navarone," the lieutenant continued. "Their first batch of recruits just shipped out for assignment. The majority will be bolstering bases up and down Paradise, no surprise there, but we did get lucky. Two dozen or so, all loyal to us, have been split between the West and South Blues. They'll work on getting us footholds in the Blues. It'll be awhile before we have anything as major as an actual base turned to us, but it's still a start."

"This all sounds great!" Merry pumped her fist victoriously… before hesitantly lowering it as she caught sight of the dark look on Brain's face. "Or… not?"

"No, no, that news is great, but the news that's coming up is notably less so," Tashigi sighed grimly.

"There have been rumors coming down from Marineford," Fullbody pitched in. "Bege's raid on Fort Lumose hamstrung our budget, to be certain, but apparently the higher ups are still finding funding from somewhere because they're amassing the money for an undertaking whose true form we can only guess at but whose bones are… already uncomfortable in nature."

"Have you ever heard of 'privateers', Merry?" Tashigi asked.

Merry's expression devolved into an offended scowl. "The proper name for those salty bastards would be 'low-priced scum who dip their flags in tar', thank you very much," she stated in a voice that would have given a yeti frostbite.

"You pirates never cease to amaze with how much pride you take in being criminals," Tashigi sighed, though her true feelings were clear in her light smile. But she was quick to sober up. "Anyway. The reason I bring them up is that from what I hear, funds are being pooled to hire them. Now, mind you, the Marines have hired privateers in the past, to help bolster security in particularly rough waters, but this…" She shook her head uncertainly. "I've never heard of the numbers that are being tossed around, and certainly never from Headquarters. We'll get back to you when we have something more concrete, but for now—"

"Enemy movement on the horizon, most likely something Cross isn't aware of, got it," Merry confirmed. "I'll pass it along ASAP."

"Well, that's everything really important on our end, what about you?" Fullbody asked. "Anything on the Straw Hats' mobile stormfront that we should be aware of?"

Merry opened her mouth to reply—

SMASH!

—and only just managed to dodge biting her tongue off when the ship was suddenly rocked by a massive impact, followed swiftly by the sounds of a small-scale war erupting out on deck. The only reason she didn't go on full alert and instead skipped straight to exasperation was that amidst the sounds of battle she could hear the usual insults between the two usual suspects being bandied about, punctuated by the snide commentary of their new arrival.

"Well, I was going to say that it's been business as usual lately, but it looks like Perona just decided to incite a riot or something. Other than that, no, nothing critical."

Brain's mouth opened with a look of panic, but it just as swiftly clamped shut as though someone had slapped a hand over his mouth, and his expression swapped to Tashigi's deadpan. "Low-hanging fruit, Merry, and I'm not rising to it. Just make sure she's either out of the way when you dump her or decent if she stays, got it?"

"Aye-aye, mon ami!" Merry saluted in a chipper tone. "Cottonmouth, over and out!"

"Pisces, same. KA-LICK!" And with that, Brain gave her a final condescending glare before retreating into his shell with a defiant snore.

The ship-girl fondly rolled her eyes at the snail's grating personality before spinning on her heel and grinning eagerly as she rammed her fist into her palm.

And really, who could blame her for being enthusiastic?

It was time for her to bear witness to whatever new insanity her crew had fallen into! An endeavor she charged into with open glee.

-o-

Robin watched the ongoing brawl between the crew's usual suspects with scarcely-hidden glee and amusement, her amusement especially intensified due to the addition of an unusual but not unwelcome element in the fight.

It was almost admirable, honestly: every other day, barring exceptional circumstances, Zoro and Sanji fell into brawls like clockwork, and every other day they somehow always managed to keep their clashes as fresh as the first time she saw it. Truly, there was an art to it.

Why, even their banter still managed to remain current and engaging for all those observing!

"What the hell were you thinking, you two-bit fry cook!? Tossing out my weights!? I'm gonna peel the flesh cleaner off your bones than you could ever hope!" Zoro roared.

"Go ahead and try, your slices are gonna be as rough and shoddy as they ever are!" Sanji scoffed with forced casualness. "And you should be thanking me! Not only is it an honor for a seaweed-wrapped gorilla like yourself to give up your room for a cute and charming princess, but you needed to up your game anyways! You call these things weights? More like—!" Sanji hopped back, hefted a gong-sized ring of metal on his foot and flung it at the first mate. "Paperweights!"

Zoro ducked the impromptu discus with an infuriated snort. "If even one of these goes overboard, I'll replace it with your corpse, you bastard!"

"Hey!"

That exclamation originated from the aforementioned 'unusual element', prompting Robin to switch over to where Mikey and Leo were dueling, Mikey having only just managed to dodge the ballistic weight.

"Watch it, I'm on your side!" Mikey protested, finishing a good octave higher as he caught one of Leo's sabres in the chains of his nunchucks.

"Why are you helping him anyways?" Leo questioned, entirely casual as he pressed down with enough strength to make his fellow disciple strain. "Pick up an interest in cooking or something?"

"Not by choice!" Mikey sobbed as he shoved the blade back and retaliated with a wide sweep of his clubs. "Bastard said that if he didn't find a sous chef, he'd cut down on how many mouths he had to feed and pick up some spare ingredients at the same time!"

Zoro paused in his slashes to grace first Mikey, and then Sanji with a flat look. "You really scraped the bottom of the barrel for a protégé," he dryly stated.

"Not a lot of options to work with, and in his defense, I wasn't completely joking," Sanji grumbled.

"I can't tell either way, so like hell am I taking any chances! So do me a favor and lay down and die before I get turned into lunch!" Mikey howled as he renewed his onslaught.

Robin's gaze slid away again, this time to the last bit of entertainment: Raphey blocking an onslaught of punches from Boss, a look of intense concentration on her face much akin to Nami writing a map or Chopper with a medical mystery or Luffy trying to think at all.

"You sure I can't take a break to watch this?" she grunted, the question costing her a half inch of ground.

"You're the one who wanted to practice counters," Boss replied, his own concentration failing to waver. "If you want, we can do the Nori Arts training you also requested instead."

"On second thought, I love practicing counters!" Raphey hastily backpedalled. "In fact, I—yow!"

That last exclamation was due to one of Boss' punches finally slipping through and clocking the female dugong right on the snout. She flopped backward, clutching the injured body part as she let out a string of expletives, while Boss frowned in thought.

"Hmm, this isn't working as well as I thought," he mused to himself. "Take ten, Raphey. I'll try and think of a better training method."

"Yay…" the female martial artist bemoaned as she let herself go limp.

Robin chuckled at the exchange, reveling in the fact that she didn't have to hide her amusement anymore. Honestly, the only thing better than being free to laugh free—

"What's the context for this tête-à-tête, my dear devious… damn, can't think of a good D-word."

Robin's smile widened eagerly. Indeed, the only thing better than laughing free was laughing with friends. Case in point, she turned her smile on the white-haired friend that had strolled up next to her. "Damsel, perhaps?"

Merry snorted derisively, her smirk not shifting an inch. "Not on your damned life." She then shifted her attention back to her clashing crewmates. "And you haven't actually answered my question."

Robin chuckled as she returned her attention to the main attraction, observing with keen interest as Sanji actually managed to backflip off of the flat of Zoro's new blade. "On the surface, it's quite simple really: Sanji and his shanghaied sous chef emptied the crow's nest of all of Zoro's training equipment, and our first mate… took offense, if you will. Most likely because he and his living training dummy—"

"I RESENT THAT!" Leo roared as he shot by, in hot pursuit of a fleeing Mikey.

"—were ejected in the same movement."

Merry blinked in surprise before tilting her head in a confused motion. "That's… new. Usually they butt heads when they cross paths, they don't actually antagonize the other. Why would Sanji go out of his way to provoke him?"

That got a frown out of the archaeologist, the circumstances of the situation serving to sober her up. "Because he himself was provoked."

Merry looked up at her in shock. "By who?"

Robin opened her mouth to answer—

"Well, I would say me, but I resent the wording. 'Provoke' is such an uncute way of putting it."

—and instead closed it just as fast as her answer floated by.

Merry huffed and frowned up at Perona. "Shoulda guessed… well, how would you put it, then?"

Perona smiled beatifically as she ever so casually flipped onto her back. "Why, I just asked that gallant knight in shining armor if he'd be so nice as to clear the ugly troll's junk out of his cave so that I could have a room all to myself!" She folded her fingers under her chin as she tilted her head to the side. "Is that so wrong?"

"I'M GONNA MAKE YOU INTO A REAL GHOST, YOU LITTLE—!" That was as much as Zoro managed to get out before Sanji shut him up with a boot sole that had to be blocked.

"I'LL BE DONE WITH THIS MOSS-RIDDEN MENACE SOON ENOUGH, MY PULCHRITUDINOUS POLTERGEIST PRINCESS!" Sanji whooped as he erupted into a full blown amorous inferno.

Robin cocked her eyebrow at the moniker, glancing up at the phantasm. "Your idea as well, I take it?"

Perona didn't seem to hear her, content to hum a chipper tune to herself as she walked away on the air, spinning her parasol on her shoulder.

Merry whistled herself, a low, appreciative tone. "And I thought we had issues…"

Robin's frown deepened as she watched the Ghost Princess wander off. "Yes, but most of us have a handle on our neuroses, whereas she's making herself into an active threat." She and Merry both turned her eyes towards Cross, who currently occupied with looking his cannon over while Usopp talked with his sword, gesturing animatedly at the pachy-blade's sheath.

"Well, threat or not, whatever Cross foresaw was enough to give her a chance. I mean, once he got over the shock, he didn't even hesitate," Merry reflected. "But… how do we get to the point where she's our ally, let alone our friend?"

Robin pushed off the mast she'd been leaning on and cracked her neck in anticipation. "Simple enough: we fix her."

Merry snorted in amusement as she started to wander back towards the helm. "You want to make someone on this ship sane? Good luck to ya."

"Do recall, Merry," Robin chuckled confidently. "I'm a Straw Hat. We don't rely on just any luck…" And with that, she started to walk towards Cross. "We make our own."

Cross didn't look up as the archaeologist approached him, more engrossed with shifting Lassoo around on his shoulder and trying out different grips and positions for the dog-cannon. "Something tells me you're not here to spar," he mused as he shifted the weapon's weight around.

Robin hummed in confirmation as she came to a halt behind him, facing opposite him with his right scapula knocking against hers so she could keep an eye on the soon-to-be topic of their conversation. "I believe our guest is in need of some attention," she started without preamble.

Cross smirked as there was a spike in the clash of rubber on steel. "Sanji's got that covered in spades."

Robin smirked right back at the quip. "Female attention."

That got Cross to pause and glance dubiously over his shoulder. "…are you sure she swings that—?"

Robin didn't even bother to grace him with her unimpressed deadpan. "She needs a friend, Cross."

"Ah, heh, right, right…" Cross coughed, a blush dusting his cheeks. "And… yes, I can see how that'd be an issue… Vivi sure doesn't like her because of how she's been throwing that 'Princess' moniker around, and Conis considers her a bit too creepy to handle… what about yourself?"

Robin clicked her tongue in amusement. "I'm afraid that she finds me a bit creepy."

Cross snorted. "Of course… moving on, Raphey's not interested in someone who can't throw a punch to save their life, and Perona's opinion on 'cuteness' runs counter to Merry, which leaves…" The Voice of Anarchy trailed off into a grimace. "Yikes."

"You see my dilemma," the Devil Child sighed. "Any thoughts on how to create an opening?"

"Hmm…" Cross glanced upward, tap-tap-tapping a thoughtful beat against his cannon's barrel before snapping his fingers. "One: she had time to sneak aboard at her leisure, so that means she probably brought some of her possessions on board, with which she'll be filling her new room. If you can find a giant bear somewhere onboard? That's your opening." He poked his thumb towards the snail that was on top of his sword's head, nodding along with whatever it was Usopp and Funkfreed were talking about. "Want any help with it?"

"Thank you but no," Robin allowed herself a smirk as she crossed her arms. "I believe I'll be able to handle myself. Ojos Fleur."

Robin filtered rapid-fire through her rapidly blooming viewpoints, analyzing them at a glance before moving on.

'No, no, good blackmail material but no, no, still looking forward to Luffy finding that, need remember to warn Sanji that the dill has gone bad, no, no—ooh, black lace.'

"Feeling confident today, your majesty?"

"OUT!"

Robin chuckled as she withdrew the eye before the Cutter could make an eyepatch necessary. 'She's getting faster, good for her. Now, where was I… ah yes. No, no, n-wait… ah, there you are.'

The flower-woman harrumphed with grudging respect as she returned to herself. "Credit where it's due, for all that she's a brat she does indeed have a brain. It's hidden in a compartment in the crow's nest."

"Smart, hidden in the place she's already taking over," Cross nodded in agreement. "Now all you need to do is get the witch to pity the princess."

Yet another liberty her friends had granted her: Robin could smile with honest eagerness whenever she chose, a fact she indulged in as she flipped her newly acquired knife out and ghosted her fingers just over the blade. "I love a good challenge," she purred eagerly.

-o-

Ensconced within the Thousand Sunny's aft-cabin library, Nami was hunched over a table, slowly and intently drawing her fountain pen over the sketch lines of a new map. This one was of Jaya—and briefly, she lamented how behind she'd gotten with her maps—and it was really quite astonishing how obvious it was that half the island had just been… chopped off. Yeah, yeah, eliminate the impossible and all that, but it was the Grand fucking Line, for Aeolus' sake!

Shaking her head, Nami dispelled the thought rather than descend into another rant over the stupidity of the common person, which was pleasantly easy these days, and refocused on her inking.

"KYAAAAAAA!"

"SONNUVA—!"

Nami snarled venomously as she recovered from her heart nearly jumping clean out of her chest on account of a sudden feminine scream shattering her concentration. Her rage originated from the fact that the shriek had caused her hand to spasm from shock and tear a long line of ink across the paper before she'd flung the pen against the—

She blinked. Actually, make that through the wall, with almost a quarter of the pen lodged in the wood.

"Huh," she remarked, glancing down at her arms and flexing them. "All that work with Donny is actually paying off…"

She then scowled as she clamped her hand into a fist. "The better to give someone a piece of my mind and actually have it stick for once!"

So saying, Nami stomped out of the library to find out what catastrophe had resulted in such a scream and, more importantly, ruined her map. And while 'life-size teddy bear stuck in the rigging' wasn't even on the list of possible reasons, Nami wasn't much surprised; it was positively mundane compared to the typical Grand Line insanity.

What did surprise her, however, was the sight of a very frantic and, more importantly, very corporeal Perona trying and failing to scramble her way up the lines after said bear. And by 'failing', Nami was honestly unsure how she'd managed to tie herself up that way without any help. Were she of a more liberal disposition, she'd say that Perona had somehow managed to truss herself up like a cured ham prepped for shipment.

"—prepped for shipment!"

That drew her gaze back down to the deck, where a small crowd of crewmembers was busy snickering up at Perona's attempts to get at the bear, with more than a few bills swapping hands. "And you guys aren't helping… why?"

"Hey, she said she could handle it," Franky said, a touch defensively. "And none of us want to find out what getting hit with those Negative Hollows Cross mentioned feels like."

"Spoiler alert: it sucks!" Donny concurred with a frantic nod.

"AGREED!" Chopper and—Brook's head? Apparently? Eesh, this crew—piped up fearfully.

"That still—ERGH!—stands!" Perona snarled viciously as she yanked at the lines pinning her leg behind her back. "I'll—GRAH!—dance on each of your graves before I let you—SONNUVA!—TOUCH MY BEAR—WAGH!"

The Ghost Princess's tirade devolved into a terrified shriek when the lines suddenly unwound and unceremoniously dumped the hollow-girl clean overboard.

"WHOA, WATCH IT!"

Or rather, nearly dumped her overboard, thanks to Nami being close enough to dash over and grab her wrist before she could hit the drink.

The navigator wheezed with exertion as she braced her foot against the bulwark in an effort to keep her balance. "You really take that 'let them eat cake' stuff to heart, I take it?!" she grit out.

"You freaking—!" Perona snarled venomously, a Hollow bubbling into existence in her palm. "Let me go, you uncute—!"

SPLASH!

Her protests, Hollow, and composure all died at once as a spray of sea foam blasted her. "PULL ME UP! PULL ME UP!"

"As you wish, your highness," Nami ground out with all the snark she could muster. With one final yank, the navigator hauled her load up, grabbed her other arm, and then yanked her up and over the side and onto the deck, where Perona immediately began kissing the lawn.

"I never thought I'd be so happy to be back on your crummy—!"

"AHEM!" Merry 'subtly' intoned from where she was standing on the foredeck's railing.

"Er, I mean delightfully cute ship again?" Perona hastily corrected.

"Better~!" Merry sang as she returned to her duties.

"Yeah, well…" Nami huffed as she got her breath back in her, not used to exerting that much of her strength. "If you pull anything that stupid again, you'll be taking the express route off our 'cute ship'. Seriously, what the hell were you thinking!?"

Perona got to her feet. It looked like she then tried to jump back to the lines again, but she didn't have the strength for it, her body almost entirely devoid of energy due to her struggles. The end result was that she staggered on her feet as she looked back up at where her bear was caught in the line, her expression more anguished than angered. "I-I couldn't—! I had to—! I-I need to get Bearsy, I need—!"

Nami rolled her eyes in exasperation, pointedly ignoring the Princess' melodrama. "Ergh, if you want that ratty thing so bad then I can just get it for you. Hang tight."

"Wha—NO!" Perona spat viciously. "Don't you dare touch my—!"

"Oh, do you ever shut the hell up?" Nami groaned more to herself than anything, ignoring the Hollow-girl in favor of clambering her way up the Sunny's rigging. The navigator might not have had the muscle of the rest of the crew, nor anywhere near as much experience working ship lines, but she was still familiar with the workings; you had to be to properly direct a ship. As such, it was child's play to reach the threadbare bear—Nami took a second to slap herself upside the head for the mental pun—unwind it from its bonds, and drop back down to the deck. "There, done. You happy n—?"

"BEARSY!" THWACK!

"GAH!" Nami grunted in shock when she was suddenly bodychecked into the ground. She raised her head with a snarl the second she had her bearings back. "What the hell is your—!?" Said snarl died in her throat when she actually saw Perona.

The guest on the ship was on her knees, trembling miserably, hunched over the ragged bundle of cloth that was almost twice as big as she was, a millimeter away from breaking out into full-blown sobs as she ran her fingers along the tears in his cloth. "No… no, Bearsy… n-not again… p-please, not again… B…Bearsy…"

Nami's jaw worked up and down at the display, trying and failing to come up with a proper reaction to what she was seeing. Finally, her heartstrings twisted in just such a way that she knew she didn't have any other option. She slowly got to her feet, inched her way over to the Princess, and tapped her on the shoulder. "Hey…"

Perona jerked Bearsy away and snarled at the Straw Hat. "Don't you fucking dare—!"

"I can sew… him up for you."

And just like that, Perona froze in place, blinking tearfully at the pirate. "Y-You… wait, wha—?"

"I was the first woman on this crew of psychotics," Nami continued in a placating tone. "If I didn't know my way around a needle and thread, we'd have been buck naked in days. I can stitch Bearsy up for you and get him good as new. And… he's hollow, right?"

Perona sniffled, nodding jerkily.

"Then I can probably turn him inside out somewhat, store all his mass inside himself. That way, you can carry him around with you without any problems and you won't have to worry about losing him." Nami smiled kindly as she rested her hand on the ex-pirate's shoulder. "Does that sound good? Is that alright with you?"

A weak hiccup was followed by an almost inaudible mumble from the ghost girl.

"Alright, then," Nami said, taking Perona's hand and slowly helping her to her feet. "Come on, we'll go to the women's room. It's where I keep my supplies and we'll have some privacy there."

As they started to make their way across the deck, Nami subtly glanced over her shoulder to glare at her crew, and instead blinked in surprise to find that they'd all long since dispersed, with only Robin looking even remotely in their direction. Upon noticing Nami's gaze, the archaeologist simply smiled and winked before walking away.

Briefly, Nami considered puzzling out whatever was going through crewmate's head, but she just as swiftly dismissed the notion with a shudder. She wanted to keep what little sanity she had left, thank you very much!

Perona was silent as they entered the ship and settled in the women's room, sitting on the bed and practically strangling Bearsy as Nami retrieved her sewing kit. She considered putting him on her desk, but once she realized how white-knuckled Perona's grip on the bear was, she instead conceded to laying him out on her bed instead, with the Hollow-girl reluctantly swapping her grip on the deflated doll for a pillow that she hugged to her chest.

After a few minutes of examining the damage, Nami retrieved a soft brown thread that matched the animal's coat and began threading the needle through the first tear. As she continued sewing, she turned the bear's appearance and condition over before coughing politely. "So… Bearsy, you said his name was?"

Perona made a slight sound in the affirmative.

Nami nodded. She looked the bear over again before glancing at the Ghost Princess. "So… he's… a bit of a creepy little guy, huh?"

Good news, bad news: Good news, that actually got a new reaction out of Perona. Bad news? Said reaction was a vicious twitch and an even more vicious scowl. "Bearsy isn't creepy, he's cute," she bit out.

"Sorry!" Nami hastily placated. Really, what else could she say to that? The girl looked ready to bite her head off. "I didn't mean anything by it, there's nothing wrong with it. Some people like creepy—!"

"He's not creepy he's CUTE!" Perona suddenly roared out of the blue, her face a rictus of rage.

"Okay okay, he's cute, he's cute!" Nami nodded rapidly, keeping a wary eye on the astral matter that was starting to bubble from Perona's body. "You're right, I'm wrong. He's very cute."

Perona stayed frozen in place, chest heaving as she slowly came down from her outburst, re-burying her face in her pillow. "He's cute," she repeated weakly, though at this point Nami wasn't entirely certain who Perona was speaking to. "Bearsy is cute, he has to be cute. He has to be… He… creepy… creepy has to be cute… because… if he isn't…" She lapsed into silence, shuddering and clutching the pillow like a life preserver.

Nami kept a wary eye on Perona, but she kept working in diligent silence for the next few minutes, carefully removing what traces of flesh remained in Bearsy and stitching up the more obvious rips in his fabric and pelt.

After she finished resecuring the bear's arm, Nami cast a tentative glance towards Perona. "I… I really am sorry, you know," she tried softly. "What I said was insensitive, and I should have known better. I…" Nami faltered slightly, but after a moment's debate she made her decision. "I know… how important something like Bearsy can be."

A derisive snort sounded out, and Nami was suddenly doubly thankful for what Kalifa had put her through, because if Perona had snorted like that in front of the old Nami, she'd have had her head ripped off.

As it was she calmed herself down with a slow, methodical breath before nodding her head at a nearby dresser. "The top drawer, there's a false back."

Perona eyed her doubtfully but nevertheless complied; she got up, worked the drawer open and jimmied open the back. And what she found within made her tilt her head in confusion. "Uh… what… is…" She held up the tiny shirt she'd found and looked over the design on its chest. "Is this supposed to be a sunflower or—?"

"It's a lion," Nami replied softly, her fingers continuing their work even as her voice was quivered with emotion. "We… my family… we didn't have a lot… of anything except love and tangerines, really. That shirt, it used to be my sister's before she outgrew it. My mother redesigned it for me, and…" Nami shook her head with a sardonic chuckle. "Brat that I was, we got in a fight over it. I was an idiot, I said such stupid things and then…"

Nami was forced to come to a stop as her shivers became too much, her fingers bunching up the bear's pelt. "And then… Arlong and his crew came and took over my village. And I had… barely enough time to apologize to my mother before…" Nami lapsed into silence as she shook her head; some pain was too deep-seated for anything to wash away.

"…Go figure," Perona finally responded, gently returning the shirt to its place. "And here I was thinking you were an idiot for wanting to get rich all the time."

Nami turned to look at Perona, whose face had darkened some as she looked to the side. She didn't elaborate, and after a few moments, Nami returned to her repairs, the silence far more comfortable. Finally, as she moved to the last tear, the ghost princess sighed.

"I was born the youngest daughter of a wealthy family," she said without preamble. "Four older sisters, and five older brothers. Nice and uniform, just the way my parents liked it. I had anything I wanted…" Perona's face twisted up in a scowl. "Except anyone who actually cared about me, all because of what I liked."

Nami glanced at her in polite askance.

Perona narrowed her eyes scornfully as she twisted up the sheets in her fists. "While my sisters all dressed up in their ugly dresses and played with their ugly dolls… I liked cute things. I liked cute dresses, cute dolls… but everyone else hated them. They said they were ugly, that they were creepy…" The pinkette raised her hands and gazed longingly at the Hollows that swirled up around her, cackling and giggling obliviously as they lavished brainless praise on their Princess. "And then I ate my fruit, met my friends… and things became so much worse."

Perona curled in on herself as her friends hovered around her, laughing as they raised their arms in a facsimile of a hug, though they kept well away from actually touching her. "They moved my room to the lowest basement… took Bearsy away and…" She trailed off listlessly for a moment, her gaze far off. "Said that I would only get to come out if I got rid of the creepy toys… that it was a shame because I was so cute…" She dug her fingers into her legs. "But… but they just didn't get it. They didn't understand that my friends… my toys, my clothes, everything… they were cute. I chose them because they were cute, I chose them because… because…"

"Because they reminded you of yourself."

Perona glanced at Nami in surprise, but after a second of silence she nodded in tearful confirmation.

Nami shook her head sadly. "Creepy is cute. What others call creepy has to be cute. Bearsy has to be cute, because if he isn't…"

"Then I'm creepy too…" Perona completed weakly, nodding in confirmation. "And nobody loves a creepy haunted freak." the girl then unwound slightly and knocked the back of her head against the wall. "Nobody except the giant twisted bastard who came to town one day, wrecked the mansion, and said he found my powers interesting. Who cares if it was only because I was useful to him? He was the one person in the world who actually cared for me… for me. That's…" Perona let out a cracked chuckle. "That's gotta count for… for something, right?"

Nami seriously doubted that Cross knew any of what she had just learned. But regardless of what he had seen, she now understood a lot more why he had given Perona a vote of confidence. Smiling softly, she finished the final stitch and held out the repaired and minimized bear to its owner. "There's at least one other person who cares about you, Perona," she said.

"BEARSY!" Perona cried, snatching the doll and hugging him to her chest with a joyful sob. "Oh, thank you thank you thank you so much…"

"No problem," Nami nodded with a polite smile before dropping her hand on Perona's shoulder. "And… I did say at least, you know." Her smile grew fond as Perona looked up at her in shock. "I've gotta admit… now that he's not a giant murderbear, Bearsy really does look very cute."

"I… ah…" Perona fumbled around slightly with her words before glancing away with a cough. "Your… mother did good work with that shirt, too. Your… your mom must have loved you a lot."

Nami glanced away. "…More than life itself," she confirmed, a tear slipping down her face. Shaking her head lightly, she turned back towards the ship's guest, a change in subject mercifully jumping out at her as she took in the look of her skin. "Hey, your tanning technique is, ah… kind of impractical, you'll end up looking all lopsided. If you want, I could… teach you, maybe, or…?"

Perona perked up eagerly. "R-Really? That'd be great, thanks! I'll go wait for you near the- ah, by your tangerines!"

"Alright, be right there!" Nami waved with a smile, before slumping and sighing to herself as the door closed. Still, she'd wait a couple of minutes to compose herself before she got changed and headed out. After that… well, it looked like her maps would have to wait for yet another day, though damned if she could find it in herself to be resentful of the fa—

Nami sat bolt upright as she realized what had been bothering her the whole time she was working on the bear: the library was soundproof. The door had been closed and the windows shut, so the only way that the sound of Perona's scream could have gotten in was… Cross's… pipe system…

And just like that, everything clicked as she remembered what Robin's new weapon was and how smooth the slits in Bearsy had been. Then there was the fact that Perona couldn't have possibly gotten that tangled or tired in the lines in the time it took her to get there…

She sighed again, shaking her head in exasperation but incapable of hiding her fond smile. "Those devious bastards…" Nami lamented to herself. "It takes a special kind of sneaky to not only manipulate a person, but make that person not care that they're being manipulated…"

Nami then looked up intently. "Soundbite, do me a favor and tell Robin and Cross that I'm still going to kick their asses for this later."

"Done and done!"

"Thank you~!" Nami singsang as she started to get changed.

-o-

"Well, we knew that that was bound to happen," Cross said cheerfully, not pausing in his swinging of Funkfreed in his sword form as Soundbite laughed his non-existent ass off. "Good thing that for once, it wasn't my idea, and that Nami hardly has a prayer of getting one over on you."

Robin smiled sweetly back at him. "For your sake, Cross, I hope that you are not trying to jinx me," she simpered.

"Maybe," Cross responded. "Or maybe I have the thought in mind that most of the people on this ship have seen me humiliated and comically injured more times than I can count, whereas you have been all but untouched since Water 7, and maybe they'd be interested in a change of pace."

Robin's smile remained fixed even as a sheen of sweat formed on her brow. Wordlessly, she turned away and entered the ship, closing the door behind her. Cross snickered shamelessly, wondering to himself if that was a bluff before resuming his training. Though in his defense, it was a bit hard to concentrate due to the show going on at the other end of the deck.

-o-

Raphey panted as she strained her hearing for the telltale sound of rubber stretching, wishing as she did so that it was only something as trivial as Usopp's rubber bands. But noooo, Boss had to kill two Bananagators with one punch by having Luffy combine his pipework with her reaction training. It wasn't a bad idea… you know, other than the fact that it meant she was being hit by a metal pipe with ends as hard as diamonds that was being swung by literally the strongest person on the crew.

The only thing that kept her from complaining, loudly and insistently, was the fact that, like all of Boss's training methods, it was actually working, as evidenced by the fact that she managed to block an attack from the side with a sound of clanging metal thanks to one of her sai, following which she locked the pipe in place with her second sai.

This turned out to a supremely bad idea when Luffy demonstrated his status as, to reiterate, strongest person aboard when he swung his pipe, dugong and all, and launched Raphey tail-over-skullplate into the ship's railing.

"Owww…" the female dugong whimpered, her flippers twitching minutely.

"Shake it off, Raphey!" Boss barked before turning his attention to the matter he himself was currently occupied with. "And as for you, Conis! Put your hips into it! No, not just your hips, put your whole body into it, whole body!"

And there was the other reason why Raphey wasn't complaining: because rather than handling him herself, Boss was occupied with willfully taking a few lumps of his own. He was playing defense against Conis, simultaneously blocking her weapon strikes and offering up a continuous stream of criticism. And that was working, too. Even just the glimpses Raphey had managed in between getting her ass handed to her by the, third time's the charm, strongest person on the crew showed the angel exhibiting a far tighter and more effective usage of her firearms in melee combat than she'd ever exhibited before.

And Boss wasn't just standing still during this fight either, so as to offer some training to another crewmate at the same time.

"Right snap!"

Conis swung her bazooka around and used it as a barrier to catch the snap punch Boss lashed out at her.

Boss whistled appreciatively. "Niiiice! You're getting good at this, Su!"

"And just in time for the feeling to come back to my legs! I really appreciate it!" Conis concurred with a sunny smile.

Su snorted, smirking at her friend from her shoulder perch. "I can't tell if you're being sincere or if you're finally learning how to sarcasm. Either's likely with you."

"What can I say, I'm just really happy you're getting better with your cold reading!" Conis folded her arms behind her back and started to swing back and forth on her heels. "After all, you've always had a bit of an issue with poor judgement…"

Su froze and her fur started to fluff up. "Conis, sweetie… don't. You—!"

Conis' smile didn't waver an inch. "Remember the chicken?"

"Moremoremoremore TELL ME MOOOORE!" Soundbite cackled out of the blue.

"NOOO!" Su wailed miserably.

"YES!" Conis pumped her fists and jumped for joy, her half-ton bazooka bouncing in her grip. "Finally I managed to get one over on you! Hahaha!"

"THAT'S NOT FAIR! I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT CHICKEN WAS ON, BUT IT WAS ON SOMETHING!" Su yowled as she ground her pawpads into her temple. "YOU CAN'T JUST—Boss is open."

"Wha—?" Said senior dugong blinked in confusion as he was broken out of concentrating on Raphey and Luffy's exchange.

"Sorry, Boss!"

THWACK!

"GAH!" Boss yelped as Conis sent him flying as she thwacked him with her bazooka like he was Tiger Woods' golf ball on a 500-yard tee-off.

Any other day, that small victory would have been the end of it.

This particular day, Luffy was going a bit overboard in his training, winding his arms up and letting loose on his poor training partner (read: punching bag) with a killer wind-up.

"GUM-GUM HOME—!"

THWACK! "YEEEAAARGH!"

"—run? Eh?" Luffy blinked in surprise as his body stopped rotating. "What was that?"

"A load of pain and trouble for me and my bros once he gets back…" Raphey whimpered tearfully as she traced a black dot's course through the air.

"Whoops," Luffy had the good grace to wince and scratch the back of his head with his pipe as he joined her in watching. "Nami was right, I really should start paying attention to what I'm doing in a fight. My bad!"

"Oh, dear…" Conis covered her mouth in shock. "I didn't mean for that to happen! Do you think he'll be okay?"

"Eh?" Raphey blinked as the question drew her out of her terror before waving her flipper with a scoff. "Oh, yeah, sure, he'll be fine. We dugongs are tough and he's stupid strong. So long as he hits the water—"

It was at that moment that something rammed into Boss in midair.

Conis slowly blinked in shock. "…oh, my."

Su, meanwhile, was grinning like a white devil. "This… is an unfortunate situation," she summarized, sounding like she was on the verge of breaking out into mad cackling.

Raphey swallowed heavily in agreement before raising her voice to address the rest of the crew. "Uh, hey, guys? Juuuust for the record, the next time we see a beetle?" She gestured weakly out at the insect that had hit Boss midflight. "That is the current largest that we have ever seen. Just for the record."

Cross gave the display a flat look as he walked up to the group, a sweat-soaked towel slung over his shoulders. "Why do I have a feeling that this is going to get way worse before it gets any better?"

"SO COOOOL!" Luffy finally burst out, stars beaming from his eyes. "I'm gonna go and catch it! Franky! Get a cage ready!" And just like that, before anyone could say or do anything, he shot his fist out and was gone.

Cross rolled his eyes and kept walking with a fond chuckle. "Called it."

Xomniac AN: And that's all for now, folks!

Cross-Brain AN: Those of you who speculated that we were including Strong World? You were right. However, that brings us to an issue that we need to resolve.

Last time we wrote in a movie, as you recall, we published it as one monster chapter, and unlike last time, we haven't been planning out said chapter for months with only a week or two's worth of finishing touches to put on to make it publishable, so whatever happens, it's going to be a while before we publish it.

So, we have two options: either publish it in two to three chapters, depending on length and plot progression; or publish it all at once. The latter option will take more time, but there won't be any cliffhangers part of the way through; likewise, the former option will seem to come faster, but we'll probably cut off at the best parts of the action. You know we will. But the choice is a difficult one, so what shall we do?

Why… leave it to you, of course. A poll is now open on Xomniac's profile. We will only accept votes cast there, and the poll will remain open until we publish the next chapter, which will cover the Little East Blue filler arc. At that time, the decision of the majority will stand. Until then…

? AN: So. This would have been out last night, but I insisted on looking through it and making a few last-minute suggestions. Apologies for the twelve-hour delay, however unannounced before this note. I look forward, dear readers, to meeting you all very soon.

Hornet AN: Oh, and for anyone who's been watching the news, Xomniac is currently safe from Hurricane Irma, have no fear.