On her way to the bank, Lorelai took a deep breath as she approached Luke's. As usual, she began to quicken her pace significantly as she past the diner, hoping to make it by without catching a glimpse of Luke and even better, without a chance for Luke to catch a glimpse of her. It usually worked if she picked up the pace and kept her head down, and she usually made it past the diner without seeing Luke and without Luke seeing her as far as she knew.

Today, however, it didn't work. As soon as she breezed past the door, she heard the bell jingle and heard Luke calling after her.

"Lorelai!"

She stopped in her tracks suddenly and turned to face Luke, who was looking at her with a puzzled expression.

"Luke, hi."

"In a hurry?" he questioned her pace with a smirk.

"No, uh… no, that's okay."

"What's this?" he asked, getting down to the reason he'd stopped her, holding up two tickets to a Red Sox game for her to see.

"Looks like Red Sox tickets to me. You sure you're a baseball fan? Because you think you'd know what a ticket to a game looked like if you really were."

"I know what they are," he clarified even though he knew she knew what he was really saying and was just avoiding it. "I mean, why are they here? You sent them to me."

"I know I did," she said with a sigh, wondering why he had to question this whole situation. "Didn't you read the note I sent with them?"

"Yes."

"So that explains why I sent them."

"For Father's Day?" he asked with a frown.

"Yes, for Father's Day."

"I still don't understand why…" he shrugged. "I mean after everything that's happened and… why would you send me this?"

"Because it's Father's Day and you're a father, so you get a gift. That's how it works."

"From my ex fiancée who has no children with me?"

She ignored the double pain that came at the use of ex fiancée followed by the reminder that she and Luke never got to have kids together, after all. "Fine, if you don't want them, I'll take them back," she said, reaching out for the tickets. He pulled them away and shook his head.

"No, I appreciate them, I do. I'm just confused and frankly this is just a little awkward."

"Look, Luke, I just wanted to kind of thank you for being able to put all our crap behind us on June 3rd. I wanted to be able to do the same thing for you, so I thought I'd send you these. I figured you could go with April or something. Now, she doesn't seem like a really sporty type of kid, but she might have fun. If not, maybe you could go with Jess or TJ or whoever you usually round up for baseball games. It was just supposed to be a nice gesture and that's it, and it's just," she took a deep breath, "It's your first Father's Day and I always thought I'd be apart of that." It was odd, she thought, that they were saying more to each other now that they were broken up than they had in the past year when they were struggling to make everything work.

"Oh," he said softly. "Well, thank you," he said sincerely.

"You're welcome," she sighed contemplating whether she should go on or not. Going on won. "And besides, so much happened between you and me since April came into the picture that I never really… I tried to show you by being supportive and respecting your space and letting you postpone the wedding, but all that backfired… and so I wanted you to know that I think you've been an awesome father to April so far and I think what you've done, how you jumped right in as a part of her life and were so dedicated to her, is really great."

Luke blushed slightly and looked down. "Oh. Thank you," he said again, with even more sincerity in his voice. "That means a lot to me… especially from you."

"You're welcome. I mean it. I really respect you for how you've dealt with this situation in regards to April. And I never really got the chance to show you that before. So I am now. Happy Father's Day."

Luke nodded and looked down with a sigh. "I never would have thought this is how I'd spend my first Father's Day," he admitted. "I never thought it would be to a girl who was already thirteen and that you'd be rushing past the diner as fast as you could like you always do these days," Lorelai looked down, realizing she'd been caught, "to avoid me, and that you'd be sending me tickets to a Red Sox game telling me that even though I managed to ruin our relationship because of my choices, you still respect me for what I've done with my kid?" he shrugged. "Never really what I pictured."

"Yeah," she managed a light chuckle. "Not really predictable, huh?"

"Not really. And more than that I always thought it would be…" he trailed off, not wanting to vocalize the rest of his thought.

"I know," she said quickly, reading his thoughts. "I never thought that when you first celebrated Father's Day I'd be sending you tickets as a gift for a holiday you'd be celebrating with no help from me whatsoever."

"Thank you for the tickets," he said, looking down at them in his hand before looking up at her again. "Really Lorelai, thank you."

"You're welcome. Enjoy them."

"I will," he assured her, and she was off on her way down the street, almost as fast as every other time she'd walked past the diner in the past month.

xxxxxx

"So I didn't think baseball would be your thing," Luke told April as they settled into their seats at the Red Sox game, tickets courtesy of Lorelai.

"Well, it's not, really," she confirmed. "But physics play an important part in most sports, so…"

"Right."

"And besides, who wouldn't love hot dogs and nachos?"

Luke rolled his eyes. "The cheese on those nachos is crap. It's probably right out of a can and probably contains five hundred different chemicals."

"Well, it tastes good," April said with a shrug, licking a bit of said cheese off her finger and then popping a nacho into her mouth.

"Well that's something then," Luke gave in.

"How long do you think until the Red Sox win the World Series again?"

Luke let out a sigh. "Who knows? I have a feeling it's going to be a long time before that happens again."

"Are you one of those freaky baseball fans who's so dedicated to his team that he can feel what's going to happen before it happens?"

"Nah," he said, waving the thought off. "Though I did have a feeling they'd win in '04. I knew it from the start of the playoffs."

"So you are one of those freaky fans," April raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not a freaky fan," Luke protested.

"I bet you flipped when they won," April went on. "I remember watching, and I hate sports, but everyone was so excited about it that Mom and I had to watch." She paused. "We were rooting for the Red Sox, don't worry. What was the fun in it if the Yankees won again? Anyway, we were all excited when they won, I can only imagine how you flipped."

"Yeah," Luke recalled the memory. "Lorelai thought I had been replaced by some sort of pod Luke that night when they won. That's all she kept saying. 'Where's the real Luke? My stoic Luke would never show this much emotion, especially about something on the silly TV.'"

April giggled. "Where has Lorelai been lately?"

Luke froze suddenly. "Busy. Working, spending time with Rory…"

"You haven't talked about her lately."

"Well…"

"I mean, you've never really talked about her that much to me for some reason, but after my party you were bringing her up a lot more often and then you just stopped. And you don't even get those phone calls where you start smiling and laughing and everyone knows it's Lorelai on the other end anymore. Did something happen?"

"Lorelai and I, we're just… you know, she gave us the tickets to come here today," Luke said, hoping that would make April believe that Lorelai was still around.

"I know, you told me," April rolled her eyes. "But I'm thirteen years old and I'm an honor student. I know when things are up, and something's up between you and Lorelai."

"We're just…" Luke sighed, deciding to be honest. "Well, we broke up."

April's face seemed to fall. "Why?"

"A lot of things."

"Was it because of me?" she asked suddenly, her eyes widening with worry. "You and Lorelai seemed fine at my party, so it must have been after that. It wasn't because of my party, was it?"

"No, it wasn't because of your party. Lorelai loved helping with your party."

"Then why? Was it because of me? If it was because of me, you have to tell me, Luke," she pleaded.

"It wasn't because of you," Luke told April confidently, looking her in the eyes. "It was because of me and because of Lorelai, and that's it."

"Well how come she never came into the diner when I was there?" April persisted. "She was your fiancée but she never came into the diner any of the times I was hanging out there? And how come we never did anything with her? And how come we never went over to her place, which was your place, too, right? Was she mad at me for coming into your life? Did she not want to be around me?"

"Oh God, April, no," Luke said, realizing, again, how badly his actions had impacted the people around him without him realizing. "No, that's not it at all. Lorelai wanted to get to know you, she really wanted to be around you, but I was just… I wasn't ready for that, for a lot of reasons. I wanted to get to know you first and I pushed her away for no good reason. That's why she jumped at the chance to help with your party," Luke explained. "She was so ready to meet you. She wanted to help with the party even before I couldn't make it fun. She wanted to help me pick out your gift. But I just kept saying no."

April nodded. "Okay. Just as long as it wasn't me who made her leave."

"No, it wasn't you," Luke assured April again, putting a hand on her shoulder and giving it a squeeze. "Not at all. It was me."

"I really liked Lorelai," April said, somewhat sadly. "She's really fun."

"She is," Luke agreed.

"And she's funny."

"Yeah. She is."

"And she's really pretty."

"She's gorgeous."

"It's too bad you two broke up."

"Yeah. It is," Luke sighed. "I was afraid to let her get to know you. I thought you'd like her better than me and want to spend time with her instead of me," he admitted suddenly, thinking that maybe if April had a reason for why he'd kept her and Lorelai apart that she wouldn't think it was because Lorelai didn't want to be around her.

"What?" April laughed at this as if it was impossible. "Why would I like her better?"

"Because. You just said it, she's fun and funny and pretty, not to mention crazy and smart and sweet--"

"But you're my dad," April protested, as if that explained it all and, Luke noticed, in the same way Lorelai had once told him the same thing. "And besides, I think you're pretty fun, too. And it would be weird if I thought you were pretty."

Luke smiled at that. "It was just me being irrational. And I'm sorry if I made you think she didn't want to be around you. That's not true at all."

April nodded, and Luke and April fell into a comfortable silence until a vendor selling cotton candy walked by.

"Ooh!" April's eyes widened at the cotton candy. "Dad, can we get some?"

"Oh come on, that's just pure sugar …" Luke stopped as he realized what she had said.

"It's a baseball game! Come on, I came with you here and I don't really like sports."

"Fine," Luke agreed, trying to act irritated but unable to hide his grin.

xxxxxx

After the baseball game with April (Red Sox lost, which bummed April out, but caused her to perk up when Luke told her they could come to another game soon), Luke kept hearing her words in his head, calling her 'Dad.' She'd referred to him as 'my dad,' before, but she'd never used it as his name. She'd called him Luke since that day she appeared in the diner, and he hadn't thought much of it.

However, despite the fact that he hadn't been dwelling on the fact that she called him Luke and not Dad, he was extremely beside himself when she'd bestowed the title on him.

And what hurt him the most was that his first reaction was to tell Lorelai. His immediate, subconscious reaction was that he couldn't wait to tell Lorelai. Then he remembered, they didn't do that anymore. They weren't a part of each other's lives anymore. They didn't even talk, even like friends, anymore. They didn't share things anymore.

And suddenly, he wondered, when the last time they actually did share things was. He'd completely shut her out of so many aspects of his life the last few months they were together, he hadn't even realized until she was hysterical the night they broke up. He didn't include her in his visits with April. He would have loved to, had he not been so damn insecure about April liking Lorelai more than him, which he had been sure would happen. He thought it was only fair, that he get a chance to bond with April first. After all, if he had known about April from the start, then he would have had all those years to get to know her on his own, to secure his bond with her.

But that was the thing. He hadn't been in April's life since day one. When she came into his life, Lorelai was already a part of it. And he tried to push her out to recreate those years with April that he had lost, which wasn't Lorelai's fault.

She had been right; about at least one thing that night she had asked him to elope. He was supposed to figure out how April fit into their life, their life that had already been established and that they were working on building, not how Lorelai suddenly fit into his life with April. To her he had just seemingly forgotten about everything they had been working towards, and he realized now how he came across and how much that hurt her. He had suddenly pushed her out of his life where April was concerned. It was the biggest thing that had ever happened to him, finding out he was a father, and he hadn't let her, the most important person in his life, be a part of it.

He'd come to realize all of this, how badly he had messed things up between him and Lorelai, recently. How it hadn't been fair to her, the way he had treated her. How it had hurt her so much, and he began to understand why she had been so upset. How, despite all her pain, and despite how much she wanted to be let in and how much she wanted to get married, she went along with Luke's ideas of how to deal with the April situation, and she went along with postponing the wedding, because she was trying to be supportive.

And he hadn't paid one damn bit of attention to her or what she was doing for him.

He'd turned her into this messed up, sad, upset, confused, insecure person.

And he hadn't even taken the time to care.

He pulled up at the Nardini house, April chattering excitedly about the game in the passenger seat.

"… and I know I said I don't like sports, but maybe baseball is kind of fun!"

Luke chuckled. "Well, you've got the gear now," he noted, gesturing to the Red Sox cap on her head, backwards of course, and the big foam finger she'd insisted she had to have to prove she'd been to a sporting event, on her hand.

"And I've never even been to Boston," she stated. "In fact, I've been to New York tons of times. But I think I'm a Red Sox girl. Besides, you're a Red Sox fan, so that's reason enough to be one."

Luke noted the adoration in April's eyes, and for the first time he realized that she was truly his daughter and he was her father, and not in the awkward way they had been for many months. Suddenly she was the kid who didn't like sports but would go to a game to spend time with her dad and who would root for his team just because it was his. And he was the guy who would grin at the word 'Dad,' and buy all kinds of crap for his kid on a special outing, just because he liked that it made her smile the way she did.

"I better get inside," April said.

"I'll walk you," Luke offered.

"No bad guys are lurking in the bushes, we've been over this before."

"I know," Luke assured her, "but it's the right thing to do. What kind of dad lets his kid walk to the door alone?"

April smiled and shrugged and hopped out of the truck and headed up the steps, Luke following her. She used her key to open the door and they found Anna right on the other side, passing by with a basket of laundry.

"Hi Mom!"

"Wow, look at you," Anna laughed, shifting the laundry basket to a more comfortable position. "I take it you had a good time."

"I had a blast!" April agreed. "Oh, can you tell Lorelai thanks for the tickets?" April asked Luke suddenly, either not remembering their break up or not realizing the extent of it.

"Oh, uh… sure," Luke agreed.

"April, Honey, Freddy called today while--"

"Freddy called?" April squeaked, staring at her mother. "He called here?"

"He sure did."

"Oh man, and it's too late to call him back," she grumbled, looking at the clock. Suddenly she perked up. "I'm gonna go see if he's online!" she declared, running off towards her room. "Thanks, Dad, for everything," she called over her shoulder.

"Did she just call you Dad?" Anna asked, raising her eyebrows. "Wow."

"Yeah, she uh… just started doing that," Luke explained somewhat awkwardly. He was never really quite sure where Anna's head was when it came to his relationship with April. "It's nice."

"Yeah, it is," Anna said softly. "Kind of strange for me to hear her say it, but it is nice for her. And for you," Anna added and Luke nodded. "So Lorelai gave you the tickets to the game today?"

"Yeah. She did, they were a Father's Day thing."

"Very cool," Anna agreed. "I haven't heard much about Lorelai lately," Anna added. "From you or from April."

"Yeah, well, things between Lorelai and I have been kind of shaky."

"Shaky?"

Luke shrugged. "I was a jerk to her and it finally caught up with us."

"Did you two break up?" Anna asked, and Luke's long pause was answer enough. "I knew it."

"You knew what?"

"When Lorelai came here to talk to me after April's party she was so sure you two were permanent and stable… but I guess I was right. I could feel it. That's why I told her that I'd feel better waiting on her forming any kind of relationship with April until after you two were actually married."

"No, no, you don't get to do that," Luke said suddenly. "You don't get to think you're right when you helped create this whole mess."

"I had nothing to do with this whole mess," Anna protested.

"I can't believe you told Lorelai that she couldn't get to know April. No wonder she started acting so strange. No wonder she wanted to elope all of a sudden…"

"What?" Anna frowned, putting the basket of laundry down. "You and Lorelai eloped? I thought you broke up."

"What you said to her that day, it had an impact on her. She never told me that she came to see you until way after the fact, she started acting weird, and she started panicking. And now part of the reason why is becoming clear. You were part of it."

"I didn't mean to upset her," Anna said sincerely. "It seemed like she understood what I was saying, she said that she has a daughter, too, she seemed to be able to relate."

"I'm sure she could," Luke agreed. "She was the same way with Rory, she never wanted her to get attached to someone who could suddenly be out of her life. So here I was, shutting her out of everything with April because I was so confused, postponing the wedding while I focused on April, and then I finally let her in and it worked so well, the three of us, and her and April, and then she finds out that you don't want her around her kid so again she's shut out of a part of my life, this time not by my choice. So she figures that the way to fix that is to get married so you'll allow her in. Get married and everything will be better. Jeez, no wonder."

"Luke…" Anna tried to jump in.

"Look, I know you raised April for twelve years on your own, and you love her more than anything. Believe me, I get that. But you didn't even give me the chance to raise her or be a part of her life in any sort of way. So I'm just learning now how to be a father. And I screw up sometimes, you've seen that a few times already. But it's not fair for you to come down so hard on me when I screw up when you're the one that took away my chance to learn how to be a father before April was thirteen."

"When have I ever come down hard on you?" Anna asked, putting her hands on her hips.

"When I was nervous about April first coming to the diner," Luke shot back. "You said maybe we should rethink our arrangement. And then when you found out that Lorelai was the one with the girls at the sleepover, you just came and yelled at me, not to mention you made it seem like I had to be careful with your kid, and forgot that she's my kid, too. She is my kid, too, you know. Just because I missed those first twelve years, not by choice by the way, shouldn't mean I'm not allowed to be a real father to her and make choices about who she's with when she's with me."

"Okay, Luke, I'm sorry," Anna apologized. "Just calm down."

"I am calm," he told her with a sigh. "I am. It just drives me crazy that you don't think of me as responsible enough to be a father to April. You didn't then and you don't now. You kept her from me, and now you don't even give me enough authority as a parent to be able to decide if I think it's okay for April to be around my best friend in the entire world, who just happens to be my fiancée of a year, who I've been with for two, and who I've been friends with for ten."

"I had no idea that you and Lorelai were that…" she couldn't find the word she was looking for. "Established. You never even told me you had a Lorelai. You never said anything to me about Lorelai. Call me crazy, but if you had someone that important in your life, wouldn't you have mentioned her?"

"You would think," Luke began to realize that he'd misled so many people lately. "But I was confused and I handled all of this wrong. I didn't tell you about Lorelai and I took too long telling Lorelai about April. I just didn't know what to do, how to handle all this, and I'm sorry for that. But that doesn't change the fact that you can't go around making judgments on my relationships with people and whether or not the relationship is stable enough to bring April into it. I get to decide that if she's going to really be a part of my life. I know I haven't known her for a long time, but I'd never want to see her hurt and I'd never put her into a position to get hurt. Lorelai and I were stable. We were good. The odds of us breaking up suddenly like we did were slim. But it happened. That's life, we have to deal with it, April included. Otherwise, what's the choice? Never have my daughter meet my fiancée until after the wedding? She doesn't even get to come to the wedding? It wasn't like I'd dated Lorelai a couple times and it was a brand new thing, she was my fiancée. Parents don't do that, they don't keep their kid from meeting the person who will be their stepmother," Luke's words rang true on more than one level. He knew he was being somewhat hypocritical, being that he had kept April from getting to know her future stepmother for months. "But you don't think of me as her parent, right?"

"It's just new for me, that's all," Anna replied carefully, playing with the hem of her t-shirt. "April is my life, and it's hard for me to deal with someone else suddenly being allowed to make choices concerning her well being. I'm sorry. I screw up as far as this whole thing is concerned, too. It's hard for me, too, and I don't know how to handle it either. I'm sorry."

Luke sighed. "No, I'm sorry. This isn't your fault and I'm just… I'm frustrated."

"I never meant to give you the impression that I don't think of you as April's parent. It's just hard for me to adjust, and I'm going to try harder not to behave like that."

Luke sighed. "Thank you. I'd appreciate it."

"And I never meant to cause problems for you and Lorelai."

"I know," Luke assured her.

"I think we all have to work together," Anna said. "You and me and Lorelai and April. This is confusing and new for all of us."

"Well none of that matters now," Luke said. "Lorelai and I aren't getting married anymore."

"I am sorry to hear that, Luke," Anna said sincerely.

Luke nodded. "I should go. Tell April I'll call her this weekend."

"Sure thing. I'll see you later."

As Luke walked away, he thought about how much he had screwed up. From realizing how he'd misled April and Anna… he could only imagine what Lorelai herself had been thinking and feeling.

How had he messed up so much? And why was he taking steps to fix it, doing what he should have done before, after it was already too late?

tbc...