A/N: Since BWR isn't validating right now, you see it here first! ;) Sorry for the length of this one… way long. But worth it, hopefully! ;)

Rory was due home from London the night of August 17th, and Lorelai had intended to pick her up, until she got a call saying Paris was picking her up because she was taking an earlier plane than originally planned and she knew that her mother had a meeting at the inn that morning.

Truth be told, she was somewhat nervous about seeing Rory. They had talked on the phone plenty while Rory was in London, and their fight from the day she left was long put behind them. But a part of her was nervous about seeing Rory in person after that fight. The things that had been said had made her look at things in a new light, and she wasn't surprised that Rory had snapped at her the way she had–she had known that what happened between her and Luke was similar to what Rory and Logan had gone through, but she hadn't thought about how that might make Rory identify with Luke more than she seemed to let on at first.

"Mom?" Rory called, opening the door to the house. "Mom, are you home? I see the Jeep outside."

Paul Anka scampered to Rory's side and Rory laughed. "Hey there buddy," she said, petting him.

"Rory?" Lorelai called. "Is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me!" Rory called back. "I'm back!"

Lorelai came down the stairs a second later. "Aww, there's my kid. Hey, you look older."

Rory laughed. "I was only gone five weeks, Mom."

"A lot can happen in five weeks. That's more than a third of a trimester of a pregnancy. Imagine how much a baby can grow in five weeks?"

Rory shook her head and gave her mother a hug. "I missed you!"

"I missed you, too," Lorelai said, "Even though I talked to you like every day."

Rory laughed. "Hey, Mom--"

"It's okay, Rory, forget it. We already talked about this."

"I know, but those things I said…" Rory sighed. "I just wanted to apologize in person. I am sorry."

"I know. And it's okay. I'm sorry, too, I had no right to want you to stay with me just because I was upset, let alone tell you that. I wasn't being a good mother, I was being a needy friend, and that wasn't fair. And hey, look, I survived just fine."

Rory laughed. "Good, glad to hear it."

"And Rory… I am sorry. About Luke. I didn't think that that might affect you, too, but it does, I get that. He's always been important to us, not just me, and lately I've kind of forgotten that, I've seen him as mine."

Rory waved her off. "It's okay. I was just being emotional and I'd just seen him a week or so before I snapped. I understand."

Lorelai nodded and was eager to move them away from this topic. "So, how was the goodbye with Logan?"

Rory sighed. "Hard. But he should be coming home… well, here… for Thanksgiving. So I'll see him then, hopefully, if all goes well."

"That's good. That's not too far off, just a few months."

"Yeah, that's true," Rory agreed. "Okay, so. I don't start school for eleven days. Any ideas on how to fill them? I bet we could cram a looot of movies in. I have some suggestions on which ones they should be, too."

Lorelai laughed. "I'm all ears."

xxxxxx

After their eleven days of special bonding time, Rory returned to her apartment in New Haven and threw herself into her classes, as usual, still determined to catch up from the missed semester, still determined to graduate on time in just about nine months.

Once Rory was back in school, Lorelai noticed how the days didn't seem quite the same as they had before when Rory was in school. The break up with Luke might have had something to do with that. Her kid was a senior in college, and she hadn't not been with Luke since Rory was a freshman. Even last year when things got complex between her and Luke, they still strived for a sense of normalcy at times, eating dinner together or hanging out together, even if it was strained at time. That was all gone, now, and it seemed strange. Having extra time with Luke when Rory was in school had become routine the past two years.

But what got her the most, she realized, was the missing friend. She missed being able to hang out at the diner and have someone to talk to and tease. She missed being able to pop in for a cup of coffee on a break from the inn and spend a few minutes confusing Luke with her newest philosophy of life. Because that… that had been a part of her life for as long as she could remember by this point. It seemed like that had always been a part of her regular routine, more so when Rory went off to college and she had extra time to kill. There seemed to be something missing from her daily routine, just as it had been missing all summer. She would wake up, go to work, come home… with no stops at the diner, no time spent with Luke, day after day.

For some reason it was just feeling more noticeable, more permanent, after Rory had officially gone back to school. Or maybe it was because it was starting to feel normal, not seeing Luke, which freaked her out and made her realize that this routine was becoming permanent. But time went on, and her routine continued on without Luke, and continued to become more and more normal.

It was a busy Wednesday at the diner when the phone rang, interrupting Luke's flow of grabbing orders, delivering them to tables and collecting checks.

"Luke's!" Luke answered quickly, his attention still focused on the order he was looking for.

"Hello, I'm looking for a Luke Danes?" a voice, so formal it made Luke take notice, replied.

"I'm Luke Danes."

"Oh, Mr. Danes," the woman began. "I'm Rhonda from Hartford Memorial Hospital, and we've just admitted a Lorelai Gilmore--"

"Lorelai?" he asked, suddenly completely focused on the phone conversation, his voice full of concern. "Why? What happened?"

"…for acute appendicitis." The nurse finished. "She's fine, but she's in surgery right now."

"Well if she's in surgery she's not fine, is she?" Luke protested with a grumble.

"We admitted her to surgery right away," the nurse went on. "She was alone so we didn't have a chance to get any information from her before she went into surgery, except for the fact that she had been here July of 2005 for stitches, so we pulled up her file and you're her emergency contact." Leave it to Lorelai to go to the hospital without anyone he thought with a sigh.

"Right," Luke said, recalling her visit to the ER last summer after a stint in trying to help Sookie cook. "Last July. Of course." He rolled his eyes a bit, remembering that.

"So if you'd like to come down…" the nurse said. "And also, if you could check over her records and tell us if any information is outdated."

"Like the emergency contact?" Luke grumbled.

"I'm sorry?"

"Nothing, no, sorry," Luke said quickly. "I'll be right there."

xxxxxx

"How is she?" were the first words out of Luke's mouth when he arrived at the hospital.

"I'm sorry, you are?"

"Luke Danes," Luke said. "Someone called me about Lorelai Gilmore. I'm her emergency contact?"

"Oh, right, of course!" the nurse replied. "I was the one who spoke to you on the phone," she added.

"Oh, great, right," Luke said, reaching out to shake her hand. "Is Lorelai okay?"

"She's fine. She just came out of surgery a little while ago. Everything went well."

"Great, good, okay, so… she's okay?"

"She's fine. This is a very common procedure. She should be able to go home in about two days."

"Wow, okay, that's good," Luke said with a nod.

"She's in room 119 if you want to see her, which I'm sure you do," the nurse said, pointing Luke in the general direction of the room. "She should already be awake, but if she's not she should be awake soon."

Luke nodded. "Thanks." He turned in the direction the nurse had pointed him in before turning back to face her. "Uh, do I have to see her?"

The nurse looked confused. "What?" she asked with a frown.

It wasn't until he said it out loud that Luke realized how stupid the thought was. That wasn't him. That wasn't him and Lorelai. "No, sorry, never mind," he told the nurse. "119?"

"119," she confirmed.

He made his way to room 119 and stood outside of it for a good five minutes, unsure of how to proceed. Would Lorelai even want him there? Would she freak out? What was he supposed to say to her? They hadn't had many wonderful encounters in the past few months. With the exception of June 3rd and the conversation about the Father's Day tickets, he hadn't even seen her much, and usually when he did it involved arguing or awkwardness.

But he kept coming back to the feeling he'd felt when he'd heard she was in the hospital. He kept coming back to the feeling he was feeling now, just wanting to see for himself that she was, in fact, okay.

He opened the door slowly, giving a slight knock before stepping inside the room, in case she was awake.

She was.

"Lorelai?" he said softly, stepping inside.

She looked in his direction and blinked a few times, as if she thought she was seeing things. "Luke?"

"Yeah. Hey."

"Hi," she said softly, the surprise evident from her tone.

"Seems like you've had quite a day, huh?" Luke teased.

"Ugh," she moaned, leaning her head back against the pillow. "Seriously." She was quiet for a moment before asking, "What are you doing here?"

"They called me," he said, taking a seat next to her bed. "I guess they were too busy rushing you in to surgery to get information from you except that you'd been here before, so they looked up your most recent forms and I was your emergency contact."

"Oh right," she said. "Last year, when I had to get the stitches on my finger."

"Thanks to Sookie."

Lorelai laughed a little, "I told you, it wasn't entirely her fault."

"Sookie's on a first name basis with everyone in every hospital, the woman is a walking disaster."

"Still, I wanted to help."

"She shouldn't have let you use that food processor."

"I wanted to!"

"We've had this conversation before, and it always ends the same way, so maybe we should just give it up now," Luke realized.

"Maybe," Lorelai chuckled.

"Why did you come here yourself?" Luke asked. "Weren't you at work? You couldn't have said to someone 'Hey, I think I might have appendicitis'?"

"First of all, I didn't realize that's what it was, and second of all, no, I was at home. I thought maybe it was just a really bad stomach flu, food poisoning or something, so I came here. It got really bad on the way, and as soon as I got here they knew what it was and said I needed to go into surgery as soon as possible."

"Oh," he said. "Still, you should have told someone you were going to the hospital."

"So why did you come?" she asked, changing the subject back to Luke.

"I told you, they called me."

"I know, but why did you still come? Why didn't you just call Rory or Sookie and let them deal with me? Why didn't you just ignore the call and leave me to fend for myself?"

"Well, because for one, I'd never do that to anyone, let alone you, and two, I was worried about you, I wanted to see for myself that you were okay."

"How do you do it, Luke?" she asked softly.

"Do what?"

"How do you still worry about me and care about me even after I've hurt you so much?"

"It's not really in my control," he explained with a sigh. "I just feel what I feel. And when I got a call saying you were in the hospital, let me tell you, I didn't feel so good. And besides, you don't think I know that I've hurt you just as much?"

She opened her mouth to say something when the door swung open and a doctor came in.

"Ms. Gilmore," he said. "You're looking good."

Lorelai nodded. "Yeah, sure, but I've definitely felt better."

The doctor chuckled. "Well, according to the labs and my chart here, you're doing very well. I'm thinking you'll be okay to go home in a day or two. Do you have stairs at your house?"

"Stairs?" she frowned, confused by his sudden question. "Uh, yes."

"Any need to go up them?"

"Well, the bathroom is up there," Lorelai realized. "And the bedroom."

"Sometimes going up stairs too often after an appendectomy can cause damage to the wound. But as long as you have someone with you for the first few days to help you out, you should be fine to go home in a day or so."

"Oh," Lorelai said, feeling the awkwardness of the situation fall upon the room, especially with Luke sitting there. "Well then maybe I should stay here longer because I don't really have anyone to--"

"I'll be with her," Luke told the doctor, interrupting Lorelai, and she looked at him in surprise.

"You will be?" she asked, confused. "Really?"

"Yes, of course." He said this as if it was last July, and they were still the couple they had been a year ago, as if the past few months had never happened.

"Okay, that's wonderful then," the doctor said. "Just to make sure she doesn't have to climb the stairs too often and make sure no fevers develop or anything like that. But we'll discuss this more in a day or so. For now, Linda should be in to check your blood pressure in a few minutes."

Lorelai nodded and smiled at the doctor before he left the room, then she turned back to Luke.

"You don't have to do this," she insisted seriously. "You don't have to take care of me. I'm sure Rory would be willing to help."

"Rory has school."

"But--"

"But nothing. Rory has school and I have nothing I can't get out of."

"Why are you doing this?" she asked, still confused. "Why are you taking care of me? Why are you here?"

"Why do you think?"

"I don't know!" she said. "I hurt you, Luke, remember? I hurt you, and now you're taking care of me? It doesn't make any sense."

He took a hand and gently tilted her chin up to look at him. "Yes. You hurt me," he agreed. "But I also hurt you. Lately I've come to realize how much."

"But--"

"And beyond everything, you're my friend. Remember how we put everything aside on June 3rd and were just friends again?" she nodded. "That's what this is now. I would never leave my friend alone in the hospital."

She nodded. "I'd love to keep pressing you on this, but I really don't feel so hot."

He chuckled. "Sleep. Rest. I'm going to call Rory again, I left her a message a little while ago, but I think she was in class."

Lorelai nodded. "Most likely."

"So rest, and I'll be right back, and I'm sure Rory will be here soon."

"Luke?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

He smiled at her in answer. "Anytime."

"Oh, and Luke?"

He turned to face her again. "Yeah?"

"Is there any way you could check on Paul Anka and feed him for me?" she asked, shyly, as if she was embarrassed to have to depend on him.

"Already on my to do list," he notified her, and she smiled and nodded knowingly before placing her head on the pillow again and closing her eyes.

xxxxxx

"When they said no stairs, I think they meant a lot of stairs, all the time," Lorelai protested as Luke refused to let her walk up her few front steps.

"They didn't say that," he countered. "They said to avoid stairs as much as possible. If you can avoid these stairs, why wouldn't you?"

"Luke, come on, there's like four stairs, I can handle that."

"Fine," Luke grumbled, taking her keys from her and heading up the steps himself. "But take them slowly, okay?" he insisted, unlocking the door and leaving her to climb the stairs, slowly.

"See?" she said, when she passed him on the way into the house. "I made it."

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay," she said with a sigh. "Kind of tired, though."

"You should rest," he agreed. "At least for today. We'll get you settled upstairs so you can get to the bathroom and you can be comfortable in bed, and then I'll bring the TV up and set it up so you'll be able to just hang out up there."

Lorelai nodded. "Sounds good. Are you going to let me climb the stairs by myself?"

"Are you going to let me not let you climb the stairs?" he shot back.

"Not really, no," she said. "Just let me go up them this one time, and after that, if I need to go up or down the stairs, I promise, you can help me."

"Fine. I'll start getting the TV unhooked from down here."

"See," she said, pointing an accusatory finger at him, "I told you, this is why I knew we should have gotten a TV for the bedroom…" she teased before realizing what she was saying. "I mean... crap. Sorry."

Luke managed to force a smile. "It's okay. And it's no big deal, I'll just unplug a few wires and then plug them back in upstairs and it's good to go."

Lorelai nodded and Luke noticed her hurry up the stairs, eager to get away from the awkward situation that she had inadvertently created. Had he not known that was her reasoning, he would have told her to take the stairs slower, but he decided he could let this one pass.

He took longer than he needed unhooking the TV, simply to give her time upstairs to get over her choice of words from earlier.

He arrived upstairs with the TV and knocked on the door that was only partially open.

"Come in!" she called, and he entered with the TV, and he was momentarily struck by the bedroom. It was so familiar, yet it had been such a long time. This bedroom that they'd decorated together, for them was now only hers. He couldn't even remember the last night he had spent there, with her. It seemed like ages ago.

He spent a few minutes hooking the TV up, aware that Lorelai was perched on the end of the bed, watching him in silence. When it was done, he stood up and turned to face her.

"All set."

She nodded. "Thank you, Luke," she said with so much sincerity it caught him off guard.

"Anytime."

"I really appreciate you doing this. Not just the TV, everything."

"It's no problem," he assured her. "It's the least I could do for you after… everything."

"It was towards the end of March," she said suddenly.

He was confused, as he often was when talking to Lorelai. "What was?"

"The last time you spent the night here," she said softly. "That's what you were thinking about, wasn't it?"

He nodded, surprised she had been able to read his thoughts so clearly. He really shouldn't have been surprised by that, though, he realized. She always had been able to do that. The past nearly five months hadn't changed that, though it seemed like they should have. "Yeah."

"That's when it was. I remember because I kept getting worried about the fact that you were here less and less, and I kept noticing how it kept getting longer and longer since you last spent the night here, with me." She spoke so sadly it broke his heart. "Then eventually I just made myself stop thinking about it and realized that's how things were now."

"Was it really that long ago?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Then April started coming around a lot more so you stayed at the diner, we were starting to fall apart so I guess you just naturally felt like you shouldn't be here, then you were on that trip with April, I was avoiding you, we broke up…"

"Right."

"You know what?" she asked him. "I still think of it as our bedroom, sometimes. And the weirdest part about that? There was only, like, four months where we actually used it like it was our bedroom. And it's been, like, six months of it being just mine without you staying here. But I still think of it as ours sometimes."

He nodded. "It was supposed to be ours," he guessed. "That's probably why."

She nodded in return and he could see the tears in her eyes. "Yeah, that's probably it."

"It was last October," he said suddenly.

"What was?" she asked, her turn to be confused by a sudden outburst that included a timeframe.

"My favorite memory of us," he said gently.

"Oh," she breathed softly, actually recalling the conversation from June 3rd, when she had told him to pick his favorite memory of them and think back to that. Apparently, he'd really thought of one.

"I came home from the diner and you had fallen asleep on the bed, which was also the couch at that time," he recalled.

"Right," she said with a laugh. "That was convenient."

"And I guess I scared you when I came in, because you jumped up and threw a pillow at me. You know, if you locked the doors you wouldn't be afraid that every noise you heard while sleeping was a person coming in to your house."

She rolled her eyes. "Get back on topic."

"So you yelled at me for scaring you, and I couldn't help but laugh because at that moment you were just so… you."

"I remember," she said with a smirk. "I said, 'I thought you were someone coming in to have your way with me,' and you said, 'Who said I'm not?'" she laughed at the memory, then looked down at her hands, wondering if that memory was inappropriate territory given the circumstances.

"Yeah," Luke admitted, looking down embarrassed. "And then…"

"You had your way with me," she supplied him with the words, giving him a smirk. "And then after that I wanted to take Paul Anka for a walk and you said you'd come with me, of course, because there are so many bad people lurking around Stars Hollow at dusk."

"You never know," Luke protested with a grumble. "But really… I just wanted to spend the time with you."

"Oh, I know that," she quickly stated. "You're not so hard to read, contrary to popular belief," she teased. "Then we walked around the square for like an hour and a half, just talking," Lorelai finished the memory.

"Yeah," he said quietly.

"I can't believe that's your favorite memory of us. It's so…commonplace."

"I guess," he agreed. "But it's just one of those days, one of those moments, that always sticks in your head and makes you smile when you think about it. Maybe because it is so commonplace, that's why it's special. Because it wasn't anything special, but it was just… nice."

"Yeah," she said softly. "It was nice."

"Besides," he said with a slight smile, "picking our first kiss is too predictable."

"Though that was a good one," Lorelai commented with a sentimental smile. "But you're right, I kind of like the October one."

"There are a lot of good memories from around then," he added, carefully sitting down on the bed next to her. "I mean, I know you were fighting with Rory so they're probably not the same kind of good for you, but I just remember us spending a lot of time together then. Really together."

"We did," she agreed with a nod. "I'd come home and find you here cooking for us, we'd eat together all the time, and you always stayed over even though our bedroom was in the middle of the living room. You went shopping with me and watched movies with me and our biggest problems were you going upstairs to check out the remodel while still in progress and me not knowing which color to paint the inside of the house."

"I swear you were way too obsessed with those color samples. It wasn't healthy."

"I picked a color!"

"At the very last minute."

They were silent for a moment, before Lorelai added, "I really, really miss that."

"Miss what?"

"You and me, like that. I never thought I'd long for the days that Rory wasn't talking to me but I miss the us that existed then. It was just so right. We were engaged and remodeling our house for our future. You were all domestic and cooking dinner and I'd come home to find you here all the time. You were practically living with me and we had matching soccer jerseys and I just… what happened to that?"

He looked down at the blanket and picked at a thread. "I don't know. Things got messed up." He looked up at her. "Really messed up," he corrected.

"Yeah," she said softly. "Really messed up."

"Because of April," Luke added as an explanation.

"No," Lorelai said forcefully. "Not because of April. Because of us."

Luke shrugged. "That too."

"I just tried so hard to pretend that things weren't falling apart, because that was my worst fear. I tried so hard to tell myself that as soon as you got things figured out with April you'd be back. You'd be that Luke again, we'd be us again, we'd go back to how we had been the first six months we were engaged, only there'd be a twelve year old-girl around sometimes, too, and Rory would be back."

"I don't know what happened," he admitted regretfully. "How did we end up like this? This wasn't supposed to happen. I just… I didn't realize how bad it was until you were gone."

She sighed. "I know. I was too caught up in trying to pretend that everything was okay and that it would be the same eventually that I didn't want to acknowledge that there really were problems. So I never said anything and things just kept getting worse and I kept denying it. I never said anything and you had no idea what I was feeling."

"I wish you would have just talked to me," he said softly, his fingers lightly brushing over her hand. "I would've tried harder, Lorelai. I would have tried to fix things if I had known how badly you were hurting. I really, I just… I didn't know. I should have noticed, I should have been able to read you better than that, but I didn't. Then after that night when you wanted to elope," he said, uncomfortably, "I realized. I realized how not okay you were and I was going to make things better, I was going to have us work this stuff out, but then…"

She nodded knowingly. "I know. Christopher."

"Yeah. Him."

Her eyes filled with tears suddenly as the familiar guilt rose inside her. "I'm so sorry for that, Luke. You have no idea. I hate myself for that."

"Don't hate yourself," he told her, looking her in the eyes. "And I know."

"You do?"

"After everything you went through, it was just… the icing on the cake, I guess. I don't blame you, when I think back to how I was treating you. It took me a long time to get here, Lorelai, but I know why it happened. I realized how badly I've screwed up. I was a jerk to you and I'm surprised you hung in there as long as you even did," he sighed sadly. "If I were you, I probably would've left me after I didn't tell you about April for two months. But God, you didn't. You were there and you were patient and you were so… supportive and generous, and I just didn't see that. I just kept acting like an ass."

"I never would have left you for not telling me about her," she assured him quickly. "I was upset you didn't tell me right away because I thought that's what we were, friends who told each other everything, at the very least. But I wasn't going to give up on us that easily, hell, I was trying everything not to give up on us, except actually talking. But from your point of view I saw how shocking it was for you and I get why it happened like that, why you didn't tell me right away. I wouldn't have known how to handle it either."

"Well that's how I feel about you and…" he sighed still feeling pain at having to say the words, "you and Christopher. I hate that it happened, but from your point of view I get it."

"Oh Luke," she sighed. "It shouldn't have happened. It wouldn't have, if I had been thinking straight. I was hysterical that night--"

"Believe me, I noticed."

"I was hysterical and I was looking for a friend, for comfort, and that was it at first. When I thought about going to Chris, I admit, part of the reason the choice was appealing was because I knew you'd be upset, and I was so mad at you. But I hadn't intended to hurt you this much, to hurt me this much, to hurt us this much. I just meant to go there and talk to Chris, as a friend. But then it turned out I was desperate for anything to get my mind off of you and how you wouldn't marry me, and I just--" she shut her eyes at the memory. "I just acted without thinking. I thought that Chris was all I deserved, because I couldn't make things work with you. I don't know what happened," she said as a tear escaped and slid down her cheek. "I never would have done anything like this to you, ever, broken up or not, if I had been myself. I know I wouldn't now, and I wouldn't have before, I know that wasn't me. But that one night I just… I lost it, I don't know. I wasn't me."

"We shouldn't be talking about this right now," he realized, even as his heart clenched at her sincere words of apology. "You should be resting."

She shook her head adamantly and wiped at her eyes as if making the tears go away would show him she wasn't getting upset. "No, I'm fine."

"You're getting all worked up," Luke protested. "That can't be good for you."

"Luke, I'm fine," she insisted. "I want to talk about this. For the first time in like a year I feel like things that need to be said are actually being said."

"Look, this is the bottom line," Luke began. "I was a jerk. I messed up our relationship, badly. You didn't call me on it, like you usually do. I didn't come after you when you walked away. You slept with Christopher."

"Sounds about right."

"I wasn't myself, and you weren't yourself. That wasn't you, Lorelai, to stand back and let me hurt you like that."

She nodded. "I know, it wasn't. And it wasn't you to shut me out of your life and be oblivious to how I was feeling," she pointed out.

"I know," he agreed. "It wasn't. It's just… well who thought finding out you were a father could cause so much turmoil, huh?" he managed to joke, and she laughed a little, looking him in the eyes for a second. "But we're just going to have to accept all this stuff and move on," he explained. "Not forget that it happened, not make excuses about why it happened, just deal with it, fix it, and move on if we want to try and work this out."

Lorelai felt her heart leap and her stomach churn anxiously. "If we want to work this out?" she repeated his words, her voice hopeful despite the fact she was clearly trying to act casual in case she was misreading the meaning behind his words.

"Well, do you?" he asked, sincerely wondering.

"Yes!" she exclaimed suddenly. "Yes. God, Luke, of course yes."

Luke took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes. "You slept with someone else."

"Wow, getting right into it, I guess."

"You slept with someone else, with Christopher of all people, and God help me, Lorelai, I still love you. I always will. I can't stop loving you, that's just not going to happen. So I have two options here. Be in love with you forever and be miserable because I'm not with you…"

"Or?" she asked, hopefully.

"Or I just get over all this crap… we get over all this crap, because I know you have stuff to get over, too… and be in love with you forever and actually be with you."

She bit her lip, unsure of what to say to him at this moment. "If it's any help, I like the second option," she said quietly.

He stared at her for a moment then let out a little laugh, reaching up to brush a strand of her hair behind her ear as he realized that she did, in fact, still want to make this work, as well. "Yeah, I kind of like that one too."

"Luke, I swear, things will be different. We can fix everything that went wrong. We can start over or pick up where we left off, but either way we can make this work, I know we can. It can be like it was before, when it was good, but forever."

"Third time is the charm, right?" he joked.

"That is what they say, yes," she grinned, her eyes sparkling for the first time in a long time.

"It won't be good forever," he told her seriously. "You know that's not true. It's going to suck sometimes, we're going to fight sometimes, and it's not always going to be fun, we're going to have problems. But it's all in how we deal with them. Shutting you out isn't how I should deal with problems in our life. I know that now."

"And dealing with them doesn't involve irrational ultimatums and walking away, I got that too."

He laughed, and then turned serious. "Lorelai…"

"What?" she asked softly, noticing his serious expression. When he didn't continue, she prompted, "Luke."

"I can't lose you again," he admitted, staring at the bedspread. "Once was hard. Twice was unbearable. Again, and I just… I won't be able to handle it."

"You won't have to. It's not going to happen again, I wouldn't be able to handle it again, either."

"We said the same thing last time," he reminded her sadly. "After we broke up before, when we got back together we said it wouldn't happen again. But it did."

"I know," she said with a sad, knowing sigh. "But there are no guarantees in life, you know? We can promise each other all we want that this won't happen again, but things happen. When we promised last time, and we meant it then, too. But things happened. I don't think we saw you being a father to a twelve year-old daughter as something that would come our way, but it did. So who knows what's out there waiting for us that we can't even imagine right now. There could be a lot of crap coming our way, or it could be a free ride from here on out where we only argue about taking out the trash and doing the dishes until we're eighty. I don't know. You don't know. No one does, except for maybe someone you find on the other end of one of those 900 numbers. We just have to suck it up and decide if it's worth it to take the chance that maybe we might lose each other again one day, somehow. But if we're so scared of that that we decide not to try again, what good does that do? Not trying again at all ends it right here. And I really firmly believe that we've learned a lot from all this stuff we've gone through, enough to keep us fighting for our relationship next time we need to. Together, we can get through anything. Together. But it all falls apart when we separate."

There was a long pause before Luke admitted, "I'm scared."

"Of what?" she asked, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze.

"Losing you again. Not being able to make this work. Being a jerk again and not realizing it. Of hurting you again."

"Aw, Hon," she said, which caused him to look up at her, surprised by the casual use of the term of endearment. "I'm scared of that, too," she admitted softly.

"Of me being a jerk again? I don't blame you."

She laughed and rubbed his arm gently. "No, although I'd rather not have to deal with that again, at least not for the length of time it went on last time," she admitted. "But I'm scared of messing up again, too. I never thought I'd be the kind of person who would stand back and watch her relationship fall apart, when it meant so much to her, and not do anything to stop it and then walk away. But I was that person, and I worry that somehow I could become that person again."

There was a long silence that Luke finally decided to break. "So… where does that leave us?"

"I guess with the same two choices we've had all along," she realized.

"Together or apart?" he guessed.

She nodded. "Yeah. Those are the ones. Together or apart."

"I don't want to choose apart," he admitted confidently.

She smiled in relief. "Good, because neither do I. Actually, apart isn't even an option for me."

"I really just can't function right with apart," he agreed.

"Me either. And I used to never want to be that person."

"What person?"

"The one that couldn't function on her own, the one that needs a guy to complete her. But I am." Luke started to say something and she cut in. "It's not a bad thing. It's like, if someone said to you, 'Hey, I see you have an arm attached to your body. Do you want me to cut it off so you can live apart from it? Or do you want to stay together with it?' Who the hell would choose apart? I mean, sure, if the arm has a disease or something, get rid of it. But the arm is perfectly healthy. The arm's been with you a long time. And you could function without it, if you had to. But it would be much easier, and you'd be much happier, to just keep you and the arm together. Even if living without an arm would prove that you're really independent. Who cares, you like the arm, the arm makes life better, easier; right."

Luke frowned at her. "Are you saying I'm an arm?"

She laughed at his confusion. "I'm saying, I would never choose apart from you because it makes no sense, like being apart from a perfectly healthy working arm makes no sense. Arms are necessary."

"So I am an arm."

"No, Luke," she sighed, a smile playing on her lips. "You're a part of me. I can't be Lorelai without Luke, not completely. That's just how it is. I used to dread the day I'd say that because I wanted to be Lorelai, without anyone's help. I just wanted to be Lorelai, all alone, doing whatever I wanted to do, however I wanted to do it. That's the way I raised Rory, and myself for that matter. But now, I can't be Lorelai without Luke. And it's okay. Because being alone sucks. Because you're not holding me back. You're not a burden. You make me better, and I know that sounds incredibly cheesy, but it's so true. You make me a better person, and you fill in gaps that I could never fill in on my own."

"So what you're saying is," he said with a smirk. "That you don't want to choose apart?"

"Yes," she said. "That's what I'm saying."

"Did we really have to bring arms into the conversation to get to that point?"

She laughed at him, and before she knew what she was doing, she leaned in towards him and pulled him towards her. Before he had a chance to question the action, he was leaning in voluntarily and their lips met in an instant. She kissed him softly at first, as if she was afraid she had been too presumptuous in kissing him, but when she felt him respond immediately she began kissing him more forcefully, immediately eager to make up for all the kisses they had missed in the past five months. It wasn't long before she felt his tongue tracing her bottom lip, and she opened her mouth immediately, thankful that he wasn't holding back, that he didn't seem to have reservations. She giggled slightly as he slid his tongue into her mouth, as his arms slid down her sides and to her back. They spent long moments rediscovering each other's mouths before the need for air forced them to break away.

She looked up at him with a smile, and he smiled the same giddy, nervous, hopeful smile right back.

"I love you," he said softly. "I love you so much it's ridiculous."

She giggled. "No it's not," she protested. "There's no such thing as loving me too much it's ridiculous." She leaned in to kiss him again, softly and lovingly. "I love you too, Luke, you have no idea how much."

"We have a lot of stuff to work out," he told her softly, leaning his forehead against hers.

"I know," she agreed.

"We talked about a lot of it, but there's still… we still have to work through it all. Deal with it. Make everything work."

"Yes," she agreed. "And I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make everything work."

"We will," he assured her. "We will make it work, we have to."

She nodded. "Because apart is not a choice. I need my arm."

He rolled his eyes. "Can you forgive me?" he asked suddenly. "For the guy I was the past few months? I wouldn't blame you if you couldn't."

"Oh Luke," she said softly, playing with the curls that escaped from underneath his hat. "Of course I can. I already have. I… I would have forgiven you in an instant, at anytime. I was ready to forgive you for all of it if you would've agreed to elope. I know that it was only a result of being stuck in the middle of a tricky situation and I just… I just want it to end. It was never about not forgiving you, because I knew why it was happening. I just didn't like it." He nodded. "I just… I don't know how you could ever forgive me for…" she trailed off.

"If someone would have come to me two years ago and laid out this situation for me and asked me if I would forgive you for it, I probably would have thought no. Well, first I would have thought it would never happen, then I would have thought no. But when it really happens it's different. It's so complex. And everything that led to it, Lorelai… I made you into that person. I made you into that hysterical, distraught person who wasn't even herself."

She shook her head, remembering the night and what she had done. "I'm so sorry Luke."

"I know," he said gently, sincerely. "I need you to promise me something, though."

"Anything."

"I don't want you apologizing all the time anymore," he explained. "For Christopher. I know you're sorry, and I'm forgiving you. I don't want you to think that you owe me anything, or that I'm always holding something against you, that we're not even, or equal. Okay?"

She blinked at him, surprised. "Seriously?"

"I'm serious. When I said we had to move past it, I meant it."

"Okay," she agreed, warily. "But before that starts, I really need you to know that I am sorry. It didn't mean anything, and I'm so sorry. I realized, the past few months, what it must have said to you, but whatever you think about Chris and me it's not true." She paused, trying to figure out the way to explain this to him that would mak him understand. "I never loved him, Luke," she interjected suddenly. "That's what you need to understand. I thought I did at one time, when I was sixteen. I thought maybe I could one day, if things could work out between us somehow, just like how you think you could love anyone you've just started dating, one day down the road. But I never loved him."

"Never?" Luke asked, skeptically, raising an eyebrow.

"No. I know it seems like I did. I know that you've seen me cry when I lost my chance to be with him, but God, Luke… if only you had seen me when I thought I lost my chance to be with you. Then you'd see that Christopher has nothing on you. I meant it when I said it to that psychiatrist that night, and I mean it when I say it to you… I've never really loved anyone until you, Luke. That's a fact. You have to believe me on that."

"I believe you," he said softly, lightly stroking her hand, bringing his gaze up to look her in the eyes.

"Good," she replied just as softly, tears springing to her eyes. "I need you to. I just need you to know that I love you. What I've always said before, it's true, even if my stupid mistake seemed to say otherwise to you, it's still true. He's just my friend, I love you. You just have to know that."

"I do," he said. "Lorelai, what you did with him… it made me doubt you," he admitted. "It made me think that maybe you didn't really want me, that maybe you really did always want to try things with Christopher and I was just your second choice, the one that was safe, the one that happened to work." He saw Lorelai's eyes widen at this, and he gestured for her to let him finish. "It made me not trust you, because I'd always trusted you with anything, Christopher included, and you turned around and slept with him after all."

"Luke…" she began sadly.

"But everyone screws up sometimes, believe me, I get that. Look at how I acted the past year." He saw her smile slightly at that. "You were upset that night and you made a mistake, I get it. After my thousands of little mistakes… I guess you were allowed one big one. And so it just happened to be with Christopher…" he said with a sigh. "I'm going to take a leap of faith here, Lorelai," he said. "I'm going to trust you. Because I do trust you. I know in my gut that I can trust you despite the fact that you screwed up like that. I'm going to trust that what happened with him meant nothing and I…I know you're sorry, and that to me says that I can trust you. And that something like this was a one time deal that will never happen again."

"It never will," she assured him. "Never. That's one thing I can be sure of."

He nodded. "I know. And I mean it, don't think you have to apologize forever."

"Just so you know I'd gladly spend the rest of our lives telling you how sorry I am."

"I know you would, and that's why I don't need to hear it. And I don't want our lives to be like that."

"God I love you," she said, kissing him again quickly. "I've missed you so much," she said, kissing him again. "Missed you." She kissed him again. "Love you."

"I've missed you, too," he agreed, grinning when she pulled away from him. "It's been unbearable."

"Tell me about it. You realize that since we've known each other this is the longest we've ever gone without being a consistent part of each other's lives?"

"I did notice that," he agreed. "You weren't around all the time and it was really weird. We had the break up before, and we had that one summer, but never this long."

"It just wasn't right."

"It wasn't right at all," Luke agreed. "Things were quiet. The diner was peaceful. It was strange."

She elbowed him playfully. "Hey now."

He chuckled and looked at her lovingly. "You need to rest," he said, brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"Aw, way to kill the moment, Luke. Are we really back to that?"

"You do need to rest," he said seriously. "You just had an operation."

"That little thing? It's a very common operation."

"Rest, please," he said with a sigh, giving her hand a final squeeze and kissing her on the forehead before standing up and pulling the covers back on the bed. She smiled at him appreciatively, and he marveled and how suddenly, she was Lorelai, his Lorelai, again. She wasn't his old friend, ex fiancée that he had to awkwardly tiptoe around in order to help or be around in any capacity. She was just Lorelai again. Everything felt comfortable, and right, despite everything they had gone through. Just like that, they were them again.

"Fine," she pouted. "Let me just go change." She paused awkwardly, trying to figure the situation out. She then grabbed some pajamas off the end of the bed and went into the bathroom. "This seems stupid, coming in here to change when you've seen me naked a thousand times."

Yes, she was definitely his Lorelai again.

He ignored her. "I'm going to go get the DVD player for you," he called to her. "And I'll bring up some DVDs for you."

"Aww, thank you," she cooed from the bathroom. "Will you stay and watch something with me?" she asked, carefully, unsure if that was an okay thing to ask him at this point in time.

He paused, considering his answer for a moment. "Only if you really rest and don't try and talk anymore about… everything," he called back. "There's time to talk more later, and I want you to rest."

"Fine," she agreed. "Ooh. Know which movie I really want to watch?"

Luke paused for a moment, and realized that she wasn't going to supply the answer. "Forrest Gump," he stated more than questioned.

"Amazing," she said, appearing at the doorway to the bathroom in pajama pants and a t-shirt, looking surprised. "You know me all too well."

"Believe me," he said seriously, "I know." He knew her well enough to know she always seemed to have a desire to watch Forrest Gump after she had any kind of pain inflicted on her. He gave her a wink before heading down the stairs to get the DVD player.

Neither of them had any idea how a sudden nearly ruptured appendix had led to this. After all their encounters in the past few months, a few had been friendly, just as this one had started out, but they had always ended the same way, with nothing changed between them. Maybe by this time, they had both come to a place where they understood and were able to forgive. Where they had stopped yelling and stopped defending themselves and looked at it from the other's point of view.

It seemed strange that a nearly ruptured appendix was all it took to lead them here after all it had taken to break them apart. But maybe that was a testament to how strong they really were. It took everything to break them apart and the simplest thing to bring them back together again.

tbc…