The first few days after Luke and Lorelai's agreement to work things out, he'd insisted that she rest, while she insisted that she was fine. But she knew the doctor had told her to take it easy for a few days, so she acquiesced even though she was eager to get things back on track with Luke, something she had really thought would never happen.
He called her often to see how she was doing, and she could hear the tenderness in his voice during the phone calls, something that she had missed in the past few months. He would call every day and ask what she wanted for lunch and he'd bring her order over to her himself no more than a half hour later. He came by to see her after he got off from work unless, of course, Rory was there visiting after her classes, then he insisted that they be alone. But really he wasn't quite sure he was ready to see Rory and talk to her about his relationship with Lorelai when they hadn't quite figured it out, exactly, for themselves yet other than it still existed.
Finally, one day instead of giving Luke her order for lunch over the phone, Lorelai decided to go to the diner for lunch instead. It had been almost a week since her operation and she felt fine and the doctor had said she was fine to resume normal activity.
She expected some heads to turn when she walked into the diner, of course. After all, she doubted that Luke had gone around town announcing the status of their relationship, so she doubted that anyone knew what was going on with them. But the one head she wasn't expecting to see turn towards her and smile as she walked in the door, was April Nardini's.
"Lorelai! Hi!" April grinned, excited, before Lorelai even had a chance to figure out if she should turn and leave or not.
"Hi April," Lorelai said carefully, smiling at the girl and taking a seat next to her.
"How have you been?" April asked, intently focused on Lorelai. "I haven't seen you in a long time. I guess since… my party."
"Yeah, about then," Lorelai agreed, knowing that that was really the last time she'd even seen Luke before it all went wrong.
"I guess I didn't really see you much before then, either, though," April mused.
"Yeah," Lorelai agreed again. "That's true, I guess not." A sudden thought occurred to her. "April, you know that I would have loved to get to know you, it was just that…"
"I know," April assured her quickly. "Dad explained it to me."
Lorelai raised her eyebrows at the use of 'dad,' but smiled at how natural it sounded coming from April– apparently it wasn't anything new to her. She'd missed out on a lot between Luke and April. Here they were coming up on knowing each other for a year, and she'd seldom had anything to do with it.
"Good," she said, wondering what exactly Luke had said to her and how it had come up. "Good, I'm glad."
Luke himself stepped out from the kitchen at that moment and smiled when he noticed Lorelai at the counter.
"Hey," he greeted her. "I didn't know you were going to come by today."
Reverting to her old behavior, Lorelai suddenly got nervous. "Well, it was just a spur of the moment thing," she said with a shrug, standing up from her stool. "Sorry. I didn't know April would be here."
"Oh, that's okay," Luke assured her as if his whole keep-Lorelai-and-April-apart game had never existed and this was the most normal thing in the world.
"It's okay?" Lorelai asked, catching his eyes knowingly. "Because… I can go if it's a bad time."
Suddenly realization dawned on Luke. "No," he said, looking her in the eyes confidently. "Stay. I mean, if you want to. I want you to."
"Okay," Lorelai said, settling back down on the stool next to April. "If you're sure I'm not interrupting you two."
"Stay, Lorelai. Please?" April piped up with begging eyes. "It's busy here this time of day and I'm always eating by myself. You could eat with me!"
Lorelai smiled, knowing that feeling all too well. Despite the fact that Luke's attention was on her eighty percent of the time when she was in the diner, when she arrived during rushes she often found herself eating alone.
"Okay," Lorelai agreed, flashing a smile to each April and Luke. "Good. It'll be nice for me to have someone to eat with, too. What're you having?"
"Cheeseburger and chili fries. The usual," April replied.
"Ah!" Lorelai exclaimed. "A girl after my own heart."
Luke watched the scene taking place in front of him and sighed. "I give up on you, all three of you– and by three, I'm including Rory, too. You're all lost causes."
April ignored him. "He didn't like me eating that stuff at first, but he's easy to wear down," April explained to Lorelai.
"Oh, believe me, I know it," Lorelai told April with a wink, causing her to giggle. "His girls just have him wrapped around their fingers."
Luke rolled his eyes and focused on Lorelai. "What do you want?"
"I think I'll go for a cheeseburger and chili fries, too," Lorelai decided. "April's got good taste."
"Lost cause," Luke muttered, ripping a page off his order pad and heading to the kitchen.
"We've compromised," April explained to Lorelai. "He lets me have the burger and chili fries if I drink a glass of milk with it. It only took drinking four cokes in a row one afternoon for him to flip out and rant about soda consumption."
Lorelai smiled at April's story, and at how classically Luke the behavior she was describing was. "I believe I've heard that same rant, only about caffeine consumption instead," she recalled, and April smiled. "So, how's school?"
"Eh, it's okay," April decided. "The science fair is coming up soon, though. Next year I'm going to high school, so it's my last chance to win this year. I don't know if they do science fairs in high school."
"I'm sure you'll come up with something good this year, then," Lorelai assured her. "Last year sounded pretty impressive," Lorelai added with a knowing smile.
"I thought it was," April agreed. "And it had really good results and all, you know, not just scientifically but… in my life, too. But I don't know. I'm not sure I can top last year. If that didn't win, what will?"
"You never know. It all depends on the competition, right?"
"That is true," April agreed. "I'll have to think about it some more." She sighed. "How are you feeling after your operation?"
"Oh," Lorelai said, surprised April knew about that. "I'm fine. I was a little sore for a few days, but I feel fine now. It is nice to have that appendix out, though. One less thing to worry about, you know?" she joked, and April laughed, but their conversation was interrupted when Luke appeared with their food.
"Here you go, girls. Enjoy." He patted April on the hand and gave Lorelai a smile and a wink, and she knew she was right; it was going to be different this time.
"Hey, April," Luke said suddenly, before going to a table to take an order. "I was thinking… would you be up for doing something with me, Lorelai and Rory sometime soon?"
"Sure!" April said, enthusiastically, and Luke wondered if she had been waiting for this almost as long as Lorelai had. "That would be fun. I liked Rory when I met her."
And Lorelai knew she was right about something else; it was going to be good this time.
Anna arrived at the diner to pick April up not long after Lorelai and April had finished their lunch, as April had apparently already spent the whole morning there and Anna was taking her shopping for supplies for her newest science experiment that afternoon.
Lorelai immediately cringed when she saw Anna come into the diner, afraid of how Anna would react to seeing her there, hanging out around April. But Anna simply smiled at Lorelai and said hello to her, then gathered April up. They both said goodbye to Luke, and were out the door in a flash, before Lorelai even had a chance to worry about making awkward conversation with Anna or being in the way of a conversation between Luke and Anna.
Luke went over and cleared the plate April had left behind and then began wiping the counter down. He looked up at Lorelai because she hadn't lifted her coffee cup for him to wipe under as she usually did when she occupied the counter for long periods of time and he had to clean around her, and he noticed she seemed to be lost in thought.
"What's the matter?" he asked her suddenly, and her head snapped up to look at him.
"Oh! Nothing, I just…" she shrugged, nervously. "I don't think Anna's going to be happy."
"About what?" Luke asked, stopping his wiping to concentrate on Lorelai.
"I never told you what Anna and I talked about when I went to see her," Lorelai said quickly. "I mean I told you I went to see her, before, but--"
"Lorelai--" Luke realized where this was going and tried to jump in.
Lorelai tried to rush on. "But I never explained what she told me--"
"I know," Luke interrupted her suddenly. "I know what she told you."
Lorelai frowned at him. "You do?"
"She told me. A few months ago I was talking to her when I dropped April off and somehow you came up in the conversation and she mentioned what she told you," Luke explained.
"Oh, she did," Lorelai said with an uncomfortable nod, unsure of how to proceed with this conversation or what Luke's thoughts on Anna's feelings were. What if he agreed, she wondered? No, if he agreed he wouldn't have let her stay at the diner today. But the diner was a public place…
"Yes. And it was completely unfair of her to tell you that," Luke said. " We talked. I could have been a little more levelheaded in how I handled it, I'm sure, but somehow I got her to see my side. Anna's good with this. I want you to be part of April's life and you're going to be part of April's life if I want you to be and if you want to be. And I do want you to be."
"Wow," she said, raising her eyebrows, surprised at the turn of events. "Well okay, then. I mean… I want to be, of course," she added quickly. "I'm glad you talked to her."
"I realized a lot while we were apart," he said. "I told you that before. But it's true. I realized mistakes I'd made, and talking to Anna about this whole situation and what it means for April to really be a part of my life was the first step in fixing one of them. And that includes you and April having a relationship, now that you're back. Which, believe me, was a hard battle to fight being that it looked like Anna was right about us since we were broken up. But she knows we're back together, I made sure to tell her when she called about April spending the morning here today, and she's okay with you spending time with April. As okay as she can be, I guess, anyway. She's adjusting."
"I'm impressed," Lorelai said with a raise of her eyebrows. "I mean, before… I kind of thought she had a point, with not wanting April to get attached to me, because…" she trailed off.
"You've always felt the same about Rory and the people you dated, I know. I get it."
She smiled at Luke. "Well, it's true. I never wanted her to get attached in case it didn't work out."
"Yes, but when you got engaged, you let her start getting attached, right? And when," Luke sighed, "…when Christopher was engaged, you let Rory get to know his fiancée, right? You weren't some woman I'd just started dating that could be out of my life in a day. You were my fiancée. And you and April deserve to get to know each other if you're going to be family. And Anna was wrong in trying to keep you and April apart, and… so was I," he admitted. "I did the same thing, first. But that's over now. I was wrong in how I handled it. I handled it badly, I hurt you, I confused April, I misled Anna, and mostly… I hurt you. I never meant to make you think you were anything less than you are to me. It was just me being an idiot. I'm sorry."
"I know you are," she said sincerely, reaching over and giving his hand a squeeze. "It's okay, it's all going to work out now. We're on the right track already. "
"I can't believe you can forgive me for being such an idiot," he said with a sigh, playing with the cloth he had been using to wipe down the counter.
"Seriously, Luke? After how many times I've been an idiot? Please. I owe you." He smiled thankfully at her attempt to make him feel better and at how forgiving she was. "Especially considering the most recent idiotic thing I did," she added softly.
"But I'm supposed to be there for you. That's what I do. When you need something, I give it to you. When you need help, I help you. I'm not supposed to let you down. I'm supposed to be the one you can always depend on. I ruined that."
"Oh, Luke," she said softly. "No you didn't. That's not true. You can't hold yourself to that high of a standard. I know I've called you the perfect man before, and you are. You always will be, to me. But I don't expect you to really be perfect all the time. Sometimes… sometimes it's about you and not me. Our lives are blended together now, Babe. It's okay for things to happen in your life that cause you to focus on yourself. I don't expect you to only exist to be there for me. I know sometimes it's going to be about you. I just… I'd like it if you would let me be the one who you can depend on when that happens. When I need you, you'll be there, I know that. But in return, when you need me I want to be able to be there. That's all you have to do, just let me in. I'll feel like I'm still apart of everything, if you're depending on me. It's all give and take. But you have to do both. Give and take. Trust me, I know it's hard to let someone in after years of only depending on yourself, but when you do it… it makes things much easier. I speak from experience."
"I know, and I do need you. I needed you to help me with April, I really did, but I was just… too stubborn and too insecure and too determined to do it the way I thought was best. But I did need you. That's why I handled things so badly, all around, I was trying to do it on my own and that wasn't working."
"Luke, Hon, you're talking to the queen of trying to do things on her own. I get it. We're good. I just want you to be let me in, I don't want you to think you can't tell me things or that I'm going to leave you because of something. Anything you come to me with, we'll work through it. Long lost daughters included. Though I hope there aren't anymore of those, since it might get kind of crowded around here."
He chuckled at that. "I think we're good on that front."
"Hey, you never know. Thankfully we can at least be sure that I don't have any long lost kids out there. I think I would know." Lorelai smiled and let the conversation return to something a little less serious, recognizing the diner was probably not the best venue for a serious discussion like this. "Maybe we should go out to dinner with Anna or something. She might feel better if she knows me," Lorelai offered. "And she seemed nice enough. I could probably not, you know, hate her for all eternity for keeping April from you if I tried hard enough."
"That would be nice," Luke agreed. "I think it would be good for… everyone. All five of us could go out to eat or something."
"Five?"
"Rory, too, of course," Luke said immediately, and Lorelai smiled and nodded.
"Oh, right. That would be good."
"Good."
"Hey, speaking of my kid, did I tell you what Rory and I discovered while you and I were apart? You're gonna love this."
"What?" Luke frowned.
"Pop tarts, in the freezer. And not just any pop tart. Hot fudge sundae pop tarts. Put those suckers in the freezer and Luke, I'm telling you… it might just be better than coffee."
"Hot fudge sundae pop-tarts?" Luke asked with a grimace, choosing to skip over the whole freezer nonsense for now. "They put chocolate in those things now?"
"Yes. Well, actually, the filling is more like a cream. But the pop tart itself is chocolate. Though I think that's just wrong. The fruit filling is what pop tarts were meant to have."
Luke raised his eyebrows at her. "Did you just say you prefer some variation of fruit over chocolate?"
"Fruit filling," Lorelai reminded him. "It's hardly anything healthy."
"But still, you like it better than chocolate."
"Well, no. The chocolate and cream fillings are better. You can't put the fruity ones in the freezer. That's just gross."
"But you just said those fillings are just wrong."
"They're more natural for a pop tart. But that doesn't mean they're better."
"If they're wrong, how are they better?"
"They taste better."
"But they're wrong."
"Yes."
Luke narrowed his eyes at her. "Do you have any idea how much I've missed you?"
Lorelai giggled. "It's good to be back."
xxxxxx
"Coming!" Lorelai called to the knock on her door. She put down the remote and hopped up, heading to the door and pulling it open to reveal Luke. She frowned.
"What am I ever going to have to do to convince you that you don't need to knock on the door?" she asked.
Luke shrugged. "It's just polite."
"You're my…" Lorelai trailed off, unsure. "You're my Luke, you don't need to be polite. Besides, being polite just means I have to get up to answer the door which is something I don't mind avoiding."
Luke rolled his eyes and leaned in to kiss her quickly. "Hey."
"Hi."
"So, you ready for dinner?" he asked. She nodded.
"Yeah, let me just go find my purse…" she said absentmindedly.
Luke sighed, wondering if this was going to be like all the times he waited for her to find her car keys or her socks or whatever item was missing and in the most ridiculous place. He sat on the edge of the couch as he waited for her, looking around at the living room. Sometimes, it still seemed so different to him, the living room post renovation. He knew that was a telltale sign that he hadn't been around enough, before. To Lorelai this house was familiar and normal by now. To him, it still seemed new and different sometimes. Not the big things, but the little things. Like he would expect to see carpet on the stairs instead of them bare and completely wooden.
Lorelai returned with her purse and a bright smile. "Okay, here it is." She watched him look at her. "What?"
"Nothing. You're just… beautiful."
She grinned. "Thank you. Do you like the dress? It's new."
"I noticed," he said with a smirk. "And I do."
"I thought you would," she gave him a wink. "I picked it out with you in mind."
"Well as long as I'm the only one you wear it for," he teased,
The words feel between them, each of them trying to gauge how the other was taking them.
"Is it always going to be like this?" she asked sadly.
"Like what?"
"Where I say something, or you say something, and we fall silent reflecting on the horrible past?"
"Lorelai. No," he said confidently, standing up from the couch and facing her, looking her right in the eyes. "We said we were going to work through this. That takes time. It doesn't just happen right away. We said we were going to work it out, but that doesn't mean everything is worked out, that everything is okay just like that. It's still new, and I shouldn't have said… I just wasn't thinking."
"I know," she assured him. "But… but you should be able to make comments like that without us thinking about… " she sighed. "You know. How do we…" she shifted her weight from foot to foot. "How do we actually work it out?"
"I don't know," he admitted. "It's just all still new. Once we move on and see that we're doing okay the past will be the past. It won't feel as new and as fresh and as hurtful and it won't be what comes to our minds right away."
"I just want it to go away," she sighed. "All of it."
"Well, it can't just go away," Luke sighed. "But it will have less of an appearance in our lives as time goes on. Trust me." He took her hands and gave them a squeeze. "Look. I love you. And we're us. We're going to be fine. We're stronger than this," he assured her. She stared at him for a moment and nodded, then turned away from him as she felt tears burning at her eyelids. "Lorelai?" he prompted her to talk.
"Nothing, no," she said, waving him off and falling down onto the couch. "It's just that… I hate myself. I really and truly do, I hate myself for what I did to you, to us, and I don't think I'm ever going to be able to forgive myself for doing it. I mean, you forgive me, but… how do I forgive myself?"
He sat down next to her and put a hand on her back, rubbing it gently to calm her down. "I don't know. That's something you have to figure out for yourself."
"I just feel like this is always going to be there, the big white elephant in the room. That whenever we make a remark like the one you made earlier, everything is going to come crashing down. I mean, how are we ever going to have sex again, Luke? How? How are you ever going to be able to look at me like that and not…" the tears had begun falling, "and not think of…"
"Lorelai, shh," he soothed her, planting a kiss on her head. "It's going to take time. That's all it is. This whole thing is still new, the pain of it's still fresh, it's still in the front of our minds. But we're going to pick up and move on and soon it's going to be just a part of the past."
She nodded and rubbed at her eyes. "I guess you're right. But I just feel so guilty, all the time, I feel like… I'm the person I never wanted to be."
"Hey, that's not--"
"I'm horrible," she suddenly sobbed, the tears falling freely. "I'm horrible and I'm the worst fiancée that ever was. It's going to go in the history books." Luke put his arm around her and pulled her close to him. "I just can't stop thinking about how I screwed up. You were the best thing that's ever happened to me and I did that to you. God, Luke, I just…" she continued sobbing into his chest, unable to keep speaking.
"Shh," he soothed her, knowing that there was nothing he could say that would make her feel better. "It's okay."
"And now you're still here, forgiving me, even after everything and… god I'm sorry," she muttered. "The reason I'm crying is because of how I hurt you and you have to sit here comforting me."
"I'm always here for you," he whispered into her hair. "You know that. No matter what."
She nodded into his chest. "I know. I just," she hiccupped a little, "just don't know what to do."
He held her for a few more minutes as she cried into his chest, rubbing circles on her back and pushing her hair away from her face.
"I love you," he finally told her softly. "It doesn't matter what you do, I'll always love you. Just know that." She nodded, but was unable to reply for fear she would start crying again, just when the tears were subsiding. "Hey, you want to just forget about dinner and stay here?" he asked her.
She looked up at him, her eyes puffy. "But I'm hungry."
"I'll make you something," he said.
"I don't have any food."
"Well I'll go get some, then."
"How about we order in?" she asked, sitting up a bit, but still keeping her body pressed close to Luke's. "I know you don't like much that can be delivered, but I just… I don't want you to get up, I want you here with me."
He nodded and pulled her close to him again. "Ordering in is good."
"Good," she said, sniffling a bit and closing her eyes, resting her head on Luke's shoulder. "I'm sorry for the breakdown."
"I think you needed it," Luke replied softly.
"I think I did, too," she said with a sigh.
He tilted her head up so she was looking him in the eyes. "I know what happened was hard, for both of us. What you did, and what I did, it goes both ways. We both messed up. But beyond everything, I love you. That's what it all comes down to. I love you and you love me and we're going to get past this because we want to so much. Step by step."
She nodded. "Right, step by step." She smirked a little. "Day by day."
"What are you doing this weekend?" he asked her. She shrugged.
"Nothing special. Why?"
"I was thinking maybe a good first step in all of this could be going out with Anna and April."
"Oh, right," Lorelai said, surprised. "Sure, that sounds good."
Luke smiled at her and kissed the top of her head. "See, step by step. Okay, now step two… what do you want to order?"
"Chinese?"
"Sounds good," Luke confirmed, reaching for the phone.
"I like this," she said with a sigh, settling down next to him again. "You being around here, picking up the phone and ordering food."
"I like it too," he agreed with a smile.
He was right, she decided. They'd hit rock bottom. The only place to go now, was up. They had hit the lowest low, and if they could recover from it... and they would... everything would be fine. They could tackle anything.
xxxxxx
"Mom?" Rory's voice called out when she entered her house Saturday night. "Are you here?"
"Upstairs, Hon!"
"Oh, okay. I'll wait down here."
"No, come up here," Lorelai called. "I need your opinion."
"On what?" Rory asked, as she made her way up the steps. When she reached her mother's room, she frowned at the mess of clothes strewn all around. "Oh. On your outfit, I presume."
"What do you think of this dress?" Lorelai asked, gesturing to the dark blue dress she had on. "Or should I go with pants. I should go with pants, huh? It's not a really formal dinner. What are you wearing?" Lorelai asked.
"Mom," Rory said with a laugh. "Look at me."
"Why?"
"Because then you can see what I'm wearing."
"Oh, right," Lorelai realized, letting her eyes flicker over her daughter. "A skirt and a sweater. That's good. But is it going to look like we're matching?"
"Because we're both wearing skirts? No, I don't think so."
"Ugh!" Lorelai said with a sigh, sitting on the bed. "This is the one situation that isn't covered in the 'What to Wear' handbook."
"Mom, relax," Rory said with a laugh. "You've met Anna before, you know."
"Yes, but that was different. This is an official meeting, where we're going to sit and talk. She's going to stare at me all night, and burn every little detail of what I'm wearing and how I look into her head to discuss with April when they get home, and to judge me on. God, I hate being the stepmother."
"Mom," Rory said with a laugh, pulling her up into a sitting position from the bed where she had thrown herself backwards. "They're not going to do that, okay?"
"Sure they are," Lorelai insisted. "That's what you and I would do."
"Well, not everyone is you and I."
"You can't honestly tell me that you don't think they're going to talk about me later."
"Well, sure," Rory decided, causing Lorelai to groan and fall back again. "But April likes you!" she added quickly. "And I think Anna will, too. So maybe they're not looking to trash you, okay? Besides, all your clothes are nice."
"Now you're just patronizing me." Lorelai sighed. "I need something that says, 'Hi, I'm Lorelai, I'm marrying, or, was supposed to be marrying, the father of your child, the man you have also been with and slept with before me. I will be a part of your daughter's life for the rest of my life, and in certain circumstances I may be responsible for her well being and be the cause of influence in her life. Also, I'm really not happy that you kept my fiancé away from his daughter for twelve years and don't think I'm going to forget that and if you ever hurt him again, there will be hell to pay. Also, I don't even know if I really am your child's future stepmother because my fiancé and I are kind of in limbo at the moment and I don't know what the hell is going on, and yes, that's right, there is no ring on my finger."
"Okay, that," Rory said pointedly, picking two sweaters out of Lorelai's closet and looking at them before hanging them back up, "is another discussion entirely."
"Right. So, what says that better? Pink or light pink?"
Rory stared at her mother in disbelief, and saw Lorelai frown when she realized Rory wasn't going to give her a serious answer. The door opened and closed downstairs, and Lorelai looked relieved.
"Thank God. Luke!" she called down the stairs. "Come up here, I need a second opinion, Rory's not taking me seriously."
Rory shook her head at her mother and headed out of the room just as Luke called back, "I'm sure there's a reason for that."
When they passed in the hallway, Rory just shrugged at Luke and gave him a smile that said 'good luck,' as she headed down the stairs.
"What on Earth is going on in here?" Luke asked when he stepped into the bedroom. "I didn't even know you had this many clothes."
"I don't know what to wear," she said with a sigh. "You know Anna is going to be sitting there, judging me, and the last thing I need her to be able to pick on is my outfit."
"Anna's already met you," Luke reasoned, similar to Rory.
"Jeez, sometimes I think Rory should belong to you and not me. So, what do you think?" she asked, holding up two skirts. "Black or white?"
"Black," he said simply.
"Just like that?" she asked. "Why black?"
He shrugged. "It's shorter."
"Luke!" she exclaimed, unable to hid her laugh and amusement as she threw a pillow at him. "All the more reason to not pick that one, then, we don't want her to think I'm a slut."
She noticed her choice of words immediately, and quickly glanced at Luke who seemed to pay no mind to them.
"What? I spent all those years waiting for you to pick the short skirt on your own, so now if I have the chance to suggest you wear it, why not take it?"
"Luke!" she rolled her eyes.
"No, I'm serious, black," he said, "I just like it better. And it's not that short, it's just shorter."
Step by step, she reminded herself. If Luke didn't think anything of the words, why should she?
"Okay, black it is," she agreed. "Now, pink or light pink?"
xxxxxx
"So I decided to open up the shop when April was four, because that way I could make my own schedule, have time to spend with her," Anna said at dinner that night.
Things had been going relatively well. April had greeted Lorelai with a big smile and given Luke a huge hug, and she and Rory sat next to each other, chatting away about science and Yale and all things scholarly.
Lorelai was convinced that Rory was being particularly quiet due to the fact she was embarrassed that Anna had immediately recognized her from her visit to her shop months ago. Rory had been sure there was no way Anna would remember a random customer, but apparently, she recalled Rory right away. Anna had laughed about it, but Rory had been much more quiet than usual after that.
Every so often Luke's hand would come to rest on Lorelai's knee and give it a reassuring squeeze as she carried on a conversation with Anna. And by the time the dinner plates were cleared, Lorelai was proud of herself for not saying anything stupid enough to stop the conversation and not spilling anything on herself or something else as embarrassing.
"Mom," April said as the desert was cleared and Lorelai and Anna had ordered coffee. "Since I don't drink coffee, can I go check out that bookstore next door that we saw on the way in?"
"Sure, I guess that's okay," Anna said, looking to Luke. Luke seemed surprised at her questioning glance, and he nodded his agreement.
"Cool, thanks. Rory, you want to come?"
"Oh, Honey, I think Rory might want coffee," Anna suggested.
"No, it's okay, actually," Rory said. "It's kind of late for coffee for me," she ignored Lorelai's glare. "And besides, I'd like to check out the store, too."
Rory and April took off and headed for the bookstore and Anna laughed. "April's in a good mood tonight," she informed Luke and Lorelai. "Seems Freddy asked her to the dance at her school."
"Freddy?" Luke groaned. "He's.. he's a boy."
Anna rolled her eyes playfully. "Yes, Luke. He is."
"Ohh, exciting," Lorelai jumped right in on a topic she knew about. "First date?"
"First date," Anna said with a nod. "Unfortunately… I haven't told her I'm not going to be able to be there to help her get ready which means she probably won't want to go after that." Anna sighed. "I feel horrible. But it's on a night we're doing this huge inventory at the store."
"Aw, bummer."
"So no date?" Luke pressed.
"I thought I'd see if maybe I could rearrange the inventory or something before I broke the news to her," Anna ignored Luke and continued talking to Lorelai, "but… it doesn't look like it's going to be possible."
"Well, she could always…" Lorelai looked to Luke and then to Anna, unsure. "I mean, stop me if I'm being too forward, please, but if that was me I'd be crushed to have to miss my first date, so I just thought… she could always come get ready at our place. I could help her." Anna was quiet for a moment and so Lorelai added, "but seriously, all you have to say is no and that's that."
"No, actually," Anna said, studying her coffee cup for a moment before meeting Lorelai's eyes. "That would be really nice. She'd like that. And I'd really love for her to be able to go."
"Oh, okay," Lorelai said, surprised. "Great, that would be great. I mean, if she wants to. Rory can come over and help, too. She seems to really click with Rory."
Anna nodded with a chuckle. "Who would've thought there were two of them?"
Lorelai laughed and watched as Luke stood up and excused himself to the restroom. She looked at him, pleading with her eyes for him to not leave her alone with Anna, but he gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "I'll be right back," he said, and Lorelai nodded.
"So, dinner was nice," Anna mused, making awkward conversation.
"Yes, it was. It was good. It was long overdue," Lorelai added with a knowing smile.
"Lorelai, listen," Anna said with a sigh. "Before, when you came to the store, I'm sorry if what I said impacted you and Luke in some way--"
"Oh, Anna, no. Luke and I were going through a rough time."
Anna nodded. "I think I may have overreacted regarding you and April," she added. "I was just taken by surprise, Luke had never even told me he was engaged, so naturally I just didn't realize that you were so… permanent in his life. He was right, though, if April is a part of his life and he's going to get married then… she deserves to get to know that person who's going to be apart of her life. So I'm trying. It's just hard for me, for so long it was just me and her, and so this is all a little nerve wracking."
Lorelai nodded. "Believe me, I get you. It was the same with me and Rory when she was growing up," she explained. "And when her father got engaged her future stepmother was all over her, following her every move. So trust me, I get it, and I'm going to try so hard not to be a Sherry. I'm not going to try and take over her life. I just want to know her."
"A Sherry?" Anna asked.
"Oh, that was her father's fiancée's name."
"Oh," Anna said with a chuckle. "Okay," she said with a smile. "You know, I never thought this would be Luke," she said, gesturing around the table. "He's like… the family guy. He's got you and Rory and a dog, from what I hear. I never pictured him like that." Lorelai nodded and took a sip from her coffee cup, as to keep back the 'obviously' comment that was on the tip of her tongue. "And he lights up when he talks about you, and Rory… he gets such a look of pride on his face when he talks about her. And he loves April, and she adores him. He's good at this."
"He is," Lorelai confirmed. "He always has been, with me and Rory. I mean, Luke and I have been friends for what seems like forever by now, and Rory's always adored him. She won him over when she walked into the diner when she was ten years-old with feathered angels wings on her back asking him to come to a caterpillar's funeral. The next time I saw him all he could do was go on and on about how sad she looked and how he'd given her a free brownie," Lorelai laughed at the memory. "And as for me, I honsetly don't know where I'd be if he hadn't been a part of my life."
Anna sighed. "I never even thought…" she shrugged. "Well, I guess you can tell by my choice to never tell him about April what I thought." Lorelai nodded. "And I'm sure you have an opinion on that. I know I sure would if I was you. And you're right, it was wrong, but I can't change it now."
Lorelai nodded. "Well, I sure know all about big mistakes, trust me." Anna laughed.
"Out of the two of us, Luke and I, I never would have expected he would be the one that would provide her with the stepmother and the stepsister and the dog and the whole family dynamic. But I'm glad she decided to find him."
"I am, too," Lorelai agreed. "He adores her."
"I know," Anna said with a smile.
Just then Luke returned to the table, smiling at Lorelai and looking between Anna and Lorelai.
"What? Talking about me?"
"Just how wonderful you are," Lorelai teased. He didn't need to know it was the truth.
Rory and April returned not much later, and when they got up from the table to leave the restaurant, Luke wrapped his arm around Lorelai's waist as they walked to the door and said goodbye to Anna and April. He only removed it to return April's goodbye hug, and replaced it immediately, keeping it there as they walked to the car, Rory telling them what she and April had talked about in the bookstore.
Since the first time April herself had dropped the bombshell of who exactly she was on her, Lorelai felt like everything could actually work out after all.
Step by step.
tbc…
