Chapter 65: Introduction
Cross-Brain AN: WARNING, WARNING, and for good measure, WARNING. We get graphic in this chapter. We're getting into some dark subject matter, darker than we've been since Omatsuri. You'll know when to skip ahead when the time comes, but again, because of how many people tend to skip these ANs…WARNING!
"Hey, look! It's really them, it's the Straw Hat Pirates!"
"Sh-Should we run? I don't want to make them mad…"
"You think that they'd give us an autograph?"
"Man, they look so cool! Especially him!"
"Yeah, he's obviously the most handsome of them all!"
"You think I'd be so lucky as to actually touch his glorious shell?"
"Alright, knock it off," I snapped, thwapping my shoulder-pest's 'glorious' shell and bringing the murmuring of the 'crowd' to a dead halt. "You blew it at that last bit."
"Keep dreaming, slimeball~" Su snickered.
"Green-eyed monsters, all of you."
Granted, we had caught a good few whispers in that vein when we first arrived, and there had been more friendly waves (which were typically returned) than fearful visages and slamming shutters. Though I wager that most of the latter belonged to the ones who were on our bad side just by existing.
But tempting as it was, we didn't dawdle; at this point, the rest of the crew had at least some idea as to my plan for Sabaody, mostly that we needed to have everything ready to go before the rest of the Supernovas caught up with us. And that time was running out fast.
Also, we couldn't put our hard-scammed spending money to work until we actually got said money, so our first stop was still Grove 13. Apparently, the fishmen had finagled an underwater tunnel through the tree roots that was wide enough for Takoyaki 8 to move through, so they had already docked at the Rip-Off Bar. Koala and Sonia didn't want to come onto the archipelago before the situation demanded it, and Tashigi and Popora were waiting for a good chance to slip away and join up with a group of Smoker's Marines that were already on the island. Keimi, was accompanying us in the same simple yet effective disguise she wore in canon, though this time around her fins beneath the shoes were covered by a couple of convincing prosthetics, courtesy of Franky. She could have gotten there faster underwater, but none of us were taking any chances.
'Course, focused as we were on the destination, that didn't mean we couldn't appreciate the sights as we went.
"Wow, this is all so cooool! WOOOAH! Is that a bike in a bubble?! That looks so awesome! Can I borrow it?"
"Aaaand to the surprise of no one, the prize of 'first to cause trouble on the island' goes to—!" THWACK! "YIPE!"
"Be nice, Su."
"Tell me I'm wrong!"
With that little bit of color commentary, we all watched Luffy latch onto one of the bubble cycles pedaling along above us, much to the surprise of its rider. The surprise intensified when, not waiting for an answer, Luffy grabbed the handlebars and started pedaling, effectively kicking off the original rider with nary an oblivious thought.
Vivi pinched her nose as she kicked up a gust of wind to cushion the guy's fall. Then, just as smoothly, she offered him a small (in size, at least) bundle of bills.
"My apologies for our captain, he just can't help himself sometimes. Will this be enough to cover the costs?" the princess queried with an apologetic smile.
The guy looked between the bike, the bills, and the rest of us. Thankfully for our anonymity, he seemed more focused on the money than our faces; eventually, he shrugged and accepted the wad. "Thanks for the business, then!" he laughed gratefully before brushing himself off and walking away a tad richer.
Turning away from Vivi's apt display of diplomacy, I looked back up to the bubbles to make sure that no one else was getting in any trouble—and had to double-take at the sight of four other new arrivals enjoying the bubbles as well.
"This is so awesome!" Mikey laughed, backstroking on a bubble as big as he was that, come to think of it, was pretty strong to be supporting his weight. And shockingly enough, his was the tamest form of play.
"But, uh, can't you guys already fly?" Billy wondered.
"THIS IS DIFFERENT!" the dugongs belted out.
"That's just work!" Raphey snickered, grinning like a loon as she spun around inside another bubble.
"Yeah, with Tidal Swim we constantly need to think about it, adjust our posture, our tail-strength, our… bleeergh, my head hurts just thinking about it," Donny mock-gagged as he bounced up and down on his own bubble.
"This, though?" Leo hummed peacefully, sitting seiza on his own bubble in an impressive display of stability, considering the unstable perch. "This is totally casual, simple, not a care in the—!"
"Oh, there's a good one! GIMME!"
"—wha—WAAAGH!"
Leo's bubble suddenly vanished out from under him, and his zen-esque spiel transitioned into a panicked squawk, courtesy of one overeager human-reindeer.
A mad grin graced Chopper's face as he examined his newly-acquired research subject via portable microscope, sitting on a bubble of his own. "Oooh, this is truly a most intriguing compound! Elastic and sturdy, possessed of a laudable viscosity yet entirely natural? How fascinating! Oooh, and the disinfectant qualities of the sap are top-notch as well!" He leaned back on his perch and smiled thoughtfully, the mania leaking out. "Oooh, I should see about visiting some local medical establishments! I can only imagine what kind of applications or advancements the local populace have managed to develop based around the stuff!"
"Same for me!" Usopp laughed as he Shaved from bubble to bubble higher up, close to the altitude where the bubbles naturally popped. "I wonder if they use this stuff for anything else besides those bikes or that coating stuff Cross mentioned!"
"And lo do I make three!" Brook declared from his position upside down from a bubble, a peaceful violin tune accompanying him. "Already am I struck by a most beautiful inspiration! I believe I shall compose a new piece, Ode to a Bubble! Ooooh~!"
"Okay, that's about enough, you three," I called up, waving to get their attention. "There'll be time for sightseeing later, but right now I think Nami's about to break out in hives—"
"I AM NOT!" our navigator snapped. That she suddenly stopped scratching her arms was totally unrelated, of course.
"—so let's not make the unenviable lifechoice of keeping her from her hoard any longer than absolutely necessary, m'kay?"
"Actually, I think it's more for the fact that she doesn't have her Clima-Tact assembled right now," Chopper frowned, indicating the disassembled weapon strapped to our navigator's leg. "It's kind of unhealthy, really, given how much of an extension of her mind her Eisen Tempo's become; it would be like Zoro walking around without his swords."
The clank of Zoro grasping his weapons told us just what he thought of that idea.
"You've got that right…" Nami muttered, actively working to keep her twitching fingers from jerking down to her leg. "I know we need to be incognito at the moment and that a living cloud-limb is beyond conspicuous, but sweet Aeolus do I feel naked right now…"
Zoro, Vivi and I actually stopped in our tracks to boggle at her incredulously.
A simultaneous boggling that she met head-on with a glower. "I dress skimpy but I always wear something!" she snapped, her expression and temper spiking dangerously . "Look, can we just get going? Before I bring out my Tempo for precisely ten seconds you all are not going to enjoy!"
"Yes, ma'am!" saluted the erstwhile bubble-riders, who were now on the ground.
As we started onward again, the bubbles in my line of sight sparked a thought, and I shot a glance Soundbite's way. "Just realized, take a note for Scorpio: the sheepish assassin could be the queen of this island," I muttered.
Soundbite blinked several times. "…I'm caught between LAUGHING and SHUDDERING."
"Just be grateful that she's on our side," Robin said softly, unconsciously rubbing her wrists.
And that was… well, that, mostly. It certainly wasn't the last time we got distracted by the bubbles on the way. But we still managed to keep up a reasonably brisk pace, so Grove 13 came into view not much longer. With it came the view of the Rip-Off Bar, and a surprisingly nice view it was: dingy, but proud and dignified. A marked step up from the rest of the buildings we'd seen on the way, which were… less than well-kept.
Takoyaki 8 was moored down by the 'dock' set up at the root of Mangrove 13, with Kuroobi and Chew currently manning the boat. Well, I say manning, but honestly it just looked like sulking to me. They looked up as we approached and exchanged looks with each other. Then they turned their backs, making a point to look at anything but us.
"Hachi already stowed away his 0.75% cut. The rest is yours to take," Kuroobi muttered darkly, most likely trusting Soundbite to carry his voice.
"Since we're not welcome here or there, just tell Hachi to get us when you're gone," Chew groused. If the way they were angled towards the edge of their vessel was anything to go by, they were clearly about to jump into the water… buuut…
"Oh, I don't think so," I snapped, an action that Soundbite enforced with a harsh buzzer ringing in front of them. "You two aren't going anywhere; you're getting a front row seat to the show we're putting on later. So plant your asses and hold your tongues."
"…why do you keep dragging us in when we all just want to not see each other ever again?" Kuroobi demanded, however much having to ask me that obviously tore at him.
"Because karma's a bitch and working with Hachi isn't paying it off by half," I deadpanned, not sparing them a glance as I walked past. "Now cram it and sit tight. Before the day is out, me and mine are going to dominate the goal you forsook. And I'd hate for you to miss the opening act on the show that's going to change the whoooole wide world."
And with that, we marched up to the bar and paused in front of the door.
"So," Conis mused, leaning back to gaze up at the mossy sign curiously. "The person we're here to meet… Shakky, right?" I grunted in confirmation. "What's she like?"
"Eeeh…" I scratched my cheek as I tried to come up with the best way to phrase the character that was Shakky. "Well, she's sort of like—"
A sudden snickering from my shoulder killed my hesitation dead, and I immediately pushed the door open.
The Rip-Off Bar was just as nice inside as out: quaint, just dingy enough to give the place some attitude, and a healthy blend of comfort and hardiness. The red sofa on one side of the room was vacant; Hachi and Shakky were both situated at the half-circle bar, having a casually polite conversation about something-or-other, while another customer was seated next to Hachi.
…well, I say customer, but from the percussion beat Shakky was idly making with his head and the bartop, something told me he wasn't exactly welcome anymore.
I quickly cleared my throat, getting the conscious pair's attention, and they both beamed eagerly. Or at least, Hachi beamed while Shakky smiled and nodded politely.
"Hey, guys!" Hachi greeted us, three of his arms waving eagerly while the other half gestured at his friend. "I saw your race! So awesome, loved it! I knew you'd be the ones to make it here first, you'd never put down that much treasure without a few tricks up your sleeves! Oh oh oh, but here, let me introduce you to an old friend of mine!"
"So you're finally here," the bartender purred in a voice so smooth it could have pickpocketed Nami. "Welcome, Straw Hats, to both the Sabaody Archipelago and to my one and only Rip-Off Bar. I'm Shakky, the owner of this fine establishment. Pardon the mess, I'm just dealing with a particularly..." She gave her patron an extra hard bounce off the bar before holding him up in place. "Unpleasant cheapskate at the moment."
"Fifteen percent…" the tenderized mook slurred out miserably. "Is a perfectly acceptable tip…"
THWACK!
"In this bar, it's fifty," Shakky informed him in a desert-dry tone, adding a no-look right cross for good measure. "Now out." And with the briefest flick of her wrist, she flung him straight out the open door, forcing the rest of us to lean, duck or leap out of the way lest we get brained by the poor bastard.
I stayed angled to the side for a bit before finally glancing back at Conis. "So, yeah, she's kind of like that."
"Meep."
"I could learn a few things from this woman," Nami mused with an eager grin.
"MEEP!"
"Conis, you're embarrassing yourself," Su sniffed.
"Oh, is that 'Cottontail' Su I hear snarking in my general vicinity?" Shakky hummed inquisitively, pinning Su in place with a lazy yet somehow intense look. "My, her poster doesn't do her justice. Say, just how attached are you to that tail of yours? I have an old stole I've been dying to patch up, and that looks like it'd do the trick."
"Meep!" the fox yelped, ducking behind Conis's head.
"Shishishi!" Luffy snickered, grinning at the bartender. "Man, you're really funny!" Before I could chastise him for the disrespect, his devil-may-care grin took on an unmistakably sharp edge. "You actually remind me of Shanks and his crew a bit."
Oh. Great. Serious Luffy. Excuse me while we boggle a bit. Shakky, meanwhile, donned a sharp smile of her own. "Ah yes, the ginger-haired twerp. I remember him."
Vivi twitched and inadvertently let out a small gale of terror. "D-Did she just call one of the Four Emperors a twerp?"
"Well, of course I did," the bartender remarked with a fond smile. "I got to know him when he was just a rookie, though I'll admit that he's done pretty well for himself since then." Her smile became significantly more sincere, and she waved her arm out over the bar. "I've got plenty of stories to share with you if you'd care to come in."
"Would I!?" Luffy squeed, all starry-eyed as he zipped up to the bar and planted his ass in the seat. "Tell me tell me tell me!"
And that was the signal for the rest of us. The tension broken, we all streamed into the… surprisingly roomy bar, everyone spreading out and getting comfortable at their leisure. Some people planted their hindquarters on the sofas, others seated themselves at tables Shakky indicated for them to fold out, and Hachi, Luffy, Zoro, Nami and I ended up taking the bar.
In short order, the once orderly bar descended into the usual rowdiness, a change that Shakky thankfully accepted with a fond smile. Nami, on the other hand, could only wince at the logical result of a band of rowdy pirates (namely, ours) being crammed into a single, slightly-too-small building. Namely…
"Hey, bet my skullplate is thicker than this table!"
"Not a chance!"
CRACK!
"Well, I'll be damned, cracked clean through. You were right!"
"Gwergh… Yaaaaay..."
Lots of property damage.
Our bursar gave Shakky a long-suffering look that begged forgiveness. "I am so sorry for their… everything," she lamented.
Shakky, however, carelessly waved her off. "Oh, no worries. I'm actually enjoying this, if I'm being honest. The Rip-Off Bar hasn't been quite this rowdy in a long time, and the energy is quite… pleasant. Reminds me of happier days. Why, I might even let you slide on paying for the damages."
"Hey, think your skullplate is harder than this table too?"
"Let's find out!"
The bartender's mouth twitched slightly at one corner. "Might."
Sighing in exasperation, Nami extended her Eisen Cloud to wrangle the responsible dugongs (Mikey and Raphey, big surprise), hanging them before her and the bartender by their tails. The second mate's expression was completely blank as she stared into the amphibians' puny little souls.
"If your antics make a significant dent in the prize money that we just won, I will take it out of your hides. Got it?"
The pair nodded frantically.
"Good." And with that, her clouds flicked out and tossed the dugongs back out so that they could go back to having fun. Less destructive fun.
Once the latter part was confirmed, Nami turned back to our host. "But speaking of the prize money…"
A knock of leather on wood, and a trapdoor clicked open behind Nami. A trapdoor from which a veritable flood of golden light spilled forth, accompanied by the dulcet tones of an angelic choi—no, that was just Soundbite being overdramatic.
"To the victors go the spoils," Shakky said, waving invitingly. "If you'd care to check that everything is well accounted for—?"
"EEEEEHEEHEEHEEEE!" And it was with that particularly ear-murdering squee of unadulterated joy that Nami literally backflipped out of her seat, diving head first into the gold below with enough skill to make an Olympian green with envy. Or, more appropriately in this case, Scrooge McDuck. "MINEMINEMINE! AAAAALL MIIIIIINE!"
Vivi gave the cackling trapdoor a wary once-over. "Just making sure, but humans can't actually spontaneously transform into dragons from excessive greed, right? That's… just mythology, correct?"
Chopper, also staring at the trapdoor, giggled gleefully. "We'll find out soon enough!"
The wind-woman shuddered fearfully, flicking her finger to slam the trapdoor shut. "Joy."
Shakky's positive demeanor returned in full force. "Ah, now this truly reminds me of the good old days."
"You mean the days when you knew Shanks, right? Right?" Luffy cut in, eagerly bouncing on his stool.
"Why yes," the bartender nodded, a slightly wistful glint entering her eyes. "Or, well, not I, personally, but our mutual friend 'the coater'... hmm, half fell into, half was volunteered into playing quartermaster aboard the ship he sailed on. I'm sure he'd love to tell you all about it…though unfortunately…" Shakky's gaze sharpened as her eyes flicked to the side. Towards me. "He's not here at the moment. Honestly, I'm not sure when he'll be back…"
Her lips quirked up into a sly smirk. "Though I believe I recall that he said something along the lines of…not wanting to 'make things too easy for them?'"
Neither of my superiors could miss the fact that she was side-eyeing me as she said that, and both glanced at me…or, well, Zoro glanced, Luffy stared with open and innocent curiosity. Anyway, it was easy to see that this was a test of my savviness. And given that I wasn't in the habit of disappointing people…
"Translation," I sighed in a truly put-upon manner, propping my chin up on my fists with an over-exaggerated huff. "The old coot sold himself for shits and giggles, and he expects us to come valiantly smashing through the doors like a rabid pack of Sea Kings." Though I said all this in a deadpan, the effect was slightly ruined by the smirk I wore. "Well, while I certainly do see the appeal of smashing and crashing with wild abandon… meh, not feeling it at the moment. You don't think he'd mind if we let him stew for a little while?"
Shakky muffled a snicker behind one hand. "Neither he nor I would expect anything less. Well!" She straightened and clapped her hands, neatly grabbing everyone's attention. "So long as you're here, know that the Rip-Off Bar is open to the Straw Hat Pirates for whatever it or I can provide…" She cast a half-amused, half-don't-fuck-with-me look at Luffy. "Aside from bottomless free food and booze, of course. I'll allow you a couple of rounds on the house, but I'd go out of business catering to the likes of you."
"Maaaah, but I wouldn't eat that much," Luffy complained mildly, obliviously digging his pinky up in his nostril. "Just 'til I was full."
"And that would bankrupt even the biggest restaurant in the world," Sanji deadpanned.
Shakky chuckled and shook her head. "Anyway, as amusing as dangling food before your hungry captain is…" Her gaze narrowed in on me. "If you don't mind me asking, would it be too terribly impolite for me to inquire about whatever… machinations you might have in store for the archipelago? There are oh so many inquiring minds who are dying to know."
As amusing as she tried to make things sound, though, her question sobered me up damn fast, and prompted me to give the order I'd been dreading giving all fuckingday.
"Soundbite. Pump it in."
My snail shuddered miserably but nodded. "ROGER-ROG-ERGH… sorry to do this everyone… but brace for hell."
And hell was exactly what we heard a moment later.
"—Male. 9 years old. 4 feet 4 inches. 60 pounds. Human. Ginger-haired. Green-eyed. Good potential, should make a few thousand—"
"—escape attempt this week. Need to do something more permanent." "Why dontcha just tear up that leg of hers?" "Cripple the slave, cripple the price." "Nah, man, some people pay more for 'em that way." "Really, now… in that case!" CRACK! "AA—"
"—CAN'T SEPARATE US, YOU HAVE TO BUY HIM TOO!" "I came here for a wench, not a wench's brat. It'd be a waste of my time and money, now and for the rest of his life. Now shut up—" "NOO—!"
"—MMPH! MMMMMPH!" "Try and scream all you want, it won't make any difference. But y'know, most slavers don't like it when their property makes too much noise, might wanna kick the habit now." "MMMMMMMPH!" "Wonder how much you'll go for—"
"—stupid slave, now hold still!" SSSSS! "AAAAAAAA—"
And then… no words. Just periodic cracks, followed by wet squelching sounds and a steady drip, drip. And if you strained your ears, you could maybe, just maybe, hear the sound of whimpering.
Most of the animals curled in on themselves. Nami had returned at some point, and her face was darker than her rumbling clouds. Conis, Robin, Merry, and even Sanji all looked to be in varying stages of a PTSD attack. Hachi's entire body was one of despairing misery, curled over the bar and all six of his hands clamping down on his head, hard. Everyone else, even Shakky, had an expression mixed between disgusted and outraged. Luffy in particular was looking absolutely murderous, his head bowed and his face shadowed by his hat.
Speaking of Shakky, she stayed grimly silent for a straight minute before she finally took a deep, heavy drag of her cigarette and ashed it in a single go. Then, letting the smoke curl out of her tightly grit teeth like a damn demon, she gave Soundbite a glare that would have peeled the scales off a Sea King. "Turn. That. Off," she bit out.
It only took a tight nod from me for Soundbite to clamp his jaws shut, killing the noise and leaving us with a harsh silence.
A silence I filled by slowly grinding my teeth together and rhythmically drumming my fingers on the countertop, which was the only thing keeping me halfway sane. "Let me spell it out for you guys: we have set foot into the slave trade capital of the Grand Line. For who-knows-how-long, people on all sides of the law have disappeared into the dark corners of this archipelago, never to see the sun again. Think what happened to Moria's victims, only three hundred times worse. This archipelago is big. It is beautiful…"
I slammed my hands on the table. "And above all else, it is a trap. And more than that, it is a trap that the World Government is fully aware of and allows to continue functioning with impunity so long as the slavers keep providing them with both product and generous donations in return. This market will not crash any time soon, so long as it is left to its own devices."
I slid off my stool and stood heavily on the floor, grimly cracking my neck to the side.
"I've had two plans in mind for this island for a while now. One of them, I'm putting off for as long as possible, but the other is going to be set in motion before the day is out."
I paused, gazing over my crewmates one by one.
"I spent most of our stay on Skelter Bite discussing plans and procedures with every contact I have and then some, and there's only a few things left to set up. I'm asking all of you for your help in this, because when the rest of the Supernovas get here, I'm setting my biggest plan yet into motion. We're going to devastate the slave trade." I let out out a sharp huff. "True, there's no way we'll be able to completely destroy it, but if the plan works, the damage we do today is something it will never recover from."
I slowly turned to look at Luffy. "So. All that being said..." I spread my arms patiently. "Your orders, Captain?"
The rubber-man turned his murderous eyes my way, and my bravado faltered as I realized that some of that anger actually was towards me.
"All you had to do was tell us, Cross. Did you really think we'd need to hear anything like that to want to stop it?" he demanded.
I felt sweat bead on my face, and I swallowed nervously, resisting the urge to tug at my collar. No sane person would ever want Luffy to be legitimately angry at them. Still, that question demanded an answer and I mustered up enough courage to at least look him in the eyes. "I wasn't trying to… convince anyone, Luffy. I merely sought to appropriately… motivate. And unless I missed my mark?" I paused, and allowed the sensation of pure, malicious intent that permeated the room to wash over us. "I accomplished that in spades."
Luffy kept me pinned for a few more seconds. Then, to my immense relief, he nodded. And it really said a lot about just how much our crew valued Luffy's word when that one, single motion absolutely galvanized the room's atmosphere into something out of this world.
A light cough drew our attention, and we all looked to Shakky, who was back to leaning over her bar… but this time, her stance was more reminiscent of a looming gargoyle.
"For the record," she drawled tersely, obviously recovering from our little 'experience'. "The only reason 'our mutual friend' and I haven't done anything about this mess is that if we did, we'd get the full weight of the Marines crashing down on our heads, and while the rest of these islands might be scum, this bar is our home. But, so long as you think you have any better ideas…"
She gave us all a grin that was as sharp as a knife and ten times as deadly.
"I own properties in every district of this Bacchus-forsaken cesspit, and I have many a person who trusts me and many more who owe me favors, whether they like it or not. Anything you could wish for, I'll happily provide…" Her eyes narrowed slightly. "Provided it goes towards lancing the rot out of this place."
"…anything, you say?" I queried, turning to her with an anticipatory look.
The bartender scoffed but relaxed into an almost smug sense of amusement. "Anything that wouldn't go against the spirit of your crew, wise-ass."
I allowed myself a light chuckle before schooling my expression, while hers remained unchanged despite the gravity of the situation..
"We're going to need a base of operations," I started, speaking and pacing at the same time. "As complete and thorough a map of the archipelago as you can manage, names and locations of both your most trusted informants and the most ruthless slavers you know—"
"—a crack hit squad ready to mobilize, a pot of hot coffee, twelve jammy dodgers and a fez!"
I didn't so much as glance at the snail as I snatched him from my shoulder, slapped him upside-down onto the bar, and spun him like a top.
"YEEAAARRRGH!"/"Wheeeeeee!"
I felt my eyelid twitch at the fact that he was crying out in both fear and enjoyment at once, but what else was I expecting from the slimeball by this point?
Meanwhile, Shakky just nodded and started writing the requested information out… though given how much she was writing and the smirk on her lips, there were going to be some extra 'gifts' added to that care package.
"Aaaanyway," I coughed, looking over my crew. "I've got tentative plans for all of you, but I'm open to other ideas if you've got them. So, to start—"
"Cross… can I help?"
All attention fell on the fishman in the room, who despite wringing his hands looked as determined as the rest of us. "I-I've been a disgrace to the mark on my forehead for too long," he said, more to himself than us. "This won't make up for everything I've done, but it'll be a start. I'm strong, I'm fast, and I can cover everywhere around and beneath the island where you can't—sorry, most of you can't cover," he corrected, glancing at Boss. "B-But please, is there anything that I can do?"
I took a moment to consider matters—and most definitely made sure to spend that moment trying to ignore the hole Nami was glaring in the side of my head. But, ultimately…
"Yeah, I can think of a few ways that you and your… associates can be of appropriate use," I agreed. "You think you can keep them under control long enough for them to do some good for once?"
"I've been doing that for the last four months, Cross," Hachi nodded, slamming his fists into his palms with… perhaps a bit too much glee. "If they won't play nice, I'll make them."
"Glad to hear it," I nodded gratefully. "Now then, from the top… here's how it's going to go down."
-o-
"B-B-B-But we don't carry that much bronze at a time!"
"Awwww… you're suuuure you don't?"
"Yes! Positive!"
"Maybe if you checked in the back—?"
"We're a market stall, we don't have a back!"
"…what about brass?"
"For the fifth time, sir—!"
While Usopp watched the doomed salesman try to do the impossible and make Luffy see reason, he tried to smile at his captain's familiar and oft-amusing antics. The better to sell the idea he was watching his captain instead of his surroundings. Usually, that was pretty easy. But after what he'd heard... what he knew was happening in the shadows, just out of his sight… well, it was surprisingly difficult.
And it was in pursuit of putting an end to those shadows that Usopp and his crewmates were out and about in Sabaody's tourist district, raising the biggest ruckus they could and getting as many eyes on themselves as they could manage. It was already public knowledge that the Straw Hats were present on Sabaody, so there was no putting a lid on that. But what could be controlled was where people thought they were.
Hence, the ruckus, providing the perfect distraction so that their crewmates could dig into the rotten woodworks of this archipelago undisturbed. And not just a distraction, but observation, too. Cross had told the crew that he wanted as complete a picture of the pseudo-island as he could get, and it was their job to both attract attention and learn about the archipelago's civilian inhabitants in the process.
All three of the 'immature' pirates were playing a part in things. While Luffy was abysmal at being subtle, there was one talent in the espionage family that he excelled in: getting a good read on people. Usopp's eyes were the sharpest on the crew from his sniping abilities and paranoia, and Brook… well, he was no slouch either given how skilled he was at reading his audiences. Although he wasn't being much help in the subtlety department; even with the welding mask and gloves that he had chosen to wear from Pappug's new wardrobe hiding his bare bones, he was still prone to… other tendencies.
"Oh, excuse me, young miss. May I see your panties?"
BONG!
"My utmost apologies," Usopp ground out, tapping his hammer in his palm in silent threat. "He's a bit of a troublemaker on our crew. Seriously, you'd think he'd learn after, what is this, the eleventh time now?"
"I'm afraid I've lost track by now! Yohohoho!" Brook chortled.
"Just keep him away from us," the young woman said in disgust, she and the older man with her scowling down at Brook's still prone form as they wandered off.
Brook kept up his chuckling and offhanded demeanor for a few more moments - right up until they turned a corner, at which point his mood darkened. "The father was going for a weapon," he solemnly observed.
Usopp nodded in agreement, sweeping his gaze over the onlooking crowd. "And while others were looking, the locals were too scared and resigned to do anything and the tourists thought whatever they thought was going to happen was funny."
Brook dusted himself off and stood back up, slowly scanning the throngs of people coming and going. "Everyone here is armed in some way, be they civilian or tourist. But where the civilians carry them for self-defense…"
"They're not just expecting something. They're eager for someone to start a fight," Usopp finished.
"I hate this already," Luffy rumbled, now beside them and drumming his fingers on his pipe. "Everyone around here either can't or won't fight back, or they'll just jump in when a fight starts, and not for the fun reasons."
"AT LEAST THE chain smith hunting is helping you scout out BRONZE STORES FOR MY—AHEH, I MEAN… YOUR STATUE?" Soundbite hastily amended. "SPEAKING OF WHICH, there's another store two groves ahead of you."
In spite of themselves, Brook and Usopp snorted in laughter from the 'slip of the tongue'. However, said amusement died quickly with Luffy's conspicuous absence in the mirth. Something that Soundbite noticed as well, given how fast he snapped back into seriousness.
"But you're right, Cross has noticed something off too," he said. "For some reason, the people native to Sabaody don't like the so-called 'local culture', WHILE THE TOURISTS LEAN INTO IT WITH GLEE… WE'RE DIRECTING THE OTHERS TO FIND OUT MORE, CROSS THINKS IT COULD BE USEFUL."
Silence fell for a moment, save for their footfalls. After a few steps, Brook spoke up:
"You know, even with the experience on my original crew, I must admit that it's odd to be part of a group of pirates that…" He rolled his phalanges slowly, trying to find the right words. "Care so much."
"Mmm…" Usopp rubbed his chin, incapable of properly refuting his crewmate's words. "Would it help for me to point out that we're going to be making out like kings if everything goes right?"
"That does put me on more familiar footing, yes," the skeleton nodded in agreement.
"I only need one reason to do this."
The two pirates turned to see that their captain had doffed his hat and was staring down at it with a grave expression.
"I never wanted to be a hero," Luffy said quietly. "But when I think about what Shanks would do…" He trailed off, his expression contorting into a heavier frown. Then he shoved his hat back on his head and looked up. "Soundbite. Connect me to Cross," Luffy said.
"Roger roger. Yes, Captain?" came the commies' voices, shifting smoothly from one to another.
"Why hasn't Shanks… or Whitebeard, or someone else done this already?" Luffy demanded. "I know how strong they are from meeting their crewmates on Skelter Bite… so why not? They could do it all by themselves if they wanted to and the Government wouldn't be able to stop them."
There was silence for a few seconds before Cross heaved a tired sigh.
"This is an educated guess, not my knowledge, but I'd hypothesize—ah, reckon—that it's because they're on the other side of the Red Line. The Four Emperors rule the New World, and transferring enough manpower to this side to do what we're doing would be painting a target on their backs, both for the other Emperors and the Government, because they wouldn't take this lying down. Not that we're going to give them any choice. But bottom line? They have too much on their plate."
"…and what about Sonia's crew? What about Dad's crew?" Luffy pressed, a slight tinge of frustration tainting his voice.
Cross let out a negative-sounding grunt. "The former lack the power to withstand the consequences, and the latter already have their sights set on the root of the problem. But even then, their forces are spread thin all over the world, and this is just one region. Forces here means islands that either don't throw off the World Government, or that fall back under it. Slaves out there, slaves here. It's a hard choice, but it's one that has to be made. And with any luck, our actions today will alleviate some of the pressure."
Luffy mulled that information over for a bit, his face reddening some from the influx, before he nodded in acknowledgement. "The past doesn't matter. What matters is now," he reminded himself. "We'll get back to making noise and looking for metal, but where's everyone else, Cross? What are they doing?"
"Right now? They're spread out across the archipelago. Half are still on their original jobs, but I've redirected others based on new information."
-o-
"Franky and Merry have made contact with the local criminal underworld, and are getting a better perspective on how things are structured around here. They're en route to meet with the leader of smugglers in the the northern groves, Bomoss, as we speak."
Despite how reliable a business slavery was with the World Government's willful blindness, a surprisingly large number of the island's criminals were not involved in the market. There were several reasons for this, among them the competition in the market, simple disinterest in that side of crime - and the fact that being criminals did not mean that they lacked standards.
"And if anyone alive should know that better than anyone, it's me," the cyborg chuckled, grinning with a hint of malice at the dumbstruck group whose warehouse he had barged into. "After all, I ran crime on Water 7. So finding you guys? Not that hard."
"So now, the only question we need answered at the moment…" Merry mused, swaying back and forth on Franky's shoulder as she idly drummed her fingers on her cannon's barrel. "Is which side of wrong you're on."
That apparently hit a nerve, and the band of thugs in front of the pirates visibly bristled in both body and weaponry.
"You wanna say that again, pipsqueak?" a broad-shouldered bruiser snarled, slamming his fist into his palm.
"Yeah, yeah, say it again!" a scrawnier cutthroat with a dead eye hissed as he flipped a knife in his fingers. "We ain't like those rot-headed newts! And we'll cut anyone who says we are!"
That comment got a confused glance between Merry and Franky. "What do you mean, 'newts'?" Franky asked.
The thugs got even tenser, and some even looked to be on the verge of attacking…
"It's slang."
Before a rough and accented voice cut through the air, and the criminals all relaxed. They parted ranks, allowing a grizzled, middle-aged man wearing a bush hat of worn leather to walk up. The man gave the Straw Hats a searching look before nodding at his men, who all returned to shifting their ill-gotten crates about like they'd never been interrupted.
The man—the smugglers' leader—returned his focus to the Straw Hats. "It's slang," he repeated. "For slavin' scum, seein' how they keep toadyin' up to the Celestial Dragons. And you best bet your bottom bubble that there ain't a one of those bleedin' slaver bastards who's a truly green-blooded Sabaodian, like me and my boys. Us here, we're smugglers, forgers, traffickers. We deal in goods and contraband, we rip people off, yeah… but we do not deal in flesh, and if ever I found out that any of mine did, I'd tie 'em to a bubble and float 'em up until it popped!" The man punctuated his mini-rant by slamming his fist in his palm.
A pause, while the man collected himself, and then he gave the two pirates a respectful nod and tipped his hat to them. "The name's Bomoss, and I'm the leader of the Double Dozen Smugglers. Whereas you two are Merry and Franky o' the Straw Hat Pirates. What can I do you for? If you're lookin' for goods we can get you a decent enough price, but in terms of coatin' we'd need ta outsource, in which case me and mine'll be takin' our own cut of things. Or, maybe…" The smuggler boss's gaze sharpened slightly. "You lookin' to do somethin' a little bit more… local, perhaps?"
The pirates shared another look, and a nod from Franky prompted Merry to stow her gun and respond. "We're here for information. Criminals, smugglers especially, know their cities better than anyone else, and we need to know this archipelago like the back of our hands before the day is over. So, we came to you."
"'Know the archipelago', eh? Sounds simple 'nuff…" The grizzled man gave the pirates a wry smirk. "You Straw Hats… you lot really don't know jack 'bout our home, do ya?" He waved off their nascent protests with an indulgent chuckle. "'Nah, 's alright, 'ts not like most anyone knows or cares past our roots anyways. So, if'n you're askin'..." He waved them over to the side of the warehouse and indicated an empty crate for them to sit at. "Allow me to educate ya."
Taking the cue, the cyborg took a seat and Merry slid off to take her own, he and the ship-girl giving grateful nods to the smuggler.
"We appreciate this," the cyborg politely said. "And for starters, the entire reason we're here is to get answers on what has our tactician stumped: he doesn't get how there could even be a criminal underground we could talk with in a place like this, and I gotta say, I kind of agree with him."
Franky waved his hand around, indicating the warehouse. "We thought you were all slavers here, but instead we're finding out that barely any locals are slavers at all, not even your criminals. But, how are there 'locals' to begin with? And… in terms of 'criminals', how come there are 'police' here too, or a 'government?' Don't the Marines usually run the show on places as small as this?"
"Actually, you got that little tidbit backwards, ya clankin' bloke," Bomoss groused. "First off, those white-hatted arseholes being here's a new thing. Up 'til Roger popped the top on his Era, they left well enough 'lone. 'Fore then, we ran things on our own, for a length o' the word…" He heaved a tired sigh as he scratched the back of his neck. "But really, them bein' here ain't changed things much either way."
He huffed and clapped his hands together. "Roight, let's start at the beginning: everything there is to know about Sabaody comes straight back to its location. Fun fact 'bout this here bundle o' trees: It's literally the single closest island ta Mariejois in all the six seas. And that makes it one of the biggest crossroads in the entire dang world. And an intersea-crossroads means intersea trade.
"You're right that there wasn't ever a native people on these here trees, like a lot of other islands, but that don't mean we ain't got our roots." The smuggler paused to proudly thump his own chest. "Sabaodians are basically people whose families stuck around hundreds of years ago, makin' money off of everyone else who came through, and then just kept on stickin' 'round makin' a livin' like that 'til today. We stuck 'round long enough that we even started makin' this place ours, and makin' our own rules. It's why we've got our own government an' all that, our own culture. We've got blood from all over the world mixed in here; heck, in case my voice ain't clued you in yet, me da's blood hails from the deep South."
"Oh, yeah, I'd wondered…" Merry muttered.
"Anyway, like I was sayin': trade. Times were that Sabaody was the biggest tradin' hub in all the world, and to a level, it still is. You wanna pass somethin' from one Blue to another, easy money says it'll land here first before poppin' off to where it should go." The smuggler leader then scowled and chopped his hand to the side. "But back then, slaves weren't our bread and buttah! They were there, yeah, but that was a long time ago, and they were everywhere, so it wasn't nothin' special. 'Least, Sabaody slaves weren't nothin' special…" Another huff, and he glanced away. "'Till some arse-headed bastard got it in his head to up the game, and provide a product nobody else could match or find elsewhere."
"Mermaids…" the pirates darkly concluded.
"Merfolk in general, more like," Moboss nodded. "See, thing you gotta understand, mates? Just like how you'll never find a Sabaodian who's a slaver, you'll never find one of us hatin' on the scalenecks either. And why would we? They're our neighbors, we live right next to the blokes, we know they're just like everyone else! But 'ta everyone else, they're monstahs, and monstahs sell big. And when one blighter started makin' hard gold for scales, a lot of other bastards started doin' the same. And this held steady for a bit… 'till the scalenecks wised up, and stopped makin' themselves easy to catch." The smuggler sighed, and his head fell. "But by that point, the chum was in the water."
"Because the slavers had funds and an appetite for more…" Franky slowly deduced. "They didn't drop the slave trade, they doubled down."
"Damn right they did!" the criminal snarled, slamming his fist on the crate. "When they couldn't make money on scales, they started sellin' flesh by the truckload, and especially to the World Nobles. And when demand for the 'quality product' of our waters started bloatin' up, others came sniffin' around for a cut of things too. Made things right nasty 'round here for a while, true 'nuff…" Bomoss's scowl deepened. "But things didn't get outright rotten 'til two hundred years ago."
"Two hundred…" Frowning, Merry counted on her fingers before stiffening in realization. "Wait, isn't that when slavery was officially outlawed by the World Government?"
"Yeh. Officially. 'Course, those bastards'll let anything slide for the right ditty, and gold sings nice and pretty." Several snickers echoed out from the warehouse, and Bomoss snapped his head and a paint-peeling glare that direction. "YEAH, I KNOW THAT RHYMED, SHUT IT AND GET BACK TO WORK! Ugh, anyway…" He shook his head. "When the law passed, most other slavers in the world couldn't make themselves worth enough to the Marines to be worth keepin' alive, but the ones squattin' in our groves did. They let their gold sing right in the ears o' the Nobles, and for that, Sabaody became a blind spot. Not just for them, but for the entire damn flesh market. A specialty became a monopoly, or damn close to it." The smuggler spat to the side in disgust. "Now it's not just all goods that come through Sabaody. It's all chains too."
"We Sabaodians, we hate what our home has become with every inch of our bein's…" he sighed, slumping in his seat. "But it ain't like there's much we can do about it. You tourists, you've always had the power. More weapons, more strength, more goods and gold." He waved his hand dismissively. "Heck, even the Marines don't give a darn; if it ain't pirate and has the gold, they don't see a thing. Our home's become a glorified playground, nothin' more. A stagin' ground, meant for everyone else's use to exploit their grimmest vices. Means we can't change how it's used… no matter how much we hate it. All we can do is watch."
"…Let me guess: the local government is just as messed up," deadpanned Franky.
"Hah! Guvner Prefectus and his cronies… yeh, lemme tell you all 'bout them."
-o-
"Robin, Vivi and Koala are infiltrating the Archipelago's government. It'll help us gauge local reactions better, and besides that, it'll give us forewarning if anything interferes with a critical part of my plan's follow-through."
"What you need to understand about Governor Prefectus is that him and his cabinet, they're-they're not bad at their jobs, in fact he's rather good! It's just… at times, he, they…"
"Choose… not to be," Koala completed slowly, her face screwing up in distaste as she looked over the civilized landscape of the 71st Grove through the window.
The bureaucrat the pirates and revolutionary were speaking with, a blonde bespectacled woman with her hair in a messy bun, bit her lip before nodding in defeat.
Sighing in dismay, Vivi let a stack of documents the woman had been working on thump on the desk, grabbing another, even larger stack and scanning through. "Professional incompetents. Eurgh, the worst kind of politicians to deal with because they always make sure to dig in like ticks…"
"Oh, maybe so, maybe so," Robin purred as she leaned on the office's door, ever so casually keeping several unflinching gazes on the surrounding hallways. "But that doesn't mean there aren't advantages as well. After all, meddlers like them make such delightful squealing noises when you take them by the balls and apply just the right amount of pressure."
Vivi paused and looked up at her pseudo-mentor in confusion. "Are… you speaking metaphorically or—?"
"Ladies, I do believe this line of questioning is irrelevant to our current purpose…" Koala interrupted with a hasty cough, glancing in concern at their temporary and rapidly green-ifying ally. "And also, I think you're starting to scare our source."
"But surely she must be used to such topics of conversation," Robin replied, her prior levity gone. "After all, this is the office that processes all the generous donations made to the government of Sabaody by… what did they call it again?"
"Faithful constituents," Vivi dryly read off one of the documents.
"Ah, yes, constituents. That is your business, Is it not, Miss Libia?"
The green melted away to red, and the paper-pusher shoved herself to her feet with a harsh slap of her hands on her desk. "Mrs. Libia," she firmly corrected. "And I will have you know that I have no part in this… this!" she spat, swiping a stack of the papers off her desk and scattering them across the floor. "I'm just the one that the-the bastards above me force the paperwork onto! And what am I supposed to do about it?"
Libia groaned and sank back into her seat, massaging her eyes. "I can have eyes sharper than swords for noticing every inconsistency that comes through. And I can count every single shell company the funds pass through before reaching me. And I could even get the genealogies of the bastards all these bribes are coming from going back to their tenth generation! But what sort of whistleblowing can I do when everyone above my head is corrupt, when they're the ones making me handle their dirty money!?"
She picked up one fluttering paper and regarded it with a defeated expression. "Dirty money that comes from both above and below, at that. Honestly, it's one thing to receive generous donations that are delivered by courier, at least that's halfway subtle, but it is insulting when payment is delivered by the Marines in order to provide 'financial support' for our government…"
Tossing the paper aside, Libia slumped back in her admittedly very comfy-looking chair, one hand over her eyes. Running said hand down her face, her eyes fell onto a picture on the desk, and began to moisten.
"You know what they call my department?" she said, her voice soft and miserable. "'The Office of Cultural Affairs'. Cultural. This is what the world sees our culture as. What even bastards like Prefectus think it is."
Libia held up the picture for the three outlaws to see, her face a picture of despair. "I have a husband. I have children, born and raised here. And I am genuinely terrified that they will not only think that this is their legacy… but that if nothing is done, they could come to accept it. Happily."
For a long moment, nobody said anything. Then Robin spoke up. "Pardon my curiosity, but aren't you being a tad candid, sharing all this with the three women who, might I remind you, broke into your office not ten minutes ago?"
"And are among the most infamous criminals in the world, I might note," Koala added.
"And who else would you have me discuss this with, hm?" Libia snorted dismissively. "In case you haven't been hearing me, I'll remind you that all of my coworkers are literally a part of the problem."
"All of them?" Vivi repeated. "You can't think of anyone else you'd trust?"
The bureaucrat's expression turned flat. "I haven't exactly raised a petition on the matter, no. That's a 'severance package' I'd rather not collect, if it's all the same to you."
"Well, then, in that case," Koala said, clapping her hands and stepping away from the window to show an eager grin on her face. "I think I know what we'll be looking into next."
"And I think I know where we can get a few leads on where not to start…" Vivi mused, snapping her fingers to alert her crew's leading snail.
-o-
"Tashigi's making contact with men sent from Smoker's fleet and infiltrating the local garrison, under the pretense of acting as reinforcements to help hunt us. When the time comes, she's going to put a hurt on them like nothing they've felt before."
"…got it. I'll move that up on the priority list…mmph, but…" The lieutenant rubbed her chin. "I can't promise it'll be that fast, we don't have that kind of time…alright. Alright, I see where you're coming from, I'll do what I can. Pisces out."
The static faded, and Tashigi nodded and turned back to face the Marines before her, straightening out her outfit for more of that oddly satisfying feeling. The outfit that the Straw Hats had forced her into was securely locked away in the scuzziest closet she could find, only to be removed so that it could be burned at the earliest opportunity. She honestly didn't think she'd been so happy to don her uniform in months.
As for the aforementioned Marines, Smoker had sent a dozen of his men ahead to the island a week prior without notifying anyone. If anyone were to ask, the cover story was that Tashigi had sailed with them to the island for a private mission, taking advantage of the likely once-in-a-lifetime deficit of pirate presence.
"Alright. Chief Petty Officer Nomaru, report," she ordered. "What are your squad's observations from the past week?"
"Lieutenant." The lead soldier snapped a salute, then nodded. "We've had no issue acquiring information from the local Marines about their daily operations. They've been very cooperative." He frowned. "Actually, they've been too cooperative. I've witnessed inspections and audits on several Marine bases, but I can rightly say this is the first time I've seen one that's been outright eager to accommodate us."
Tashigi matched the soldier's frown, casting her mind back to the mini-crusade she'd directed in the East Blue, and she had to concur with her subordinate: in every base she'd inspected (read: raided), the corrupt Marines had always done their best to rush her out, so that she couldn't find the cracks in their facade. So for a group of Marines she knew couldn't be anything but corrupt to be so forthcoming was… confusing, to say the least. "And? What did you find?"
"Nothing was out of place, Lieutenant. Reassignment forms, arrest documentation, medical records, all organized in perfect compliance with headquarters' policies. Their troops are competently trained and drilled and none of them show any issue. But…" The officer cradled his chin, casting a thoughtful gaze toward the base. "The one discrepancy I did notice is that they seem to be… hyper-focused on subduing pirates."
"They do get every pirate trying to get to the New World coming through here," Tashigi pointed out, for the sake of Devil's Advocacy if nothing else.
"Yes, much like how we got all the ones trying to get to Paradise," Nomaru agreed with a slow nod. "But back in Loguetown, we unilaterally arrested all criminals on the island, like drug-dealers and gangsters, wherever possible. But these Marines… they barely acknowledge the existence of any other kind of outlaw…" His expression darkened. "Especially including the slave trade. Every time that we've asked, we've been met with the same response of—"
"Let me guess," Tashigi interrupted, snapping her hands up. "'It was outlawed 200 years ago, there is no slave trade anymore.'"
"With varying levels of venom, affirmative," Nomaru bit out. "This place does one of the best damn jobs of hiding it I've ever seen, but the fact remains: it's as rotten as a week-old Sea King carcass. Your orders, ma'am?"
Tashigi exhaled sharply, measuring her original assignment against her new priority. After only a moment, she looked back up at Nomaru.
"Nomaru, take Popora and five soldiers of your choice to their central administrative building. Gauge everyone that you can access and determine who among them is trustworthy. You'll have other aid from the Masons to help you. Everyone else, with me."
She drew Shigure, giving the blade a final critical look… and securing her glasses, ignoring an amused chuff from Popora, before sheathing the blade at her hip.
"We're going to give this island the once-over of the century! Agreed?!"
"MA'AM, YES MA'AM!"
-o-
"As for everyone else, they're sniffing out the slavers from every nook and cranny they could possibly hide in. Chopper is leading Conis, Su and Donny through every back-alley quack and drug-slinger he can find so that he can trace any drugs they might have sold under the table to their buyers…"
"Now, doctor," Chopper huffed patiently, slipping his goggles off and examining them for a moment before polishing off a slight stain on the lens. "We're both men of medicine—me more than you, clearly, but still—so why don't we try and achieve a mutually beneficial conclusion without too much hardship, hm? Just give me your records and I won't be forced to resort to… drastic measures to extract the knowledge. In fact, we might even go so far as to compensate you for your time." He replaced his goggles and tilted his mirrored gaze curiously. "Does this sound amenable to you?"
"L-Like hell it is! I-I provide surplus supplies to some v-very powerful people! If they find out I talked—n-no way, I want to live, damn it! I-I'm not telling you anything! So screw off!"
"Hm, have to admire the determination, at least," the human-reindeer remarked. And it really was impressive, what with Donny, perched on a high shelf, holding the back-alley saw-bone's ankles so that he was upside down, his head nearly touching the floor. "But, regrettably, we are on a timetable. Conis? Kindly motivate the man."
"With pleasure," the angelic gunner cheerfully replied. But instead of making any threatening moves, she walked over to a brown paper bag sitting on top of a pile of syringes on a nearby table, opening it up. "Is this your lunch?"
The doctor blinked. Chopper blinked. So did Donny. "Er… yes?" the doctor weakly replied.
Nodding, Conis peered inside and gave it a sniff. Reaching in, she pulled out a somewhat greasy-looking fried chicken sandwich. "Smells great, where'd you get this?" she asked.
"Er, there's a stand in Grove 21. It's, uh, called the Crazy Chicken, I think?"
"Excellent!" Conis beamed. "I'll have to check it out after this." She took a bite. "Mm, that is good. Alright, Carl, can I call you Carl?"
"Er, that's not my—"
"Great! Here's the deal, Carl." Abruptly, all traces of good cheer vanished from both Conis's expression and posture, replaced by cold indifference. "I spent six years being forced to send innocent people to their deaths at the hands of sadistic psychopaths, unable to so much as weep for them because the tyrant who ruled my island would have vaporized me if I betrayed him. I never got the chance to pay that tyrant back; if I did, I would not hesitate to take his life. And you?" Her lips turned downward in a harsh frown, emphasizing the quiet fury in her eyes. "You're almost worse, aiding and abetting the practice of taking innocent people and putting them in that situation so you can line your own pockets. But I know what you're thinking, and you're right. As a rule, we Straw Hats don't like taking life."
Stepping up to the man, she leaned down, her expression eerily serene.
"So I have a friendly suggestion for you: perhaps you should be worrying less about your employers, who have already made up their minds to kill you later, and worry more about me, who's still mulling over doing it now."
And then… she took another bite of the sandwich.
For several seconds, silence reigned over the clinic, until it was broken by a low whistle from Su. "Damn, girl!"
"B-Bullshit, I watch the SBS!" the doctor spat in a sudden bout of courage. "I don't care what you say, d-do you really expect me to believe that a Straw Hat could murder a complete stranger point-blank? E-Especially this ditz of all people! You might be n-nuts, b-but unless you're making yourself really nuts, you're nothing but a cowa—!"
"Oh well, so much for Plan B," Chopper interrupted, rummaging around in his bag. "Time for Plan C." He straightened, a bottle prominently marked with hazard symbols in hoof, and sighed. "Which really should stand for 'complicated mess', because there's a fifty percent chance that that's how I'll be describing your insides if I use this."
Again, silence hung over the air, though this time the doctor was sweating buckets. Then Chopper turned around, a wide grin on his face and his eyes gleaming with madness.
"Oh, well. For science! Conis, hold him still, and get ready for some thrashing."
"Of course, doctor!" Conis chirped, before looking mournfully at the sandwich. "Oh well, I can get another one." Holding the sandwich in front of the doctor, she mimed him opening his mouth. "Don't worry, this is just to make sure you don't bite your tongue off. Still need you to answer, after all. Now either say what we want, or say ah."
"A… a-ah…"
Conis shrugged with a serene smile. "Well, if you say so—!"
"A-ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, I'LL TALK, I'LL TALK!" the 'doctor' finally howled, flailing in a state of pure panic. "T-THEY'RE UNDER THE FLOORBOARDS, BENEATH MY DESK, BENEATH MY DESK! J-JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE DAMN IT!"
Chopper paused mid-preparation, and both he and Conis smiled brightly at the man. "Now, see, was that truly so hard?" the angel chirped pleasantly.
"Indeed, we're much obliged by your sincerity," Chopper tipped his hat politely, turning to shove said desk aside. "And just in case… Su, if he's lying, eat his testicles."
"WAIT, WHAT?!"
The named cloud fox leapt from her partner's shoulders and sat on her haunches in front of the saw-bone's face, baring her fangs. "That'll be my pleasure."
-o-
"While Sanji is getting help from Mikey and Sandersonia to accomplish the same with their food supplies."
There were a few reasons that Sandersonia had chosen Sanji to accompany despite the latter's lecherous nature. He was still one of the strongest members of the crew, he needed the help with most of the other crew members occupied, he could be counted on to scare away anyone who looked at her the wrong way without her having to risk revealing her identity…
…no, that last one was definitely the most relevant reason at this stage. Everyone knew that not even Sanji's attraction to women could overpower the absolute respect he had for food. And considering the nature of their current assignment, the sheer amount of wasted and unsalvageable food that Sanji was being forced to observe, he was in a very foul mood. Smoke rose from his footsteps and fists as he paced up and down the alley, and he was visibly eager to lash out at the first schmuck who'd be so stupid as to try and provoke him.
The hooded cloak and jeans that hid her form were almost superfluous with everyone actively avoiding the chef and the hellfire-and-brimstone aura he was putting out.
Still, scary as the cook was at the moment, the serpent Zoan couldn't deny feeling some doubt in the back of her mind.
"Are you sure about this plan of yours?" Sandersonia posed.
"Mmph, sure as I can be. However inhumanely the slavers treat their merchandise, they still need them alive. They can only starve them so much before feeding them, and I doubt they'd 'waste' money on buying it fresh, be it the whole meals or just the ingredients," Sanji quietly answered, his teeth audibly grinding on his cigarette. "And even if it's just garbage, that garbage comes from somewhere. All food reaches a mouth, we just need to follow it until then…"
"Hss…" Sandersonia nodded, reluctantly conceding the point. "Okay, but how do we actually follow this trail of yours?"
The cook snorted out a cloud of smoke. "That's the hard part. We need to find the start of the trail, and then we can start running it back, but until then—"
"Hey, Sanji," Mikey suddenly spoke up, intently eyeing one of the ends of the alleyway. "You mentioned garbage?"
"Yeah. What about it?"
Mikey pointed out into the street with his flipper. "See those busboys over there?"
Sanji and Sandersonia both looked over the dugong's shoulder at the men he was indicating. "The ones splitting a wad of cash?" the former queried.
"Last time I saw them," the dugong bit out. "They were walking out of a restaurant carrying trash bags."
The brief moment of silence that encompassed the trio was broken by the harsh FWOOSH! of Sanji's cigarette immolating. "…oh, I am going to enjoy this."
Credit where it was due, said busboys clearly had good survival instincts. They immediately straightened and looked right at the pirates. Unfortunately, their good sense seemed to be lacking; while one of them turned and bolted the other drew a derringer from his pocket and pointed it at them.
The next second, Sanji had Shaved in front of the runner and Mikey had shot the gun out of the other one's hand.
"Hello, morons," Sanji drawled slowly, taking the busboys by their shoulders and slowly but patiently shoving them towards the alley. "Let me make this nice and simple so that the single brain cell you share can keep up. You currently have two choices: answer all of our questions honestly…"
He then shoved them forwards so that they faceplanted in the alley… right at the foot of the titanic serpent-woman that was suddenly looming over them, hissing like a geyser seconds from blowing with her knife-sized fangs bared.
"Or get fed to the lovely lady before you, feet first." Sanji shrugged indifferently as he lit a new cigarette and took a patient drag from it. "Your choice."
"And just so we're clear," Mikey added, snapping his nunchucks taut. "You don't get to choose 'pass out from sheer terror' as a third option."
The two saps' faces were utterly devoid of color. One moved as though to start crawling away, and the chef responded by stomping beside his hand. The busboy pulled back so fast it was like the ground was on fire. Except it was.
"Though if you want to be char-broiled before she eats you, I think that could be arranged," the dugong added, almost as an afterthought.
That pushed them over the edge, and they started screaming out every name, location, and password that they knew.
-o-
"The fishmen are fleshing out the maps we already have with the help of the rest of our guard force."
"And that's the 50s complete," Chew grumbled, pointing at the last location he'd recorded. "You got all of that?"
The purple-wearing dugong nodded before turning around and bouncing off of and into the air.
"IF SHE GETS MAD, IT'S ON YOUR HEAD, NOT MINE!" the fishman called after him before diving back under the waves.
THWACK!
And taking a fist to his skull as soon as he submerged.
"AND WHAT WAS THAT FOR, HACHI, CHEW!?" the smelt-whiting fishman snarled.
The octopus folded his six arms, disappointment written all over him. "In case you haven't noticed, we're doing something amazing here. I haven't felt this good since Fisher Tiger was alive. Unlike when we were with Arlong, I don't need to try and justify what I'm doing. But you! Is it really that hard for you two to bite down on your hatred!?"
The other two fishmen narrowed their eyes at him; a moment later, Kuroobi rolled his with a dismissive scoff. "This isn't about aiding humans, Hachi. Hell, it's not even about aiding the Straw Hats." The way he snarled the name out made the unspoken 'barely' very clear. "I don't like it, but I'm not upset about species."
"Pretty sure we're of the same mind, then, chew," Chew chimed in. "We're upset about putting in all this work to try and do the impossible, chew. Sabaody has thwarted every attempt by the Ryugu Royal Family and the residents of the Fishman District to take it down, so what makes you think that this human's plan will be any different?"
"And before you bring up Enies Lobby, that's another point against all this. The World Government isn't going to let the Straw Hats get away with something like that twice," Kuroobi tacked on. "Seriously, Hachi, you've done some boneheaded things before, but even giving Roronoa Zoro a ride out of Arlong Park after he broke out of the prison and tore our crewmates apart wasn't as stupid as this."
Hachi's face reddened. Hard to say how much of it was anger versus shame. Unfolding his top pair of arms, he started counting off on his fingers. "Alright, first of all, you're a jackass for bringing that up. Second… I'm not privy to all the details, but from what I heard, the Straw Hats have help this time around. A lot of help. Third, that blockade was the Government's second-best shot against the Straw Hats, and at this point, it's… what was that phrase… matches and razors. And fourth…"
He slammed his knuckles together, looking three seconds away from thumping his employees. Again. "Have you guys already forgotten!? Climbing the Red Line. Burning Mariejois. Freeing every last slave. What Fisher Tiger did was impossible, too. He did it anyway. He didn't care that what he wanted to do was impossible. Neither do the Straw Hats, and neither do I! We're pirates! Ignoring reality and achieving possibility, that is what we aim for flying the Jolly Roger! And if you don't like it, you can both—eh?"
Hachi fell silent, and Chew glanced up in irritation, trying to find the source of the wailing strings vibrating the water. "What's that vermin bleating out now, chew?"
"Sounds like something about… 'fight the power'?" Kuroobi grunted. "Seriously, what does rowing have to do with—?"
"Less questioning the crazy pirates, more getting back to work," Hachi interrupted.
The pair of them scowled, but swam off without complaining.
Once they were out of earshot, Hachi chuckled to himself with a slightly hysteric grin. "Of course, if what I've heard is accurate, I think that we'll all get a good answer once we rendezvous in the 70s…"
-o-
"And lastly, while Carue, Lassoo and Funkfreed are resting up for the real action back at Shakky's, Zoro, Nami, and I are sticking in one place and coordinating things," I finished - before wincing sheepishly at the GLARE I felt hammer into the side of my head. "…or, well, I'm coordinating, Zoro's looking scary, and Nami is…"
"Contemplating murder, yes."
I winced. Riding on Billy's back as we walked provided a constant reassuring presence for our navigator, and the motion and sunlight all around us emphasized a feeling of freedom. Soundbite was even playing some genuinely relaxing music.
But even with that positive atmosphere on top of Kalifa's mind wipe, the fact that Nami was once again drawing a map off of the information that fishmen provided for her was…
…there really are no words to properly express how much I hated putting her through this situation.
"…I don't know how I'll ever pay you back for this, Nami, but—"
CLUNK!
She set the pen down hard on the lapdesk Franky had whipped up for her before turning her head to face me.
"I am gambling over half of our prize money and reliving eight years of excruciating memories to help make sure your plan works, Cross. Remember how I said I 'owed' you, back on Thriller Bark?" She chopped her hand across her throat. "Yeah, back to zero."
She looked, inhaling and exhaling slowly, before turning back to me a little calmer.
"Just…" she huffed out. "As long as the plan works, it's worth it. It'll make us even richer and far more importantly, it'll cripple the possibility of another eight-year-old girl going through the kind of hell that I did." She looked back down and raised her pen again. Her voice was dark—and more importantly, low enough for Soundbite to know to not broadcast it—as she put in her last word:
"But sticking me with this on top of the two years off? I don't care how much you think you can punish yourself, you do not want to imagine what I will put you through if your plan fails."
I shivered in existential terror, but shoved that to the back of my mind. "Rest assured, I've planned this out more than any other plan I've made on this crew, and we have allies to tackle it from every angle. Even if there are some unexpected outcomes, we will meet our primary win condition. We won't fail." My gaze sharpened into an outright glare. "We can't fail."
Nami let out another deep breath, visibly reassured. Slowly, I took in our surroundings. We were on the outskirts of the Sabaody Park, and while from the outside it looked like we were just sightseeing, Soundbite was in full surveillance mode in an attempt to map out the kidnapping gangs. Big surprise, but to the damn bastards, the park was one big barrel of fish. Literally, in the case of the merfolk children who came to the surface to fantasize about what they'd never had. And even worse, it seemed like parts of the park itself were designed to facilitate making people disappear among the attractions. Not all of it, thank God… but way too much for comfort.
It was a hefty task, but luckily we'd have help soon enough. We'd placed a call to the newly re-christened Rosy Life Riders, and they were on their way now that the blockade was down. But with how much of a time crunch we were in, we had to rely on what scarce information they could convey in passing and nail down the finer points ourselves.
Of course, between Soundbite's powers and Zoro and Nami's experience before they joined Luffy, that was more than enough to go off of. Which meant I had to ask… "So… anything else, Captain?"
"Mmm… no, that's it. Thanks, Cross."
"Thank you," I nodded back. And with that, Soundbite clicked the connection shut with a clear air of relief, one that I shared. "On the one hand, Luffy's seriousness is going to be an asset today. On the other hand…" I shuddered fearfully. "It never really gets any less terrifying to be on the receiving end of it."
"I think I'll skip feeling that particular feeling, thanks…" Nami responded, shuddering as well.
"Don't count on it, witch. He's not going to be happy with any of us when Kuma shows up again, and we're not surprised about it…" Zoro grumbled.
That got another shudder out of Nami, but it passed quickly. Putting away her writing tools, she leaned back and rolled her wrist. "Alright, I've got the outline of the master map done. Let's stop somewhere for a minute, alright? I need to put down some fine details and then it should be complete, or close to it. And on a related note, how far out are the rest of the Supernovas? Specifically, the one we need."
"Meh, not TOO far," Soundbite frowned. "KID, LAW, and BEGE had real MOTOR POWER on their side, they're all docking right now. From what I can glean from their crews' gossip, the others GAVE UP ON THE PRIZE, so they're taking their sweet time. AAAAND PLOTTING BLOODY VENGEANCE IN THE PROCESS… including our allies, TO AN EXTENT. SOUNDS LIKE THEY'RE STILL TICKED WE SCAMMED THEM OUT OF THEIR DOUGH."
"Sorry, not sorry," Nami and I gloated.
"SO YEAH, WE GOT TIME. THERE'S A CAFE WITH WHAT SOUNDS LIKE A DECENT GRILL up the block, we can plant ourselves there and grab a bite to eat while we plan our next move."
"Meh, you two go ahead and sit if you want," Zoro said, folding his arms behind his head as he started to accelerate his pace. "I'll just keep going and go for a quick walk—" OH GOD NO.
"ALSO, THEY HAVE GOOD BOOZE."
"Up the block, you said?" OH THANK GOD.
"Well, that was lucky…" I sighed under my breath.
"Not really," Soundbite shrugged, staying just as quiet. "I just noticed you were about to flip out and decided to shut him up. Lemme guess, he had a date with disaster?"
"Specifically, a World Noble…" I groaned. "So for now, let's just sit down, shut up, and let me try and downgrade my heartrate from 'jackrabbit' to 'normal'."
Mercifully, I got the moment's reprieve that I needed. A good, solid minute of rest. The hustle and bustle of the people and the bubbling and popping of the resin helped to calm me down. Honestly, as long as I could force myself to ignore the despicable undertone of the place, Sabaody Park was rather nice. Pleasant atmosphere, cheer in the air… the perfect place to relax and forget all about your troubles.
"Oi, you!"
Right up until I felt a hand land on my shoulder. And not a hand I was familiar with; something I oughta know given how pretty much everyone on the crew had grabbed my shoulder at one point or another. I looked at the person who grabbed me, and then I sent a flat glare at my other shoulder.
"And what's your excuse this time?" I deadpanned, ignoring the thug behind me for the moment.
"One malignant jackass splitting off from the generally PISSY MASSES," my gastropodal comrade sighed in dismay. "Didn't notice UNTIL HE WAS RIGHT ON TOP OF US."
Shrugging in acceptance of the excuse, I looked back up at the uninvited interloper with all the deadpan sincerity of a no-nonsense butler. "May I help you?" I inquired, though my tone clearly and precisely said 'fuck off'.
"You're that two-bit idiot on the SBS, Jeremiah Cross, right?"
…do I need to give any more context or exposition here? I don't think I do.
I snapped my hand up to stop any intervention from my fellow officers—you can bet they were already a foot out of their seats by then—as I turned in my seat so that I was halfway turned toward the guy. "Yes, that's me," I nodded… kinda politely. "Can I help you?"
"Yeah, you actually can!" the heavy-set guy nodded forcefully, before cooling off slightly and looking a bit apologetic? "Okay, uh, first, sorry about my tone. Just to be clear, I love the show, listen to every broadcast. Really great!"
"Oh, yeah?" I cocked an eyebrow at him. This all sounded good… so why was I getting such a bad feeling?
Then the guy's expression twisted in a way I just did not like. "But for all that your stuff's good, think could you do the world of decent people a favor and stop talkin' about those damn fish freaks on your show?"
My facial expression fell flat as paper. There it was. "Oh, yeah?" I repeated, my tone bone dry.
"Yeah!" the man nodded, still calm and apparently completely oblivious to my change in demeanor. "Look man, I know people whose kids listen to that show, and you can't just go around filling their heads with nonsense about us being 'equal' with those fish freaks! It just ain't true, and it'll screw them up something bad! That's not right!"
My eye twitched slightly, but that was the only muscle I let slip out of my control. But it was a slip that got most all of the passerby around me backing away, and fast. "Care to explain your reasoning?" I posed calmly and condescendingly.
Aaaand now he was looking at me like I was the idiot. The mind boggles. "I mean, have you ever even seen those freaks? They're all slimy and gross and weird! Total monsters, obviously. No clue how anyone could be stupid enough to actually think they're people—"
Okay, yeah, no, I'm heading this off at the pass, and I did that by shutting him up with a raised hand. "Alright, look Idjit—do you mind if I call you Idjit? I'm going to call you Idjit."
"Hey, what are you—?" Idjit started to protest.
"Listen, Idjit," I forged on, slowly rising from my seat and putting my palms together. "I've heard your arguments, your reasoning, and your logic. Now, allow me, as a fellow gentleman, to give you my calm, measured, perfectly rational response."
Acutely aware of everyone watching me, I patiently slid my right gauntlet off…
CRACK!
And cold-clocked the thug square across the jaw with my bandaged fist. Idjit let out a pained gurgle and collapsed like a sack of flour. I was very happy when he did not get back up.
I bit out a sharp tsk as I waved out my fist and gauntlet back on. "Fuck off, asshole," I snarled frigidly. I then turned on my heel and started marching away. "Come on, I want to put some distance between me and that waste of flesh. Before he wakes up and makes me do something drastic."
Nami blinked several times, dumbfounded, before she and Zoro hurried to catch up with me, Billy cowering behind Nami. "That was your calm and 'not drastic' response?" our navigator inquired slowly.
"Believe me," I snarled, flexing my palm and letting a ripple of air blast out of my Impact Dial as I seriously considered doubling back and putting it to use. "If I were pissed, his body would neither be solid nor in one location. Last time I tried talking sense to a couple of stupid bigots who wouldn't hear my words, I snapped. It's an exercise in futility and I am distinctly not in the mood."
"…What happened to the Cross who couldn't stand even killing an otter and a vulture?" Zoro asked.
"Two full-blown wars and a whole lot of ass-whupping later…" I grumbled mutinously. "Plus, with those jag-offs, I was the offended party, so I had the choice of turning the other cheek or not. He was shooting off about people who aren't allowed to say anything in their own defense. Big difference."
After a few more seconds of walking, I felt my body convulse in disgust as we cut through an alley. "Then again, better him than one of the Nobles. I'm not sure how much I'd be able to hold back in front of one of them if they spouted their nonsense."
"Should I even ask?" Nami sighed.
"Fuhohoho! Your unease is an understatement if I've ever heard one, darling! 'Freak' is downright civil compared to their sky-island high egos. Ooh, I'm seeing red just thinkin' 'bout 'em!"
We all started and turned in unison towards the source of the voice. I had to actively stop myself from gaping at the sight of the person in front of us. Tall and lanky, he was wearing a purple disco outfit with the exposed torso and the stilted shoes and everything. Even had a set of opaque glasses to complement the whole getup.
…all of which I probably would have elaborated on had he not sported the biggest fucking afro I have ever seen. Seriously, the thing was rounder and larger than most globes I saw back in Florida, and I'd been to Universal! Weird color too, one side was auburn red, the other alabast—oh fucking hell was that a Poké Ball?!
"Of all the people here, you Straw Hats should know that words like 'freak' and 'monstah' aren't so much an insult as a mark o' pride to folks like us. No, nonono, ta make all the way out here? Out the Grand Lahne? Freakishly strong is exactly what we need ta be," the stranger said, dancing to his own beat—no, wait, Soundbite was actually pumping a beat into the air, which the stranger was grooving to. Moving his arms around, strutting around us like a prideful bird, spinning around in place every so often with the confidence of someone who'd been doing this kinda stuff for years. We could only gape at him like schoolkids watching Saturday Night Fever for the first time.
"After all," he continued, pointing off into the distance as he… moved his hips in a way that I missed because like hell was I looking down. "In order to truly revel in the chaotic rhythms and aromas of the Grand Line, you gotta choose to get down to the beat of strength, to become so freaky it causes a jam all the way from the Blues, y'know?"
He then proceeded to backflip and moonwalk past us. None of us even reacted beyond watching him as he shuffled to our other side.
"But really now," the 70s escapee lamented, cradling his face in his elbow as grandiosely as he had been thus far. "If anything, it's the bile that those 'high and mighty' spit out that we really take offense about."
Okay, there was something wrong with that sentence, but for the life of me I couldn't figure out what.
"Ah… what do you mean, 'we?'" Billy asked, raising a wing.
By way of response, the man grinned… and in doing so, showed that his teeth were triangular and sharp and ooooh.
"Most o' the world 'ccepted we wah sapient bein's ovah two hundred yeahs ago," he drawled in a flamboyantly Southern accent, the sunlight glimmering off his already radiant spikey smile. "But if you heard the tune o' what those Nobles are playing, they've never swung tah the same beat as the rest of us. It's naht even a mattah of seein' the truth and refusin' tah accept it. They are completely incapable of acknowledgin' us sea folks as anythin' more than animals."
…you know, I didn't know it was possible to taste disgust until now. I mentally noted the acrid stench of seething rage and hatred emanating from my friends for the future, while taking a moment to calm myself. Meanwhile, the stranger offered a much friendlier grin, swaggering up to me in a posture eerily similar to Luffy.
"Truth be told, dahlings, I ain't even a full-blooded fishman; half-land, half-sea but all me, baby, y'know what I'm saying? But if you listened to even half of what some of those snot-nosed brats spout off regularly, you'd be wanting to knock them sideways with your elegant steps too! So, to hear you defend us so vigorously, to see you lay that punk out with your elegant moves, it really brings a tear to my eye! Oh!" He shot his finger up in a picture-perfect point. "The courage! Oh!" He swapped his pose so that his other finger was pointing. "The humanity! Oh—!"
"Get to the point before I cut that shrub on your head," Zoro interrupted, undercutting his threat by clicking Wado Ichimonji out of its sheath.
"GWAGH!" Disco-dude staggered away from us, flailing his arms in front of his ridonculous 'do. "I-I-I just wanted a picture with the king cat of cool, man! With Cross, man! N-No need for slice and dice, I'm nice, I'm nice!"
Well, now, if he was offering… I snapped on a wide grin. "It would be my pleasure."
The flamboyant stranger's grin widened as he shot me with a pair of finger pistols. "Alright, groovy, dahlin! Strahke a pose! Oh, heyah." He tossed a shell I near instantly recognized as a Vision Dial to Nami. "Picked up this nifty doodad over in the markets, sweetest thing I ever did find! Just snap a pic and I'll split!"
"Mmm, I don't know…" Nami hemmed and hawed, giving the disco dude an uncertain look. "Something about all this feels… off to me—"
"Did I mention that I always tip my paparazzos most generously?" the dude drawled, flashing a 10K bill between his fingers.
"Cross, if you could move a little bit to your left, please, you're slightly out of the frame," Nami ordered, angling the dial with the intensity of a professional photographer.
I did as the meteorological witch ordered and sidled up to my fan, slinging my arm around his shoulders and donning a nice and massive smile to match his. And to put the finishing touches on it all, we both flashed peace signs to the camera.
"Alright, three, two—!"
"Say 'SOMBRERO-WEARING PINEAPPLE DUCKS!'"
I held my smile even through the twitch of confusion I felt until the flash went off. Then I fixed my partner with a flat glare and an ever flatter utterance of "…what even."
"WAIT, YOU NEVER—!? YOU DON'T REC—!? WELL, long story short, you're missing out," the snail snickered, getting back to bobbing and bopping to the beat he was belting.
"Fuhohoho, I'm inclined to agree with your little buddy," the stranger chuckled. "If I'd've bought that shell that recorded sound, too, I'd keep this song on hand all the time. As is, though… any chance I could get one more favor, Mr. Cross?" Taking the photo from Nami, he held it out to me along with a pencil.
Didn't take a genius to understand the request, and I didn't hesitate to sign out my name.
"Oh, thank you so very kindly. Keep up the anarchy, Mr. Cross, you've got a lot of people calling your name! Bye-bye, now!"
With that, he dashed away with impressive speed, leapt onto a mangrove root, and backflipped off of it, finishing with a swan dive into the water below. Because of course he did. What else had I been expecting?
"Well, that was refreshing," I grinned, folding my arms behind my head as we walked away. "Seeing as the taste of bile and idiocy's been washed out of our mouths, how's about we go about finding a better place to relax while we wait for the rest of the star players?"
No objections were forthcoming, and so we made our way out to a new grove. But en route, a thought occurred to me and I turned my head towards Soundbite with an apologetic frown.
"Only just realized I should have said this earlier, Soundbite, but…" I shook my head, grimacing. "I'm sorry about making you listen to… all of this. The slave trade, the rampant racism… I mean, I expect you'd hear some manner of shit on a normal island, but this place is… concentrated to say the least. Are you alright?"
Soundbite stared at me with a neutral expression for a minute before heaving a tired sigh. "Partner, let me remind you of something: THANKS TO THAT PHONE OF YOURS, I CAN HEAR THE WHOLE INTERNET."
I winced. "Ah," I coughed uncomfortably. "So, hate speeches, war documentaries, the worst parts of the gaming community—"
"BEHEADINGS, SNUFF FILMS, 'Kill Yourself' web pages…" he cut in with an unaffected deadpan before double-taking at my face. No surprise since I was boggling at him with no small amount of horror. "Well, I mean, I usually bury that shit under a mountain of memes, but thanks to this place hitting me on both fronts… ANYWAY, IT'LL BE ROUGH ON ME FOR A WHILE, BUT I'M FINE…" He glanced aside with a tired snort. "NOTHING I HAVEN'T SEEN BEFORE, ANYWAYS…"
"(.づ◡﹏◡)づ." Gif swooped out of where she'd been snoozing in Nami's hood to comfort her audio counterpart, nuzzling her cousin.
"Oi oi, I DID SAY I WAS FINE, DIDN'T I?" he groused, though he didn't do anything but give her a slightly exhausted glance - right up until his eyestalks sharpened into a harsh glare. "HONESTLY, THE PROBLEM ISN'T HEARING THIS STUFF… IT'S THAT FOR THE FIRST TIME, I'M HEARING IT LIVE. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? MUCH AS THIS ALL PISSES ME OFF… I'M ALSO HAPPY ABOUT IT. Because for once, for FUCKING once…"
A determined smile spread over his face, so different from his usual expression. "I can actually do something about it."
-o-
A good half hour later, in something of an eerie echo of Brook and Chopper in canon, we found ourselves relaxing on a bench with a decent supply of food and drinks. We were several groves over from Sabaody Park, in the heart of the tourism district, so as to avoid any undue PTSD. But even with our nerves cooled, it was still a massive relief to all of us when Nami laid down the final version of the map.
"Thank goodness that that's over," she sighed in far too much relief as she all but slammed her quill onto the table. "Alright, the map's as done as I can get it. We can put it to use as soon as I know where to put the X."
"Should be coming right up," Zoro said, then knocked his frothing mug back with a glance my way. "Of course, I did say 'should…'"
I'd rebut that if I could, but sadly, I was too busy vindicating him on my current call.
As is, I spared him a scowl and a quick flip of a certain finger before refocusing on Soundbite, who was silent as he funneled the call he was carrying through my headphones. "So you're saying the answer is still no, no matter how much you offer, really? Ugh, what about if you doubled it, or even quadrupled? We could cover the cost, long enough until—damn it, he really said that?" I pinched the bridge of my nose with a groan. "No no, it's not your fault, I should have seen this coming, I just thought…"
I shook my head and waved my hand dismissively. "No, you know what? It doesn't matter. Look, does he actually have it, he just hasn't—? Perfect, then things are still a go. We've got people on our side who can handle that end of things, so all you have to do is be prepared to mobilize on yours once things go through. And I mean the moment that things go through; we're only going to get one shot at doing things the legal way, understand?"
I waited for the response, and then sighed in relief at the affirmative. "Alright, that's good. So, just to be clear, where will we be—Grove 77, then?" I snapped my fingers and pointed at Nami, prompting her to start scribbling a dozen annotations at once on her map. "No no, that's fine. Perfect even, yeah. Niiiice and poetic. Alright, we'll meet you there, just be ready to bring…" I winced and tapped my headphone's cup. "Yes, yes, I know, beating a dead Sea King, but ex-cuse me for being worried. After all, this is…"
I relaxed with a slight smile and nodded gratefully. "Yeah, good point. I suppose if anyone would understand, it would be you. Okay, I think that's everything then. With any luck, we'll be seeing one another before the day is out. Give her my best wishes, would you? Alright, godspeed. Cross out."
My good mood evaporated as I tsked and cut the connection, leaning back and massaging my suddenly tired-feeling face. "If I have one complaint about this plan," I groused. "It's the sheer amount of politics that I have to delve into if I want to get anything done. I'm only on the fringes here, but it's just as toxic as it was back in my world."
"Oh, you sweet summer child…" Soundbite crooned in as condescending a tone as he could manage. "It's only gotten WORSE SINCE YOU LEFT."
"I wish that was even remotely surprising," I grumbled, pushing myself to my feet and stretching with a relieved groan. "Alright, where are we on Supernova arrivals?"
"TIGER, ROOSTER, and MONKEY are standing by for your go-ahead… aaaand chatting with Goat for CREATIVE IDEAS ON PAYBACK, MIGHT WANNA SEE ABOUT GIVING THEM THAT CONTINGENCY OF YOURS."
"Over my undead corpse, you're on your own, Cross," Nami scoffed as she crossed her arms ever so primly.
"CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR, grinch," the snail cringed. "I THINK I HEARD BARTY MUSING ON whether Law's Room would keep someone alive if indestructible barriers were PRESSING IN ON ALL SIDES…"
Everyone present blanched except Zoro, who I could just tell was now looking at Barty's barriers as his next challenge.
"ER… as for the rest, HEADCOUNT IS… six. HAWKINS is the only one not here yet, but scuttlebutt—I don't say that word enough—says HE'S ON THE HORIZON."
"In that case, I could go for a few more drinks," Zoro said, getting to his feet as well and starting to walk off.
"Sounds good to me, I could use some booze after this," Nami agreed, remounting Billy and petting his neck. "And I imagine my little buddy here would like some refreshments too, wouldn't you, boy?"
"Can we get some of that good Cola stuff Franky likes so much?" the pea-duck squawked eagerly as we all headed down the street. "I hear you can put ice cream in it, and make it taste really good!"
"Soundbite, find this duck his ice cream parlor," I ordered, pointing down the street with overblown grandeur. "Allons-y, en avant!"
"Ouais ouais, je le fais," Soundbite snickered, crossing his eyestalks for a moment before nodding proudly. "ALRIGHT, GOT ONE! AND GOING BY HOW THEY'RE PLAYING OUR BEST HITS ON REPEAT, I think we can even score us a freebie or—NO!"
I jumped as Soundbite suddenly howled in absolute terror, and I could only stare in confusion as he started flailing on my shoulder. "Soundbite? What the hell's gotten into—?"
Soundbite didn't hear me, too busy babbling the same conversation in two places at once. "Nononono, you have to move, YOU HAVE TO RUN! FUCK, NO, THE OTHER WAY, GET OUT OF HIS LINE OF— DODGE—!"
And then, out of absolutely nowhere, everything we'd been doing stopped, and everything that was to come started…
…blam…
With both a bang and a whimper, at the exact same time.
A single, lone gunshot, far off in the distance. So far it was muted to the point of near nonexistence…
But with the impact it had on all of us, Pluton might as well have fired right next to us.
My breathing and pulse quickened as I pieced together what had happened at what felt like both mach speed and a slug's pace. "No…" I choked, ice flooding my veins.
Nami was in much the same state I was, her face near instantly draining of color. "W-Was that—?" she asked softly.
"You know it was," Zoro growled, teeth grinding as he strangled Shusui, looking fit to bare it at a moment's notice. And yet, somehow, he was still the calmest out of all of us, a fact he demonstrated by snorting out a harsh breath. "We'll make them pay, but for now we should—"
And then we heard it.
…blam… blam…
The five of us didn't move for a moment… and then I felt and heard my blood scream, and before I knew what I was doing, I was running at top speeds.
I knew that I couldn't save them. I'd known they were dead at the first shot. I knew that, I knew! But… but…
GRAH!
-o-
"A fine follow-up shot, sir, both of them," complimented an armored knight, he and his company bowing their heads out of both respect and worship.
"Indeed, your greatness. And with that heathen disposed of, shall we resume your schedule?" posed a suited aide, a slate in his hands. "Before you were so rudely interrupted, you were perusing the mortals in the archipelago for worthwhile servants. Then, you said you wished to enjoy your luncheon with Saints Shalria and Charloss at noon in Grove 45, followed soon after by traversing to Grove 1 to—is something the matter, my lord?"
"Silence," Saint Roswald snapped, remaining otherwise motionless and staring at… nothing, with great intensity. But nevertheless, no matter how nonsensical the order and his actions were, the knights and aides silenced themselves one and all, lest they draw their master's ire next.
It would come as a surprise to nobody even remotely familiar with Haki that Saint Roswald had never awakened the ability. But the fact that he, like most of his kind, had a tendency to deliberately block most things from his senses and scorn everything he disapproved of which he could not, meant that the ability would have been lost on him anyway. Likewise, with such immense pride and belief of divinity, he would be more likely to doubt than trust even his own mind's eye when it presented an image of someone attempting to strike him.
As such, it was a mystery whether possessing the ability would be remotely helpful to the World Noble in fending off the uncommon feeling that was suddenly plaguing him: unease. Slowly and deliberately, the Noble turned to look to his left. Nothing out of the ordinary reached his eyes, yet the feeling did not subside. The order to his guards to investigate brushed the inside of his lips… then, he dismissed the notion just as swiftly, looked away and ordered his underlings onward.
His initial notion wasn't unfounded. Even those with unawakened Haki could get the feeling that they were being watched. Indeed, Roswald's familiarity with unease stemmed specifically from the fact that one specific Noble had been watching Roswald quite a bit over the better part of the last decade…and especially the past year.
It was perfectly appropriate, given that while Roswald thought that he was staring at nothing, he was in truth staring at a curtain of distorted air.
A curtain that dispersed the moment that the Noble was out of sight, revealing the livid form of Jeremiah Cross, whose hate-filled eyes Roswald had unknowingly met for those few seconds of uncertainty he'd felt.
The otherworlder's eyes followed Roswald long after the Celestial Dragon had disappeared from sight before turning away. He then approached the corpse and stared down.
Disgust stirred in his mind for the complete waste of potential, the inane waste of life for the crime, the apparently inexcusable crime of—of—!
He hadn't asked. He hadn't asked because he didn't want to know, because it didn't matter.
But…for all that he felt in that moment, for all that his everything was blazing and freezing and thrashing at the same time…
His face was completely blank as he knelt before the cadaver.
Blank, as he removed one of his gauntlets.
Blank, as he slowly and respectfully closed the victim's eyelids.
Blank, as he straightened and marched back the way he came, donning his armor with curt, sharp, and coldly efficient movements.
Blank… even as he calmly droned the hate-filled instructions that heralded the start of the world's revolution.
"Everybody. It's time. Gather everyone together. It starts, and ends, now."
Cross-Brain AN: The stage is set. The curtain rises with the next chapter. Be prepared.
Patient AN: …And on a lighter note, for anyone who doesn't recognize the expy that got a picture with Cross, look up the ensemble dark horse of the Nintendo GameCube Pokémon games, Miror B. And while you're at it, help us convince Nintendo to bring him back in a future game.
And on a related note, our immense gratitude to Thiscord users Cyber Josh, Aspiring Shoulder, and hydratiger83 for his characterization; they did most of the work on that section for us, and so we give them the credit where it is most definitely due.
And on another note, I'm just saying this one to obey the rule of three.
