I'm sorry it took me so long to get this chapter up, I've been trying to log in to put it up since Friday, but I couldn't get to the log in page from my computer. Anyway, I hope you like it. It starts out sad, but the story get's happier.
Chapter 4:
In the following weeks as Rogue's stomach grew bigger as did the number of disdainful stares she attracted from both students and staff alike, she found solace in the smooth edge a razor blade. On the day that Xavier first called her into his office to discuss her pregnancy and its affects on the school and herself, Rogue had found the razor for the second time in her life.
Then when she had run into a very unpleasant Wolverine in the hallway of the school as he declared that he would be leaving for a while, Rogue had once again sought comfort from the thin piece of metal. By the end of the second month of her pregnancy, Rogue had begun to cut herself two or three times a week, so that when she received cold stares from Jean or she saw Scott avoiding her, she could simply make the pain disappear. So long as she kept her razor hidden under her pillow as a secret beacon of hope, a well of strength to draw upon in times of need, so long as she had that relief, Rogue was free from all of the pain and suffering in her life.
On one particular morning as headed down to her check up, now preformed by the doctor named Hank (or Beast) because Rogue had told the professor that she simply didn't feel comfortable around Jean at the moment, Rogue had been so absorbed in all of the glares that she got from the people who were once her friends that she had forgotten to take care to replace her gloves after getting changed into a doctor's gown and before Hank came back in the room. (A.N. Sorry about the really long sentence there) This was not a problem because of her skin, Hank knew about the dangers of her skin, but it did prevent Rogue from having time to cover her multiple cuts and scars.
"Rogue, may I see your arms?" Hank had asked simply after their check up, "I noticed something when I walked in that I just wanted to check on" Instinctively hugging her arms to her chest Rogue said, "Ah…Ah don't think that that would be a good idea, my skin can kill people."
"I know that Rogue" Hank said kindly as he looked into her eyes, eyes that were filled with far too much pain and wisdom for a girl of her age, and told her, "I did not truly ask to see your arms Rogue, it was an order from your doctor. I promise that I know what I am doing." "Al…Alright" Rogue said with shaking hands as she began to undo her gloves. There's really no way around this she thought with a small sigh maybe he just won't notice anything.
After examining her arms for a couple of minutes, Hank sat back into his chair with a rather concerned expression on his face and said, "I'm going to set up an appointment for you to meet with the professor. I think that you two should have a little talk." "Okay" Rogue said anxiously as she began to put her gloves back on, Maybe the talk has nothing to do with all of the cuts on my arms Rogue thought desperately even though she knew that it wasn't true.
"Come in Rogue" the professor said as she reached the outside of his door before she had even knocked. "Good afternoon professor" Rogue said with as much of a smile as she could muster. "Hank told me that he thought we should meet, would you like to tell me what you think it is about?" Xavier asked Rogue with a small and gentle smile, "Ah think that you already know what this meeting is about" Rogue said as she looked down at her feet.
"Yes Rogue, that is true. Hank did mention your 'problem' to me, but what I want to know is why you would do something like this." Rogue considered making up some random lie for a moment, but then she thought better of it, after all this was the professor. After a moment of silence, Rogue took a seat in one of the chairs opposite of Xavier's desk and said, "It's complicated professor," Rogue began with a sigh, "Does it have anything to do with the fight between you and Ms. Gray?" the professor asked mildly.
"Yes," Rogue said as she looked down at her hands, "Ah guess that may be what pushed me to do it, but it's not what it seems like." "Oh no?" Xavier said with a slight chuckle, "Then tell me Rogue what is it?" Rogue knew that he was only trying to help her, but in his words she heard the same words that she had heard Logan and Jean use. Words of betrayal and distrust.
"Ah…Ah was just trying to deal with all of the pain in my life, alright?" As Rogue said this, she could feel herself getting more and more angry, "Whenever Ah cut myself, all of the pain goes away and Ah remember what it was like to be able to touch something without destroying it, because metal doesn't die." Rogue noticed as the professor slipped into his role of physco-analyzer, but she didn't care, all that she felt was the stored up anger building inside of her.
"Alright Rogue," Xavier said as he looked calmly at her, "Can you tell me some of the things that made you feel it was necessary to do this to yourself?" A part of Rogue knew that she should probably just create some new lie to tell him, but for some reason she no longer felt like doing so, she was tired of lies and deceit, all that they did was hurt her.
"Well," Rogue began as she looked into the professor's eyes, "There was all of the stuff that happened at the testing facility, and then there was Scott's not wanting to be friends, and then this pregnancy, and then Logan hating me, and then Jean hating me,"
As Rogue continued, she felt her anger increasing with each new detail that she revealed, she turned to stare out the window and continued her rant with an increasing volume, "And then Jean tried to kill me, and then Logan left, and on top off all of it Scott doesn't remember a single thing!"
As she practically yelled the last sentence, red beams flew out of her eyes and through Xavier's window. Rogue quickly shut her eyes and brought her hands up to the sides of her head. She had never imagined that she would still be able to use Scott's power months after their contact, it had never happened with any of the others, but then again with the others she had never been this mad.
"Rogue" the professor began slowly as he tried to keep the fear out of his voice, "Was that Scott's power?" "Yes" she whispered as she looked into his eyes, then looking down she added, "Ah absorbed him while we were at the lab," catching the anger that crossed his face Rogue quickly added, "But it's not what you think, it was an accident!"
Looking into her face Xavier said something that Rogue had not expected to hear, "I believe that it wasn't your fault Rogue, but I really need to find out why that just happened." Feeling like someone cared about her for the first time in a very long time, Rogue nodded for the professor to continue, "I know that you may not be ready to tell me yourself, but is it okay with you if I look inside your mind?"
A flash of fear raced across Rogue's mind, someone else was going to know what had happened to her, but Rogue quickly replaced that fear with respect and hope. Rogue had always respected the professor, but hope was something that she had forgotten about in the past months. Maybe, just maybe, if she let the professor do this everything would find a way to right itself.
Feeling the openness that Rogue was projecting, Xavier said, "Would that be alright by you Rogue?" Taking a deep breath she finally answered, "Okay, but promise me one thing." "Yes Rogue?"
"Promise that if Ah show you this you will help me figure out what Ah should do, Ah…Ah don't want to keep living like this, with the stares and side ways glances, Ah want to really live again. You know, sometimes Ah think it's funny, when Ah look back, Ah was happier for most of the time that Ah spent at the facility than Ah have been here for the past few months." Xavier was shocked by this statement, but quickly regained his composure and said, "Of course I will do that for you Rogue."
"Alright professor" Rogue said as he rolled his wheelchair around to meet her, "Just try to relax your mind" he said in a soothing voice, "This won't hurt at all." With that Xavier placed his hands on either side of the young girls' head and opened his mind to the images that began to come to him.
He saw Rogue and Scott get kidnapped from the mansion. Then he saw them agree to be tested on so long as they could be released immediately afterward. He saw Rogue burst out at her weariness of being tested. He saw Rogue ask Scott to call he Marie. He saw she and Scott become close friends and confidantes.
Then he saw something that broke his heart, he saw as Scott was forced to take Rogue and as she absorbed him. He saw the pain in her eyes as she prayed that he wouldn't die because of her. He saw the pain that she felt even more when she discovered that he remembered nothing. He saw her conversation with Storm and its effects. He saw her realization that she was pregnant, her argument with Logan, and then her argument and fight with Jean. Finally he saw all of the different stares and hateful looks that she received from students who thought she was trash for becoming pregnant.
Xavier saw all of this in the time frame of about thirty seconds, and when he moved his hands away, he was shocked to discover tears in his eyes, this girl had been through more anyone should ever have to, and she was only sixteen. "Oh Rogue," he said as he put his hand on her shoulder, not understanding how he had managed to miss something so huge in this young girls' life.
"Why didn't you ever tell us? If they'd known the truth, Logan and Jean would never have reacted the way that they did" "Ah know" Rogue said as she hung her head, "But Ah just couldn't hurt Scott, if only to honor the memory of the friendship that we once had." Looking into her eyes the professor said, "You have to tell him Rogue, if only to truly honor the memory of the friendship that you two once had."
The next evening, Rogue stood in the library waiting for Scott to come in and make his lesson plans as he did everyday. When he walked into the library, Rogue froze for a moment with the knowledge of what she was about to do, and then got up her courage. Walking over and gently touching him on the shoulder, Rogue said, "Uh Scott, can Ah talk to you for a moment?"
As Scott jumped slightly at her touch Rogue flinched. Scott quickly got over his nerves and said uncertainly, "Uh sure we can talk Rogue, what did you want to talk about?" "Why don't you sit down?" Rogue said to him as the voices in her head kicked in once again.
He's never going to believe you Magneto said in a nonchalant voice.
Yeah Pyro added snidely, he will probably just say that you're lying and then go tell Jean the whole story so that they can make fun of you together.
You should try and be enough of a leader to suck up your secret and keep it from hurting him Scott's voice said in a teacher type of way.
I never trusted one-eye Logan's voice said gruffly, you shouldn't trust him either, he will only make things worse and tell you that you're lying.
"Shut up!" Rogue shouted as she hunched over and covered her ears. "What!" Scott said incredibly bewildered by the fact that Rogue had told him that she wanted to talk to him and then yelled at him to shut up when he hadn't said anything.
Seeing the look of shock on Scott's face, Rogue quickly went on, "No, no not you. It's just the voices were going on in my head and Logan was telling me not to trust you, and Pyro was being mean, and then you were telling me…" "What do you mean I was telling you? Why on earth would I be inside of your head?"
Blushing, Rogue hung her head a little as she said, "Well one of those many things that you don't remember about our time at the testing plant is that Ah kind of absorbed you." "You did what!" Scott yelled as he began to get truly angry.
"Ah didn't mean to" Rogue pleaded as she grabbed his arm, "It was an accident, they forced me to…" "That doesn't matter!" Scott yelled as he yanked his arm out of her grasp, "You shouldn't have let anyone force you to take life from another mutant! Ever! No matter what!"
He was really shocked and scared by the fact that the young girl before him had some part of his mind, his thoughts, and his memories, inside of her. He was so shaken up, that Scott didn't even notice the impact that he was having on Rogue, he didn't understand how much he was hurting her.
After a moment of fuming, Scott looked back at Rogue with a dangerous look of realization in his eyes as he whispered, "Is that the reason that I came how in a coma? The reason that I don't remember anything?" "Ah don't know" Rogue said truthfully as she tried to wrap her arms around her stomach in a nervous habit before remembering that she was growing too large to do so.
"So this is your fault?" Scott said as he tried to comprehend what he had just found out, "It's your fault that I can't remember what happened to me for six months of my life!"
"Scott!" the professor's voice boomed inside both of their heads, "Stop making a scene in front of the school about something that you know nothing about, and come and meet me in my office right now!" As the intensity in the professor's voice jolted Scott out of his anger long enough to realize that a crowd had begun to form around them, Scott stood up straight and then started to leave the room.
"Oh, and bring Rogue with you" the professor added as he reached the door. Turning back to glare daggers at Rogue, Scott continued to walk on, as Rogue followed due to the professor's request.
Upon reaching the professor's office, Xavier called, "Come in Scott and have a seat, you too Rogue." "You wanted to see us professor?" Scott said innocently as he took the chair that the professor had mentally offered to him. "Yes, as a matter of fact I did. First of all, I wanted to stop you from berating poor Rogue here who hardly deserves your harsh words. And secondly, I wanted to tell you both that after the meeting I had with Rogue earlier this morning, I believe that I know how to fix your memories."
"Really?" Rogue and Scott said at the same time, "Yes" the professor said with a little chuckle. "You see Rogue due to the um…circumstances under which you absorbed Scott, you were forced to touch him longer than you have touched anyone before, except for Logan who as you know has super healing powers." As he said this, Rogue sat nodding her head sadly, and Scott found himself thoroughly confused.
"Because you held on to Scott so long, you absorbed not just a copy of his memories, but the original memories themselves. This could also possibly explain why you still retain some of his power," "What!" Scott interjected in a worried voice, "Are you saying that she has both my memories and my powers?"
"I will explain more later Scott, but yes that is exactly what I'm saying. She has retained some of your powers along with your memories, although the powers could be for a different reason." As he said this, Rogue noticed that the professor was looking down at her stomach and realized what he meant.
Moving on as quickly as he had brought the subject up, the professor continued, "If what I believe is correct, ad you do posses Scott's memories, all that he would need to do to get them back, would be to allow me to transfer them psychically." "Alright," Scott said eagerly, "I agree. I want my memories back so that I can move on and get married without anything to hold me back." "Well then," Xavier said as he looked at the determined Scott, "If you agree why don't I begin the process."
"Wait!" Rogue said suddenly before the professor began, "Scott are you sure that you want these memories back?" "What do you mean?" Scott asked untrustingly, "Why would you want to stop me from getting my memories? Are you trying to say that you don't want me to move on? That you don't want me to marry Jean?"
Feeling a sharp sting from his words, Rogue said, "No! That's not what Ah mean at all. Ah simply meant that you might not like what you see." "All the more reason that I need to se it then!" Scott snapped rudely. Then, without giving her anymore chance to protest, Scott turned to the professor and said, "Alright, let's do this."
The professor nodded slightly as he then closed his eyes and began to pull the memories from the back of Rogue's brain and place them back into Scott's. Rogue felt nothing but a cool tingling sensation at the back of head. Scott sat in his chair staring blankly out the window, until he suddenly grabbed his head in his hand and began to scream. When the professor had finished and Scott's scream finally died away, he stayed stationary in his chair for a moment before opening his eyes and looking around.
"Where are we Marie?" Scott asked drowsy voice, "When did we get out of the lab…" Then Scott's eyes widened in realization as his newer, more recent memories once again surfaced. "Oh Marie!" He said as he got out of his chair and went to kneel in front of her chair, "I'm so sorry, I treated you so poorly. I avoided you and I allowed Jean to make fun of you, and…"
"It's okay" Rogue said with a small smile as she place her hand on the side of his face, "You're back now and that's what matters."
As Scott saw the tears of happiness and pent up sorrow fall down her cheeks, he said, "You knew. This whole time you knew that I was being unjust to you. Why didn't you just tell me?"
"Because," Rogue said as she sniffled and dried her tears, "Ah didn't want you to have to hurt the same way that Ah was hurting, and Ah thought that you might not believe me." "I promise I will never doubt you again" Scott said with a smile as he placed his hand into hers, and she smiled a real smile for the first time in months.
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The next chapter should be up pretty soon, as always Please Reiew! I love to hear what people think of my story.
