This is a story written at the Zelda Story Challenges forum. It was posted by EJ Amber. The challenge was:

Characters:

Ruto

Dark Link

Setting:

Water Temple

Objects:

Zora's Sapphire

Water Medallion

Restoree by Anne McCaffrey (have never read it)

This fic is not at all serious. It may just be the stupidest thing I've ever written. I usually don't do humor.

Plink. Plink. Plink.

With every drip of water, Dark Link's eye twitched.

"Infuriating noise!" he murmured to no one in particular. "It's enough to drive anyone up the wall."

Dark stretched out on the sandy island on which he lived, book in hand. It was all that Ganondorf allowed him; a (very) small beach and a book, Restoree by Anne McCaffrey.

"Small comforts. Oh, well. At least it can't get any worse. . ."

How very wrong he was. For at that moment, he heard something so terrifying, to bone-chilling, and so annoying that all he wanted to do was find a safe place to hide. A high-pitched voice echoed off the walls.

"OHH DARKY-POO! ARE YOU HERE?"

Dark groaned. It was Ruto, whom he dubbed Princess Sushi. After picking up the Zora's Sapphire last month, she seemed to think they were engaged. Her constant attempts to kiss him were thankfully interrupted by Dark 'accidentally' tripping Ruto and other methods. His relatively high morals were the only thing standing between her and a gory, painful death.

"Hello Dark! How are you today?"

Dark didn't bother to force a smile today. He had decided that it wasn't worth the effort.

"Miserable. Between you and the water dripping, I'm almost begging Link to come and kill me."

Ruto's eye's watered. Dark Link watched as a single tear dripped down her cheek.

'Oh dear, I'm in for it now,' thought Dark.

"YOU'RE SO MEAN TO ME! HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH THINGS TO YOUR FUTURE WIFE! I THOUGHT YOU CARED FOR ME!"

Dark, not knowing what else to do, gently hugged Ruto, mentally cringing as he did so.

'Stupid morals. Always getting in the way.'

Ruto's bawling slowly subsided in Dark's embrace. She smiled at him, though he couldn't see it.

"Thanks Darky-Poo! You make me feel a whole lot better!"

'Meanwhile, you make me feel like crap.' Dark thought, but wisely kept his mouth shut.

Ruto let go of Dark, not noticing his sigh of relief.

"Here you go Dark. I brought you a present. It's even more special than Zora's Sapphire! Close your eyes!"

Dark hesitated for a moment, and then closed them.

'Please let it not be another fish, please, please, please!' But instead, something small and round dropped into his waiting hands. He opened his eyes to find the Water Medallion sitting gently in his palm.

"There! Something special for my special someone!"

Before Dark could react, Ruto leaned over and kissed him gently on the lips. With a giggle, she ran off through the door into the temple. Dark Link put a hand to his lips.

'Did. . . did Ruto just kiss me?' he thought. His face turned a bright shade of pink. Before he could stop his train of thought, he murmured, "It wasn't that bad, actually. . ."

Eyes widening, he quickly stood up and proceeded to bang his head against the tree on his island.

"I. Will. Not. Fall. In. Love. With. Princess. Sushi," said Dark, punctuating each word with a bang against the tree.

There. That was totally stupid. But, it was a challenge. It was fun to write a Dark LinkxRuto fic, though. I don't think it's been done on before.