Disclaimer: See chapter 1.
A/N: You know, when I really think about it, I think Jack (in modern day) would listen to Red Hot Chili Peppers… Just a thought…
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Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Bag
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Chapter 2: Of Nautical Terms and Talking Bags
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We furtively ran to the harbor, me hitching up the sheet and getting a roguish wink from Jack.
"We're going to steal that ship?" Will asked, once we were safe, and I do mean that hardly, beneath the docks. He followed Jack's gaze, "That ship?" I looked in 'that' general direction only to see the Dauntless, proud and a bit pompous as she floated idly in the bay.
"Commandeer." Jack stated, "We're going to commandeer that ship. Nautical term." He turned, facing Will. "One question about your business, boy, or there's no use going. This girl, how far are you willing to go to save her?"
"I'd die for her," Will snapped with steely determination. I rolled my eyes, seemingly my new past time. Heroics.
"Oh good. No worries then." Jack raised both eyebrows a little. "And you, what are you doing here?" Jack asked the question but they both turned to me. I shrugged,
"I'm here for the ride."
"We can't bring her along!" Will exclaimed, facing Jack, "We're out to save Elizabeth!"
"So?" I raised an eyebrow. "Don't think I'm capable? Think I can't fend for myself? That I'm some kinda idiot? A damsel in distress?" I sneered and I noticed with satisfaction that my not-so-ladylike onslaught made Will look down and flush a bit, "At least I didn't get kidnapped." I believe I forgot to mention that I see Elizabeth with a high volume of disdain. Will's eyes flashed,
"She was kidnapped by pirates and don't tell me you could have done better!"
"I can." I responded coolly and despite our height difference, I could tell that he felt like I was looking down on him.
"Come now children. Can't have ye bickering. Dear William has a bonnie lass to save."
"Well, you ain't leaving me here or so help me I'll castrate the two of you." My eyes narrowed down to slits and Jack just kept grinning.
"So you want to be the last to see 'em, eh?" I punched him in the arm not too nicely.
"Oh, bugger." And he rubbed the sore spot. "But don't worry your pretty little head lass, ye didn't hurt ol'Jack too much," Ignoring him, I say,
"Let's go then shall we?"
In a few minutes, we were in the water, beneath a boat. Jack was in front and Will was behind me. I cursed the fact that the sheet was white, but better Will then Jack I supposed. The two of them were doing the actually walking and holding. I just held on and floated behind Jack, which wasn't so bad really. The bag rested on the bottom, but now the top side, of a seat.
"This is either madness or brilliance." Will declared from behind me.
"It's remarkable how often those two traits coincide." Jack drawled. I snorted. There came a muted crack and Will and I simultaneously looked down.
"Dork," I muttered. His foot had been caught in the lobster track. As we mulled onward, I began to wonder as to why they had taken this so easily. I was in a sheet for God's sakes! Maybe Jack brought me along for sex and Will didn't have the balls to say otherwise. Maybe he was a eunuch… When we arrived at the hull of the Dauntless, I stared at Jack.
"I can't climb up there."
"And why not pet?" I could hear the glee in his voice,
"I'm in a fucking sheet you douche bag." He chortled and I was about ready to strangle him.
"Well then, William, be a dear and carry Miss, ah, what's your name pet?" He had begun to make his way up the back of the ship.
"Ashlyn. Ashlyn Woods." I held on to Will as he too, climbed up. My face next to his, I could literally feel his red hot blush. "Embarrassed?" I teased. He didn't answer. I squeezed a little, taking enjoyment in watching him squirm under the presence of the, how did Jack say it? Ah yes, said strumpet. No pun intended.
He dropped me when we reached the deck and I glared up at him. He sighed and with a small apologetic smile, helped me to my feet.
"Everyone stay calm," Jack drawled, "We are taking over the ship."
"Aye, avast!" Will shouted beside Jack, his sword drawn. I groaned and buried my face in my hand, the other, holding the handle of the bag. How humiliating. The small crew laughed.
"This ship cannot be crewed by two men and a woman," A man I recognized as Gillette sneered. "You'll never make it out of the bay," I gave him my middle finger.
"Son," Jack cocked his pistol at Gillette's nose, "I'm Captain Jack Sparrow."
"Dude," I poked Jack in the back, "I need some clothes."
"Ah, then some clothes for Miss Woods," he gestured at one man.
"Ashlyn's fine, thank you,"
"Well, Ashlyn, pet, love, darling, here are ye clothes." And the man tossed me his pants and shirt. I raised an eyebrow as the other men laugh.
"Worth seeing a lassie in a sheet." He winked at me and I bared my teeth. I headed down to the Captain's Quarters to change. Setting the bag down on the bed, I let the sheet glide to the ground and shivered. I was still wet and the cool air brushed my skin like a reminiscent lover. Pulling on the pants, I sat on the bed, reaching for the shirt.
"Well it's good to see we're alone. Now I can explain." I froze. It was the same voice that I had heard in my car back in reality. "It's okay, don't panic Ashlyn."
"Where the hell are you?" My voice was hoarse.
"Sitting right next to you." My eyes slowly slid down to the bag and my panic disappeared.
"Excuse me?" There was a sigh.
"I'm the bag. A talking bag."
"Yeah, kinda figured out that last part." I snorted. I yanked the shirt down over my head. "So what the hell is this all about?"
"Ever seen Mary Poppins?" the question seemed off handed.
"Yeah," my eyes narrowed.
"Well, I'm exactly like that bag she has except I can give you practically anything you ask for." I raised and eyebrow,
"Really now?"
"Yes, really."
"Can I have a sports bra and some underwear por favor?" The bag opened and I reached in to pull out a black sports bra and some panties.
"Cool." And I began undressing. I sighed, pulling the panties on. It felt good to finally get that cotton on. It felt a little awkward prancing around in just a sheet and my birthday suit. "Do you have a name?" I swear to God that bag shrugged,
"Poppins I guess." I slipped on the pants. Before I could answer, Will came clambering down the steps.
"WILLIAM TURNER!" I shrieked, chucking the Poppins bag at him. It hit him square on the nose and seemed to bounce back on the bed. I was in pants and that was it. One hand flew up to cover my breasts, a rather hard feat mind you, the other, searching for something else to throw at him.
"That hurt you know," Poppins grumbled. Will spun around.
"Who's there?" he asked suspiciously. I turned my back to him, pulling on the sports bra and then the shirt.
"It's a talking bag Will, get over it." He looked at me like I was mad. I am not! Well, maybe just a little…
"Impossible."
"Not probable." I quipped. He shook his head in amazement.
"Deal with it." Came Poppins' haughty remark. I rolled my eyes.
"Why are you down here? No, actually, why did you barge in on me while I was naked?"
"Sparrow," he averted my eyes. "He wanted to see you."
"Fine, fine, fine," I huffed, grabbing Poppins and making my way up the stairs behind Will. "Can't you change into a backpack or something?"
"Well aren't we picky," Poppins said dryly. I rolled my eyes. With a small pop, Poppins transformed into a black, sack like back pack made of the same, stiff leathery material. I slung him… her… it, over my shoulders when Jack suddenly yanked me towards him. I gave a little squeak.
"Ye should've kept the sheet." And I smacked him before we sailed over to the Interceptor like Tarzan and Jane… Except Jack wasn't a jungle man and I wasn't a ninny. I pushed planks over the edge as Will used his hatchet to severe the ropes that would have allowed the Navy to swing back over. We heard Norrington shout a few orders and I laughed as a few men tried, and failed, to get back to the Interceptor.
"Thank you Commodore, for getting us ready to make way!" Jack crowed, "We'd have had a hard time of it by ourselves." And he went back to steering. I joined him and sat against the rail, Poppins at my side, explaining the bag to Jack. He took it rather well, actually, which surprised me for the most part. But then again, I shouldn't have been surprised. He's unpredictable anyway.
"Better then an animal," He shrugged and, once again, I rolled my eyes. "Be a dear and steer will you? I have to make sure dear William didn't do anything stupid." I nodded and stood, taking the wheel as he sauntered about. Will began talking, sharpening his sword like a good little black smith and then I heard the familiar part of the script,
"When I was a lad living in England, my mother raised me by herself. After she died, I came out here, looking for my father."
"Is that so?" Jack said absentmindedly as he checked the rigging.
"My father, Will Turner." Will stood to face Jack, "At the jail, it was only after you learned my name that you agreed to help." He followed Jack up the stair case towards me. Jack brushed past me to adjust a knot. "Since that's what I wanted, I didn't press the matter. I'm not a simpleton, Jack." I snorted. If he wasn't a simpleton, then why were we out rescuing Elizabeth? He ignored me, "You knew my father." I was ready to hear Jack say in a deep, mechanical voice, "No, William, I AM your father!" The thought sent me in a titter. Jack sighed and turned to face him.
"I knew 'im. Probably one the few who knew him as William Turner. Everyone else just called him Bootstrap or Bootstrap Bill." And he turned away. My brow furrowed slight. There was a sad, almost regretful tone in Jack's voice, but I didn't think Will heard it.
"Bootstrap?" I smiled. He sounded like a little boy realizing that Obi Won Kenobi was a true Jedi Master.
"Good man. Good pirate. I swear you look just like him." Jack took the wheel and I winced, stepping to the side. Wrong thing to say Jack.
"It's not true. He was a merchant sailor. A good, respectable man who obeyed the law." I couldn't help but feel a little bad as I literally saw Will's perfect image of his father shatter around him.
"He was a bloody pirate, a scallywag." Jack turned, a bit exasperated, and the concentrated on the horizon. I didn't say anything, thinking it was better to stay silent.
"My father was not a pirate." Will's sword was drawn and I understood the anger that came with denial.
"Put it away, son. It's not worth you getting beat again." Jack didn't look at him and I felt a bit annoyed that Jack wouldn't even look him in the eye and tell him that.
"You didn't beat me. You ignored the rules of engagement. In a fair fight, I'd killed you." I felt a smirk form from Will's boyish defiance and soreness from losing.
"Then that's not much incentive for me to fight fair, then, is it?" He spun the wheel and the yard caught Will in the gut and swung him out over the sea. "Now, as long as you're just hanging there, pay attention."
"Jack!" I finally protested as he picked up Will's sword and looked him down the blade.
"The only rules that really matter are these: What a man can do and what a man can't do. For instance," Jack placed a hand over mine on the wheel. "You can accept that your father was a pirate and a good man or you can't. But pirate is in your blood, boy, so you'll have to square with that someday." I jerked my hand away, but he ignored me.
"Jack, don't be an ass,"
"Now, me, for example," he continued to disregard me and I let out a frustrated sigh, "I can let you drown but I can't bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesy, savvy? So," He spun the wheel in the opposite direction and handed Will his sword, "Can you sail under the command of a pirate?" And then he looked at me "Or can you not?"
"Tortuga?" That seemed to be the right answer.
"Tortuga." Jack affirmed with a nod. "Now as for you love." He pressed me against the wheel, one hand steering, the other at my waist. I could feel a knob sticking into my back and it began to hurt like a bitch. "Where do your loyalties lie?" I wrinkled my nose.
"Certainly not in your bed." He laughed,
"Good answer, pet, good answer. Makes you funner to chase," He winked.
"It's 'more fun'," I pushed him away, "Not 'funner'."
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I sat up in the crow's nest with Poppins, looking down as Will busied himself among the ship. It would take three days to get to Tortuga and with that incredibly opportune span of time; I knew what was going to happen. Story time. Or I could just call it 'Time-when-Ashlyn-explains-that-she's-from-the-future-and-in-the-future-this-is-just-a-Disney-movie', but that wouldn't be any fun now would it? I dangled my legs over the edge. Maybe I should just ask Jack to tell Will. Or maybe Will wouldn't ask. I hope it would be option two…
I sighed.
"What's up?" Poppins asked, sounding as concerned as a bag could.
"The sky," I replied dryly. Poppins snorted,
"No, really." I waited for a moment, watching as Jack waved his hands about while shouting something at Will.
"Nothing I guess." Poppins didn't say anything, only staying silent for me to continue. "I don't know," I propped my chin up on my palm. "I know the story, I know what's supposed to happen, but I don't know how I'm supposed to fit in with all of this." The bag seemed to shrug.
"Well, you're certainly pretty, maybe you'll be snagging one of the boys." I raised an eyebrow.
"Do you have eyes? Can you actually see me?"
"Yes I can see you," Poppins snapped, "And I'm a bag so let's ignore that I have two of your five senses and get on with it."
"Alright," I pulled my hands up in a sign of surrender. "You can see and you can hear, but you're still a bag. I get it." I cast my gaze out upon the sea. "And I'm not pretty." I finished rather lamely."
"Oh?" If Poppins had eyebrows, I'm certain it would've raised one, "And why not?"
"I'm too tall to be full Korean, too short to be full white," I felt a blush crawl up my skin, "My breasts and hips are too big to be small and petite but too small to be voluptuous and appealing, I thick at the waist and my face is as round as the moon," I felt my heart thumping hard against my rib cage. I really hated talking about the way I looked. I've had a couple boyfriends, but still. I wasn't what they really wanted. "I'm not as tan as they want me to be, I'm too pale, too cold, I beat the men in my martial arts lessons," This was so incredibly pathetic. I probably sounded like a Mary Sue, throwing out why society hates me, sounding eager for a compliment, like a dog begging for a bone. But I have never said all of this. At least, not in a very long time and it felt both good and sickening to finally say it. "I'm not what society wants in my world." I was sounding weaker by the second.
"Ye know what I thought you looked like when I first saw you?" I jumped at the sound of Jack's voice. I knew my face was redder then Hilda's lipstick as he leaned next to me. I looked at my feet as he gazed out to the horizon. "In yer sheet and all?" I didn't answer and Jack didn't seem to mind.
"What?" Poppins prompted. Oh, way to go, that stupid bag. Poppins sure knew how to kill a moment, but I supposed it was for the better, seeing that I was getting a tad uncomfortable after Jack had probably heard my little whine session.
"The sea." I looked up rather quickly to see he was watching me with a great sort level on intensity. "With yer hair all wild and black like the sea in her rage and your eyes cold and dark." He reached out to touch my face, "Yer skin like the white foam of the water." His voice trailed off and I jerked back, afraid that if he touched me, I'd shatter to a thousand little bits, leaving Will to clean up the mess. He grinned, "But that's what I would've said, if I were a scholarly man," I scowled and socked him in the arm. He raised an eyebrow. "That didn't hurt love." Glowering profusely, I snatched Poppins and made my way down the crow's nest. While I was half way down, I heard a muffled curse.
"Bugger, that hurt." And I snickered the rest of the way down.
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Ah… Not as many reviews as I had hoped for, but ah well. Patience is a virtue.
