Summary: The Doctor bumps into Jack and finally has to deal with what happened to Rose. Short one shot set post Doomsday

Spoilers: Doomsday

Disclaimer: Currently not owning the BBC or Doctor Who

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We Are the Waiting

It had been a month. The Doctor had spent three months looking for her, two minutes saying goodbye and a month trying to live without her. In total ithad been four month since he had lost Rose and in the process he had burned up an entire sun, broken his heart and gone numb from all the pain. He'd seen many things in his 900 year life but nothing even came near to the terribleness of watching Roses' fingers slip as she hurtled towards the void releasing what could only be described as a death scream. What was even worse was the moment that came after – reaching for her hand to find she wasn't there, dreaming of her and awakening soak in his own tears, and finding her abandoned clothes strewn around the Tardis. However terrible all these moments were nothing could prepare him for this moment – the moment where it all had to become reality, the moment he bumped into Jack Harkness and was faced with the one question that held the power to make him break down

'Where's Rose?' The moment Jack said it the Doctor froze; his face crumpled. He swallowed heavily hoping if he pretended for long enough that the question didn't exist then it actually wouldn't. Sadly that couldn't happen but it caused Jack to frown at the Doctors' vacant stare.

'Doctor?' he asked, his heavy accent transforming the word. The Doctor couldn't move, he couldn't breath, and he couldn't think. Jack put his hand on his old friends' shoulder, the Doctor started at his touch

'Are you okay?' Jack asked worriedly. The Doctor nodded

'Yeah, I'm… I'm fine' he told Jack unconvincingly. Jack watched the Doctors erratic behaviour and studied his forced smile

'Not you're not' he deduced as he pulled the Doctor over to the bench. They sat beside a lake, the sun sparkled and danced off the rippling surface – it was a beautiful day but the Doctor could only see darkness. Jack knew the Doctor wouldn't act like this unless something was terribly wrong – Jack put two and two together

'What's happened to Rose?' he asked softly, the faint verge of panic begin heard on his words. The Doctor stared blankly ahead

'She's…' he began 'She's gone' he told Jack dully, sounding totally emotionless. Jack swallowed heavily

'What do you mean gone? Gone where? Gone home?' his questioned as his brow wrinkled worriedly

'She's gone' the Doctor whispered, the sounds of his heartbreak being heard on his words. Jack put his hand on the Doctors' shoulder

'Doctor, I need you to tell me what happened'. The Doctor continued to stare ahead, his voice hollow and empty

'She was holding on – so tightly, but she let go - to save us, to save us all. Her fingers slipped – I reached for her but she fell…straight into the void' Jack froze, his eyes beginning to water as he realised why the Doctor was a broken man

'She fell into the void?' Jack asked in disbelief

'Is she…' he tried to ask, his voice cracking. He cleared his throat

'Is she dead?' he asked softly unable to believe it. The Doctor continued to stare ahead

'She fell' he said so softly Jack could barely hear him 'Into a parallel world. Now she's trapped there – she's there and I'm here' he whispered haunted. Jack looked up and saw the tears that stained the Doctors' cheeks

'Can't we get her back?' Jack pleaded as he felt his heart break. The Doctor solemnly shook his head

'No' he murmured sounding entirely defeated. Jack ran his fingers through his hair

'Oh God' he muttered. He closed his eyes and saw memories of Rose smiling, laughing , dancing so alive and always close. Jack couldn't believe that he would never see her again. They both sat on the bench, Jack with his head in his hands silent tears marking the floor, the Doctor staring vacantly ahead trying to forget Roses' scream. The two men sat there together in silence, no words were needed; they were both being rocked by the same emotions.

'Can you feel it?' the Doctor whispered, Jack looked up and shook his head

'No' he mumbled

'Exactly' the Doctor murmured. They both knew what it felt like to be truly dead inside.


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