Since you've been gone, I'm not the same,
It's hard to say (God, it's hard to say),
Since you've been gone,
I'm not the same.
- It's Hard to Say, The Used
Computers beeped in the background, steady, and whispers were heard in the background, as the world came into focus for Raven.
"--she seems to be fine, all her stats normal, except she's absolutely starved," Cyborg said, his voice filling the room.
"Food sounds nice," she smiled, lifting herself to sit up on the soft bed. Beast Boy ran out of the room as fast as he could, to fetch some food for the hungry teammate.
"Friend Beast Boy has been very worried about you, Raven," Starfire said, her face bright with happiness that her friend had returned safely, unharmed.
"I hope you don't think we gave up on you, Raven," Robin said, walking up next to Star, who was already standing next to the bed, "you and Slade seemed to have disappeared. Can you tell us where you two were?"
"My eyes were covered. I could not see a thing, Robin," she said, which was the truth. She knew she was in a home, but where she had no idea. Robin cursed under his breath, hoping she had a better answer for him. Beast Boy came in with eight buttered pieces of toast and a huge glass of milk all on a tray.
"Sorry it took so long," he said apologizing putting the tray on her lap. Raven picked up a piece of toast and nibbled at it, not having any interest in the food although she was starving. "Why aren't you eating?" Beast Boy questioned.
"Thank you, but I am not hungry, I just need time to think," Raven said, placing the piece of toast back on the plate.
"Think? What did Slade do to you?" Beast Boy questioned, his temper rising.
"Nothing, he did nothing."
"Then why are you acting like he did?" Robin asked, interested in why she asked to be left alone to think.
"Nothing happened, we did nothing," Raven snapped back, aggravated her ask for privacy was not being acted upon.
"I need to stay and make sure her stats won't change for another half of an hour or so," Cyborg said, looking directly at Raven, telling her that he couldn't leave her side yet. Beast Boy looked sadly at Raven. He figured when she got back, she would gladly accept his company, but it seemed to be the complete opposite. He walked out of the room first, Robin and Starfire following behind them.
Raven picked up another piece of toast, and took a bite out of it, chewed fast and swallowed the food eagerly.
"Don't eat to fast, you'll get a stomach ache," Cyborg said, concerned for her health. Raven glared at him, as if he was going to take the food away from her. "Why don't you try getting some sleep, it looks like you haven't slept in days."
"Sleeping in a cool basement is not your ideal resting spot," she joked, shoving a piece and a half of toast into her mouth, she picked up the tray and handed it to Cyborg so he could set it on the floor. Raven pulled the covers up to her neck, and snuggled into them with ease. She fell asleep almost instantly. Cyborg watched her stats as they stayed normal, but all of a sudden the computer beeps started to come in faster. Cyborg looked at Raven fast asleep, thinking she must be intently in thought. The rhythm of the beats still got faster, meaning that nightmares, or really thoughtful dreams, were taking place in her mind.
"Something happened," whispered Cyborg, standing up and walking out of the room.
-xXx
"It was her heart pulse that fastened, meaning she was thinking, in this case possibly remembering. Something happened to her in the two weeks that she was gone. And it was a lot more then just thinning out from the lack of food," Cyborg explained to the other three Titans in the living room.
"Do you know what kind of something?" Robin asked.
"It's something that's giving her nightmares, and is obviously troubling her," Cyborg responded.
Beast Boy's mind wondered, thinking of all the possible things Slade could of done to the young woman, good and/or bad.
"When Raven wakes up, shall I talk to her?" Starfire said, curious to see if she could find answers.
"Yes, she might open up to you," said Beast Boy, the tone of his voice soft and distant.
"But don't wake her, now. She should really get some rest," Cyborg stated.
For the rest of the day, none of the Titan's talked to each other, waiting for Raven to awake so Starfire could pry information out of her. Starfire was nervous to talk to Raven, she did not want to upset her friend by telling secrets to the others she did not want her to tell in the first place.
Cyborg's right arm started to beep, telling him that she was awake, and he signaled for Starfire to go in and "comfort" her.
-xXx
'Real, everything was real,' Slade's mind taunted over and over again. His head rested in the palm of his hands, his elbows sticking into his knees.
'She's trying to trick you, she has you wrapped around her pinky finger. She could be plotting against you. Do not think that you will pursue the fact that what happened was real. It might not be.'
"The why did she tell me it was? Why?" he said, his voice hushed.
'To throw you off guard. She's playing the same game that we planned for her.'
Slade looked up from his palms, and raised his hands to the mask.
'Now is that the smart thing to do? You have become the mask that you hide under, whether you believe me or not.'
"There is no you, you are my conscious, and that's all you will ever be," said Slade, his voice stern, "Now that she's gone--"
'Your talking to me to make up for the loneliness. How sweet, you really do miss her. But is it her, or her company?'
Slade stopped at the question. What did he really feel?
-xXx
"Raven?" Starfire asked, peeking her head through the door.
"Come in," she said, throwing the pen and journal down that had been placed on her nightstand, compliments to Beast Boy.
"I came to see how you were doing," Star said, taking a seat on the end of Raven's bed.
"I am much better," Raven said, leaning over to bed to grab the tray of toast and milk, "a nice rest was all I needed."
"Well, now I will go tell the team of your progress," Starfire said, getting up and heading for the door. Raven looked at Starfire leaving, and thought she needed to get the incident of her chest.
"Wait, Starfire. I need to tell you something. I need to tell you what really happened in the last two weeks I was away," Raven blurted. Starfire turned around at the door, eyeing Raven. She looked upset as she took another huge bite of cold toast. Starfire walked slowly back to her place at the end of Raven's bed.
"What is up, friend Raven?" said Starfire innocently.
"Whatever you do, do not tell the guys. You promise?" Raven said, her eyes filled with trust.
"I promise!" Starfire smiled, but in her eyes was a doubt that she could keep this promise.
-xXx
"I wonder what they are talking about in there," said Beast Boy, loosing another game to Cyborg on Game Station.
"It's non of our business until Starfire tells us something went wrong," Robin said, smirking at the fact that Beast Boy was beat again, the seventh time in a row.
"What happens if Raven wants it secret?" Cyborg asked, "dude, she would slaughter us all."
"Especially Star," Beast Boy pointed out.
Robin sighed. "We need to find out what is troubling her, and we will tell her we were doing it for her own good.
"She won't buy it," Beast Boy explained, entering another battle he had a high chance of loosing with Cyborg.
"She has to, we are her friends, and we care for her," Cyborg said, is eyes glued to the T.V..
"At least we hope so," sighed Robin, a smile appearing on his face again, Beast Boy lost yet another round to the undefeated Cyborg.
-xXx
Raven looked at Starfire, and couldn't hold the secret in a minute longer.
"I kissed him!" Raven shrilled, Starfire jumped back in surprise, "he thought I was drunk and we kissed…." Raven's voice trailed of, and she started to whimper.
"Where?" Starfire asked. Raven looked up in defeat, her eyes turning red from the rivers of salty tears streaming down her face. Raven lifted her pointer finger to her mouth, and closed her eyes tight, sending another river of tears down her pale, gray face. Starfire's face became horrorstruck.
"This drunk, though. What does it mean?" Starfire asked, quite innocent to the dirtied world around her.
"Alcohol has chemicals in it that makes you delusional. For some, the truth reveals itself in actions, for others rash actions overcome you."
"So when you were drunk, you did not mean to kiss him? He had removed his mask?"
Raven cried harder, and the arch in the frown on Starfire's mouth had narrowed.
"I was not drunk, I used the alcohol as an excuse for my actions! Nor was Slade hefty with the drink! What we did two weeks ago was real!" Raven cried, the veins in her neck becoming more visible as they rose toward the surface of her skin from raising her temper.
Starfire was silenced by what she said, completely shocked. Her best friend had feelings for the enemy, and apparently he felt the same. It sounded like a bad dream, a nightmare.
"That is why you must not tell the others," Raven continued, "I'm so ashamed." Starfire still couldn't say anything, except she had a question.
"So he took his mask off and approached you?" Starfire questioned.
Raven's watery eyes met with Starfire's concerned ones and said, "I pulled him toward me and shed his mask from his face and kissed him, and he let me do it." Raven's voice was empty, weak.
"I do not know how to respond, so please forgive me for the awkward silence," Star apologized.
"There is nothing to say. And thank you Star, for listening," Raven said, sliding back down into her bed, "and now I need some time to myself."
Starfire sat up from the bed, and walked out of the door, trying to convince herself not to tell the guys of what Raven had confided in her.
-xXx
Robin turned around to see a gloomy Starfire walking toward him and Beast Boy and Cyborg.
"Well," he questioned, "What did she say?"
"I feel that I should not tell you what she said, she seriously said that I should not tell you through heartfelt tears," Starfire explained, keeping the secret within.
"She was crying!" blurted Beast Boy, with a worried look.
"We seriously want to help her though. We can avenge what he did to her," Cyborg said, throwing down the Game Station control.
"Cyborg and friends I can not disclose to you what Raven said. And you do not need to avenge Slade, they did nothing," Starfire said, before walking out of the living room.
"Through tears?" Beast Boy repeated, "She's upset and I'm going to find out why. A plan that I thought of myself."
"You thought up yourself?" Robin questioned.
"Are you capable of doing that?" Cyborg teased. Beast Boy gave Cyborg a cross look.
"I left a journal on the table by her bed. She's bound to write in it if something is wrong!"
"Not a bad idea, for once. Just don't let it explode in your face when she finds the journal missing," Robin said, outstretching his hand, signaling Beast Boy to give him the Game Station control. Beast Boy handed Robin the control and walked upstairs toward Raven's room.
-xXx
Once in, Beast Boy announced that he was here to take the cold toast and warm milk out of the room, but the only response was snoring. He eyed the journal and took it with haste, and ran out of the room, heading for his own. As soon as he jumped on his bed, he only saw about a paragraph, writing that looked in poetry form.
"The outline of your face, might become a little blurry at times," he whispered aloud, reading the poem, "the arch in your smile…." He skimmed the rest of it and stared at it. He was astounded, dumbfounded. A curse word leaked out of his mouth and he held on to the book running down to show it to his male companions.
The outline of your face,
Might become a little blurry at times.
The arch in your smile might seem to fade,
Your laugh may seem to change with every memory,
The warmth of your touch may turn cold,
But with every day your image slowly slips from memory,
Missing you grows stronger.
A/N: Chapter eight! The italics above is what the poem read. That's mine and anybody who wants to copy it must give credit to me. And to think that this was the end? Ha! Thanks for reading and please review! Thanks!
