Chapter 5- Sorrow
Idomu stood up and breathed to even his emotions. He was lost in his own words. He was deep in his own pains. How could his only friend forget him that easily? "How could he…?" Idomu flinged his fist to the wall forcibly, placing his anger into it. He was intellectually frustrated, thinking about the past. It won't really go away and it haunts him every time he would remember it. The past, especially their friendship and that day turned out to be his nightmare, an incredulent story of the past which eventually turned out to be a threat in the future and it was sure to happen. His revenge, his lust to put Nokoru down; everything he had made to make him suffer, it is all but a part of a growing wound if his and if this continues… how would he ever see that there is more in life than sadness.
Idomu bit his lower lip. He just can't stand the pain. Until now, even though they have been friends again, he still can't remember him. "That blonde…" He murmured in his low voice but a tint of anger mixed within his tone of speech. "He had considered the past a part of a dream…" He had never made it into a vision of hope. In fact, it seems that he has buried it under the sand and he had forgotten where he marked it. However… Idomu still hopes that he would remember and bring those memories back.
"How foolish." Idomu grinned as he placed his hand over his right eye. He lowered his head making his hair cover his eyes. "He would never." He refused with the thought that just diverged his first thought… but… has he lost the hope of their friendship? Surely that blonde and that ninja are getting well and worse, they are inseparable and to think of it; it seems that… they are falling in love with each other. It is undeniable; they are in love, with those smiles, those laughters and those days they had shared with one another, there was no doubt that they love the company of which. And so as what it might happen, thought their love can bring Nokoru down. He is of coarse an Imonoyama, specifically, the heir if the clan. He definitely knows what to do, but… it would cost him more. Their love is in conceit. "So what will you do now Nokoru?" He knew that it would be hard and as a friend once, Idomu sure is hurt by the thought.
"If love would be selfish then he will fail… as a man of perfection, but if he will make this love free… I assure that he will be hurt but his name will not be tainted with pain and he, himself will be." He said in silence .He just can't believe them; any choice he would step on, he would be in pain. "Darn!" Idomu cursed. Why would he even think of this stuff? Why would he even care, if… "If I am no one to him…"
Nokoru gained his consciousness and opened his eyes, slowly, as he can still feel the pain throughout his entire body. It was like hell and fire seems to burn his vulnerable body. He was weak, since… "Since when have I been unconscious anyway?" He questioned as he cleared his vision and took the time to scan his surrounding. And yes, he had perceived that he was in another room again. "Still a dream…?" He lifted his hand and placed on his forehead, closing his eyes; filling the place with pure silence though the rustling of the trees can be heard. He was hurt not only physically but his heart was hurt as well. He just can't keep the thought away.
Just in time, as he tried to bring himself up, a small cry broke the silence in the room. "Who…who's there?" The blonde questioned as he tilted his head to the direction of the voice. He was alarmed though his looks changed to sympathy. A small boy walked out of the shadow, crying. "That boy... he is just like me." Nokoru said to himself. "He is crying like me." The blonde patted the child's head and smiled as their eyes met. "This kid, he looks just like me." The small boy sobbed away his tears and stared unseemingly at Nokoru. "And who might you be little one?" Nokoru asked as he wiped away the young boy's tears with his thumbs, keeping his hands on the boy's cheeks. "I'm… I'm Nokoru, Imonoyama Nokoru."
It was him after all. The small kid, he once forgot about. "Nokoru, what a nice name. So tell me, what would be the cause of your tears?" The blonde asked in a well-mannered voice which was filled with a voice of concern. "It's nothing… really. Thanks for your concern big brother but it's nothing, really." The younger boy flashed a smile but it was no use. He was like a book that can easily be read. Then again, tears freely fell down his cheeks. He is still a kid and emotions must not be held against the will. "It's ok, just cry out your pain, I'll be here." Nokoru held the kid into his arms, hugging him to ease the pain or maybe… it's the least he can do. "Its… it's because..." The young boy spoke in between sobs, unable to hold his tears. "I had lied to a friend and- and it seems that I might loose him. No… I know I will loose him." He continued as he held Nokoru's shirt tighter. "It was that time when I had a car accident. I was rushed to the hospital and luckily nothing bad happened to me but… I asked everyone and the doctors to act as if I had amnesia. They told it to my friend, my one and only and I had hurt him too much though I know it was for the best, I don't want him to be in danger again just because of me. So I had made him to forget about me and it hurts and I know it would be more to him than to me. I lost a friend and he did to. He was my only friend… and I had left him… If only… If only I'm not an Imonoyama! If only I did not receive this brain that NASA wants! Then… then of course, I would have someone whom I may call… a friend… but it's impossible now."
The blonde startled as he heard all these. Yes, it had happened to him before and it had made himself hurt too much. That incident had caused him more that what was expected. He never thought that it would be difficult to forget him and indeed, he was wrong. Day and night he would suffer thinking of him; he did not eat nor did he sleep well. He had even locked himself in his room, occasionally he would go out if necessary. And once in a while he would be rushed to the hospital because of some sickness he got. This continued for over a year and everyone in their mansion worried about him. His mother and siblings would even take a leave in their work and assume the time spent for the blonde, caressing him. Surely they have shown their love for him but even though they tried to take the pain out of him, it deepens even more, thinking that there's no chance that he'll have friends again and if he does, they'll just suffer. Still, for Nokoru, it would be better to hurt yourself that to hurt others, even though the pain he would endure breaks his heart, he would still take it just for the happiness of others.
That is why; he is being tortured by others and he, as well though no one notices it because he wears that fake smile. No one knows but only the illusion that prevents the reality be revealed. He had kept it for so long, he had endured his sadness and until now. Even love must be taken away, he had loved the ninja and it had not done any good in fact it made the situation worse. It had made the blonde deepen his sorrow and frantically, he would be out in the rain… crying.
"But that's the least I can do for my friends." Nokoru muttered in a soft voice. The little kid looked up at him. He can see in the older boy's eyes the feeling of hurt as he as well feels the grief of it. They are just the same, they are hurt and only they can see it. "I'm sorry." The younger blonde whispered making the blonde look down at him. "I should have not told you this. "I'm sorry." The boy turned his back and ran away. He disappeared just as he fled away into darkness.
"It's not your fault…" Nokoru said in his mind. "You just did it for the sake of your friend… and loosing them… is a part of it and it can't be helped." The blonde cuddled himself under the bed sheets. The wind was very cold not just because of the rain but also the feeling of great despair. "Still… it seems that it is wrong." I had made them suffer as well, especially him… Idomu."
To be continued…
