[Robin's POV]
Another day has gone by, I wake on the couch, even thought it's the penthouse suit it doesn't have more than one bedroom, however the couch is more comfortable than even my own bed, it reminds me of Raven's bed which churns my stomach in ways that convince me I no longer should eat breakfast. Bruce is already awake munching on toast as he clicks through the evidence one more time, things he has gathered himself from patrolling around the carnival grounds and what not. He has offered for me to go but, I can't seem to do it.
"Morning" He says plainly, I wave as I continue to wake up, grabbing a mug from the silver tray of a hot coffee pot and all the mix ins. They really take care of their guests here. I take a sip of the black coffee, it's bitter but I like it. It makes me feel as grounded as the coffee beans. I laugh to myself slightly. Raven used to chuckle when I said that. She would roll her eyes and try to pretend she didn't think it's funny, but I knew her better.
The phone rings through the hotel, making me almost jump at the sudden noise. Bruce grabs the phone by the third ring lifting the receiver to his face.
"Bruce Wayne" He answers, it is like he was one business. It almost feels so casual and normal, I forget everything that is happening for a second, just a second. "Yes he is here"
I snap up to look at him, could that be his team. They are calling for me? Have they chose to let me fix things? Am I going to get the chance? Almost as quickly as the hope came it flew away when I start thinking that maybe they are calling me so that I can be aware that they are officially kicking me off the Titans, I would deserve it. Go back to Gotham and continue by Robin work with Bruce, try to avoid Barbra even though I should probably apologize to her too.
Bruce looks over to me as he listens to the person on the other side of the phone, I almost feel giddy waiting for him to hang up and tell me what is going on, he doesn't though. I anxiously bounce my leg under the table as I continue to sip on my liquid sleep. Bruce doesn't say much else, let's the person on the other side of the phone do all the talking, it seems to go on for about five minutes before he says something next.
"I will let him know, please give everyone my congrats" Bruce says as he hangs up the phone, he looks to me as he walks towards his computer and sits down. He doesn't break looking at me, he puts a gentle hand on my arm.
"You need to go back to the tower. It's urgent. I won't tell you what it is, that isn't my place." Bruce tells me, I feel my gut twist.
"Can you take me, I don't really have a ride" I say, he nods.
XxX
I stand in the garage almost nervous to go through those elevator doors. I still think it's weird how Bruce already knew how to get through the water tunnel without any of my help, it is specifically made so that most people wouldn't be able to go through unless you know everything there is to know about how to get to it, like Cyborg and I since we are the only ones who can't fly. Well Cyborg could but he's afraid of falling due to tech malfunction. I finally gather the courage to go through the elevator door. The ride up is even worse, my heart bears loudly in my chest and my hands shake. It dings. I walk through the doors and the first thing I see is Starfire leaning against the counter, her uniform looks as good as ever on her and I almost forger we aren't together. I simply nod at her, she stops in front of me and puts a hand on my shoulder, I almost flinch because the last time she did this she was flying me out of the tower.
"So what did you guys want me here for?" I ask she presses her lips together and yells out for Cyborg telling him I am here. I can hear talking, more than one voice, more than two voices. She moves aside and Cyborg and Beastboy walk in. Then my heart drops into my stomach.
Raven, sure enough it's her. Same purple hair, violet eyes, her figure is the same. She wears her uniform and looks over to me with a blank expression. I can feel our bond again not as strong as it once was but I feel it. I draw in a shaky breath and my first instinct is to touch her, grab her. Hug her. Anything to prove to me she is real.
"How?" I ask she presses her lips together and starts to tell me everything, how she was beaten to near death, how her body forced herself to protect herself even through the medallion. Conner never mentioned that part, he actually never told anyone who broke his jaw. Which means he probably was too ashamed that he was beaten by a girl half his size who was also on the floor unconscious. I feel almost numb like this is a dream and I am waiting to wake up in the hotel room with Bruce and her still be gone. I pinch myself. I don't wake.
"I don't understand, I mean I do I just...I couldn't feel you" I say she nods and fidgets with her finger in her hand.
"In my healing state the bond is dormant until I turn it back on" She replies, I nod to myself. I push back the tears of joy, I will not cry right now. I look around to Cyborg and Beastboy who exchange glances to each other.
"Look Raven...I need to say something" I start, I wait for anyone to stop be but no one does. "I was wrong, in every way possible. I treated you...like shit. I was awful to you. When that thing with Timothy happened I should have been there for you. I was dumb to think you accepted it. I am sorry we didn't come get you, I am sorry how things ended with us, and I am sorry I cheated on you with Starfire. You deserve way more than me. All of you do, I was an awful leader, and you deserved more than what I could give you."
No one says anything for a moment, I can see they are all mulling it over in their heads if they are going to accept mt apology. I don't get anxious this time, I know that they have every right not to at this point.
"Robin, I forgive you. It'll be a while before even I can trust you completely again but I forgive you. I don't want you to forever blame yourself. I appreciate your apology" Raven says her voice is soothing it is exactly as I remember it being. Soothing and calm.
"Look bro, I am not going to apologize for how I treated you because You deserved it. I will never be able to forgive you for how you treated Rae, but I am not going to hate you. We didn't lose her but we could have. I am glad you had this realization here, and I just hope it changes the way you lead in the future. I mean it" Cyborg says, I almost feel a giant weight lifted off my shoulders that is more than I ever thought I would get from him. When I saw Raven I knew he still wouldn't forgive me from the stone cold look he had in his eyes.
"Yeah dude, I forgive you but I am not sure I trust you exactly. Raven almost died" Beastboy chimes in, this is the first time I have seen him without the egg in his arms and I wonder if Raven has it now. I nod at Beastboy and turn to Starfire, I wonder what will happen with us from this point. Do I even have a shot with her? Does she even wants a shot with me?
"Robin...I still need time" She mutters, I can respect that she deserves as much time as she needs. Everyone would.
"So you guys say I can stay?" I ask, everyone nods collectively. I feel a feeling of pride running through me knowing I am back. Even if they don't trust me completely it is enough to know I have a chance to show them I can change, that they can trust me to change. I look back to Raven and almost feel as though I am not living in real life again. I saw the picture of her on the floor and that was all the proof I needed to think she was gone for good. Even now, the detective side of me feels like maybe she isn't telling us the full story however I know that if she wanted to she would. I am not in a place to have the right to ask her about it. For now I just watch the way she talks with everyone see how real she is in this moment. She's back.
[Raven's POV]
I finally get time to myself after hours of talking with the team, everyone so glad I am back and wanting to catch up on the few things to happen while I was gone. Even Starfire wanted to tell me she broke things off with Robin, I could tell that still hurts him, even more so than our breakup. That doesn't bother me as much as it used to though. Starfire is very easy for men to love, I always knew they would end up together at some point too, even while we were together. Seeing the way he looks at her just proved to me that we weren't meant to be. We were better off as friends and why we let our relationship keep going that long with both of us knowing that is beyond me. A knock on my door tears me away from my thoughts and from re-organizing my clothes. I open the door to see the broad shoulders of Cyborg standing in my doorway. I welcome him in, which is rare but this is a special occasion. He looks down at me and for a second I can see him trying to keep the happiness of seeing me again contained. He clears his throat.
"So, I wanted to talk to you about something but I don't want you to feel...cornered" He says, I nod and urge him to keep going. "I can see your vitals when you speak. You weren't being honest with us were you? I didn't say anything yesterday because I thought maybe you were just happy to be back but your vitals were normal until you told Robin the same thing."
"Cy I-"
"You don't need to lie to me Rae. I won't tell anyone and I won't hold it against you. I just want to know what's been going on with you. For breakfast you put peanut butter on your waffles. You have never fucking done that before, and healing yourself has never changed your tastbuds." He says, I poke my tongue into the side of my cheek.
I pause for a moment not sure if I should tell him the complete truth or not, I beckon for him to sit on the edge of my bed and he does so. I sit next to him folding my legs underneath me in the lotus position.
"Jason Garrette is Red X, but he isn't Jason Garrette. I won't go into more details, he deserves his privacy but he helped me when the thing with Timothy happened and he has been there for me throughout this whole thing. He got me to safety at the carnival he stopped Conner from..." I trail off Cyborg sighs
"Did he.."
"Yes. He did. Jason helped me. He didn't know if I was dead or not but he just needed to get me out of there so he made sure Conner would be caught and then he teleported me out of there. I have been healing...mentally and physically at his safe house" I explain
I try to gauge how he feels by his looks but his face is unreadable. Even his emotions seem conflicted it can't be easy to know the truth about everything and it can't be easy to know if he is mad at me right now when I just got back. He stays like this for a couple minutes before looking at me, finding my eyes.
"Do you love him Raven?" He asks, I honestly had never asked myself that question but right now, the answer comes without hesitation.
"I do, I want to be with him. I told Robin I forgave him and I do but I can't be here. I don't want to watch those two together, I can't trust that anyone here other than you will have my back. I don't feel safe here" I admit
"Red X he's a bad guy, we fight him. We have not been able to catch him, I just don't get how you fell for him" Cyborg says, he's right. It doesn't make much sense.
"I saw him for who he is. He's a good guy Cy, his life is complicated. He gave me what I needed, he's been sweeter and more understanding than Robin ever has been" I tell him, Cy things looking down at me and then to the roof like the answer will be written there.
"Okay...thank you for being honest with me. I am not going to tell you I agree with your choice of friend but he saved you not once but three times and I can't pretend like that doesn't mean anything. It does. I knew he had to have something to do with how you got out of there to be honest. When Starfire told me she saw him, and that she saw him react to the second shot I knew that he probably found you. I just couldn't prove it." Cyborg says, I chew on the inside of my cheek looking down at my lap. "He knew you were in trouble and he did everything he could to get to you. As much as I hate to admit it...you might actually be better off with him than under Robin"
"I didn't like lying to you guys" I admit, it's true I hated the feeling, I felt like I was betraying my friends.
"I know, and I won't tell anyone else this trust me. I just knew something was off but I didn't want you to feel like you couldn't tell me" He says. "Now, tell me what you want to do about Jason because you two won't work out if we have to fight him every weekend. If I see him hit you I am shooting him"
"I don't know, I want to convince him not to do it anymore, maybe we can just...lay low." I say, Cyborg nods and rubs his head.
"Robin is going to flip if he finds out who you are in love with" He points out, I nod and widen my eyes. More than you know Cyborg. More than you know.
I hug him. It takes him by surprise at first but he hugs back, it feels nice to have someone know the truth. It doesn't feel like I am a traitor nearly as much. Trusting Cyborg is easy. He always keeps his word and he never judges unless you are Robin. He has never judged me which is why it was so easy for us to get this close to begin with. I break away the hug first and I can see he wasn't ready, letting me go probably feels close to impossible but who can blame him?
"I never want to lose you again Rae, I don't think you know how awful that felt. I bullied the fuck out of Robin" He says, I snort and press my lips together to stifle my laughter.
"You did what?" I ask
"Yeah, so I was mean. I don't regret it one bit, I think it helped him see how much he fucked up but I was pushing him around and onto the floor and shit. I let him know we all knew it was his fault" he replies, he chuckles a bit shaking is head at himself. "and I would do it again! Bop Bop"
He pumps to fists in front of him as if he is punching nothing.
"Well let's hope you never have to" I reply he nods and stands from the bed, I do the same as we both migrate to the door. He gives me another hug this time I can feel his need for it. When he breaks the hug I can feel the calmness he feels now. How much better he feels in general knowing for sure I am alive and safe and the whole story behind why. As he leaves I can't help but smile. He truly is the big brother I never had or knew I needed.
The following month was filled with me packing up my stuff and choosing an apartment. Jason wants me to move into his safe house with him but, I think I am not ready to live with him for good just yet. I want to have some me time before I do that. He understands, we compromised and my apartment of choice is five minutes from him. Cyborg has been the one helping me with everything including telling Robin that I am out of the team. It went over a lot better than I expected.
"What do you mean, you just got back" Robin says looking between the two of us.
"Both times I needed backup I didn't have it. As much as our situation is getting better I don't feel...safe here. Having this happen to me was eye opening in a lot of ways" I say Robin shakes his head.
"We will have your back! You are our family!" Robin argues, I shake my head.
"You sent me in as bait. That isn't okay Robin. I forgave you for it but, it proved to me I shouldn't be here anymore. I need to go off on my own. Not do the hero thing anymore. Just live my life" I say he doesn't seem to be okay with it, and I can tell he is about to say something else.
"Raven will always be a member of the Titans. She is going to be living on her own and she won't be saving people but if she needs us, we will be there. It's only fair" Cyborg cuts in, I smile up at him.
"Okay...I am sorry that I pushed you this far Raven...it was never my intention" He says, I know. We just can't keep pretending that it didn't come to this because of him. He let the mission come first and now he lost me because of it.
