Chapter 6 - A Sunflower's Wedding

Temari's nervousness had reached its highest peak. Since Himari had entered the bride's lounge – or The Monster's Cave, as Kankuro had called it, the blond had already panicked about her mother's dress slight tightness around her hips, had yelled at her brother for snacking from the buffet and had almost fired half of the wedding staff. So it was with a bit of apprehension that Himari brought her the bouquet, hoping the sight of off-white flowers wouldn't trigger a fit of nervous tears. Gold dust was sprinkled over the blond's cheeks. A few golden flakes clang to her eyelashes. Traditionally, Temari's mother would have done her daughter's makeup. Given the circumstances, Kankuro had insisted to do it, enhancing his sister's natural beauty with accents of gold. The oldest of the sand sibling looked like a goddess.

"You're beautiful, Temari."

The blond grabbed her hand, tears in her eyes. "I've never got to thank you, Himari," she half sobbed, high on emotions. "You've always been so kind. I'm honored to count you as a friend."

"I'm the one who's lucky," Himari replied, smiling. She gently squeezed her friend's hand. "Now, don't cry. Kankuro's going to be pissed if you ruin his work."

"You're right," the blond sniffled. "It's time to go."

...

A gentle breeze swayed the lanterns from left to right. Joyful chatters rose in the air as Konoha's guests started to mingle with Suna's. Some of the guests had taken off their shoes, feeling the warm sand under their bare feet. At their table, Himari was one of the first to discard her uncomfortable footwear, her toes playing absently in the sand. Above their head, a moon crescent shone among the stars. Kankuro's speech cracked a few laughs from the audience, comical, while Gaara's speech leant on a more neutral side, but his words held a subtle fondness that stole a few tears from the bride. Shikamaru's friends punctuated their speeches with hilarious anecdotes and childhood stories. Himari couldn't stop smiling from joy, truly happy for her friend.

The night was young.

...

Aiya's elbow dug into her ribs, requesting her attention. "You sure didn't tell me in your letters that Konoha's man were so handsome," she reproached her.

Himari followed her glance. A huge wooden platform embedded in the sand served as a dancefloor. Drunk like a sailor, Kankuro sang along the cheerful music with an arm over Kiba's shoulders for balance, a drink in hand. Besides them, Lee sank deeply in his chair, his forehead against the table as the result of successive losses at drinking games. Aiya scrunched her nose up out of annoyance in response to Kankuro's wink at her.

"I'm not looking at you, idiot," her friend muttered, frowning.

The blond had briefly crossed path with the sand sibling and the moment he'd opened his mouth, she'd put him in the box of dudes to strictly avoid. Kankuro's flirty behavior and teasing banter always irritated her to a point she'd rather not be in the same room as him.

"What's the other guy's name?" Aiya asked, sipping on her drink. "He's cute."

"Kiba," she answered. "He's a real sweetheart, a total dog lover and bit reckless, but totally inoffensive."

By the time Aiya had gathered every intel she had to offer about the Inuzuka boy, twenty minutes had passed. Even Aiya's one night stand didn't escape her meticulous planification beforehand. Her friend chugged her drink, a flirty smile on her lips as she replaced the hem of her little pink dress.

"I'm ready," she winked.

But as she was about to walk over to join her future companion for the night, Kankuro's tall figure blocked her plans. Himari's gaze settled over the form behind him, enticed by Gaara's untamed hair that seemed to burn under the lantern's soft light. Her heart clenched in her chest.

"Ladies," Kankuro greeted them with a charming smile. "We're here to bring you onto the dancefloor."

Based on Gaara's expression, Himari guessed that the redhead wasn't here out of his own free will. Kankuro offered a hand to Aiya, which the blond responded to with an unimpressed scoff, a manicured hand on her hips.

"I'm not dancing with you, clown face."

Kankuro's eyes hardened, glaring at her. "It's one of my sister's bridezilla wishes, so I wasn't actually asking, pixie."

"Pixie?" Aiya hissed. "I'm five foot three, jerk!"

He didn't let her the time to escape, grabbing her by the hand before dragging her all the way to the dancefloor. On his way, Kankuro didn't forget to give a little pat on Gaara's shoulder, urging him to ask her to dance. Left alone with the redhead, Himari plundged her feet into the warm sand. She offered him a small smile.

"It's okay," she said, a bit nervous for an unknown reason. "You don't have to ask me for a dance if you don't want to..."

He offered his hand, palms up to the sky for her to take. Long, pale fingers. Her rambling stopped, stuck in her throat. Hesitation flickered in his eyes as he stand there, halfly expecting her to reject his offer coldly. Little did he know she'd dreamed of this. The moment they'd hold hands again, like before. When she left, a part of her had mourned their friendship. And she'd mourned something else, too.

She raised a pair of confused eyes at him. "I thought you didn't dance."

"Just not with anyone."

She smiled.

Near them on the dancefloor, Kankuro was whispering something into Aiya's ear and the blond barely refrained from making a scene at the wedding, glaring daggers at the puppeteer. As they twirled around on the soft tempo, Himari lost the view on her friends, and the girl didn't know if she should be more worried about it. With her mind distracted, she bumped lightly into Gaara's chest.

She winced. "Sorry."

"I've wanted to apologize to you," Gaara replied.

Her mouth slightly agape, Himari slowly raised her head to meet his seafoam gaze. Dark circles darkened his glance, darker than usual. It seemed as if he'd given up sleep completely. Paler than a corpse, his hollow cheeks indicated a lack of adequate nutrition. She frowned, worried.

"Gaara, I-"

His face twisted. For a moment, incertitude troubled his gaze. He seemed to have lost his bearings, unsure, like that fateful day at the playground, as he stood under that tree, hurt and full of anger. His pale eyes travelled her face, contemplating her features. He shook his head, sighing. Sorrow and regrets filled his eyes.

"I've hurt you, and I wanted you to know that I won't interfere in your life anymore. You're free to do as you wish. Here, in Suna, or… elsewhere. Whatever you decide. I'm truly sorry. For everything."

The song ended. And he let go of her.

...

It'd been one week since Temari's wedding. The blond had asked her to take care of her brothers while she'd be enjoying the Land of Earth's thermal sources for her honeymoon, but if Himari had to be completely honest, Temari's request wasn't the reason why she was now standing outside of the Kazekage's office with a homemade lunch in her left hand. After she'd knocked three times, a voice tinged with fatigue invited her to come in. As she stepped into the room, he seemed surprised to see her.

"I wasn't expecting you."

She froze, now unsure of her impulsive idea. "Is this a bad moment?"

He put down his pen, running a hand through his ruffled hair. "No, not at all."

She smiled. "Temari asked me to check on you," the girl explained, feeling a bit of a guilt as the words felt like a lie. Actually, I've been worried about you. Those were the words she wished to say. Himari grabbed the bento box in her bag, putting it on his desk. "I thought you would be hungry, so I've made you this."

"You made it?"

Shock froze his traits for a second. He slowly reached for it, carefully manipulating the box as if it was the most precious of things. Her heart broke at the thought of her being the first person to do something like that for him. She couldn't help but blush a little in a mix of pride and something else. Nervousness overwhelmed her at the thought of him not liking her cooking. He probably remembered the three batch of cookies she'd burnt when they were younger, before finally getting the recipe right. The stray dogs hadn't even wanted to test their luck by giving them a taste. But he'd eaten a handful of them, not even wincing at their burnt taste.

"W-well, I did my best," she replied. "It's edible, I swear!"

"I'm sure it is," he said, slightly amused. His shoulders relaxed as his expression softened. "Thank you, Himari."

Himari didn't have the courage the ask the question that burned her lips. With a bow, she excused herself and left his office.

...

She kept bringing him lunch even after Temari's return. She'd even started to eat with him during his twenty minutes break and sometimes, on her free days, she would bring a book to read on the small couch across the room while he worked.

"Did you know that Water Hemlock has been deemed one of the most violently toxic plant? It's often confused with parsnips or celery. You wouldn't know you'd eaten it before you're convulsing on the ground. Crazy, right?"

Every day, Himari didn't muster the sufficient courage to pop the question haunting her during her sleep, so she'd blurt out weirds facts about the animal kingdom or about some plants species as a warm-up.

He lifted up his head from his papers, raising a brow at her. "Trying to find a subtle way to kill me now?"

"Don't worry," she teased him. "As long as you're feeding me cookies, you'll be safe."

One day, a table had appeared next to the couch with a different tray of sweets displayed on it each time she would visit him. It was Gaara's way to make her feel welcomed in his office and her cheeks kept warming up at the kind thought. They wouldn't leave the office for a different place, content with their isolated little bubble from the outside world. What they'd built over the last weeks was still new, fragile. And today, she might break it. She'd stalled long enough. She slowly closed her book before dropping it on the couch's arm. Himari tucked her legs under her, fidgeting.

"You didn't come to see me."

She didn't need to mention what time she was referring to. He knew.

"I didn't want to bother you," he replied.

But what if I want you to bother me?

That day, they didn't exchange another word.

...

"Will our friendship ever go back to how it was, one day?"

He grunted. "I don't know."

...

She'd spent her morning in Gaara's office, lazily eating lemon shortbread while flipping through the pages of a romance novel. Contracts, requests and parchments always seemed to find a way to pile higher on his desk. She dropped her book on her lap, a smile automatically reaching her lips as her eyes landed on him. They'd started to take a stroll under the sun during his lunchbreak. If he'd frowned confusedly at her odd request the first time, he hadn't turn it down and now, it felt as if he was eyeing the clock more frequently, eager for noon to arrive.

As they walked through the village's market, the merchants respectfully bowed to Gaara whenever they'd stop at their shop. She'd never miss the occasion to make a stop at Kaoru's flower shop, and while she'd look at the new plants arrival at the back of the shop, the old lady happily chitchatted with Gaara. Himari guessed there was a little bit of teasing on Kaoru's part, since the redhead couldn't hide a slight blush sometimes at her words. He'd never tell her what their conversations were about.

Giggling girls passed by them. With porcelain skin, flirty smiles and doe eyes, they politely bowed at Gaara, their gaze appreciatively trailing over his tall form. Not thinking, Himari grabbed the redhead by the hand, ignoring the look of evident surprise on his face.

"I'm tired of walking," she said.

"Alright, let's go back to the tower."

She intertwined their fingers, and he shyly squeezed her hand. Whispers rose in the streets, but she didn't care to listen to them. Blushing, Himari followed the redhead as he guided them through the crowded market, not letting go of her hand even once.

...

"Marry me."

She nearly choked on her tea. "W-what?"

"The promise of an eternal love. That's what you said it meant to you," he said, calm. Too calm. "I want that. With you."

He remembers. It all felt like ages ago. Feeling as if her whole body had been electrified, Himari slowly walked up to his desk. Her hands were shaking. She couldn't take it anymore. That heavy weight on her chest, suffocating her. Her fingers gently pushed away strands of hair, brushing past the kanji on his forehead. Her face contorted sadly. "But can you offer me that, Gaara? Love?"

Lips tight, he didn't answer, and tears started to fill the corner of her eyes. He couldn't say it. Three little words. I love you, Himari. He just stared at her. As she dropped her hand, he winced.

"When I can't sleep, I think of you. I want to keep you near me, all the time."

She shook her head. "That's what I thought," she whispered as cruel disappointment consumed her. "That's not love. It's possessiveness."

In a flicker of a moment, he appeared in front of her, so close his scent was tickling her nose, enticing. Of his own desire, his fingers touched the side of her face. His sand armor crumbled. There wasn't anything left between them. As she closed her eyes, his skin felt warm against hers.

His raspy voice reached her ear, vulnerable. "When you're away, it feels as if my heart isn't beating right. It hurts. But you just have to smile and like that, the pain is gone."

Himari remembered to breathe. "Gaara, I-"

"I'm trying," he cut her off. "I'll ensure you're not cold at night, I'll take you to buy plants, I'll go eat ice cones with you even if it's too sweet to my own tastes and I'll-"

"You'll make me flowers out of sand whenever I'm sad," she murmured almost against his lips as their faces were separated by merely an inch of emptiness.

His eyes widened when she leaned in dangerously close to steal him a kiss. It tasted of sugar and salt. He melted onto her lips like he'd been starving for her taste. When they separated from each other, a bit dizzy and out of breath, she smiled softly at him. She'd longed for a place to belong. A perfect home. But life was anything but perfect. She'd wished to spent the rest of her days alongside that little boy the moment she'd catched that gutwrenching need to belong in his pale, forlorn eyes. A feeling so similar to her own.

"It took you long enough, slowpoke."

He kissed her again, smiling.