A/N: To my readers, especially my loyal ones with all their heartwarming reviews, I am so sorry that I was unable to get more chapters up this week... I've been swimming in this pool of ominous homework, you see, only tonight was I able to relieve myself of doing everything the teachers want me to :p
Just so you know, some of this might seem a bit wierd if you haven't read the book... like certain scenery descriptions, but if you haven't, that's ok, i'm sure you can all accept certain features as part of the story anyway:p, we all have active imaginations, I'm sure...and I'm talking way too much now...
Disclaimer: I don't own the Phantom of the Opera, or any of it's characters... Mores the pity.
Kristen didn't know what to think, as her mind and heart absorbed the very contents of that room. Beautiful, graceful, deathlike and scary all at once, and at the same time, dedicated. Everything she laid her eyes on seemed to have it's purpose there, although she did not know yet the motives behind their existence.
"Erik," She whispered, but he remained silent. Never could she have imagined seeing all of this behind that pathetic little door. Amongst the cobwebs and dust, hidden within the shadows, were the very items of heartbreak and passion. She had never seen so many books in her life, shelves full of literature, scientific study, and other sources she would be hard pressed to even know about. Her eyes were drawn instantly to the small piano obscured in the darkness of the far corner, just buried under books of music, and scattered sheets, yellow with age. The room bore a wooden floor, which she thought to be particularly odd, for the rest of the lair was stone. A Persian rug lay in the centre of this morbid domain. The far wall was shrouded in the blackness, the candle which Erik held did little to illuminate her surroundings.
She looked up to him, and he closed his eyes. He didn't want to know what was going through her head already, but still he found the courage to hand her the candle. She took this light with caution, and began to advance towards the haze of dark. What she saw now could have stopped her heart altogether. So the first part hadn't been so bad... but this? this was just... indescribable. Sitting atop the wooden mount, with two gothic candle holders at either side, was a hideous black coffin, it's lid open, as if ready for it's victim. This was perhaps the only item, save for the piano keys, which was not completely veiled by dust. It was evil, pure evil, and Kristen could hardly bare to look at it. Obviously he slept in this sorry state, she turned back to look at him, but his eyes were still shut. She knew that he truly feared her knowing these things about him, and obviously he did not want her in here for that very reason.
She continued past his ugly bed, and followed her invisible path of wonder, towards something which to her, seemed even stranger than the coffin itself. Pictures, of a young woman, whom Kristen recognized to be Christine Daee... or de Chagny... or whatever. Tons of pictures, drawings, a mannequin? Where in the hell did he get that and what in the blinking hell was it used for? She thought she would understand whatever he was hiding, but why did she feel the sudden urge to lunge or curse at him for having these things locked away? Obviously these items were the very things which once littered the main lair, which was why, she guessed, it had seemed so curiously empty before. Erik had tucked them away... conspicuously. She sighed, the woman was still in his heart, and she knew she would never be able to fully erase her from him.
She then proceeded to mentally name herself a bloody idiot, for there were many unlit candles around the room, and she carried but a single one. She looked over to him... and sighed. What am I doing? She asked herself. Truly... Why did she have to see these things? Why? Because she knew that if she had left well enough alone, she would be out there right now, continuing to ponder the contents of this quarter, and she would continue to do so forever. So now was the time, and she knew what she had to do, no matter how much it hurt him... she would have to find a way to heal his pains. She put the flaming wick to the other candles, and watched as they lit up the entire space, a space which had probably never seen this much light, ever in it's duration.
She gasped. The place was larger than she had at first predicted... and was that a metal tree? Mirrors loomed everywhere, ropes, ladders, chains. She was instantly drawn to the pair of rusted cuffs which hung so innocently from a dirty stake in the wall. She approached them, and then looked back to Erik, "Where did you manage to obtain all these things?" She asked. Slowly he walked to her, and she quite calmly waited until the gap between them was vanished.
"Kristen, I will not blame you if you never wish to return here again. I can almost see it in your eyes, that you are disgusted with the idea of this chamber." He spoke with the softest voice, the voice which seemed to sway her from her thoughts... but she knew it was a weapon, and perhaps he never intended it to be, she could not let his beauteous vocal ability set her off her course. What he was saying was very real, these things were distorted... but at the same time, they were both fair and passionate. She did not answer him right away, the thoughts which ran through her head, so many at once, were destroying her ability to convey.
She gently held the cuffs in her hands, they would not fit around her own wrists, let alone his... but maybe Chr... "Erik, who was it that befell this tragedy? Who did you imprison within these chains?" She asked quietly, trying strongly to remain collected, although she could not imagine him putting anyone in chains... in torture...
He let out a long slow sigh, was it disappointment or shame? or was it sadness? "Those were mine." He whispered. There was a long silence, as always between them in a moment of serious tension. She just looked up into his emerald green eyes, she knew he was about to shed tears, and she could feel her heart falling deeper within her chest. Even amongst his collection of evils and wrong doings, she was still incapable of watching him reduced to such a sorry state of dejection.
"Yours?" She asked in whisper, "But how... how could such dreadful bracelets accommodate such large wrists?"
His eyes closed once more. These were memories he did not wish to share. He didn't even wish to remember them himself. If he could destroy his mind, he would have done so long ago, but these demons would remain with him throughout the remnant of his life.
"You think I've lived here forever?" he asked, and she could just hear the suppressed ire in his slithering voice.
"I..." She began, but he did not give her a chance to conclude.
"This world is a cruel place, Kristen" His eyes met hers with quiet rage, whatever he was feeling, could only be displayed within his eyes. His stance, and demeanour, were the very image of tranquillity. "Could society accept a child with a face like this?" he pointed to his mask, and her brow instantly lifted in perturbation. The only words she could think were Poor Erik, as if she watched him from afar, rather than from where she stood. "My own mother wouldn't accept that I looked this way, and neither could my father." He slightly turned from her, and while staring at the wooden floor, he continued. "He eventually sold me to the gypsies, and their freak show. I was on display for many years before Madame Giry rescued me from that horrendous lifestyle. Have you ever eaten rotten food, Kristen?" he asked her, "Have you ever sat within a cage, like a dog, wearing these?" He grabbed the cuffs from her shaking hands and held them up so she could see them in clearer light. Quaking the metal binds within his palm, he resumed "While they cut holes in your skin? until the very insects of spoilage begin to rot through your flesh?"
She let out a single sob. With every word he spoke, his voice grew colder, harsher, and ghostly. He, in this way, was truly frightening. "Erik... it doesn't have to be this way, you're letting the past trouble you, even now... even now that it's all over and it will never return." Her voice betrayed her longing to cry. She gently took the bonds from his hand, and held them within her own, "Your shoulders are no longer the only ones which will endure these cruel reminiscences."
He shook his head, "Kristen, you don't know what you are saying. You're hopeful that you will save me from these thoughts and pasts, but never could anyone relieve me from such burdens."
She let the rusting cuffs fall to the floor, casting out a rather disturbing clank. She almost shed tears, the look in his eyes... so very hopeless, he was just so full of despair.
"No, it cannot continue this way." She looked passed this one shocking sight, only to view more of the same tortures. She covered her mouth as she saw the abhorrent tools which only a doctor would require... but Erik was not a doctor. Saws, knives, tubes, metal objects which could only cause unimaginable throe.
"Where did you get those..." Her voice was now the voice of harsh flame. Her eyes lit up with a mad anger towards these contraptions of hell, which were far beyond anything she could bring herself to understand.
He just knew this was the most foolish thing he'd ever done, letting her witness such horrors. "I, created them," he admitted slowly, "Many years ago, I was... under the command of a higher power..."
"Where?" She demanded.
"In Persia," He replied.
"Who was this power?"
"Kristen, calm down, you're beginning to worry me..."
"I'm worrying you? Erik, you have a shrine to the devil in here! and I'M WORRYING YOU?" Her voice carried through the dungeons, it's sharp volume nearly ruining his hearing.
"You wanted to know these things!" he countered, as she began to softly sob, and instantly he touched her face. She looked up at him, as tears streamed down her porcelain skin
"I'm so sorry Erik" She whispered, which totally caught him off guard. Sorry?
"For what?" he requested, honestly wondering why she would be penitent for anything right now.
"For not being able to apprehend these miserable things. All of this... Erik, I can't understand it, why you would keep such things here"
"Where else would I put them?"
"Why do you keep nostalgia of Christine Daee?" She asked, her sadness was evidently increased just then, her tears destroyed her fair complexion.
"I removed them from the lair. Until you came, they decorated my dwellings, like haunting spirits." He paused. "I was in love with her Kristen, I loved her. When you came... I couldn't keep them out there, not with you here... my Kristen." His thumb traced her jaw line, as she looked up into his eyes. "I never expected to see them again, but this stubborn young seductress tends to put light into every aspect of my life, including the darkness." The look in his eyes seemed to melt her wholly. How he could turn pure terror into absolute temptation amazed her.
"Did you ever... put anyone, in those... machines?" She asked. Suddenly sparked within her was an interest, as she draped her arms around his neck. This was insanity at it's finest, and there was nothing to keep her from falling into it completely. A large part of her loathed to hear the answer, but also dreaded not knowing. Danger, she thought, it was all so enticing. She didn't know what had come over her before, they were only machines... it wasn't like he was going to puther into any of those contrivances, she was completely safe from them.
"I thought about it..." he began, "But my creations were only that... my creations. I never actually victimized anyone, but my creations were used by others... to victimize."
"You never, not even once, wanted to use them?"
He quietly chuckled, "Wanting, and doing, are two different matters entirely." he told her. "Many times I have imagined impairing some of the fools who disgrace my theatre."
She let go of him, to carefully walk towards his laboratory of torment. Her heart rate dramatically increased as she looked over every single morbid instrument which filled the confines. Several of his notebooks were scattered about, and she was astonished to open one and see such... education. Diagrams, writings, and descriptions of the human anatomy.
"Erik, you are knowledgeable of all this?" She looked towards him. He watched her stand behind that dusty lab table, he seriously wondered about her. Just moment ago he feared she would break down completely, and now she was the most interested woman he'd ever laid his eyes on. He almost smiled,
"I have learned most of what I know from the Populaire's library, in fact... most of these books were stolen from there... that would include the candles, their holders, the shelves... the"
"Where did you get the coffin?" She asked. Now he gave her a weird eye, "You didn't dig up a grave, did you?" She asked. He was silent. This was all the evidence she needed. She walked back to him from around the table, "Erik... you disturb thedead so thatyou can rest in peace?" She asked, and laughed a nasty little laugh, "Why sleep in a coffin when you have that beautiful swan bed out there?" she asked.
"A coffin... is the only bed I deserve." he told her, and once again, all cheer was swept clean from the atmosphere surrounding them. He hated himself so much... still! after she had proven to him in more ways than one that he was loved.
"You slept in my bed with me though..." She pondered aloud.
He nodded, "There is not a thing I could deny you, Kristen" he told her, bringing a skilled hand back to her delicate features, and brushing her skin so softly.
She brought him to her in another warm embrace, and rested her head upon his chest, "Why did you conceal this past from me for so long?" She asked warmly, the comfort she felt in his arms was clearly articulated in her words.
"These are thing I am unwilling to let you brood over. It was my fate, not yours."
"Oh... Erik, you have to let me into your life," She said, her voice betraying her. She was completely sated within his hold.
He held her to him like she was the very life he was struggling to keep. She was his life, without her, he would be dead. If she hadn't fallen into his existence that day, he would not be alive now, he was sure of it. In all truth, she was the one who truly rescued him.
She felt his chest heave with inhalation, and she closed her eyes. "It can't be very comfortable in that... thing" She said, referring to the coffin, his resting place. She couldn't believe he would punish himself in such a way, but as she lifted her head to look at it, resting her head now on his shoulder, she couldn't help but feel the slightest attraction to it's profoundly morbid nature. He was like the vampire she used to read about in stories, he was mysterious, dangerous, and haunting. He was all of those things, but she knew that this was far from a story. She was not a mere character in a book. This was real, he was really there before her, and no story could explain this moment. She knew that she was clouding her inner fears by allowing his comfort, but it was him, Erik, her lover. She had to accept every unearthly feature along with every passion they shared.
"I love you Erik" She told him, breaking their embrace so that she could look into his eyes. She knew that he knew, but after seeing him in such anguish, returning to his past... she had to reassure him, no matter howsure he was.
"I know," he replied to her, "And I love you too, Kristen" He whispered sincerely.
"Will you do one thing for me Erik?" She then asked. He remained silent, and awaited her reply. He pretty much knew, with her persistent way of things, what she was going to ask.
"Will you take off that horrid mask?" She asked. He shook his head at her,
"You're impossible, Kristen!" he said, removing the plastic which concealed his hideous birth mark. She took it from his hands and tossed it over onto the table,
"Stop wearing it around me," she gently demanded, "It's more frightening than any part of you."
"I shall never understand your way of thinking" he told her, taking a strand of her hair within his fingers and softly following it to it's end.
"Perhaps we will never fully understand each other." She said, taking his lips with hers before he could even utter the slightest reply. His eyes closed, and his manner relented prominently. This was her power.
"This door will stay open," She told him, her lips still pressed to his somewhat as she spoke, her voice was little more than a whisper, "And tonight I'll sleep with you."
Upon hearing this, he broke their kiss completely, "In here?" He asked. She nodded.
"No Kristen, you will not sleep in here. This is no place for a woman of your excellence."
"It's no place for you either." she said, "It's obvious to me that you don't agree with me there... if you are with me... it will not be as if I am sleeping in a coffin."
"We will never fit in there, the both of us." he said. Anything to prevent her from falling into dreams in such a ghastly place as a coffin.
She smiled sweetly at him... something she rarely did, "I guess we'll just have to see for ourselves whether there is room enough or not."
"No." He said, "No... there's no way I'm letting you sleep in there, in here! this is no place for... you."
"For?" For a split second, she was almost happy. Her predictions, or more like wishes, was to hear him say, For my wife, but after that illusive moment, she knew those would not be his words. "You paused Erik, what was about to roll off your tongue before you caught yourself?" There was definitely something hidden there, within his words, and she now longed to know if she guessed correctly.
"Kristen, just listen to me. I cannot bear the thought of your sleeping in a place like this... this place of such sadness for me."
"You must erase that" She told him, and grabbed him by the sleeve of his shirt, and pulled him towards his deathly bed, "Get in" She ordered.
"Kristen... I"
He was silenced by that look in her eyes. The Phantom... threatened? He could have laughed to death at himself, but he actually obeyed her commands.
"There is no room for you here" he said.
Two seconds later she rested on top of him, smiling down at him. The lid was then closed, as if someone had pushed it shut, or perhaps her movement was a bit clumsy. Either way, they were concealed together in darkness.
"Well... isn't this wonderful" He stated sarcastically. Just as he began to move his hand towards the lid, to push it open, he felt her hand encircle his wrist, and stop him.
"Shhhhh." She whispered, her index finger gently pressing against his lips. "Itis wonderful." She began to kiss him softly, falling into him completely. All of these terrifying things, including this very coffin, were truly frightening, but not unendurable. She decided she had to accept the terror, because there was no other choice. She had no other choice, but to live within this strange world of darkness, and be home in this glorious fate. She couldn't leave Erik in such emptiness now, thiswas her home.
