Special Effect
"Josh, I'm so bored."
"So am I."
"What should we do?"
Josh thinks about what he and Derek should do next.
"You want to watch some more porn?"
"Dude, we've watched every freaking porn there is known to man."
"Then why don't we watch gay porn?"
Derek gets up.
"Ewe you're kidding right? Tell me you're kidding. Sometimes you really piss me off and gross me out you know that, Josh!"
"I was kidding sorry."
"I'm going to go check the mail."
Derek goes downstairs to check the mail. He takes the mail, looks at it, and smiles.
Derek runs back up.
"Hey man I found something we can do!"
Derek shows him the magazine he got.
"Awesome. I didn't know you get Playboy."
"No it's not Playboy its Fangoria."
"You'd rather look at violence and decapitation then titties!"
"Yeah, since I don't want to be stuck here with you watching Brokeback Mountain."
Derek and Josh look through the magazine.
"Oh sweet The Woods is coming to the US soon."
"Awesome Saw III trailer coming out soon"
"Derek, this is more boring then when we were just sitting around 'cause now we have to sit around…and read…I thought when we got out of school we wouldn't have to read books anymore!"
"Look Josh something's going to be in this magazine that can change our…"
Derek finds something in the magazine.
"What? Change our what?"
"…Lives. Dude look at what I just found."
"Oh I hope it's some naked chick."
"No. It's…"
"It's a contest?"
"Dude… we're 14…and to enter it you've got to be 14."
"Alright then what's the prize?"
"250,000 dollars and Box-Office income!"
"What?"
Josh reads the magazine and the ad.
"Josh, you and me wanted to direct and write all of our lives…we've been wanting to become the next…Tarantino and Rodriguez, The Wachowski Brothers, the next Matt Damon and Ben Affleck!"
"Well that is true…except for the Ben Affleck part."
"Come on dude, I can cast townies and get supplies while you sit here and think something up."
"Alright, fine."
"Yes man I knew you could do it!"
Derek goes out looking for supplies while Josh stays at the house to think of an idea.
"Excuse me, sir?"
"Miss?"
"Hello?"
"Can I get a moment of your…"
"Oh fuck it."
Derek can't get one townie's attention.
Derek calls Josh.
(On Phone)
(Derek) "Hey man how's the idea coming?"
(Josh) "Perfect, I've come up with goriest, sickest, scariest movie ever made.
(Derek) "And I'm sure there's a sex scene somewhere there. Listen man you're going to have to do some extra work."
(Josh) "Like?"
(Derek) "Ok make flyers and book us for using the movie studio in town."
(Josh) "Got it. How's the equipment coming?"
(Derek) "I'm about to take care of that now.
Derek hangs up.
Derek buys the supplies.
Derek picks up the flyers from Josh and posts them around town.
Derek goes back home and sleeps.
(Derek) "Yo Josh wake up man there's auditions today."
(Josh) "Ugh fine."
Derek and Josh get up and brush their teeth.
They eat breakfast.
They head to the studio for auditions.
The first man for auditions is a skinny man who looks dirty.
Derek and Josh begin the interview.
(Derek) "Umm do you have any experience in acting?"
(Man) "Umm no not really."
(Derek) "Umm then try to read us some of these lines."
Derek hands the man part of the un-finished script.
(Man) "Ok so I have to read this?"
(Josh) "Yeah"
The man looks through the script.
(Man) "Ok I don't want to read that part. That part's no good. I don't understand this part. Oh, looks like I can't read your script."
(Derek) "I hope you don't mind me asking, but, why the hell are you even here?"
(Man) "I don't know I just followed this flyer."
(Derek) "Let me see the flyer."
Derek looks at the flyer he hanged up.
(Josh) "Dude you never looked at the flyers?"
(Derek) "No."
(Man) "The flyer had some word with an A in it but I really only came here 'cause it said it'd have tittes and beer served for free."
(Derek) "You put that, Josh"
(Josh) "Umm…yes?"
(Derek) "I'm sorry sir auditions are closed."
(Man) "Oh ok but can I have my titties and beer first?"
(Derek) "There is none"
(Man) "Oh…bummer"
Derek and Josh walk back to Derek's house.
(Derek) "Ok you know what to do."
(Josh) "Yup, write new flyers ASAP."
(Derek) "Exactly and I'm going to work on the script in the computer room."
Derek heads for the computer room and is stopped by his short 11 year old neighbor Timmy.
(Timmy) "Hold it right there douche bag."
(Derek) "Timmy? Where the hell did your parents go now?"
(Timmy) "San Diego, they said they're going to meet up with your Mom and Dad."
(Derek sarcastically) "Yay."
(Timmy) "So what are we up to?"
(Derek) "Nothing"
(Josh screams into hall) "Hey Josh I finished the movie flyers for the movie, you know the movie, the movie we've been working on."
Derek sighs.
(Timmy) "Doesn't seem like nothing to me."
(Derek) "It is nothing…nothing involving you Timmy."
(Timmy) "Please Josh, Please! I'm not leaving, you're supposed to baby-sit."
(Derek) "Ok how would you like to stay home alone in your house?"
(Timmy) "I would LOVE that!"
(Derek) "Well here's 20 bucks now get your ass back home, don't tell anyone where you are, and leave us the fuck alone, k?"
(Timmy) "Got it."
Timmy leaves.
Derek and Josh hang up the flyers and finish the script.
The next day…
Derek hears his doorbell ring.
Derek opens the door and it's a bunch of people.
(Derek) "What the fuck is this?"
(Gay man in crowd) "My name is Juan and me and the rest of us are here to audition for the movie!"
(Derek) "Oh ok."
Josh sees the people.
(Josh) "Damn."
Josh and Derek go through auditions and end up with a main cast.
(Derek to crowd of people) "Ok people the first day of shooting begins tomorrow"
(Derek to Josh) "This is going by faster then I expected."
(Timmy) "True that."
Derek and Josh are startled.
(Josh) "What the hell is Frodo doing here?"
(Timmy) "My house isn't fun. I'm going to stay with you and make the movie! Yay."
(Derek) "Ok then give me my money back!"
(Timmy) "I spent it on a DVD, sorry."
Derek looks angry.
The next day the shoot begins at night time.
The shoot goes by fast and they get a lot of scenes done.
(Derek) "Josh…what happens if we do win?"
(Timmy) "Yeah Josh what would happen?"
(Josh) "I honestly don't know."
They all go to sleep.
The next night they run into problems because they cannot shoot their first big Monster scene.
(Derek) "Shit we don't have make-up. Umm Josh go into town and find make-up."
(Josh) "Dude we're all out of money!"
(Timmy) "Yeah! And what are you going to do with me?"
(Derek) "Josh, find some FREE make-up and take Timmy with you."
(Josh) "WHAT? Dude the parade is today there's going to be so much people and it's going to be really hard to find."
(Derek) "Well make sure you do and make sure Timmy is kept safe."
(Timmy) "Yay I get to go with Josh!"
(Josh) "Yeah shut your fucking mouth kid."
Josh and Timmy go out into town and look around but can't find any.
They go to an alley to rest.
(Josh) "Man there's nothing"
(Timmy) "This blows."
A creepy man comes up to them.
(Creepy Man) "What are you buying?"
(Josh) "What?"
(Creepy Man) "What are you selling?"
(Josh) "Oh we need some make-up…for free…please."
(Creepy Man) "Free make-up? A lot?"
(Josh) "Enough for A LOT of people."
(Creepy Man) "Well I happen to have some right here."
The Creepy Man pulls out a big box and gives it to them.
(Josh) "WOW thanks man! This for free?"
(Creepy Man) "Completely"
Josh and Timmy run back to the studio.
(Creepy Man) "Come back anytime."
The creepy man does an evil laugh.
(Back at Studio)
(Josh) "We got the make-up Derek. We got it!"
(Derek) "Alright!"
It's getting late and the make-up is just about to be finished as midnight is about to hit.
(Make up artist) "There. You're all done. A Perfect zombie."
(Guy) "Thanks. Wow I look good."
(Make up artists laughs)
(Make Up Artist) "Yeah you do."
The guy gets up and walks away as a zombie.
Midnight hits.
(Make Up) "Who's next?"
A zombie girl comes walking up.
(Make Up) "Oh Jennifer I fixed you up already."
The girl bites the Make up Artist and the screams rings throughout the whole studio.
(Derek) "Wow that was nice."
(Timmy) "That actually sounded real."
(Josh) "Maybe it was real."
(Derek) "What did you just say?"
A man comes running out saying that the make-up is turning the actors into real monsters.
A monster locks the gates to the studio.
A night of terror is about to begin…
Derek, Josh, and Timmy run to see what's going on and they see monsters running amok.
(Derek) "Oh shit."
(Josh) "Derek, you're the horror movie expert what do we do?"
Derek thinks.
(Derek) "Umm we…umm…GET WEAPONS!"
(Timmy) "Sweet."
Derek, Timmy, and Josh run into Juan, Christy, TJ, and Lucy along the way.
They all go into the props are to get weapons.
(Derek) "Ok whatever you can find to kill these bitches you use, got it?"
(Timmy) "But what about the werewolves?"
(Derek) "What about them?"
(Josh) "Silver Bullets, dude, remember!"
(Derek) "Oh shit that's right? Well try to avoid them!"
The 7 of them get supplies.
Derek gets a baseball bat.
Josh gets a crowbar.
Timmy gets a baseball bat.
Juan gets a hammer.
Christy gets a fire extinguisher.
TJ gets a pipe.
Lucy gets a hockey stick.
(Derek) "You guys ready?"
(Rest of the group) "Yeah!"
They go out and attempt to fight the killable.
(Josh) "Holy shit, look at Gary."
Derek looks at the vampire Gary.
(Derek laughs and talks) "Holy crap."
The gang fights through most of the zombies and eventually picks up guns and batons from fallen cops.
They run into their first werewolf.
(Timmy) "Oh shit."
(TJ) "What do we do Derek?"
(Lucy) "I'm scared."
(Juan) "Honey I'm scared with you."
(Christy) "Don't be such pussies we can take this bitch."
(Josh sarcastically) "Sure."
(Derek) "Guys quit your bitching we got to think!"
The gang hides and thinks.
(Derek) "I got it!"
(Juan) "What do we do?"
(Derek) "We escape this fucking studio first then we get the silver bullets and even more guns.
(Christy) "How are we going to get through the monsters?"
They look and the monsters are breaking down through the gates.
(Derek) "We wait and hope they don't see us?"
(TJ) "But what about
the town?"
(Derek) "Oh shit that's right. Well we could only
hope no one gets hurt."
The group waits and then gets up and enters the town and sees corpses everywhere.
(Josh mocking Derek) "We could only hope, right Derek?"
The gang goes into a hardware store and packs up guns and bullets.
TJ is looking around and spots something move.
(TJ) "Hey guys I think I saw something here."
TJ looks over the counter and behind him there is a vampire when he gets up.
The vampire bites his hand then his neck.
TJ screams and the gang runs to his aid.
(Derek) "TJ!"
Derek shoots the vampire with the shotgun and the vampire dies.
(Josh) "You alright man?"
(TJ) "I'm going to turn into one of them soon. Leave now!"
Timmy is attempting to get weapons but Josh stops him.
(Josh) "Hell no little boy. You'll probably shoot some fucker's eye out."
(Timmy) "What? Fine! But I can kill these bitches just as better as you can."
Josh laughs.
(Josh) "I doubt that."
The gang goes out of the hardware store and raids the town killing away.
(Juan) "What exactly are we looking for anyway?"
(Derek) "Survivors"
(Josh) "Hey look at this guys."
Josh points to the high school/elementary school.
(Josh) "I hear shit coming from there. We got to save those people now!"
The gang runs into the school.
(Derek) "Hello! Is anyone here?"
(Josh) "Dude you're calling out the monsters."
(Derek) "I know that."
They hear the cry of a monster.
(Derek) "Ok everyone get ready."
(Timmy) "Shit what the hell am I supposed to do I have no gun?"
(Josh) "Hide!"
An Alien comes.
(Derek) "I don't remember an alien in the movie."
The gang beats down the alien with their guns.
(Derek) "Wow they're easy to kill"
(Christy) "Hell yeah."
(Lucy) "Guys… look!"
She points to bats flying into the school.
The bats turn into vampires.
(Derek) "Oh shit"
They kill some of the vampires but more keep coming. They continue to fight them off.
(Lucy) "Die vamp!"
Lucy sees one of the vampires is her boyfriend.
(Lucy) "Honey?"
(Vampire) "Lucy my dear…come over here."
(Lucy) "Ok."
(Derek) "Lucy, No!"
Lucy drops her shotgun and walks into the arms of the vampire.
They kiss but then the vampire bites her.
Lucy screams in pain.
The gang attempts to kill the vamp but they can't as the vamp dodges bullets.
Lucy turns into a vamp.
(Juan) "Oh shit!"
Vampire Lucy grabs Juan.
The gang hears a gun-shot.
The gang hears another gun-shot.
The gang looks and both Vampire Lucy and her Vampire Boyfriend are dead.
Timmy is shown holding the shotgun.
Timmy cocks the gun.
(Timmy) "I told you."
(Josh smiles and laughs)
The gang continues throughout the school.
They see blood-soaked rooms.
They hear a voice on the loud-speaker.
(Over Loud Speaker)
(Voice) "Will a gang of 5 kids please report to the principal's office, now?"
(Derek) "Probably another vamp. Zombies can groan and werewolves can't talk at all."
(Christy) "Well should we go?"
(Derek) "Maybe we should…to kill it."
The gang walks over to the principal's office.
Timmy looks into the Detention Room.
(Timmy laughs and talks) "It looks like the freaking Breakfast Club in here."
Timmy laughs.
He turns around and is tackles by an alien.
He is tackles and falls through the staircase and onto a table.
(Josh) "Timmy!"
Josh runs to the detention room and sees him knocked out.
The alien attacks Josh from behind and throws him into the book-shelf.
The rest of the gang run in.
(Juan) "Oh my god."
The alien is hit from behind with books and a wooden stick by Josh.
The alien is not affected by it.
(Josh) "Fuck."
The alien slaps Josh and Josh flies into a wall.
The gang attempts to shoot it but the alien tackles them and the gang is separated from their guns.
Timmy gets up and grabs his gun.
Timmy shoots the alien but the Alien just throws Timmy into Josh.
Juan grabs an axe and cuts of half of the alien's head.
Juan then stabs the alien with the axe in the stomach.
The alien dies.
(Derek) "Holy crap, Juan"
Timmy and Josh gets up and the rest of the gang head to the principal's office.
They get there.
(Juan) "Hello anybody here?"
(Christy) "Hello…?"
A shadow approaches.
It's the principal of the school.
(Derek) "Principal Parks!"
The principal's head falls off and blood splatters everywhere.
(Christy) "Oh my god!"
The vampire comes and grabs Juan.
(Juan) "Help."
Christy takes a rifle and shoots the bat.
Juan falls to the ground with the vampire.
Christy runs to Juan.
(Christy) "Juan!"
(Juan) "Chrissy baby, is that you?"
(Christy) "Yup its me Juan."
The vampire comes and smacks Christy.
Christy flies into the school steps.
The vampire grabs Juan.
(Vampire) "I am Dracula and this man, woman, transvestite, whatever this person is, he or she shall become one of my followers.
(Juan) "What did you just call me Crackula?"
(Dracula) "What did YOU call ME?"
Juan grabs a stake and nails Dracula in the head with it.
Dracula screams.
Dracula pulls the stake out of his head.
(Dracula) "Stake through the heart is how you kill a vamp, not head!"
Dracula throws the stake at Juan and it hits him right in his heart.
(The Group) "Juan!"
The group watches in horror as Juan falls to the ground and Dracula flies away.
(Dracula) "I'll see you later if you survive this."
(Timmy) "What? Survive what?"
Dracula flies away.
Timmy looks and sees Zombies.
(Timmy) "Guys."
(Juan) "Watch…"
(Timmy) "Guys!"
(Juan) "Out for…"
(Timmy) "Guys come on Guys!"
(Juan) "The…"
(Timmy screams) "Zombies!"
The group weeps as Juan dies.
The group looks at the zombies.
We got to get in the school.
The gang runs in the school and shelters the walls.
(Josh) "They're going to get in. We can't shelter everywhere."
(Derek) "I know. But we'll survive. For Juan."
Josh smiles.
(Timmy) "Here they come!"
The zombies break through some of the barricades and the gang fights them off.
(Timmy) "That's it!"
Timmy garbs a chainsaw.
(Josh) "Hey I want to use that!"
(Timmy) "Fine! Rock, Paper, Scissors!"
(Derek) "We could use some help here!"
Timmy beats Josh in the first round.
Josh beats Timmy in the 2nd.
Timmy wins the game.
(Josh) "Shit. Lucky son of a bitch. I'll use it when it counts."
(Timmy laughs)
(Timmy mocking Josh) "I doubt it."
(Christy) "Guys hurry!"
Timmy comes in with a chainsaw and chainsaws up the zombies
Blood splatters everywhere.
(Timmy while killing zombies with chainsaw) "Hey look at Josh and his little wannabe chainsaw screw-gun."
(Josh) "Fuck you!"
The gang kills most of the zombies and manages to escape unharmed.
The gang finds a note from Dracula saying that he would come in 1 hour for the final battle.
(Derek) "OK what do we do now?"
(Josh) "We have to find a way to solve this. We need to find the merchant that sold us this."
(Christy) "Wow Josh that was fast."
(Josh) "Thanks"
(Timmy) "He was in that alley-way."
The gang walks into the alley-way Timmy points into.
(Derek) "Where is he?"
(Creepy Man) "Here!"
The man startles everyone.
(Josh) "Look here you RE4 Shop Merchant wannabe! You sold us this make-up and now everything it touches turns into what it's supposed to be and now the whole town maybe dead!"
(Merchant) "Isn't that what you wanted?"
(Timmy) "Fuck no!"
(Josh) "Tell us how to solve it right now!"
(Merchant) "Ok. There's a way to solve it but it's going to be hard. You either kill everyone or just spray them with this big batch of anti-make-up."
(Derek) "How are we going to do that and kill all these guys?"
The Merchant points to the fire hydrant.
The gang smiles.
The gang gets ready and an hour passes.
They have guns, ammo, a fire-truck jacked up with weapons, and other survivors.
(Derek talking about Truck) "I can't believe you can do this that quick, Merchant!"
(Merchant) "I was offered a job at West Coast Customs one day."
(Derek) "Why didn't you take it?"
(Merchant) "'Cause I knew Pimp My Ride would suck dick."
Merchant walks away.
(Derek) "What's wrong with Pimp My Ride?"
Dracula and his Army comes.
(Dracula) "Usually we would do some speech before we fight but LETS JUST BATTLE!"
The gang goes to war.
The Merchant begins to fill the fire hydrant up with the anti-make up.
(Timmy) "Oh shit werewolves!"
(Christy) "What are you whining about, kid?"
Christy shoots werewolf down with silver bullet.
(Christy) "It's easy."
Christy walks away.
(Timmy) "Damn!"
The gang is beginning to win the war but an explosion erupts.
Dracula has planted a bomb and it's taken out half of the group's army.
(Josh) "When the hell could Dracula over here plant bombs?"
The anti- make up is splattered everywhere.
(Derek) "Shit the anti!"
(Christy) "What are we going to do now!"
Timmy fires what they have from the anti make up onto the monsters.
(Timmy) "Make the best of it that's what!"
Josh looks as a vampire is about to bite Josh.
(Josh) "Oh shit."
Josh runs up and slices the vamp in half with the chainsaw.
(Josh) "Now we're even."
(Timmy smiles)
The aliens, zombies, werewolves, and vampires are rocking the truck.
(Timmy) "Oh shit"
Timmy falls off of the truck.
Dracula grabs him.
Derek tries to shoot the anti but they're out.
Josh tries to save Timmy.
(Josh) "Timmy!"
(Dracula) "This little warrior will be part of my army!"
(Derek) "Timmy!"
Timmy kicks Dracula in the nuts and runs away.
(Josh) "Alright Timmy!"
(Dracula) "I will take someone!"
Dracula flies up.
(Derek) "Where the hell is the merchant?"
Christy is fighting a zombie and an alien.
Christy kills the alien.
(Christy) "Die zombie!"
Christy stabs the zombie.
Dracula flies behind Christy.
Christy turns around.
(Christy) "Oh shit."
Dracula hits Christy and she goes flying.
(Derek) "Christy! Get away from her you fucker!"
(Dracula) "Fuck you I'll do what I want!"
Christy stabs Dracula in the leg.
(Dracula) "You bitch!"
Dracula bites Christy.
(Derek) "No!"
The merchant comes in.
(Merchant) "I've got the anti!"
(Josh) "What the fuck took you so long?"
Josh starts loading it.
Derek grabs a knife and runs at Dracula.
(Dracula) "You'll never kill me!"
Dracula pushes Derek and he hits the truck.
Dracula sees Josh and orders a zombie to go after him.
The Zombie comes after Josh.
(Timmy) "Josh look out!"
Josh turns around and is bit by the zombie.
Josh pushes the zombie off and kills it.
(Timmy) "Josh! Man are you alright?"
(Josh) "Do I look alright?"
Derek wakes up and sees Josh.
(Derek) "No, no, no Josh! Josh man are you ok?"
Derek starts crying.
The Merchant comes to their aid.
(Merchant) "I'm afraid I don't have anything for a zombie bite."
(Josh) "That's ok."
Josh gets up.
(Josh) "I'll go down fighting!"
(Dracula) "What is this a fucking drama? Men! Kill them now!"
Derek looks and sees that Christy's body isn't where it used to be.
He walks over and is jumped from behind by Vampire Christy.
The Merchant is done uploading the anti.
(Merchant) "My work here is done!"
The Merchant walks off.
Meanwhile, Derek is fighting off Vampire Christy.
Derek pushes her down.
(Derek) "Sorry Christy."
Derek throws a stake into the heart of Christy.
Vampire Christy dies.
Timmy starts up the anti and Josh sets up a suicide bomb.
(Josh) "Peace out man."
(Timmy) "Peace."
(Derek) "See ya man."
(Josh) "I love you man."
Josh and Derek hug.
Timmy starts up the anti.
(Dracula) "The anti won't work on me! I am the leader!
(Josh) "Well will this work on you?"
Dracula turns around and Josh is behind him and Josh sets off the suicide bomb.
Tears fall from Derek and Timmy's eyes.
(Timmy) "Shit we're all out!"
(Derek) "Fuck! Merchant isn't even here!"
(Timmy and Derek) "We're screwed."
Army and Police cars pull up and kill off the monsters.
(Cop shooting at werewolf) "Come on die fucker!"
(Derek and Timmy) "Silver Bullet!"
They throw the cop the silver bullet.
The cop kills the werewolf.
Derek and Timmy give the cop a thumbs up.
The next day…
The officers are examining the scene of the final battle.
(Officer) "They said that there was a man who had some shady objects."
(Cop) "Drugs?"
(Officer) "I wouldn't call it that."
Officer sees 3 Kids playing around.
(Officer) "Hey kids this is a crime scene get out!"
(Kid) "Sorry we didn't know!"
The kids ride off in bikes.
They stop to talk to each other.
(Kid) "Hey man did you get the masks?"
The other kid pulls out masks of creatures and shows it to them.
(3rd Kid) "Fuck yeah!"
THE END
