A/N: I should be rereading Hamlet for tomorrow's Shakespeare's midterm, but well, I feel too lazy to do that… A deadly combination of another hectic week and a slight writers' block in the end of this chapter is the cause for another late update, sorry about that you guys. Let me know what you think! Have a good weekend everyone!


Chapter 10

"Mark?"

She walked into the living room, only to find it deserted. Mark was nowhere to be seen. She had just put Libby to bed, and left the room after she made sure the girl was fast asleep. He wasn't in their bedroom, because she passed through there after leaving Libby's room. The kitchen area was dark, and the sliding door to the balcony was closed and locked. She glanced at her watch. Benny and Allison were supposed to get there in less than half an hour.

Then she heard muffled voices from Mark's study and headed there. He was on the phone. She knocked lightly on the door and peeked inside. He turned in his chair and flashed her a smile, but she could tell it wasn't real. And he was kind of distracted at dinner earlier, too. Something was bothering him.

"-sure, I'll call tomorrow. Call me if you need anything, okay? Alright. Bye, good night." He hung up with a sigh.

"What happened?" she asked, walking into the room. She loved that room. It was warm and cozy, and it always gave her this feeling, like going back home. It kind of reminded her of her father's study in Jersey, only her father never had so many video tapes and old film reels in a carton box. She took a seat on the sofa that was along one wall and watched Mark as he got up and went over to sit next to her.

"There's this guy in Life. He recently moved to New York. We kind of became friends. I'm worried about him."

"Why?" she asked, taking his hand. Her finger traced the lines along the inner side of his palm.

"He's HIV+. He seemed to be okay for a while, but in our meeting three days ago he complained that he wasn't feeling well. And then he didn't show up to the meeting today and I thought…" his voice trailed off and he looked away. Then he took a deep breath and looked at her again. His expression broke her heart. "It was the same nightmare all over again."

She nodded. She understood. They've lost so many friends for AIDS already. She could only imagine how it felt for him, watching all of them go, one by one. "Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he just had to stay longer at work and missed the meeting. But you know, for a second I thought he was…" his voice trailed off again. He looked so upset. She knew he was thinking about Collins and Roger. Sometimes she wondered how it was like in their last days, but she never dared asking. She sensed it was an open wound still. It would take some time for it to heal. Hell lot of time. "Anyway, I just had to call and make sure he was okay."

She nodded. "Are you all set for that benefit?"

"Yeah, pretty much. Is it really okay with your mom and dad to take Libby?"

"Mom said that it was. My dad is all excited," she smiled. The plan was that her parents would come to New York for a day or two the following week, and take Libby to spend the weekend with them in Jersey. That way they wouldn't have to worry about finding her a babysitter when they went to the Life event. She raised her head to face Mark. He still looked kind of distracted. She squeezed his hand gently. "Hey… stop it. I'm sure he's gonna be okay."

He nodded, but she could tell that he didn't mean it. "I wish you could meet him. He's such a great guy."

"I will, next Saturday," she smiled. "Now come on. Smile. Benny and Muffy should be here any second," she said with a note of humor in her voice.

"Allison, Maureen," he corrected, a shadow of a smile definitely visible beneath his frown.

"I'll try to keep it in mind when they'd get here," she said, just as the doorbell rang.


It was kind of strange in the first half an hour. Mark and Benny started talking almost immediately. She joined their conversation every now and again, but Allison remained quiet. She looked hesitant when she and Benny walked into the apartment, but both her and Mark were doing their best to be nice to her, to make her feel comfortable. They decided that if Benny could stay with her for all this time, there was something about her they probably missed back then.

She seemed to be very unsure about all that. She sat on the sofa next to Benny as he talked about his currents work, and looked around her, as if trying to figure out if coming there was right. She looked distant and distracted. Then Mark asked her something, as if he sensed her hesitations as well. Her tone wasn't cold or snobbish or anything when she answered him. She was amazed when she realized that Allison sounded kind of scared.

They seemed to be getting along pretty good, Benny and her. She was sitting on an armchair across from them and noticed how Benny took Allison's hand absent-mindedly and laced his fingers with hers as he talked. There was something really sweet and intimate about this gesture, something that was so un-Benny like, but still sweet. She turned her gaze away, suddenly embarrassed because it was obviously not meant for her eyes. Her gaze shifted towards Mark, who was laughing at something Benny was saying. He looked better, less upset than an hour ago. She hoped everything would work out for his friend.

"So did you two set a date yet?" asked Benny.

"We keep changing it," laughed Mark. "But probably April."

Benny shook his head. "This is so surreal. Can you imagine what Collins would have said?"

"He would have said he knew all along," she said with a small, sad smile. She missed Collins so much.

Benny nodded. "Yeah, he would probably-"

"Mommy?"

She looked away from Benny to see Libby, walking slowly into the living room. From the corner of her eye she noticed Allison, who looked at Libby as well. In an instant, her features softened. It was amazing; like sort of a magic. She looked transfixed.

"What is it, Munchkin? Did you have a bad dream?"

"Yes. Someone under the bed," said Libby, clutching her teddy-bear to her chest.

Mark smiled. "So we'd better go and tell him to go away," he said, getting up. "I'll be right back," he said as he picked Libby up and disappeared in the hallway.

They sat in silence, and then suddenly, Allison turned to look at her. "She's adorable," she said softly.

There was something in her expression… she couldn't quite place it, but it was definitely there. Pain? Loss? She wasn't sure. She smiled anyway, pretending she didn't notice it. She was sure of one thing. It wasn't meant for her to notice. "Thank you."

"How old is she?"

"She just turned 5." She didn't tell Benny anything when they met in the park, when he assumed quite naturally that Libby was Mark's. It didn't seem right to tell them the whole story at the moment. So instead, she smiled and said, "You should come over with your kids someday; it looked like they got along pretty well in the park."

"Yeah, they did," smiled Benny.

Mark reentered the room. "The crisis is over," he smiled and sat back down.

"So you're getting two at the price of one, huh?" Benny asked Mark, who laughed.

"Yeah, something like that."

"If she's anything like her mother, you're in big trouble."

She frowned. Same old Benny. "Thank you, Benny." She looked at Allison. Her features seemed softer now; she looked calmed, as if Libby's appearance somehow managed to break the ice. "How old are your kids?"

"Ben is 9 and Scott is 6."

"Ben as in Benjamin Coffin the Forth?" she asked, rolling her eyes jokingly.

Allison laughed and nodded. "Couldn't stop him," she said, looking at Benny, who shrugged.

"What, it's a family tradition," he said defensively. They all laughed. This time, Allison joined them.


Another week started and ended before she had a chance to blink. It was finally Thursday, and she was already late for meeting her mother. They were supposed to go dress-hunting. Ugh. She hated the idea. Usually she loved shopping, especially with her mom, but the thought of looking for the perfect wedding gown made her nervous. So far, in every magazine and catalogue her mother sent her, she couldn't find anything she really liked.

She called Mark and made sure he remembered he had to pick up Libby from daycare, and then she left her office, feeling like a school-girl that skipped the last class. It was the first time she allowed herself to take the afternoon off. It was 1PM when she went out of the building, and the City seemed to be more packed than it usually was. She made her way to the hotel her parents were staying at. They got to town several hours ago, and she was looking forward to spending the next two days with them.

Her mother was waiting for her in the lobby. She smiled as she noticed her sitting there, elegant as ever. Ever since she was a little girl, she adored her mother's style. This was why she decided to do this dress-hunt with her mom, and not with anyone else.

"Mom, hey," she smiled as the older woman got up and walked over to her.

"Hello, darling," said her mother, giving her a hug. Then she stepped back to observe her more closely. Her eyebrows knotted together. Oh-uh. She knew what was coming next. "Mark doesn't feed you, I presume?" she asked lightly, as if to pretend it didn't bother her. Her expression was serious though.

She laughed. "I lost some weight. Mark feeds me well enough to get it back. It's just stress, I'm okay." She never told her parents about her breakdown at San Francisco. She thought that they were better off without knowing all that.

Her mother still looked suspicious though. "Alright… you know what I think about you losing weight though."

She shook her head. "Mom, it's nothing like that, I promise. Are you ready to go?"

"I am. I made a list of some places I know. We can start there," she said, taking a small note out of her purse. So damn organized, she thought smiling. She knew she could trust her mother.

"Oh, how's dad doing?" she asked as they left the hotel, back to the afternoon chill.

"He's resting. I left him your address and he'll meet us there for dinner." The plan was that her parents would join them for dinner that day. Mark had an evening off so he said he'd do the cooking so that she could go with her mom uninterrupted.


They spent hours going from shop to shop, following her mother's list. They were looking through thousands of catalogues and she tried on about dozen dresses, yet they came out with nothing. Nothing seemed to fit. Just as she expected, it wasn't fun at all. But she was grateful to have her mother's support. Without her, she would easily give up. They decided to take a break and headed for a small café nearby.

"So, are you excited?" her mother asked, smiling, once they got their coffee.

She laughed. "I don't think I have time to get excited."

"Mark is. I could see it that evening when we came to visit you."

She looked at her mother seriously. The conversation with Mark's mother couple of weeks before left her kind of insecure. She knew she was being silly, but she just had to ask it. She had to make sure once again that they were not making a terrible mistake. "Is it really okay with you guys? This whole wedding thing?"

The question seemed to have caught her mother by surprise. She hesitated, and then asked seriously, "You love him, don't you?"

"Of course I do."

"And you want to marry him. So why wouldn't we be okay with it?"

"It's just that…" God, how could she tell her everything about Mark's mom? "There are other people who are… less supportive."

"Like Mark's parents?"

She stared at her mother speechless. She didn't say a word about his mom yet; how could her mother possibly know? She sighed. "Mark's father is no longer in the picture, he passed away. It's his mom who has some problems with us. With me."

"She always had, isn't that right? I remember you mentioned it when you met his parents."

"She did, but I kind of thought she'd get over it by now. I mean it's been over 10 years. People change. And I hate being the one who keeps Mark away from his family. I don't wanna be the bad one."

"I don't see a reason you'll have to be the bad one. Did you try and talk to her yourself?"

She shook her head. It was still kind of painful. "That wasn't pretty. It's even worse than what it was back then… because of Libby."

She didn't say more, but her mother seemed to understand. "She doesn't know about you're being divorced?"

"No, I don't think Mark had a chance to tell her. As I understood, she thinks Libby was an accident. She said that she was my punishment."

Her mother shook her head sorrowfully. She knew how much her little girl meant to her, what she went through to have her. Libby was everything but her punishment. "Oh, Maureen-"

"That's okay. I don't care about her. It just bugs me because it was so important to Mark that she'd accept us. He didn't want to do all this without her consent."

"And what does he want to do now?"

"I won't force this marriage on him, if that's what you're implying, Mom."

"Oh, darling, of course not. This is not what I meant. It's just…" Her mother hesitated, but then said, "Your father and I are just worried about you, after what happened… well, before." Her mother could never bring herself to say his name again after he walked out of their life for good. They were always over-protective, but it seemed to intensify after she signed the divorce papers, and later even more, when she had Libby. "I just want to make sure this time will work better, for both Libby and you."

"I think it will. I know it will." She smiled. They already set an appointment with Mark's lawyer so haste the procedure of adoption. There wasn't a lot to do, actually. Libby's biological father was out of the picture, so her signature was basically all they needed. "We're signing the adoption papers next week."

Her mother's eyes grew big. She didn't have a chance to tell them yet. Everything happened so fast. "What adoption papers?"

"Mark wants to adopt Libby. I guess that answers your question whether or not it'll work better."

"We'll see." Her mother sipped her coffee, and then sighed. "So what are we going to do about this dress?"

"Why can't I just wear jeans and get it over with?"

"Maureen Lorna Johnson, you will not walk down the aisle in jeans," said her mother sternly. "We'll find a dress. I can promise you that."


She couldn't believe how fast her mother's promise was fulfilled. They found a dress in the next shop they went into. She didn't really like it in the catalogue they were first looking at, but her mother insisted. And now, staring at her reflection in the mirror, she understood why. She couldn't believe it was her wearing it. It was as if the dress was made for her. It was beautiful beyond words.

She was alone in the dressing room. Her mother was somewhat disappointed when she asked her to wait outside, but she felt that this was something she had to do on her own first. The room was fairly big, and all the walls were covered with mirrors so her image was reflected back at her from every possible direction. She just stood there, watching herself, thinking how different it was from the first time. Since she lived so far away when she first married, her parents weren't involved with all the preparations. They flew to San Francisco several days before the wedding and that was that. But now… she smiled as she messed with the dress' full skirt, turning around just to feel how it swished around along with her. This was so different. And it would be different. There would be no mistakes this time.

"Maureen?" She turned, startled, at the sound of her mother's voice. She was standing in the entrance to the dressing room, and gasped as she caught sight of her. "Oh my God. You look beautiful."

"Thanks, Mom," she smiled, suddenly shy.

The lady who helped them with the catalogues suddenly appeared from behind her mother's shoulder. "Aw, look at you. The prettiest bride I had here today. This dress looks perfect on you." Weird. She didn't sound as phony as those sale-ladies always sounded. She sounded as if she really meant it.

"So what do you think? Are we taking it?" her mother asked.

"I think…" she laughed nervously. It suddenly dawned on her what it all meant. She and Mark were about to get married. "I think I'm beginning to get excited about this wedding."

Her mother laughed. "As you should. Congratulations, darling," she added, kissing her cheek and giving her a hug. When she pulled away, she had that practical expression on. "Now that we solved this crisis, let's move on to plan B."

"I didn't know that we had a plan B."

"Of course we had. We need to find a dress for Libby as well."

She groaned jokingly. "Oh no, here we go again…" She looked at her reflection once more, slowly turning in front of the full-length mirror. "Can I just… keep it on for couple more minutes?"

"Of course," said her mother, a small, knowing-all smile curling on her lips.


Several hours later, they were on their way home. She opened the door and let her mother come in. She looked around and then at her, giving her an approving nod. Something smelled really good in the kitchen, and an unfamiliar song was playing in the background, so she assumed Mark didn't hear them when they came in. A tweed jacket was folded on the arm-rest of the couch. That meant only one thing. And indeed, seconds later, her very breathless father came dashing into the living room, chasing Libby, who was giggling madly. Then she seemed to notice her grandmother, and stopped on her tracks in the middle of the room.

"GRANDMA!" she squealed, launching herself at the older woman, who wrapped her in her arms.

"Hello, sweetheart. What have you done with your grandfather?" she asked, raising her head to give her husband a look.

He shrugged. "She wanted to play," he said defensively. He turned to look at her, and smiled. "Maureen."

She laughed and gave her father a hug. "Hey, Daddy." Then she noticed Mark over her dad's shoulder. He was standing there, between the kitchen and the living room, with a small towel dangling from one shoulder. He walked into the living room as she let go of her father.

Her mother seemed to notice him just then. Her features softened, and she approached him. "Mark. Good to see you again."

"Hi, Mrs. Johnson."

"'Mrs. Johnson'? Oh, no. You're marrying my daughter, no need to be so formal. You're a part of the family now. Call me Elizabeth."

Mark's cheeks turned slightly pink as he nodded. "Okay. I will." He looked over his shoulder and smiled apologetically. "I left some stuff in the oven, I'd better…" his voice trailed off. Her mother, who seemed to be impressed by the fact he was actually cooking, nodded in approval. Mark smiled, murmured a quick apology, and hurried back to the kitchen.

"So did you have any luck finding a dress?" asked her father.

"Yeah, thank God, we did," she smiled, her thoughts drifting back to the beautiful dress they left behind. There were small stuff that needed to be done before she'd take it, so they left it with the shop's seamstress and she was about to pick it up within a month.

Her mother looked around once again. "This is a very nice apartment, by the way."

"You can see the park from my room!" said Libby, pulling at her grandmother's arm.

"Is that so? Why don't you show me around, little one?"

"If grandpa comes too."

"Of course he will."

Her parents disappeared down the hall with Libby on their lead. She watched them go and then walked towards the kitchen. Mark stood with his back turned to her and the music was still on, coming from a small radio-set on the counter, so he didn't hear her when she approached him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "No 'hi' for me?" she murmured, her lips grazing his neck.

His heart skipped a beat. Although his back was turned to her, she saw the small smile that curled on his lips. "Your parents were right there," he said without looking back.

"Well, I don't see them now, do you?" she asked, her hand slowly drifting down. He swallowed, hard, and caught her hand before it reached the top button of his pants.

"You'll make your mom kick me out of the family after she said I was a part of it. Not to mention the fact that your dad looks strong enough to kick my ass if I-"

"As I said, they're not here, so you're safe." He hesitated, and then slowly turned to face her, leaning against the counter. She smiled. "Hi."

"How was your day?" he asked casually, gently pushing her backwards. It was a weird feeling, kind of like falling with no real end; as if her back would soon hit something behind her and she'd never know until it would be too late.

"It's hard to do this backwards," she noted.

Mark smirked. "You should try it in heels."

She looked at him strangely. "How would you know?" He smiled but said nothing. It took her a while to realize he was directing her towards the fridge. Well, it wasn't until she was pinned against the fridge when she realized that.

"So how was your day?" he asked again, leaning down to kiss her neck. She closed her eyes, her mind slowly emptying itself of thoughts as she breathed in the scent of his aftershave. Sweet, a bit spicy, addictive.

"What are you doing?" she murmured, eyes still closed. She should stop him, she knew. Her father was definitely capable of kicking his ass if he'd walk in on them like that, no matter that both of them were almost 35.

"Just making light conversation," he said innocently, his hands drifting to her waist.

"You're bad…" she whispered seductively.

"I didn't do anything."

She repressed a giggle as he leaned down to kiss her again. She leaned back against the fridge and closed her eyes, but then quickly opened them again in confusion. Weird. The scent of Mark's aftershave was suddenly mixed with another smell. It smelled almost as if something was…

Mark seemed to realize what it was at the very second that she did. "Shit!" he breathed and pulled himself away from her. She watched him hurrying towards the oven, opening it and moving back before he'd suffocate by the grayish-white smoke that came out of it. Then after a few moments of staring at the fuming oven, he took out the dish that was inside. Or what was left of it. He groaned. "Great. How are we going to explain that to your parents?" he asked miserably.

"Is something burning?" Her mother's voice was heard from the living room. That did it. She burst into laughter. Mark shot her a look.

"Come on, Mark, it happens for the best," she said, her laughter slowly dying out. "I'll order some pizza."

He didn't have a chance to answer for her mother just appeared on the doorway, looking concerned. "What is going on in here?"

"A little cooking accident," she said innocently, glancing at Mark, who blushed instantly and looked away. Her mother didn't seem to notice. "You guys don't mind if we'll order pizza or something, do you?" she asked as they walked out to the living room, where her father was standing, carrying Libby on his shoulders.

"I have a better idea," he said. "We haven't yet celebrated this young lady's birthday as we should have," he tickled Libby's feet, making her giggle. "Let's go someplace nice and do that now."

Her mother nodded. "That is a better idea."

She glanced at Mark. Although he still looked kind of down for his ruined dinner, going out seemed to be okay with him. She tried not to feel guilty for forgetting they didn't do anything for Libby's birthday as she promised her they would. "Alright. That sounds great. Sweetie, go get your shoes and show grandpa how you tie your shoelaces like Mark taught you the other day, okay?"

Libby nodded seriously. "Okay mommy."

Her father put Libby down and followed her down the hall again. Her mother joined them. She and Mark were alone again. Still amused by the oven incident, she walked towards Mark as he put on his coat, and helped him button it.

"What?" he grumbled without looking at her, but failed in keeping a straight face.

She smiled and laid a small kiss on his lips. "I love you," she whispered. He wrapped his arms around her as she laid her head on his chest. Sudden chill ran through her and she shivered involuntarily.

"What happened?"

"I'm not sure, I…" her voice trailed off as Mark tightened his embrace. She felt kind of silly for being so worried all of a sudden. And she knew she had absolutely no reason to feel that way. Everything was great. Mark was about to adopt Libby. Within two months, they'd be married. She had the most amazing wedding gown. Things couldn't possibly get better.

So why did it feel all of a sudden as if something terrible was about to ruin all that…?