Chapter 15
It was all over the week afterwards. They met his lawyer and signed the papers, and it became official. He became Libby's father. Maureen had to go back to her office immediately afterwards, so he watched her as she hurried along the sidewalk until she disappeared among the crowd. Then he turned to the opposite direction and walked slowly to his gallery. He was so happy that everything was falling back into place. First, spring was almost there; he couldn't remember the last time he opened his eyes to face a city covered with snow and frost. The sun was up in the sky most of the time and the days were getting longer. Then their HIV tests came back negative, which was a huge relief in itself, and of course their wedding, that was only weeks away.
There was still a lot to do though. They hired a small ballroom in a hotel uptown for the reception. They were going over the guest list just the other evening for the third time. They wanted it to be a small wedding, as small as possible, so they had to include only the people that were the closest to them. He was still debating whether or not to send his mother an invitation, but Maureen pointed out just the other night that it would be worse if he wouldn't. He knew she was right. He was actually surprised that she was the one pointing this out after the way his mom treated her.
So they were going over the guest list, and one of Maureen's work colleagues was to design the invitations. Maureen got a call from the bridal shop at the beginning of the week, telling her that she could come and pick up her dress. She still had to find a dress for Libby, but she said she needed her mom to help her, so he knew he should expect another visit from the Johnsons pretty soon. He didn't mind that. He loved them. They were like substitute parental figures for him, after both his parents failed to function as such. He hoped that this time he would be able to prove his culinary skills without any… umm… distractions.
There were still couple of stuff he had to take care of. He had a meeting with a Rabbi that performed the marriage ceremonies of some of his friends. In the last wedding, the bride wasn't Jewish, but the Rabbi didn't seem to have a problem with that, and he looked pretty nice, too; a Jewish-Santa sort of man. So he decided to contact him. He told Maureen he'd take care of their rings and promised he'd get a new tux, but only after he said it, he realized the size of the trouble he got himself into. He told her he didn't need her to go shopping with him; he knew she was busy enough at work, but he also knew that he had no chance of finding something decent by himself. Unfortunately, Tammy couldn't go shopping with him because someone had to stay behind at the gallery. Of course, they could close early. Maybe that would be what he'd end up doing, he thought as he walked into the gallery.
"Why this long face, Cohen?" asked Tammy as he joined her near the counter. "I thought you'd be happy to sign those papers."
"I am. It's another thing that bugs me."
She shook her head, as if she knew what was on his mind. Knowing her, she probably did. "You should tell Maureen you want her to go with you."
He shook his head. "I can't bother her with this nonsense. She has enough to worry about."
"You won't think of it as nonsense when she'll walk down the aisle, take one look at what you'll wear and run away screaming."
He cringed. He could totally imagine this happen. "If you really wanna be supportive, Horowitz, why don't you come with me?"
Tammy looked surprised. "You want me to go shopping with you?"
"Yeah. Who knows, you might even be helpful." God, he hoped she would. It was his only hope. He looked at her seriously. No more jokes, no more teasing. "I really need your help, Tammy," he said. "Is it okay if you'll come with me this afternoon? We can close early and-"
"Sorry, I already have plans for this afternoon," she said apologetically. "I wanted to ask you if I could leave early because I'm supposed to meet my parents for dinner. But we can go tomorrow if you want," she added with a small smile.
He returned her smile. "Yeah. That'll be great. And of course you can leave early today."
"Thanks Boss," she said, turning to go. Then she seemed to change her mind, and turned to face him again. "Oh, this guy called you an hour ago," she said, taking a note out of her pocket. He took it from her, his forehead cringing.
"A guy?" he repeated, glancing at the unfamiliar number in Tammy's handwriting. There was only one name that came to mind, but he hoped it wasn't the right one. Andy…?
"Benny something. Asked you'd call him back."
Benny! He didn't hear from him again, not after him and Allison came over that night… before the nightmare with Andy began. He really wanted to keep in touch with Benny. He was the last remainder of the past. And the more he thought about it, it dawned on him that Benny was just the right person that could help him.
"So let me get this straight," said Benny as they made their way down the street several hours later. "You need my help-"
"Benny, I told you four times already, yes, I need your help," he said, kind of impatiently. But he was actually glad to see that Benny hasn't changed a bit.
Benny smiled that heart-melting smile that made him appear so charming in everyone's eyes. "I know, just couldn't resist hearing it again. Mark Cohen needs my help. What did I do to deserve this honor?"
"Will you let it go already? I'd do it myself, only I know better. I wouldn't have asked if it wasn't an emergency."
"Let's hear it then. How can I help you?"
"I need to get a tux for the wedding. I was stupid enough to tell Maureen I'd be okay finding one myself. I don't know what I was thinking."
Benny burst out laughing. "Yeah, that was pretty stupid of you." He paused, as if to control his laughter, and then said, "Well, I'll do it, but only because I wanna see you married and settled already. And we both know it'll never happen if you'll pick up a tux by yourself."
Why they all keep reminding me this, he thought miserably as he followed Benny down the street. He murmured a quick 'thank you' and hurried after Benny.
Soon they got to a shop he has never been to before. Benny seemed to know it pretty well; he walked in there as if he visited there daily and everyone greeted him as they entered. He even flirted with one or two of the salespersons, but it seemed more playful than as if he really meant it. And this is where he realized that Benny has changed; at least a little.
He snapped back into reality with the sound of Benny's voice. "Annette, my favorite woman," he said. Looking up, he saw a tall brunette walking towards them. She was wearing what looked like a very expensive suit in navy blue. Her make-up looked almost like a mask, concealing who-knew-how-many wrinkles. The scent of her too-strong perfume was carried heavily in the air, making his head reel, and he stopped himself from sneezing. She smiled at Benny and kissed his cheeks. "Looking fine than ever," said Benny, ever the charmer, as he took her hand and kissed the back of it.
"Save those compliments to your wife, Benjamin," said Annette, the slightest French accent audible in the way she pronounced Benny's name. Then her eyes wandered from Benny to him, and back to Benny, who seemed to remember his existence.
"This is my friend Mark Cohen. Mark, this is Annette, she runs the store."
For a second, he was panicked. Would she expect him to kiss her hand the way Benny just did? Only thinking about it made him blush; he could feel his cheeks turn slightly pink.
"Nice to meet you Mark," she smiled and shook his hand. "What can I do for you, gentlemen?"
"Well, Mark here is getting married," said Benny, pushing him forward slightly. "I'd like to see him wears something decent on the most important day of his life." There was not a hint of cruelty or cynicism by the way he said it. He couldn't remember the last time he heard Benny speak so truthfully. He realized how much he missed that.
"You came to the right place, we'll dress him up, no problem," said Annette, smiling at him. Then she did one step back and looked at him, starting at his shoes and slowly moving upwards, in such slowness that made him feel really nervous. This was so awkward; it felt as if he was standing there naked. He was always intimidated by women like her, from a reason he could never figure out. He tried to act his age and swallow it up. He hoped Benny wouldn't notice his embarrassment and say something nasty. Then Annette seemed to finish her… umm… inspections, for she looked up at them and said, "If you'll wait in the dressing room, let me see what we have here to suit you."
They thanked her and he followed Benny to the backside of the store, where there was a huge dressing room. The last time he was in such a big room was when he went with his mom to buy a suit for his Bar Mitzvah. He looked around. There were mirrors everywhere. Ugh. His image reflected back at him from wherever he looked. He felt so out of place. Benny fit there perfectly, with his dark suit and blue dress-shirt. "She's something, isn't she?" he asked. "Heart of gold, this woman has."
Under all those make-up layers, he was sure she had. Just then he noticed that the room had smaller, private dressing-rooms, along one wall. A sigh of relief escaped him. At least he wouldn't have to take his clothes off in front of Annette's inspecting eye. Golden heart or not, she was still intimidating. "You seem to know her pretty well," he said carefully. Benny seemed to like this Annette, and he didn't want to say something that would hurt his feelings.
"Yeah, I know her for years. I first met her when Allie and I got engaged. Her dad brought me here."
"How's Allison?"
"She's good," replied Benny. There was something in his tone… he couldn't quite place it but it was definitely there. He remembered Allison's strange behavior when she was at their place. Later that night, Maureen said she felt it too. He wondered what that was all about, but he didn't dare asking.
Annette interrupted their conversation as she entered, her arms loaded with hangers. "Here. This should do it. Unfortunately I have some more clients outside so I can't stay. Call me if you need anything."
"Thanks Annette," said Benny, taking the hangers from her. There were at half a dozen different suits. He never thought there were so many possibilities to design a tux. God, it's gonna be a long afternoon, he thought grimly. His eyes met Benny, and he knew that the same thought crossed Benny's mind as well.
Two hours and twenty suits later, they were out of there. They decided to go with a traditional outfit, after trying too many untraditional ones, including a white one that made him look like a ghost, according to Benny. He tried on three suits as well, and although he kind of liked them better, Benny thought they'd be too casual for a wedding. His new tux was carefully wrapped in a dark sack-like bag, and he carried it over his shoulder as they walked down the street. It's been a long afternoon already, so he thought he'd shop for their rings the next day or something. Benny suggested they'd go someplace for a drink and he hesitated, but only for a moment. Maureen would understand. Besides, he wouldn't have to stay long.
"I can't believe you're gonna marry her," said Benny once a redhead waitress gave them their drinks and vanished.
He smiled. "I know. I find it hard to believe too sometimes."
Benny laughed and sipped his beer. Then he looked at him kind of hesitantly and asked slowly, "What's with the kid?"
"Libby?"
Benny nodded. "I know it's none of my business," he said, looking serious. "I know it's up to Maureen to decide if she wanna tell me or not. It's just… when I first saw her…" his voice trailed off, as if he wasn't sure how to go on.
"I'm sure Maureen won't mind me telling you. It's not a big secret. She was married before. She ended up raising Libby alone because they got divorced before the baby was born." He didn't tell Benny why they got divorced exactly. He felt that he had no right to do that. It was Maureen's choice. And still, it seemed as if Benny understood it all anyway.
"The bastard," he said under his breath, reaching for his beer again.
"Yeah. Something like that." Andy's image rose before his eyes, and vanished just as quickly.
"She looks like a great kid though."
"She's amazing. Oh, and she has this teddy-bear; she named him Roger."
Benny almost chocked on his drink. "You're kidding, right?" He shook his head, smiling. He remembered his own reaction when he first learned the bear's name. Benny had that goofy smile now, too. "Was it Maureen's idea?"
"She said that it wasn't."
Benny smirked. "Roger would have killed her."
"I wish he was here for it," he said sadly.
"I know."
There was a short pause; Benny stared contemplated at nothing in particular. He knew that he was thinking about Mimi's funeral, when Roger completely lost it. They hardly kept in touch ever since. Benny came to Collins' funeral, but they hardly said two words for one another, mostly because Roger was always around, giving Benny nasty looks. Then when Roger was gone, Benny didn't attend the funeral because he was out of town, but he did call to say how sorry he was, which was something he never expected him to do. In spite of everything, by the look on his face at the moment, it was clear that he still missed Roger.
The silence was beginning to get awkward, so he decided to talk about that other thing that was on his mind. He felt that he had to ask. But he wasn't sure how to do it directly, so he decided to try another way. "So, you and Allison. I'm glad it's working out after all this time." He really did. He remember how Roger and him set that bet, trying to determine how long would it take Benny to come back to his senses and leave her. And then when they all learned the truth about Mimi and him, everyone felt it was only a matter of time.
"Well, you know. We all have our ups and downs. But we're in a good point in our lives, Allie and me. It was tough getting there, but I'm glad we did."
"That's good." He sipped his drink. "She didn't seem too comfortable to be there when you were at our place," he said matter-of-factly.
Benny sighed, as if he knew it was coming. "It has nothing to do with you, guys, really. She told me later that she had a really great time. It's just… that we don't go out much anymore."
He looked at Benny questionably, but said nothing. Now he was getting curious.
Benny took a deep breath and started speaking again. "We lost a baby a couple of years ago," he said quietly. Their gazes locked. Looking straight into Benny's eyes, he could finally recognize that thing that was hidden in Allison's eyes as well. It was the worst kind of pain imaginable. "Allie got into labor way too early, I think she was in the 7th month. The baby was too small. She just couldn't breathe by herself."
A girl. No wonder Allison looked so devastated once Libby walked into the living room that evening. "I'm so sorry," he said quietly. He couldn't even start imagining how it felt. He hoped he'd never have to, either.
"That's okay. It takes time to heal, but it'll be okay," he said, smiling sadly.
He was doing all he could to shift the conversation away from that issue, away from the pain that was now clearly visible in Benny's face. He was angry at himself for acting so nosy. He shouldn't have started talking about it; it was none of his business.
They left the bar and stood on the sidewalk. He didn't realize how late it became until they stepped outside. The sunset was replaced with darkness and the City's sparkling lights and billboards.
"I'd better get going, Allison's gonna kill me."
"Tell her I'm the one to blame," he laughed. "Thanks for helping me. I really appreciate it."
"No problem, Cohen," smiled Benny. "We didn't do this in a while, didn't we?"
"What, hanging out together? No, we didn't."
"We should do it again. I'll call you next week. Maybe you and Maureen can come to our place."
"Sure. That'll be great," he smiled, and then something occurred to him. Something he and Maureen didn't consider yet. He looked at Benny intently. Yeah, he could be a jerk at times, but he'd do, if he'd agree. "There's another thing I need to ask from you."
"Mark Cohen needs my help again? Must be my lucky day," he said, looking at him teasingly. "Let's hear it, boy."
"Well, I still don't have a best man, so I was wondering…"
Benny was quiet for the longest time. He looked as if he wasn't expecting this, and yet he seemed touched by the offer. When he looked back at him, smiling, there was something in his eyes he knew he would never forget. "I'll be honored to be your best man, Mark."
He was still smiling when he got home. He locked the door and laid the bag on the back of the couch. The living room was dimly lit and the apartment was quiet, except for a constant murmur coming from down the hall. Glancing at his watch, he assumed Maureen was reading Libby a bed-time story. He wished he was back earlier to do that himself. He wanted to spend their first day as father and daughter together with her, and instead he was hanging out with Benny. He hurried down the hall, feeling very guilty all of a sudden, and knocked softy on the half-closed door. The murmur stopped instantly. He pushed the door open and his two favorite girls looked up at him as he entered and sat on Libby's bed.
"Daddy," said Libby, in a voice that indicated that she was happy to see him, but also that she was very close to fall asleep.
"Hi sweetie," he smiled, kissing her forehead. His eyes met Maureen's. She looked tired, but at ease. "What are you reading tonight?" he asked, looking at Libby again. She looked tiny under the covers, with Roger the Bear and some other stuffed animals framing her small figure, as if guarding her.
"She wanted to read Oz again. We just walked into the Emerald City, didn't we, Munchkin?" Libby hardly nodded as her head dropped on the pillows. "I guess we'll see the rest of the City tomorrow then," said Maureen, closing the book. He clicked off the lamp on Libby's bedside and tucked the blankets more tightly around her as Maureen kissed her goodnight.
As they were halfway back to the living room, Maureen took his hand and pulled him towards her. His lips met hers halfway with a lingering kiss. "Where have you been?" she murmured, slowly pulling away.
"Out shopping with Benny. I should have called, but I didn't realize how late it was."
She raised one suspicious eyebrow. "Out shopping with Benny?" she echoed.
"Yeah."
"Does he use Clinique?"
He gave her a puzzled look. "What?"
"This perfume that's all over your jacket. It's not yours, so I'm assuming it's Benny's since you said you spent the afternoon with him. I can recognize this perfume from miles, my grandma used to wear it."
For a second, he wasn't sure what she was talking about, and it suddenly dawned on him. "Oh, the perfume is not Benny's, it's this woman's-"
"What woman?" asked Maureen, taking a step back.
Was he imagining things? Was she actually… jealous? He smiled. He couldn't believe his ears. "Annette. The manager of the store we went to," he said, laughing.
"Okay," she said slowly, glancing at him carefully, as if she wasn't sure she believed him. It made him laugh even harder.
"Mo, we went shopping because I promised you I'd get a new tux," he said as they stepped into the living room. He nodded towards the back of the couch, where he laid the bag when he got home.
She looked at him and then at the bag, and walked slowly towards it. He looked at her, amused. It was so unlike her to be jealous like that. She seemed as if she was about to reach for the bag and open it. He got there a second before she did, and stopped her. She raised her head in surprise.
"It's bad luck to see it before the wedding," he pointed out.
She needed a moment to take this in, it seemed, but then a slow, beautiful smile curled on her lips and she let go of the bag. "Is that some sort of a Jewish superstition?"
He smiled. "If seeing the bride's dress before the wedding is bad luck, why not making it the other way around?"
"That's true, I guess," she said slowly.
"So how was your day?" he asked as they moved to sit on the couch. The smile instantly returned to her lips.
"Libby and I went shopping as well. We met this really nice woman."
"What woman?"
"It was kind of creepy at first," she continued, ignoring his question. "I've never seen her before in my life, and there she was, in the middle of the crowded mall, calling my name."
"How did she know your name then?" he asked, suddenly intrigued. It did sound creepy.
"Apparently, her younger brother told her my name."
"You know her brother then?" Maybe it was one of her work colleagues. Or an old friend from the Village. Everything could happen in New York.
"You can say that," she said, smiling mysteriously. "I'm gonna marry him in April."
For a moment, he was totally confused, but then it dawned on him who she was talking about. He stared at her jaw-dropped. "You met my sister in the mall?"
"I thought it was unbelievable too. Especially because she's not even living around here."
"What was she doing here then?" And why didn't she call him? He had no idea Cindy would be uptown or he would have asked her advice about the tux and all.
"She had this meeting uptown." Their eyes met. There was this glimmer in her eyes. "She was really nice, Mark. I was so afraid she'd be like your mom… like a younger version of her, but she proved me wrong. Completely wrong."
A sigh of relief escaped him before he could stop it. He knew that Cindy would never fall for their mother's prejudice before she'd have a chance to judge for herself, but he still had his doubts. It obviously went well, without even planning it. And Maureen looked very happy to meet her. She was chattering endlessly about it now, like an excited little girl.
"We went to this café and talked for the longest time. Poor Libby, she got so bored at some point. And Cindy told us about the kids, about the twins and Natalie and about her husband." Then she stopped, as if to catch her breath, and she looked at him hesitantly. "I invited them for dinner this Friday. Actually, Cindy invited us first, but I thought that the first time Libby meets the kids should be in a place she feels safe in, not in a strange house she doesn't know. So they'll come here instead. It's okay, isn't it?"
"Are you kidding? Of course it's okay," he said, wrapping his arms around her. He couldn't believe it was happening. And it was a relief that they didn't have to drive to Scarsdale, too. The more he'd be able to avoid facing the problem with his mom, the better.
"There's one thing though," said Maureen, looking up at him.
"What?" he asked, touching her hair.
"You'll need to help me cook. It's my first Friday dinner and I don't know what you guys-"
"It's just an ordinary dinner. There's just this prayer at the beginning of it, and wine and candles. That's all. You'll be okay," he promised.
"I don't know…" she said, still looking hesitant.
"In the worst case, we'll ask Cindy to get you into Hebrew lessons at the Scarsdale Jewish Community Center." She pouted, looking as adorable as in every time she did that. "What? I heard they teach non-Jewish brides how to cook, too!" he said defensively.
"What if this Rabbi will hate me?" she asked suddenly.
"The one I'm seeing tomorrow?" he asked. She nodded. "Then we'll find another one."
"God, Mark, this is wrong. This is so wrong," she said, sounding desperate and somewhat panicked all of a sudden. He had no idea where it came from. She was okay five minutes ago. "We can't do this. It's crazy. You need to find yourself a nice, Jewish girl and marry her."
"But I don't want a nice, Jewish girl," he said softly, lacing his fingers with hers. "I want you. So stop panicking, everything is gonna be great."
"And we could still celebrate Christmas, right?" she asked slowly, as if she feared he'd say that they couldn't. Her insecurity amazed him. It was so sudden, and so unlike her.
"Of course. We'll celebrate Christmas, and Thanksgiving, and Halloween-"
"And Valentine's Day?" she asked, wrapping her arms around his neck.
"And Valentine's Day," he whispered, smiling, and pulled her closer for a kiss.
