Disclaimer: None mine. Jenn Sweet is the alter ego of Jessica Darling, who is actually a character in Megan McCafferty books entitled Sloppy Firsts and Second Helpings, but any resemblance to her after her place as a sarcastic writer is purely coincidental. However, do pick up those books if you're looking for something to read. After all, a poem in the first book inspired the idea that inspired the idea that inspired the fic, and, well, a situation in the first book as well. Megan Jones is of HPM.
A/N: Dean Thomas rumors as the Half-Blood Prince can be dispelled (ha!) through J.K. Rowling's website in which therein she says that Dean's family background will not make it into the books due to her plot's need to emphasize Neville's background.
Malfoy's Apartment
"I'm going to sue her!" Draco Malfoy roared. "I'm going to sue her because it is blatantly obvious that I am the antagonist in this book of hers. Serpents In Eden, what sort of name is that?"
"A name that explains the book very simply. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl get along. Stupid girl gets tempted by the proverbial apple contained within the serpent's grasp, and stupid girl gets both herself and boy ostracized from society," Blaise Zabini replied flippantly to his friend. "The papers are predicting it will be the largest fictional exposé in the history of the magical press."
"I suppose she goes into rather great detail about the proverbial apple." Draco muttered of his ex-girlfriend, Ginny Weasley.
True, the fact that she AND that ruddy half-blood Dean Thomas had both been ostracized from their tower had been a bit of a hyperbole, but Thomas, who had come to discover his true magical breeding through quite dramatic circumstances, had withdrawn entirely in the second half of his last year at Hogwarts. He was apparently making it on both sides of the spectrum, milking the tortured artist routine to the utmost degree, and had even created the cover for Serpents In Eden. Obviously, since then, the idiot had made up with Ginny. And obviously, as the heiress to the Weasley legacy and Gryffindor's star Chaser, no such isolation had been doted onto Ginny, but there had been quite the awkward six months leading up to her brother and his friends and enemies' graduation.
As for Draco, there were no sentiments attached to the littlest redhead, who, in spite of her many attractive qualities, had been a victory of the decreasingly-funded Malfoy heir in that his complicated mind games had come to a most surprising and most satisfactory conclusion.
The primary reason for this overwhelming sense of satisfaction, both Blaise and their other friend Theodore Nott concluded quite amusedly, had to have been the fact that out of the three, Malfoy had been the least clever. Fortunately for him, he had to lackeys who made him look like a genius in comparison.
Nott had been a little too clever in that he got all too heavily involved in the dealings of the Dark Arts, a crime for which he was convicted and punished before the three had hit the American drinking age. Also by that time, the spoiled Malfoy and the indifferent Zabini had managed their ways out of the "ugly tattoo" or the "useless pain" (guess which label belonged to whom).
"She doesn't even allude to my talents in Charms and Transfiguration, unless they're utilized to antagonize people!"
Nonetheless, Zabini would be the last to say that they were good people. Zabini, at best, considered Malfoy a "poufy playboy with a sedated sugar mama but stingy pockets", and Malfoy considered Zabini a "working stiff with no sense of humor but all too much cunning". They were a Harold and Kumar-esque pair.
"Oh, that money-hungry bitch is going to have a field day with this one!" Malfoy moaned, upturning a silver photo frame as he stormed about his apartment. Blaise summoned the photo, which featured Draco, his ex-wife, and his mother.
"Who, Pansy?"
"No, Narcissa. Well, both of them."
"How do you even know about this?" Blaise flipped through some documents Draco had filed on his desk pertaining to the as-of-yet-unreleased novel.
"Edina's husband held many stocks in her publisher's office and a secretary informed her of it." Draco pouted. "But I had to find this out from Cherish, who was a little more willing to part with the information. Edina was afraid of upsetting me."
"The fact that you are sleeping with a rich woman and her rich daughter is despicable, you know that?" Blaise groaned, falling back onto Draco's bed.
"At the moment, the fact that I slept with Weasley at all appears to be more despicable, in light of the consequences." Draco snapped. "I mean, everybody knows that the bloody Harry Potter years are keen subject material for all Hogwarts-based fiction. And the dirty bitch is so closely associated with him, they're sure to jump all over it."
"Has either Cherish or Edina," Blaise began, shuddering at the thought of both poorly selected monikers, "Read the book yet?"
"Cherish has. She's rather enamored with it—she was a Hufflepuff." That explained why Draco's favor of Edina had been so prevalent of late. "She's under the impression that the antagonist is a generalized version of Slytherin men, but I figured it out in a heartbeat."
"Is it any good?"
"Are you going to trust a Hufflepuff? Cherish, Merlin love her, isn't brighter than a rainbow-colored stuffed-parrot, and rather like a parrot, has always been fascinated with shiny things." Draco muttered, and Blaise looked up. Draco was now in his silk and velvet lounging wear, which meant he was really going to sulk. As expected, he sighed dramatically. "Now what am I going to do?"
"Oh, please." Blaise replied, and Draco looked hurt.
"My name, and the name of our house, good sir, is being dragged through the mud, and I'll have you know that your indifference is really starting to bug me." Draco whined. "Besides, your beloved potions master will probably be under investigative measures after the release of this tabloid tome, considering all that went on in our years." It was true. As a quietly brilliant potions student and an indifferent sort of Slytherin, after the O.W.Ls, Blaise had become quite the year's favorite for the potions master. However, he sighed. "Draco, I'm sure Dumbledore was perfectly aware of what was going on. He'd have stopped it if he had wanted to, but in case you are forgetting, he was battling the Second Coming of the Dark Lord at the moment."
"So do you mean you aren't going to do anything about this?" Draco demanded shrilly. "You're my legal council, for crying out loud!"
"I work for the Prophet, Draco! I occasionally produce an article, but I mainly oversee photo and ink potion production." Blaise admittedly did much more, but his point was clear. "And I cannot believe you made me owl in sick for your petty whining. The very least you could do is produce a copy of this book but your insufficient and insufferable complaints—"
A copy of the book sailed past Blaise's head.
"Not with the final graphics, but informative nonetheless." Draco sniffed. "And if I'm so bloody inconvenient—" He didn't finish his sentence. He merely huffed into the next room, leaving the curtains to fly after him spectacularly.
Blaise rolled his eyes. His best friend sure was a nutter. "What is it that you expect me to do about all of this?" He called out after his friend.
Draco's head appeared between the folds of the curtains. "Something! Anything!"
Blaise rolled his eyes once more as his friend disappeared.
Somewhere in Diagon Alley
"Word is you've sent Malfoy into a right tizzy. One of his girlfriends showed him an early copy of your book and since then he's been sulking." Megan Jones exclaimed excitedly to the slim author of Serpents In Eden.
The redhead rolled her eyes. "Draco has always been rather dramatic."
Megan was an enthusiastic Hufflepuff that had been a year above Ginny in school, but was a little less mature than Ginny's other companion for her pre-book-signing lunch date, Jenn Sweet, a Ravenclaw who had been two years below Ginny. They both represented the wide spectrum of interested readers. Megan, with Jenn's assistance in reading between the lines, was in charge of the book's publicity, and Jenn Sweet was Ginny's editor and confidante.
"At least you're not idealistic in thinking the basis of Candace Bowen is entirely innocent." Jenn defended Ginny's work immediately. "If that's what he's complaining about."
"Oh, no, Draco is only concerned with how he appears." Ginny drawled. "I feel bad for him really. His fortunes were secretly reduced to near nothing, he was still forced to go on with his arranged marriage, and now he is 24, divorced, and the plaything of the idle rich."
"Oh, boo-hoo." Jenn rolled her eyes. "Have you considered the publisher's offer?"
What was strange was that Jenn doubled as her editor and her agent.
Megan and Jenn looked very excited as Ginny sighed. "Yes, I've considered it. And if my experiences on the tour are as interesting as I expect them to be, then yes, I will write a sequel."
Silence. Her friends' reactions were mixed at best.
"What do you mean, 'as interesting as I expect them to be'?" Megan demanded. "Of course they're going to be interesting! You're going to be propelled into the spotlight and right into that society again as the little lamb they all want to slaughter for her wool!" The implied pun was noted.
"And it's not like this is an entirely autobiographical work, Ginny. You left off at the end of Candace's sixth year, and you could write about her adventures in the last year she's got left!" Jenn protested, her business side taking over. "You're at the helm of a hit, and why not ride the wave?"
"I may not have been a writer all of my life, Jenn, but somehow I'd feel like pushing a sequel would be selling out. If I don't have the inspiration, I don't have the inspiration. I can go back to my oh-so-boring desk job in the AUROR DEPARTMENT or I could possibly write my next hit. But I'm not going to push it and neither are any of you." Ginny said with a tone of finality. "Is there anything else we can discuss?"
"Reviews." Megan got right to business for once, but chances were she was avoiding any more confrontation. "Witch Weekly loved it."
"That was expected." Jenn explained. "They eat this stuff right up. Your book falls within two popular genres right now- The Harry Potter Hogwarts Years and the Purebloods' Glamourous Lives."
"Oh, goody." Ginny retorted sarcastically. "What about the legitimate press?"
"Don't disregard Witch Weekly. They're a portion of your key demographic." Jenn snapped. "Surprisingly, The Genealogy Times was very impressed. Apparently, Pansy Parkinson did not notice the resemblance between herself and Tamara Seneca. Her friends, according to her review, have also read pre-released copies and adore it."
"The Quibbler, of course, we've had in the bag," Megan began, but Ginny held a hand up to interrupt.
"Luna," Ginny said with an heir of great importance, "Is a strange friend. Fiercely loyal but also eccentrically opinionated, and I'm glad she liked it--and could put up with it. Frankly, those times were the worst for our friendship, mainly because if I had listened to her in the first place, none of this ever would have happened."
"Well, when you get rich, you must remember to thank her." Megan chirped. "Potion Pressed, which is an American literary magazine ("I know what it is, Megan!"), is the leader of the Stateside accolades, and the Flourish and Blotts newsletter highlighted it as a must-have, Scrhivenshaft's Quill Shop, which rarely, I remind you, carries books, carries the entire line, paperback, hardback and travel-sized, a great compliment...and last but not least, the Prophet."
Ginny held her breath. She knew each of the literati staff at the Culture Section at the Propet, at least by name and reputation. And she'd been crossing her fingers in hopes that Blaise Zabini, who had been part of the terrible Slytherin gang, would not get ahold of this assignment. He was not a regular staffer, but they relied upon him when they were especially swamped, and in light of explanatory articles of current fiction trends, the Culture Section staff had been rumored to be swamped with work. While Pansy Parkinson and her crowd of shallow bimbos may not have been able to recognize the analyzations of their teenage alter egos, Blaise was clever--clever enough to understand, unlike Draco, exactly how Ginny had felt through the whole ordeal.
Even Jenn barely knew what that was exactly.
"I've just gotten it in, actually. The PR department has collaged all of your reviews for the next advert and for some posters they're going to have set up in Flourish and Blotts, and I hadn't had a chance to look over it." Megan thumbed through it. "Oh."
"What, what?" Jenn demanded in a panicked voice, and she snatched the paper away from Megan, and she stopped as suddenly as Megan had. "Oh."
"WHAT?" Ginny demanded. "Are you going to read it or what?"
Both knew about Ginny's concern about Blaise Zabini, although they had grouped this concern in with the concern about Pansy Parkinson.
"Blaise Zabini reviewed it." Jenn said finally.
"And?" Ginny cried. "What did he think?"
"We haven't gotten that far. It's still so much of a shocker that he reviewed it at all." Megan explained, and Ginny shut her eyes in frustration.
"Will the two of you stop being girls and just read it?" She snapped, putting her forehead down on the table's cool surface.
("But we are girls!") Jenn read through the review, which appeared to be quite long judging by how long it took her to read, and by the end there was a smile on her face. Ginny and Megan beamed too.
"Not yet have the perils of substance abuse seen so often in the Muggle world reached magical fiction, especially in such an honest and realistic voice that is Weasley's. Although some snootier and shallower readers may dismiss this work as defectively existential, Weasley's tale of a hopelessly innocent girl who manages to isolate herself and her boyfriend all through the temptations of the glamorous, corrupt and secretive world of wealthy purebloods and with the help of a toxic lover, seems so grand but so morose it might just be real. The disintegration of pureblood youth seems to lie in their boredom and their mixed messages about what exactly dirties their reputations, but Weasley does not preach and does not bore. The ending appears to be semi-tragic, and leaves hopes for more." Jenn read excitedly. "He continues on about your word choices and syntax and whatnot, but...this is bloody brilliant! You've swept them, Ginny. You've swept them off your feet and you may just be the new voice that Little Red Books--hell, the whole market--you may just be the new voice that'll refresh and reawaken the literary market!"
"I wouldn't go that far..." Ginny said, blushing. She tried not to scowl in confusion about Blaise's review. She read over it as Megan and Jenn toasted themselves with glee, and looked for a sign that Blaise had seen an echo of the lost little girl that had written the book.
Maybe he wasn't as clever as she had thought. They, Draco and Blaise, had always said that Theodore Nott had been the clever one. But as Candace Bowen said of Theodore's fictional alter ego, Laurence Waltraud, "The clever, at times of war, are the so indifferent that they achieve a constant virginity, regardless of the penetration of evil.". In her book, Xavier Francis had understood what Candace Bowen had said. Maybe Ginny had given the boy too much credit.
That's fiction for you.
Back at Malfoy's
"This is not what I meant when I asked you to help!" Draco whined, and Blaise looked up from the potion he was brewing. Blaise must've looked confused, because Draco held up a copy of the Cultural Section as though to remind his friend of his damage.
"It's good, Draco. And it's fairly fictional." Fairly being key. Blaise was still pouring over his copy. He had long since returned the borrowed copy in favor of the Prophet's extended version. He'd been asked to do more interpretations of the work for a collected guideline for a new Hogwarts Genealogy class, in addition to creating text-related questions for Ginny at an upcoming WWN Press Conference.
"What do you mean, it's fairly fictional? The antagonist is a beautiful blonde boy who toys with the affections of the protagonist, who is a redheaded sister of a bajillion brothers!" Draco continued. "And the drugs, and the alcohol, and the parties--for Merlin's sake, Blaise, some of this dialogue may be direct quotes!"
"In some ways, Ginny's experiences predominate the plot. However, some of them may be indulgences in order to further the story, and they push as far as to being preachy without touching the line. It's foreshadowing for what will happen if wealthy purebloods aren't instructed properly." Blaise read off of his notes. He had intended for some of these comments to make the paper, but some of the notes were too personal to be just another reviewer's opinion. "I mean, she wasn't ostracized at Hogwarts."
Draco narrowed his eyes. "Maybe you're right. But there are quite a few coincidences, if you know what I mean."
"You're being a bit sensitive, Draco. I mean, maybe it's because it's your ex-girlfriend's book and she's looking to come out of this wealthier than you are now-"
"Don't you dare say I'm jealous!"
"Because you're not." "Because I'm not!"
Draco's eyes narrowed even further and then he nodded. "Fine. If Parkinson can't see what a cow she's been made out to be, and if you can't see how ridiculously boring your alter ego is, then maybe I am being sensitive."
Blaise scowled, reaching behind him for his copy of the novel. "Am I really...boring?"
Draco turned, and grinned. "I guess I'll be getting to her book signing. After all, what way to play up my new nice guy image by mending bridges with my blasphemous ex?"
As he left Blaise, Draco heard the furious flipping of pages.
Flourish & Blotts
Ginny was going through her book signing in a daze. She was suffering from some sort of disease all fiction writers must have when they've convinced themselves their stories are, in the very least, partially true. When she'd started all of this, her story was only fractionally true and now her belief in it was growing exponentially. The disappointment, she discovered, was the worst symptom of the disease.
There was a picture taken of her for the Prophet, which reminded her of her fateful introduction to Draco Malfoy. Everybody, from her mother's old tea buddies, to purebloods, to giddy little girls and their giddy little mothers, to homosexuals to genealogy enthusiasts both scholarly and idealistic, was excited about the book. She plastered on a rather fake smile, and hoped that a further explanation of Blaise Zabini's review would be published alongside the photo, but there would probably be no such luck. She knew already that her book was being studied by a panel of experts in the fields of genealogy and literature, and that her upcoming WWN press conference would allow her to give some of her own feedback--more for the literatary study guides than the genealogy. In a recent quick interview with The Genealogy Times, she'd been asked how her own background played into the final product, to which she had replied, "Mr. Zabini's review pegged the nail on the head when he said this book was about the mixed messages that are sent to the pureblooded youth of today. Some are told who they associate with and who they reproduce with and who they are better than due to their lineage and other privileges that usually accompany their lineage are what keeps them pure and clean. But often they are not taught the importance of good character, of pure hearts and clean moral fiber. Corny as it may sound, those traits were the ones emphasized in my upbringing, not my friends, or who I chose to reproduce with, or who I was better than due to my lineage. That's how my background played into the final product."
Her reply, in its length and formal diction, reminded her greatly of her History of Magic essays.
Thus far, Malfoy had managed to make quite the publicity stunt of himself, no doubt landing him on the front of the rumors section of every less than legitimate publication about the ambiguous connection between himself and the book's antagonist, Tyrone Avalon. She'd rolled her eyes and had nearly stuck a fork in his thigh when the next set of fans came through-ironically and awkwardly Draco's ex-wife and her friends. Ginny confirmed her beliefs in karma just then.
The line never seemed to end, and she'd been at it since 1 o'clock. She had been under the belief that Hogwarts students were in school but so many had managed to get down here-and what with her busy schedule, Ginny was probably doing the signing on a Hogsmeade weekend. By 5:15, she was about ready to go as the last few fans floated away, when an out-of-breath and very weary-looking Blaise Zabini appeared out of the Floo.
Ginny couldn't say who was more shocked at his arrival- Blaise or herself. They stared at each other for a moment, when finally Ginny noted that a copy of her book was in his hand and she stammered an offer to sign it.
Blaise approached her slowly, complimenting the jacket, which depicted the backside of an anonymous pale body, wrapped only in a serpent of primarily silver and gold, with red and green spots. It was a watercolor with intentions to make the flush red and green spots appear to be the apples. Ginny explained that it had been her idea but Dean's talent, and did Blaise remember Dean?
By the look on his face, Ginny could tell that Blaise had read between the lines, and he seemed to be horrified at the thought of their brief time sharing adolesence.
Blaise was reeling. He did not yet understand the extent of her double meanings and metaphors and similes, but he knew he wanted to understand them. But before he knew it, they had come to talking about what he was doing with his life.
Apparently, Malfoy had visited earlier and she found him to be a vapid socialite and had hoped that Blaise was doing better. Was he still dating that girl, Tracey? No, not exactly. Was he still interested in potions? Why, yes, that was his primary reason for employment with the Prophet. Oh, then, did he know Colin? Yes, and he was a very big fan of his work both inside and outside the Prophet and owned several of his coffee table books. Did he know that Colin had taken the photograph that had been worked into Dean's painting? No, he did not, but the quality of the work did not suprise him. Did he know who the girl in the photo was?
At that, Blaise blushed and wished he hadn't sounded, in response to her inquiries, so formal and so dull. She paused, looked away, and then opened his book to sign it.
"Would you like me to write anything specific?" She asked, and for the first time, her voice sounded real to him.
Unfortunately, his could not do the same to his ears. To a very big and curious fan.
Her quill was quick, and she looked up, studying his face. "I have to say, I was expecting a little more from you."
With that, the filthy wench tried to get away with a poignant exit. She had been Draco's lover for too long. Blaise caught up to her, and finally he heard himself speak.
"What do you mean?" His eyes searched her and she made a curious little simper, something he could not stand with her reply.
"I thought you'd amount to something a little less...meaningless." She said finally, her simper fading into a look of pity. Blaise's face hardened. What the fuck did she know? He swallowed, hard. He bid her a polite goodbye and stalked back to the signing table to fetch his book.
He didn't understand it all. But he was going to.
To be continued...
I will take you as you are
Please accept me as I am
Find your lonely life bizarre
Know it's above you, I know it's below me
I will take you as you are
Please accept me as I am
There'll be something in the wind
To show us we're right and tell us we're wrong
I want to move on
Above You Below Me -Badly Drawn Boy
