Disclaimer: Dick Wolf, that says it all.
Title: La Belle Femme
Spoiler: Fan fic story by whomever had Goren introducing Eames as the "lovely lady".
Rating: T
Summary: Goren, in a momentary brain freeze, introduces Eames as the "lovely lady" on the job and lives to regret it.
Goren and Eames arrived back at One P.P. Eames walked over to the coat rack, hung up her jacket, then walked over to Goren.
"Conference room 3…Now, Goren." Her tone was short and her voice was sharp.
"Huh?" Goren looked
up…Eames had already taken off at a brisk trot. Goren hung up his
Burberry. Put his leather portfolio on his desk. Walked at a
leisurely pace down the hall towards Conference room 3. Wonder what's up?
Goren opened the door to the conference room. Eames was standing on the other side of the table. Her arms were crossed over her chest. She's was tapping one foot. She looked as though her head was in danger of spinning around. Kind of like Linda Blair in The Exorcist.
"Close the door."
He did so.
What on earth is the matter? Why does Eames look like she going to spit nails, for god's sakes?
Eames crossed the room. She grabbed Goren by his necktie and slammed him backwards into the wall. He was stunned. And the back of his head hurt where it had hit the wall.
"Eames, what the…?"
"Goren, if you ever…absolutely ever…introduce me or refer to me as the fuckin' lovely lady in a professional setting again, I swear, Goren, you will be singing soprano in the church choir. Do I make myself clear?"
"Uh…crystal."
"Ummm…Eames?"
"What?" she snarled.
"Did I ..uh….actually do that… today?
"Yes…. yes, you did, Goren." Eames was not smiling.
"Well, uh…it's just that you are…so..uh…beautiful…that I …uh…" That's all he got out before Eames cut him off again with another sharp yank on his tie.
"Ooofff."
"Goren, if you have so much as one iota of the brains we all give you credit for, then you will just shut your mouth. Because there is no way out of this. No amount of flattery or sweet talk could possibly save your ass right now, pal."
"Now, Eames…"
"Don't 'now Eames' me, Goren, or you will definitely be singing in different section of the choir.
"Uh…right."
Eames released her grip on Goren's tie, opened the door and walked back to her desk. Captain Deakins just happened to be on the other side of the door. Eames just glared at him, daring him to speak to her, and continued walking back to her desk.
"Goren, what the hell what that all about?" asked Deakins.
"Oh…Captain…Eames and I were just… uhhh…having a discussion... about vocal ranges in choral singing."
"Really?"
Deakins had this incredulous look on his face.
"Yes, Eames thinks I should ...ummm...expand my vocal range," as Goren strolled past his boss on his way back to his desk.
