I have so many other stories I should update first, but this one just pushed forward. They do that. This chapter wanted to be written. So enjoy!

Chapter 4: Waking

"Harry? Mr Potter? Harry?"

The voice persisted, pulling him out of his much-needed rest back into the waking realm. He came reluctantly. He'd slept more in the last two days than in the past month, and his body just didn't want to let it go while it had it. But now that he was halfway to waking, the uncomfortable twist in his back, and the sharp object pressing into his cheek, badgered him fully awake.

Groaning, he raised his head, blinking blearily in the dusky light. It was nightfall. He'd dozed off and slept until evening? Had he really been that tired? His back ached from twisting as he fell sideways, to rest sprawled across someone's knees. Oh. Ooops.

"So. You're finally awake, Mr Potter. Nice of you to join us in the world of the living. Would you mind getting off me now?" Severus sounded amused. Luckily. Harry'd been rather expecting something a bit more violent, like getting kicked off the man. He'd mellowed quite a bit, in just two days. At least when no-one else was around. Who'd have thought?

"Sorry about that sir," Harry murmured hurriedly, pulling his aching body into rough alignment against the base of the chair. Sleeping bent around a chair and a man's legs was not good for you, that was for sure.

"Sir? This looks private to me, Harry. Is Severus not good enough for you?" Severus asked, with characteristic raised eyebrow. Harry dipped his head.

"Sorry. But you called me Mr Potter. So you did it first."

"Hmpf. I suppose I did. Forgive me for being unused to waking up with a sixteen-year-old drapped over me. It threw me off my game just a bit. So sorry, Mr Potter."

"Alright," Harry laughed. "Point made. Sorry, Severus. I just ... fell asleep. I've been sort of tired lately, and I figured you weren't going anywhere for a while. So ... neither did I. Not a wise move, as it turned out. My back is killing me!"

Severus laughed, a real belly laugh that shook his thin frame. Harry blinked in shock and consternation. Gasping slightly, Severus apologised. "Sorry Harry. But you sound even older that I am. 'My back hurts'? Really! You're the teenager. You're not supposed to complain of back aches. Next you'll tell me you've got arthritis."

"Sir? Severus? Are you alright? This isn't like you." Yeah. Professor Snape, greasy git of Hogwarts, did not sit back and laugh at a lame comment from a student. Especially Harry Potter. Neither did the Order's spy.

Severus was watching him with a faint, knowing smile. "Which me, Harry? Which me isn't it like? The professor? The spy?"

"But ... Even the Severus from that memory, with my Dad, wasn't like this. He wasn't so ... relaxed, I guess. No you, that I've ever seen, has been like this. What's going on, Severus? Who are you?" And why do I care so much? I haven't cared about anything at all recently. Why him, of all people?

Severus leant forward, propping his chin in his hands as he smiled down at Harry. "I'm me, Harry. The real me. The one I hid from everyone else in the entire world. I'm the me who laughs, who cries, who has feelings besides anger and hate and jealousy. I'm the Severus Snape who existed before the marauders, before the werewolf, before Voldemort, before Dumbledore, before the Order, before the Professor. No-one has seen this me before. No-one still living. Don't you feel lucky?"

Harry was momentarily speechless. "But ... but ... But why me? You hated me. Every you hated me. Of all the people you could have chosen ..."

"And who do you think I would choose, Harry? Who do you think I would trust? Dumbledore, who threw me back to the Death Eaters as his spy? The Order? Who is there, Harry? Who can I trust?" The smile became sad. "Personally, I'd rather trust the one kid who never backed down from me, never gave up his suspicions despite numerous people telling him to back down, and didn't spit on me when I offered help. The one person who looked at me based on his personal experiences of me, not on other people's interpretations. I'd rather trust you, Harry."

Harry shook his head desperately. "We said we'd help each other, but so far you just give me stuff, and don't ask anything in return. You can't keep doing this. First your sanctuary, now ... this! Why me, why now, all of a sudden? What happened?"

"You woke up," Severus replied simply. "You saw. It was enough. And you have given me something. Do you know what it's like to hide, from everyone? To have no-one who knows, or understands how you feel? You do. Now you have me. And, more importantly, I have you. It is ... such a relief. I don't mind you knowing of the Study. We're probably both going to die. So you can have my secrets. And I can know that someone I trust has them. And me. Until the end. It's enough, for me."

Harry bit his lip, then took the other man's hand. "And for me, Severus. It's more than anyone else has offered. It's enough. For both of us."

Severus smiled, gripping his hand firmly. Then, shrugging exasperatedly, he pulled Harry up into a warm hug. Harry stiffened in shock, then relaxed. "Thank you, Harry," Severus murmured into his hair. "Thank you."

"Same to you, Severus," Harry whispered back. He was surprised to find himself crying softly, and even more stunned to realise that Severus was too. The arms that held him trembled ever so slightly, but the man made no sound. But no-one cried silently. Not real crying.

"Severus? You don't have to hide from me. I know it's not the Study, but you don't have to worry about people seeing weakness. You can cry properly. I'm here." And crying too, as hard. It'd been so long since he'd felt safe enough to actually let tears fall, and even longer since he'd had someone to comfort him, to be there and hold him. He wondered how long Severus had waited. Years. Too long. So here, Harry could give a little back for what his friend had given him. Even if it was just a hug.

Severus' arms tightened around him as the man hid his face in his hair and sobbed, once, softly. The tiny sound was like a dam breaking, on walls that had been held tight for who knew how long, and Severus cried. Real tears. Harry, sitting in his lap, rocked him, snuffling himself. They stayed like that for a long time.

Finally, Severus pulled back a bit, calm again, and looked at Harry. His eyes were red and tired, but for some reason he looked lighter. The lines around his black eyes seemed less pronounced, his face less harsh. He smiled a watery smile, and lifted a hand to Harry's face. Harry blinked as Severus' thumb smoothed across his cheeks, wiping away the tears that lingered there. Hesitantly, he lifted his hand to do the same for the other man.

"Not often you get to see your Professor cry, huh?" Severus murmured.

"Not often I get to do it myself," Harry smiled. "Guess we both got something off our chests. Feels good, huh?"

"Hmm. It's supposedly very female to cry. Not something real men are supposed to do. It's not done for a man to let his emotions run loose."

"Well, bugger that! I'll cry if I damn well want, and so will you! While it's safe, anyway. While we're here. What they don't know won't hurt them!" Harry grinned.

"Well said, Mr Potter. Well said. But perhaps you and I should return now to our respective roles. It's time to step back into the play, and say our lines again. Though it's probably a tragedy, we'll play our parts nonetheless. Because no-one else wants to play the martyr and the spy. It's up to us. As usual."

"Yeah. But at least the actors can now get a break every so often. At least we know we're acting, and who's really playing the part. That means a lot, Severus. For me, anyway."

"And for me, Harry," Severus replied. "And for me."

Well, people? How was this chapter? I gotta go to bed now, so leave a review for me to find in the morning. They make me happy, and it's nice to be happy in the morning. Thanks again, all you happy people you!