Chapter10 What does it mean?
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Disclaimer
Oddly enough I still don't own OUATIM.
Jason sat in his living room biting his nails. Sands had been gone for just over three days. He still didn't know where he was. A small part of him had a horrible feeling he had been sent back to Home. Jason knew how much Sands hated it there. It pained him to think of him there. He hated Sand's foster parents for doing this to him. He knew that hadn't got on at times but he never thought they would send him back there.
A bigger part of him hated himself. If he hadn't been so stupid and selfish this would never have happened. Why did he have to talk Sands into getting the piercing? Although he knew Sands wasn't the type of person to do something for someone else. He wasn't easily swayed by other, he was a stubborn bastard and they both new it but he still hated himself for even suggesting the idea. All because he wanted a little extra sensation in their activities Sands had been made to pay the price.
Sands had never gone into any detail about his past. Jason had come to accept it was a discussion that was not up for discussion. Somehow he got the feeling Sands had suffered a lot at the hands of his parents making it difficult for him to love or trust anyone incase he got hurt again. That was why he hated himself; he had caused Sands hurt even if it was unintentional he had hurt him.
"What are you sitting mopping about?" his mother snapped as she entered the room.
He looked up at her. "Nothing," he muttered.
Her mother stared at him and shook her head. She knew it was Sands that was causing him this upset. A small part of her had the feeling there was a little more to their relationship then she had first thought. That was why she didn't tell him where Sands was. If her suspicions were true then this wasn't something she wished to encourage.
She hoped it was something that would pass with time. She was not a believer of the clichéd phrase "absence makes the heart grow fonder." She believed this infatuation Jason may have for Sands would pass when he wasn't around him. She was a believer of, "out of sight out of mind" She decided it was just a phase. He was just confused. She honestly believed it was for the best that he didn't see Sands again.
She did feel sorry for the boy. It was obvious he had, had a bad upbringing but her son's best interests came first and she honestly believed it was within her son's best interests if he didn't see him again.
Jason sat in his room trying to forget about Sands. In reality that was not quite true. There was no way he could forget about Sands even if he wanted to. He didn't want to forget about Sands he just hated that he was all he could think about because it hurt him so much.
He was only just beginning to realise how deep his feelings for Sands really were. He wasn't even sure if Sands felt the same about him. It upset him more still to think that given the circumstances it may not matter either way.
He couldn't shift the memory of their first kiss from his mind no matter how hard he tried to stop it. The scene played over and over in his mind. It wasn't something either of them expected but straight away something about it made it feel right. There was a definite connection between them that neither of them could or wanted to deny.
Jason had to find out where Sands was. He couldn't stand the thought of Sands thinking he didn't care or had forgotten about him. He wanted to show Sands that he could trust someone and he wouldn't be hurt by it.
He had a feeling his mother suspected something going on between him and Sands. He knew she would freak if she found out he was trying to find him again but he didn't care he had to see Sands.
